RELATIONSHIPS

                                                ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

            CAN WE CHANGE AN ADDICTIVE RELATIONSHIP INTO A TRUE ONE?

               YES. BEING PRESENT AND INTENSIFYING YOUR PRESENCE BY TAKING YOUR ATTENTION EVER MORE DEEPLY INTO THE NOW. WHETHER YOU ARE LIVING ALONE OR WITH A PARTNER, THIS REMAINS THE KEY, FOR LOVE TO FLOURISH, THE LIGHT OF YOUR PRESENCE NEEDS TO BE STRONG ENOUGH SO THAT YOU NO LONGER GET TAKEN OVER BY THE THINKER OR THE PAIN-BODY AND MISTAKE THEM FOR WHO YOU ARE. TO KNOW YOURSELF AS THE BEING UNDERNEATH THE THINKER, THE STILLNESS UNDERNEATH THE MENTAL NOISE, THE LOVE AND JOY UNDERNEATH THE PAIN, IS FREEDOM, SALVATION, ENLIGHTENMENT. TO DISIDENTIFY FROM THE PAIN-BODY IS TO BRING PRESENCE INTO THE PAIN AND THUS TRANSMUTE IT. TO DISIDENTIFY FROM THINKING IS TO BE THE SILENT WATCHER OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIOR, ESPECIALLY THE REPETITIVE PATTERNS OF YOUR MIND AND THE ROLES PLAYED BY THE EGO.

             IF YOU STOP INVESTING IT WITH "SELFNESS" THE MIND LOSES ITS COMPULSIVE QUALITY, WHICH BASICALLY IS THE COMPULSION TO JUDGE, AND SO TO RESIST WHAT IS, WHICH CREATES CONFLICT, DRAMA, AND NEW PAIN. IN FACT, THE MOMENT THAT JUDGMENT STOPS THROUGH ACCEPTANCE OF WHAT IS, YOU ARE FREE OF THE MIND. YOU HAVE MADE ROOM FOR LOVE, FOR JOY, FOR  PEACE. FIRST YOU STOP JUDGING YOURSELF, THEN YOU STOP JUDGING YOUR PARTNER. THE GREATEST CATALYST FOR CHANGE IN A RELATIONSHIP IS COMPLETE ACCEPTANCE OF YOUR PARTNER AS HED OR SHE IS, WITHOUT NEEDING TO JUDGE OR CHANGE THEM IN ANY WAY. THAT IMMEDIALTY TAKES YOU BEYOND EGO. ALL MIND GAMES AND ALL ADDICTIVE CLINGING ARE THEN OVER. THERE ARE NO VICTIMS AND NO PERPETRATORS ANYMORE, NO ACCUSER AND ACCUSED. THIS IS ALSO THE END OF ALL CODEPENDENCY, OF BEING DRAWN INTO SOMEBODY ELSE UNCONSCIOUS PATTERN AND THEREBY ENABLING IT TO CONTINUE. YOU WILL THEN EITHER SEPERATE-IN LOVE- OR MOVE EVER MORE DEEPLY INTO THE NOW TOGETHER- INTO BEING. CAN IT BE THAT SIMPLY? YES,IT IS THAT SIMPLE.

         LOVE IS STATE OF BEING, YOUR LOVE IS NOT OUTSIDE, IT IS DEEP WITHIN YOU. YOU CAN NEVER LOSE, IT AND IT CANNOT LEAVE YOU. IT IS NOT DEPENDENT ON SOME OTHER BODY, SOME EXTERNAL FORM. IN THE STILLNESS  OF YOUR PRESENCE, YOU CAN FEEL YOUR OWN FORMLESS AND TIMELESS REALITY AS THE UNMANIFESTED LIFE THAT ANIMATES YOUR PHYSICAL FORM. YOU CAN THEN CREATURE. YOU LOOK BEYOND THE VEIL OF FORM AND SEPERATION. THIS IS THE REALIZATION OF ONENESS. THIS IS LOVE.

          WHAT IS GOD? THE ETERNAL ONE LIFE UNDERNEATH ALL THE FORMS OF LIFE. WHAT IS LOVE? TO FEEL THE PRESENCE OF THAT ONE LIFE DEEP WITHIN YOURSELF AND WITHIN ALL CREATURES. TO BE IT. ALL IS THE LOVE OF GOD.

           LOVE IS NOT SELECTIVE, JUST AS THE LIGHT OF THE SUN IS NOT SELECTIVE. IT DOES NOT MAKE ONE PERSON SPECIAL. IT IS NOT EXCLUSIVE. EXCLUSIVITY IS NOT THE LOVE OF GOD BUT THE "LOVE" OF EGO. HOWEVER, THE INTENSITY WITH WHICH TRUE LOVE IS FELT CAN VARY. THERE MAY BE ONE PERSON WHO REFLECTS YOUR LOVE BACK TO YOU MORE CLEARLY AND MORE INTENSELY THAN OTHERS, AND IF THAT PERSON FEELS THE SAME TOWARD YOU, IT CAN BE SAID THAT YOU ARE IN A LOVE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM OR HER. THE BOND THAT CONNECTS YOU WITH THAT PERSON IN THE SAME BOND THAT CONNECTS YOU WILL THE PERSON SITING NEXT TO YOU ON A BUS, OR WITH A BIRD, A TREE, A FLOWER. ONLY THE DEGREE OF INTENSTY WITH WHICH IT IS FELT DIFFERS.

           EVEN IN AN OTHERWISE ADDICTIVE RELATIONSHIP, THERE MAY BE MOMENTS WHEN SOMETHING MORE REAL SHINES THROUGH, SOMETHING BEYOND YOUR MUTUAL ADDICTIVE RELATIONSHIP, THERE MAY BE MOMENTS WHEN SOMETHING MORE REAL SHINES THROUGH, SOMETHING BEYOND YOUR MUTUAL ADDICTIVED NEEDS. THESE ARE MOMENTS WHEN BOTH YOUR AND YOUR PARTNER'S MIND BRIEFLY SUBSIDE AND THE PAIN-BODY IS TEMPORARILY IN A DORMANT STATE. THIS MAY SOMETIMES HAPPEN DURING PHYSICAL INTIMACY, OR WHEN YOU ARE BOTH WITNESSING THE MIRACLE OF CHILDBIRTH, OR IN THE PRESENCE OF DEATH, OR WHEN ONE OF YOU IS SERIOUSLY ILL- ANYTHING THAT RENDERS THE MIND POWERLESS. WHEN THIS HAPPENS, YOUR BEING, WHICH IS USUALLY BURIED UNDERNEATH THE MIND, BECOMES REVEALED, AND IT IS THIS THAT MAKES TRUE COMMUNICATION POSSIBLE.

         ALTHOUGH BRIEF GLIMPSE ARE POSSIBLE, LOVE FLOURISH UNLESS YOU ARE PERMANENTLY FREE  OF MIND IDENTIFICATION AND YOUR PRESENCE IS INTENSE ENOUGH TO HAVE DISSOLVED THE PAIN BODY- OR YOU CAN AT LEAST REMAIN PRESENT AS THE WATCHER. THE PAIN- BODY CANNOT THEN TAKE YOU OVER  AND SO BECOME DESTRUCTIVE OF LOVE.