THE DISCIPLINE OF LISTENING
LISTEN ATTENTIVELY. THE FIRST DISCIPLINE IS TO LISTEN ATTENTIVELY, WITHOUT INTERUPPTING. LISTEN AS THOUGH THE OTHER PERSON IS ABOUT TO REVEAL A GREAT SECRET OR THE WINNING LOTTERY NUMBER AND YOU WILL HEAR IT ONLY ONCE.
WHEN SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU, IF YOU ARE A MAN, PUT ASIDE ALL POSSIBLE DISTRACTIONS. TURN OFF THE TELEVISION OR RADIO. PUT DOWN THE NEWSPAPER OR MAIL. FACE HER DIRECTLY, LEAN SLIGHTLY FORWARD, AND CONCENTRATE SINGLE-MINDEDLY ON WHAT SHE IS SAYING.
THE BOOK HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS POINTS OUT THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT NEED THAT A WOMAN HAS FROM A MAN IS AFFECTION. AFFECTION IS EXPRESSED BY PAYING TOTAL ATTENTION TO HER WHEN SHE SPEAKS. SINCE YOU ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU MOST VALUE, WHEN YOU PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO ANOTHER PERSON WHILE SHE SPEAKS, YOU TELL THAT PERSON THAT SHE IS OF GREAT VALUE TO YOU. THIS SATISFIES THE DEEPEST SUBCONSCIOUS NEEDS OF A WOMAN - TO FEEL VALUABLE, IMPORTANT, AND RESPECTED.
PAUSE BEFORE REPLYING. THE SECOND DISCIPLINE OF LISTENING IS TO PAUSE BEFORE REPLYING. TAKE A FEW SECONDS TO CAREFULLY CONSIDER WHAT HE OR SHE HAS SAID. WHEN YOU PAUSE, YOU AVOID THE RISK OF INTERUPPTING THE OTHER PERSON IF SHE IS JUST REFORMULATING HER THOUGHTS. YOU TELL THAT YOU VALUE WHAT SHE SAID THAT YOU ARE GIVING HER WORDS CAREFUL CONSIDERATION.
ANOTHER ADVANTAGE OF PAUSING, OF ALLOWING A SILENCE IN THE CONVERSATION, IS THAT IT ENABLES YOU TO HEAR NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAID, BUT ALSO WHAT WAS NOT SAID OR WHAT WAS SAID BETWEEN THE LINES. THE ACTUAL MESSAGE SOAKS INTO A DEEPER LEVEL OF YOUR MIND, ENABLING YOU TO UNDERSTAND BETTER AND TO THEREFORE RESPOND WITH GREATER AWARENESS AND SENSITIVITY.
