SPEAK WITH POSITIVE WORDS

 

                                          POSITIVE ONE

                       ONE DAY I WAS HAVING LUNCH WITH A FRIEND IN A COFFE SHOP LOCATED IN A LARGE CONVENTION HOTEL. WHILE WE WERE WAITING FOR OUR LUNCH, WE WERE DISCUSSING NEGATIVE SELF-TALK AND COMMENTING ON HOW WE END UP BECOMING THE RESULT OF WHAT WE SAY TO OURSELVES. DURING OUR DISCUSSION, A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF THAT VERY THING HAPPENDED.

                   AS OUR WAITRESS APPROACHED OUR TABLE WITH BOTH ARMS FILLED WITH PLATES OF FOOD, SHE STUMBLED AND DROPPED AN ARMLOAD OF HOT FOOD ON THE TABLE AND FLOOR IN FRON OF US, AND EXCLAIMED LOUDLY, "OH, I'M SO CLUMSY!".

                  MY FRIEND AND I HAD WITNESSED A FIRSTHAND EXAMPLE OF THE RESULT OF THE SIMPLEST KIND OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK. I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES BEFORE THAT WAITRESS HAD TOLD HERSELF SHE WAS CLUMSY. BUT SHE UNDOUDTEDLY SAID IT TO HERSELF OFTEN ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT IT WAS TRUE, AND TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.

                  AS ANOTHER EXAMPLE, LET'S TAKE SOMETHING AS COMMON AS THE PROBLEM OF NOT BEIG TO REMEMBER NAMES. FOR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS YOU MAY HAVE SAID TO YOURSELF" I CAN NEVER REMEMBER NAMES". THEN ONE EVENING YOU GO TO A PARTY. YOU ARE INTRODUCED TO SOMEONE WHOSE NAME YOU WANT TO REMEMBER AND YOU SAY TO YOURSELF".I AM GOINT TO REMEMBER THIS PERSON'S NAME. WHAT HAPPENS TEN SECONDS LATER? YOU FORGET THE NAME. WHY? BECAUSE FOR THE PAST TWENTY-FIVE YEARS YOU HAVE BEEN TELLING YOURSELF THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL DO. YOU HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMING YOUSELF TO FORGET.

               MINUTES LATER, AT THE PARTY, YOU FIND YOURSELF STANDING THERE, A LITTLE EMBARRED, MENTALLY GOING THROUGH THE ALPHABET, TRYING TO REMEMBER THE PERSON'S NAME. AND MEANWHILE, AS YOU'RE FEELING FORGETFUL AND FOOLISH, YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS, FEELING VERY PROUND IS SAYING, "SEE, I DID WHAT YOU ME TO. I MADE YOU FORGET THE NAME".,

               IF YOUR SELF-TALK, THE DIRECTIONS, YOU WIRI INTO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, WILL DO THAT, DON'T YOU SUPPOSE IT WILL DO WHATEVER ELSE YOU TELL IT TO DO? IF YOU WERE TO REPROGRAM SOMEONE STRONGLY ENOUGH FOR THE TO BELIEVE THAT IT WAS SAFE TO DRIVE UP TO AN INTERSECTION AND TURN THE WRONG WAY INTO ONCOMING TRAFIC, THEY WOULD DO IT. THE HUMAN BRAIN WILL DO ANYTHING POSSIBLE YOU TELL IT TO DO IF YOU TELL IT OFTEN ENOUGH AND STRONGLY ENOUGH. IF YOU TELL IT THE WRONG THING ABOUT YOURSELF, THAT IS WHAT IT WILL ACCEPT - AND ACT UPON.

                THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND DOES NOT SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE STATEMENT THAT WE ARE CLUMSY AND THE STATEMENT THAT WE ARE GRACEFUL, WELL COORDINATED, AND IN CONTROL, IT DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING TOLD THAT WE ARE POOR, AND THE STATEMENT THAT WE ARE WEALTHY. IT ACCEPTS OUR PROGRAMMING JUST AS WE GIVE IT.

                OUR INTERNAL PROGRAMMING MECHANISM TREATS ANYTHING WE TELL IT WITH EQUAL INDIFFERENCE. AS A RESULT, WHEN WE CASUALLY STATE, NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO MAKE ENDS MEET". OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND SAYS, OKAY, I'LL DO MEET". IN TURN IT WILL UNLEASH ITS POWERFUL CONTROL OVER OUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL SELF TO ACHIEVE THE RESULT IT WAS TOLD TO ACCOMPLISH.

                  I MET ONE GENTLEMAN WHOM I WOULD CONSIDER TO BE A FINE MAN, BUT UNFORTUNATE. AFTER TWENTY YEARS OF MARRIAGE, RAISING SEVERAL CHILDREN INTO THEIR TEENS, AND BUILDING A PROFITABLE BUSINESS TO HIS PARTNERS. WHAT INTRIGUED ME ABOUT HIS MAN'S STORY WAS THAT HE TALKED ONLY OF HIS FAILURES, HIS DEFEATS, HIS DOWNFALL, AND THE PROBLEMS HE ANTICIPATED FOR HIS FUTURE. IT WAS SAD TO SEE SOMEONE WITH HIS DEPTH, HIS WARMTH, AND HIS CAPABILITIES COMPLETELY SUBJECTED TO THE FAILURES HE HAD LONG AGO CREATED FOR HIMSELF IN HIS OWN MIND.

                AS WAS THE CASE WITH THAT INDIVIDUALS, OUR BRAINS WILL AFFECT AND INFLUENCE WHAT WE DO IN EVERY AREA OF OUR LIVES, THROUGH THAT COMPLEX PROCESS OF ELECTROCHEMICAL PHYSIOLOGICAL CONTROLS I DESCRIBED EARLIER. IT WILL DIRECTLY AFFECT EVERYTHING ABOUT US, FROM HOW WE GET ALONG WITH SOMEONE AT HOME TO THE AMOUNT OF MONEY WE EARN.

                  A TYPICAL  EXAMPLEOF THIS IS OUR OWN SELF-ACCEPTED BELIEFS ABOUT OUR PERSONAL FINANCIAL CAPABILITIES - OR LIMITATIONS, UNLESS WE CHANGE THE PROGRAMS WE GAVE TO OURSELVES, THE ONES THAT TOLS US WE CAN'T SEEM TO EARN ENOUGH MONEY, OUR SUBCONSCIOUS WILL SUCCESSFULLY ACCOMPLISH ITS PROGRAMMED TASK OF KEEPING US EARNING LESS THAN WE WOULD LIKE. HAD WE GIVEN IT THE RIGHT PROGRAMMING, THAT SAME SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, INSTEAD OF KEEPING US POOR OR OF AVERAGE MEANS, WOULD JUST AS GLADLY HAVE MADE US RICH IN EVERY WAY.

                                    THE MACHINE THAT NEVER SLEEPS

                        YOUR SUBCONSIOUS MIND IS WORKING RIGHT NOW. IT IS WORKING DAY AND NIGHT, TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU BECOME PRECISELY THE PERSON YOU HAVE UNCONSCIOUSLY DESCRIBED YOURSELF TO BE. IF YOUR PROGRAMS PICTURE YOU AS HAVING TROUBLE EARNING ENOUGH INCOME, YOUR SUBCONSIOUS MIND IS DOING EVERYTHING IT CAN, RIGHT NOW, TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVE TROUBLE EARNING MORE MONEY. IF YOU HAVE CONDITIONED YOURSELF TO BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN'T STICK TO A DIET, YOU CAN BE SURE THAT YOUR SUBCONSIOUS MIND WILL MAKE SURE THAT NO DIET WILL WORK FOR YOU - AT LEAST NOT FOR LONG. YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS CAN ONLY DO FOR YOU WHAT YOU (AND OTHERS) TELL IT TO DO.

                     IN A PREVIOUS CHAPTER, I POITED OUT THAT DURING THE FORMATIVE YEARS OF OUR LIVES, EACH OF US IS TOLD "NO" OR WHAT WE CANNOT DO, MANY THOUSANDS OF TIMES. EACH OF THOSE "CANNOTS" WAS A DIRECTIVE TO OUR SUBCONSIOUS MINDS.

                     AND AS WE, BECAUSE OF OUR CONDITIONING, BEGAN TO FOLLOW SUIT AND SAY SIMILAR "CANNOTS" TO OURSELVES, WE FELL INTO THE UNCONSCIOUS HABIT OF PROGRAMMING OURSELVES IN THE SAME WRONG WAY AS DID OUR PARENTS, FRIENDS, AND OTHERS AROUND US. AND RIGHT NOW, AT THIS MOMENT, EACH OF OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MINDS IT WORKING TO MAKE SURE WE BECOME JUST AS THOSE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF NEGATIVE DIRECTIONS PROGRAMMED US TO BE.

                  SINCE THAT TIME, OF COURSE, WE HAVE CONTINUED TO GIVE OURSELVES NEW PROGRAMS. THE EXAMPLES OF NEGATIVE STATEMENTS I GAVE YOU EARLIER ARE ONLY A FEW LEAVES IN A FOREST OF NEGATIVE SELF -TALK. INFACT, MOST OF OUR AVERAGE, HABIT-FORMED, EVERYDAY SELF- TALK IS MADE UP OF THE QUIET NUDGES OF SELF-DOUBT, THE UNSPOKEN FEARS OF LITTLE (OR GRAND) FAILURES, AND THE NAGGING DISCOMFORT OF KNOWING THAT THINGS AREN'T RIGHT.

                 WHEN WE TALK TO OUR FRIENDS, IT SOMETIMES SEEMS EASIER TO TALK ABOUT PROBLEMS THAN ABOUT EXCITING POTENTIAL. OUR DAILY CONVERSATION SCRIPTS OFTEN SOUND LIKE THEY WERE WRITTEN BY THE SAME EDITORS WHO WRITE THE HEADLINES FOR THE LATEST VIRAL BAD NEWS STORY. WE LIVE, IN OUR POORLY PROGRAMMED UNCONSCIOUS MINDS, IN THE DISQUIETING SHADOW-WORLD OF UNCERTAINLY BELIEVING THAT WE SHOULD BE ACHIEVING, BUT NOT KNOWING WHY, AFTER SO MUCH FRUSTRATION AND TRYING, WE ARE NOT.

                 BY THE TIME MOST OF US REACH ADULTHOOD, WE ARE SO CONDITIONED TO THINK IN A CERTAIN WAY THAT OUR PATTERN OF SELF-TALK BECOMES HABIT THAT IS PHYSICALLY WIRED INTO OUR BRAINS. IT IS FIXED. AND FOR MOST IT REMAINS THAT WAY. HOW WE LOOK AT LIFE, WHAT WE BELIEVE ABOUT OURSELVES, HOW WE VIEW ANYTHING, AND WHAT WE DO ABOUT IT. GETS FILTERED THROUGH OUR PRECONCEPTIONS.

                     WE HAVE TOLD OURSELVES OVER AND OVER, CONSCIOUSLY AND UNCONSCIOUSLY, WHAT DOES NOT WORK. IN THE PAST, TOO OFTEN WE LEARNED TO AUTOMATICALLY BELIEVE THE WORST FIRST, AND THE BEST LAST. BUT NOW WE HAVE LEARNED THAT IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. THERE IS SOMETHING, STARTING RIGHT NOW, THAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. IT IS THE KEY TO HOW YOU MANAGE YOURSELF, AND HOW YOU LIVE AND MANAGE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

SELT-TALK IN PRESENT TENSE

 

                                        PRESENT TENSE

      

                                  ALL POSITIVE SELT-TALK, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF SITUATIONAL SELF-TALK, IS WRITTEN, READ, RECORDED, LISTENED TO, THOUGHT, AND SPOKEN IN THE PRESENT TENSE. IT IS ALWAYS STATED AS THOUGH THE DESIRED CHANGE HAS ALREADY TAKEN PLACE. BY DOING THIS, YOU ARE GIVING YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND A COMPLETED PICTURE OF THE ACCOMPLISHED TASK, YOU ARE PRESENTING YOUR CONTROL CENTER WITH THE COMMAND THAT SAYS, "THAT IS WHAT I CHOOSE. THIS IS THE 'ME' I WANT YOU TO CREATE FOR ME". THE MORE FINISHED OR COMPLETE THE PICTURE, THE MORE SPECIFIC THE DIRECTIONS YOU ARE GIVING YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND WILL BE.

                        WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE NEW DIRECTIONS TO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS YOU WOULD NOT SAY, AS AN EXAMPLE, " I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT". WHEN YOU SAY, "I AM GOING TO... WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY TELLING YOUR CONTROL CENTER? TOMORROW, LATTER, SOME OTHER TIME, I'LL LOSE WEIGHT IN THE FUTURE (I'M GOING TO) BUT FOR NOW, KEEP ME LIKE I AM". AND TOMORROW NEVER COMES.

                        STATE YOUR GOAL OR THE RESULT YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE IN THE PRESENT TENSE. BECAUSE THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS TRUE AND WHAT IS NOT, IN  TIME IT WILL ACCEPT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING IT AND ACT ON IT. BUT REMEMBER, IT WILL ATTEMPT TO FOLLOW THE EXACT WORDING OF THE DIRECTIONS YOU ARE GIVING IT.

                      I ALWAYS DO EVERYTHING I NEED TO DO, WHEN I NEED TO DO IT.

                      I NEVER ARGUE OR LET MY EMOTIONS WORK AGAINST ME.

                      I DON'T SMOKE.

                      I HAVE A GOOD MEMORY. I EASILY AND AUTOMATICALLY REMEMBER ANY                          NAME OR ANYTHING THAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

                      I EAT ONLY WHAT I SHOULD.

                      I AM A GOOD LISTENER. I HEAR EVERYTHING THAT IS SAID. I AM                                            ATTENTIVE, INTERESTED, AND AWARE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS                                         GOING ON AROUND YOU.

                     I HAVE THE COURAGE TO STATE MY OPINIONS. I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY                            FOR  MYSELF AND EVERYTHING I SAY AND DO.

                     I NEVER SPEND MORE THAN I EARN. I AM FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE,                                 BOTH FOR MY PRESENT AND FOR MY FUTURE.

                    I SET GOALS AND I FOLLOW THEM. I SET MY SIGHTS, TAKE THE                                             APPROPRIATE ACTION, AND ACHIEVE MY GOAL.

                    I SPEND TIME WITH MY FAMILY AND MY LOVED ONE, I ENJOY SHARING                              THEIR LIVES WITH MINE AND MY LIFE WITH THEIRS.

                       EACH OF THESE EXAMPLES OF POSITIVE SELF-TALK DEALS DIRECTLY WITH "HABITS" - CONDITIONED STYLES OF BEHAVIOR THAT FRUSTRATE US OR HOLD US BACK. IN EACH CASE, THE EXAMPLES STATE THE CHANGE IN THE PRESENT TENSE, AS THOUGH THE DESIRED RESULT HAS ALREADY TAKEN PLACE, BUT EACH EXAMPLE STATES ONLY A SINGLE SELF-TALK PHRASE OR TWO OUT OF MANY THAT, IN ACTUAL PRACTICE, YOU WOULD USE TO CREATE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO MAKE.

                   WHEN YOU ARE USING SELF-TALK TO CHANGE A HABIT, AFFECT AN ATTITUDE, OR CREATE INTERNAL MOTIVATION, IT WORKS MOST EFFECTIVELY WHEN YOU BUILD A SOLID BODY OF SELF-TALK AROUND THE SUBJECT YOU ARE WORKING ON. ONE PHRASE OF THE RIGHT KIND OF SELF-TALK CAN HAVE AN EFFECT ON YOUR BEHAVIOR, BUT IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU PAINT AN ENTIRELY NEW PICTURE FOR YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND THAT YOU WILL DERIVE THE FULL BENEFIT FROM YOUR SELF-TALK.

                 IF YOU WERE TO CHOOSE ONE OF THE EXAMPLES WE JUST USED, AND WANTED TO CHANGE AN OLD HABIT BY USING JUST ONE SELF-TALK PHRASE ONLY, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU REPEATED THAT BIT OF SELL-TALK, IT WOULD HAVE ONLY LIMITED RESULTS, INSTEAD, START WITH THAT ONLY PHRASE AND EXTEND IT, AND TO IT, AND COVER EVERY PART OF THE PROBLEM BY INCLUDING SELT-TALK PHRASES THAT COVER EVERY HIDDEN CORNER.

               REMEMBER, YOUR NEW SELF-TALK IS THE NAVIGATION SYSTEM YOU'RE USING TO CHART YOUR NEW DESTINATION AND DETERMINE YOUR COURSE, DIRECTION, ALTITUDE, AND SPEED. SO BE SPECIFIC AND BE THROUGH. DON'T EXPECT VAGUE DIRECTIONS, HINTS OF SOLUTIONS, AND SHADOWS OF EXPECTATIONS TO GET YOU WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

                                                      BE SPECIFIC

                    WHEN YOU USE SELF-TALK, LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED. ISOLATE THE PROBLEM, LOOK AT IT FROM EVERY ANGLE, MAKE A LISTG OF EVERY AREA WITHIN THAT PROBLEM, AND ADD A LINE OF SELF-TALK TO COVER IT. WHILE I HAVE FOUND FEW PROBLEMS THAT CAN BE SOLVED WITH A SINGLE PHRASE OR TWO OF SELF-TALK, I HAVE FOUND THAT IN MOST CASES ANY SPECIFIC PROBLEM OR GOAL CAN BE COVERED WITH AS FEW AS A DREAM OR SO WELL-WORDED SELF-TALK PHRASE.

                  LET'S LOOK AT AN EXAMPLE OF SELF-TALK FOR CHANGING HABITS. IN THIS INSTANCE WE'LL USE SELF-TALK TO TACKLE A HABIT THAT HOLDS A LOT OF PEOPLE BACK FROM REACHING THEIR FULL POTENTIAL - THE HABIT OF WASTING TIME ON WORRY. CONQUERING JUST THIS ONE NEGATIVE HABIT HAS TURNED UNDERACHIEVERS INTO WINNERS AND GIVEN THEM EXTRA TIME, PEACE OF MIND, AND A FRESH NEW OUTLOOK ON LIFE.

                      ONCE AGAIN, WHEN YOU READ THE EXAMPLES OF HABIT-CHANGING SELF-TALK, NOTICE THAT THE SELF-TALK DOESN'T HUST TALK ABOUT THE SYMPTOMS - IT BREAKS THE OLD HABIT DOWN AND GETS AT ITS ROOTS. THE NEW POSITIVE SELF-TALK COVERS THE PROBLEM FROM EVERY ANGLE. YOU SHOULD, BY READING THESE FEW PHRASES OF SELF-TALK COVERS THE PROBLEM FROM EVERY ANGLE. YOU SHOULD, BY READING THESE FEW PHRASES OF SELF-TALK, VERY QUICKLY RECOGNIZE THAT  THE DIFFERENCE IT CAN MAKE IS NOT ONE THAT WILL OCCUR BY USING JUST A SIMPLE PHRASES OR TWO.

                    SELF-TALK IS AT ITS STRONGEST AND MOST EFFECTIVE WHEN IT IS COMPOSED OF A SPECIFIC SET OF CONCISELY WORDED DIRECTIONS - USUALLY A GROUP OF DOZEN OR MORE COMBINED PHRASES, LINKED OF THE BETTER YOU THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO BECOME, OR THE CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE YOU WOULD LIKE TO CREATE.

                     IN THIS EXAMPLE THE OLD HABIT HAS BEEN SUPPORTED WITH DAILY NEGATIVE SELF-TALK - THE KIND WE TALKED ABOUT EARLIER. "NO MATTER WHAT I DO, IM STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME". I JUST CAN'T RELAX, OR THE PROBLEMS IN MY LIFE NEVER STOP. I CAN'T GET A BREAK!, THAT'S THE OLD PROGRAMMING. BUT THE NEW HABIT CHANGING SELF-TALK LOOKS AT ALL OF THOSE THINGS DIFFERENTLY.

                   IN THE FOLLOWING SELF-TALK, WATCH EVERY PHRASES FOR THE PICTURE IT PRESENTS, NOTE THE INSTRUCTIONS THAT ARE BEING GIVEN, WORK FOR WORD, THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND OF THE INDIVIDUALS WHO USED TO THINK THAT STRESS AND WORRY WERE DESTINED TO BE A PERMENT PROBLEM.

                  THIS IS THE KIND OF POWERFUL SELF-TALK THAT CREATES  A COMPLETELY, NEW, BETTER MENTAL ENVIROMENT. IN THIS EXAMPLE, IT SHOWS YOU A NATURAL, NEW PICTURE OF YOURSELF ACTUALLY BEING THE WORRY-FIRE, MORE PRODUCTIVE PERSON PERSON YOU WOULD LIKE TO BECOME.

                                                                         👀👀👀

TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

 

                                                         ABOUT YOURSELF

                          PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IS AT THE ROOT OF EVERYTHING WE THINK, DO, CONCEIVE, FAIL AT, OR ACHIEVE IN OUR LIVES. IT IS THE BEDROCK OF ALL INDIVIDUAL ACTION. RESPONSIBILITY DOES NOT MEAN "DUTY" BURDE". IT IS NOT THE MEASURE OF OUR LIABILITY OR OUR ACCOUNTABILITY. IT IS THE BASIS OF OUR INDIVIDUAL DETERMINATION TO RESPOND TO LIFE AND TO FULLFILL OURSELVES WITHIN IT.

                    THE DAY YOU WERE BORN, THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THERE WERE FEW OTHER PEOPLE AROUND HELPING YOU INTO THE WORLD. YOUR MOTHER WAS THERE, PROBABLY A DOCTOR, AND MAYBE A NURSE TO TWO. BUT NO MATTER WHO PATTED YOU ON THE BACKSIDE WHEN YOU CAME STRUGGLING INTO HUMAN LIFE, YOU TOOK YOUR FIRST BREATH ALONE. NO MATTER WHAT HELP YOU MAY HAVE RECEIVED, YOU TOOK THAT FIRST BREATH BY YOURSELF. AND THE NEXT BREATHE, AND THE NEXT. YOU DID THAT. YOU MAY HAVE HAD SOME HELP ALONG THE WAY, BUT THE BREATHS YOU TOOK WERE YOUR OWN. NO ONE BREATHED THEM FOR YOU.

                   ONE DAY, EACH OF US WILL DIE. IF YOU HAVE EVER STOOD AT THE BEDSIDE OF SOMEONE WHO WAS PASSING OUT OF THIS WORLD, YOU KNOW THAT NO MATTER HOW TIGHTLY YOU MIGHT HAVE HELD THAT LOVED ONE'S HAND, THEIR LAST BREATH WAS BREATHED ALONE. WHEN YOU OR I TAKE OUR LAST BREATH, IN EARTHLY MATTERS, WE WILL BREATHE IT ALONE.

                     IN SPIRIT OF EVERYTHING THAT ANYONE CAN DO TO HELP, IN SPITE OF THE DOCTORS AND THE ASSISTANTS, IN SPITE OF THE NEEDS AND TEARS OF THOSE WHO STAY BEHIND, WHEN WE LEAVE, WE WILL LEAVE ALONE. THERE MAY BE ABUNDANT SPIRITS TO GUIDE US, BUT OF THOSE WE LEAVE ON EARTH BEHIND US, NOT ONE OF THEM CAN SHARE THAT JOURNEY WITH US. WE TAKE OUR FIRST BREATH BY OURSELVES, AND WE TAKE OUR LAST BREATH BY OURSELVES.

                 HOW, THEN, IT IS THAT SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN, IN THAT TIME WE CALL LIFE, WE EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO OUR BREATHING FOR US?

                NO ONE WILL EVER BREATHE ONE BREATH FOR US. NO ONE WILL EVER THINK ONE THOUGHT THAT IS OURS. NO ONE WILL EVER STAND IN OUR BODIES, EXPERIENCE WHAT HAPPENS TO US, FEEL OUR FEARS, DREAM OUR DREAMS, OR CRY OUR TEARS. WE ARE BORN, LIVE AND LEAVE THIS LIFE ENTIRELY ON OUR OWN. THAT "SELF" AND THE DIVINE SPIRIT THAT DRIVES IT, ARE WHAT WE HAVE. NO ONE ELSE CAN EVER A SINGLE MOMENT OF OUR LIVES FOR US. THAT WE MUST DO FOR OURSELVES. THAT IS RESPONSIBILITY.

                  HYPNOSIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A REPLACEMENT FOR THE RESPONSIBILITY EACH OF US HAS TO MANAGE OUR OWN MINDS. IT IS, RATHER, A TOOL THAT MAY HELP US, AT LEAST TEMPORARILY, OVERRIDE SOME OF THE PROGRAMME WE HAVE THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO CHANGE QUICKLY.

                BUT PRACTICING POSITIVE SELF-TALK AS A WAY OF LIFE PLAYS A GREATER ROLE THAN THAT. WITH ACTIVE, DAILY SELF-TALK, YOU, PERSONALITY, ARE TAKIG COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF. YOU ARE CONSCIOUSLY IN CONTROL AND IN CHARGE OF THE MUCH BROADER SCOPE OF PROGRAMS THAT AFFECT EVERY FACET OF YOUR ATTITUDES AND YOUR BEHAVIOR.

                                     THE CHALLENGES TO CHANGING

                 THERE ARE TWO CHALLENGES IN CHANGING FROM THINKING NEGATIVELY TO THINKING POSITIVELY. THE FIRST CHALLENGE CONFRONTS THOSE WHO BELIEVE THAT POSITIVE THINKING, BY ITSELF, FIXES EVERYTHING. IT DOESN'T JUST "BELIEVING" EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT, WITHOUT CREATING AN ACTION PLAN TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM, WILL ONLY END IN DISAPPOINTMENT, AND ANY NOTION OF BECOMING A TRUE POSITIVE THINKER WILL SOON FADE AWAY. (WE EVEN HAVE TERM FOR THINKING THAT IS TOO POSITIVE. POLLYANNA THINKING) BUT THE KIND OF POSITIVE THINKING, AND THE POSITIVE SELF-TALK WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IN THIS CHAPTER, IS ALSO RESPONSIBLE THINKING. IT MAY BE OPTIMISTIC,  BUT IT IS ALSO PRACTICAL AND REALISTIC. THANKS TO THE LEFT PREFRONTAL CORTEX, YOUR BRAIN LOOKS FOR THE BEST SOLUTION UNTIL IT FINDS IT.

                  THE SECOND CHALLENGE IN CHANGING FROM NEGATIVE THINKING TO POSITIVE THINKING IS THAT JUST TELLING YOURSELF YOU'RE GOING TO BE MORE POSITIVE IN THE FUTURE DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY REWIRE YOUR BRAIN TO BE THAT WAY. YOU CAN SET A GOAL TO BE MORE OPTIMISTIC, YOU TAKE THE TIME TO REWIRE YOUR BRAIN WITH NEW POSITIVE PROGRAMS. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.

THE NEW TECHNNIQUE

 

                                               THE WAY YOU ARE THINK

                    THE TECHNIQUE THAT MAKE SELF-TALK WORK SO WELL ARE SIMPLY, AND THEY ARE SURPRISINGLY EASY TO USE. SOME OF THE  TECHNIQUE REQUIRE SPENDING TIME USING THEM, BUT SOME OF THE TECHNIQUE REQUIRE NO TIME ALL. THERE ARE FIVE DIFFERENT METHODS FOR USING SELF-TALK , YOU MAY CHOOSE TO USE SOME OF ALL OF THEM.

        

                                                     SILENT SELF-TALK

 

                   THIS IS THE SELF-TALK THAT GOES ON ALL THE TIME, ALTHOUGH WE ARE USUALLY NOT AWARE OF IT. SILENT SELF-TALK CAN BE EITHER TO CONSCIOUS OR ANCONSCIOUS INTERNAL DIALOGUE. WHEN YOU BEGIN TO REPLACE OLD NEGATIVE SELF-TALK WITH NEW POSITIVE SELF-TALK, THIS IS ONE OF THE EASIEST AND MOST NATURAL TECHNIQUE TO USE.

                      EVEN NOW, AFTER JUST BECOMING AWARE OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK OF LEVEL 1 AND LEVEL 2, THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS STARTING TO USE THE POSITIVE SELF-TALK OF LEVEL3 AND LEVEL4 WHEN YOU SILENTLY TALK TO YOURSELF. IT IS AN EASY CHANGE TO MAKE. IT TAKES MORE AWARENESS THAN EFFECT, AND SOON BECOMES A NATURAL AND AUTOMATIC SELF-TALK HABIT.

                 SILENT SELF-TALK INCLUDES ANYTHIG AND EVERYTHING YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF OR ANYTHING ELSE AROUND YOU. IT IS THAT SUBTLE SHIFT IN YOUR ATTITUDE FROM EVER AGAIN LOOKING AT THINGS IN A NEGATIVE, WAY TO LOOKING AT EVERYTHIG IN A MORE POSITIVE, PRODUCTIVE WAY.

                  INSTEAD OF WALKING UP IN THE MORNING AND TELLING YOURSELF YOU WISH YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED,YOUR NEW SELF-TALK SHOULD TELL YOU THAT IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE - AND IT'S TIME TO GET AT IT. SINCE MOST OF THOSE THIGS WE CALL PROBLEMS ARE REALLY ONLY PERCEIVED AS PROBLEMS, THE WAY YOU LOOK AT EACH OF THEM DETERMINES WHETHER THEY REALLY ARE NOT, YOU NEED ONLY TELL YOURSELF TO SEE THEM IN A BETTER WAY. I YOU THINK AND MIGHT SOUND A LITTLE TOO EASY, IT IS FOR A DAY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

                 REMEMBER, WHEN YOU BEGIN REPHRASING YOUR SELF-TALK FROM THE OLD TO THE NEW, YOUR OLD PROGRAMMING WILL TRY TO TALK YOU OUT OF IT. SO WHEN YOU GET STARTED, START FIRST WITH THE DECISION TO NOT LISTEN TO THE EARLIER NEGATIVE PROGRAM, WHICH TRIES TO TELL YOU THAT IT WON'T WORK. REMEMBER, TOO, THAT YOUR OLD SELF-TALK IS A HABIT. IT FEELS NATURAL AND IT FEELS COMFORTABLE. EVEN IF IT IS NEGATIVE. BY KNOWING WHAT TO EXPECT, YOU WILL BE READY TO MEET THAT OLD SELF-TALK HEAD ON, OVERRIDE IT, AND BEGIN BUILDING A NEW HABIT.

                 WITHIN EVEN A DAY OR TWO, YOU WILL START TO NOTICE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BEEN SAYING TO YOURSELF THAT COULD WORK AGAINST YOU. WHEN YOU HAVE MADE THE DECISION TO THROW THE OLD FURNITURE OUT OF YOUR MENTAL APARTMENT, YOU'LL KOW WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO BRING IT BACK IN. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. GET TOUGH! KEEP IT OUT. 

                AS YOU GET STARTED, DURING EACH DAY, LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU SAY WHEN YOU TALK TO YOURSELF. MAKE MENTAL NOTE OF ANYTHING YOU THINK OR SAY TO YOURSELF THAT SOUND LIKE THE WRONG KIND OF SELF-TALK, AND IMMEDIATELY TURN IT AROUND AND REPHRASE IT IN THE POSITIVE. I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET ORGANIZED TODAY. IMMEDIATELY BECOME "I AM ORGANISED AND IN CONTROL, TODAY ESPECIALLY. WHEN YOU HEAR YOURSELF SAY SOMETHING LIKE. I'VE REALLY GOT A PROBLEM WITH THIS. TURN IT AROUND AND SAY, "I CAN HANDLE THIS! I'M CAPABLE PERSON AND I HANDLE PROBLEMS WELL". I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO LOSE WEIGHT". BECOMES "LOSING WEIGHT IS NEVER A PROBLEM FOR ME. I EAT EXACTLY WHAT I SHOULD AND ONLY THE RIGHT HEALTHY AMOUNT - I 'M LOSING WEIGHT AND LOOKING GREAT!.

                INSTEAD OF TELLING YOURSELF THT YOU'RE TIRE - AT A TIME OF THE DAY WHEN YOU CAN'T AFFOR TO BE TIRED - IMMEDIATELY TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU HAVE PLENTY OF ENERGY ENTHUSIAM. AND IF IT DOESN'T SUDDENLY MAKE YOU JUMP UP AND DOWN WITH ENERGY, THAT'S OKAY, YOU'RE WORKING ON A WHOLE NEW WAY TO TALK TO YOURSELF, AND YOU ARE STARTING TO GIVE YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND A NEW SET OF DIRECTIONS. JUST KEEP DOING IT EVERY CHANCE YOU GET, AND IT WILL START TO WORK FOR YOU. HOW WE FEEL". TIRED OR ENERGETIC, LISTLESS OR ENTHUSIASTIC- IS MENTAL AMD CHEMICAL, IT IS PHYSIALOGICAL.

                THINK OF A TIME WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO EVEN GET UP OUT OF THE CHAIR. IT HAS BEEN A LONG DAY, YOU WORKED HARD AND YOU ARE PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY EXHAUSED. THEN THE PHONE RINGS, AND IT IS JUST THE RIGHT PHONE CALL AT JUST THE RIGHT MOMENT, SOMEONE CALLING WITH GOOD NEWS, OR SOMEONE WHO IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD TO YOU. WHAT SUDDENLY HAPPENS TO YOUR ENERGY? WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR ENTHUSIAM? A SURGE OF ADRENALINE HITS YOUR SYSTEM AND BRINGS YOU BACK TO LIFE INSTANTLY.

                  HAS ANYTHING REALLY CHANGED? JUST THE SIGNALS YOU SENT TO YOUR BRAIN, AND , IN TURN, THE SWITCHES YOUR BRAIN TURNED ON FOR YOU, SENDING MESSAGE TO EVERY PART OF YOUR BRAIN TURNED ON FOR YOU, SENDING MESSAGS TO EVERY PART OF YOUR SYSTEM TELLING YOU TO SUDDENLY FEEL GREAT, WHEN ONLY MOMENTS BEFORE YOU COULN'T GET OUT OF THE CHAIR.

                 MANY OF THE MESSAGES YOU GIVE YOURSELF THROUGH YOUR SILENT SELF-TALK MAY NOT BE US OBVIOUS. BUT THE BRAIN RESPONDS JUST AS IMMEDIATELY AND PRODUCES RESULTS, WHETHER THEY ARE NOTICED OR NOT, THAT ARE JUST AS POWERFUL. REMEMBER, THE THOUGHTS YOU THINK ARE ELECTRICAL IMPULSES THAT DIRECT THE BRAIN TO TURN IMPORTANT SWITCHES IN YOUR MENTAL CONTROL CENTER ON OR OFF. BY REPLACING YOUR EARLIER NEGATIVE OR NEUTRAL SELF-TALK WITH NEW COMMANDS, YOU ARE ACTIVATING HEALTHY, PRODUCTIVE CHEMICAL AND ELECTRICAL CONTROL CENTERS IN YOUR BRAIN THAT WILL AUTOMATICALLY WORK FOR YOU INSTEAD OF AGAINST YOU.

                  WE HAVE ALL EXPERIENCED TIMES ONE ARGUMENT IN THE MORNING CAN RUIN THE WHOLE DAY, CHANGE THE PROGRAMMING. REPHRASE YOUR SILEN THOUGHT TO YOURSELF. INSTEAS OF LOSING A DAY TO DEPRESSION OR DEJECTION, YOU WILL GAIN ONE MORE PRECIOUS DAY OF WORTH WHILE ACCOMPLISHMENT. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER EMOTIONALLY, YOU WILL BE HEALTHIER, BOTH MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY, AND YOU WILL GET ALONG BETTER WITH OTHERS. INSTEAD OF CHALKING THE DAY UP AS A LOSS, YOU WILL HAVE EARNED YOURSELF ANOTHER WIN.

 

                                                                    

SELF TALK

 

                                               BY IMPROVING YOURSELF 

                                                        WITH SELF TALK

               A TYPICAL EXAMPLE OF THE STORIES I 'M TOLD IS FOUND IN A LETTER I RECEIVED FROM A WOMAN WHO, AFTER ATTENDING A SEMINAR ON SELF-TALK HAD DECIDED TO LISTEN TO RECORDED SELF-TALK TO HELP HER WITH HER "FAMILY RELATIONSHIP"- IN PARTICULAR, HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER HUSBAND. THINGS HADN'T BEEN GOING TOO WELL FOR THEM, FINANCIALLY OR OTHERWISE, AND SHE WANTED TO PUT THINGS STRAIGHT, MEANWHILE, HER HUSBAND WAS SHOWING ALL THE SIGNS OF MAKING A SHOW BUT PREDICTABLE DEPARTURE FROM THE RELATIONSHIP.

                THE WOMAN HAD GRADUATED FROM WRITING SELF-TALK CARDS AND READING THEM TO HERSELF, TO LISTENING TO RECORDED SELF-TALK. SHE LISTENED TO A SESSION ON IMPROVING PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, A SESSION ON SELF-ESTEEM, A SESSION ON GOAL-SETTING, AND ANOTHER SESSION ON TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF. SHE LISTENED TO SELF-TALK EACH MORNING, WHEN SHE COULD DURING DAY, AND EACH NIGHT HUST BEFORE SHE WENT TO SLEEP. TO LISTEN TO THE SELF-TALK, SHE LET THE SESSIONS PLAY ALOUD, BUT IN THE BACKGROUND. ACCORDING TO HER, WHEN SHE FIRST BEGAN PLAING THE POSITIVE SELF-TAKE INT HE BACKGROUND, HER HUSBAND COULD NOT HAVE CARED LESS.

                  BUT AFTER A WEEK OR TWO, HER HUSBAND TOOK HER TO DINNER ONE EVENING, AND DURING DINNER THEY DISCUSSED THE SELF-TALK SHE WAS LISTENING TO. HE STILL SHOWED EVERY SIGN OF DISINTEREST IN THE SELF-TALK THE NEXT DAY, BUT AS SHE HAD LEARNED IN THE SEMINAR. DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR SELF-TALK. JUST KEEP DOINT IT.

             BY THE END OF THE THIRD WEEK, HER HUSBAND ASKED HER TO REPLAY ONE OF THE SESSION SHE HAD BEEN PLAYING WHILE THEY WERE GETTING DRESSED ONE MORNING. EARLIER, SHE HAD NOTICED THAT THEY WERE ARGUING LESS, BUT UNTIL THAT MORNING, HE HAD NEVER SHOWN ANY ACTIVE INTEREST IN THE SELF-TALK SHE WAS LISTENING TO EACH DAY. SHORTLY THEREAFTER,THE HUSBAND BEGAN TO EXHIBIT NOTICEABLE PROBLEMS THE HAD BEEN HAVING ON HIS JOB.

                  THE END RESULT WAS THAT BOTH OF THEM BEGAN TO TALK MORE, STARTED MAKING SOME NEW PLANTS, AND STARTED WORKING TOGETHER AGAIN. HER SELF-TALK  HAD THE SAME EFFECT ON HIM AS IT DID ON HER! IT MADE NO DIFFERENCE WHETHER HE BELIEVED IN THE SELF-TALK OR NOT. HIS SUBCONSCIOUS  MIND DIDN'T CARE IT SIMPLY ACTED ON THE NEW INFORMATION HE WAS UNCONSIOUSLY PROGRAMMING. HE WAS, WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT, ACCEPTING THE NEW, MORE POSITIVE PROGRAMMING THAT BEING PLAYED AS A BACKGROUND TO THIER DAILY LIVES. INITIALLY, ONE OF THEM, 'BELIEVED' AND THE OTHER DID NOT. IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

                  IN YOUR OWN PRACTICE OF SELF-TALK, THE IMMEDIATELY HELPING THING YOU CAN DO IS TO LISTEN TO SELF-TALK. MANY PEOPLE START WITH LISTENING TO THE SELF-TALK SESSION THAT ARE DESIGNED TO HELP THEM REACH THEIR GOALS. THAT'S BECAUSE THE ARE OF GOAL-SETTING AND GOAL ACHIEVEMENT IS WHERE ISTHE EXTERNAL RESULTS OF THE INTERNAL CHANGES YOU'RE MAKING ARE LIVED OUT IN EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR DAY, AND YOU CAN SEE THE FIRST RESULTS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. SINCE SELF-TALK SESSIONS CAN NOW BE STREAMED DIRECTLY TO YOUR SMARTPHONE OR ANY LISTENING DEVICE, LISTENING IN THIS WAY HAS BECOME VERY POPULAR, AND IT'S ALSO PRACTICAL.

                   LISTENING TO RECORDED SELF-TALK SESSIONS HAS SOME ADVANTAGES GOING FOR IS THAT ARE AS YET UNRIVALED IN THE SELF-DEVELOPMENT FIELD. THE FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT ADVANTAGES IS THAT YOU CAN LISTEN TO PASSIVE SELF-TALK THAT IS WRITING YOUR BRAIN AND IMPROVING YOUR LIFE WHILE YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING ELSE. YOU DONT HAVE TO FOCUS ON LISTENING. BECAUSE THE SELF-TALK IS BEING PLAYED LOUD ENOUGH TO BE HEARD, AND IT'S CLEARLY AUDIBLE, EVEN IF IT'S PLAYING SOFTLY IN THE BACKGROUND, YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND WILL BE LISTENING, AND IT WILL BE BUSILY PROGRAMMING THE NEW POSITIVE INFORMATION ABOUT YOU WHETHER YOU'RE CONNSCIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT IT OR NOT.

                   ANOTHER ADVANTAGE TO LISTENING IS THAT DOING SO WITH TODAY'S, TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANTAGES IS ESPECIALLY CONVENIENT - SO ITS A TOOL YOU ACTUALLY END UP USING. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TAP ON THE MENU OF SELF-TALK SESSIONS LISTED ON THE SCREEN OF YOUR SMARTPHONE, SELECT THE SUBJECT YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO THAT DAY, AND START LISTENING. WRITING OUT SCRIPTS OF SELF-BELIEF, READING AND REREADING A BOOK, OR TRYING TO STUDY A COURSE IN SELF-ACHIEVEMENT.

                   YET ANOTHER IMPORTANT ADVANTAGE IS THAT THE RECORDED SESSION, BECAUSE  THEY ARE AVAILABLE ANYTIME WE WANT TO LISTEN OR ANYTIME WE NEED THEIR HELP, GIVE US A "COACH" THAT USES THE RIGHT SELF-TALK TO GIVE US IMMEDIATE EXTERNAL MOTIVATION WHEN WE MINDS WITH A WINNING SCRIPT OF INTERNAL MOTIVATION TO GIVE US LISTENING RESULTS.

                   ONE OF MY FAVORITE SELF-TALK SESSION SIS TITLED, "BELIEVING IN INCREDIBLE YOU". IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LISTEN TO THAT SESSION WITHOUT FEELING OF LISTENING. AND WHILE IT IS GEARING ME UP AND GETTING ME GOING, FILLING ME WITH THE KIND OF ENTHUSIASM THAT TURNS AN AVERAGE DAY INTO AN EXCEPTIONAL DAY, IT IS ALSO CAREFULLY AND BUSILY REPROGRAMMING ME TO MAKE EVERY DAY MORE EFFECTIVE, MORE PRODUCTIVE, MORE SELF-FULFILLING IN EVERY WAY. 

                      LISTENING TO THAT KIND OF SELF-TALK SESSION IS LIKE HAVING, A PERSONAL COACH, A BEST FRIEND, STANDING AT YOUR SIDE, ENCOURAGING, MOTIVATING, UPLIFTING, BELIEVING, AND PUSHIBG YOU FORWARD THAT DAY, THAT MOMENT, HELPING YOU EXTRACT AND ACHIEGVE THE BEST FROM YOURSELF.

                   IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO AVAIL YOURSELF OF ONE OF THE MOST WORTHWHILE METHODS OF SETTING UP YOUR OWN FUTURE TO THE GOOD, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO LISTEN TO SELF-TALK. OF ALL THE WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF-TALK LISTENING TO THE RIGHT SELF-TALK IS THE MOST IMMEDIATELY HELPFUL AND THE MOST ENDURING. JUST TAP THE SCREEN, GO ABOUT YOUR DAY, AND LET IT PLAY. YOUR SUBCONSIOUS MIND WILL BE LISTENING.

                                                                           👀👀👀

THE SELF - MANAGEMENT SEQUENCE

 

 

                            THE FIVE STEPS THAT CONTROL OUR

                                       SUCCESS OR FAILURE

                                      1. BEHAVIOR

                      THE STEP THAT MOST DIRECTLY CONTROLS OUR SUCCESS OR FAILURE IS OUR BEHAVIOR - WHAT WE DO OR DO NOT DO. BEHAVIOR OUR ACTIONS. HOW WE ACT, WHAT WE DO, EACH MOMENT OF EACH DAY WILL DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT WE WILL BE SUCCESSFUL THAT MOMENT OR THAT DAY IN ANYTHING THAT WE DO. THE RIGHT SERIES OF THE RIGHT ACTIONS WILL ALWAYS END UP MAKING THINGS WORK BETTER THAN THE WRONG SERIES OF THE WRONG ACTIONS. IN MOST CAUSES, IF YOU DO THE RIGHT THING, YOU'RE GOING TO ACHIEVE THE RIGHT RESULTS.

                 THIS STEP INVOLVES EVEN THE SIMPLEST LEVEL OF BEHAVIOR. AS AN EXAMPLE, IF YOU LIKE YOUR JOB,DO THE RIGHT THING AT THE RIGHT TIME, AND KEEP AT IT, THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THAT YOUR JOB WILL DO WELL FOR YOU. IF, ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU DO NOT LIKE YOUR WORK AND DO THINGS THAT WORK AGAINST YOU ON THE JOB, IT WON'T WORK AS WELL FOR YOU.

                 LET'S USEANOTHER EXAMPLE, IF A STUDENT IN SCHOOL REFUSES TO STUDY, NEVER PAYS ATTENTION, AND MISSES A LOT OF CLASSS (ALL BEHAVIOR) WILL THE STUDENT DO WELL IN SCHOOL? PROBABLY NOT. IF THAT STUDENT BEHAVIOR IN A WAY THAT SAYS, "I DONT LIKE BEING WHERE I AM, HIS OR HER BEHAVIOR WILL ULTIMATELY CAUSE A PROBLEM. THE GOOD GRADES WON'T SHOW UP, AND IF SOMETHING DOESN'T CHANGE, EVENTUALLY NEITHER WILL THE STUDENT.

                 THE SAME IS TRUE OF YOUR HOME LIKE. IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHERE YOU ARE IN YOUR HOME LIFE, WHAT WILL YOU DO? IF YOU ARE LIKE MOST OF US,IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER , YOUR BEHAVIOR, YOUR ACTIONS WILL ALERT THOSE AROUND YOU THAT YOU ARE UNHAPPY. THE RESULT WILL BE AN UNHEALTHY HOME LIFE, OR AT A MINIMUM YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH DISAGREEMENTS, ARGUMENTS, AND UNHAPPINESS IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER.

                     ON THE OTHER HAND, IF YOUR ACTIONS ARE THOSE THAT WORK FOR YOU INSTEAD OF AGAINTS YOU, THE LIKEHOOD IS THAT THINGS AROUND YOU WILL HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF WORKING FOR YOU INSTEAD OF AGAINST YOU.

                   BUT IT GOES FAR BEYOND THAT. HOW YOU MANAGE YOUR SELF, WHAT YOU DO, HOW YOU ACT EACH AND EVERY MOMENT, EVERY WORK YOU SPEAK, MOTION YOU MAKE, AND ACTION YOU TAKE OR DO NOT TAKE WILL DETERMINE HOW WELL ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE WORKS FOR YOU. IT DOES NOT TAKE A WIZARD TO TELL US WHEN WE DO THE RIGHT THINGS, THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER CHANCE THAT THINGS WILL WORK BETTER FOR US THAN WHEN WE DO THE WRONG THINGS.

                BUT WHY DO WE DO WHAT WE DO?WHY DO WE NOT TO THE THINGS WE KNOW WE SHOULD NOT? WHAT MAKES US DO WHAT WE DO? WHAT MAKES US ACT THE WAY WE ACT, BEHAVE THE WAY WE BEHAVE? WHY DO WE EVER DO ANYTHING THAT WORKS AGAINST US INSTEAD OF ALWAYS DOING EXACTLY THAT WHICH FOR US ? IT IS BEHAVIOR WE DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER? NO. WE USUALLY KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT AND WHAT'S WRONG.

                     THE REASON WE DON'T HEED EVEN OUR OWN ADVICE IS BECAUSE OF SOMETHING ELSE THAT AFFECTS, DIRECTS, INFLUENCES, OR CONTROLS ALL OF OUR ACTIONS. THAT SOMETHING THAT MAKES US DO WHAT WE DO IS CALLED OUR.

                  

                                 2. FEELINGS

                        EVERY ACTIONS WE TAKE IS FIRST FILTERED THROUGH OUR FEELINGS. HOW WE FEEL ABOUT SOMETHING WILL ALWAYS DETERMINE OR AFFECT WHAT WE DO AND HOW WELL WE DO IT.

                      IF WE FEEL GOOD OR POSITIVE ABOUT SOMETHING, WE WILL BEHAVE MORE POSITIVELY ABOUT IT. OUR FEELINGS WILL DIRECTLY INFLUENCES OUR ACTIONS. HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED CHILDREN WHO WERE MADE TO EAT SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T LIKE? HOW DID THEY ACT? I'VE SEEN CHILDREN WHO LOOKED AS THOUGH THEY WERE GOING TO DIE RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT. BUT SET A FAVORITE DESSERT IN FRONT OF THE SAME CHILDREN AND WHAT WILL THEY DO? THEY MAY LOOK AS THOUGH THEY'RE GOING TO DIVINE INTO IT HEADFIRST.

                   WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE ONE PLATE OF FOOD AND THE OTHER? IT'S NOT THAT ONE TYPE OF FOOD IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER. THE DIFFERENCE IS IN HOW THOSE CHILDREN HAVE COME TO FEEL ABOUT THE FOOD. THE WAY THE CHILDREN FELT DETERMINED WHAT ACTIONS THEY TOOK. IN ONE INSTANCE THEY FOUGHT IT, IN THE OTHER THEY RELISHED IT.

                   I HAVE A FRIEND WHOSE FEAR IS THAT OF FLYING. ORDINARYILY, SHE IS LEVEHEADED AND POSSESS AN EVEN DISPOSITION, BUT BECAUSE OF HER FEAR OF BEING IN AN AIRPLANE, SHE WOULD RATHER DRIVE A CAR FROM HER HOME IN THE MIDWEST TO VISIT HER FAMILY ON THE EAST COAST, AND LOSE TWO OR THREE DAYS GETTING THERE, THAN HOP ON A PLANT AND BE WITH HER FAMILY IN TWO OR THREE SHORT HOURS. WHEN CIRCUMSTANCES DEMAND THAT SHE DOES FLY, SHE LOSES HER WELL-MANNERED, EVEN TEMPERAMENT, HER STREES LEVEL TRIPLES,HER ENXIETIES TAKE OVER,  AND SHE GETS SICK EVEN BEFORE THE FLIGHT BEGINS.

             IS IT THE FLYING? NO. IT IS HER FEELINGS ABOUT FLYING THAT CAUSE HER TO ACT THE WAY SHE DOES. IN THIS EXAMPLE, YOU'LL NOTICE THAT, ONCE AGAIN, IT MADE NO DIFFERENT IT THE INDIVIDUALS FEELINGS WERE "RATIONAL", HER FEELINGS NONETHELESS DIRECTLY CONTROLLED, INFLUENCED, AND SEVERELY AFFECTED THE WOMAN'S ACTIONS.

                      YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT ANYTHING YOU DO WILL AFFECT HOW YOU DO IT. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE FEELINGS OF LIKE OR DISLIKE, JOY OR FEAR, ALL OF YOUR  FEELINGS AFFECT YOUR ACTIONS. HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR JOB, YOUR MATE, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR MONEY, YOUR HEALTH, YOURSELF, AND YOUR SUCCESS WILL DETERMINE HOW YOU HEHAVE IN EACH OF THESE AREAS. IF YOUR FEELINGS ARE POSITIVE AND PRODUCTIVE, YOUR ACTIONS WILL FOLLOW.

                     BUT WHAT CAUSES YOU TO HAVE THE FEELINGS THAT ARE SO MUCH A PART OF YOU? DID YOU GET THEM BY ACCIDENT? WHAT CREATES THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT ANYTHING? CHANCE? NEVER. YOUR FEELINGS ARE CREATED, CONTROLLED, DETERMINED, OR INFLUENCED BY YOUR.

                        3. ATTITUDES

                YOUR ATTITUDES ARE THE PERSPECTIVE FROM WHICH YOU VIEW LIFE. SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE ABOUT MOST THINGS. SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE ABOUT EVERYTHING. BUT WHEN YOU LOOK CLOSER, YOU WILL FIND THAT MOST OF US HAVE A COMBINATON OF ATTITUDES, SOME GOOD, SOME NOT SO GOOD.

                WHATEVER ATTITUDE WE HAVE ABOUT ANYTHING WILL AFFECT HOW WE FEEL ABOUT IT, WHICH IN TURN DETERMINES HOW WE'LL ACT ABOUT IT, AND THAT IN TURN DETERMINES WHETHER OR NOT WE WILL DO WELL. SO, OUR ATTITUDE PLAY A VERY IMPORTANT PART IN HELPING US BECOME SUCCESSFUL.

                INFACT, AS WE CAN SEE, A GOOD ATTITUDE IS ESSENTIAL TO ACHIEVEMENT OF ANY KIND. WE SO OFTEN HEAR OF SOMEONE WHO SAID TO HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE, THE TERM IS OFTEN APPLIED TO YOUNG  PEOPLE , ESPECIALLY TO TEENAGERS WHO FREQUENTLY GET INTO TROUBLE, BUT WE OFTEN HEAR IT ABOUT ADULTS, TOO. THE IMPLICATION IS ALWAYS THAT THE INDIVIDUALS IN QUESTION ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT IF THEY DON'T CHANGE THEIR ATTITUDES.

               I WOULD AGREE. WTHOUT A GOOD ATTITUDE, A PERSPECTIVE THAT ALLOWS US TO SEE THE OPPORTUNITIES AHEAD AND SET OUR SIGHTS TO REACH THEM, WE NEVER WILL. BUT EVEN MORE IMPORTANT IS THE FACT THAT IN ORDER TO POSSESS THE KINDS OF FEELINGS THAT WORK FOR US, WE'VE GOT TO HAVE THE RIGHT ATTITUDES TO START WITH.

                 BUT WHERE DO WE GET OUR ATTITUDES? ARE WE BORN WITH THEM? OR DO THEY JUST APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE?

               OUR ATTITUDES ARE NO ACCIDENT . THEY DON'T JUST HAPPEN. OUR ATTITUDES ARE CREATED, CONTROLLED, OR INFLUENCED ENTIRELY BY OUR.

                            4. BELIEFS

                    WHAT WE BELIEVE ANYTHIING WILL DETERMINE OUR ATTITUDES ABOUT IT, CREATE OUR FEELINGS, DIRECT OUR ACTIONS, AND IN EACH IN. STRANCE, HELP US TO DO WELL OR POORLY, SUCCEED OR FAIL. THE BELIEF THAT WE HAVE ABOUT ANYTHING IS SO POWERFUL THAT IT CAN EVEN MAKE SOMETHING APPEAR  TO BE SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN WHAT IT REALLY IS, "BELIEF" DOES NOT REQUIRE THAT SOMETHING ACTUALLY BE THE WAY WE SEE IT TO BE. IT REQUIRES US TO BELIEVE THAT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.

                    BELIEF DOES NOT REQUIRE SOMETHING TO  BE TRUE. IT ONLY REQUIRES US TO BELIEVE THT IT'S TRUE. THAT'S POWERFUL STUFF! THAT MEANS MOST OF WHAT REALITY IS, TO EACH OF US, IS BASED ON WHAT WE HAVE COME TO BELIEVE - WHETHER IT'S TRUE OR NOT.

                   IT IS POSSIBLE THAT TOMORROW MORNING, IN SOME CLASSROOM IN A FOREIGN NATION, THERE WILL SIT A LITTLE BOY OR GIRL WHO BELIEVE THAT OUR COUNTRY IS BAD. IT IS ALSO LIKE THAT TOMORROW MORNING, IN SOME CLASS ROOM IN OUR COUNTRY, THERE WILL SIT A YOUNG BOY OR GIRL WHO BELIEVE THAT THE OTHER NATION IS BAD. IT MAKS NO DIFFERENCE WHETHER IT IS TRUE OR NOT. IT IS WHAT THEY BELIEVE. AND WHAT THEY BELIEVE WILL AFFECT THEIR ATTITUDES, FEELINGS, AND ACTIONS, ONE DAY WHEN THEY GROW OLDER, THEY COULD SEE EACH OTHER AS A ENEMY, AND TRY TO KILL EACH OTHER. TO EACH OF THEM IT WOULD BE RIGHT. IT WOULD BE WHAT THEY BELIEVE.

                  WHEN I WAS A CHILD, SITTNG ON A CHURCH BENCH, TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE MAN IN THE PULPIT WAS TALKING ABOUT, I REMEMBER HIM TELLING S TO "BELIEVE". I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. I THOUGHT THAT SOME PEOPLE WERE LUCKY AND SOME WERE NOT. SOME JUST NATURALLY GOT TO BELIEVE, AND SOME DIDN'T. I DID NOT KNOW YET WHERE BELIEF COMES FROM, AND I CERTAINLY DIDN'T KNOW THE POWER THAT BELIEF WOULD HAVE IN MY LIFE AND THE POWER BELIEFS HAD HELD IN THE LIVES OF EVERY HUMAN BEING WHO HAD EVER LIVED.

               AS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW IMPORTANT BELIEF CAN BE, IMAGINE BELIEVING SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF, SOMETHING THAT WAS WORKING AGAINST YOU BUT THAT WAS NOT TRUE.

             LET'S SAY YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU HAD TROUBLE MAKING FRIENDS EASILY, OR BEING ACCEPTED EASILY AND NATURALLY BY OTHERS. YOU BELIEVED YOU TOOK A SOCIAL BACKSEAT TO PEOPLE WHO SEEMED TO BE MORE POPULAR. AS A  RESULT, YOU FOUND YOURSELF STANDING BACT AT SOCIAL GATHERINGS, SELF-CONSCIOUS AND UNSURE OF WHAT TO SAY. AT YOUR WORK YOU OFTEN MISSED OPPORTUNITIES BECAUSE YOU DID NOT SPEAK UP - EVEN WHEN YOUR IDEA WAS BETTER THAN THE IDEA THAT WAS ACCEPTED FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO DID SPEAK UP. LET'S SAY YOU KNEW THAT YOU WANTED TO BE INTELLIGENT AND WITTY AND FUN, BUT YOU BELIEVED THAT YOU WANTED TO BE INTELLIGENT AND WITTY AND FUN, BUT YOU BELIEVED THAT THE OUTSIDE YOU JUST DIDN'T MEASURE UP.

              SINCE WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE ABOUT YOURSELF WILL END UP AFFECTING WHAT YOU DO, YOU CAN BE SURE THAT IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE NOT AS SOCIALLY SUCCESSFUL AS YOU WOULD TO BE, YOUR BELIEF ABOUT YOURSELF WILL TURN OUT TO BE CORRECT- WHETHER IT WAS TRUE OR NOT. BEYOND TENDENCIES TOWARD ASSERTIVENESS SHYNESS, ETCETERA, MOST SOCIAL BEHAVIORS ARE CONDITIONED TO BEGIN WITH - NO ONE I BORN POPULAR AND SOCIALLY ADEPT. EVERY SOCIAL GRACE, SKILL, AND COMFORT LEVEL THAT WE HAVE, SUCCESSFUL OR UNSUCCESSFUL, IS BASED ON WHAT WE LEARN TO BELIEVE ABOUT OURSELVES. IF YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU CANNOT, WHAT CAN THE ONLY OUTCOME BE? 

                    WE ALL HAVE THOUSANDS OF BIG AND LITTLE BELIEFS ABOUT OURSELVES. SOME OF THEM PROBABLY ARE TRUE. I SUSPECT THAT MOST OF THEM ARE NOT. BUT YOUR MIND WILL ACT AS THOUGH THEY ARE TRUE, IF YOU BELIEVE THEM.

                   WHAT MAKES US BELIEVE? DO OUR BELIEFS JUST ONE DAY SPRING OUT OF NOWWHERE? WERE OUR BELIEFS HANDED TO US ON THE DAY OF OUR BIRTH, LIKE BIRTHMARKS OF OUR HEREDITY TO BE KEPT FOREVER? DO WE CREATE THEM OURSELVES? WHERE DO WE GE THEM? OUR BELIEFS ARE NOT ACCIDENTS OF NATURE. OUR BELIEFS ARE CREATD AND DIRECTED ENTIRELY BY OUR.

                          5. PROGRAMMING

                     WE BELIEVE WHAT WE ARE PROGRAMMED TO BELIEVE. OUR CONDITIONING, FROM THE DAY WE WERE BORN, HAS CREATED, REINFORCED, AND NEARLY PERMANENTLY CEMENTED MOST OF WHAT WE BELIEVE ABOUT OURSELVES AND WHAT WE BELIEVE ABOUT MOST OF WHAT GOES ON AROUND US. THE RESULT OF IT IS WHAT WE BELIEVE.

                   IT ALL STARTS WITH OUR PROGRAMMING. WHAT WE HAVE ACCEPTED FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD, OR FED TO OURSELVES, HAS INITIATED A NATURAL CAUSE-AND-EFFECT CHAIN REACTION SEQUENCE THAT LEADS US EITHER TO SUCCESSFUL SELF-MANAGEMENT, OR TO THE UNSUCCESSFUL MISMANAGEMENT OR OURSELVES, OUR RESOURCES, AND OUR FUTURE.

               IT IS OUR PROGRAMMING THAT SETS UP OUR BELIEFS, AND THE CHAIN REACTION BEGINS, IN LOGICAL PROGRESSION, WHAT WE BELIEVE DETERMINES OUR ATTITUDES, AFFECTS OUR FEELINGS, DIRECTS OUR BEHAVIOR, AND DETERMINES OUR SUCCESS OR FAILURE.

                1. PROGRAMMING CREATES BELIEFS.

                2. BELIEFS CREATE ATTITUDE.

                3. ATTITUDES CREATE FEELINGS.

                4. FEELINGS DETERMINES ACTIONS.

                5. ACTIONS CREATE RESULTS.

                       THAT'S HOW THE BRAIN WORKS. IT YOU WANT TO MANAGE YOURSELF IN A BETTER WAY, AND CHANGE YOUR RESULTS, YOU CAN DO SO AT ANY TIME YOU CHOOSE. START WITH THE FIRST STEP. CHANGE YOUR PROGRAMMING.

                                                                            👀👀👀