POSITIVE ONE
ONE DAY I WAS HAVING LUNCH WITH A FRIEND IN A COFFE SHOP LOCATED IN A LARGE CONVENTION HOTEL. WHILE WE WERE WAITING FOR OUR LUNCH, WE WERE DISCUSSING NEGATIVE SELF-TALK AND COMMENTING ON HOW WE END UP BECOMING THE RESULT OF WHAT WE SAY TO OURSELVES. DURING OUR DISCUSSION, A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF THAT VERY THING HAPPENDED.
AS OUR WAITRESS APPROACHED OUR TABLE WITH BOTH ARMS FILLED WITH PLATES OF FOOD, SHE STUMBLED AND DROPPED AN ARMLOAD OF HOT FOOD ON THE TABLE AND FLOOR IN FRON OF US, AND EXCLAIMED LOUDLY, "OH, I'M SO CLUMSY!".
MY FRIEND AND I HAD WITNESSED A FIRSTHAND EXAMPLE OF THE RESULT OF THE SIMPLEST KIND OF NEGATIVE SELF-TALK. I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES BEFORE THAT WAITRESS HAD TOLD HERSELF SHE WAS CLUMSY. BUT SHE UNDOUDTEDLY SAID IT TO HERSELF OFTEN ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT IT WAS TRUE, AND TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.
AS ANOTHER EXAMPLE, LET'S TAKE SOMETHING AS COMMON AS THE PROBLEM OF NOT BEIG TO REMEMBER NAMES. FOR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS YOU MAY HAVE SAID TO YOURSELF" I CAN NEVER REMEMBER NAMES". THEN ONE EVENING YOU GO TO A PARTY. YOU ARE INTRODUCED TO SOMEONE WHOSE NAME YOU WANT TO REMEMBER AND YOU SAY TO YOURSELF".I AM GOINT TO REMEMBER THIS PERSON'S NAME. WHAT HAPPENS TEN SECONDS LATER? YOU FORGET THE NAME. WHY? BECAUSE FOR THE PAST TWENTY-FIVE YEARS YOU HAVE BEEN TELLING YOURSELF THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL DO. YOU HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMING YOUSELF TO FORGET.
MINUTES LATER, AT THE PARTY, YOU FIND YOURSELF STANDING THERE, A LITTLE EMBARRED, MENTALLY GOING THROUGH THE ALPHABET, TRYING TO REMEMBER THE PERSON'S NAME. AND MEANWHILE, AS YOU'RE FEELING FORGETFUL AND FOOLISH, YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS, FEELING VERY PROUND IS SAYING, "SEE, I DID WHAT YOU ME TO. I MADE YOU FORGET THE NAME".,
IF YOUR SELF-TALK, THE DIRECTIONS, YOU WIRI INTO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, WILL DO THAT, DON'T YOU SUPPOSE IT WILL DO WHATEVER ELSE YOU TELL IT TO DO? IF YOU WERE TO REPROGRAM SOMEONE STRONGLY ENOUGH FOR THE TO BELIEVE THAT IT WAS SAFE TO DRIVE UP TO AN INTERSECTION AND TURN THE WRONG WAY INTO ONCOMING TRAFIC, THEY WOULD DO IT. THE HUMAN BRAIN WILL DO ANYTHING POSSIBLE YOU TELL IT TO DO IF YOU TELL IT OFTEN ENOUGH AND STRONGLY ENOUGH. IF YOU TELL IT THE WRONG THING ABOUT YOURSELF, THAT IS WHAT IT WILL ACCEPT - AND ACT UPON.
THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND DOES NOT SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE STATEMENT THAT WE ARE CLUMSY AND THE STATEMENT THAT WE ARE GRACEFUL, WELL COORDINATED, AND IN CONTROL, IT DOES NOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING TOLD THAT WE ARE POOR, AND THE STATEMENT THAT WE ARE WEALTHY. IT ACCEPTS OUR PROGRAMMING JUST AS WE GIVE IT.
OUR INTERNAL PROGRAMMING MECHANISM TREATS ANYTHING WE TELL IT WITH EQUAL INDIFFERENCE. AS A RESULT, WHEN WE CASUALLY STATE, NO MATTER WHAT I DO, I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO MAKE ENDS MEET". OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND SAYS, OKAY, I'LL DO MEET". IN TURN IT WILL UNLEASH ITS POWERFUL CONTROL OVER OUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL SELF TO ACHIEVE THE RESULT IT WAS TOLD TO ACCOMPLISH.
I MET ONE GENTLEMAN WHOM I WOULD CONSIDER TO BE A FINE MAN, BUT UNFORTUNATE. AFTER TWENTY YEARS OF MARRIAGE, RAISING SEVERAL CHILDREN INTO THEIR TEENS, AND BUILDING A PROFITABLE BUSINESS TO HIS PARTNERS. WHAT INTRIGUED ME ABOUT HIS MAN'S STORY WAS THAT HE TALKED ONLY OF HIS FAILURES, HIS DEFEATS, HIS DOWNFALL, AND THE PROBLEMS HE ANTICIPATED FOR HIS FUTURE. IT WAS SAD TO SEE SOMEONE WITH HIS DEPTH, HIS WARMTH, AND HIS CAPABILITIES COMPLETELY SUBJECTED TO THE FAILURES HE HAD LONG AGO CREATED FOR HIMSELF IN HIS OWN MIND.
AS WAS THE CASE WITH THAT INDIVIDUALS, OUR BRAINS WILL AFFECT AND INFLUENCE WHAT WE DO IN EVERY AREA OF OUR LIVES, THROUGH THAT COMPLEX PROCESS OF ELECTROCHEMICAL PHYSIOLOGICAL CONTROLS I DESCRIBED EARLIER. IT WILL DIRECTLY AFFECT EVERYTHING ABOUT US, FROM HOW WE GET ALONG WITH SOMEONE AT HOME TO THE AMOUNT OF MONEY WE EARN.
A TYPICAL EXAMPLEOF THIS IS OUR OWN SELF-ACCEPTED BELIEFS ABOUT OUR PERSONAL FINANCIAL CAPABILITIES - OR LIMITATIONS, UNLESS WE CHANGE THE PROGRAMS WE GAVE TO OURSELVES, THE ONES THAT TOLS US WE CAN'T SEEM TO EARN ENOUGH MONEY, OUR SUBCONSCIOUS WILL SUCCESSFULLY ACCOMPLISH ITS PROGRAMMED TASK OF KEEPING US EARNING LESS THAN WE WOULD LIKE. HAD WE GIVEN IT THE RIGHT PROGRAMMING, THAT SAME SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, INSTEAD OF KEEPING US POOR OR OF AVERAGE MEANS, WOULD JUST AS GLADLY HAVE MADE US RICH IN EVERY WAY.
THE MACHINE THAT NEVER SLEEPS
YOUR SUBCONSIOUS MIND IS WORKING RIGHT NOW. IT IS WORKING DAY AND NIGHT, TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU BECOME PRECISELY THE PERSON YOU HAVE UNCONSCIOUSLY DESCRIBED YOURSELF TO BE. IF YOUR PROGRAMS PICTURE YOU AS HAVING TROUBLE EARNING ENOUGH INCOME, YOUR SUBCONSIOUS MIND IS DOING EVERYTHING IT CAN, RIGHT NOW, TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVE TROUBLE EARNING MORE MONEY. IF YOU HAVE CONDITIONED YOURSELF TO BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN'T STICK TO A DIET, YOU CAN BE SURE THAT YOUR SUBCONSIOUS MIND WILL MAKE SURE THAT NO DIET WILL WORK FOR YOU - AT LEAST NOT FOR LONG. YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS CAN ONLY DO FOR YOU WHAT YOU (AND OTHERS) TELL IT TO DO.
IN A PREVIOUS CHAPTER, I POITED OUT THAT DURING THE FORMATIVE YEARS OF OUR LIVES, EACH OF US IS TOLD "NO" OR WHAT WE CANNOT DO, MANY THOUSANDS OF TIMES. EACH OF THOSE "CANNOTS" WAS A DIRECTIVE TO OUR SUBCONSIOUS MINDS.
AND AS WE, BECAUSE OF OUR CONDITIONING, BEGAN TO FOLLOW SUIT AND SAY SIMILAR "CANNOTS" TO OURSELVES, WE FELL INTO THE UNCONSCIOUS HABIT OF PROGRAMMING OURSELVES IN THE SAME WRONG WAY AS DID OUR PARENTS, FRIENDS, AND OTHERS AROUND US. AND RIGHT NOW, AT THIS MOMENT, EACH OF OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MINDS IT WORKING TO MAKE SURE WE BECOME JUST AS THOSE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF NEGATIVE DIRECTIONS PROGRAMMED US TO BE.
SINCE THAT TIME, OF COURSE, WE HAVE CONTINUED TO GIVE OURSELVES NEW PROGRAMS. THE EXAMPLES OF NEGATIVE STATEMENTS I GAVE YOU EARLIER ARE ONLY A FEW LEAVES IN A FOREST OF NEGATIVE SELF -TALK. INFACT, MOST OF OUR AVERAGE, HABIT-FORMED, EVERYDAY SELF- TALK IS MADE UP OF THE QUIET NUDGES OF SELF-DOUBT, THE UNSPOKEN FEARS OF LITTLE (OR GRAND) FAILURES, AND THE NAGGING DISCOMFORT OF KNOWING THAT THINGS AREN'T RIGHT.
WHEN WE TALK TO OUR FRIENDS, IT SOMETIMES SEEMS EASIER TO TALK ABOUT PROBLEMS THAN ABOUT EXCITING POTENTIAL. OUR DAILY CONVERSATION SCRIPTS OFTEN SOUND LIKE THEY WERE WRITTEN BY THE SAME EDITORS WHO WRITE THE HEADLINES FOR THE LATEST VIRAL BAD NEWS STORY. WE LIVE, IN OUR POORLY PROGRAMMED UNCONSCIOUS MINDS, IN THE DISQUIETING SHADOW-WORLD OF UNCERTAINLY BELIEVING THAT WE SHOULD BE ACHIEVING, BUT NOT KNOWING WHY, AFTER SO MUCH FRUSTRATION AND TRYING, WE ARE NOT.
BY THE TIME MOST OF US REACH ADULTHOOD, WE ARE SO CONDITIONED TO THINK IN A CERTAIN WAY THAT OUR PATTERN OF SELF-TALK BECOMES HABIT THAT IS PHYSICALLY WIRED INTO OUR BRAINS. IT IS FIXED. AND FOR MOST IT REMAINS THAT WAY. HOW WE LOOK AT LIFE, WHAT WE BELIEVE ABOUT OURSELVES, HOW WE VIEW ANYTHING, AND WHAT WE DO ABOUT IT. GETS FILTERED THROUGH OUR PRECONCEPTIONS.
WE HAVE TOLD OURSELVES OVER AND OVER, CONSCIOUSLY AND UNCONSCIOUSLY, WHAT DOES NOT WORK. IN THE PAST, TOO OFTEN WE LEARNED TO AUTOMATICALLY BELIEVE THE WORST FIRST, AND THE BEST LAST. BUT NOW WE HAVE LEARNED THAT IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. THERE IS SOMETHING, STARTING RIGHT NOW, THAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. IT IS THE KEY TO HOW YOU MANAGE YOURSELF, AND HOW YOU LIVE AND MANAGE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
