TIPS TO HAVE A HAPPY LIFE

 

   

                                  THE FIRST QUESTION

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                      TODAY YOU SAID THAT THE WAY TO ENLIGHTENMENT IS LONG AND ARDUOUS, AND ALSO THAT IT IS HERE AND NOW, NOW OR NEVER.

                         AS IT IS HERENOW, HOW CAN IT BE LONG AND ARDUOUS?

                   THAT'S WHY IT IS LONG AND ARDUOUS-BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT HERE-NOW. YOU ARE FAR AWAY FROM HERE NOW. YOU WILL HAVE TO COME, YOU WILL HAVE TO JOURNEY.

                   WHEN I SAY TRUTH IS NOT FAR AWAY, I MEAN TRUTH IS HERE-NOW I DON'T MEAN YOU ARE NOT FAR AWAY FROM TRUTH. YOU ARE FAR AWAY FROM TRUTH. TRUTH IS NOT FAR AWAY FROM YOU, GOD CANNOT BE FAR AWAY FROM YOU. GOD EXISTS IN YOU AS YOU. GOD EXISTS AS ETERNITY, NOT AS PAST OR FUTURE. GOD SIMPLY IS. HOW CAN GOD BE FAR AWAY? THERE IS NOT PLACE FOR HIM TO BE FAR AWAY. HE IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. HE IS EVERYWHERE... IN YOUR BREATHING, IN YOUR HEARTBEAT. BUT YOU ARE NOT THERE.

                      GOD HAS NOT GONE AWAY, YOU HAVE GONE AWAY FROM HIM. YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THIS. FOR EXAMPLE, IN THE NIGHT YOU SLEEP AND YOU DREAM-YOU DREAM YOU HAVE GONE TO THE MOON YOU ARE HERE, BUT THE DREAM HAS TAKEN YOU FAR AWAY. IN THE MORNING WHEN YOU AWAKE, YOU WILL NOT FIND YOURSELF ON THE MOON-YOU WILL BE HERE IN POONA. BUT IN THE DREAM YOU WERE FAR AWAY FROM YOUR REALITY. YOU HAVE TO COME BACK FROM YOUR DREAMS... AND THE JOURNEY IS ARDOUS BECAUSE YOU HAVE INVESTED SO MUCH IN THOSE DREAMS, AND YOU ARE HOPING TO GAIN SO MUCH FROM THOSE DREAMS, AND YOU HAVE LIVED IN THOSE DREAMS FOR SO LONG THAT THEY HAVE BECOME REALITY, YOUR REALITY.

                   THE EAST CALLS THIS DREAMING STATE OF MIND MAYA-ILLUSION. AND THEN YOU CAN GO ON SEARCHING FOR GOD IN YOUR ILLUSIONS AND YOU WILL NOT FIND HIM. YOU HAVE TO AWAKE. AND TO BE AWAKE IS ARDUOUS BECAUSE A THOUSAND AND ONE DREAMS WILL BE SHATTERED. AND IN THOSE DREAMS ALL YOUR JOYS, ALL YOUR SO-CALLED SUCCESS, AMBITIONS, ARE INVOLVED. YOUR WHOLE EGO IS INVOLVED. THE EGO WILL BE SHATTERED.

                   YOU ARE HERE  BUT THE EGO HAS GONE TO THE MOON-AND THE EGO CAN ONLY LIVE THROUGH DREAMS, IT CAN ONLY LIVE THROUGH ILLUSIONS. IT IS NOURISHED BY ILLUSIONS. THE MORE ILLUSIONS YOU HAVE, THE MORE GRANDIOSE AN EGO YOU HAVE. THE GREATER YOUR ILLUSIONS, THE BIGGER YOUR EGO. IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO RENOUNCE THOSE DREAMS.

                        IN THE EAST THIS IS CALLED SANNYAS, TO RENOUNCE THOSE DREAMS. WHEN IT IS SAID, "RENOUNCE THE WORLD", IT IS NOT MEANT THE ACTUAL WORLD-THE WIFE, THE HUSBAND, THE CHILDREN, THE HOUSE, THE MARKETPLACE. NO, NOT AT ALL. WHAT IS REALLY MEANT IS THIS DREAMWORLD IN WHICH YOU GO ON CONSTANTLY MOVING AWAY FROM YOURSELF AND AWAY FROM REALITY. RENOUNCE THE DREAM! AND THAT IS ARDUOUS.

                      NOW, LET ME READ YOUR QUESTION AGAIN:

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                       TODAY YOU SAID THAT THE WAY TO ENLIGHTENMENT IS LONG AND ARDUOUS - IT IS - AND ALSO THAT IT IS HERE AND NOW- IT IS . AS IT IS HERENOW, HOW CAN IT BE LONG AND ARDUOUS?

                       THAT'S WHY . YOU ARE NOT TO GO ANYWHERE, YOU HAVE TO COME HERE!YOU HAVE ALREADY GONE SOMEWHERE. YOU HAVE MOVED AWAY FROM YOUR INNERMOST CORE. YOU NEVER COME HOME. AND GOD EXISTS THERE, BUT YOU KEEP GOD AT YOUR BACK. YOUR EYES ARE ROAMING FAR AWAY IN DISTANT STARS, THEY NEVER COME BACK. FROM ONE STAR TO ANOTHER YOU GO ON HOPPING. YOUR MIND IS A VAGABOND.

                       SO IT IS ARDUOUS AND YET IT IS EASY. THE CONTRADICTION IS ONLY APPARENT. IT IS ARDUOUS BECAUSE OF YOU, IT IS EASY BECAUSE OF GOD.  IF YOU THINK OF GOD YOU CAN IT VERY EASILY, YOU CAN RELAX. IF YOU DEPEND ON YOURSELF, IT IS VERY ARDUOUS. 

                        THAT'S WHY I SAY IF YOU DEPEND ON YOURSELF, IF YOU DEPEND ON YOU EFFORT, YOU MAY NEVER BACK BECAUSE IT IS THROUGH EFFORT THAT YOU HAVE GONE AWAY. YOU HAVE TO SURRENDER. IN THAT VERY SURRENDERING, GRACE DESCENDS.

                       AND WHAT CAN YOU SURRENDER?WHAT HAVE YOU GOT? WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF SURRENDER? YOU HAVE GOT ONLY DREAMS AND NOTHING ELSE, JUST SOAP-BUBBLES.

                     SURRENDER YOUR DREAMS AND THE TRUTH IS HERENOW. THAT'S WHY I SAY NOW OR NEVER .. BECAUSE EXISTENCE ALWAYS EXISTS IN THE NOW, AND THE MIND EXISTS IN THE THEN. EXISTENCE IS HERE AND THE MIND IS ALWAYS THERE, AND THEY NEVER MEET. HERE AND THE NEVER MEET, NOW AND THEN NEVER MEET . HERE AND THERE YOUR MIND, IT IS VERY RARE TO COME ACROSS A CONTEMPORARY.

                     SOMEBODY IS LIVING FIVE THOUSAND YEARS BACK, HE IS STILL PART OF THE DAYS OF RIG VEDA. HE IS STILL READING RIG VEDA. HE IS STILL FOLLOWING THE VEDIC RITUAL. FIVE THOUSAND YEAR HAVE PASSED, BUT HE HAS NOT COME HERE NOW. HE LIVES THERE IN THE DEAD, IN THE GONE, IN THE MEMORY.

ABOUT MARRIAGE LIFE

 

                         THE KEY TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

                   PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS COMPATIBILITY. THE TWO PEOPLE ARE IDEALLY BALANCED WITH EACH OTHERS, WITH EACH ONE POSSESSING COMLPLEMENTARY QUALITIES AND CHARACTERISTICS THAT COMBINE COMFORTABLY TO FORM A PERFECT BALANCE.

                  PEOPLE OFTEN SAY THAT "OPPOSITE ATTRACT". THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING. OPPOSITES ATTRACT IN ONLY ONE AREA, AND THAT IS TEMPERAMENT. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MOST COMPATIBLE WITH A PERSON WHO HAS AN OPPOSITE OR COUNTERBALANCING TEMPERAMENT TO YOUR OWN.

                       FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU ARE OUTGOING AND EXTROVERTED, YOU WILL BE MOST COMPATIBLE WITH A PERSON WHO IS MORE RESERVERD AND SELF-CONTAINED. IF YOU ARE VOLUBLE AND EXPRESSIVE, YOU WILL BE MOST COMPATIBLE WITH A PERSON WHO IS RELAXED AND GOOD LISTENER. NATURE DEMANDS A BALANCE IN TEMPERAMENT FOR TWO PEOPLE TO BE COMPATIBLE AND HAPPY TOGETHER.

                                                     BIRDS OF A FEATHER

                 IN ALL OTHER AREAS, ESPECIALLY IN THE AREA OF VALUES, IT IS SIMILARITIES THAT ATTRACT. BIRDS OF A FEATHER, DO FLOCK TOGETHER. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE AND MOST COMPATIBLE WITH THOSE WHO HAVE THE GREATER NUMBER OF FUNDAMENTAL VALUES IN COMMON WITH YOURSELF.

                ALL OF LOVE, OF ANY KIND, IS A RESPONSE TO VALUE. WE LOVE WHAT WE MOST VALUE, REGARDING, THEY SEEM TO HAVE VERY MUCH THE SAME VALUES REGARDING FAMILY, MONEY, ETHICS, WORK, CHILDREN, POLITICS, RELIGION, AND PEOPLE.

             PEOPLE WILL OFTEN POINT OUT THAT THERE ARE HAPPY COUPLES WHO VOTE FOR DIFFERENT PARTIES OR COME FROM DIFFERENT RELIGIOUS BACKGROUNDS. BUT THE CRITICAL ISSUE IN BALANCE AND HARMONY REVOLVES AROUND THE UNTENSITY WITH WHICH A PERSON VALUES SOMETHING. THIS INTENSITY DETERMINES IF A PERSON VALUES SOMETHING. THIS INTENSITY DETERMINES IF A PERSON IS ABSOLUTE AND UNBENDING OR RELAXED AND FLEXIBLE IN HIS OR HER ADHERENCE TO A PARTICULAR BELIEF ABOUT A PARTICULAR PART OF LIFE.

               PEOPLE CAN LOVE AND LIVE TOGETHER HAPPILY FOR MANY YEARS EVEN THOUGH THEY SUPPORT DIFFERENT POLITICAL PARTIES, AS LONG AS POLITICAL BELIEF IS NOT SO IMPORTANT TO EITHER OF THEM THAT IT TAKES PRECEDENCE OVER MORE IMPORTANT ELEMENTS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP SUCH AS CHILDREN, FAMILY, AND VALUES.

                                   LOVE IS OUR GREATEST NEED IN LIFE

                IT IS SAID THAT "EVERYTHING WE DO IN LIFE IS EITHER TO GET LOVE, OR TO COMPENSATE FOR A LACK OF LOVE". PSYCHOLOGISTS GENERALLY AGREE THAT THE ROOT CAUSE OF PERSONALITY PROBLEMS IN ADULT LIFE CAN BE TRACED BACK TO "LOVE WITHHELD" IN INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD.

                PEOPLE NEED LOVE LIKE ROSES NEED RAIN. WITHOUT SUFFICIENT LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE, INDIVIDUALS EXHIBIT ALL KINDS OF PERSONALITY AND PHYSICAL PROBLEMS. IT IS ONLY POSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY WHEN YOUR NEEDS FOR LOVE ARE COMPLETELY FULFILLED.

                 A HAPPY MARRIAGE REQUIRES TREMENDOUS SELF-DISCIPLINE AND SELF-CONTROL. LOVE REQUIRES SELF-DENIAL AND SACRIFICE. WHEN YOU ARE TRULY IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER PERSON, THAT PERSON'S HAPPINESA AND WELL-BEING BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAT YOUR OWN. YOU ARE WILLING TO PAY WHATEVER PRICE AND MAKE WHATEVER SACRIFICE IN ORDER TO ENSURE THE WELL-BEING OF THE PERSON YOU LOVE.

                 IN THE CHRISTIAN BIBLE IN A LETTER TO THE CORINTHIANS,THE APOSTLE PAUL SAYS, "LOVE SUFFERETH LONG, AND IS KIND, LOVE ENVIETH NOT, LOVE AVENGETH NOT ITSELF, IS NOT PUFFED UP.

                " LOVE DOTH NOT BEHAVE ITSELF UNSEEMLY, SEEKETH NOT HIS OWN, IS NOT EASILY PROVOKED, THINKETH NO EVIL.

                   LOVE REJOICES NOT IN INIQUITY, BUT REJOICES IN THE TRUTH, 

                    LOVE BEARETH ALL THINGS, BELIEVETH ALL THINGS, HOPETH ALL THINGS, ENDURETH ALL THINGS. LOVE NEVER FAILS".

                                   DIFFERENT STROKES REQUIRE

                                          TOLERANCE AND UNDERSTANDING

                      EACH PERSON IS AN INDIVIDUAL, WITH UNIQUE AND SPECIAL CHARACTERISTICS THAT MAKE HIM OR HER DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHER PEOPLE. EACH PERSON HAS DIFFERENT IDEAS, TASTES, DESIRES, HOPES, DREAMS, AND EXPECTATIONS. EACH PERSON HAS HAD DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES AND DEVELOPED DIFFERENT WAYS OF SEEING AND DEALING WITH THE WORLD AROUND HIM OR HER.

                    WHEN YOU COME TOGETHER WITH ANOTHER PERSON IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP, NO MATTER HOW CLOSE YOU FEEL TO EACH OTHER AND NO MATTER HOW COMPATIBLE YOU MAY BE IN MANY WAYS, YOU WILL STILL HAVE AREAS OF DIAGREEMENT, DISSATISFACTION, AND DISCONTENT. THIS IS NORMAL AND NATURAL AND SOMETHING TO BE WORKED THROUGH BY PRACTICING SELF-DISCIPLINE WHENEVER THESE DIFFERENCES OCCUR.

                  SELF-DISCIPLINE IN A RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES THAT YOU BE COMPLETELY HONEST AND OPEN, THAT YOU BE YOURSELF AND NEVER TRY TO BE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE. SELF-DISCIPLINE AND HONESTY REQUIRE THAT YOU STATE CLEARLY WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AND FEELING, WITHOUT ANGER OR IRRITATION, AND THAT YOU LISTEN CALMLY AND PATIENTLY TO THE FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, AND OPINIONS OF THE OTHER PERSON.