INGREDIENTS OF HAPPINESS

 

                       FIVE INGREDIENTS OF HAPPINESS

                   SELF-DISCIPLINE IS ESSENTIAL TO HAPPINESS. SELF-DISCIPLINE REQUIRES BOTH THAT YOU DETERMINE CLEARLY WHAT HAPPINESS MEANS TO YOU AND ALSO THAT YOU WORK PROGRESSIVELY EACH DAY TOWARD THE ACHIEVEMENT OF THAT IDEAL CONDITION.

                   IN MY EXPERIENCE AND TEACHINGS, I HAVE FOUND THAT THERE ARE FIVE INGREDIENTS TO HAPPINESS. A SHORTFALL IN ANY OF THESE AREAS CAN CAUSE STRESS, UNHAPPINESS, AND A FEELING OF BEING OUT OF CONTROL.

                                        FIVE INGREDIENTS OF HAPPINESS

                 1. HEALTH AND ENERGY : THIS IS PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT OF A GOOD LIFE. WE STRIVE FOR IT ALL OUR LIVES. IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU ENJOY HIGH LEVELS OF PAIN-FREE HEALTH AND A CONTINUOUS FLOW OF ENERGY THAT YOU FEEL TRULY HAPPY.

                    IN MANY CASES, HEALTH IS A "DEFICIENCY NEED". THIS MEANS THAT YOU DO NOT THIK ABOUT YOUR HEALTH VERY MUCH UNTIL YOU ARE DEPRIVED OF IT. FOR EXAMPLE, YOU DO NOT THINK ABOUT YOUR TEETH UNTIL YOU HAVE A TOOTHACHE. YOU DO NOT THINK ABOUT YOUR BODY UNTIL YOU HAVE ACHES OR PAINS OF SOME KIND.'

             

                  YOU MUST USE DISCIPLINE AND WILL POWER THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE TO ACHIEVE AND MAINTAIN HIGH LEVELS OF HEALTH AND FITNESS. CHAPTERS 16 AND 17 COVER THESE IN MORE DETAIL.

                 HAPPY RELTIONSHIP . FULLY 85 PERCENT OF YOUR HAPPINESS OR HAPPINESS WILL COME FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE. AS ARISTOTLE SAID, 'MAN IS A SOCIAL ANIMAL". WE ARE DESIGNED TO FUNCTION IN SOCIETY, WORKING AND LIVING WITH OTHER PEOPLE AT EVERY STAGE OF OUR LIVES.

                 YOUR ABILITY TO ENTER INTO AND MAINTAIN HIGH-QUALITY RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR SPOUSE, CHILDREN, FRIENDS, COLEAGUES, AND OTHERS IS THE TRUE MEASURE OF THE QUALITY OF YOUR PERSONALITY AND YOUR LEVEL OF MENTAL HEALTH. PEOPLE WITH HIGH LEVELS OF SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-RESPECT GET ALONG BETTER WITH OTHERS AND HAVE MUCH HAPPIER LIVES.

                ONE OF OUR BIGGEST MISTAKES IS TO TAKE OUR RELATIONSHIPS FOR GRANTED, ESPECIALLY OUR MOST IMPORTANT ONES. WE OFTEN DON'T THINK ABOUT THEM UNTIL THERE IS A PROBLEM, AND THEN WE THINK OF NOTHING ELSE.

                  3. MEANINGFUL WORK. TO BE TRULY HAPPY, YOU MUST BE FULLY ENAGAGED WITH LIFE. YOU MUST BE DOING THINGS THAT KEEP YOU ACTIVE AND GIVE YOU A SENSE OF FULFILLMENT. IF YOU ARE MAKING A LIVING, YOU MUST BE DOING WORK THAT YOU ENJOY, DO WELL, AND FOR WHICH YOU ARE WELL PAID.

                PEOPLE ARE TRULY HAPPY ONLY WHEN THEY FEEL THEY ARE MAKING A CONTRIBUTION OF SOME KIND, THAT THEY ARE PUTTING IN MORE THAN THEY ARE TAKING OUT. YOU NEED TO FEEL THAT WHAT YOU DO REALLY MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES AND WORK OF OTHER PEOPLE.

                  IN STUDIES OF EMPLOYEE MOTIVATION, EMPLOYEES THINK THAT PEOPLE ARE PRIMARILY MOTIVATED BY MONEY AND BENEFITS. BUT WHEN EMPLOYEES ARE SURVEYED, AND THREE FACTORS THAT MOTIVATE THEM THE MOST TURN OUT TO BE.

                 CHALLENGING AND INTERESTING WORK,

                 OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH AND ADVANCEMENT, AND 

                 PLEASANT COWORKERS.

               ONE OF YOUR MOST IMPORTANT RESPONSIBILITIES TO YOURSELF IS TO FIND THE RIGHT JOB FOR YOU, AND THEN, ONCE YOU HAVE IT, THROW YOUR WHOLE HEART INTO IT. IF FOR ANY REASON, YOU DO NOT FEEL LIKE PUTTING YOUR WHOLE HEART INTO YOUR WORK, IT MAY BE LACKING ONE OR MORE OF THE THREE ESSENTIALS TO A POSITIVE WORKPLACE. IT MAY BE A SIGN THAT THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR YOU.

              FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE . SOME OF THE GREATEST FEARS WE EXPERIENCE ARE THOSE OF LOSS, FAILURE, AND POVERTY. WE FEAR BEING DESTITUTE, WITHOUT FUNDS, AND DEPENDENT ON OTHERS.

                ONE OF YOUR CHIEF RESPONSIBILITIES TO YOURSELF FREEDOM THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE. THE HAPPIEST OF ALL PEOPLE ARE THOSE WHO HAVED REACHED THE POINT AT WHICH THEY NO LONGER WORRY ABOUT MONEY. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN LEAVE TO CHANCE, BUT RATHER SOMETHING THAT REQUIRES DELIBERATE, PURPOSEFUL ACTION AND TREMENDOUS SELF-DISCIPLINE TO ACHIEVE.

               WHENEVER YOU FEEL THAT THERE IS A BIG GAP BETWEEN WHERE YOU ARE TODAY FINANCIALLY AND WHERE YOU WOULD IDEALLY LIKE TO BE, YOU EXPERIENCES STRESS, WORRY, AND UNHAPPINESS .

                  5. SELF-ACTUALIZATION . THIS IS THE FEELING THAT YOU ARE BECOMING EVERYTHING YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BECOMING. THIS OCCURS WHEN YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE REALIZING MORE AND MORE OF YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL.

                    ABRAHAM MASLOW IS BEST KNOWN FOR HIS HIERARCHY OF NEEDS. HE DETERMINED THAT PEOPLE HAVE BOTH "DEFICIENCY NEEDS" AND "BEING NEEDS". PEOPLE STRIVE EITHER TO COMPENSATE FOR THEIR DEFICIENCIES OR TO REALIZE THEIR POTENTIALS. HE CONCLUDED THAT YOU BEGIN TO EVOLVE AND DEVELOP TO THE HIGHEST LEVELS POSSIBLE FOR YOU ONLY WHEN YOUR DEFICIENCY NEEDS ARE FIRST SATISFIED.

                   DEFICIENCY NEEDS. YOUR FIRST DEFICIENCY NEED IS FOR SAFETY AND SURVIVAL. SATISFYING THIS NEED REQUIRES THAT YOU HAVE SUFFICIENT FOOD, WATER, CLOTHING, AND ACCOMMODATION TO PRESERVE YOUR LIFE AND WELL-BEING. IF FOR ANY REASON YOUR SAFETY OR SURVIVAL IS THREATENED, YOU WILL BECOME TOTALLY PREOCCUPIED WITH SATISFYING THIS NEED. YOU WILL EXPERIENCE TREMENDOUS STRESS, AND YOU WILL BE COMPLETELY UNHAPPY UNTIL YOU ARE SAFE ONCE MORE. FOR EXAMPLE, THINK ABOUT BEING IN A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION.

                      THE SECOND DEFICIENCY NEED THAT MASLOW IDENTIFIED IS THE NEED FOR SECURITY. THIS NEED EMBRACES FINANCIAL, EMOTIONAL, TO PROVIDE FOR YOURSELF, SECURITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AT WORK AND AT HOME, AND PHYSICAL SECURITY TO ASSURE THAT YOU ARE NOT IN DANGER OF ANY KIND. IF YOUR SECURITY NEEDS ARE THREATENED, YOU BECOME COMPLETELY PREOCCUPIED WITH THEM. FOR EXAMPLE, THINK ABOUT LOSING YOUR JOB SUDDENLY, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

                   THE THIRD DEFICIENCY NEED THAT MASLOW IDENTIFIED IS BELONGINGNESS. EACH PERSON HAS A NEED TO BE IN SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS, BOTH AT HOME AT WORK. YOU NEED TO BE RECOGNIZED AND ACCEPTED BY OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR WORLD. EACH PERSON NEEDS TO BE COMFORTABLE IN HIS OR HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS AND SEEN AND ACCEPTED AS PART OF A TEAM OR GROUP.

               SELF-ESTEEM NEEDS. ONCE YOU HAVE ACHIEVED A SUFFICIENT LEVEL OF EACH OF THESE BASIC NEEDS - SAFETY, SECURITY, AND BELONGINGNESS - YOU THEN TURN OF SATISFY THE HIGHER NEEDS FOR SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-WORTH, YOUR BEING NEEDS. YOUR SELF-ESTEEM  AND SELF-WORTH, YOUR BEING NEEDS. YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS THE CORE OF YOUR PERSONALITY AND LARGELY DETERMINES HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU. EVERYTHING YOU DO IN LIFE IS EITHER TO INCREASE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM OR TO PROTECT IT FROM BEING DIMINISHED.

                 YOUR SELF-ESTEEM -HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF AND HOW MUCH YOU LIKE AND VALUE YOURSELF- DETERMINES YOUR HAPPINESS MORE THAN ANY OTHER SINGLE FACTOR. YOUR SELF-ESTEEM COMES FROM MANY FACTORS. WHEN YOU ARE LIKED AND ACCEPTED BY OTHERS, LIVING CONSISTENTLY WITH YOUR HIGHEST VALUES, DOING A GOOD JOB AND BEING RECOGNIZED FOR IT, AND MOVING PROGRESSIVELY TOWARD THE ACHIEVEMENT OF YOUR GOALS AND IDEALS, THEN YOU NATURALLY FEEL HAPPY AND SATISFIED. YOU FEEL VALUABLE AND VERY MUCH IN CONTROL.

                   THE HIGHEST HUMAN NEED. THE HIGHEST NEED TAT MASLOW IDENTIFIED WAS FOR SELF-ACTUALIZATION. HE CONCLUED THAT LESS THAN 2 PERCENT OF THE POPULATION EVER REACHES THIS HEIGHT OF PERSONAL FULLFILLMENT. MOST PEOPLE REMAIN SO PREOCCUPIED WITH THEIR DEFICIENCY NEEDS AND PROTECTING OR ENHANCING THEIR SELF-ESTEEM AND THEIR EGO NEEDS THAT THEY GIVE LITTLE THOUGHT OR EFFORT TO SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

                 BUT IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE TREMENDOUS PERSONAL POTENTIAL AND BEGIN STRIVING TO DO, BE, AND HAVE MORE THAN EVER BEFORE IN SOME AREA THAT YOU BEGIN TO EXPERIENCE SELF-ACTUALIZATION AND TRUE HAPPINESS.

                 THE HAPPIEST OF ALL PEOPLE ARE THOSE WHO FEEL THAT THEY ARE DOING SOMETHING WORTHWHILE AND IMPORTANT WITH THEIR LIVES. THEY FEEL THEY ARE STRETCHING AND MOVING BEYOND ANYTHING THEY'RE EVER DONE BEFORE. PEOPLE DEVOTED TO SELF-ACTUALIZATION MAY BE WRITING BOOKS OR CREATING WORKS OF ART. THEY MAY BE CLIMBING MOUNTAINS OR COMPETING IN SPORTS. THEY MAY BE BUILDING BUSINESS OR SCALING THE HEIGHTS OF THEIR PROFESSIONS.

                  THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT SELF-ACTUALIZATION NEEDS IS THAT THEY CAN NEVER BE COMPLETELY SATISFIED. AS YOU CONTINUALLY STRIVE THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE TO BE AND HAVE AND DO MORE THAN EVER BEFORE, YOU EXPERIENCE A STEADY FLOW OF HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT. YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE OF WHAT YOU WERE TRULY MEANT TO BECOME.

                                                  NEVER BE SATISFIED

             IN EACH OF THESE AREAS, WHENEVER YOU EXACT SELF-DISCIPLINE AND WILLPOWER TO OVERCOME THE TENDENCY TO TAKE THE EASY WAY, YOU FEE HAPPIER ABOUT YOURSELF. WHEN YOU TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAMS AND THEN DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO KEEP GOING IN SPITE OF ALL OBSTACLES AND HARDSHIPS, YOU FEEL POWERFUL. YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-CONFIDENCE INCREASE, AND THEN AS YOU MOVE, STEP BY STEP, TOWARD YOUR IDEAS, YOU FEEL GENUINELY HAPPY.

                 IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO INCORPORATE SELF-DISCIPLINE INTO YOUR DAILY HEALTH HABITS TO ENSURE THAT YOU LIVE A LONG, HAPPY, HEALTHY LIFE.