DEFINE SUCCESS

                                             THE SUCCESSFUL PERSON

                  WHAT MAKES A PERSON SUCCESSFUL? HOW DO WE RECOGNIZE SUCCESS? TO SOME PEOPLE, SUCCESS MIGHT MEAN WEALTH. TO OTHERS, IT IS RECOGNITION, GOOD HEALTH, A GOOD FAMILY, HAPPINESS, SATISFACTION, AND PEACE OF MIND. WHAT THIS REALLY TELLS US IS THAT SUCCESS IS SUBJECTIVE. SUCCESS MEANS DIFFERENT THINGS TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. THE DEFINITION THAT I FEEL BEST SUMMARIZES SUCCESSS IS.

             SUCCESS IS THE PROGRESSIVE REALIZATION OF A WORTHY GOAL.

                              LET'S LOOK AT THESE DEFINITIONS CAREFULLY.

            PROGRESSIVE MEANS THAT SUCCESS IS A JOURNEY, NOT A DESTINATION. WE NEVER ARRIVE. AFTER WE REACH ONE GOAL, WE GO ON TO THE NEXT AND THE NEXT AND SO ON.

             REALIZATION MEANS IT AN EXPERIENCE. OUTSIDE FORCES CANNOT MAKE ME FEEL SUCCESSFUL. I HAVE TO FEEL IT WITHIN MYSELF. IT IS INTERNAL NOT EXTERNAL. THAT IS WHY WHAT OFTEN APPEARS AS SUCCESS EXTERNALLY MAY BE TOTAL HOLLOWNESS WITHIN.

            WORTHLESSNESS REFERS TO OUR VALUE SYSTEM WITHOUT WHICH GOALS CAN BE UNWORTHY. WHICH WAY ARE WE HEADING ? TOWARDS POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE GOALS? WORTHINESS DETERMINES THE QUALITY OF THE JOURNEY. THAT IS WHAT GIVES MEANING AND FULFILLMENT. GOALS ARE IMPORTANT BECAUSE THEY GIVE US A SENSE OF DIRECTION.

                                SUCCESS WITHOUT FULFILLMENT IS EMPTY.

            I DON'T KNOW THE KEY TO SUCCESS, BUT THE KEY TO FAILURE IS TRYING                   TO PLEASE EVERYBODY.

                                                                                                          ------BILL COSBY

                       SUCCESS DOES NOT MEAN BEING LIKED AND ACCEPTED BY EVERYONE. THERE ARE SOME GROUPS I WOULD NOT, OUT OF CHOICE, WANT TO BE ACCEPTED BY. I WOULD RATHER BE CRITICIZED BY FOOLS THAN APPRECIATED BY UNSAVORY CHARACTERS.

                     I SEE SUCCESS AS A MANIFESTATION OF GOOD LUCK THAT RESULTS FROM INSPIRATION, ASPIRATION, DESPERATION AND PERSPIRATION - GENERALLY IN THAT SEQUENCE.

                   SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS GO HAND IN HAND. SUCCESS IS GETTING WHAT YOU WANT AND HAPPINESS IS WANTING WHAT YOU GET.

                          EXISTENCE ALONE IS NOT SUCCESS! IT IS A LOT MORE!

          ❤   DO MORE THAN EXIST - LIVE.

          ❤  DO MORE THAN TOUCH - FEEL.

          ❤  DO MORE THAN LOOK - OBSERVE.

          ❤  DO MORE THAN HEAR - LISTEN.

          ❤  DO MORE THAN LISTEN - UNDERSTAND.

                                                                                     -- JOHN H. RHOADES

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                                                 SOME OBSTACLES TO SUCCESS

                    ❤ EGO

                    ❤ FEAR OF FAILURE/SUCCESS, LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM

                    ❤ NO PLAN

                    ❤ LACK OF FORMALIZED GOALS

                    ❤ LIFE CHANGES

                    ❤ PROCRASTINATION

                    ❤ FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES

                    ❤ FINANCIAL SECURITY ISSUES

                    ❤ LACK OF FOCUS, BEING MUDDLED

                    ❤ GIVING UP VISION FOR PROMISE OF MONEY

                    ❤ DOING TOO MUCH ALONE

                    ❤ OVERCOMMITMENT

                    ❤ LACK OF COMMITMENT

                    ❤ LACK OF TRAINING

                    ❤ LACK OF PERSISTENCE

                    ❤ LACK OF PRIORITIES     

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                                                                        👀👀👀👀👀

  

LIFE IS A BOOMERANG

                              👉    DOING GOOD AND RECEIVE GOOD   👈

                 BENJAMIN FRANKLIN SAID, WHEN YOU ARE GOOD TO OTHERS, YOU ARE BEST TO YOURSELF.

             WHETHER IT IS YOUR THOUGHTS, ACTIONS OR BEHAVIOR, SOONER OR LATER THEY RETURN- AND WITH GREAT ACCURACY.

              TREAT PEOPLE WITH RESPECT ON YOUR WAY UP BECAUSE YOU WILL BE MEETING THEM ON YOUR WAY DOWN.

              THE FOLLOWING STORY IS TAKEN FROM THE BEST OF... BITS & PIECES.

              MANY YEARS AGO TWO BOYS WERE WORKING THEIR WAY THROUGH STANFORD UNIVERSITY. THEIR FUNDS GOT DESPERATELY LOW, AND THE IDEA CAME TO THEM TO ENGAGE IGNACY PADEREWSKI FOR A PIANO RECITAL. THEY WOULD USE THE FUNDS TO HELP PAY THEIR BOARD AND TUITION.

             THE GREAT PIANEST'S MANAGER ASKED FOR A GUARANTEE OF $2000. THE GUARANTEE WAS A LOT OF MONEY IN THOSE DAYS, BUT THE BOYS AGREED AND PROCEEDED TO PROMOTE THE CONCERT. THEY WORKED HARD, ONLY TO FIND THAT THEY HAD GROSSED ONLY $1600.

                    AFTER THE CONCERT THE TWO BOYS TOLD THE GREAT ARTIST THE BAD NEWS. THEY GAVE HIM THE ENTIRE $1600, ALONG WITH A PROMISSORY NOTE FOR $400, EXPLAINING THAT THEY WOULD EARN THE AMOUNT AT THE EARLIEST POSSIBLE MOMENT AND SEND THE MONEY TO HIM. IT LOOKED LIKE THE END OF THEIR COLLEGE CAREERS. 

                 NO BOYS, REPLIED PADEREWSKI, THAT WON'T DO. THEN, TEARING THE NOTE IN TWO, HE RETURNED THE MONEY TO THEM AS WELL, NOW, HE TOLD THEM. TAKE OUT OF THIS $1600 ALL OF YOUR EXPENSES AND KEEP FOR EACH OF YOU 10 PERCENT OF THE BALANCE FOR YOUR WORK. LET ME HAVE THE REST.

                 THE YEARS ROLLED BY. WORLD WAR I CAME AND WENT. PADEREWSKI, NOW PREMIER OF POLAND, WAS STRIVING TO FEED THOUSANDS OF STARVING PEOPLE IN HIS NATIVE LAND. THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO COULD HELP HIM WAS HERBERT HOOVER, WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF THE US FOOD AND RELIEF BUREAU. HOOVER RESPONDED AND SOON THOUSANDS OF TONS FOOD WERE SENT TO POLAND.

                  AFTER THE STARVING PEOPLE WERE FED, PADERESWSKI JOURNEYED TO PARIS TO THANK HOOVER FOR THE RELIEF SENT TO HIM.

                  THAT'S ALL RIGHT. MR.PEDEREWSKI, WAS HOOVER'S REPLY. BESIDES, YOU DON'T REMEMBER IT, BUT YOU HELPED ME ONCE WHEN I WAS A STUDENT AT COLLEGE, AND I WAS IN TROUBLE.

                  IT IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL COMPENSATIONS OF LIFE  THAT NO MAN CAN SINCERELY TRY TO HELP ANOTHER WITHOUT HELPING HIMSELF.

                  GOODNESS HAS A WAY OF COMING BACK, THAT IS TE NATURE OF THE BEAST. ONE DOESN'T HAVE TO DO GOOD WITH A DESIRE TO GET BACK. IT JUST HAPPENS AUTOMATICALLY.

                   SOME FACTORS TO MAINTAINING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS:

 

                MOST OF THEM ARE SELF-EXPLANATORY OR ELABORATED ON LATER IN                         THIS CHAPTER:

            1. SELFISHNESS

            2. LACK OF COURTESY

            3. INCONSIDERATE BEHAVIOR

            4. NOT MEETING COMMITMENTS

            5. RUDE BEHAVIOR

            6. LACK OF INTEGRITY AND HONESTY

            7. SELF-CENTEREDNESS

               (A PERSON ALL WRAPPED UP IN HIMSELF MAKES A PRETTY SMALL PACKAGE)

            8. ARROGANCE 

                ( AN ARROGANT PERSON IS CONTENT WITH HIS OPINION AND KNOWLEDGE.                         THAT WILL GUARANTEE HIM PERPETUAL IGNORANCE)

           9. CONCEIT

              ( SINCE NATURE ABHORS A VACUUM, SHE FILLS EMPTY HEADS WITH CONCEIT)

      

               JOHN BRAGGED, MY SON GOT HIS INTELLIGENCE FROM ME, HIS WIFE REPLIED, I AM SURE HE DOES, BECAUSE I HAVE STILL GOT MINE.

          

               👀 NEGATIVE ATTITUDE

               👀 CLOSED MIND

               👀 LACK OF LISTENING

               👀 SUSPICIOUS NATURE

               👀 LACK OF RESPECT FOR VALUES (LOW MORALS)

               👀 LACK OF DISCIPLINE

               👀 LACK OF COMPASSION(CRUELTY IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS)

                👀 IMPATIENCE

                👀 ANGER (TEMPER GETS A PERSON IN TROUBLE AND EGO KEEPS HIM THERE)

                👀 MANIPULATING BEHAVIOR

                👀 ESCAPIST BEHAVIOR

                👀 TOUCHY NATURE

                👀 INCONSISTENCY

                👀 UNWILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH

                👀 PAST BAD EXPERIENCE

                👀 AN UNCARING ATTITUDE( BEING IGNORED IS NOT A GOOD FEELINGS, IT SHOWS A LACK OF CONCERN)

                👀 GREED - IS LIKE WATER, THE MORE YOU DRINK, THE THIRSTIER YOU GET.

               THIS PROBABLY IS NOT AN ALL-INCLUSIVE LIST. MOST OF US MAY HAVE SOME OF THE CHARACTERISTICS MENTIONED ABOVE. SOME MAY HAVE MORE OF ONE THAN THE OTHER. THE OBJECTIVE IS TO EVALUATE AND ADJUST COURSE IN THOSE AREAS.

                                                                                ❤❤❤❤❤

THE USES OF POSITIVE HABITS

                                               FORMING POSITIVE HABITS

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           IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO CHANGE, REGARDLESS OF YOUR AGE AND HOW OLD THE HABIT IS. WE CAN CHANGE BY BEING AWARE OF WHAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGED AND USING TECHNIQUES THAT MODIFY BEHAVIOR. THE OLD ADAGE THAT YOU CAN'T TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS IN WRONG. WE ARE  HUMAN BEINGS, NOT DOGS. NOR ARE WE PERFORMING TRICKS. WE CAN UNLERN SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR AND LEARN POSITIVE BEHAVIOR.

             AS EARL NIGHTINGALE SAID, THE SECRET OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE IS THAT THEY FORM THE HABIT OF DOING THINGS THAT FAILURES  DON'T LIKE TO DO AND WON'T DO. JUST THINK ABOUT THE THINGS THAT FAILURES DON'T DO. THEY ARE THE SAME THINGS THAT SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE DON'T LIKE TO DO, BUT THEY DO THEM ANYWAY. FOR EXAMPLE, FAILURES DON'T LIKE DISCIPLINE, HARD WORK, OR KEEPING COMMITMENTS. SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ALSO DISLIKE DISCIPLINE, HARE WORK (AN ATHELETE DOESN'T LIKE AND WANT THE DISCIPLINE TO GET UP AND TRAIN EVERY DAY BUT HE DOES IT REGARDLESS), BUT THEY DO THESE THINGS ANYWAY BECAUSE THEY HAVE FORMED GOOD HABITS.

            IT IS EASIER TO PREVENT BAD BAHITS THAN TO  OVERCOME THEM. GOOD HABITS COME FROM OVERCOMING TEMPTATION. HAPPINESS AND UNHAPPINESS ARE A HABIT. EXELLENCE IS THE RESULT OF REPEATED CONSCIOUS EFFORT UNTIL THE BEHAVIOR OF THE ATTITUDE BECOMES A HABIT.

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                                                    PREPARE THE SUBCONSCIOUS

                     AUTO-SUGGESTIONS CAN BE USED TO ELIMINATE NEGATIVE HABITS AND DEVELOP POSITIVE ONES. WE HAVE ALL USED AUTO-SUGGESTIONS UNCONSCIOULY. FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN WE HAVE TO CATCH AN EARLY MORNING FLIGHT, WHEN WE GET INTO BED WE TELL OURSELF THAT WE HAVE TO WAKE UP AT SIX. AND INVARIABLY, WE DO (OFTEN, EVEN WITHOUT AN ALARM CLOCK). A PREPARED SUBCONSCIOUS MIND WORKS FOR US.

                             A PREPARED SUBCONSCIOUS MIND WORKS FOR US.

               AUTO-SUGGESTION IS A WAY TO PROGRAM AND CONDITION OUR MIND TO MAKE A STATEMENT INTO A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY.

              AUTO-SUGGESTION IS AREPETITIVE PROCESS THROUGH WHICH WE FEED OUR SUBCONSCIOUS WITH POSITIVE STATEMENTS THAT TRANSLATES INTO REALITY. REPETITION ALONE  IS NOT ENOUGH, UNLESS IT IS ACCOMPANIED BY EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS.

              AUTO-SUGGESTIONS WITHOUT VISUALIZATION WILL NOT PRODUCE RESULTS. THE FIRST TIME OUR MIND RECEIVES AN AUTO-SUGGESTION, IT REJECTS IT. WHY? IT IS AN ALIAN THOUGHT, CONTRARY TO OUR BELIEF SYSTEM. SUCCESS DEPENDS ON OUR ABILITY TO CONCENTRATE AND REPEAT THE PROCESS.

                                                                 VISUALIZATION

                     VISUALIZATION IS THE PROCESS OF CREATING AND SEEING A MENTAL PICTURE OF WHAT WE WANT TO HAVE OR DO, OR THE KIND OF PERSON WE WANT TO BE. VISUALIZATION GOES HAND IN HAND WITH AUTO-SUGGESTION. AUTO-SUGGESTION WITHOUT VISUALIZATION IS MECHANICAL REPETITION AND WILL BE INEFFECTIVE. IN ORDER TO SEE RESULTS, FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS-VISUALIZATION MUST ACCOMPANY AUTO-SUGGESTIONS.

                        CAUTION! AUTO-SUGGESTION MAY NOT BE ACCEPTABLE TO OUR MIND THE FIRST TIME WE DO IT BECAUSE IT IS AN ALIEN BELIEVED THAT I HAVE A POOR MEMORY AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN, I TELL MYSELF THAT I HAVE A GOOD MEMORY, MY MIND WILL REJECT IT, SAYING, YOU LIAR! YOU HAVE A BAD MEMORY!, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BELIEVED UP TO THIS POINT. BECAUSE IT TAKES A MINIMUM OF 21 CONSECUTIVE DAYS OF CONSCIOUS, CONTINUOS PRACTICE TO MAKE OR BREAK A HABIT. IF YOU, LISTEN TO AN AUDIO TAPE IN TWENTY-ONE DAYS AND YOUR PLAYER BREAKS DOWN- GUESS WHAT TUNE YOU ARE HUMMING.

    

❤

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                     THE BIG QUESTION IS : 21 DAYS OF CONSCIOUS EFFORT A HEAVY PRICE TO PAY TO CHANGE A LIFETIME FOR THE BETTER? NOT REALLY BUT ONLY THE COMMITTED DO IT. THE AUTO-SUGGESTION PROCESS SOUNDS SIMPLE, BUT IT IS NOT EASY. BUT YOU CAN DO IT. FOLLOW THE STEPS IN THE NEXT SECTION TO TURN YOUR AUTO-SUGGESTION INTO REALITY.

                                                                    👀👀👀👀👀👀

                   

MOTIVATING AND DEMOTIVATING EFFECTS

                                                            MOTIVATORS

               WHAT WE REALLY WANT TO ACCOMPLISH IS SELF-MOTIVATION, WHEN PEOPLE DO THINGS FOR THEIR REASONS AND NOT YOURS. THAT IS LASTING MOTIVATION.

             REMEMBER THE GREATEST MOTIVATOR IS BELIEF. WE HAVE TO INCULCATE FOR OUR ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR. WHEN PEOPLE ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY, EVERYTHING IMPROVES, QUALITY, PRODUCTIVITY, RELATIONSHIPS AND TEAMWORK.

                                           A FEW STEPS TO MOTIVATE OTHERS:

                 👀 GIVE RECOGNITION

                👀 GIVE RESPECT

                👀 BE A GOOD LISTENER

                👀 ENCOURAGE GOAL SETTING

                👀 PROVIDE OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH

                👀 PROVIDE TRAINING

                👀 THROW A CHALLENGE

                👀 HELP, BUT DON'T DO FOR OTHERS WHAT THEY SHOULD DO FOR                                                THEMSELVES

                                                                    CONCLUSION

                             

             PEOPLE DO THINGS FOR THEIR OWN REASONS, NOT YOURS. THIS IS ILLUSTRATED BY A STORY ABOUT RALPH WALDO EMERSON. HE AND HIS SON ONCE WERE STRUGGLING TO GET A CALF INTO THE BARN. BOTH FATHER AND SON WERE EXHAUSED, PULLING AND PUSHING. A LITTLE GIRL WAS PASSING BY. SHE PUT HER LITTLE FINGER INTO THE CALF'S MOUTH, ALLOWING IT TO SUCK, AND THE CALF LOVINGLY FOLLOWED HER TO THE BARN.

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                                                    MOTIVATED INEFFECTIVE

                   WHEN IS AN EMPLOYEE MOST MOTIVATED IN THE CYCLE OF EMPLOYMENT? WHEN HE JOINS AN ORGANIZATION. WHY? BECAUSE HE WANTS TO PROVE THAT BY HIRING HIM. THE EMPLOYER MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. HE IS MOTIVATED BUT BECAUSE HE IS NEW TO THE ENVIRONMENT. BUT HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO, SO HE IS INEFFECTIVE.

                THIS IS THE STAGE WHEN THE EMPLOYEE IS MOST OPENMINDED, RECETIVE AND EASY TO MOLD TO  THE CULTURE OF THE ORGANIZATION. TRAINING AND ORIENTATION BECOME IMPERATIVE.

                UNPROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATIONS HAVE NO, OR VERY POOR, ORIENTATION PROGRAMS. THE FIRST DAY AT THE JOB, THE SUPERVISOR SHOWS THE NEW EMPLOYEE HIS PLACE OF WORK AND TELLS HIM WHAT TO DO THE LEAVES. HE TEACHES ALL THE BAD ALONGWITH THE GOOD THAT HE IS DOING. THE NEW EMPLOYEE QUICKLY LEARNS ALL THE MISTAKES THE SUPERVISOR IS MAKING BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HE HAS BEEN TAUGHT. THE ORGANISATION LOSES THE OPPORTUNITY TO MOLD THE INDIVIDUAL TO ITS CULTURE.

                 PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATIONS ON THE OTHER HAND, TAKE SPECIAL CARE TO INDUCT PEOPLE THEIR ORGANIZATIONS. THEY EXPLAIN TO THEM, AMONG OTHER THINGS, THE FOLLOWING:

                     

                               ❤ THE HIERARCHY

                              ❤ EXPECTATIONS OF EACH OTHER

                              ❤ DO'S AND DONT'S

                              ❤ PARAMETERS AND GUIDELINES

                              ❤ WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE AND WHAT IS NOT

                              ❤ THE RESOURCES 

                  HOW CAN ONE EXPECT PERFORMANCE UNLESS EXPECTATIONS ARE MADE CLEAR UP FRONT?  IF INDUCTION AND ORIENTATION ARE DONE WELL, MANY POTENTIAL PROBLEMS WOULD NOT SURFACE AT ALL.

                                                           DEMOTIVATED EFFECTIVE

                AFTER SOME TIME THE MOTIVATION LEVEL GOES DOWN AND THE EMPLOYEES STARTS LEARNING THE TRICKS OF THE TRADE. THIS IS THE STAGE WHEN THE EMPLOYEE IS NOT MOTIVATED. HE CONTINUES DOING JUST ENOUGH SO THAT THE EMPLOYER HAS NO REASON TO FIRE HIM BUT HE IS REALLY NOT MOTIVATED.

                 THIS STAGE IS DETRIMENTAL TO GROWTH-MOST PEOPLE IN ORGANIZATIONS FALL INTO THIS THIRD STAGE. A MOTIVATED PROFESSIONAL LEARNS THE TRADE AND LEAVES THE TRICKS TO CHEATS AND CROOKS, BUT A DEMOTIVATED EMPLOYEES STARTS SABOTAGING THE COMPANY. HIS PERFORMANCE IS MARGINAL. HE MAKES FUN OF THE GOOD PERFORMANCE IS MARGINAL. HE MAKES FUN OF THE GOOD PERFORMERS. HE REJECTS NEW IDEAS AND SPREADS THE NEGATIVITY ALL AROUND.

               OUR OBJECTIVES IS TO BRING THEM BACK TO THE SECOND STAGE OF MOTIVATED EFFECTIVE THROUGH TRAINING. AN EMPLOYEE OUGHT NOT TO SAY IN THE THIRD STAGE TOO LONG, BECAUSE FROM HERE EITHER MAY MOVE BACK TO THE SECOND STAGE, WHICH IS BEING MOTIVATED AND EFFECTIVE, OR THEY MOVE INTO THE FOURTH STAGE.

                                                        DEMOTIVATED INEFFECTIVE

                    AT THIS STAGE, THE EMPLOYER DOES NOT HAVE MUCH CHOICE BUT TO FIRE THE EMPLOYEE, WHICH MAY BE THE MOST APPROPRIATE THING TO DO ANYWAY AT THIS POINT.

                 REMEMBER EMPLOYEES WANT THE SAME THING AS EMPLOYEES DO. THEY WANT TO SUCCEED AND IMPROVE BUSINESS, AND IF EMPLOYEES HELP IN THIS OBJECTIVE, THEN THEY MAKE THEMSELVES VALUABLE AND ACHIEVE THEIR WON SUCCESS.

                                                      DEMOTIVATING FACTORS

                      WHY DO PEOPLE MOVE FROM INITIALLY MOTIVATED STAGE TO DEMOTIVATED? SOME OF THE DEMOTIVATING FACTORS ARE:

                  

                                 👀 UNFAIR CRITICISM

                                 👀 NEGATIVE CRITICISM

                                 👀 PUBLIC HUMILIATION

                                 👀 REWARDING THE NON-PERFORMERS(WHICH CAN BE                                                                     DEMOTIVATING FOR THE PERFORMERS)

                                 👀 FAILURE OR FEAR OF FAILURE

                                 👀 SUCCESS (WHICH LEADS TO COMPLACENCE)

                                 👀 LACK OF DIRECTION

                                 👀 LACK OF MEASURABLE OBJECTIVES

                                 👀 LOW SELF-ESTEEM

                                 👀 LACK OF PRIORITIES

                                 👀 NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

                                 👀 OFFICE POLITICS

                                 👀 UNFAIR POLITICS

                                 👀 UNFAIR TREATMENT

                                 👀 HYPOCRISY

                                 👀 POOR STANDARDS

                                 👀 FREQUENT CHANGE

                                 👀 RESPONSIBILITY WITHOUT AUTHORITY

                             A SATISFIED PERSON IS NOT NECESSARILY A MOTIVATED PERSON. SOME PEOPLE ARE SATISFIED WITH VERY LITTLE. IN THIS CASE, SATISFACTION MAY LEAD TO COMPLACENCE. MOTIVATION COMES FROM EXCITEMENT AND EXCITEMENT DOES NOT COME UNLES THERE IS FULL COMMITMENT.

                                  NEW METHODS OF MOTIVATION WILL NOT WORK TILL THE DEMOTIVATING FACTORS ARE REMOVED. MANY TIMES, JUST REMOVING THE DEMOTIVATING FACTORS CAN SPARK MOTIVATION.

                                                                        ❤❤❤❤❤

                       

 

GIVE APPRECIATION

                                               GIVE HONEST APPRECIATION

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              THE PSYCHOLOGIST WILLIAM JAMES SAID, ONE OF THE DEEPEST DESIRES OF HUMAN BEINGS IS THE DESIRE TO BE APPRECIATED. THE FEELING OF BEING UNWANTED IS HURTFUL. 

              EXPENSIVE JEWELS ARE NOT REAL GIFT THEY ARE APOLOGIES FOR SHRTCOMINGS. MANY TIMES WE BUY GIFTS FOR PEOPLE TO COMPENSATE FOR NOT SPEDING ENOUGH TIME WITH THEM. REAL GIFTS ARE WHEN YOU GIVE A PART OF YOURLSELF.

               SINCERE APPRECIATION IS ONE OF THE GREATEST GIFTS ONE CAN GIVE TO ANOTHER PERSON. IT MAKES A PERSON FEEL IMPORTANT. THE DESIRE TO FEEL IMPORTANT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST CRAVINGS IN MOST HUMAN BEINGS. IT CAN BE A GREAT MOTIVATOR.

THE TRUST RELATIONSHIPS

                                                                         TRUST 

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                   ALL RELATIONSHIP ARE TRUST RELATIONSHIPS. RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN EMPLOYER AND EMPLOYEE, PARENT AND CHILD, HUSBAND AND WIFE, STUDENT AND TEACHER, BUYER AND SELLLER, AND CUSTOMER AND SALESPERSON ARE ALL TRUST RELATIONSHIPS. HOW CAN WE HAVE TRUS WITHOUT INTEGRITY? CRISIS IN TRUST REALLY MEANS CRISIS IN TRUTH. TRUST RESULTS FROM BEING TRUSTWORTHY.

                WHAT ARE THE FACTORS THAT BUILD TRUST?

             👀 RELIABILITY - GIVES PREDICTABILITY AND COMES FROM COMMITMENT.

             👀 CONSISTENCY- BUILDS CONFIDENCE.

             👀 RESPECT - TO SELF AND OTHERS GIVES DIGNITY AND SHOWS A CARING ATTITUDE.

             👀 FAIRNESS - APPEALS TO JUSTICE AND INTEGRITY.

             👀 OPENNESS - SHOWS A WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN AND SHARE YOUR VIEWS.

            👀 CONGRUENCE - ACTION AND WORDS HARMONIZE. IF A PERSON SAYS ONE THING AND BEHAVES DIFFERENTLY, HOW CAN YOU TRUST THAT PERSON?

           👀 COMPETENCE - COMES WHEN A PERSON HAS THE ABILITY AND THE ATTITUDE TO SERVE.

           👀 INTEGRITY - INSPITE OF OUR EFFORT TO IMPROVE WE NEED TO ACCEPT EACH OTHER WITH OUR PLUSES AND MINUSES.

           👀 CHARACTER - A PERSON MAY HAVE ALL THE COMPETENCE BUT IF HE LACKS CHARACTER HE CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

            👀 COURAGE - A PERSON WHO LACKS COURAGE WILL LET YOU DOWN IN A CRISIS.

                       TRUST IS MANY WAYS IS A MUCH GREATER COMPLIMENT THAN LOVE. THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WE LOVE BUT WE CAN'T TRUST THEM. RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE BANK ACCOUNTS. THE MORE WE DEPOSIT, THE LARGER THEY BECOME, THEREFORE, THE MORE WE CAN DRAW FROM THEM. HOWEVER, IF YOU TRY TO DRAW WITHOUT DEPOSITING, IT LEADS TO DISAPPOINTMENT. 

                     MANY TIMES WE FEEL WE ARE OVERDRAWN BUT, IN REALITY, WE MAY BE UNDER-DEPOSITED.

                      BELOW ARE SOME OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF POOR RELATIONSHIPS AND THE LACK OF TRUST.

                    👀 STRESS                                                           👀 POOR HEALTH

                   👀 LACK OF COMMUNICATION                     👀 DISTRUST

                   👀 IRRITATION                                                    👀 ANGER

                   👀 CLOSEMINDEDNESS                                   👀 PREJUDICE

                   👀 NO TEAM SPIRIT                                          👀 BREAKDOWN OF MORALE

                   👀 LACK OF CREDIBILITY                              👀 UNCOOPERATIVE BEHAVIOR

                   👀 POOR SELF-ESTEEM                                   👀 CONFLICT

                   👀 SUSPICION                                                    👀 FRUSTRATION

                   👀 LOSS OF PRODUCTIVITY                           👀 UNHAPPINESS

                   👀 ISOLATION 

                                  YOUR CONSCIOUS AND SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

             THE CONSCIOUS MIND HAS THE ABILITY TO THINK. IT CAN ACCEPT OR REJECT. BUT THE SUBCONSCIOUS ONLY ACCEPTS. IT MAKES NO DISTINCTION REGARDING INPUT. IF WE FEED OUR MIND WITH THOUGHTS OF FEAR, DOUBT AND HATE, THE AUTO-SUGGESTIONS WILL ACTIVATE AND TRANSLATE THOSE THINGS INTO REALITY. THE SUBCONSCIOUS IS LIKE A DATABANK. THE SUBCONSCIOUS IS LIKE THE AUTOMOBILE WHILE THE CONSCIOUS IS LIKE THE DRIVER. OF THE TWO, THE SUBCONSCIOUS IS MOR POWERFUL. THE POWER IS IN THE AUTOMOBILE BUT THE CONTROL IS WITH THE DRIVER. 

               THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND CAN WORK FOR US OR AGAINST US. IT IS NOT RATIONAL. IF WE ARE NOT SUCCESSFUL, WE NEED TO REPROGRAM THE SUBCONSCIOUS.

                 THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND IS LIKE A GARDEN, IT DOESN'T CARE WHAT WE PLANT. IT IS NEUTRAL, IT HAS NO PREFERENCES. IF WE PLANT GOOD SEEDS, WE WILL HAVE A GOOD GARDEN, OTHERWISE, WE WILL HAVE A WILD GROWTH OF WEEDS, I'D GO A STEP FURTHER TO SAY, EVEN WHEN WE PLANT GOOD SEEDS, WEEDS STILL GROW AND THE WEDDING PROCESS MUST CONTINUE CONSTANTLY.

                    THE HUMAN MIND IS NO DIFFERENT. POSITIVE AND NEGATIVVE THOUGHTS CAN'T OCCUPY THE MIND SIMULTANEOUSLY.

                    IN ORDER TO SUCCEED, WE NEED TO GET PROGRAMMED IN A POSITIVE WAY.

                                                   RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

                  WHEN PEOPLE RECOGNIZE OR BECOME AWARE OF THEIR NEGATIVE HABITS, WHY DON'T THEY CHANGE?

                   THE REASON THEY DON'T CHANGE IS BECAUSE THE REFUSE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY. THE PLEASURE OF CONTINUING IS GREATER THAN THE PAIN. THEY MAY:

                   👀 LACK THE DESIRE TO CHANGE

                   👀LACK THE DISCIPLINE TO CHANGE

                   👀 LACK THE BELIEF THAT THEY CAN CHANGE

                   👀 LACK THE AWARENESS FOR THE NEED TO CHANGE

                                   

                  ALL OF THESE FACTORS PREVENT US FROM GETTING RID OF OUR NEGATIVE HABITS. WE ALL HAVE A CHOICE. WE CAN IGNORE NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR AND HOPE IT WILL GO AWAY- THE OSTRICH APPROACH - OR FACE UP TO IT AND OVERCOM IT FOR LIFE. BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION COMES FORM OVERCOMING IRRIATIONAL FEARS AND GETTING OUT OF THE CONFORT ZONE. REMEMBER, FEARS AND GETTING OUT OF THE CONFORT ZONE. REMEMBER, FEAR IS A LEARNED BEHAVIOR AND CAN BE UNLEARNED. 

             THE FOLLOWING EXCUSES ARE THE MOST COMMON EXPLANATIONS FOR NOT CHANGING NEGATIVE HABITS.

             1. I HAVE ALWAYS DONE IT THAT WAY.

             2. I HAVE NEVER DONE IT THAT WAY.

             3. THAT IS NO NOT MY JOB.

            4. I DON'T THINK IT WILL MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

            5. I'M TOO BUSY.

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TEACH YOUR CHILDRENS TO THIS HABITS

                                         CHILDRENS WITH GOOD HABITS

                ❤ TEACH HIM TO PUT A PRICE TAG ON EVERYTHING AND HE WILL PUT HIS INTEGRITY FOR SALE.

                ❤ TEACH HIM NEVER TO TAKE A STAND AND THEN HE WILL FALL OR ANYTHING.

                ❤ MAKE HIM BELIEVE THAT WINNING IS NOT EVERYTHING, THAT IT IS THE ONLY THING AND HE WILL MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO WIN BY HOOK OR BY CROOK.

                ❤ GIVE A CHILD EVERYTHING HE WANTS RIGHT FROM INFANCY AND HE WILL GROW UP BELIEVING THAT THE WORLD OWES HIM A LIVING AND EVERYTHING WILL BE HANDED TO HIM ON A PLATTER.

                ❤ WHEN HE PICKS UP BAD LANGUAGE, LAUGH AT HIM. THIS WILL MAKE HIM THINK HE IS CUTE.

                ❤ DON'T EVER GIVE HIM ANY MORAL OR ETHICAL VALUES. WAIT UNTIL HE IS 21 AND LET HIM DETERMINE HIS OWN.

               ❤ GIVE HIM CHOICES HAS A CONSEQUENCE.

              ❤ NEVER TELL HIM HE IS WRONG HE MIGHT DEVELOP A COMPLEX. THIS WILL CONDITION HIM TO BELIEVE THAT SOCIETY IS AGAINST HIM WHEN HE GETS ARRESTED FOR DOING SOMETHING WRONG.

             ❤ ALWAYS PICK UP THINGS THAT HE LEAVES LYING AROUND - BOOKS, SHOES, CLOTHES, AND SO ON. DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM SO THAT HE WILL LEARN TO PUSH ALL RESPONSIBILITIES ONTO OTHERS.

            ❤ LET HIM READ, WATCH AND HEAR ANYTHIG HE WANTS, BE CAREFUL WHAT HE FEEDS HIS BODY, BUT LET HIS MIND FEED ON GARBAGE.

            ❤ IN ORDER TO BE POPULAR WITH HIS PEERS, HE MUST GO ALONG TO GET ALONG.

            ❤ QUARREL FREQUENTLY WHEN HE IS PRESENT. THIS WAY HE WON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN THINGS FALL APART AT HOME.

           ❤ GIVE HIM AS MUCH MONEY AS HE WANTS. NEVER TEACH HIM RESPECT FOR THE VALUE OF MONEY. MAKE SURE HE DOES HAVE THINGS AS TOUGH AS YOU DID.

          ❤ PROVIDE INSTANT GRATIFICATION FOR ALL SENSUAL DESIRES SUCH AS FOOD, DRINK AND COMFORT. DEPRIVATION CAN CAUSE FRUSTRATION.

          ❤ SIDE WITH HIM AGAINST NEIGHBORS AND TEACHERS, AS THEY ARE PREJUDICED AGAINST HIM.

          ❤ WHEN HE GETS INTO REAL TROUBLE, EXCUSE YOURSELF BY SAYING, I TRIED MY BEST BUT COULD NEVER DO ANYTHING WITH HIM.

          ❤ DON'T PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE DISCIPLINE TAKES AWAY FREEDOM.

                                            CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH CRITICISM, HE LEARNS TO CONDEMN.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH PRAISE, HE LEARNS TO APPRECIATE.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH HOSTILITY, HE LEARNS TO FIGHT.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH TOLERANCE, HE LEARNS TO BE PATIENT.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH RIDICULE, HE LEARNS TO BE SHY.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ENCOURAGEMENT, HE LEARN CONFIDENCE.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SHAME, HE LEARNS TO FEEL GUILTY.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH APPROVAL, HE LEARNS TO LIKE HIMSELF.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SECURITY, HE LEARNS TO HAVE FAITH.

                   IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ACCEPTANCE AND FRIENDSHIP,

                  HE LEARNS TO FIND LOVE IN THE WORLD.

                                    WHAT CHILDREN GET, THEY GIVE TO SOCIETY.

                                                                             ❤

                                                 BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE

 

               A YOUNG COUPLE USED TO LEAVE THEIR DAUGHTER AT A DAYCARE CENTER EVERY DAY BEFORE GOING TO WORK. AS THEY PARTED COMPANY, THE PARENTS AND CHILD KISSED EACH OTHER'S HAND AND THEN PUT THE KISSES IN THEIR POCKETS. ALL DURING THE DAY WHEN THE LITTLE GIRL GOT LONELY SHE WOULD TAKE OUT A KISS AND PUT IT ON HER CHEEK. THIS LITTLE ROUTINE MADE THEM FEEL TOGETHER EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE PHYSICALLY APART. WHAT A WONDERFUL THOUGHT.

                                                                   EDUCATION

                 BEING IGNORANT IS NOT SHAMEFUL, BUT BEING UNWILLING TO LEARN IS. ROLE MODELS CAN TEACH THROUGH EXAMPLE. CHILDREN WHO ARE TAUGHT THE IMPORTANT OF INTEGRITY DURING THEIR FORMATIVE YEARS GENERALLY DON'T LOSE IT. IT BECOMES A PART OF LIFE, WHICH IS WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR IN ANY PROFESSIONAL, WHETHER A CONTRACTOR, ATTORNEY, ACCOUNTANT, POLITICIAN, POLICE OFFICER OR JUDGE, INTEGRITY IS A LOT STRONGER THAN HONESTY. IN FACT IT IS THE FOUNDATION OS HONESTY.

              YOUTH ARE IMPRESSIONABLE, WHEN THEY SEE THEIR MENTORS - SUCH AS PARENTS, TEACHERS OR POLITICAL DISHONESTY SUCH AS STEALING A TOWEL IN A HOTEL OR CUTLEY FROM THE RESTAURANTS, THE FOLLOWING HAPPENS.

               👀THEY ARE DISAPPOINTED.

              👀 THEY LOSE RESPECT FOR THEIR MENTORS.

              👀 CONSTANT EXPOSURE BREEDS ACCEPTANCE IN THEM. 

                                                                     👀👀👀👀👀

ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY

                                  RESPONSIBILITY GIVES YOU PROMOTION

                                               

             RESPONSIBILITIES GRAVITATE TO THE PERSON WHO CAN SHOULDER THEM.

                  WHEN PEOPLE ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY THEY ARE ACTUALLY GIVING THEMSELVES A PROMOTION. 

                   RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR IS TO ACCEPT ACCOUNTABILITY. THAT REPRESENTS MATURITY. ACCEPTANCE OF RESPONSIBILITY IS A REFLECTION OF OUR ATTITUDE AND THE ENVIRONENMENT WE OPERATE IN. MOST PEOPLE ARE QUICK TO TAKE CREDIT FOR WHAT GOES RIGHT BUT VERY FEW WOULD READILY ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY WHEN THINGS GO WRONG. A PERSON WHO DOES NOT ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY IS NOT ABSOLVED FROM BEING RESPONSIBLE. YOUR OBJECTIVE IS TO CULTIVATE RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR.

          STOP THE BLAME GAME

         AVOID PHRASES SUCH AS :

       👀 EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT

       👀  OR NO ONE DOES IT, OR

       👀  IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

                      PEOPLE WHO DON'T ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY SHIFT THE BLAME TO THEIR PARENTS, TEACHERS AND GENES. GOD, FATE, LUCK OR THE STARS. RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR SHOULD BE INCULCATED CERTAIN DEGREE OF OBEDIENCE.

                    JOHNNY SAID, MAMA, JIMMY BROKE THE WINDOW, MAMA ASKED, HOW DID DO IT? JOHNNY REPLIED, I THREW A STONE AT HIM AND HE DUCKED.

                   PEOPLE WHO USE THEIR PRIVILEGES WITHOUT ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY USUALLY END UP LOSING THEIR PRIVILEGES. RESPONSIBLE INVOLVES THOUGHFUL ACTION.

                 PETTINESS CAUSES IGNORE OUR RESPONSIBILITIES

                         THINK ABOUT IT. PETTY MINDS ARE BUSY PASSING THE BUCK RATHER THAN DOING WHAT NEED TO BE DONE.

               

                                              SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

                         ANCIENT INDIAN WISDOM TEACHESUS THAT OUR FIRST RESPONSIBILITY IS TO THE COMMUNITY, SECOND TO OUR FAMILY, AND THIRD TO OURSELVES. WHEN THIS HIERARCHY IS REVERSED, A SOCIETY STARTS DEGENERATING. SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY OUGHT TO BE THE MORAL OBLIGATION OF EVERY CITIZEN. RESPONSIBILITY AND FREEDOM GO HAND IN HAND. A SIGN OF A GOOD CITIZEN IS THAT HE IS WILLING TO PULL HIS OWN WEIGHT.

                                THE PRICE OF GREATNESS IS RESPONSIBILITY.

                   SOCIETIES ARE NOT DESTROYED SO MUCH BY THE ACTIVITIES OF RASCALS BUT BY THE INACTIVITY OF THE GOOD PEOPLE. WHAT A PARADOX! IF GOOD PEOPLE CAN TOLERANT DESTRUCTION BY BEING INACTIVE, HOW CAN THEY BE GOOD? THE QUESTION IS, ARE THEY DISCHARGING THEIR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY?

                       FOR EVIL TO FLOURISH, GOOD PEOPLE HAVE TO DO NOTHING AND                                   EVIL SHALL FLOURISH.

                             

                                          CHOOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULL

                     A PERSON WHO SAYS WHAT EVER HE LIKES USUALLY ENDS UP HEARING WHAT HE DOESN'T LIKE. BE TACTFUL. TACT CONSISTS OF CHOOSING ONE'S WORDS CAREFULLY AND KNOWING HOW FAR TO GO. IT ALSO MEANS KNOWING WHAT TO SAY AND WHAT TO LEAVE UNSAID. TALENT WITHOUT TACT MAY NOT ALWAYS BE DESIRABLE. WORDS REFLECT ATTITUDE. WORDS CAN HURT FEELINGS AND DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS. MORE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN HURT BY AM IMPROPER CHOICE OF WORDS THAN BY ANY NATURAL DESASTER. CHOOSE WHAT YOU SAY RATHER THAN SAY WHAT YOU CHOOSE. THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WISDOM AND FOOLISHNESS. 

                  EXECESSIVE TALKING DOES NOT MEAN COMMUNICATION. TALK LESS, SAY MORE.

               A FOOL SPEAKS WITHOUT THINKING, A WISE MAN THINKS BEFORE SPEAKING.

               WORDS SPOKEN OUT OF BITTERNESS CAN CAUSE IRREPARABLE DAMAGE. THE WAY PARENTS SPEAK TO THEIR CHILDREN IN MANY INSTANCES SHAPES THEIR CHILDREN'S DESTINY.

                                                         ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY

                    WE  NEED TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR BEHAVIOR AND OUR ACTIONS AND INSULATE OURSELVES FROM EXCUSES. DON'T BE LIKE THE STUDENT WHO FAILED JUST BECAUSE HE DIDN'T LIKE THE TEACHER  OR THE SUBJECT. WHO IS HE HURTING THE MOST? WE  HAVE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY AND STOP BLAMING OTHERS. THEN, AND ONL THEN, WILL PRODUCTIVITY AND QUALITY OF LIFE IMPROVE.

                 OUR PRIVILEGES CAN BE NO GREATER THAN OUR OBLIGATIONS. THE PROTECTION OF OUR RIGHTS CAN ENDURE NO LONGER THAN THE PERFORMANCE OF OUR RESPONSIBILITIES.

                    EXCUSES MAKE THE PROBLEM WORSE THAN THE PROBLEM ITSELF.

                 WE OWE RESPONSIBILITY

                ❤ TO SELF

                ❤ TO FAMILY

                ❤ TO WORK

                ❤ TO SOCIETY

                ❤ TO THE ENVIRONMENT

                 WE CAN ADD TO THE GREENERY BY PLANTING TREES, STOPPING SOIL EROSION AND PRESENTING NATURAL BEAUTY.

                WE CANNOT LIVE AS IF WE HAVE ANOTHER EARTH WE CAN MOVE ON. ON A DAILY BASIS, WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE. WE ARE CUSTODIANS FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS. IF WE DO NOT BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY, HOW CAN FUTURE GENERATIONS FORGIVE US?

                IF THE AVERAGE LIFE EXPECTANCY OF A PERSON IS 75 YEARS AND IF YOU ARE 40 YEARS OLD, YOU HAVE 365 DAYS * 35 YEARS, TO LIVE. ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THIS TIME? WHEN WE ACCEPT OR ADD RESPONSIBILITY, WE MAKE OURSELVES MORE VALUABLE.

                                                           ❤   ❤   ❤   ❤   ❤

BE GRATEFUL BUT DO NOT EXPECT GRATITUDE

                                              GRATEFUL AND GRATITUDE

                                                                         ❤

                                                                                    ❤

               GRATITUDE IS A BEAUTIFUL WORD. GRATITUDE IS A FEELING. IT IMPROVES OUR PERSONALITY AND BUILDS CHARACTER. GRATITUDE DEVELOPS OUT OF HUMILITY. IT IS A FEELING OF THANKFULNESS TOWARDS OTHERS. IT IS CONVEYED THROUGH OUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS OTHERS AND REFLECTS IN OUR BEHAVIOR. GRATITUDE DOES NOT MEAN RECIPROCATING GOOD DEEDS GRATITUDE IS NOT GIVE AND TAKE. KINDNESS, UNDERSTANDING AND PATIENCE CANNOT BE REPAID. WHAT DOES GRATITUDE TEACH US? IT TEACHES US THE ART OF COOPERATION AND UNDERSTANDING. GRATITUDE MUST BE SINCERE. A SIMPLE THAN YOU CAN BE GRACIOUS. MANY TIMES WE FORGET TO BE THANKFUL TO THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO US, SUCH AS OUR SPOUSE, OUR RELATIVES, OUR FRIENDS. GRATITUDE WOULD RANK AMONG THE TOP QUALITIES THAT FORM THE CHARACTER AND PERSONALITY OF AN INDIVIDUAL WITH INTREGRITY. EGO STANDS IN THE WAY OF SHOWING GRATITUDE. A GRACIOUS ATTITUDE CHANGES OUR OUTLOOK IN LIFE. WITH GRATITUDE AND HUMALITY, RIGHT ACTIONS COME NATURALLY.

               GRATITUDE OUGHT TO BE A WAY OF LIFE, SOMETHING THAT WE CANNOT GIVE ENOUGH OF. IT CAN MEAN A SMILE, OR A THANK YOU, OR GESTURE OF APPRECIATION.

              THINK OF YOUR MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSIONS. WHAT MAKES THEM SPECIAL? IN MOST CASES, THE GIFT IS LESS SIGNIFICANT THAN THE GIVER. SELDOM ARE WE GRATEFUL FOR THE THINGS WE ALREADY POSSESS.

                THINK BACK AND TRY TO RECALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAD A POSITIVE INFLUENCE ON YOUR LIFE. YOUR PARENTS, TEACHERS, ANYONE WHO SPENT EXTRA TIME TO HELP YOU. PERHAPS IT APPEARS THAT THEY JUST DID THEIR JOB. NOT REALLY. THEY WILLINGLY SACRIFICED THEIR TIME, EFFORT, MONEY AND MANY OTHER THINGS FOR YOU. THEY DID IT OUT OF LOVE AND NOT FOR YOUR THANKFULNESS. AT SOME POINT, A PERSON REALIZE THE EFFORT THAT WENT IN TO HELP THEM SHAPE THEIR FUTURE. PERHAPS IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO THANK THEM.

                                                         THE STORYOF CHRIST

                         AS THE STORY GOES, CHRIST HEALED TEN LEPERS AND WHEN HE TURNED BACK THEY WERE ALL GONE EXCEPT ONE WHO HAD THE COURTESY TO THANK HIM. CHRIST SAID, I DIDN'T  DO A THING, WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY?

                    1. HUMAN BEINGS ARE UNGRATEFUL.

                    2. A GRATEFUL PERSON IS THE EXCEPTIONAL PERSON.

                    3. CHRIST LITERALLY GAVE THEM A NEW LIFE AND SAID, I DIDN'T DO A                              THING.

                    4. LIKE CHRIST WE SHOULD NOT EXPECT GRATITUDE.

         

                  HOW DOES THIS TRANSLATE IN OUR BAHAVIOR AND PERSONALITY? WE FEED OR GIVE SHELTER TO SOMEONE FOR A FEW DAYS AND SAY, LOOK WHAT I DID FOR THE OTHER PERSON, IT IS NOT UNCOMMON TO HEAR PEOPLE SAYING, IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, THIS PERSON WOULD BE ON THE STREET, WHAT AN EGO!

                                                                      BY THE WAY

                    WHEN PEOPLE ASK OTHERS TO DO SOMETHING FOR THEM BY USING THE PHRASE, BY THE WAY, CAN YOU DO THIS FOR ME? THEY UNDERMINE THE IMPORTANCE OF DOING OR NOT DOING. I HAVE FOUND THAT IF WE HAVE DO TO ANYTHING FOR ANYONE IT IS NEVER BY THE WAY, IT IS ALWAYS OUT OF THE WAY.

                  THIS DOES NOT AMOUNT TO DOING FAVORS FROM THE DOER'S PERSCEPTIVE. IF ONE DOESN'T DO THINGS THAT CAN BE DONE TO HELP ANOTHER PERSON, THEN IT SAD. BUT I AM CONVINCED  THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BY THE WAY, IT IS ALWAYS OUT OF THE WAY, AND IT IS WORTH IT.

 

                                                STEPS TO OPENING A DISCUSSION

         1. BE OPEN-MINDED.

         2. DON'T BE DRAGGED INTO AN ARGUMENT.

         3. DON'T INTERRUPT.

         4. LISTEN TO THE OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW BEFORE GIVING YOUR                      OWN.

         5. ASK QUESTIONS TO CLARIFY. THAT WILL ALSO SET THE OTHER PERSON                         THINKING.

         6. DON'T EXAGGERATE.

         7. BE THUSIASTIC IN CONVINCING, NOT FORCEFUL.

         8. BE WILLING TO YIELD.

         9. BE FLEXIBLE ON PETTY THINGS BUT NOT ON PRINCIPLES.

        10. DON'T MAKE IT A PRESTIGE ISSUE.

        11. GIVE YOUR OPPONENT A GRACEFUL WAY TO WITHDRAW WITHOUT                                  HURTING HIS PRIDE. REJECTION CAN BE HURTFUL.

        12. USE SOFT WORDS BUT HARD ARGUMENTS RATHER THAN HARD WORDS                          AND SOFT ARGUMENTS.

                 IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DEFEAT AN IGNORANT MAN IN AN ARGUMENT. HIS STRONG AND BITTE WORDS ONLY WORDS ONLY INDICATE A WEAK CAUSE.

                            

                   AN OPEN EAR IS THE ONLY BELIEVABLE SIGN OF AN OPEN HEART.

                                        ❤ IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD LISTENER:❤

 

           ❤ ENCOURAGE THE SPEAKER TO TALK.  

           ❤ ASK QUESTIONS. IT SHOWS INTEREST.

           ❤ DON'T INTERRUPT.

           ❤ DON'T CHANGE THE TOPIC.

           ❤ SHOW UNDERSTANDING AND RESPECT.

           ❤ PAY ATTENTION, CONCENTRATE.

           ❤ AVOID DISTRACTIONS.

           ❤ SHOW EMPATHY.

           ❤ BE OPEN-MINDED. DON'T LET PRECONCEIVED IDEAS AND PREJUDICES PREVENT YOU FROM LISTENING.

           ❤ CONCENTRATE ON THE MESSAGES AND NOT ON THE DELIVERY.

           ❤ RECOGNIZE THE NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION, SUCH AS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, EYE CONTACT, ETC. THEY MIGHT BE COMMUNICATING A DIFFERENT MESSAGE FROM THE VERBAL.

           ❤ LISTEN TO FEELINGS AND NOT JUST WORDS.

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