BALM FOR ANGER
GIVEN THE ANALYSIS OF THE ANATOMY OF RAGE, ZILLMANN SEES TWO MAIN WAYS OF INTERVENING. ONE WAY OF DEFUSING ANGER IS TO SEIZE ON THE CHALLENGE THE THOUGHTS THAT TRIGGER THE SURGES OF ANGER, SINCE IS THE ORIGINAL APPRAISAL OF AN INTERACTION THAT CONFIRMS AND ENCOURAGES THE FIRST BURST OF ANGER, AND THE SUBSEQUENT REAPPRAISALS THAT FAN THE FLAMES. TIMING MATTERS, THE EARLIER IN THE ANGER CYCLE THE MORE EFFECTIVE . INDEED, ANGER CAN BE COMPLETELY SHORT CIRCUITED IF THE MITIGATING INFORMATION COMES BEFORE THE ANGER IS ACTED ON.
THE POWER OF UNDERSTANDING TO DEFLATE ANGER IS CLEAR FROM ANOTHER OF ZILLMANN'S EXPERIMENTS, IN WHICH A RUDE ASSITANT (A CONFEDERATE) INSULTED AND PROVOKED VOLUNTEERS WHO WERE RIDING AN EXERCISE BIKE. WHEN THE VOLUNTEERS WERE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO RETALIATE AGAINST THE RUDE EXPERIMENT (AGAIN, BY GIVING A BAD EVALUATION THEY THOUGHT WOULD BE USED IN WEIGHTING HIS CANDICACY FOR A JOB) THEY DID SO WITH AN ANGRY GLEE. BUT IN ONE VERSION OF THE EXPERIMENT ANOTHER CONFEDERATE ENTERED AFTER THE VOLUNTEERS HAD BEEN PROVOKED, AND JUST BEFORE THE CHANCE TO RETALIATE, SHE TOLD THE PROVOCATIVE EXPERIMENT HE HAD A PHONE CALL DOWN THE HALL. AS HE LEFT HE MADE A SRIDE REMARK TO HER TOO. BUT SHE TOOK IT IN GOOD SPIRITS, EXPLAINING AFTER HE LEFT THAT HE WAS UNDER TERRIBLE PRESSURES, UPSET ABOUT HIS UPCOMING GRADUATE ORALS. AFTER THAT THE IRATE VOLUNTEERS, WHEN OFFERED THE CHANCE TO RETALIATE AGAIST THE RUDE FELLOW, CHOSE NOT TO, INSTEAD THEY EXPRESSED COMPASSION FOR HIS PLIGHT.
SUCH MITIGATING INFORMATION ALLOWS A REAPPRAISAL OF THE ANGER-PROVOKING EVENTS. BUT THERE IS A SPECIFIC WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY FOR THIS DE-ESCALATION. ZILMANN FINDS IT WORKS WELL AT MODERATE LEVELS OF ANGER, AT HIGH LEVELS OF RAGE IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE CALLS "COGNITIVE INCAPACITATION - IN OTHER WORDS, PEOPLE CAN NO LONGER THINK STRAIGHT. WHEN PEOPLE WERE ALREADY HIGHLY ENRAGED, THEY DISMISSED THE MITIGATING INFORMATION WITH "THAT'S JUST TOO BAD" OR THE STRONGEST VULGARITIES THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE HAS TO OFFER, AS ZILLMANN PUT IT WITH DELICACY.
COOLING DOWN
ONECE WHEN I WAS ABOUT 13, IN AN ANGRY, I WALKED OUT OF THE HOUSE VOWING IN WOULD NEVER RETURN, IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SUMMER DAY, AND I WALKED FAR ALONG LOVELY LANES, TILL GRADUALLY THE STILLNESS AND BEAUTY CALMED AND SOOTHED ME, AND AFTER SOME HOURS I RETURNED REPENTANT AND ALMOST MELTED. SINCE THEN WHEN I AM ANGRY, I DO THIS IF I CAN, AND FIND IT THE BEST CURE.
EMOTIONAL SELF-AWARENESS
* IMPROVEMENT IN RECOGNIZING AND NAMING OWN EMOTIONS
* BETTER ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE CAUSES OF FEELINGS'
* RECOGNIZING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FEELINGS AND ACTIONS
MANAGING EMOTIONS
* BETER FRUSTRATION TOLERANCE AND ANGER MANAGEMENT
* FEWER VERBUL PUT-DOWNS, FIGHTS, AND CLASSROOM DISRUPTIONS
* BETTER ABLE TO EXPRESS ANGER APPROPRIATELY, WITHOUT FIGHTING
* FEWER SUSPENSIONS AND EXPULSIONS
* LESS AGGRESSIVE OR SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR
* MORE POSITIVE FEELINGS ABOUT SELF, SCHOOL, AND FAMILY
* BETTER AT HANDLING STRESS
* LESS LONELINESS AND SOCIAL ANXIETY
HARNESSING EMOTIONS PRODUCTIVELY
❤ MORE RESPONSIBLE
❤ BETTER ABLE TO FOCUS ON THE TASK AT HAND PAY ATTENTION
❤ LESS IMPULSIVE, MORE SELF-CONTROL
❤ IMPROVED SCORES ON ACHIEVEMENT TESTS
EMPATHY READING EMOTIONS
👀 BETTER ABLE TO TAKE ANOTHER PERSON'S PERSPECTIVE
👀 IMPROVED EMPATHY AND SENSITIVITY TO OTHERS FEELINGS
👀 BETTER AT LISTENING TO OTHERS
No comments:
Post a Comment