STAY WITH POSITIVE FRIENDS

                                         EVALUATE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS

        IT'S CRUCIAL THAT YOU EVALUATE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS FROM TIME TO TIME-EVEN THOSE YOU'VE MAINTAINED FOR MANY YEARS. TRUST ME, THIS ISN'T A MINOR ISSUE. THOSE WHO OCCUPY YOUR TIME HAVE A SIGNIFICANT IMPACT ON YOUR MOST PRICELESS POSSESSION-YOUR MIND!

      ARE YOU SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH NEGATIVE FRIENDS AND SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH THEM IN YOUR LEISURE HOURS? IF SO, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU TO THINK ABOUT SPENDING MUCH LESS TIME WITH THESE PEOPLE-OR EVEN NO TIME AT ALL WITH THEM.

      SOUNDS HARSH, DOESN'T IT? I'M SUGGESTING THAT YOU LIMIT - OR ELIMINATE- YOUR INVOLVEMENT WITH SOME LONG-STANDING FRIENDS. WHEN I TELL PEOPLE  THIS AT MY SEMINARS, INVARIABLY SOMEONE WILL RAISE A HAND AND ACCURE ME OF BEING COLD OR UNCARING. THE AUDIENCE MEMBER WILL TYPICALLY SAY, SHOULDN'T WE TRY TO HELP OUR NEGATIVE FRIENDS INSTEAD OF DUMPTING THEM?

      WELL, YOU'RE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU THINK IS BEST, AND EACH SITUATION MUST BE DEAL WITH ON ITS OWN UNIQUE FACTS, HOWEVER, I'VE FOUND THAT IN MOST CASES, HANGING AROUND THESE NEGATIVE FRIENDS, DOESN'T HELP THEM- AND IT DOESN' HELP YOU, EITHER! EVERYONE GETS DRAGGED DOWN BECAUSE MOST NEGATIVE PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO CHANGE. THEY JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO THEIR TALES OF WOE.

         IF YOU HAVE A STRONG URGUE TO SPEND TIME WITH NEGATIVE FRIENDS, ASK YOURSELF; WHY AM I CHOOSING TO BE WITH THESE PEOPLE? CONSCIOUSLY OR UNCONSCIOUSLY, YOU MAY BE CHOOSING TO HOLD YOURSELF BACK-TO BE LESS THAN YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BECOMING.

           BY THE WAY, I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL TO TRY TO HEPL SOMEONE OVERCOME THEIR NEGATIVITY. BUT IF YOU'VE BEEN TRYING FOR SEVERAL YEARS... AND AREN'T GETTING ANYWHERE... MAYBE IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON!

       LET ME CLARIFY ONE IMPORTANT POINT. I'M NOT MAKING A JUDGMENT HERE THAT NEGATIVE PEOPLE ARE ANY LESS WORTHY THAN OTHER PEOPLE. I'M SAYING THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES IF YOU SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE NEGATIVE. WHAT ARETHE CONSEQUENCES? YOU'LL BE LESS HAPPY AND LESS SUCCESSFUL THAN YOU COULD BE.