ABOUT MARRIAGE LIFE

 

                         THE KEY TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

                   PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS COMPATIBILITY. THE TWO PEOPLE ARE IDEALLY BALANCED WITH EACH OTHERS, WITH EACH ONE POSSESSING COMLPLEMENTARY QUALITIES AND CHARACTERISTICS THAT COMBINE COMFORTABLY TO FORM A PERFECT BALANCE.

                  PEOPLE OFTEN SAY THAT "OPPOSITE ATTRACT". THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING. OPPOSITES ATTRACT IN ONLY ONE AREA, AND THAT IS TEMPERAMENT. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MOST COMPATIBLE WITH A PERSON WHO HAS AN OPPOSITE OR COUNTERBALANCING TEMPERAMENT TO YOUR OWN.

                       FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU ARE OUTGOING AND EXTROVERTED, YOU WILL BE MOST COMPATIBLE WITH A PERSON WHO IS MORE RESERVERD AND SELF-CONTAINED. IF YOU ARE VOLUBLE AND EXPRESSIVE, YOU WILL BE MOST COMPATIBLE WITH A PERSON WHO IS RELAXED AND GOOD LISTENER. NATURE DEMANDS A BALANCE IN TEMPERAMENT FOR TWO PEOPLE TO BE COMPATIBLE AND HAPPY TOGETHER.

                                                     BIRDS OF A FEATHER

                 IN ALL OTHER AREAS, ESPECIALLY IN THE AREA OF VALUES, IT IS SIMILARITIES THAT ATTRACT. BIRDS OF A FEATHER, DO FLOCK TOGETHER. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE AND MOST COMPATIBLE WITH THOSE WHO HAVE THE GREATER NUMBER OF FUNDAMENTAL VALUES IN COMMON WITH YOURSELF.

                ALL OF LOVE, OF ANY KIND, IS A RESPONSE TO VALUE. WE LOVE WHAT WE MOST VALUE, REGARDING, THEY SEEM TO HAVE VERY MUCH THE SAME VALUES REGARDING FAMILY, MONEY, ETHICS, WORK, CHILDREN, POLITICS, RELIGION, AND PEOPLE.

             PEOPLE WILL OFTEN POINT OUT THAT THERE ARE HAPPY COUPLES WHO VOTE FOR DIFFERENT PARTIES OR COME FROM DIFFERENT RELIGIOUS BACKGROUNDS. BUT THE CRITICAL ISSUE IN BALANCE AND HARMONY REVOLVES AROUND THE UNTENSITY WITH WHICH A PERSON VALUES SOMETHING. THIS INTENSITY DETERMINES IF A PERSON VALUES SOMETHING. THIS INTENSITY DETERMINES IF A PERSON IS ABSOLUTE AND UNBENDING OR RELAXED AND FLEXIBLE IN HIS OR HER ADHERENCE TO A PARTICULAR BELIEF ABOUT A PARTICULAR PART OF LIFE.

               PEOPLE CAN LOVE AND LIVE TOGETHER HAPPILY FOR MANY YEARS EVEN THOUGH THEY SUPPORT DIFFERENT POLITICAL PARTIES, AS LONG AS POLITICAL BELIEF IS NOT SO IMPORTANT TO EITHER OF THEM THAT IT TAKES PRECEDENCE OVER MORE IMPORTANT ELEMENTS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP SUCH AS CHILDREN, FAMILY, AND VALUES.

                                   LOVE IS OUR GREATEST NEED IN LIFE

                IT IS SAID THAT "EVERYTHING WE DO IN LIFE IS EITHER TO GET LOVE, OR TO COMPENSATE FOR A LACK OF LOVE". PSYCHOLOGISTS GENERALLY AGREE THAT THE ROOT CAUSE OF PERSONALITY PROBLEMS IN ADULT LIFE CAN BE TRACED BACK TO "LOVE WITHHELD" IN INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD.

                PEOPLE NEED LOVE LIKE ROSES NEED RAIN. WITHOUT SUFFICIENT LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE, INDIVIDUALS EXHIBIT ALL KINDS OF PERSONALITY AND PHYSICAL PROBLEMS. IT IS ONLY POSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY WHEN YOUR NEEDS FOR LOVE ARE COMPLETELY FULFILLED.

                 A HAPPY MARRIAGE REQUIRES TREMENDOUS SELF-DISCIPLINE AND SELF-CONTROL. LOVE REQUIRES SELF-DENIAL AND SACRIFICE. WHEN YOU ARE TRULY IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER PERSON, THAT PERSON'S HAPPINESA AND WELL-BEING BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAT YOUR OWN. YOU ARE WILLING TO PAY WHATEVER PRICE AND MAKE WHATEVER SACRIFICE IN ORDER TO ENSURE THE WELL-BEING OF THE PERSON YOU LOVE.

                 IN THE CHRISTIAN BIBLE IN A LETTER TO THE CORINTHIANS,THE APOSTLE PAUL SAYS, "LOVE SUFFERETH LONG, AND IS KIND, LOVE ENVIETH NOT, LOVE AVENGETH NOT ITSELF, IS NOT PUFFED UP.

                " LOVE DOTH NOT BEHAVE ITSELF UNSEEMLY, SEEKETH NOT HIS OWN, IS NOT EASILY PROVOKED, THINKETH NO EVIL.

                   LOVE REJOICES NOT IN INIQUITY, BUT REJOICES IN THE TRUTH, 

                    LOVE BEARETH ALL THINGS, BELIEVETH ALL THINGS, HOPETH ALL THINGS, ENDURETH ALL THINGS. LOVE NEVER FAILS".

                                   DIFFERENT STROKES REQUIRE

                                          TOLERANCE AND UNDERSTANDING

                      EACH PERSON IS AN INDIVIDUAL, WITH UNIQUE AND SPECIAL CHARACTERISTICS THAT MAKE HIM OR HER DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHER PEOPLE. EACH PERSON HAS DIFFERENT IDEAS, TASTES, DESIRES, HOPES, DREAMS, AND EXPECTATIONS. EACH PERSON HAS HAD DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES AND DEVELOPED DIFFERENT WAYS OF SEEING AND DEALING WITH THE WORLD AROUND HIM OR HER.

                    WHEN YOU COME TOGETHER WITH ANOTHER PERSON IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP, NO MATTER HOW CLOSE YOU FEEL TO EACH OTHER AND NO MATTER HOW COMPATIBLE YOU MAY BE IN MANY WAYS, YOU WILL STILL HAVE AREAS OF DIAGREEMENT, DISSATISFACTION, AND DISCONTENT. THIS IS NORMAL AND NATURAL AND SOMETHING TO BE WORKED THROUGH BY PRACTICING SELF-DISCIPLINE WHENEVER THESE DIFFERENCES OCCUR.

                  SELF-DISCIPLINE IN A RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES THAT YOU BE COMPLETELY HONEST AND OPEN, THAT YOU BE YOURSELF AND NEVER TRY TO BE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE. SELF-DISCIPLINE AND HONESTY REQUIRE THAT YOU STATE CLEARLY WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AND FEELING, WITHOUT ANGER OR IRRITATION, AND THAT YOU LISTEN CALMLY AND PATIENTLY TO THE FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, AND OPINIONS OF THE OTHER PERSON.