BE WILLING TO CHANGE
EVERY MARRIAGE IS A "WORK IN PROGRESS" . AS TIME PASSES, THE NATUREOF YOUR MARRIAGE WILL CHANGE, USUALLY IN POSSITIVE AND CONSTRUCTIVE WAYS.
TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP HAPPY, HARMONIOUS, AND GROWING, YOU MUST BE WILLING TO CHANGE IN RESPONSE TO CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES, ESPECIALLY HAVING CHILDREN AND WATCHING THEM GROW UP. YOU NEED TO BE PREPARED TO CHANGE WITH AGE, NEW JOBS AND CAREERS, PHYSICAL MOVES FROM ONE PART OF THE COUNTRY TO ANOTHER, CHANGES IN FINANCIAL CIRCUMSTANCES, AND CHANGES IN HEALTH. FLEXIBILITY IS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL TO A LONG, HAPPY MARRIAGE.
THERE ARE FOUR WAYS THAT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE. FIRST, YOU CAN DO MORE OF SOME THINGS. SECOND, YOU CAN DO LESS OF OTHER THINGS. THIRD, YOU CAN START SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE. AND FOURTH, YOU CAN STOP CERTAIN THINGS ALTOGETHER. WHENEVER YOU ARE EXPERIENCING RESISTANCE OR FRUSTRATION OR YOU ARE CONFRONTED WITH THE NEED FOR CHANGE, ASK YOURSELF, "IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I NEED TO DO MORE OF, LESS OF, START, OR STOP DOING"?
THE FOUR QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK
ON A REGULAR BASIS, YOU SHOULD SIT DOWN WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND LATER WITH YOUR CHILDREN TO HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK THEM THESE FOUR QUESTION:
1. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I AM DOING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO DO MORE OFF?
2. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I AM DOING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO DO LESS OF?
3. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO START DOING THAT I AM NOT DOING TODAY?
4. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I AM DOING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO STOP DOING ALTOGETHER?
WHEN YOU HAVE THE COURAGE AND DISCIPLINE TO ASK THESE QUESTION OF YOUR SPOUSE AND YOUR CHILDREN ON A REGULAR BASIS, YOU WILL BE AMAZED AT THE QUALITY AND DEPTH OF THE ANSWERS YOU RECEIVE. YOU WILL GET CONTINUAL GUIDANCE ON HOW YOU CAN MODIFY AND ADJUST YOUR BEHAVIOR TO MAINTAIN HIGHER LEVELS OF HARMONY, HAPPINESS, AND LOVE WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND THE OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY.
YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD BE YOUR BEST FRIEND
LOVE AND MARRIAGE ARE PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENTS OF A HAPPY, FULFILLING LIFE. THEY REQUIRE A LIFELONG EXERCISE OF SELF-DISCIPLINE AND WILLPOWER TO CREATE AND MAINTAIN HARMONY. THEY REQUIRE THAT YOU BE OPEN, HONEST, AND CANDID AT ALL TIMES.
MOST OF ALL, A HAPPY, A LOVING MARRIAGE REQUIRES THAT YOU SEE YOUR SPOUSE AS YOUR BESTFRIEND. THERE SHOULD BE NO ONE IN THE WORLD WHO YOU WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME WITH MORE THAN HIM OR HER. THERE SHOULD BE NO ONE WITH WHOM YOU ARE MORE OPEN AND HONEST THAN WITH HIM OR HER. WHEN YOU SEE YOUR SPOUSE AS YOUR BEST FRIEND AND TREAT HIM OR HER AS SUCH, YOU CAN CREATE A LOVING RELATIONSHIP THAT LASTS ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIVES.
AS EMMER FOX, A SPIRITUAL WRITER AND TEACHER, WROTE,
LOVE IS BY FAR THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL. IT CASTS OUT FEAR. IT IS THE FULFILLING OF THE LAW. IT COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SINS. LOVE IS ABSOLUTELY INVINCIBLE.
THERE IS NO DIFFICULTY THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT CURE, NO DISEASE THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT HEAL, NO DOOR THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT OPEN, NO GULF THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT BRIDGE, NO WALL THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT THROW DOWN, NO SIN THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT REDEEM.
IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE HOW DEEPLY SEATED MAY BE THE TROUBLE, HOW HOPELESS THE OUTLOOK, HOW MUDDLED THE TANGLE, HOW GREAT THE MISTAKE, A SUFFICIENT REALIZATION OF LOVE WILL DISSOLVE IT ALL.
IF ONLY YOU COULD LOVE ENOUGH YOU WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST AND MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE WORLD.
IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, YOU WILL LEARN SPECIFICALLY WHY SELF-DICIPLINE IS SO IMPORTANT WHEN RAISING HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND SELF-CONFIDENT CHILDREN.
ACTION EXERCISES :
1. WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SINGLE ACTION YOU COULD TAKE, RIGHT NOW, TO INCREASE THE LOVE AND HARMONY IN YOUR MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?
2. WHAT DISCIPLINES OR PRACTICES COULD YOU DEVELOP THAT WOULD IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF YOUR MARRIAGE FOR THE OTHER PERSON?
3. IDENTIFY ONE BEHAVIOR YOU COULD ENGAGE IN THAT WOULD IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATIONS IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
4. SIT DOWN WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND ASK HIM/HER FOR IDEAS FOR THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD DO MORE OF , LESS OF, START, OR STOP DOING.
5. IDENTIFY THE TWO QUALITIES THAT YOU MOST ADMIRE IN YOUR PARTNER.
6. IDENTIFY THE AREAS IN WHICH YOU AND YOUR PARTNER ARE THE MOST COMPATIBLE.
7. IDENTIFY THE MOST IMPORTANT VALUES THAT YOU AND YOUR PARTNER SHARE.
