SPIRITUAL PRACTICE FOR HAPPINESS

 

                                THE FOUNDATION OF OUR HAPPINESS

                             

                    SPIRITUAL PRACTICEIS THE FOUNDATION OF OUR HAPPINESS. IT GUIDES US IN TIMES OF TURMOIL AND GROUNDS US IN TIMES OF JOY.

                  MEDITATION CAN HELP US EMBRACE OUR WORRIES, OUR FEAR, OUR ANGER,                         AND THAT IS VERY HEALING. WE LET  OUR WON NATURAL CAPACITY OF                                     HEALING DO THE WORK.

                                                                                 --- THICK NHAT HANH

           SPIRITUALLITY IS BASED ON THE PREMISE THAT WE LIVE IN THIS WORLD, BUT WE ARE NOT FROM IT. MANY OF OUR PROBLEMS LIE IN NOT UNDERSTANDING OUR FUNDAMENTAL IDENTITY, WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS HAVING SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE, WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING HUMAN EXPERIENCES, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO REALIZE THIS PRINCIPLE THEORETICALLY. WE CAN ATTEND HUNDREDS OF LECTURES AND READ VOLUMES OF BOOKS, BUT THIS IS INADEQUATE WITHOUT US COMMITTING TO A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE, OR SADHANA AS IT IS KNOWN IN SANSKRIT.

                 THE SIMPLEST WAY TO EXPLAIN SPRIITUAL PRACTICE IS TO DESCRIBE THE HIERARCHY OF CONNECTIONS. AT ANY MOMENT, WE CAN BE MAKING THREE KINDS OF CONNECTIONS. 

                  OUTSIDE OURSELVES. THE MAJORITY OF OUR TIME IS SPENT IN CONNECTING WITH THE WORLD- NETWORKING, RELATIONSHIPS, OUR WORK. IT'S ALL CRUCIAL, BUT CAN US ASTRAY IF WE HAVE NO INNER DIRECTION. THE FEAR OF MISSING OUR, THINKING THAT THE GRASS IS GREENER ELSEWHERE, AND LIVING A LIFE OUT OF BALANCE ARE ALL SYMPTOMS OF HAVING INCORRECTLY PRIORITIZED HAPPINESS OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES.

                  INSIDE OURSELVES. BEYOND OUR EVERYDAY LIVES, MANY LOOK FOR SALACE WITHIN. PEOPLE STRUGGLING WITH LIFE, THOSE TRYING TO WORK ON THEMSELVES TO CONQUER THE EXTERNAL WORLD, THOSE CURIOUS ABOUT THEIR INNER WORLD, AND OCCASIONALLY, A FEW OF THOSE SEEKING THE TRUTH - THESE ARE THE TYPES OF PEOPLE WHO WILL TAKE THE JOURNEY WITHIN.

                            

                ABOVE OURSELVES. THOSE SIMPLY VOYAGING WITHIN CAN GET FRUSTRATED BY THEIR LACK OF PROGRESS OR DIRECTION. THEY CAN FEEL AS THOUGH  THEY'RE ON A SHIP TRAVELLING A 70 KNOTS PER HOUR, BUT WITHOUT A COMPASS. CONNECTING ABOVE OURSELVES MEANS RE-ESTABLISHING OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, OR SOMETHING HIGHEST THAT OURSELVES. GOD IS ONE, AND IS IDENDIFIED DIFFERENTLY ACROSS DIFFERENT CULTURES. THEREFORE, IT IS NOT ABOUT CONNECTING TO MY GOD OR YOUR GOD, IT IS ABOUT CONNECTING TO OUR GOD. WHEN THIS HAPPENS, IT IS AS IF A LIGHT BULB IS GETTING CONNECTED TO AN ENTIRE POWERHOUSE. A BULB ON ITS OWN IS JUST A PIECE OF GLASS WITH A TUNGSTEN FILAMENT, IT NEEDS AN ELECTRICAL CHARGE TO EXPERIENCE LIGHT AND GIVE LIGHT TO OTHERS. SIMILARLY IT IS OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMETHING HIGHER THAN OURSELVES THAT CAN GIVE US LOVE AND ALLOW US TO GIVE LOVE TO OTHERS.

                   HARRY LISTENED HAS I EXPLAINED FURTHER, JUST AS THERE ARE MANY PATHS TO GET TO OUR DESTINATION, THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF CONNECTING TO GOD THAT TRASCEND RELIGIOUS AND SECTARIAN BOUNDARIES. MANY PEOPLE PRACTISE PRAYER, A SIMPLE YET DEEPLY EFFECTIVE METHOD TO BECOME SELF-RELAIZED. I DO PRACTISE PRAYER, BUT MY PREFERED METHOD FOR DEVELOPING SPIRITUAL STRENGTH IS THROUGH  MEDITATION.

                  OUT OF THE MANY TYPES OF MEDITATION, I PRACTICE MANTRA MEDITATION. THIS MEANS I SPEND SOME TIME DAILY FOCUSING MY MIND ON SACRED SOUNDS, CHANTING THE NAME OF GOD, BY WHICH WE CAN FREE OURSELVES OF ANXIETY. MODERN SCIENCE REGOCNIZES THE HUGE BENEFITS OF MEDITATION. RELIEVING US OF STRESS, GIVING US A SENSE OF PURPOSE, THUS ENABLING US TO BECOME MORE CREATIVE, AMONGST MANY OTHER BENEFITS. HOWEVER, ANCIENT EASTERN LITERATURE GIVES US DEEPER INSIGHT.

             MEDITATION IS LIKE A PLAN, IT FIRST TAKES YOU HIGH, THEN FAR AWAY AND THEN FURTHER AWAY IMPERCEPTIBLY. I SEE MEDITATION LIKE A PLAN BECAUSE WHEN YOU TAKE OFF, YOU IMMEDIATELY START GAINING ALTITUDE. WE EXPERIENCE WORRY AND ANXIETY IN LIFE BECAUSE WE TAKE THINGS OUT OF PERCEPTIVE. MEDITATION ENABLES US TO LOOK DOWN AT ALL OUR ANXIETIES, PROBLEMS AND WORRIES THROUGH A HIGHER VANTAGE-POINT, THUS GIVING US A GREAT SENSE OF PEACE AND CALMNESS.

               THE DEEPER EFFECT  IS THAT MEDITATION CARRIES US FAR.  IT COMPLETELY TRANSFORMS OUR CHARACTER, DEVELOPS THE BEST OF COMPLETELY TRANSFORMS OUR CHARACTER, DEVELOPS THE BEST OF QUALITIES WITHIN US AND ALLOWS US TO EXPERIENCE SELF-REALIZATION. THROUGH MEDITATION WE BECOME THE BEST VERSIONS OF OURSELVES. BUT THIS TAKES TIME AND IS OFTEN IMPERCEPTILE. FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU LOOK OUTSIDE THE WINDOW ON A PLANE IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE YOU ARE MOVING VERY FAST. BUT EIGHT HOURS LATER, YOU'RE LANDING HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD.

              MEDITATION BECOMES DIFFICULT BECAUSE OF OUR MIND. IT IS SAID THAT THE MIND IS LIKE A RESTLESS MONKEY, ALWAYS JUMPING FROM ONE THOUGHT TO ANOTHER. IT DOES NOT BECOME PEACEFUL JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY SO. IT NEEDS TO BE CONTROLLED. THEREFORE,  MEDITATION IS A DISCIPLINE THAT HELPS US CONTROL THE MIND. FOR EXAMPLE, THE TRAINS OF MUMBAI KEEP THE CITY'S ECONOMY MOVING. BUT WHAT KEEPS THEM TRAVELLING IS THE FACT THAT THEY ARE BOUND BY THE TRACKS, SCHEDULE AND DESTINATION. SIMILARLY, THE MIND WITHOUT BEING BOUND BY THE DISCIPLINE OF MEDITATION WILL NOT BE ABLE TO REACH ITS DESTINATION. SOME DAYS IT WILL FEEL LIKE MEDITATING, AND SOME DAYS IT WILL NOT.

              EVEN UNDERSTANDING THE CONCEPT OF MEDITATION TAKES TIME. I KNOW MANY EXECUTIVES AND CELEBRITIES PRACTISE IT, BUT I'VE NEVER FELT LIKE I HAVE THE TIME. HARRY INTERRUPTE. HE SEEMED TO BE FEELING OVERWHELEMED AT THE VARIETY OF CONCEPTS I HAD PRESENTED.

               PEOPLE WITH NO TIME TO SPARE NEED IT THE MOST, I CHUCKED I AM NOW ABLE TO PRACTICE MEDITATION FOR TWO HOURS DAY. IT WAS NOT LIKE THAT IN THE BEGINNING. I COULD COPE WITH ONLY TEN MINUTES A DAY WHEN I INITIALLY STARTED AND THAT DIDN'T SEEM SO DAUNTING.

                  HARRY NOODE, THEN ASKED, "AFTRE ALL THIS TIME, HAVE YOU NOTICED ANY CHANGES IN YOUR CHARACTER". 

                   I HAVE, QUIET HONESTLY, ONE DOESN'T HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE THE EFFECTS OF MEDITTION IN THE AFTERLIFE- WE CAN SEE THEM IN THIS LIFE IF WE PRACTICE IT DILIGENTLY ENOUGH AND UNDER THE RIGHT GUIDANCE.

                  HE SEEMED IMPRESSED WITH THAT ANSWER.

                  DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE IMPORTANT OF GRATITUDE EARLIER? I ASKED .

                  "SURE."

                  PEOPLE WHO MEDITATE WHO MEDITATE DEVELOPS A HABIT OF PRACTISING SINCERE GRATITUDE WHICH HELPS THEM IN ALL THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. IT IS A RELATIONSHIP-STRENGHTHENING  EMOTION "BECAUSE IT REQUIRES US TO SEE HOW WE'VE BEEN SUPPORTED AND AFFIRMED BY OTHER PEOPLE. 

                 HARRY BEGAN TO FIDGET WITH THE STEERING WHEEL AGAIN. WHAT ON YOUR MIND? I ASKED.

                I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MY WIFE AND I TREAT EACH OTHER'. HE SAID, READY TO TAKE OUR CONVERSATION FORWARD, AND I KNEW IT WAS TIME TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE SECOND WHEEL OF LIFE.

                   SUMMARY

                  * WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS HAVING SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE; WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING HUMAN EXPERIENCES, WE ARE NOT THIS BODY, WE ARE A SPIRITUAL BEING.

                 * WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE HIERARCHY OF CONNECTIONS. ULTIMATELY, WE MUST CONNECT TO SOMETHING ABOVE OURSELVES SUCH AS GOD. THIS CAN GIVE US THE POWER TO SPREAD HAPPINESS AND JOY AROUND THE WORLD.

              * THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO CONNECT TO GOD. WE MAY HAVE OUR OWN, WHICH IS GREAT, AND WE SHOULD GO DEEPER INTO IT. ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHODS THAT HAS WORKED REALLY WELL FOR ME IS MANTRA MEDITATION.

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FORGIVENESS, FAMILY, AFFIRMATION

 

                                                                FAMILY

                            OUR JOURNEY OF SELFLESSNESS FROM AN ICE CREAM TO A CANDLE MUST START SOMEWHERE. OFTEN, PEOPLE CAN DISPLY SELFLESSNESS OUTSIDE THEIR HOME. PEOPLE MAY HELP OUT IN THEIR COMMUNITY, OR AT TEMPLES OR SCHOOLS, AND SOME MAY EVEN MAKE SURE THAT THEY GET A SELFIE TO ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD THAT THEY HAVE HELPED. BUT AT HOME, THEY MAY NOT EXPRESS THE SAME SERVICE MENTALITY. I BELIEVE THAT SELFLESSNESS STARTS AT HOME, WITH THE ONES WE LOVE THE MOST. ARE WE DOING WHAT WE CAN TO HELP THEM? ARE WE THERE FOR THEM TO HELP THEM PHYSICALLY AS WELL AS EMOTIONALLY? RELATIONSHIPS AT HOME CAN WORK WELL ONLY IF ALL PARTIES HAVE LOW EXPECTATIONS OF EACH OTHER, BUT HIGHG EXPECTATIONS OF THEMSELVES OF EACH OTHER, BUT HIGH EXPECTATIONS OF THEMSELVES TO HELP THE OTHER.

                AT THIS MOMENT, HARRY WAS AN EXAMPLE OF SERVING THE ONE YOU LOVE. ANOTHER THOUGHT THE CAME TO MY MIND WAS OF LATA KHATE, WHOSE STORY OF SACRIFICE FOR HER HUSBAND DEEPLY TOUCHED MY HEART.

                                                      RUNNING MARATHONS

                 LATA BHAGAVAN KHARE WAS A SIXTY-FIVE-YEAR RESIDENT OF A SMALL VILLAGE LOCATED IN THE BUDHANA OF MAHARASHTRA. HER LIFE WAS SIMPLE. SHE AND HER HUSBAND WOULD GO DAILY TO A LANDOWNER'S FAM AND MAKE JUST ENOUGH TO SURVIVE, THEIR HOURSE WE SMALL, BUT THE FOOD THEY GOD FROM THE FARM FILLED THEIR STOMACHS.

              THE SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY THEY HAD SAVED THOUGHOUT THEIR LIVES WAS SPENT ON GETTING THEIR THREE DAUGHTER MARRIED. NOW THAT THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES WERE COMPLETE,  THEY ENJOYED THE SIMPLE PLEASURES OF LIFE AND EACH OTHER'S COMPANY THEY WERE INSEPERABLE AND UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER COMPLETELY. THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS A TESTAMENT OF THE PRINCIPLE THAT YOU DID NOT NEED LUXURY TO BE HAPPY.

           SUMMARY :

              * ON ONE LEVEL, WE PRACTISE SELFLESSNESS IN HELPING OUR FAMILY. OUR DAY-TO -DAY SACRIFICES TO  MAINTAIN OUR FAMILY RELATIONS ARE ACTS OF SELFLESSNESS. WE DO NOT NECESSARILY HAVE TO RUN MARATHONS LIKE LATA KHARE TO DISPLAY OUR DEVOTION TO THOSE WE LOVE.

              * OUR CIRCLE OF SELFLESSNESS SHOULD NOT END WITH OUR FAMILY. WE SHOULD HELP THOSE OUTSIDE OF OUR IMMEDIATE CARE AND AFFECTION TOO.

                                                           FORGIVENESS 

 

                      1. IDENTIFY THE CAUSE

              THINK OF A PERSON YOU WANT TO FORGIVE , AND WHAT YOU WANT TO FORGIVE THEM FOR.

              NOW SIT BACK AND RELAX. BREATHE IN, HOLD YOUR BREATHE FOR A FEW SECONDS, AND BREATHE OUT. THIS EXERCISE MAY RELEASE A LOT OF EMOTION- LET IT ALL COME NATURALLY.

                          2. LOOK AT THE SITUATION FROM THE OTHER 

                                              PERSON'S PERSPECTIVE

             PUT YOURSELF IN THE OTHER PERSON'S SHOES. TRY TO THINK ABOUT THE SITUATION AND UNDERSTOOD WHY THEY HAVE TREATED YOU IN THIS WAY. IT IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THE INTENTION OF THE PERSON AND WHY THEY MAY HAVE ACTED IN THE WAY THEY DID TOWARDS YOU. WHEN WE UNDERSTAND THE REASON WHY THE PERSON MAY HAVE ACTED IN THAT WAY, IT MAY MAKE IT EASIER FOR US TO FORGIVE.

               3. CONFIRM THE OTHER PERSON'S THOUGHTS

 

                 TO CONFIRM WHAT THE PERSON'S THOUGHTS WERE WHEN THEY ACTED TOWARDS YOU IN A CERTAIN WAY, YOU MAY DO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS.

                  A) APPROACH THE PERSON DIRECTLY. USE TACT TO UNDERSTAND THEIR THOUGHT PROCESS. A NORMAL CONVERSATION MAY HELP REVEAL WHY THEY ACTED THE WAY THEY DID. NOTE: YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO INTO THIS MEETING WITH AN ACCUSATORY ATTITUDE, AS IT MAY BACKFIRE IF THINGS GET EMOTIONAL.

                 B) TALK TO SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THAT PERSON'S FRIEND OF THAT PERSON.

                C) IF A AND B ARE NOT POSSIBLE, THEN WAIT UNTIL MORE UNFOLDS. LET TIME REVEAL MORE.

                 4. FORESEE DIFFICULTIES THAT MAY ARISE, 

                                           BUT ALSO TRY TO                      

              SEE THE BENEFITS OF FORGIVING THIS PERSON

                    WHEN TRYING TO FORGIVE SOMEONE, THERE MAY BE SITUATIONS AND EMOTIONS THAT MAY REPLAY IN YOUR MIND AND MAKE IT DIFFICULT TO COMPLETELY LET GO.

                   YOU MAY BE FEELING HURT, ANGER, INJUSTICE, WHATEVER IT IS, WRITE IT DOWN BELOW.'

                   COUNTERACT THE FEELINGS OF HURT, WITH THE BENEFITS OF LETTING THAT FEELING GO.

                      5. REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT PERSON HAS                                    DONE FOR YOU

                      RECALLING ALL THE GOOD THINGS THE PERSON HAS DONE FOR YOU WILL HELP YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY IN FORGIVING THEM.

                     6. THINKOF HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE AFTER FORGIVING

 

                    * FORGIVE AND FORGET. (THEREFORE TRUST THE PERSON AGAIN)

                   * FORGIVE, MONITOR AND THEN TRUST. (LOOK TO SEE IF THE PERSON) HAS IMPROVED THEIR BEHAVIOUR BEFORE TRUSTING THEM AGAIN)

                  * FORGIVE AND NOT TRUST. (YOU CAN FORGIVE THE PERSON BUT DECIDE TO NO LOGER HAVE A TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM)

                * FORGIVE AND TAKE AGAIN. (YOU MAY FORGIVE THE PERSON AND NEED TO TAKE ACTION, EITHER LEGAL OR PRACTICAL. EXAMPLE YOU MAY FORGIVE YOUR SPOUSE FOR CHEATING YOU, BUT YOU MAY STILL DECIDE TO LIVE SEPARATE LIVES)

                  IN THE SPACE BELOW, WRITE HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE AFTER FORGIVING THE PERSON AND WHY YOU WANT TO LIVE IN THIS WAY.

                           7. LOOK AT YOUR FORGIVENESS AFFIRMATION

                YOU SHOUE HAVE NOTED:

               * THE PERSON YOU WANT TO FORGIVE, AND WHAT YOU WANT TO FORGIVE THEM FOR.

           

              * THE SITUATION FROM THE OTHER PERSON'S PERSPECTIVE (IN YOUR OPINION)

              * CONFIRM THE OTHER PERSON'S INTENTION TOWARD YOU.

             * ANY DIFFICULTIES THAT MAY ARISE IN TRYING TO FORGIVE THE PERSON.

            * ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT THE PERSON HAS DONE FOR YOU.

           * WHETHER YOU WANT TO FORGIVE AND FORGET, FORGIVE AND NOT TRUST, FORGIVE, MONITOR ADN THEN TRUST, OR FORGIVE AND TAKE ACTION.

                           CAN YOU TURN YOUR PASSION INTO PURPOSE?

                 THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE ARE THOSE HELPING OTHER. DOES THIS PASSION HELP YOU CONTRIBUTE TO THE WORLD? YOUR PASSION IS FOR YOU, BUT ONCE YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE IT SERVE OTHERS, IT BECOMES YOUR PURPOSE.

                 YOU CAN TURN YOUR PASSION INTO YOUR PURPOSE BY USING ONE OF THE THREE R'S.

                  RELEVANCE : IS YOUR PASSION DIRECTLY RELEVANT TO HELPING OTHER? FOR EXAMPLE, BEING A TEACHER CAN BE A REWARDING PROFESSION: YOU CAN EARN A LIVING, WHILST STIMULTANEOUSLY ENRICHING YOUNG MINDS.

               RESOURCES : DOES YOUR SITUATION ALLOW YOU TO USE ITS BENEFITS TO HELP OTHERS? THIS COULD BE YOUR STATUS TO INFLUENCE CHANGE, YOU MONEY TO HELP WITH PHILANTHROPY OR YOUR NETWORK TO CHANGE HEARTS.

              REMAINDER OF YOUR TIME; YOUR SITUATION MAY GIVE YOU FLEXIBILITY, TO HAVE THE TIME TO CARRY OUT WHAT YOU'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT OUTSIDE OF YOUR DAY-TO-DAY WORK. THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO WORK ALL AT THE OFFICE, BUT COME ALIVE SERVING THE HOMELESS AFTER WARDS.

            I SHOULD STRESS THAT PURPOSE DOES NOT MEAN A GRAND STATEMENT TO CHANGE THE WORLD'. IT COULD MEAN HAVING GRAND INTENTIONS TO CHANGE THE WORLD IN A SMALL WAY. THAT SMALL CONTRIBUTIONS MAY FEED INTO A LARGER NETWORK OF PEOPLE WORKING TOGETHER TO HELP. FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU WANT TO HELP THE HOMELESS, CAN YOU CONNECT WITH AN ORGANIZATION OR GROUP THAT RESONATES WITH YOU?

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SPEAKING SLANG

 

                                                    

                                                           YOUR SLANG

                     WE SHOULD DEAL WITH EACH OTHER SENSITIVELY, OUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE AFFECTS, HOW WE ACT IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS.

                    A GENTLE ANSWER TURNS AWAY WRATH, BUT A HARSH WORD

                    STIRS UP ANGER

                                                                                                                ---- SOLOMON

                       WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW YOU TREAT YOUR WIFE? I ASKED HIM, ALARMED. I HAD BEEN TO THEIR HOUSE AND FOUND NOTHING AMISS. WAS THERE SOMETHING HE WASN'T SHARING?

                      IT'S NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE, HE SAID, BLUSHING, ITS JUST THAT WE ARE CONSTANTLY FIGHTING AND BICKERING. SHE ALWAYS WANTS TO CHANGE THINGS ABOUT ME, AND I END UP LEAVING THE ROOM WHEN SHE STARTS WITH HER SUGGESTIONS.

                    I WAS QUITE TAKEN ABLACK BY HIS COMMENTS. HOW PEOPLE HEHAVE IN PUBLIC CAN BE VERY DIFFERENT FROM HOW THEY ARE IN THEIR PRIVATE LIVES.

                   JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO I WAS EXPERIENCING THE WARMTH IN THE EXCHANGES BETWEEN YOU TWO, I SAID, 

                 I SUPPORSE WE ACT DIFFERENTLY DEPENDING ON WHOSE COMPANY WE ARE IN, HE PAUSED FOR A MOMENT. HOW CAN WE MAINTAIN THE "SPARK" THAT WE ONCE HAD?. WHAT YOU WITNESSED AT MY HOME TODAY WAS WHAT IT WAS CONSTANTLY LIKE IN. AMERICA WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER, BUT IT SLOWLY STARTED TO FIZZLED OUT. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?

               THERE WAS A SERIES OF THINGS I WANTED TO SAY. I STARTED BY COMFORTING HIM, "THIS HAPPENS WITH ALL RELATIONSHIPS , NOT JUST IN MARRIAGES. IF WE ARE NOT PROACTIVE IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS, THEY START TO SEEM DRY AND BECOME CUMBERSOME. WE HAVE TO HAVE RESPECT FOR THE OTHER PERSON, WHICH IS REFLECTED IN HOW SENSITIVELY WE TREAT HIM'.

                I HAD ANOTHER ANECODOTE TO SHARE:

                                                    HARSH WORDS FLY'

                         THE WHEELS OF THE PLANE SCREECHED AS WE LANDED ON THE TARMAC O FHEATHROW AIRPORT, LONDON. AS A CROWD GATHERED IN THE AISLE - WITH PEOPLE QUICK TO DISOBEY THE FASTEN-SEATBELT SIGN, WHICH WE STILL ON - I CLOSED MY EYES STILL SITTING IN MY SEAT, PLANNING FOR WHAT I NEEDED TO DO AT THE TERMINAL. IT WAS MY NINTH TIME IN LONDON. BY NOW I WAS USED TO LONG IMMIGRATION LINES, CHECK-IN BAGS ALREADY  WALTZING AROUND THE BAGGAGE CAROUSEL AND MY FRIENDS WAITING TO PICK ME UP AT THE ARRIVALS.

                        AS THE LINE TO EXIT THE PLANE THINNED, I DEFTLY UNCLIPPED MY SEATBELT (THIS WAS THE ONLY PART OF THE SAFETY DEMONSTRATION WHICH I HAD MASTERED) AND STRETCHED LETHARGICALLY. IT HAS BEEN A TEN-HOUR FLIGHT FROM MUMBAI, TORRENTIAL RAINS MEANS OUR PLANE WAS CIRCLING THE ENGLISH CAPITAL FOR THREE-QUARTERS OF AN HOUR. A MEMBER OF THE CREW BROUGHT MY BAG DOWN FROM THE CABIN ABOVE, EXEMPLIFYING THEIR EXCELLENT SERVICE DURING THE FIGHT. SEEING MY SAFFRON ROBES, I FELT THEY WERE BIASED TOWARDS ME AT TIMES, GIVING ME AN EXTRA PILLOW OR A LARGER TOMATO JUICE. ALTHOUGH I NEVER FELT ENTITLD TO THIS, I THANKED THEM.

                                                                SUMMARY :

                  I TEND TO TRAVEL LIGHT WHEN I GO ABROAD. THE GREAT THING ABOUT BEING A MONKIS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING (ORANGE EVERY DAY), YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT GROOMING YOUR HAIR (YOU DON'T  HAVE ANY) AND YOU BAGS ARE TINY (YOU OWN VERY LITTLE). HAVING FEWER POSSESSIONS FREES ONE OF ANXIETY, GIVING YOU MORE MIND-SPACE FOR THE VITAL THINGS IN LIFE.

                  * WE MUST BE SENSITIVE WITH OUR WORDS AND ACTIONS. BEING SENSITIVE MEANS TO THINK ABOUT HOW THE OTHER PERSON MAY FEEL BEFORE WE SAY OR DO SOMETHING. FOR EXAMPLE, MANASI'S NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE AT THE ASHRAM THAT I RESIDE IN AFFECTED HER OUTLOOK ON THE WHOLE COMMUNITY.

 

                 * HOW DE WE PRACTISE BEING SENSITIVE? WE MUST TREAT EVEN INANIMATE OBJECTS WITH CONSIDERATION AND RESPECT. IF WE DO NOT, THEN THE MENTALITY OF INSENSITIVITY MAY BECOME A PART OF OUR GENERAL ATTITUDE.

               * ONE'S INSTINCT OR GENERAL ATTITUDE DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE BETWEEN THINGS AND PEOPLE. TREATING THINGS BADLY CAN AFFECT OUR ATTITUDE NEGATIVELY, WHICH MAY PERCOLATE INTO OUR RELATIONSHIPS.

               * SEEING THE BEST IN PEOPLE CAN BE CHALLENGING AT TIMES, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE ARE IN CONSTANT PROXIMITY TO THEM.

             * WE CAN PERCEIVE PEOPLE IN THE FOLLOWING FIVE WAYS:

                          👀 SEE ONLY BAD AND MAGNIFY IT.

                          👀 SEE GOOD AND BAD, NEGLECT THE GOOD AND FOCUS ON THE BAD.

                          👀 SEE GOOD AND BAD, AND BE NEUTRAL TO BOTH.

                           👀 SEE GOOD AND BAD, CHOOSE TO FOCUS ON THE GOOD AND                                                      NEGLECT THE BAD.

                          👀 SEE THE GOOD AND MAGNIFY IT.

                 *  THE IDEAL STATE IS THE FOURTH STAGE, IN WHICH ONE'S RELATIONSHIPS                          FLOURISH.

                * REACHING THE FOURTH STAGE TAKES CONSISTENT HARD WORK AND                                  PRACTICE.

 

                                                   BEFORE SPEAK ANY

 

                  ❤ SAYING THINGS IN ANGER DAMAGES OUR RELATIONSHIPS. HENCE, WE SHOULD TRY TO AVOID DOING SO.

                  ❤ IF WE NEED TO GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK, WE SHOULD INVEST TONNES OF PRAISE AND TRUST INTO A PERSON BEFORE DOING SO.

                  ❤ THINK : WITH REGARD TO THE STORY IN NEPAL, I COULD DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONAL HURT BECAUSE I REALIZED HOW MUCH THE INDIVIDUAL CORRECTING ME HAD DONE FOR ME IN THE PAST.

                 ❤ CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK IS AN ART. IT HAS FOUR PRINCIPLES. ASK YOURSELF:

                ❤ AM I THE RIGHT PERSON TO GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK?

               ❤ DO I HAVE THE RIGHT MOTIVE TO GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK?

               ❤ DO I KNOW THE RIGHT WAY TO GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK?

              ❤ IS IT THE RIGHT TIME?

                 THE SMOOTH IMPLEMENTATION OF THESE FOUR PRINCIPLES TAKES TIME BECAUSE GIVING CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK INSENSITIVELY HAS BECOME AN ADDICTIVE HABIT FOR MANY.

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CREATE VISIONS OF THE WORLD YOU WANT TO SEE

 

                                YOU ARE THE DREAMER OF YOUR DREAM

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                        YOU ARE THE DREAMER OF YOUR DREAM THAT IS YOUR LIFE. AT TIMES YOUR DREAM MAY FEEL LIKE A NIGHTMARE IF YOU'VE DISCONNECTED FROM THE LOVE OF THE UNIVERSE AND INSTEAD IDENTIFY WITH THE LOVE OF THE UNIVERSE AND INSTEAD IDENTIFY WITH THE FEAR OF THE WORLD. WHEN YOU RELY ON THE SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE OF THE UNIVERSE, YOU'LL BE LED OUT OF THE NIGHTMARE AND INTO A HAPPY DREAM. A DREAM OF NEW PERCEPTIONS THAT RESEMBLES THE TRUTH OF WHO ARE LOVE.

                        FOR THIS SACRED MOMENT, OFFER YOURSELF AND OPPORTUNITY TO DO AN EXERCISE OF IMAGE MAKING. THE IMAGES YOU FOCUS ON ARE THE IMAGES THAT MAKE UP THE DREAM THAT IS YOUR LIFE. THAT'S WHY THIS EXERCISE IS CRUCIAL TO ACCEPTING THAT THE UNIVERSE HAS YOUR BACK.

                    A COURSE IN MIRACLES SAYS, "THE MIND IS VERY

                   POWERFUL, AND NEVER LOSS ITS CREATIVE FORCE. IT 

                   NEVER SLEEPS. EVERY INSTANT IT IS CREATING. IT IS 

                   HARD TO RECOGNIZE THAT THOUGHT AND BELIEF COMBINE

                   INTO A POWER SURGE THAT CAN LITERALLY MOVE MOUNTAINS".

                     WE MUST LEARN TO TRAIN OUR MINDS TO CREATE WITH LOVE RATHER THAN WITH FEAR. THIS EXERCISE IS A GREAT PRACTICE FOR YOU TO BEGIN AWAKENING TO THE POWER OF YOUR OWN CREATIONS.

                    BEGIN THE PRACTICE OF IMAGE MAKING BY ANSWERING THIS SIMPLE QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE? BE UNAPOLOGETIC ABOUT YOUR ANSWER. MAYBE YOU WANT TO SEE A WORLD WITHOUT WAR. MAYBE YOU WANT TO SEE YOURSELF IN A WIDELY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. MAYBE YOU WANT TO SEE YOURSELF WALKING THOUGH LIFE FROM FEAR. CREATE THE IMAGES YOU MOST LONG FOR.

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                   WRITE DOWN YOUR ANSWER NOW. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE?

                   NEXT, READ YOUR RESPONSE AND THEN CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SIT IN STILLNESS FOR FIVE MINITES. YOU CAN FOLLOW THE MEDITATION HERE, OR FOR FURTHER GUIDANCE YOU CAN USE MY IMAGE-MAKING GUIDED MEDITATION, WHICH YOU CAN FIND AT WWW.GABBYBERNSTEIN.COM/UNIVERSE.

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                                         IMAGE - MAKING MEDITATION :

                    SIT UP STRAIGHT, RESTING YOUR HANDS ON YOUR THIGHS

WITH YOUR PALMS FACING UPWARD. WHEN YOU SIT UP STRAIGHT WITH PROPER,

                NATURAL (NOT STIFF) ALIGNMENT, YOU BECOME A CHANNEL TO RECEIVE 

POSITIVE ENERGY.

                CLOSE YOUR EYES AND TURN YOUR FOCUS INWARD.

              ALLOW YOUR INNER SPIRIT (YOUR INSPIRATION) TO COME FORTH AND SURRENDER  TO THE IMAGES THAT YOU WANT TO SEE.

             LET THE WISDOM WITHIN YOU CREATE IMAGES IN YOUR MIND'S EYE.

            SURRENDER TO THIS WISDOM NOW.

           BREATHE DEEPLY IN THROUGH YOUR NOSE AND OUT THROUGH YOUR MOUTH.

          WITH EACH INHALE AND EXHALE, SURRENDER MORE FULLY TO THE VISIONS THAT YOU WANT TO SEE.

 

             CONSCIOUSLY FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON THEM.

               ALLOW VISIONS OF WHAT YOU WANT TO GUIDE YOU ON A JOURNEY OF NEW PERCEPTIONS.

                SIT AS LONG AS YOU WISH.

                WHEN YOU'RE READY, GENTLY COME OUT OR YOUR MEDITATION AND TAKE A MOMENT TO JOT DOWN ANY IMAGES THAT MAY HAVE COME THROUGH. MAYBE WHAT YOU TO SEE IS A NEWBORN BABY, AND IN YOUR MEDITATION YOU SAW THE EYES OF A CHILD. OR MAYBE YOU LONG FOR A ROMANTIC PARTNER, AND IN THE STILLNESS YOU SAW YOURSELF IN A WARM EMBRACE WITH A LOVER, IT'S EVEN POSSIBLE THAT YOU SAW IMAGES THAT WERE FAR LESS LITERAL AND IN TIME YOU'LL COME TO UNDERSTAND THE MESSAGE BEHIND THEM.

                             THE VISIONS YOU SEE IN STILLNESS 

                                        THAT BEING SUPPORTED

                 IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE ANY IMAGERY, MAYBE YOU HAD AN EMOTIONAL REACTION OR A SHIFT IN YOUR ENERGY.

                WRITE DOWN WHATEVER HAPPENED.

               THIS EXERCISE IS THE BEGINNING OF OPENING THE DOOR TO A COLLABORATION WITH THE ENERGY OF THE UNIVERSE. WHEN YOU HUMBLY SURRENDER THROUGH PRAYER AND MEDITATION, YOU BEGIN TO RECEIVE GUIDANCE FAR BEYOND YOUR PHYSICAL SITE. OFTEN YOU'LL FEEL A PRESENCE WITHIN YOU AND AROUND YOU. GUIDING YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO DIVE DEEPLY INTO THE INFINITE POOL OF INNER WISDOM THAT IS AVAILABLE TO YOU NOW. OPEN YOUR HEART ADN MIND TO NEW PERCEPTIONS. ALLOW YOURSELF TO SURRENDER TO THE FLOW OF LOVE THAT ALWAYS GUIDES YOU. MOST IMPORTANT, ACCEPT THAT YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO THRIVE, SHINE, ADN SUCCEED. GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF OPENING YOUR MIND TO A WORLD BEYOND WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO BELIEVE IT. A WORLD OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES. A WORLD TAUGHT TO BELIEVE IT. A WORLD OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES. A WORLD OF LOVE.

                 RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE THE CHANCE OF LOVE, AND TO CHOOSE TO LITTLENESS, TO CHOOSE THE TEACHER OF LOVE, AND AND TO CHOOSE TO SEE WHAT YOU DESIRE. IN THIS INSTANT YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE SHIFT YOU HAVE BEEN LONGING FOR.

                 MAKE LOVE YOUR PRIMARY CHOICE ON A MOMENT-TO-MOMENT BASIS. I KNOW YOU MAY BE THIKING. WELL, THAT'S ALL FUN AND NICE, BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN MY BOSS IN AN ASS OR WHEN I'M TERRIFIED BY THE NEWS ON TV? MY RESPONSE TO THIS IS :

                 IN THE MIDST OF THE DARKNESS, GRAB OF FLASHLIGHT. 

                 THE STEPS OUTLINED IN THIS CHAPTER ARE THE FLASHLIGHTS. THE LIGHT IS AVAILABLE TO YOU AT ALL TIMES, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TURN IT ON BY TUNIN IN.

                              LET'S RECAP THE KEY STEPS FROM THIS CHATPER :

  

                * CHOOSE THE TEACHER OF LOVE. ACCEPT THAT YOU'D RATHER LEARN                                 THROUGH LOVE.

               * PRACTICE THE HOLY INSTANT AND PRAY TO LEARN THROUGH THE                                     TEACHER  OF LOVE OVER THE TEACHER OF FEAR.

               * FAST COMEBACK. REMEMBER, YOUR HAPPINESS IS A DIRECT REFLECTION                        OF HOW QUICKLY YOU CAN SHIFT YOUR FEAR TO LOVE.

               * ALIGN YOUR THOUGHTS WITH LOVE. THE UNIVERSE ALWAYS RESPONDS TO                      THE ENERGY BEHIND YOUR BELIEFS.

              * COMMIT TO YOUR PURPOSE STATEMENT: I AM READY TO LEARN THROUGH                        LOVE.

              * YOU ARE THE DREAMER OF YOUR DREAM. CRETE VISIONS OF THE WORLD                          YOU WANT TO SEE.

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                STAY COMMITTED TO THESE STEPS AS WE CONTINUE ON OUR JOURNEY TOGETHER. EACH CHAPTER WILL BUILD ON THE NEXT, EACH LESSON YOU LEARN WILL SUPPORT WHAT'S TO COME. THE MORE YOU COMMIT TO THESE LESSONS, THE MORE FUN THIS BOOK WILL BE FOR YOU. RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE A CHOICE TO LEARN THROUGH JOY. LET'S GO FOR IT!

                 IN CHAPTER 3 I HELP YOU UNDERSTAND HOW THE UNIVERSE IS ALWAYS GUIDING YOU TO HEAL YOUR FEAR-BASED THOUGHTS AND IMAGES THROUGH DIVINE UNIVERSAL ASSIGNMENTS. IT WILL BE YOUR CHOICE WHETHER YOU WANT TO SHOW UP FOR THESE ASSIGNMENTS. BUT IF YOU DO, GREAT HEALING WILL OCCUR.

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