THE DEFINITION OF SELF-TALK
WHAT IS SELF-TALK, AND HOW DOES IT WORK? THE DEFINITION OF SELF-TALK, AS WE'RE USING IT THROUGHOUT THIS BOOK, CAN BE SIMPLY STATED. SELF-TALK IS A WAY TO OVERRIDE OUR PAST NEGATIVE PROGRAMMING BY ERASING OR REPLACING IT WITH CONSCIOUS, NEW POSITIVE DIRECTIONS. SELF-TALK IS A PRACTICAL WAY TO LIVE OUR LIVES BY ACTIVE INTENT RATHER THAN BY PASSIVE ACCEPTANCE.
WITH SELF-TALK, WE HAVE A WAY TO GIVE NEW DIRECTIONS TO OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MINDS BY TALKING TO OURSELVES IN A DIFFERENT WAY, CONSCIOUSLY REPROGRAMMING OUR INTERNAL CONTROLS CENTERS WITH WORDS AND STATEMENTS THAT ARE MORE EFFECTIVE, MORE HELPFUL TO EVERY PART OF US THAT WE WOULD LIKE TO IMPROVE. THE SELF-TALK STATEMENTS PAINT A NEW INTERNAL PICTURE OF OURSELVES AS WE WOULD MOST LIKE TO BE.
SELF-TALK GIVES EACH OF US A WAY TO CHANGE WHAT WE WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE, EVEN IF WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO SO IN THE PAST, IT OFFERS US THE CHANCE TO STOP BEING THE OLD SELF AND START BEING A DIFFERENT, BETTER SELF, A SELF THAT IS NO LONGER THE PRODUCT OF CONDITIONED RESPONSE BUT GOVERNED INSTEAD BY PERSONAL CHOICE.
ACTUALLY, THERE ARE SEVERAL KINDS OF SELF-TALK. EACH OF US, EACH DAY, MAY USE ANY OF FIVE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SELF-TALK . EACH LEVEL IS SPECIFIC AND DISTINCT FROM THE OTHERS. SOME OF THE LEVELS WORK FOR US, AND SOME WORK AGAINST US. THE MORE YOU KNOW ABOUT EACH OF THEM, THE FASTER AND MORE EASILY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO MASTER USING THE RIGHT KIND OF SELF-TALK FOR YOURSELF.
THE LEVEL OF NEGATIVE ACCEPTANCE
THE FIVE LEVELS OF SELF-TALK AT THE LOWEST, LEAST BENEFICIAL LEVEL. AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST - AND THE MOST HARMFUL SELF-TALK WE CAN USE - IS LEVEL 1, THE LEVEL OF NEGATIVE ACCEPTANCE. THAT IS SELF-TALK BY WHICH YOU SAY SOMETHING BAD OR NEGATIVE ABOUT YOURSELF, AND YOU ACCEPT IT.
EARLIER, WE DISCUSSED SEVERAL DOZEN COMMONLY USED SELF-TALK STATEMENTS AND PHRASES. ALL OF THEM WERE LEVEL 1 SELF-TALK. THIS LEVEL IS EASY TO SPOT. IT IS ALMOST ALWAYS CHARACTERIZED BY THE WORDS, "I CAN'T... OR IF ONLY I COULD ... OR I WISH I COULD ... AND SO ON. ALL LEVEL 1 SELF-TALK WORKS AGAINST US, AND UNFORTUNTELY, IT IS THE MOST FREQUENTLY USED SELF-TALK OF ALL.
I JUST DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY I USED TO, "I COULD NEVER DO THAT, I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO LOSE WEIGHT, WELL, I JUST DON'T KNOW, TODAY'S JUST NOT MY DAY, AND I JUST CAN'T ARE TYPICAL OF THE KINDS OF DOUBTS, FEARS, MISGIVINGS, AND HESITATIONS WE PROGRAM OURSELVES WITH WHEN WE SAY ANY LEVEL 1 SELF-TALK PHRASE TO OURSELVES, OUT LOUD, SILENTLY, OR TO SOMEONE ELSE. REMEMBER, THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND IS LISTENING AND WAITING FOR OUR INSTRUCTIONS, AND IT DOESN'T CARE WHAT WE TELL IT, IT JUST DOES WHAT WE INSTRUCT IT TO DO!
LEVEL 1 SELF-TALK REPRESENTS EVERYTHING FROM OUR SIMPLEST MISGIVINGS TO THE WORST FEARS WE HAVE ABOUT OURSELVES. IT IS OUR WAY TO TELLING TO HESITATE, QUESTION OUR CAPABILITIES, AND ACCEPT LESS THAN WE KNOW WE COULD HAVE DONE, HAD WE ONLY GIVEN OURSELVES A CHANCE. IT IS OUR WAY OF TIMIDLY HIDING IN THE SHADOWS INSTEAD OF BOLDLY THRIVING IN THE SUNSHINE.
THERE IS NO WAY TO ESTIMATE THE AMOUNT OF HAVOC AND MISDIRECTION THAT LEVEL 1 SELT-TALK WREAKS IN OUR LIVES. IT CLUTTERS,BLOCKS, AND CONFUSES. IT TURNS SELF-ASSURANCE INTO SELF-DOUBT AND CHAOS. IT CRIPPLES OUR BEST INTENTIONS AND SEDUCES US INTO BECOMING SATISFIED WITH MEDIOCRITY. IT IS THE HEART OF A "GET BY" ATTITUDE, ITS SUBTLE WHISPERS TELLING US TO PASSIVELY ACCEPT A FATE FAR LESS GREAT THAN WE HAD ONCE DREAMED OF ATTAINING. IT IS THE MYTHICAL SIREN THAT DRAW US ONTO THE SHORE, DASHING OUR HOPES ON REEFS OF DESPAIR AND COMPLACENCY.
IMAGINE GOING THROUGH YOUR LIFE USING THAT KIND OF SELF-TALK ON YOURSELF!
