THE SECRET

                    YOU ARE MEAN TO HAVE AN AMAZING LIFE

 

               YOU ARE MEANT TO HAVE EVERYTHING YOU LOVE AND DESIRE. YOUR WORK IS   MEANT TO BE EXCITING, AND YOU ARE MEANT TO ACCOMPLISH ALL THE THINGS YOU   WOULD LOVE TO ACCOMPLISH, YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR FAMILY AND   FRIENDS ARE MEANT TO BE FILLED WITH HAPPINESS. YOU ARE MEANT TO HAVE ALLTHE MONEY YOU NEED TO LIVE A FULL, WONDERFUL LIFE. YOU ARE MEANT TO BE LIVING YOUR DREAM- ALL OF THEM! IF YOU WANT TO TRAVEL, YOUR ARE MEANT TO TRAVEL. IF YOU WOULD LOVE TO START A BUSINESS, YOU ARE MEANT TO START A BUSINESS, IF YOU WOULD LOVE OR LEARN TO DANCE OR LEARN HOW TO SAIL A YACHT OR STUDY ITALIAN, YOU ARE MEANT TO DO THOSE THINGS, IF YOU INVENTOR, A PERFORMER, A PARENT, OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU WOULD LOVE TO BE, YOU ARE MENT TO BE IT!

             WHEN YOU WAKE UP EACH DAY, YOU SHOULD BE FILLED WITH EXCITEMENT BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE DAY IS GOING TO BE FULL OF GREAT THINGS. YOU ARE MEANT TO FEEL STRONG AND SAFE. YOU ARE MEANT TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF AND KNOW YOU'RE INVALUABLE. OF COURSE THERE ,WILL BE CHALLENGES IN YOUR LIFE, AND YOU ARE MEANT TO HAVE THEM TOO, BECAUSE THEY HELP YOU TO GROW, BUT YOU ARE MEANT TO KNOW HOW TO OVERCOME PROBLEMS AND CHALLENGES. YOU ARE MEANT TO BE VICTORIOUS! YOU ARE MEANT TO HAPPY! YOU ARE MEANT TO HAVE AN AMAZING LIFE!

              THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS, EVERYTHING YOU WOULD LOVE TO BE, DO, OR HAVE, HAS ALWAYS BEEN CLOSER TO YOU THAN YOU KNEW, BECAUSE THE POWER TO EVERYTHING YOU WANT IS INSIDE YOU!

                " THERE IS A SUPREME POWER AND RULLING FORCE WHICH

                   PERVADES AND RULES THE BOUNDLESS UNIVERSE. YOU

                   ARE A PART OF THIS POWER". 

PREPARE YOURSELF MENTALLY

                                                    MENTAL PREPARE

               BY NOW YOU WILL KNOW HOW IMPORTANT WE THINK YOUR SELF-TALK IS, IN ALL YOUR FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOUR, INCLUDING ASSERTION. A CONFROTATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE CAN BLOW UP QUICKLY, EVEN IF YOU KNEW IT WAS COMING, WHICH IS NOT ALWAYS POSSIBLE. YOU WILL FEEL MORE CONFIDENT AND ASSERT YOURSELF MORE EFFECTIVELY, IF APPROPRIATE SELF-TALK HAS BECOME SOMETHING OF A HABIT FOR YOU. IT IS A BIT DIFFICULT TO BLOW A WHISTLE IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONFRONTATION AND ANNOUNCE YOU ARE TAKING A 10- MINUTE THINK BEFORE. 

               SOMETIMES YOU MAY BE ABLE TO DO THIS. IN OUR ADVISE TO COUPLE, WE SUGGEST DELIBERATELY USING TIME OUT FROM AN ESCALATING DISCUSSION TO GIVE THEM TIME TO COOL DOWN AND WORK OUT A CONSTRUCTIVE APPROACH TO THE ISSUE. YOU MAT BE ABLE TO GET AGREEMENT TO TAKE TIME OUT FROM SOMEONE WHO VALUES YOUR RELATIONSHIP, BUT NOT EVERYONE YOU CONFRONT WILL FEEL LIKE THAT AND BE WILLING TO WAIT WHILE YOU THINK THINGS THROUGH.

                LATER, WE WILL SUGGEST SOME BRIEF SELF-TALK YOU CAN USE TO HELP YOU STAY ASSERTIVE DURING A CONFRONTATION, BUT RIGHT NOW WE ARE SUGGESTING YOU DO SOME MORE EXTENSIVE REVIEWING OF YOUR SEL-TALK REGARDING ASSERTION, AGRESSIVE AND SUBMISSION. THIS IS INTENDED TO HELP YOU DEVELOP ASSERTIVE HABITS OF MIND.

             

RATIONAL IDEAS

                                                    TEN RATIONAL IDEAS💗

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                1. I WANT TO BE LOVED OR LIKED AND APPROVED OF BY SOME OF THE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. I WILL FEEL DISOPPOINTED OR LONELY WHEN THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN, BUT I CAN COPE WITH THOSE FEELINGS, AND I CAN TAKE CONSTRUCTIVE STEPS TO MAKE AND KEEP BETTER RELATIONSHIPS.

                  2. I WANT TO DO SOME THINGS WELL, MOST OF THE TIME LIKE EVERYBODY, I WILL OCCASIONALLY FAIL OR MAKE A MISTAKE. THEN I WILL FEEL BAD, BUT I CAN COPE WITH THAT, AND I CAN TAKE CONSTUCTIVE STEPS TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.

                  3. IT IS SAD THAT MOST OF US DO SOME BAD THINGS FROM TIME TO TIME, AND SOME PEOPLE DO A LOT OF BAD THINGS. BUT MAKING MYSELF VERY UPSET WONT CHANGE THAT.

                  4. IT IS DISSAPPOINTING WHEN THINGS AREN'T HOW I WOULD LIKE THEM TO BE, BUT I CAN COPE WITH THAT. USUALLY I CAN TAKE CONSTRUCTIVE STEPS TO MAKE THINGS MORE AS I WOULD LIKE THEM TO BE, BUT IF I CAN'T IT HELP NE TO EXAGGERATE MY DISSAPPOINTMENT.

                   5. MY PROBLEM'S MAY BE INFLUENCED BY FACTORS OUTSIDE MY CONTROL, BUT MY THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS ALSO INFLENCE MY PROBLEMS THEY ARE UNDER MY CONTROL

                  6. WORRYING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT MIGHT TO WRONG WON'T STOP IT FROM HAPPENING, IT JUST MAKES ME UNHAPPY NOW ! I CAN TAKE CONSTRUCTIVE STEPS TO PREPARE FOR POSSIBLE PROBLEMS, AND THAT'S AS MUCH AS ANYONE CAN DO. SO I WON'T DWELL ON THE FUTURE NOW.

                 7. FACING DIFFICULT SITUATION WILL MAKE ME FEEL BAD AT THE TIME, BUT I CAN COPE WITH THAT. PUTTING OFF PROBLEMS DOES'T MAKE THEM ANY EASIER, IT JUST GIVES ME LONGER TO WORRY ABOUT THEM.

                 8. IT'S GOOD TO GET SUPPORT FROM OTHERS WHEN I WANT IT, BUT THE ONLY PERSON I REALLY NEED TO RELY ON IS MYSELF.

                 9. MY PROBLEMS MAY HAVE STARTED IN SOME PAST EVENTS, BUT WHAT KEEPS IT THEM GOING NOW ARE MY THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS, AND THEY ARE UNDER MY CONTROL.

                 10. IT IS SAD TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE IN TROUBLE, BUT I DONT'T HELP THEM BY

MAKING MYSELF MISERABLE, I CAN COPE WITH FEELING SAD, AND SOMETIMES I CAN TAKE CONSTRUCTIVE STEPS TO HELP THEM.

TALK YOURSELF

                                             TALK ABOUT YOURSELF

                  THIS MIGHT SOUND AS IF WE ARE SUGGESTING YOU BECOME A BORE, BUT WE ARE NOT. WE DONT INTEND THAT YOU SHOULD TRY TO DOMINATE EVERY SOCIAL CONVERSATION WITH A LENGTHLY ACCOUNT OF YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS, POSSESIONS AND QUALITIES. THAT KIND TO TALK ABOUT YOURSELF YOU WILL RECOGNISE AS ONE OF THE COMMON OFF-PUTTING BEHAVIOURS. WHAT WE ARE RECOMMENDING YOU TRY IS SELF-DISCLOSURE. THIS MEANS TELLING YOUR POTENTIAL FRIEND SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF THAT YOU WOULD NOT NORMALLY SHARE WITH JUST ANYONE. YOU MAY TALK ABOUT SOME PROBLEM OR DIFFICULTY IN YOUR LIFE AND YOUR FEELINGS ASSOCIATE WITH THAT. BUT SELF-DISCLOSURE DOES NOT HAVE TO BE ONLY ABOUT BAD THINGS, YOU MIGHT SHARE SOME PRIVATE, GOOD FEELINGS, AS WELL.

 

                     THE KEY IS THE INTIMATE NATURE OF THE INFORMATION THAT YOU SHARE. YOU ARE TELLING YOUR POTENTIAL FRIEND THAT YOU SEE HIM AS SOMEONE SPECIAL COMPARED TO THE GENERAL POPULATION, BECAUSE YOU ARE TRUSTING HIM WITH THIS INFORMATION THAT YOU WOULD NOT SHARE WITH CASUAL ACQUAINTANCES.  BUT GO SLOWLY.

DR. ARNOLD LAZARUS, AN AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGIST, HAS SAID PEOPLE ARE LIKE ONIONS, MADE UP OF LAYER UPON LAYER..

PEEL YOUR ONION SLOWLY, IN DEVELOPING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, JUMPING TOO FAST DOWN THE LAYERS IS ANOTHER OFF-PUTTNG BEHAVIOUR, BECAUSE THE OTHER PERSON WON'T BE ,READY TO MATCH YOU YET, SHE MAY SEE YOU AS COMING ON TOO STRONG AND BACK OFF AS A RESULT.

BEWARE OF MIND READING

 PEOPLE ARE FOREVER GUESSING HOW OTHER  PEOPLE THINK AND FEEL. IT'S NOT JUST WE PSYCHOLOGISTS WHO READ MIND, ITS EVERBODY, MIND-READING DOES SEEM TO BE A INIVERSAL BEHAVIOUR AND, IN THAT SENSE, UNAVOIDABLE. THE TRICK IS NOT TO RELY ON IT TOO MUCH. IN LIVING AND LOVING TOGETHER WE SPEND SOME TIME OUTLINING HOW DESTRUCTIVE MIND - READING CAN BE ESPECIALLY IN THE ABSENSE OF CLEAR COMMUNICATION. WHAT RESEARCH HAS FOUND IS THAT THE MORE STRAIN THERE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP, THE MORE UNREALISTICALLY NEGATIVE THE PARTNERS MIND-READING BECOMES. EACH WILL ASSUME THE OTHER FEELS AND INTENDS WORSE THAN IS REALLY TRUE.

ASK YOURSELF

                                                          ASK YOURSELF

     * AM I CONFIDENT ABOUT YOURSELF?

     * DO I COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY WITH PEOPLE?

     * DO I STAY CALM, EVEN IN STRESSFUL SITUATIONS?

     * DO I REMAIN ALERT TO OPPORUNITIES AND DEVELOPMENTS AROUND ME?

     * DO I TRY TO FORGET OLD ATTITUDES AND APPROACHES?

     * DO I MAKE THE BEST OF BAD SITUATION?

     * DO I LISTEN TO MY INTUITION?

     * DO I TRY TO STRENGTHEN MY INTUITIVE ABILITIES?

     * DO I GROW AND STRENGHTEN MY NETWORK OF FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES?

     * DO I MAKE AN EFFORT TO BE NICE TO OTHERS?

     * AM I GENEROUS TO OTHERS?

     *AM I WILLING TO TAKE CALCULATED RISKS?

     * DO I CUT LOSSES AND QUIT WHEN NEEDED?

     * DO I LEARN FROM MYSELF?

     * DO I STAY INFORMED?

     * DO I PICK UP IDEAS AND ABSORB THEM FOR FUTURE USE?

     * DO I HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE TO LIFE?

     * DO I PERSEVERE IN THE FACE OF FAILURE?

     * DO I AVOID GETTING AFFECTED WHEN OTHERS CRITICIZE ME?

     * DO I SEEK OPPORTUNITIES TO GET PAID FOR MY PASSION?

     * DO I PREPARE FOR SITUATION IN ADVANCE?

     * DO I USUALLY ORGANIZE, PLAN AND PRIORIZE?

     * DO I LEVERAGE MY STRENGTHS AND POTENCIAL?

     * AM I OPEN AND WILLING TO TRY NEW THINGS?

                      IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO MOST OF THESE QUESTIONS, THE CHANCES ARE THAT YOU HAVE A HIGH LQ. IN EFFECT, ANYONE CAN BE LUCKY. THE AMERICAN POLITICIAN WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN SAID, DESTINY OS NOT A MATTER OF CHANCE, IT IS A THING TO BE ACHIEVED. IN SIMILAR VEIN, SHAKESPEARE SAID, MEN ARE AT SOME TIME MASTERS OF THEIR FATES. THE FAULT, DEAR BRUTUS, IS NOT IN OUR STARS, BUT IN OURSELVES....

INFORMATION

                                                            INFORMATION

                        THE POWER OF INFORMATION IS OFTEN UNDERVALUED. SIMPLY STAYING INFORMED INCREASES THE CHANGES OF OPPORTUNITIES COMING TO OUR ATTENTION. THE VALUE OF INFORMATION IS BEST ILLUSTRATED BY A STORY FROM DHIRUBHAI AMBANI'S  LIFE.

                        IT IS WELL- KNOWN THAT DHIRUBHAI GATHERED INFORMATION FROM  ANY AND EVERY SOURCE- INFORMATION ABOUT GOVERNMENTS, POLICIES, PRODUCT, COMPETITORS, EMPOYEES, POLITICS AND LOT MORE.

                     A CANDIDATE ATTENDED A PERSONAL INTERVIEW WITH DHIRUBHAI FOR A SENIOR POSITION IN RELIANCE, BUT HE HAD OTHER OFFERS TOO. RELIANCE WAS NOT HIS FIRST CHOICE. AT THE INTERVIEW, DHRUBHAI CASUALLY ASKED, HOW IS YOUR FATHERS HEALTH?

                     APPARENTLY, THE YOUNG MAN'S FATHER A SENIOR PROFESSOR AND RESEARCH SCHOLAR, HAD UNDERGONE A BYPASS SURGERY FOLLOWING A HEART ATTACK A FEW DAYS AGO.

                      DHIRUBHAI'S INFORMATION NETWORK AND ALREADY BRIEFED HIM OF THE DEVELOPERS, MUCH TO THE CANDIDATE'S SURPRISE. NEED I SAY THAT THE CANDIDATE TOOK THE RELIANCE OFFER? INFORMATION HAD MET OPPORTUNITY.

                    CONSIDER YET ANOTHER MUCH OLDER EXAMPLE FROM INDIA'S BUSINESS HISTORY.

                IN 1861, THE US CIVIL WAR BROKE OUT. UNTIL THEN THE COTTON MILLS OF ENGLAND SOURCED ONLY TWENTY PERCENT OF THEIR RAW MATERIAL REQUIREMENT FROM INDIA, WITH THEIR MAJOR SUPPLY COMING FROM AMERICA. AS A RESULT OF THE WAR, THE DEMAND FOR INDIA COTTON SHOT THROUGH THE ROOF. THE GREATEST COTTON SPECULATOR OF THE TIMES WAS PREMCHAND ROYCHAND. DURING THAT AGE WHEN NO TELEGRAGH LINE EXISTED BETWEEN INDIA AND EUROPE, THE IMPERFECT FLOW CREATED A TERRIFIC OPPORTUNITY MIND YOU, THE OPPORTUNITY WAS AVAILABLE TO ALL, BUT IT WAS ONLY ROYCHAND WHO WAS ABLE TO EXPLOIT IT SO VERY EFFECTIVELY.

             IN THOSE DAYS, LOCAL COTTON PRICE IN MUMBAI WOULD CHANGE TO REFLECT INTERNATIONAL PRICES ONLY AFTER ENGLISH SHIPS DOCKED AND SAILORS CAME ASHORE WITH THE LATEST PRICE INFORMATION.

              ROYCHAND WOULD SEND HIS AGENTS OUT ON BOATS TO MEET THE ENGLISH SHIPS COMING TO MUMBAI, THEIR PRIMARY TASK? TO LEARN AND CONVEY TO HIM THE LATEST LONDON COTTON PRICES BEFORE THE SHIPS DOCKED AT PORT. 

             ROYCHAND'S ADVANCE TEAM GAVE HIM A HEAD START OVER ALL THE OTHER COTTON TRADERS, ROYCHAND WOULD TAKE MASSIVE POSITIONS IN THE MARKET BEFORE ANYONE ELSE KNEW WHERE PRICES WERE HEADED. OBVIOULY, ROYCHAND REAPED ENORMOUS PROFITS FROM THE COTTON BOOM.

EXERCISE

                                           YOUR EXERCISE PROGRAMME

           

                     

THE MAIN AIM OF YOUR FIRST EIGHT WEEKS IS TO BUILD UP MUSCLES TISSUE. THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN'T DONE MUCH EXERCISE FOR A WHILE, SINCE YOUR MUSCLES AND THE BLOOD VESSELS SUPPLYING THEM, WILL LITERALLY HAVE SHRUNK. THEY CANNOT DO MUCH WORK, AS YOU MAY HAVE SOMETIMES NOTICED.NOW YOU ARE GOING TO REBUILD YOUR MUSCLES, AND THEIR BLOOD SUPPLY SO THAT THEY ARE READY FOR THE LATER STAGE OF THE PROGRAMME. EACH 10- MINITES WORKOUT IS DIVEDED INTO YOUR BODY GET BOOST

1. HIGH REACHES

REACH AS HIGH AS YOU CAN WITH ONE HAND, DIRECTLY OVER YOUR HEAD. LET YOUR ARM DROP, AND REACH UP WITH THE OTHER HAND.

2. BODY TWISTS

EXTEND YOUR ARMS OUT SIDEWAYS, AND THEN TWIST YOUR TRUNK AS FAR AROUND AS IT WILL GO, THEN TWIST BACK THE OTHER WAY

3. PULL DOWNS

BEND OVER, GRASP YOUR LEGS BEHIND THE KNEES, AND PULL YOUR SHOULDERS GENTLY TOWARDS YOUR KNEES, DONT FORCE YOURSELF

4. HEAD TURNS

TURN YOUR HEAD TO THE LEFT, OVER YOUR SHOULDERS, AND PUT YOUR LEFT HAND ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF YOUR CHIN, AND YOUR RIGHT HAND ON THE BACK OR YOUR HEAD. GENTLY TURN YOUR HEAD A LITTLE FURTHER THAN IT WILL GO BY ITSELF. NOW THE OTHER WAY.