POSITIVE CRITICISM
WHEN I TALK OF CRITICISM, I REFER TO NEGATIVE CRITICISM. WHEN A PERSON IS CRITICIZED, HE BECOMES DEFENSIVE. A CRITIC IS OFTEN LIKE A BACK-SEAT DRIVER WHO DRIVES THE DRIVER MAD. DOES THAT MEAN WE SHOULD NEVER CRITICIZE, NOR CAN WE GIVE POSITIVE CRITICISM?
HOW DO YOU CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM? CRITICIZE WITH A SPIRIT OF HELPFULNESS RATHER THAN AS A PUT-DOWN. OFFER SOLUTIONS IN YOUR CRITICISM. CRITICIZE THE BEHAVIOR NOT THE PERSON, BECAUSE WHEN WE CRITICIZE THE PERSON, WE HURT THEIR SELF-ESTEEM. THE RIGHT TO CRITICIZE COMES WITH THE DESIRE TO HELP. AS LONG AS THE ACT OF CRITICIZING DOES NOT GIVE PLEASURE TO THE GIVER, IT IS OKAY. WHEN GIVING CRITICISM BECOMES A PLEASURE, IT IS TIME TO STOP.'
SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR GIVING CRITICISM THAT MOTIVATES OTHERS:
❤ BE A COACH - CRITICIZE WITH A HELPFUL ATTITUDE. A COACH CRITICIZES TO HELP IMPROVE PERFORMANCE OF THE ATHLETE.
❤ UNDERSTANDING AND CONCERN WILL ACT AS A MOTIVATOR.
❤ THE ATTITUDE SHOULD BE CORRECTIVE RATHER THAN PUNITIVE.
❤ BE SPECIFIC, RATHER THAN SAYING THINGS LIKE, YOU ALWAYS, OR YOU NEVER. VAGUE CRITICISM CAUSES RESENTMENT.
❤ GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT. DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO OUR OPINIONS BUT WE DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO INCORRECT FACTS. DON'T RUSH TO CRITICIZE.
❤ MAINTAIN YOUR COOL BUT BE FIRM.
❤ CRITICIZE TO PERSUADE, NOT INTIMIDATE.
❤ DON'T BE SARCASTIC AS IT BUILDS RESENTMENT.
❤ IF CRITICISM IS GIVEN APPROPRIATELY, IT WILL REDUCE THE NEED FOR REPETITION.
❤ CRITICIZE IN PRIVATE NOT IN PUBLIC. WHY? BECAUSE IT MAINTAINS GOODWILL WHEREAS PUBLIC CRITICISM CAN BE HUMILIATING.
❤ GIVE THE OTHER PERSON AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLAIN HIS SIDE.
❤ SHOW THEM HOW THEY WOULD BENEFIT FROM CORRECTING THEIR MISTAKE.
❤POINT OUT THE LOSS FROM NOT CORRECTING IT.
❤ RATHER THAN TELLING ASK FOR SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT.
❤ QUESTION THE ACTION, NOT THE INTENT, IF INTENT IS IN QUESTION, THEN IT IS BETTER TO TERMINATE THE RELATIONSHIP.
❤ CRITICIZE THE PERFORMANCE, NOT THE PERFORMER.
❤ DON'T EXPRESS PERSONAL RESENTMENT.
❤ KEEP CRITICISM IN PERSPECTIVE. DON'T OVERDO IT. CRITICISM IS LIKE GIVING MEDICATION. THE MEDICATION SHOULD BE THE RIGHT MIXTURE WITH A PERFECT DOSAGE. TOO MUCH WILL HAVE ADVERSE EFFECTS AND TOO LITTLE WILL BE INEFFECTIVE. GIVEN IN A POSITIVE WAY IN THE RIGHT DOSAGE, IT CAN WORK WONDERS.
❤ WHEN SOMEONE REALIZE AND ADMITS HIS MISTAKE AND APOLOGIZES. LET HIM SAVE FACE.
❤ CLOSE ON A POSITIVE NOTE WITH APPRECIATION.
COMPLAINTS
SOME PEOPLE ARE CHRONIC COMPLAINERS. IF IT IS HOT, IT IS TOO HOT. IF IT IS COOL, IT IS TOO COLD. EVERY DAY IS A BAD DAY. THEY COMPLAIN EVEN IF EVERYTHING GOES RIGHT. WHY COMPLAIN? BECAUSE 50% OF THE PEOPLE DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE GOT A PROBLEM AND THE OTHER 50% ARE HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE GOT A PROBLEM. WHAT IS THE POINT OF COMPLAINING? NOTHING COMES OUT OF IT. IT BECOMES A PERSONALITY TRAIT. DOES THAT MEAN WE SHOULD NEVER COMPLAIN OR INVITE COMPLAINTS? NOT AT ALL. JUST LIKE CRITICISM, IF IT IS DONE IS A POSITIVE WAY, COMPLAINTS CAN BE VERY USEFUL. A CONSTRUCTIVE COMPLAINT:
❤ SHOWS THAT THE COMPLAINERS CARES.
❤ GIVES THE RECEIVER OF COMPLAINTS A SECOND CHANCE TO CORRECT HIMSELF.
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