THE SCIENCE OF BREATH

 

                       

                                       COSMIC  BREATH

              IN THIS SCIENTIFIC ERA, WE ASSUME THAT THE PHYSICAL BODY GIVES RISE TO THE MIND, THAT THE MIND GROWS OUT OF THE BODY. ACCORDING TO THIS VIEW. THE FECTUS HAS ESSENTIALLY NO MIND. AFTER BIRTH, THOUGHT AND CONSCIOUSNESS GRADUALLY DEVELOP. WE LOOK AT THE COSMOS THE SAME WAY. SOMEWHERE ON THE PRIMORDIAL EARTH, MOLECULES RANDOMLY FELL INTO PLACE AND LIFE APPEARED. OVER MILLIONS OF YEARS, MORE COMPLEX FORMS OF LIFE EVOLVED, AND EVENTUALLY THERE EMERGED A CONSCIOUS, SELF-AWARE BEING.

               BUT IN THE EAST, AS IN MUCH OF THE ANCIENT WORLD, THERE HAS BEEN A DIFFERENT, ALMOST OPPOSITE, VIEW. YOGA PHILOSOPHY INSISTS THAT EACH OF THE LEVELS OF BEING EVOLVES OUT OF THE ONE ABOVE IT. OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS COMES MIND, OUT OF THE MIND COMES THE PHYSICAL UNIVERSE. MIND DESIRED PHYSICAL EXISTENCE AND SO EVOLVED A BODY IN WHICH TO MANIFEST ITSELF.

                 THIS IS VASTLY DIFFERENT WAY OF LOOKING AT THE WORLD. IT IMPLIES THAT THE ESSENCE OF OUR BEING LIES BEYOND THE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL COSMOS. IT IMPLIES THAT WE ARE ALL MANIFESTATIONS OF AN ALMOST INCONCEIVABLE FORM OF CONSCIOUSNESS WHICH LIES BEYOND THE GROSSER LEVELS OF OUR EXISTENCE. IT IS FROM THERE WE CAME AND TO THERE WE WILL RETURN. IT IS FROM THERE WE CAME AND TO THERE WE WILL RETURN. THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE  FLOWS OUT OF THAT CONSCIOUSNESS AND ULTIMATELY FLOWS BACK INTO ITS SOURCE, LIKE A TIDE THAT FLOWS IN AND OUT.

                     ODDLY ENOUGH, SOME ASTRONOMERS HAVE ARRIVED AT A SOMEWHAT SIMILAR CONCLUSION. IT IS THE ASTRONOMER, OF COURSE, WHOSE AREA OF STUDY PUSHES HIM HARD UP UP AGAINST THE IMPONDERABLES. HIS CONCEPTUAZATION OF THE GEOGRAPHY OF THE UNIVERSE FORCE HIM TO DEAL WITH UNCOMFORTABLE OF THE UNIVERSE FORCE HIM TO DEAL WITH UNCOMFORTABLE CONCEPTS LIKE ETERNITY AND INFINITE SPACE. WHERE DOES IT ALL STOP, AND IF TIME AND SPACE TO END, WHAT LIES BEYOND THEM? SUDDENLY WE REALIZE THAT HUMAN RATIONALITY IS A POOR TOOL WITH WHICH TO MEASURE COSMIC REALITY.

                  MANY ASTRONOMERS TODAY BELIEVE THAT THE GALAXIES AND PLANETS ARE PULLING APART FROM EACH OTHER, THAT THE SPACE BETWEEN CELESTIAL BODIES IS EXPANDING DUE TO AN EXPLOSION FROM A DENSE CENTER. THIS IS THE "BIG BAND THEORY". WHICH ALSO HOLDS THAT AFTER A CERTAIN POINT OF EXPANSION, THE COSMOS WILL BEGIN TO CONTRACT AND ALL THE PLANETS, STARTS, AND GALAXIES WILL BE PULLED BACK INTO YET ANOTHER DENSE CENTER - FROM WHICH IT ALL EXPLODES AGAIN.

                    THE PROCESS, THEN, IS A FAMILIAR ONE OF EXPANSION AND CONTRACTION. IN A SENSE, IT IS NOTHING MORE THAN A COSMIC INHALATION AND EXHALATION. ALL THE LEVELS OF OUR EXISTENCE CAN BE SEEN AS FUNCTIONING HARMONIOUSLY IF WE GRASP THE BASIC PHENOMENON LEVEL WE MANIFEST, WE BECOME PEOPLE. WE BECOME PHYSICAL, AND THEN WE RETURN TO CONSCIOUSNESS. HENCE IT IS THAT ONE CAN SPEND DECADES IMPLICATIONS OF THE PROCESS OF BREATHING.

THE BRIEF ABOUT OUR BREATH

 

                           WHY BOTHER WITH BREATH?

                         YOGA  AND THE BODY OF ENERGY

                       MANY READERS WILL BE SURPRISED TO FIND A WHOLE BOOK DEVOTED TO THE SUBJECT OF BREATHING, FOR THE STUDY OF BREATH HAS NOT RECEIVED MUCH ATTENTION IN WESTERN MEDICINE. IN A LETTER TO THE EDITOR PRINTED IN A WELL-KNOWN MEDICAL JOURNAL, A PHYSICIAN WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE TIME AND MONEY WASTED ON RESEARCH IN TRIVIAL AREAS. "THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW", HE LAMENTED, SOMEONE WILL BE WRITING A BOOK LENGTH DISSERTATION ON "HOW TO BREATHE"! HE COULDN'T IMAGINE A SUBJECT MORE TRIFLING OR A PROCESS MORE OBVIOUS THAN BREATHING.

                    OF COURSE, BREATHING IS A VITAL PROCESS. IF YOU DON'T BREATHE, YOU DON'T LIVE, SO EVERYONE WILL AGREE IT'S IMPORTANT IN THAT SENSE. YET MOST OF US WOULD SAY, "EITHER YOU'RE BREATHING OR YOU'RE NOT. IF YOU'RE BREATHING, THERE'S NO PROBLEM. IF YOU'RE NOT BREATHING, YOU'RE DEAD, SO YOU'RE NOT HAVING ANY PROBLEMS EITHER".

                     PERHAPS IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. IN THE EASTERN TRADITIONS THERE HAVE LONG BEEN THOSE WHO WOULD SPEND DECADES STUDYING THE BREATH. IN FACT, THERE ARE ENTIRE MONASTERIES WHERE MOST OF THE FOCUS CENTERS AROUND BREATHING, AND IT IS SAID THAT MANY OF THE SO-CALLED MIRACLES PERFORMED BY YOGIS ARE BASED PRIMARILY ON CONTROL OF THE BREATH. BUT WHY WOULD SO MUCH EMPHASIS BE PLACED ON AN ORDINARY, EVEYDAY  PROCESS LIKE BREATHING?

                             THE MIND/BODY PROBLEM

                  OUR  DIFFICULTY IN UNDERSTANDING WHY BREATHING NIGHT BE SO STRATEGIC TEMS IN PART FROM OUR WESTERN WAY OF LOOKING AT THE WORLD. OUR PERSPECTIVE IS BASED PRIMARILY ON THE STUDY OF MATERIAL PHENOMENA. WE TAKE SOLID THINGS AND ANALYZE THEM PHYSICALLY AND CHEMICALLY. OUR LABORATORY SCIENCE IS BASED ON THE MEASUREMENT AND MANIPULATION OF MATTER. OUR PHYSICIANS ARE TRAINED IN ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY. OUR PHILOSOPHY IS BASICALLY MATERIALISTIC.

                   IN A SIMILAR WAY, OUR APPROACH TO UNDERSTANDING THE HUMAN BEING A PRIMARILY PHYSICAL. IT'S ESSENTIALLY BASED ON THE STUDY OF THE BODY, THE PART WE CAN TOUCH, THE MEASURABLE ASPECT OF OUR BEING. THE SCIENTIFIC STUDIES WE FEEL MOST COMFORTABLE WITH ARE THOSE WHICH TREAT WHAT IS OBJECTIVELY OBSERVABLE.WHEN OUR RESEARCH STRAYS FROM THE WORLDOF MATERIAL OBJECTS AND ATTEMPTS THE STUDY OF FEEL A BIT LESS SURE OF OURSELVES, AND THE QUESTION INEVITABLY ARISES, IS THIS REALLY SCIENTIFIC.

             THESE DOUBTS ABOUT THE SCIENTIFIC VALIDY OF NONPHYSICAL STUDIES ARE ESPECIALLY EVIDENT WITH RESPECT TO RESEARCH I PSYCHOLOGY, YET THE MIND IS OBVIOUSTLY ANOTHER REAL LEVEL OF OUR EXISTENCE - ON WITH WHICH WE CANNOT AVOID COMING TO TERMS. THE CONTEMPORARY WESTERNER'S INTEREST IN THE MIND IS EQUALED ONLY BY UNCERTAINLY ABOUT HOW TO APPROACH. IT CAN'T BE DISSECTED OR MEASURED OR PUT IN A BOX. IT CAN'T BE PUT ON SLIDES AND VIEWED UNDER A MICROSCOPE. IT CAN'T BE TESTED WITH ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENTS.

                 YET OUR SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE ASSURES US THAT THERE IS SUCH A THING OUR THOUGHTS, WE ARE AWARE THAT SOMETHING IS GOING ON INSIDE, AND WE ADMIT, HOWEVER GRUDGINGLY, THAT THE WORKINGS OR OUR MIND ARE IN SOME WAY BEHIND MOST OF WHAT WE DO WITH OUT PHYSICAL BODY AND HOW WE MANIPULATE THE PHYSICAL WORLD.

              YET IN THE WEST WE REMAIN CONFUSED ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE MENTAL REALM AND THE TANGIBLE WORLD. HOW DOES THE PHYSICAL BODY INTERACT WITH THE MIND? THIS IS MORE THAN A THEORETICAL QUESTION. THE PROBLEM OF MIND/BODY INTERACTION IS ONE THAT PLAGUES OUR MEDICAL SCIENTIST AND BAFFLES OUR PSYCHOLOGISTS. WHEN PHYSICIANS FAIL TO ALTER THE PHYSICAL BODY TO THEIR PATIENTS" SATISFACTION, THEY THROW UP THEIR HANDS AND SAY THE PROBLEM MUST BE "PSYCHOLOGICAL". WHEN PSYCHOLOGISTS ARE UNABLE TO HELP PATIENTS REORGANIZE THEIR MENTAL WORLD, THEY SHRUG AND SAY, "PERHAPS YOU SHOULD SEE A MEDICAL DOCTOR TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NOT SOME PHYSICAL PROBLEM HERE". PATIENTS SHUTTLE BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN FRUSTRATED PSYCHOTHERAPISTS AND PUZZLED PHYSICIANS WHILE THE PSYCHOSOMATIC SPECIALISTS WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND THE INTEGRATION OF MIND AND BODY ARE YET TO APPEAR ON THE SCENE.

                 HOW DO THE MIND AND BODY  CONNECT? WESTERN SCIENCE SEEMS TO HAVE RUN INTO A DEAD AND END ON THE QUESTION. BUT THE PHILOSOPHY OF THE EAST, ESPECIALLY THAT OUT OF WHICH THE SCIENCE OF YOGA GREW, OFFER A CONTEXT WITHIN WHICH SOME ANSWERS MAY EMERGE, FOR YOGA INCLUDES THE STUDY OF BOTH THE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL REALMS. AND THESE TWO LEVELS OF FUNCTIONING CONSTITUTE ONLY A SMALL PART OF THE TOTAL SPECTRUM OF PHENOMENA ENCOMPASSED IN THE STUDY OF YOGA. 

                     SINCE ANCIENT TIMES YOGA MASTERS HAVE SPENT MANY LONG HOURS GOING WITHIN THEMSELVES, STYDYING AND TRYING TO UNRAVEL THE CONNECTIONS EXISTING BETWEEN THEIR VARIOUS LEVELS OF EXISTENCE. THEY DISCOVERED THAT BESIDES THE PHYSICAL BODY AND THE MIND, THERE ARE HIGHER LEVELS OF FUNCTIONING WHICH ARE ALSO IMPORTANT. FOR INSTANCE, THEY UNCOVERED AND EXPLORED AN AREA OF CONSCIOUSNESS BEYOND THOUGHT, A NONCONCEPTUAL LEVEL OF HEIGHTENED AND BROADENED AWARENESS THAT COULD ONLY BE APPROACHED BY STEPPING OUTSIDE THE ARENA OF OUR EVERYDAY THINKING PROCESS. THE TECHNIQUE OF INWARD ATTENTION WHICH ALLOWS ONE TO EXPLORE THIS LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS IS CALLED MEDITATION.

                  MEDITATION IS A METHOD USED TO DEAL WITH THOSE LEVELS OF HUMAN FUNCTION OPERATING BEYOND THE MIND, WHAT WE MIGHT CALL "HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS". MEDITATION IS NOT, HOWEVER THE ONLY ASPECT OF YOGA, YOGA ALSO INCLUDES PHYSICAL POSTURES (ASANAS) WHICH TEACH THE PRACTITIONER TO CONTROL, REGULATE, AND BE AWARE OF HIS OR HER PHYSICAL BODY. THEN THERE ARE PRACTICES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MANIPULATION AND REGULATION OF PURELY MENTAL FUNCTIONS - CONCENTRATION, FOR INSTANCE. YOGA UNDERSTANDS THE HUMAN AS A MULTILEVELED BEING, ONE WITH A SERIES OF DISTINCT LEVELS OF EXISTENCE - THE PHYSICAL, THE MENTAL, AND WHAT LIES BEYOND THE MIND.

                 BUT IN OUR DISCUSSION SO FARWE HAVE ONMITTED MENTION OF ANOTHER IMPORTANT LEVEL WHICH LIES BETWEEN THE MIND AND THE BODY, FOR ACCORDING TO YOGA, THE MIND AND THE BODY DO NOT DIRECTLY INTERACT. RATHER, THEY RELATE TO EACH OTHER BY WAY OF AN IBTERMEDIATE LAYER OF FUNCTIONING. THE INDIFFERENCE OF WESTERN SCIENTIST TO THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH AN INTERMEDIATE STATE IS PERHAPS WHY, FOR THEM, THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN BODY AND MIND IS SO OBSCURE. THIS MAY BE WHY WE'VE BEEN STUCK WITH A "MIND /BODY DUALISM" WHICH SEEMS TO SPLIT OUR SCIENCE OF MAN ASUNDER, LEAVING IT IN TWO SEPERATE AND IRRECONCILABLE CAMPS, THAT OF THE PSYCHOLOGIST OR HUMANIST, AND THAT OF THE PHYSICAL SCIENTIST OR LABORATORY RESEARCHER.

                   ''HARD-NOSED" SCIENTIST ARE SURE THAT ANYTHING WORTHY OF STUDY OS PHYSICAL AND MATERIAL. IF THEY WISH TO DEAL WITH MAN'S ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR, THEY LIMIT THEMSELVES TO STUDYING AND MEASURING THE MOVEMENTS OF THE BODY, THE PRODUCTION OF SPEECH, OR AN INDIVIDUAL'S TEST PERFORMANCE. IF THEY THINK OF THEMSELVES PSYCHOLOGISTS, THEY PREFER TO LABEL THEMSELVES BEHAVIORAL SCIENTISTS. THE MIND ITSELT THEY DISMISS, CONCINCED THAT IT IS NOT AMERABLE TO STUDY. THIS SEEMS TO BE A TREND OF THE TIMES, THOUGH IN THE PAST DECADE OR TWO THE "HOLISTIC HEALTH" MOVEMENT HAS BEGUN TO PUSH OPEN THE DOOR TO BROADER AWARENESS - A PORTAL THROUGH WHICH  A HANDFUL OF PIONEERING PHYSICIANS AND RESEARCHERS HAVE BEGUN TO STEP.

 

                   FORTUNATELY IN THE EAST, AND IN PARTICULAR BETWEEN THE PRACTITIONERS OF MEDITATION, THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN BODY AND MIND HAS BEEN THOROUGHLY EXPLORED AND FOUND TO CONSTITUTE AN INTERMEDIATE LINK RELATING THE BODY AND THE MIND. IT HAS ITS OWN PROPERTIES AND ITS OWN TOPOGRAPHY. MOREOVER, IT IS EXPLICITY TAUGHT THAT THIS INTERMEDIATE LEVEL HAS TO DO PRIMARILY WITH ENERGY.

THE KEY OF RELATIONSHIP

 

                           

                               SEVEN WAYS TO MAKE

                                    PEOPLE FEEL IMPORTANT

                     THE KEY TO EXCELLENT RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS IS QUITE SIMPLE. MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT. TO THE DEGREE TO WHICH YOU CAN MAKE OTHER PEOPLE FEEL IMPORTANT - STARTING WITH THE MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY AND THEN EXTENDING OUTWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS AND COWORKERS - YOU WILL BECOME ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR PEOPLE IN YOUR WORLD.

                      THERE ARE SEVEN WAYS TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE FEEL IMPORTANT. THESE ARE SIMPLE PRACTICES THAT YOU CAN LEARN THROUGH REPETITION.

                    ACCEPT PEOPLE THE WAY THEY ARE : ONE OF THE DEEPEST CRAVINGS OF HUMAN NATURE IS TO BE ACCEPTED BY OTHER PEOPLE WITHOUT JUDGMENT, EVALUATION, OR CRITICISM. PSYCHOLOGISTS CALL THIS BAHAVIOR "UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD". THIS IS WHEN YOU ACCEPT THE OTHER PERSON COMPLETELY, WITHOUT RESERVATION,FOR EXACTLY THE WAY HE OR SHE IS.

                  BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE JUDGMENTAL AND CRITICAL, TO BE UNCONDITONALLY ACCEPTED BY ANOTHER PERSON RAISES THAT PERSON'S SELF-ESTEEM, REINFORCES HIS OR HER SELF-IMAGE, AND MAKES THAT PERSON FEEL HAPPY ABOUT HIM OR HERSELF.

                  IN THE MOVIE, BRIDGET JONES DIARY, THE ENTIRE FOCUS WAS ON THE DISCOVERY BY BRIDGET THAT SHE HAD FOUND A MAN "WHO LIKES ME JUST THE WAY I AM". THIS WAS CONSIDERED TO BE SUCH AN AMAZING THING TO HAPPEN. ALL HER FRIENDS WERE ASTONISHED THAT ANYONE COULD EVER HAVE A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE BY ANOTHER PERSON.

                  WHEN YOU LOOK AT OTHER PEOPLE AND GIVE THEM A GENUINE SMILE, THEY FEEL HAPPIER ABOUT THEMSELVES. THEIR SELF-ESTEEM GOES UP. THEY FEEL MORE VALUABLE AND IMPORTANT. 

                     WHEN YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF AND THE IMPRESSION YOU ARE MAKING ON OTHERS AND INSTEAD START THINKING ABOUT OTHERS AND THE IMPRESSION YOU ARE MAKING ON OTHERS AND INSTEAD START THINKING ABOUT OTHERS AND THE IMPRESSION THEY ARE MAKING ON YOU, YOU CAN RELAX. YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATHE AND JUST SMILE AT PEOPLE WHEN YOU MEET THEM AND GREET THEM BOTH AT HOME AND AT WORK. IT IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL SELF-ESTEEM AND RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING BEHAVIORS YOU CAN DO. SMILING AT PEOPLE WHEN YOU MEET THEM AND GREET THEM BOTH AT HOME AND AT WORK. IT IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL SELF-ESTEEM AND RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING BEHAVIORS YOU CAN DO. SMILING AT PEOPLE MAKES THEM FEEL IMPORTANT AND VALUABLE.

                  SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION FOR OTHERS: WHENEVER YOU APPRECIATE ANOTHER PERSON FOR ANYTHING THAT HE OR SHE HAS DONE OR SAID, YOU RAISE THAT PERSON'S SELF-ESTEEM AND MAKE HIM OR HER FEEL THAT PERSON'S SELF-ESTEEM AND MAKE HIM OR HER FEEL MORE IMPORTANT. EXPRESSIONS OF APPRECIATION - FROM SMALL NODS AND SMILES ALL THE WAY THROUGH TO CARDS, LETTERS, AND GIFTS - RAISE PEOPLE'S SELF-ESTEEM AND CAUSE THEM TO LIKE THEMSELVES MORE. AS A RESULT, BY THE LAW OF INDIRECT EFFORT, THEY WILL LIKE YOU MORE AS WELL.

                     THE SIMPLEST WAY TO EXPRESS APPRECIATION IS TO SIMPLY SAY, THAN YOU. THE WORDS, "THANK YOU" ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED IN ANY LANGUAGE, ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD. I HAVE TRAVELED IN NINETY COUNTRIES, AND THE VERY FIRST THING I DO IS LEARN THE WORDS "PLEASE" AND "THANK YOU" . EACH TIME YOU USE THOSE WORDS, PEOPLE BRIGHTEN UP, SMILE, AND FEEL HAPPY TO BE IN YOUR PRESENCE.

               EVERY TIME YOU SAY THAN YOU, IT HAS AN ALMOST MAGICAL EFFECT ON THE OTHER PERSON. IT MAKES HIM FEEL IMPORTANT AND FAR HAPPIER ABOUT BEING IN YOUR PRESENCE AND HELPING YOU WITH ANYTHING YOU NEED.

                     BE AGREEBLE :THE MOST WELCOMD PEOPLE IN EVERY SITUATION ARE THOSE WHO ARE GENERALLY AGREEABLE AND POSITIVE WHO QUESTION, COMPLAIN, AND DISAGREE ARE SELDOM WELCOM ANYWHERE.

                    WHEN YOU NOD, SMILE, AND AGREE WITH ANOTHER PERSON WHEN HE OR SHE IS TALKING OR EXPRESSION AN OPIONION, YOU MAKE THAT PERSON FEEL INTELLIGENT, RESPECTED, VALUABLE, AND IMPORTANT. WHEN YOU ARE AGREEABLE WITH ANOTHER PERSON, EVERY IF HE SAYS SOMETHING WITH WHICH YOU MAY NOT BE IN COMPLETE ACCORD, YOU MAKE THAT PERSON FEEL HAPPY TO BE IN YOUR PRESENCE.

                  IN MY WORK AS A PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER, I MEET THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE EACH YEAR. THEY COME UP TO ME AND OFTEN EXPRESS OPINIONS ON SUBJECTS ON WHICH I AM OFTEN WELL INFORMED AND THEY OBVIOUSLY ARE NOT. SOMETIMES THEY SAY RIDICULOUS THINGS THAT ARE EITHER NOT TRUE OR MAKE NO SENSE.

                IN EVERY CASE, HOWEVER, I SMILE AND AGREE, NODDING AND ASKING THEM QUESTIONS AND LISTENING TO THEM EXPRESS THEIR IDEAS AND OPINIONS. THEY GO AWAY FEELING THAT THEY HAVE HAD A GOOD CONVERSATION WITH THE SPEAKER AND THAT I PROBABLY AGREE WITH THEM. IT COSTS ME NOTHING AND IT MAKES THEM HAPPY. IT MAKES THEM FEEL IMPORTANT.

                SHOW YOU ADMIRATION : PEOPLE USUALLY INVEST A LOT OF PERSONAL EMOTION IN THEIR POSSESSIONS, TRAITS, AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS. WHEN YOU ADMIRE SOMETHING BELONGING TO ANOTHER PERSON, IT MAKES HIM FEEL HAPPY ABOUT HIMSELF. AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN SAID, 'EVERYBODY LIKE A COMPLIMENT". 

                  EXPRESS YOUR ADMIRATION FOR PEOPLE'S APPEARANCE AND SPECIFIC ITEMS OF THEIR CLOTHING OR DRESS. MEN ARE ESPECIALLY COMPLIMENTED WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEIR TIES OR THEIR SHOES. WOMEN ENJOY BEING COMPLIMENTED ABOUT THEIR HAIR OR ANY OTHER ITEM OF THEIR APPEARANCE. PEOPLE SPEND A LOT OF TIME PUTTING THEMSELVES TOGETHER BEFORE THEY GO OUT.

                 YOU CAN ALSO COMPLIMENT A PERSON'S TRAITS OR CHARATERISTICS, SAYING THING SUCH AS, "YOU ARE CERTAINLY PERSISTENT, PEOPLE INVEST THEIR ENTIRE LIVES DEVELOPING TRAITS AND QUALITIES - ESPECIALLY POSITIVE QUALITIES - AND THEY FEEL FLATERED WHEN YOU NOTICE AND COMPLIMENT THEM ON THOSE QUALITIES.

               COMPLIMENT A PERSON'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS. TELL PEOPLE HOW MUCH YOU ADMIRE THEIR HOME OR OFFICE OR THE BUSINESS THEY HAVE BUILT OR THE POSITION THEY HAVE ACHIEVED IN THAT BUSINESS.