PREPARE YOURSELF MENTALLY

                                                    MENTAL PREPARE

               BY NOW YOU WILL KNOW HOW IMPORTANT WE THINK YOUR SELF-TALK IS, IN ALL YOUR FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOUR, INCLUDING ASSERTION. A CONFROTATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE CAN BLOW UP QUICKLY, EVEN IF YOU KNEW IT WAS COMING, WHICH IS NOT ALWAYS POSSIBLE. YOU WILL FEEL MORE CONFIDENT AND ASSERT YOURSELF MORE EFFECTIVELY, IF APPROPRIATE SELF-TALK HAS BECOME SOMETHING OF A HABIT FOR YOU. IT IS A BIT DIFFICULT TO BLOW A WHISTLE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONFRONTATION AND ANNOUNCE YOU ARE TAKING A 10- MINUTE THINK BEFORE. 

               SOMETIMES YOU MAY BE ABLE TO DO THIS. IN OUR ADVISE TO COUPLE, WE SUGGEST DELIBERATELY USING TIME OUT FROM AN ESCALATING DISCUSSION TO GIVE THEM TIME TO COOL DOWN AND WORK OUT A CONSTRUCTIVE APPROACH TO THE ISSUE. YOU MAT BE ABLE TO GET AGREEMENT TO TAKE TIME OUT FROM SOMEONE WHO VALUES YOUR RELATIONSHIP, BUT NOT EVERYONE YOU CONFRONT WILL FEEL LIKE THAT AND BE WILLING TO WAIT WHILE YOU THINK THINGS THROUGH.

                LATER, WE WILL SUGGEST SOME BRIEF SELF-TALK YOU CAN USE TO HELP YOU STAY ASSERTIVE DURING A CONFRONTATION, BUT RIGHT NOW WE ARE SUGGESTING YOU DO SOME MORE EXTENSIVE REVIEWING OF YOUR SEL-TALK REGARDING ASSERTION, AGRESSIVE AND SUBMISSION. THIS IS INTENDED TO HELP YOU DEVELOP ASSERTIVE HABITS OF MIND.