THE FAILURES

                                     FAILURES MAKES OPPORTUNITY

                 SHE COULDN'T PAY HER CREDIT CARD BILLS FOR 26 YEARS.

                 SHE MOVED 25 TIMES LOOKING FOR WORK.

                 SHE WAS FIRED 18 TIMES.

                 SHE WORKED FOR 26 YEARS BEFORE SHE EARNED AN ANNUAL SALARY OF $22000. SHE OCCASIONALLY LIVED ON FOOD STAMPS AND SLEPT IN HER CAR.

                 YOUR PROBABLY THINKING, IF THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT SUCCESS, WHY YOU ARE DRONING ON AND ON ABOUT A WOMAN WHO HAD SO MANY FAILURES?

               I'LL TELL YOU WHY. THE 'FAILURE,' DESCRIBED ABOVE IN WELL-KNOWN TV TALK SHOW HOST SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL. YOU SEE, DESPITE ALL OF HER SETBACKS, SHE REFUSED TO GIVE UP CHILDHOOD DREAM OF A CAREER IN BROADCASTING.

             SHE WAS WILLING TO KEEP FAILING... AND KEEP FAILING... UNTIL SHE SUCCEEDED. SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL HAS EARNED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND ENJOYED A LONG AND SUCCESSFUL TV CAREER. ALL BECAUSE SHE KEPT A GREAT ATTITUDE DESPITE YEARS OF FAILURES.

                                                       IN THE BEGINNING

                 HOW IS IT THAT SOMEONE LIKE SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL CAN ENDURE 26 YEARS OF FAILURE AND KEEP GOING? IF YOU LOOK BACK TO YOUR OWN CHILDHOOD, I THINK YOU'LL SEE THAT YOU, TOO DEMONSTRATED TREMENDOUS RESILIENCE IN THE FACE OF REPEATED FAILURES.

               REMEMBER WHEN YOU LEARNED HOW TO RIDE A BICYCLE? YOU PROBABLY BEGAN WITH TRAINING WHEELS. EVENTUALLY, WHEN THESE CRUTCHES WERE REMOVED, KEEPING YOUR BALANCE BECAME MORE DIFFICULT. YOU STRUGGLED TO STAY UPRIGHT, MAYBE EVEN FALLING A FEW TIMES AND SCRAPING YOURSELF. YOU WERE LEARNING AN IMPORTANT EARLY LESSON ABOUT FAILURE.

           AS YOU PRACTICED, IT'S LIKELY THAT ONE OF YOUR PARENTS WALKED BESIDE YOU SHOUTING INSTRUCTIONS, ENCOURAGING YOU AND CATCHING YOU AS YOU LOST BALANCE. YOU WERE SCARED... BUT EXCITED! YOU LOOKED FORWARD TO THE TIME WHEN YOU WOULD SUCCEED, WHEN YOU WOULD ATLAST RIDE FREE ON YOUR OWN. SO YOU KEPT AT IT EVERY DAY, AND EVENTUALLY MASTERED THE SKILL OF RIDING A BIKE.

           WHAT CONTRIBUTED TO YOUR ULTIMATE SUCCESS IN LEARNING HOW TO RIDE YOUR BIKE? WELL, PERSISTENCE AND SHEER REPETITION, CERTAINLY. YOU WERE GOING TO STICK WITH IT NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TOOL! IT ALSO HELPED THAT YOU WERE ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT WHAT YOU SET OUT TO ACHIEVE - THAT YOU COULD HARDLY WAIT TO REACH YOUR GOAL. AND FINALLY, LET'S NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPACT OF POSITIVE ENCOURAGEMENT. YOU ALWAYS KNEW YOUR PARENTS WERE IN YOUR CORNER, SUPPORTING YOU, ROOTING FOR YOUR SUCCESS.

           AS A SIX-YEARS LEARNING TO RIDE YOUR BIKE, YOU WERE OPTIMISTIC ...THRILLED... AND EAGER TO MEET THE CHALLENGE. YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO TRY AGAIN. YOU KNEW YOU'D MASTER IT EVENTUALLY.

           BUT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

                                                      YESTERDAY AND TODAY

                                     NOW LET'S EXAMINE HOW MOST ADULTS APPROACH THE DEVELOPMENT OF NEW SKILLS. WOULD YOU SAY THEY'RE OPTIMISTIC... THRILLED... AND EAGER TO MEET THE CHALLENGE? WE BOTH KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION IS "NO".

                               LET'S ASSUME WE ASKED A GROUP OF ADULTS TO LEARN A NEW SOFTWARE PROGRAM OR TO SWITCH TO ANOTHER POSITION IN THE COMPANY. HOW WOULD MOST RESPOND?

                                         👀 THEY'D TRY TO AVOID IT.

                                         👀 THEY'D COMPLAIN.

                                         👀 THEY'D MAKE EXCUSES WHY THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TO                                                        DO  IT.

                                         👀 THEY'D DOUBT THEIR ABILITIES.

                                         👀 THEY'D BE AFRAID.

                         WHAT HAPPENEDTO THAT SIX-YEAR-OLD BRIMMING WITH VITALITY AND A SENSE OF ADVENTURE? HOW DID THAT CHILD TURN INTO AN ADULT MOANING AND GROANING ABOUT LEARNING SOMETHING NEW? AS ADULTS, MOST OF US BECOME A LOT MORE CONCERNED ABOUT EH OPINIONS OF OTHERS, OFTEN HESITATING BECAUSE PEOPLE MAY LAUGH AT UR OR CRITICIZE US.

                           AT THE AGE OF SIX, WE KNEW WE HAD TO FALL OFF THE BIKE AND GET BACK ON TO LEARN A NEW SKILL. FALLING OFF THE BIKE WASN'T A BAD THING, BUT AS WE GOT OLDER, WE STARTED TO PERCEIVE FALLING OFF AS A BAD THING-RATHER THAN AN ESSENTIAL PART OF THE PROCESS OF ACHIEVING OUR GOAL.

                       AS I POINTED OUT IN LESSON 10, IT CAN BE UNCOMFORTABLE TO TRY SOMETHING NEW, PERHAPS EVEN SCARY. BUT IF YOU TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE GOAL AND INSTEAD FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON HOW OTHERS MAY BE VIEWING YOU, YOU'RE DOING YOURSELF A GRAVE DISSERVICE. TO DEVELOP A NEW SKILL OR REACH A  MEANINGFUL TARGET, YOU MUST BE COMMITTED TO DOING WHAT IT TAKES A GET THERE, EVEN IF IT MEANS PUTTING UP WITH NEGATIVE FEEDBACKS OR FALLING ON YOUR FACE NOW AND THEN.

                  SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE HAVE LEARNED TO FAIL, THEIR WAY TO SUCCESS. WHILE THEY MAY NOT NECESSARY PART OF THE ROAD TO VICTORY. AFTER ALL, BECOMING PROFICIENT AT ANY SKILL REQUIRES TIME, EFFORT AND DISCIPLINE ... AND THE WILLINGNESS TO PERSEVERE THROUGH WHATEVER DIFFICULTIES MAY ARISE.

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