MARRIAGE LIFE

       

         

                                THE RELATIONSHIP OF           

                                   HUSBAND AND WIFE

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                            👀  INTIMATE ENEMIES 👀

 

                               TO LOVER AND TO WORD, SIGMUND FREUD ONE REMARKED TO HIS DISCIPLE ERIK ENIKSON, ARE THE TWIN CAPACITIES THAT MARK  FULL MATURITY. IF THAT IS THE CASE, THEN MATURITY MAY BE AN ENDANGERED WAY STATION IN LIFE - AND CURRENT TRENDS IN MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE MAKE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MORE CRUCIAL THAN EVER.

                              CONSIDER DIVORCE RATES. THE RATE PER YEAR OF DIVORCES HAS MORE OR LESS LEVELED OFF. BUT THERE IS ANOTHER WAY OF CALCULATING DIVORCES RATES, ONE THAT SUGGESTS A PERILOUS CLIMB. LOOKING AT THE ODDS THAT A GIVEN NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE WILL HAVE THEIR MARRIAGE EVENTUALLY END IN DIVORCE. ALTHOUGH THE OVERALL RATE OF DIVORCE HAS STOPPED CLIMBING, THE RISK OF DIVORCE HAS BEEN SHIFTING TO NEWLYWEDS.

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                            THE SHIFT GETS CLEARER IN COMPARING DIVORCE RATES FOR COUPLES WED IN GIVEN YEAR. FOR AMERICAN MARRIAGES THAT BEGAN IN 1890, ABOUT 10 PERCENT ENDED IN DIVORCE. FOR THOSE WED IN 1920, THE RATE WAS ABOUT 18 PERCENT, FOR COUPLES MARRIED IN 1950, 30 PERCENT. COUPLES THAT WERE NEWLY WED IN 1970 HAD A FIFTY-FIFTY CHANCE OF SPLITTING UP OR STAYING TOGETHER. AND FOR MARRIED COUPLES STARTING OUT IN 1990, THE LIKELIHOOD THAT THE MARRIAGE WOULD END IN DIVORCE WAS PROJECTED TO BE CLOSE TO A STAGGERING 67 PERCENT . IF THE ESTIMATE HOLDS, JUST THREE IN TEN OF RECENT NEWLYWEDS CAN COUNT ON STAYING MARRIED TO THEIR NEW PARTNER. 

                        IT CAN BE ARGUED THAT MUCH OF THIS RISE IS DUE NOT SO MUCH TO A DECLINE IN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AS TO THE STEADY EROSION OF SOCIAL PRESSURES - THE SIGMA SURROUNDING DIVORCE, OR THE ECONOMIC DEPENDENCE OF WIVES ON THEIR HUSBANDS- THAT USED TO KEEP COUPLES TOGETHER  IN EVEN THE MOST MISERABLE OF MATCHES. BUT IF SOCIAL PRESSURES ARE NO LONGER THE GLUE THAT HOLDS A MARRAIGE TOGETHER, THEN THE EMOTIONAL FORCES BETWEEN WIFE AND HUSBAND ARE THAT MUCH MORE CRUCIAL IF THEIR UNION IS TO SURVIVE.

                           THESE TIES BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE - AND THE EMOTIONAL FAULT LINE THAT CAN BREAK THEM APART -HAVE BEEN ASSAYED IN RECENT YEARS WITH A PRECISION NEVER SEEN BEFORE. PERHAPS THE BIGGEST BREAKTHROUGH IN UNDERSTANDING WHAT HOLDS A MARRIAGE TOGETHER OR TEARS IT APART HAS COME FROM THE USE OF SOPHISTICATED PHYSIOLOGICAL MEASURES THAT ALLOW THE MOVEMENT-TO-MOVEMENT TRACKING OF THE EMOTIONAL NUANCES OF A COUPLE'S ENCOUNTER. 

                                    SCIENTISTS ARE NOW ABLE TO DETECT  A HUSBAND'S OTHERWISE INVISIBLE ADRENALINE SURGES AND JUMPS IN BLOOD PRESSURE, AND TO OBSERVE FLEETING BUT TELLING MICROEMOTIONS AS THEY FLIT ACROSS A WIFE'S FACE. THESE PHYSIOLOGICAL MEASURES REVEAL A HIDDEN BILOGICAL SUBTYPICALLY IMPERCEPTIBLE TO OR DISREGARDED BY THE COUPLE THEMSELVES. THESE MEASURES LAY BARE THE EMOTIONAL FORCES THAT HOLD A RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER OR DESTROY IT. THE FAULT LINES HAVE THEIR EARLIES BEGINNINGS IN THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE EMOTIONAL WORLD OF GIRSL AND BOYS.