STOP COMPLAINING AND START DOING

                                                       STOP AND START

                 HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN SOMEONE UNLOADS ALL OF HIS PROBLEMS AND COMPLAINTS ON YOU?  NOT VERY UPLIFTING AND ENERGIZING, IS IT? THE TRUTH IS, NOBODY LIKES TO BE AROUND A COMPLAINER - EXCEPT, PERHAPS, OTHER COMPLAINERS.

              OF COURSE, ALL OF US COMPLAIN AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. THE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS, HOW OFTEN DO YOU COMPLAIN? IF YOU'RE WODERING WHETHER YOU COMPLAIN TOO MUCH, SIMPLY ASK YOUR FRIEDS, RELATIVES OR CO-WORKERS. THEY'LL LET YOU KNOW.

            NOW, WHEN I SAY, "COMPLAIN" I' M NOT TALKING ABOUT THOSE INSTANCES WHEN YOU DISCUSS YOUR PROBLEMS IN AN ATTEMPT TO SEARCH FOR SOLUTIONS. THAT'S CONSTRUCTIVE AND COMMEDABLE. AND I'M NOT REFERRING TO THOSE OCCASIONS WHEN YOU SHARE YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCES (INCLUDING DISSAPOINTMENTS) WITH FRIENDS OR RELATIVES IN THE CONTEXT OF BRINGING THEM UP TO DATE ON THE LATEST DEVELOPMENTS IN YOUR LIFE. AFTER ALL, PART OF BEING HUMAN IS SHARING OUR EXPERIENCE AND SUPPORTING EACH OTHER.

                NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR ACHES AND PAINS

                     MAYBE A FEW EXAMPLES WILL GIVE YOU A BETTER IDEA ABOUT THE KIND OF COMPLAINING THAT'S COUNTER PRODUCTIVE. ONE OF THE MOST COMMON AREAS OF COMPLAINT IS THE SUBJECT OF ILLNESS. IN THIS CATEGORY ARE COMMENTS SUCH AS " MY BACK IS KILLING ME" OR " I HAVE A TROUBL SINUS HEADACHE". WORSE YET, SOME PEOPLE GET VERY GRAPHIC IN EXPLAINING  THE GLORY DETAILS OF THEIR PARTICULAR AILMENT (SUCH AS I HAD THIS GREEN STUFF OOZING OUT OF MY). AND DOESN'T IT JUST MAKE YOUR DAY WHEN YOUR CO-WORKER TELLS YOU THAT HE OR SHE IS NAUSEOUS?

              LET'S FACE IT. WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY DO FOR YOU IF YOU HAVE A STOMACH ACHE? I'M NOT A PHYSICIAN - GO TO A DOCTOR IF YOU HAVE A MEDICAL PROBLEM. MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? YOU MIGHT WANT SYMPATHY, BUT ALL YOU'RE DOING IS DRAGGING ME DOWN AND REINFORCING YOU OWN SUFFERING. TAKING ABOUT PAIN AND DISCOMFORT WILL ONLY BRING YOU MORE OF THE SAME - AND ENCOURAGE THOSE AROUND YOU TO LOOK FOR THE EXITS.

                    WHEN IT COMES TO COMPLAINTS  ABOUT ILLNESS, THE PRINCIPLE OF ESCALATION USUALLY REARS ITS UGLY HEAD. HERE'S HOW IT WORK. YOU TELL YOUR FRIEND ABOUT THE AGONY YOU WENT THROUGH WITH THE FLU. YOUR FRIEND INTERRUPTS AND SAYS, YOU THING YOU HAD IT BAD. WHEN I HAD THE FLUE, I HAD A 104 DEGREE FEVER AND HAD TO BE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL. I ALMOST DIED, OR TELL SOMEONE THAT YOUR BACK OR FOOT HURTS, AND COUNT HOW MANY SECONDS IT TAKES FOR THAT PERSON TO SWITCH THE CONVERSATION TO HIS OR HER OWN BACK PAIN AND ACHING FEET. COMPLAINERS LOVE TO PLAY THIS GAME - THEIR PAIN IS ALWAYS WORSE THAN YOUR

                                                       FORM A NEW HABIT

               IF ALL OF THESE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES FLOW FROM YOUR WORDS, WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO SAY THEM? MORE THAN LIKELY, IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T RECOGNIZED THAT YOU HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER, INSTEAD, YOU'RE FOLLOWING A HABIT THAT YOU DEVELOPED MANY YEARS AGO... A HABIT THAN NO LONGER SERVES YOU.

                IN THE END, YOUR OWN WORD ARE A SELF- FULFILLIN PROPHESY - IF YOU SAY EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE, YOUR MINDS IS ATTRACTED TO THOSE PEOPLE AND CIRCUMSTANCES THAT WILL CAUSE THAT STATEMENT TO BE TRUE. IF ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU REPEATEDLY STATE THAT YOUR LIFE IS WONDERFUL! YOUR MIND WILL BEGIN TO MOVE YOU IN A POSITIVE DIRECTION.

              FOR INSTANCE, JUST CONSIDER WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RESPOND THAT YOU'RE EXCELLENT! OR TERRIFE! AS YOU SAY THESE WORDS, YOUR PHYSIOLOGY BEGINS TO CORRESPOND WITH YOUR OPTIMISTIC LANGUAGE. YOUR POSTURE IS MORE UPRIGHT. OTHER PEOPLE ARE ATTRACTEDTO YOUR ENERGY AND VITALITY. YOUR BUSINESS AND PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS IMPROVE. WILL ALL OF YOUR LIFE'S PROBLEMS MAGICALLY DISAPPEAR? NO, BUT YOU'VE SET IN MOTION A VERY IMPORTANT PRINCIPLE, WE GET WHAT WE EXPECT IN LIFE. 

                    BELIEVE ME, THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. YOU DON'T NEED TALENT, MONEY OR GOOD LOOKS TO HAVE A GREAT ATTITUDE YOU JUST NEED TO GET IN THE HABIT OF USING A HIGH - ENERGY, POSITIVE RESPONSE,AND YOU'LL GET THE SAME EXCITING RESULTS I GOT!