STAY WITH POSITIVE FRIENDS

                                         EVALUATE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS

        IT'S CRUCIAL THAT YOU EVALUATE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS FROM TIME TO TIME-EVEN THOSE YOU'VE MAINTAINED FOR MANY YEARS. TRUST ME, THIS ISN'T A MINOR ISSUE. THOSE WHO OCCUPY YOUR TIME HAVE A SIGNIFICANT IMPACT ON YOUR MOST PRICELESS POSSESSION-YOUR MIND!

      ARE YOU SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH NEGATIVE FRIENDS AND SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH THEM IN YOUR LEISURE HOURS? IF SO, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU TO THINK ABOUT SPENDING MUCH LESS TIME WITH THESE PEOPLE-OR EVEN NO TIME AT ALL WITH THEM.

      SOUNDS HARSH, DOESN'T IT? I'M SUGGESTING THAT YOU LIMIT - OR ELIMINATE- YOUR INVOLVEMENT WITH SOME LONG-STANDING FRIENDS. WHEN I TELL PEOPLE  THIS AT MY SEMINARS, INVARIABLY SOMEONE WILL RAISE A HAND AND ACCURE ME OF BEING COLD OR UNCARING. THE AUDIENCE MEMBER WILL TYPICALLY SAY, SHOULDN'T WE TRY TO HELP OUR NEGATIVE FRIENDS INSTEAD OF DUMPTING THEM?

      WELL, YOU'RE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU THINK IS BEST, AND EACH SITUATION MUST BE DEAL WITH ON ITS OWN UNIQUE FACTS, HOWEVER, I'VE FOUND THAT IN MOST CASES, HANGING AROUND THESE NEGATIVE FRIENDS, DOESN'T HELP THEM- AND IT DOESN' HELP YOU, EITHER! EVERYONE GETS DRAGGED DOWN BECAUSE MOST NEGATIVE PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO CHANGE. THEY JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO THEIR TALES OF WOE.

         IF YOU HAVE A STRONG URGUE TO SPEND TIME WITH NEGATIVE FRIENDS, ASK YOURSELF; WHY AM I CHOOSING TO BE WITH THESE PEOPLE? CONSCIOUSLY OR UNCONSCIOUSLY, YOU MAY BE CHOOSING TO HOLD YOURSELF BACK-TO BE LESS THAN YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BECOMING.

           BY THE WAY, I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL TO TRY TO HEPL SOMEONE OVERCOME THEIR NEGATIVITY. BUT IF YOU'VE BEEN TRYING FOR SEVERAL YEARS... AND AREN'T GETTING ANYWHERE... MAYBE IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON!

       LET ME CLARIFY ONE IMPORTANT POINT. I'M NOT MAKING A JUDGMENT HERE THAT NEGATIVE PEOPLE ARE ANY LESS WORTHY THAN OTHER PEOPLE. I'M SAYING THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES IF YOU SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE NEGATIVE. WHAT ARETHE CONSEQUENCES? YOU'LL BE LESS HAPPY AND LESS SUCCESSFUL THAN YOU COULD BE. 

   

THE AMAZING STORY

                                                          THE STORY OF OUR LIFE

     THE REAL STORY IS THAT YOU ARE AN UNLIMITED BEING. THE REAL STORY IS THAT THE WORLD AND THE UNIVERSE ARE UNLIMITED. THERE ARE WORDS AND POSSIBILITIES THAT YOU CANNOT SEE, BUT ALL OF THEM EXIST. YOU HAVE TO START TELLING A DIFFERENT STORY! YOU HAVE TO START TELLING THE STORY OF YOUR AMAZING LIFE, BECAUSE WHATEVER STORY YOU TELL, GOOD OR BAD, THE LAW OF ATTRACTION MUST MAKE SURE YOU RECEIVE IT, AND IT WILL BE THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE.

     IMAGINE AND FEEL WHATEVER YOU WANT AND THOSE WILL BE THE PICTURE YOU RECEIVE BACK IN YOUR LIFE. GIVE LOVE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AND FEEL AS GOOD AS YOU CAN, AND THE FORCE OF LOVE WILL SURROUND YOU WITH PEOPLE, CIRCUMSTANCES, AND EVENTS THAT YOU LOVE. YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT.

     WHAT DO YOU LOVE? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

    LET GO OF ANYTHING YOU DON'T LOVE ABOUT YOUR LIFE STORY AND JUST KEEP THE THINGS YOU LOVE. IF YOU HOLD ON TO NEGATIVE THINGS FROM YOUR PAST, THEN YOU KEEP PUTTING THEM INTO YOUR STORY EVERY TIME YOU REMEMBER THEM, AND THEY GO BACK INTO THE PICTURES OF YOUR LIFE-NOW!

     LET GO OF THE THINGS YOU DON'T LOVE ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD, AND KEEP THE THINGS YOU LOVE. LET GO OF THE THINGS YOU DON'T LOVE ABOUT YOUR ADOESCENT AND ADULT YEARS, AND KEEP THE GOOD THINGS. JUST KEEP THE THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE. ALL THE NEGATIVE THINGS OF THE PAST ARE DONE, FINISHED; YOU ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON AS YOU WERE THEN, SO WHY KEEP PUTTING THEM IN YOUR STORY IF THEY MEKE YOU FEEL BAD? YOU DON'T HAVE TO DIG NEGATIVE THINGS OUT OF YOU FROM THE PAST. JUST DON'T PUT THEM IN YOUR STORY ANYMORE.

SUCCESS DEFINITION

                                                   DEFINING SUCCESS

     WHAT'S THE KEY TO SUCCESS? WHY DO SOME PEOPLE SUCCEED WHILE OTHER FAIL?

        EARL NEGHTINGALE, THE GREAT SUCCESS WRITER, BROADCASTER SPEAKER, ADDRESSED THIS ISSUE IN HIS FAMOUS RECORDED MESSAGE ENTILED "THE STRANGEST SECRET" IN THIS PROGRAM, HE IDENDIFIED THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN JUST SEX WORDS. OF COURSE, HE WENT ON TO EXPLAIN IT IN MORE DETAIL-BUT THE FOUNDATION OF HIS SUCCESS SECRET IS ONLY SIX WORDS.

        YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW THE SIX WOULDN'T YOU? WELL, BEFORE I TELL YOU THE KEY TO SUCCESS, YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT THE SAME SIX WORDS ARE ALSO THE KEY TO FAILURE!

       ARE YOU READY FOR THE KEY TO SUCCESS? HERE IT IS:

    WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK ABOUT.

ON A GUT LEVEL, DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO YOU?

     IN HIS RESEARCH ON THE SUBJECT, NIGHTINGALE FOUND THAT ALL OF THE GREAT WRITERS, PHILOSOPHERS AND RELIGIOUS LEADERS HAVE AGREED THAT OUR THOUGHTS DETERMINE OUR ACTION, HERE ARE THE OBSERVATIONS OF A FEW GREAT THINKERS ON THIS VERY POINT. 

     NAPOLEON HILL SAID, "WHAT THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, THE MIND CAN ACHIEVE"

     THE BIBLE CONTAINS NUMEROUS REFERENCES TO THINKING INCLUDING THESE

        ACCORDING TO YOUR FAITH BE IT UNTO YOU.

        AS A MAN THINKETH IN HIS HEART, SO IS HE.

        IF YOU CAN BELIEVE, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

        

    RALPH WALDO EMERSON PUT IT THIS WAY, " A MAN IS WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT ALL DAY LONG"

   ROBERT COLLIER OFFERED THIS INSIGHT: " THERE IS NOTHING ON EARTH YOU CANNOT HAVE-ONCE YOU HAVE MENTALLY ACCEPTED THE FACT THAT YOU CAN HAVE IT"

  AND FINALLY, THERE ARE THE WELL-KNOWN WORDS OF HENRY FORD, WHO SAID, "WHETHER YOU THINK YOU CAN-OR THINK YOU CAN'T YOU'RE RIGHT"

     

THE POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE RESPONSE

                                                POSITIVE RESPONSE

     THEN, THERE'S THE POSITIVE APPROACH. THESE ARE THE ENTHUSIASTIC PEOPLE WHO SAY:

  * TERRIFIC

  * FANTASTIC

  * GREAT

  * EXCELLENT

  * SUPER

  * I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD

  * IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER

    THOSE WHO USE POSITIVE WORDS LIKE THESE HAVEA BOUNCE IN THEIR STEP AND YOU FEEL A LITTLE BETER JUST BY BEING AROUNG THEM. BE HONEST. HOW DID YOU FEEL AS YOU READ THE POSITIVE LIST? I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M ENERGIZED AND EXICITED AS I REVIEW THAT LIST. THESE ARE THE PEOPLE I LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING TODAY. THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE MORE LIKELY TO GET MY BUSINESS.

     WHO NOT GO BACK AND RE-READ THE NEGATIVE LIST AND THE MEDIOCRE LIST. SAY THEM OUT LOUD. HOW DO THEY MAKE YOU FEEL? BUMMED OUT, FOR SURE!.

      YOU SEE, IF GIVEN THE CHOICE, I'D RATHER BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO ARE POSITIVE AND FULL OF LIFE.... AS OPPOSED TO THOSE WHO ARE NEGATIVE AND LISTLESS . IT'S LIKE THE OLD SAYING THAT EVERYBODY LIGHT UP A  WALK OUT! YOU WANT TO BE THE WHO LIGHTS UP A ROOM WHEN YOU WALK OUT! YOU WANT TO BE THE ONE WHO LIGHTS UP A ROOM WHEN YOU WALK IN!

      AS FOR ME, WHEN SOMEONE ASKES ME HOW ARE YOU? I USUALLY RESPOND WITH TERRIFIC! IT PROJECTS A POSITIVE ATTITUDE TO THE OTHER PERSON AND THE MORE I SAY IT, THE MORE I FEEL TERRIFIC!

                                                 NEGATIVE RESPONSES

        THE NETATIVE REPLIES TO HOW ARE YOU? PHRASES SUCH AS:

    * LOUSY

    * TERRIBLE

    * I'M TIRED

    * IT'S NOT MY DAY

    * THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY

    * A DAY OLDER AND A DOLLAR BROKER

    * DON'T ASK

   

      WHEN SOMEONE RESPONDS WITH "DON'T ASK", I KNOW IN FOR TROUBLE. THAT PERSON IS GOING TO UNLEASH A MULTITUDE OF COMPLAINTS AND MAKE ME SORRY FOR ASKING HOW ARE YOU? IN THE FIRST PLACE!

     AND I REALLY PITY THOSE WHO TAKE THE "THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY" APPROACH TO LIFE. THINK OF WHAT THEY'RE SAYING. "MONDAY, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, AND THURSDAY ARE BAD DAYS EVERY WEEK". FOR THESE PEOPLE, FOUR-FIFTHS OF THEIR WORK WEEK IS LOUSY! THE FIFTH DAY, FRIDAY, IS "BEARABLE" ONLY BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEY'LL HAVE THE NEXT TWO DAYS OFF! IS THIS A WAY TO LIVE YOUR LIFE? ARE YOU BEGINNING TO SEEN HOW THESE NEGATIVE PHRASES CAN POISON YOUR ATTITUDE.... AND TURN OFF OTHER PEOPLE?

STAGE POINTS

                                   SUMMARIZE YOUR POINTS

               EVEN IN A SHORT TALK OF THREE TO FIVE MINUTES, A SPEAKER IS VERY APT TO COVER SO MUCH GROUND THAT AT THE CLOSE THE LISTENERS ARE A LITTLE HAZY ABOUT ALL HIS MAIN POINTS. HOWEVER, FEW SPEAKERS REALIZE THAT. THEY ARE MISLED INTO ASSUMING THAT BECAUSE THESE POINTS ARE CRYSTAL CLEAR IN THEIR OWN MINDS, THEY MUST BE EQUALLY LUCID TO THEIR HEARERS. NOT AT ALL. THE SPEAKER HAS BEEN PONDERING OVER HIS IDEAS FOR SOME TIME. BUT HIS POINTS ARE ALL NEW TO THE AUDIENCE; THEY ARE FLUNG AT THE AUDIENCE LIKE A HANDFUL OF SHOT. SOME MAY STICK, BUT THE MOST ARE LIABLE TO ROLL OFF IN CONFUSION. THE HEARERES ARE LIABLE, LIKE LARGO TO, "REMEMBER A MASS OF THINGS BUT NOTHING DISTINCTLY"

             SOME ANONYMOUS IRISH POLITICIAN IS REPOTTED TO HAVE GIVEN THIS RECIPE FOR MAKING A SPEECH, "FIRST, TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE GOING TO TELL THEM, THEN TELL THEM, THEN TELL THEM THAT YOU HAVE TOLD THEM," NOT BA, YOU KNOW. IN FACT, TOLD THEM, " BRIEFLY, OF COURSE, SPEEDILY- A MERE OUTLINE, A SUMMARY.

           HERE IS A GOOD EXAMPLE. THE SPEAKER IS A STUDENT OF MR.BILLS'CLASS IN PUBLIC SPEAKING. HE IS ALSO A TRAFFIC MANAGE FOR RAILWAYS.

          INSHORT, GENTLEMEN, OUR OWN BACKDOOR YARD EXPERIENCE WITH THIS BLOCK DEVICE, EXPERIENCE IN ITS USE IN THE EAST, IN THE WEST, IN THE NORTH-THE SOUND OPERATING PRINCIPLES UNDERLYING ITS OPERATION, THE ACTUAL DEMONSTRATION IN THE MONEY SAVED IN ONE YEAR IN WRECK PREVENTION, MOVE ME MOST EARESTLY AND UNEQUIVOCALLY TO RECOMMEND ITS IMMEDIATE INSTALLATION ON OUR SOUTHERN BRANCH.

           YOU SEE WHAT HE HAS DONE? YOU CAN SEE IT AND FEEL IT WITHOUT HAVING HEARD THE REST OF THE TALK. HE HASSUMMED UP IN A FEW SENTENCES, IN SEXTY-TWO WORDS, PRACTICALLY ALL THE POINTS HE HAS MADE IN THE ENTIRE TALK.

           DON'T YOU FEEL THAT A SUMMARY LIKE THAT HELPS? IF SO, MAKE THAT TECHNIQUE YOUR OWN.

DON'T GIVE UP

                                                             CHEER UP

           ONE TIME A YOUNG MAN WHO ASPIRED TO STUDY LAW, WROTE TO LINCOLN FOR ADVICE, AND LINCOLN REPLIED; IF YOU ARE RESLUTELY DETERMINED TO MAKE A LAWYER OF YOURSELF, THE THING IS MORE THAN HALF DONE ALREADY... ALWAYS BEAR IN MIND THAT YOUR OWN RESOLUTION TO SUCCEED IS MORE IMPROTANT THAN ANY OTHER ONE THING.

                                                   THE ART OF SITTING DOWN

        ISN'T IT WELL FOR THE SPEAKER HIMSELF NOT TO SIT FACING THE AUDIENCE BEFORE HE BEGINS? ISN'T IT BETTER TO ARRIVE AS A FRESH EXHIBIT THAN AN OLD ONE?

      BUT, IS WE MUST SIT, LET US BE CAREFUL OF HOW WE SIT. YOU HAVE SEEN MEN LOOK ROUND TO FIND A CHAIR WITH MODIFIED MOVEMENTS OF A FOXHOUND LYING DOWN FOR THE CHAIR, THEY DOUBLE UP AN WHEN THEY DID LOCATE A CHAIR, THEY DOUBLED UP AND FLOPPED DOWN INTO IT WITH ALL THE SELF-CONTROL OF A SACK OF SAND.

      A MAN WHO KNOWS HOW TO SIT FEELS THE CHAIR STRIKE THE BACK OF HIS LEGS, AND WITH HIS BODY EASILY ERECT FROM HEAD TO HIPS, HE SINKS INTO IT WITH HIS BODY UNDER PERFECT CONTROL.

                                              WHAT IS MEANT BY PREPARATION

           DOES THE PREPARATION OF A SPEECH MEAN THE GETTING TOGETHER OF SOME FAULTLESS PHRASES WRITTEN DOWN OR MEMORIZED? NO, DOES IT MEAN THE ASSEMBLING OF A FEW CASUAL THOUGHTS THAT REALLY CONVEY VERY LITTLE TO YOU PERSONALLY? NOT AT ALL. IT MEANS THE ASSEMBLY OF YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR IDEAS, YOUR CONVICTIONS, YOUR URGES. AND YOU HAVE SUCH THOUGHTS, SUCH URGES. YOU HAVE THEM EVERY DAY OF YOUR WALKING LIFE. THEY EVEN SWARM THROUGH YOUR DREAMS. YOUR WHOLE EXISTENCE HAS BEEN FILLED WITH FEELINGS AND EXPERIENCES. THESE THINGS ARE LYING DEEP IN YOUR SUBCONCIOUS MIND AS THICK AS PEBBLES ON THE SEASHORE. PREPARATION MEANS THINKING, BROODING, RECALLING, SELECTING THE ONES THAT APPEAL TO YOU MOST, POLISHING THEM, WORKING SOUND LIKE SUCH A DIFFICULT PROGRAMME, DOES IT? IT ISN'T . IT JUST REQUIRES A LITTLE CONCENTRATION AND THINKING TO A PURPOSE. 

    

               

      

THE NECESSITY OF PERSISTENCE

                                                                  PERSISTENCE

       WHEN WE START TO LEARN ANY NEW THING, LIKE FRENCH, OF GOLF, OR PUBLIC SPEAKING, WE NEVER ADVANCES STEADILY. WE DO NOT IMPROVE GRADUALLY. WE DO IT BY SUDDEN JERKS, BY ABRUPT STARTS. THEN WE REMAIN STATIONARY A TIME, OR WE MAY EVEN SLIP BACK AND LOSE SOME OF THE GROUND WE HAVE PREVIOULSLY GAINED. THESE PERIODS OF STAGNATON, OR RETROGRESSION, ARE WELL KNOWN BY ALL PSYCHOLOGISTS; AND THEY HAVE BEEN NAMED, " PLATEAUS IN THE CURVE OF LEARNING". 

        STUDENTS OF PUBLIC SPEAKING WILL SOMETIMES BE STALLED FOR WEEKS ON ONE OF THESE PLATEAUS. WORKS AS HARD AS THEY MAY, THEY CANNOT GET OFF IT. THE WEAK ONES GIVE UP IN DESPAIR. THOSE WITH GRIT PERSIST, AND THEY FIND THAT SUDDENTLY, OVERNIGHT, WITHOUT THEIR KNOWING HOW OR WHY IT HAS HAPPENED, THEY HAVE MADE GREAT PROGRESS. THEY HAVE LIFTED FROM THE PLATEAU LIKE AN AIROPLANE. ABRUPTLY THEY ACQUIRED NATURALNESS AND FORCE AND CONFIDENCE IN THEIR SPEAKING.

         YOU MAY ALWAYS, AS WE HAVE NOTED ELSEWHERE IN THESE PAGES, EXPERIENCE SOME FLEETING FEAR, SOME SHOCK, SOME NERVOUS ANXIETY THE FIRST FEW MOMENTS YOU FACE AN AUDIENCE JOHN BRIGHT FELT IT TO THE END OF HIS BUSY CAREER, SO DID GLADSTONE; SO DID BISHOP WILBERFORCE; SO DID A  SCORE OF OTHER EMINENT SPEAKERS. EVEN THE GREATEST OF THE MUSICIANS HAVE FELT IT IN SPRITE OF THEIR INNUMERABLE PUBLIC APPEARANCE. PADEREWSKI ALWAYS FIDGETED NERVOUSLY WITH HIS CUFFS IMMEDIALTELY BEFORE HE SAT DOWN AT THE PIANO. NORDICA FELT HER HEART RACING. SO DID SEMBRICH. SO DID EMMA EAMES. BUT IT VANISHED QUICKLY, ALL OF THIS AUDIENCE FEAR, LIKE A MIST IN THE AUGUST SUNSHINE.

        THEIR EXPERIENCE WILL BE YOURS, IF YOU WILL BUT PERSEVERE, YOU WILL SOON ERADICATE EVERYTHING BUT THIS INITIAL FEAR, AND THAT WILL BE INITIAL FEAR, AND NOTHING MORE. AFTER THE FIRST FEW SENTENCES, YOU WILL HAVE CONTROL OF YOURSELF. YOU WILL BE SPEAKING WITH POSITIVE PLEASURE