YOUR LIFE

 

                      

                                THE LAW OF CONTROL

                    IN MY BOOK MAXIMUM ACHIEVEMENT, I TEACH THE IMPORTANCE OF THE LAW OF CONTROL, WHICH STATES, "YOU FEEL HAPPY TO THE DEGREE TO WHICH YOU FEEL YOU ARE IN CONTROL  OF YOUR OWN LIFE. YOU FEEL UNHAPPY TO THE DEGREE TO WHICH YOU FEEL YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL, OR CONTROLEED BY OTHER FACTORS OR PEOPLE".

                    PSYCHOLOGISTS CALL THIS YOUR "LOCAL OF CONTROL". THERE ARE FIFTY YEARS OF RESEARCH AND HUNDREDS OF BOOKS AND ARTICLES ON THIS SUBJECT. THEY ALL CONCLUDE THAT STRESS AND UNHAPPINESS ARISE WHEN  YOU FEEL CONTROLLED BY OUTSIDE CIRCUMSTANCE. THIS IS EXPLAINED AS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN "INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL" (HAPPY) AND AN "EXTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL" (UNHAPPY)

                  YOU HAVE AN INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL WHEN YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE IN CHARGE, YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS, AND WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU IN LIFE IS LARGELY DETERMINED BY YOURSELF. WHEN YOU HAVE AN INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL, YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE BEHIND THE WHEEL OF YOUR OWN LIFE AND THAT YOU ARE IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT. YOU FEEL THAT YOU DETERMINE MOST OF WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU. AS A RESULT, YOU FEEL STRONG, PURPOSEFUL, AND HAPPY.

             ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE IN EXTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL TO THE DEGREE TO WHICH YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL OR THAT YOU HAVE LITTLE ABILITY TO DIRECT YOUR OWN LIFE, FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE CONTROLLED BY AN ARBITRARY OR CRITICAL BOSS, BUT YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE JOB BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO SAVINGS PUT ASIDE, YOU EXPERIENCE HIGH LEVELS OF STRESS AND ANXIETY. THIS CAUSES YOU TO DO A POOR JOB, WHICH MAKES IT EVEN MORE LIKELY THAT YOUR DIFFICULT THE CIRCUMSTANCES YOU FEAR.

                    ANOTHER EXAMPLE IS THAT YOU MAY FEEL YOU ARE CONTROLLED BY A BAD MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP FROM WHICH YOU CANNOT ESCAPE. YOU MAY FEEL CONTROLLED BY YOUR BILLS, BY THE MONEY YOU OWE, AND YOUR OBLIGATIONS TO MAINTAIN YOUR STANDARD OF LIVING. YOU MAY FEEL THAT YOU ARE CONTROLLED BY YOUR PHYSICAL CONDITION OR LACK OF EDUCATION. MANY PEOPLE FEEL THAT THEY ARE CONTROLLED BY THEIR PAST BECAUSE OF A DIFFICULT CHILDHOOD OR UPBRINGING AND THAT THERE IS NOTHING THEY CAN DO CHANGE THEIR SITUATION.

                     MANY PEOPLE FEEL THAT THEY ARE CONTROLLED BY THEIR OWN PERSONALITIES AND THAT THEY ARE NOT ABLE TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. THEY SAY, "THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM. "BY SAYING THIS, THEY ABSOLVE THEMSELVES OF ALL RESPONSIBILITY FOR EXERTING THE NECESSARY DISCIPLINE AND WILLPOWER TO MAKE THE CHANGES THEY KNOW THEY NEED TO MAKE IN ORDER TO LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE THEY WANT TO LIVE AND TO BE HAPPY.

                    THE KEY TO REPLACING AN EXTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL WITH AN INTERNAL LOCUS OF CONTROL IS FOR YOU TO DECIDE TODAY TO TAKE COMPLETE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE. REALIZE AND ACCEPT THAT YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS AND THAT YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU ARE BECAUSE OF YOURSELF. IF THERE IS SOME AREA IN YOUR LIFE IN WHICH YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO CHANGE THE SITUATION.

                                 PERFORM AT YOUR BEST

                 WHEN SOMETHING GOES WRONG, THE NATURAL TENDENCY OF MOST PEOPLE IS TO BECOME ANGRY AND LOOK AROUND FOR SOMEONE TO BLAME. BUT THIS IS A WASTE OF ENERGY. IT SOLVES NOTHING. INSTEAD, YOU MUST DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO REMAIN CALM, OBJECTIVE, AND UNEMOTIONAL.

         WHEN YOU FACE AN UNEXPECTED PROBLEM OR CRITIS, DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO STAY CALM, TO FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION RATHER THAN THE PROBLEM. THINK IN TERMS OF WHAT CAN BE DONE NOW, RATHER THAN THINKING ABOUT HOW IT OCCURED AND WHO IS TO BLAME.

                   LIKE AN ACCIDENT WHERE SOMEONE IS HURT, YOU FOCUS ON CARING FOR THE INJURED PERSON, STOPPING THE BLEEDING, AND MINIMIZING THE DAMAGE BEFORE YOU START ANALYZING WHAT AND HOW IT HAPPENED, PRACTICE SELF-DISCIPLINE WHEN DEALING WITH A PROBLEM OR CRISIS BY IMMEDIATELY SAYING, "I AM RESPONSIBLE", EVEN IF, AT THAT MOMENT, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE ONLY FOR CONTROLLING YOUR RESPONSES.