HOW TO BUILD YOUR CHILD WITH GOOD HABIT

 

                                             GETTING 

                            THE EMOTIONAL BASICS

                                        PARENTING TIPS

                         SAY TO TWO-MONTH-OLD BADY WAKE UP AT 3 A.M. AND STARTS CRYING, HER MOTHER COME IN AND, FOR THE NEXT HALF HOUR , THE BADLY CONTENTEDLY NURSES IN HER MOTHER'S ARMS WHILE HER MOTHER GAZES AT HER AFFECTIONATELY, TELLING HER THAT SHE'S HAPPY TO SEE HER, EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. THE BABY, CONTENT IN HER MOTHER'S LOVE, DRIFTS BACK TO SLEEP.

                         NOW SAY ANOTHER TWO-MONTH-OLD BABY, WHO ALSO AWOKE CRYING IN THE WEE ASLEEP IS MET INSTEAD BY A MOHTER WHO IS TENSE AND IRRITABLE, HAVING FALLEN ASLEEP JUST AN HOUR BEFORE AFTER A FIGHT WITH HER HUSBAND. THE BABY STARTS TO TENSE UP THE MOMENT HIS MOTHER ABRUPTLY PICKS HIM UP, TELLING HIM, "JUST BE QUIET - I CAN'T STAND ONE MORE THING! COME ON, LET'S GET IT OVER WITH". AS THE BABY NURSES HIS MOTHER STARES STONILY AHEAD, NOT LOOKING AT HIM, REVIEWING HER FIGHT WITH HIS FATHER, GETTING MORE AGITATED HERSELF AS SHE MULLS IT OVER. THE BABY, SENSING HER TENSION, SQUIRMS, STIFFENS AND STOPS NURING. THAT'S ALL YOU WANT? HIS MOTHER SAYS, "THEN DON'T EAT, WITH THE SAME ABRUPTNESS SHE PUTS HIM BACK IN CRIB AND STALKS OUT, LETTING HIM CRY UNTIL HE FALLS BACK TO SLEEP, EXHAUSED.

                               HOW TO RAISE A BULLY

                             MUCH CAN BE LEARNED ABOUT THE LIFELONG EFFECTS OF EMOTIONALLY INEPT PARENTING - PARTICULARLY ITS ROLE IN MAKING CHILDREN AGGRESSIVE - FROM LONGITUDINAL STUDIES SUCH AS ONE OF 870 CHILDREN FROM UPSTATE NEW YORK WHO WERE FOLLOWED FROM THE TIME THEY WERE EIGHT UNTIL THEY WERE THIRTY. THE MOST BELLIGERENT AMONG THE CHILDREN- THOSE QUICKEST TO START FIGHTS AND WHO HABITUALLY USED FORCE TO GET THEIR WAY - WERE THE MOST LIKELY TO HAVE DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL AND , BY AGE THIRTY, TO HAVE A RECORD FOR CRIMES OF VIOLENCE. THEY ALSO SEEMED TO BE HANDING DOWN THEIR PROPENSITY TO VIOLENCE, THEIR ALSO SEEMED TO HANDLING DOWN THEIR PROPENSITY TO VIOLENCE, THEIR WERE IN GRADE SCHOOL, JUST LIKE THE TROUBLEMAKERS THEIR DELINQUIET PARENT HAD BEEN.

                          THERE IS A LESSON IN HOW AGGRESSIVENESS IS PASSED FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION. ANY INHERITED PROPENSITIES ASIDE, THE TROUBLEMAKERS AS GROWN UPS ACTED IN A WAY THAT MADE FAMILY LIFE A SCHOOL FOR AGGRESSION. AS CHILDREN, THE TROUBLEMAKERS HAD PARENTS WHO DISCIPLINED THEM WITH ARBITRARY, RELENTLESS SEVERITY, AS PARENTS THEY REPEATED THE PATTERN. THIS WAS TRUE WHETHER IT HAD BEEN THE FATHER OR THE MOTHER WHO HAD BEEN IDENTIFIED IN CHILDREN AS HIGHLY AGGRESSIVE. AGGRESSIVE LITTLE GIRLS GREW UP TO BE JUST AS ARBITRARY AND HARSHLY PUNITIVE WHEN THEY BECAME MOTHERS AS THE AGGRESSIVE BOYS WERE AS FATHERS. AND WHILE THEY PUNISHED THEIR CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL SEVERITY, THEY OTHERWISE TOOK LITTLE INTEREST IN THEIR CHILDREN'S LIVES. 

  

                        IN EFFECT IGNORING THEM MUCH OF THE TIME. AT THE SAME TIME THE PARENTS OFFERED THESE CHILDREN A VIVID - AND VIOLENT - EXAMPLE OF AGGRESSIVENESS, A MODEL THE CHILDREN TOOK WITH THEM TO SCHOOL AND TO THE PLAYGROUND, AND FOLLOWED THROUGHOUT LIFE. THE PARENTS WERE NOT NECESSARILY MEAN-SPIRITED, NOR DID THEY FAIL TO WISH THE BEST FOR THEIR CHILDREN, RATHER , THEY SEEMED TO BE SIMPLY REPEATING THE STYLE OF PARENTING THAT HAD BEEN MODELED FOR THEM BY THEIR OWN PARENTS.

                      IN THIS MODEL FOR VIOLENCE THESE CHILDREN WERE DISCIPLINED CAPRICIOUSLY. IF THEIR PARENTS WERE IN A BAD MOOD, THEY COULD GET AWAY WITH MAYHEM AT HOME. THUS PUNISHMENT CAME NOT SO MUCH BECAUSE OF WHAT THE CHILD HAD DONE, BUT BY VIRTUE OF HOW THE PARENT FELT. THIS IS A RECIPE FOR FEELINGS OF WORTHLESSNESS AND HELPLESSNESS, AND FOR THE SENSE THAT THREATS ARE EVERYWHERE AND MAY STRIKE AT ANY TIME. SEEN IN LIGHT OF THE HOME LIFE THAT SPAWNS IT, SUCH CHILDREN'S CAMBATIVE AND DEFIANT POSTURE TOWARD THE WORLD AT LARGE MAKES A CERTAIN SENSE, UNFORTUNATE THROUGH IT REMAINS. WHAT IS DISHEARTENING IS HOW EARLY THESE DISPRITING LESSONS CAN BE LEARNED, AND HOW GRIM THE COSTS FOR A CHILD'S EMOTIONAL LIFE CAN BE.

HOW OUR EMOTIONAL FEELINGS ARE WORK

 

                             FEELING (EMOTIONAL)

                                         HEART START

                            THE IMPACT OF PARENTING ON EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE STARTS IN THE CRADLE. DR. T. BERRY BRAZELTON, THE EMINENT, HARVARD PEDEATRICIAN, HAS A SIMPLE DIAGNOSTIC TEST OF A BABY'S BASIC OUTLOOK TOWARD LIFE. HE OFFERS TWO BLOCKS TO AN EIGHT-MONTH-OLD , AND THEN SHOWS THE BABY HOW HE WANS HER TO PUT THE TWO BLOCKS TOGETHER. A BABY WHO IS HOPEFUL ABOUT LIFE, WHO HAS CONFIDENCE IN HER OWN ABILITIES, SAYS BRAZELTON,

                                                                              ❤

                             WILL PICK UP ONE BLOCK, MOUTH IT, RUB IT IN HER HAIR, DROP IT OVER THE SIDE OF THE TABLE, WATCHING TO SEE WHETHER YOU WILL RETRIEVE IT FOR HER. WHEN YOU DO, SHE FINALLY COMPLETES TEH REQUESTED TASK - PLACE THE TWO BLOCKS TOGETHER. THEN SHE LOOKS UP AT YOU WITH A BRIGHT-EYED LOOK OF EXPECTANCY THAT SAYS, "TELL ME HOW GREAT I AM".

                              BABIES LIKE THESE HAVE GOTTEN A GOODLY DOSE OF APPROVAL AND ENCOURAGEMENT FROM THE ADULTS IN THEIR LIVES, THEY EXPECT TO SUCCEED IN LIFE'S LITTLE CHALLENGES. BY CONTRAST, BABIES WHO COME FROM HOMES TOO BLEAK, CHAOTIC, OR NEGLECTFUL GO ABOUT THE SAME TASK IN A WAY THAT SIGNALS THEY ALREADY EXPECT TO FAIL. IT IS NOT THAT THESE BABIES FAIL TO BRING THE BLOCKS TOGETHER, THEY UNDERSTAND THE INSTRUCTION AND HAVE THE COORDINATION TO COMPLY. BUT EVEN WHEN THEY DO, REPORTS BRAZELTON, THEIR DEMEANOR IS "HANGDOG" A LOOK THAT SAYS, I'M NO GOOD. SEE, I'VE FAILED, "SUCH CHILDREN ARE LIKELY TO GO THROUGH LIFE WITH A DEFEATIST OUTLOOK, EXPECTING NO ENCOURAGEMENT OR INTEREST FROM TEACHERS, FINDING SCHOOL JOYLESS, PERHAPS EVENTUALLY DROPPING OUT.

                         THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO OUTLOOKS - CHILDREN WHO ARE CONFIDENT AND OPTIMSTIC VERSUS THOSE WHO EXPECT TO FAIL- STARTS TO TAKE SHAPE IN THE FIRST FEW YEARS OF LIFE. PARENTS, SAYS BRAZELTON, "NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW THEIR ACTIONS CAN HELP GENERATE THE CONFIDENCE, THE CURIOSITY, THE  PLEASURE IN LEARNING AND THE UNDERSTANDING OF LIMITS " THAT HELP CHILDREN SUCCEED IN LIFE. HIS ADVICE IS INFORMED BY A GROWING BODY OF EVIDENCE SHOWING THAT SUCCESS IN SCHOOL DEPENDS TO A SURPRISING EXTENT ON EMOTIONAL CHARACTERISTICS FORMED IN THE YEARS BEFORE A CHILD ENTERS SCHOOL. THE ABILITY OF FOUR-YEARS-OLDS TO CONTROL THE IMPULSE TO GRAB FOR A MARSHMALLOW PREDICTED A 210 POINT ADVANTAGE IN THEIR SAT SCORES FOURTEEN YEARS LATER.

                                                                                    ❤ 

                         THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY FOR SHAPING THE INGREDIENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS IN THE EARLIEST YEARS, THOUGH THESE CAPACITIES CONTINUE TO FORM THROUGHOUT THE SCHOOL YEARS. THE EMOTIONAL ABILITIES CHILDREN ACQUIRE IN LATER LIFE BUILD ON THOSE OF THE EARLIEST YEARS. AND THESE ABILITIES, AS WE SAW IN CHAPTER 6, ARE THE ESSETIAL FOUNDATION FOR ALL LEARNING. A REPORT FROM THE NATIONAL CENTER FOR CLINICAL INFANT PROGRAMS MAKES THE POINT THAT SCHOOL SUCCESS IS NOT PREDICTED BY A CHILD'S FUND OF FACTS OR A PRECOCIOUS  ABILITY TO READ SO MUCH AS BY EMOTIONAL AND SOCIAL MEASURES, BEING SELF-ASSURED AND INTERESTED, KNOWING WHAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR IS EXPECTED AND HOW TO REIN IN THE IMPULSE TO MISBEHAVE, BEING ABLE TO WAIT, TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS, AND TO TURN TO TEACHERS FOR HELP., AND EXPRESSING NEEDS WHILE GETTING ALONE WITH OTHER CHILDREN.

                                 ALMOST ALL STUDENTS WHO DO POORLY IN SCHOOL, SAYS THE REPORT, LACK ONE OR MORE OF THESE ELEMENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (REGARDLESS OF WHETHER  THEY ALSO HAVE COGNITIVE DIFFICULTIES SUCH AS LEARNING DISABILITIES) THE MAGNITUDE OF THE PROBLEM IS NOT MINOR, IN SOME STATES CLOSE TO ONE IN FIVE CHILDREN HAVE TO REPEAT FIRST GRADE, AND THEN AS THE YEARS GO ON FALL FURTHER BEHIND THEIR PEERS, BECOMING INCREASINGLY DISCOURAGED, RESENTFUL AND DISRUPTIVE.

                          A CHILD'S READINESS FOR SCHOOL DEPENDS ON THE MOST BASIC OF ALL KNOWLEDGE, HOW TO LEARN. THE REPORT LISTS THE SEVEN KEY INGREDIENTS OF THIS CRUCIAL CAPACITY - ALL RELATED TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

                            👀 1. CONFIDENCE : A SENSE OF CONTROL AND MASTERY OF ONE'S BODY, BEHAVIOR AND WORLD, THE CHILD'S SENSE THAT HE IS MORE LIKELY NOT TO SUCCEED AT WHAT HE UNDERTAKES, AND THAT ADULTS WILL BE HELPFUL.

                           👀 2. CURIOSITY : THE SENSE THAT FINDING OUT ABOUT THINGS IS POSITIVE AND LEADS TO PLEASURE.

                        👀   3. INTENTIONALLY : THE WISH AND CAPACITY TO HAVE AN IMPACT, AND TO ACT UPON THAT WITH PERSISTENCE. THIS IS RELATED TO A SENSE OF COMPETENCE, OF BEING EFFECTIVE.

                        👀    4. SELF-CONTROL : THE ABILITY TO MODULATE AND CONTROL ONE'S OWN ACTIONS IN AGE-APPROPRIATE WAYS, A SENSE OF INNER CONTROL.

                       👀    5. RELATEDNESS : THE ABILITY TO ENGAGE WITH OTHERS BASED ON THE SENSE OF BEING UNDERSTOOD BY A UNDERSTANDING OTHERS.

                       👀     6. CAPACITY TO COMMUNICATE : THE WISH AND ABILITY TO VERBALLY EXHANGE IDEAS, FEELINGS, AND CONCEPTS WITH OTHERS. THIS IS RELATED TO SENSE OF TRUST IN OTHERS AND OF PLEASURE IN ENGAGING WITH OTHERS, INCLUDING ADULTS.

                        👀  7. CO OPERATIVENESS : THE ABILITY TO BALANCE ONE'S OWN NEEDS WITH THOSE OF OTHERS IN GROUP ACTIVITY.

                               WHETHER OR NOT A CHILD ARRIVES AT SCHOOL ON THE FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN WITH THESE CAPABILITIES DEPENDS GREATLY ON HOW MUCH HER PARENTS - AND PRESCHOOL TEACHERS - HAVE GIVEN HER THE KIND OF CARE THAT AMOUNTS TO A "HEART START", THE EMOTIONAL EQUIVALENT OF THE HEAD START PROGRAMS.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEEN HEAVEN AND HELL

 

                       

                                    HEAVEN AND HELL

                                         KNOW THYSELF

                          A BELLIGERENT SAMURAI, AND OLD JAPANESE TALE GOES, ONCE CHALLENGED A ZEN MASTER TO EXPLAIN THE CONCEPT OF HEAVEN AND HELL. BUT THE MONK REPLIED WITH SCORN, "YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LOUT - I CAN'T WASTE MY TIME WITH THE LIKES OF YOU".

                       HIS VERY HONOR ATTACKED, THE SAMURAI FLEW INTO A RAGE, AND PULLING HIS SWORD FROM ITS SCABBARD, YELLED, "I COULD KILL YOU FOR YOUR IMPERTINENCE".

                          THAT'S THE MONK CALMLY REPLIED, IS HELL". 

                            STARTLED AT SEEING THE TRUTH IN WHAT THE MASTER POINTED OUT ABOUT THE FURY THAT HAD HIM IN ITS GRIP, THE SAMURAI CALMED DOWN, SHEATHED HIS SWORD, AND BOWED, THANKING THE MONK FOR THE INSIGHT.

                             AND THAT, SAID THE MONK, IS HEAVEN.

                          THE SUDDEN AWAKENING OF THE SAMURAI TO HIS OWN AGITATED STATE ILLUSTRATES THE CRUCIAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING CAUGHT IN A FEELING AND BECOMING AWARE THAT YOU ARE BEING SWEPT AWAY BY IT. SOCRATES' INUNCTION "KNOW THYSELF" SPEAKS TO THIS KEYSTONE OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, AWARENESS OF ONE'S OWN FEELINGS AS THEY OCCUR.

                         IT MIGHT SEEM AT FIRST GLANCE THAT OUR FEELINGS ARE OBVIOUS, MORE THOUGHTFUL REFLECTION REMINDS US OF TIMES WE HAVE BEEN ALL TOO OBVIOUS TO WHAT WE REALLY FELT ABOUT SOMETHING, OR AWOKE TO THESE FEELINGS LATE IN THE GAME. PSYCHOLOGISTS USE THE RATHER PONDEROUS TERM METACOGNITION TO REFER TO AN AWARENESS OF THOUGHT PROCESS, AND METAMOOD TO MEAN AWARENESS OF ONE'S OWN EMOTIONS. I PREFER THE TERM SELF-AWARENESS IN THE SENSE OF AN ONGOING ATTENTION TO ONE'S INTERNAL STATES. IN THIS SELF-REFLEXIVE AWARENESS MIND OBSERVES AND INVESTIGATES EXPERIENCE ITSELF, INCLUDING THE EMOTIONS.

                       THIS QUALITY OF AWARENESS IS AKIN TO WHAT FREUD DESCRIBED AS AN "EVENLY HOVERING ATTENTION" AND WHICH HE COMMENDED TO THOSE WHO WOULD DO PSYCHONALYSIS, SUCH ATTENTION TAKES IN WHATEVER PASSESS THROUGH AWARENESS WITH IMPARTIALITY, AS AN INTERESTED YET UNREACTIVE WITNESS. SOME PSYCHOANALYSTS CALL IT THE "OBSERVING EGO", THE CAPACITY OF SELF-AWARENESS THAT ALLOWS THE ANALYST TO MONITOR HIS OWN REACTIONS TO WHAT THE PATIENT IS SAYING, AND WHICH THE PROCESS OF FREE ASSOCIATION NUTURES IN THE PATIENT.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

                                           AWARENESS

                          PLUMBING THE UNCONSCIOUS

                            ELLIOT'S EMOTIONAL VACUITY SUGGESTS THAT THERE MAY BE A SPECTRUM OF PEOPLE'S ABILITY TO SENSE THEIR EMOTIONS AS THEY HAVE THEM. BY THE LOGIC OF NEUROSCIENCE, IF THE ABSENCE OF A NEUTRAL CIRCUIT LEADS TO A DEFICIT IN AN ABILITY, THEN THE RELATIVE STRENGTH OR WEAKNESS OF THAT SAME CIRCUIT IN PEOPLE WHOSE BRAINS ARE INTACT SHOULD LEAD TO COMPARABLE LEVELS OF COMPETENCE IN THAT SAME ABILITY. IN TERMS OF THE ROLE OF PREFRONTAL CIRCUITS IN EMOTIONAL ATTUNEMENT, THIS SUGGESTS THAT FOR NEOTROLOGICAL REASONS SOME OF US MAY MORE EASILY DETECT THE STIRRING OF FEAR OR JOY THAN DO OTHERS, AND SO BE MORE EMOTIONALLY SELF-AWARE.

                          IT MAY BE THAT A TALENT FOR PSYCHOLOGICAL INTROSPECTION HINGES ON THIS SAME CIRCUITRY. SOME OF US ARE NATURALLY MORE ATTUNED TO THE EMOTIONAL MIND'S SPECIAL SYMBOLIC MODES, METAPHOR AND SIMILE, ALONG WITH POETRY, SONG, AND FABLE, ARE ALL CAST IN THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART. SO TOO ARE DREAMS AND MYTHS, IN WHICH LOOSE ASSOCIATES DETERMINE THE FLOW OF NARRATIVE, ABIDING BY THE LOGIC OF THE EMOTIONAL MIND. THOSE WHO HAVE A NATURAL ATTUNEMENT TO THEIR OWN HEART'S VOICE - THE LANGUAGE OF EMOTION - ARE SURE TO BE MORE ADEPT AT ARTICULATING ITS MESSAGES, WHETHER AS A NOVELIST, SONGWRITER, OR PSYCHOTHERAPIST. THIS INNER ATTUNEMENT SHOULD MAKE THEM MORE GIFTED IN GIVING VOICE TO THE "WISDOM OF THE UNCONSCIOUS" - THE FELT MEANINGS OF OUR DREAMS AND FANTASIES, THE SYMBOLS THAT EMBODY OUR DEEPEST WISHES.

                               SELF-AWARENESS IS FUNDAMENTAL TO PSYCHOLOGICAL INSIGHT, THIS IS THE FACULTY THAT MUCH FOR INTRAPSYCHIC INTELLIGENCE IS SIGMUND FREUD, THE GREAT MAPPER OF THE PSYCHE'S SECRET DYNAMICS. AS FREUD MADE CLEAR, MUCH OF EMOTIONAL LIFE IS UNCONSCIOUS, FEELINGS THAT STIR WITHIN US DO NOT ALWAYS CROSS THE THRESHOLD INTO AWARENESS, EMPIRICAL VERIFICATION OF THIS PSYCHOLOGICAL AXIOM COMES, FOR INSTANCE, FROM EXPERIMENTS ON UNCONSCIOUS EMOTIONS, SUCH AS THE REMARKABLE FINDING THAT PEOPLE FORM DEFINITE LIKINGS FOR THINGS THEY DO NOT EVEN REALIZE THEY HAVE SEEN BEFORE. ANY EMOTION CAN BE - AND OFTEN IS - UNCONSCIOUS.

                          THE PHYSIOLOGICAL BEGINNINGS OF AN EMOTION TYPICALLY OCCUR BEFORE A PERSON IS CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF THE FEELING ITSELF. FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN PEOPLE WHO FEAR SNAKES ARE SHOWN PICTURES OF SNAKES, SENSORS ON THEIR SKIN WILL DETECT SWEAT BREAKING OUT, A SIGN OF ANXIETY, THOUGH THEY SAY THEY DO NOT FEEL ANY FEAR. THE SWEAT SHOWS UP IN SUCH PEOPLE EVEN WHEN THE PICTURE OF A SNEAK IS PRESENTED SO RAPIDLY THAT THEY HAVE NO CONSCIOUS IDEA OF WHAT, EXACTLY, THEY JUST SAW, LET ALONE THAT THEY ARE BEGINNING TO GET ENXIOUS. AN SUCH PRECONSCIOUS EMOTIONAL STIRRINGS CONTINUE TO BUILD, THEY EVENTUALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH TO BREAK INTO AWARENESS. THUS THERE ARE TWO LEVELS OF EMOTIONS, CONSCIOUS AND UNCONSCIOUS. THE MOMENT OF AN EMOTION COMING INTO AWARENESS MARKS ITS REGISTERING AS SUCH IN THE FRONTAL CORTEX.

                       EMOTIONS THAT SIMMER BENEATH THE THRESHOLD OF AWARENESS CAN HAVE A POWERFUL IMPACT ON HOW WE PERCEIVE AND REACT, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE NO IDEA THEY ARE AT WORK. TAKE SOMEONE WHO IS ANNOYED BY A RUDE ENCOUNTER EARLY IN THE DAY, AND THEN IS PEEVISH FOR HOURS AFTERWARD, TAKING AFFRONT WHERE NONE IS INTENTED AND SNAPPING AT PEOPLE FOR NO REAL REASON. HE MAY WELL BE OBVIOUS TO HIS CONTINUING IRRITABILITY AND WILL BE SURPRISED IF SOMEONE CALLS ATTENTION TO IT, THOUGH IT STEWS JUST OUT OF HIS AWARENESS AND DICTATES HIS CURT REPLIES. BUT ONCE THAT REACTION IS BROUGHT INTO AWARENESS - ONCE IT REGISTERS IN THE CORTEX- HE CAN EVALUATE THINGS ANEW, DECIDE TO SHRUG OFF THE FEELINGS LEFT EARLIER IN THE DAY, AND CHANGE HIS OUTLOOK AND MOOD. IN THIS WAY EMOTIONAL SELF-AWARENESS IS THE BUILDING BLOCK OF THE NEXT FUNDAMENTAL OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE BEING ABLE TO SHAKE OFF A BAD MOOD.

WHERE WE GO AFTER DEATH

 

                                    LIFE AFTER DEATH 

                                   SOME EXPERIENCES

 

 

                              THE QUESTION OF LIFE DEATH IS ONE OF THE MOST INTRIGUING RIDDLES CONCERNING THE HUMAN BEINGS, WHICH HAS BEEN BELIEVED BY MANY OF THEM, BUT NOT ALWAYS UNDERSTOOD. EVEN THE MOST PRIMITIVE SOCIETIES, LIKE THE ABORIGINES OF AUSTRALIA BELIEVE IN ANCESTRAL SPIRIT AND BESEECH THEM FOR HELP WHILE IN DISTRESS. AMONG THE MAJOR RELIGIONS SUCH AS JUDAISM, CHRISTIANITY AND ISLAM THIS IS ONE OF THE FUNDAMENTAL CONCEPTS OF THEIR TEACHINGS. HINDU RELIGIONS BELIEVE IN THE REINCARNATION OF THE SOUL, WHERE THIS LIFE IS THE RESULT OF ITS PERFORMANCE IN ITS PREVIOUS LIFE. SAME IS TRUE FOR THE BELIEFS OF THE CHINESE, JAPANESE AND OTHER CIVILIZATIONS OF MANKIND. IN SHORT, THERE IS NO SOCIETY ON THE EARTH WHICH, IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, IS WITHOUT ITS CONCEPT OF LIFE-AFTER-DEATH.

                      LIFE-AFTER-DEATH IS SUCH AN INTRIGUING CONCEPT WHICH MAY NEVER BE VERIFIED IN TERMS OF PHYSICAL MEASURES, THOUGH OCCASIONALLY WE DO OFTEN HEAR ABOUT PEOPLE WHO DIE AND THEN LATER, AFTER FEW HOURS OR SO, COME BACK TO LIFE AGAIN. IN THIS RESPECT, STUDIES OF DR.RAYMOND MOODY, REPORTED IN HIS BOOK "LIFE AFTER DEATH" ARE HIGHLY THOUGHT PROVOKING. IN THIS BOOK, HE HAS INVESTIGATED THE CASES OF ABOUT 150 PERSONS WHO WERE CLINICALLY DECLARED DEAD BUT BUT LATER, MIRACULOUSLY CAME BACK OF LIFE. THE BOOKS IS THE ACCOUNT OF THE INTERVIEWS WHICH SUCH PERSONS EXPERIENCES WHICH HE HAS STUDIED FALL INTO THE FOLLOWING THREE CATAGORIES.

                                  1) THE EXPERIENCES OF PERSONS WHO WERE RESUCIATED AFTER HAVING BEEN THOUGHT, ADJUDGED, OR PRONOUNCED CLINICALLY DEAD BY THEIR DOCTORS.

                                 2) THE EXPERIENCES OF PERSONS WHO, IN THE COURSE OF ACCIDENTS OF SEVERE INJURY OR ILLNESS, CAME VERY CLOSE TO PHYSICAL DEATH.

                               3) THE EXPERIENCE OF PERSONS WHO, AS THEY DIED, TOLD THEM TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO WERE PRESENT. LATER, THESE OTHER PEOPLE REPORTED THE CONTENT OF THE DEATH EXPERIENCE TO THE AUTHOR.

                       DR.RAYMOND MOODY SUMMARISES HIS FINDINGS IN THE 

                                   FOLLOWING WORDS:

                   DESPITE THE WIDE VARIATION IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES SURROUNDINGS CLOSE CALLS WITH DEAL AND IN THE TYPES OF PERSONS UNDERGOING THEM, IT REMAINS TRUE THAT THERE IS STRIKING SIMILARLY AMONG THE ACCOUNTS OF THE EXPERIENCES THEMSELVES, INFACT, THE SIMILARITIES AMONG VARIOUS REPORTS ARE SO GREAT THAT ONE CAN EASILY PICK OUT ABOUT FIFTEEN SEPARATE ELEMENTS WHICH RECUR AGAIN AND AGAIN IN THE MASS OF NARRATIVES THAT I HAVE COLLECTED. ON THE BASIS OF THESE POINTS OF LIKENESS, LET ME NOW CONSTRUCT A BRIEF, THEORETICALLY "IDEAL" OR "COMPLETE" EXPERIENCE WHICH EMBODIES ALL OF THE COMMON ELEMENTS, IN THE ORDER IN WHICH IT IS TYPICAL FOR THEM TO OCCUR.

SOUL AND THE HUMAN BODY

 

                              

                               POSSIBLE MECHANISM

                            WITNESSING OF OUR BODY PARTS AGAINST US IS NO MORE AN INCOMPREHENSIVE THING IN THESE DAYS. IMPORTANCE OF FINGER PRINTS IN CRIMINOLOGY IS AN OLD ART AND WELL KNOWN. BUT THE RECENT DEVELOPMENTS IN THE STUDY OF THE HUMAN BONES, HAIRS, BLOOD, TISSUES, SECRETIONS ETC. ARE HIGHLY STARTLING. A WEALTH OF INFORMATON CAN BE OBTAINED ABOUT AN INDIVIDUALS FROM THE STUDY OF VERY SMALL SAMPLES OF THESE THINGS TAKEN EVEN FROM HIS DEAD BODY. FOR EXAMPLE HUMAN HAIR IS ALREADY BEING USED AS A TELL-TALE EVEN THOUSANDS OF YEARS AFTER DEATH. IT HAS BEEN DISCOVERED  THAT IT HOLDS A PERMANENT RECORD IN CHRONICAL ORDER OF ALL CHEMICALS THAT A PERSON HAS TAKEN. FOR EXAMPLE, USING HIS HAIR, IT HAS BEEN FOUND THAT THE 19TH CENTURY FAMOUS ENGLISH POET JOHN KEATS WAS AN OPIU USER.

                     INTRODUCTION TO THE HUMAN SOUL

                  "  WE HAVE NOT CREATED,

                     THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH,

                     AND ALL THAT IS IN BETWEEN THEM,

                     PURPOSELESS,

                     ONLY THOSE WHO DENY (THE TRUTH)

                     IMAGINE SO".

                         THERE ARE SEVERAL VERSES IN THE HOLY QURAN LIKE THE ABOVE WHICH EMPHASIZE THAT THERE IS A PURPOSE AND MEANING IN THE CREATION AND THE NOTHING IS CREATED FOR NOTHING. ACCORDING TO THIS PRINCIPLE, DOOMSDAY WILL ACTUALLY BE THE FULLFILLMENT OF THE PURPOSE OF THE CREATION OF THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. THIS IS THE REASON WHY THE QURAN DOES NOT CALL IT. "THE END" BUT NAMES IT THE "EVENT" WHICH WILL TRANSFORM ONE STATE OF EXISTENCE INTO ANOTHER. AS HAS BEEN SAID, THE WHOLE PROCESS WILL FOLLOW THE CALCULATED SCHEME OF "DIVINE WILL" AND IN NO CASE IT IS A HAPHAZARD ACCIDENT OF NATURE. INFACT IT IS A REVOLUTION IN THE LONG CHAIN OF EVOLUTION OF THE UNIVERSE TO BRING IT TO ITS LOGICAL CONCLUSION TO CREATE A NEW WORLD AS A DIRECT CONSEQUENCE OF THE PRESENT ONE. THIS PURPOSE OF THE DOOMSDAY IS REVEALED IN THE FOLLOWING VERSE.

                                    "VERILY THE HOUR (OF THE DOOM)

                                     IS TO COME,

                                     MY DESIGN IS TO KEEP IT HIDDEN,

                                     FOR EVERY SOUL TO RECEIVE ITS REWARD,

                                     BY THE MEASURE OF ITS ENDEAVOR"

                                  THUS THE RESURRECTION WILL BE A DAY OF ACCOMPLISHMENT, AN EVEN OF REWARD AND PUNISHMENT FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE EVER BEEN IN EXISTENCE IN THE UNIVERSE, IN OUR WORLD OR ANY OTHER WORLD. IN THIS REGARD HOLY QURAN GUIDES US ON THE CONTINUATION OF THE HUMAN SOUL, DEATH BEING ONLY A TRANSFORMATION FOR IT.