YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

                                  MAN INCOMPLETE WITHOUT WOMAN

           WHEN ONE IS FULLY CONSCIOUS, WOULD ONE STILL HAVED A NEED FOR A RELATIONSHIP? WOULD A MAN STILL FEEL DOWN TO A WOMAN? WOULD A WOMAN STILL FEEL INCOMPLETE WITHOUT A MAN?

       ENLIGHTENED OR NOT, YOU ARE EITHER A MAN OR A WOMAN, SO ON THE LEVEL OF YOUR FORM IDENTITY YOU ARE NOT COMPLETE. YOU ARE ONE-HALF OF THE WHOLE. THIS INCOMPLETENESS IS FELT AS MALE-FEMALE ATTRACTION, THE PULL THE OPPOSITE ENERGY POLARITY, NO MATTER HOW CONSCIOUS YOU ARE. BUT IN THAT STATE OF INNER CONNECTEDNESS, YOU FEEL THIS PULL SOMEWHERE ON THE SURFACE OR PERIPHERY OF YOUR LIFE. ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU IN THAT STATE FEELS SOMEWHAT LIKE THAT. THE WHOLE WORLD SEEMS LIKE WAVES OR RIPPLES ON THE SURFACE OF A VAST AND DEEP OCEAN. YOU ARE THAT OCEAN AND, OF COURSE, YOU ARE ALSO A RIPPLE, BUT A RIPPLE THAT HAS REALIZED ITS TRUE IDENTITY AS THE OCEAN, AND COMPARED TO THAT VASTNESS AND DEPTH, THE WORLD OF WAVES AND RIPPLES IS NOT ALL THAT IMPORTANT.

          THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU DON'T RELATE DEEPLY TO OTHER PEOPLE OR TO YOUR PARTNER. INFACT, YOU CAN RELATE DEEPLY ONLY IF YOU ARE CONSCIOUS OF BEING. COMING FROM BEING, YOU ARE ABLE TO FOCUS BEYONG THE VEIL OF FORM. IN BEING, MALE AND FEMALE ARE ONE. YOUR FORM MAY CONTINUE TO HAVE CERTAIN NEEDS, BUT BEING HAS NONE. IT IS ALREADY COMPLETE AND WHOLE. IF THOSE NEEDS ARE MET, THAT IS BEATIFUL, BUT WHATEVER OR NOT THEY ARE MET MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO YOUR DEEP INNER STATE. SO IT IS PERFECTLY POSSIBLE FOR AN ENLIGHTENED PERSON, IF THE NEED FOR THE MALE OF FEMALE POLARITY FOR AN ENLIGHTENED PERSON, IF THE NEED FOR THE MALE OR FEMALE PALARITY IS NOT MET, TO FEEL A SENSE OF LACK OR INCOMPLETENESS ON THE OUTER LEVEL OF HIS OR HER BEING, YET AT THE SAME TIME BE TOTALLY COMPLETE, FULFILLED AND AT PEACE WITHIN.

                IN THE QUEST FOR ENLITHHTENMENT, IS BEING GAY A HELP OR A HINDRANCE, OR DOES IS NOT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE?

             AS YOU APPROACH ADULTHOOD, UNCERTAINLY ABOUT YOUR SEXUALITY FOLLOWED BY THE REALIZATION THAT YOU ARE "DIFFERENT" FROM OTHERS MAY FORCE YOU TO DISIDENTIFY FROM SOCIALLY CONDITIONED PATTERNS OF THOUGH AND BEHAVIOUR. THIS WILL AUTOMATICALLY RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS ABOVE THAT OF THE UNCONCIOUS MAJORITY, WHOSE MEMBERS UNQUESTIONINGLY TAKE ON BOARD ALL INHERITED PATTERNS. IN THAT RESPECT, BEING GAY CAN BE A HELP. BEING AN OUTSIDER TO SOME EXTENT, SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT "FIT IN" WITH OTHERS OR IS REJECTED BY THEM FOR WHATEVER REASON, MAKES LIFE DIFFICULT, BUT IT ALSO PLACES YOU AT AN ADVANTAGE AS FAR AS ENLIGHTENMENT IS CONNECTED. IT TAKES YOU OUT OF UNCOUSNESS ALMOST BY FORCE.

                 ON THE OTHER HAND, IF YOU THEN DEVELOP A SENSE O IDENTITY BASED ON YOUR GAYNESS, YOU HAVE ESCAPED ONE TRAP ONLY TO FALL INTO ANOTHER. YOU WILL PLAY ROLES AND GAMES DICTATED BY A MENTAL IMAGE YOU HAVE OF YOURSELF AS GAY. YOU WILL BECOME UNCONSCIOUS. YOU WILL BECOME UNREAL. UNDERNEATH YOUR EGO MASK YOU WILL HAVE BECOME A HINDRANCE.BUT YOU ALWAYS GET ANOTHER CHANCE, OF COURSE. ACUTE UNHAPPINESS CAN BE A GREAT AWAKENER.

           IS IT NOT TRUE THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF AND LOVE YOURSELF YOU CAN HAVE A FULFILLING RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER PERSON?

          IF YOU CANNOT BE AT EASE WITH YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE ALONE, YOU WILL SEEK A RELATIONSHIP TO COVER UP YOUR UNEASE. YOU CAN BE SURE THAT THE UNEASE WILL THEN REAPPEAR IN SOME OTHER FORM WIHTIN THE RELATIONSHIP,  AND YOU WILL PROBABLY HOLD YOUR PARTNER RESPONSIBLE FOR IT. 

         ALL YOU REALLY NEED TO DO IS ACCEPT THIS MOMENT FULLY. YOU ARE THEN AT EASE IN THE HERE AND NOW AND AT EASE WITH YOURSELF.

         BUT DO YOU NEED TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF AT ALL? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE YOURSELF? WHEN YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF, YOU HAVE SPLIT YOURSELF INTO TWO. "I" AND "MYSELF" SUBJECT AND OBJECT. THAT MIND-CREATED DUALITY IS THE ROOT CAUSE OF ALL UNNECCESSARY COMPLEXITY, OF ALL PROBLEMS AND CONFLICT IN YOUR LIFE. IN THE STATE OF ENLIGHTENMENT, YOU ARE YOURSELF-"YOU" AND "YOURSELF" MERGE INTO ONE. YOU DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF, YOU DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF, YOU ARE NOT PROUD OF YOURSELF, YOU DO NOT LOVE YOURSELF, YOU DO NOT HATE YOURSELF, AND SO ON. THE SPLIT CAUSED BY SELF-REFLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS IS HEALED, ITS CURSE REMOVED. THERE IS NO "SELF" THAT YOU NEED TO PROTECT, DEFEND, OR FEED ANYMORE. WHEN YOU ARE ENLIGHTENED, THERE IS ONE RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU NO LONGER HAVE, THE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF. ONCE YOU HAVE GIVEN THAT UP, ALL YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE LOVE RELATIONSHIPS.

 

THOUGHTS WE HAVE EVERYDAY

                                                      GOOD THOUGHTS.....

  

        RESTRAINT IN THE EYE IS GOOD, GOOD IS RESTRAINT IN THE EAR, IN THE NOSE RESTAINT IN GOOD, GOOD IS RESTRAINT IN THE TONGUE. IN THE BODY RESTRAINT IS GOOD, GOOD IS RESTRAINT IN SPEECH, IN THOUGHT RESTRAINT IS GOOD, GOOD IS RESTRAINT IN ALL THINGS. A BHIKSHU, RESTRAINED IN ALL THINGS, IS FREED FORM ALL PAIN.

        HE WHO CONTROLS HIS HAND, HE WHO CONTROLS HIS FEET, HE WHO CONTROLS HIS SPEECH, HE WHO IS WELL CONTROLLED, HE WHO DELIGHT INWARDLY, WHO IS COLLECTED, WHO IS SOLITARY AND CONTENT, HIM THEY CALL BHIKSHU . THE BHIKSHU WHO CONTROLS HIS MOUTH, WHO SPEAKS WISELY AND CALMLY, WHO TEACHES THE MEANING AND THE LAW, HIS WORD IS SWEET. HE WHO DWELLS IN THE LAW, DELIGHTS IN NEVER FALL AWAY FROM THE TRUE LAW, RECOLLECTS THE LAW, THAT BHIKSHU WILL NEVER FALL AWAY FROM THE TRUE LAW. LET HIM NOT DESPISE WHAT HE HAS RECEIVED, NOR EVER ENVY OTHERS A MEDICANT WHO ENVIES OTHERS DOES NOT OBTAIN PEACE OF MIND.

        A BHIKSHU WHO, THOUGHT HE RECEIVES LITTLE, DOES NOT DESPISE WHAT HE HAS RECEIVED EVEN THE GODS WILL PRAISE HIM, IFHIS LIFE IS PURE, AND IF HE IS NOT SLOTHFUL. HE WHO NEVER IDENTIFIED HIMSELF WITH NAME AND FORM, AND DOES NOT GRIEVE OVER WHAT IS NO MORE, HE INDEED IS CALLED A BHIKSHU. THE BHIKSHU WHO BEHAVES  WITH KINDNESS, WHO IS HAPPY IN THE DOCTRINE OF BUDDHA, WILL REACH THE QUIET PLACE(NIRVANA) HAPPINESS ARRISING FROM THE CESSATION OF NATURAL INCLINATIONS.

            O BHIKSHU, EMPTY THIS BOAT!IF EMPTIED, IT WILL GO QUICKLY, HAVING CUT OFF PASSION AND HATRED, THOU WILT GO TO NIRVANA. CUT OFF THE FIVE FETTERS, LEAVE THE FIVE, RISE ABOVE THE FIVE. A BHIKSHU, WHO HAS ESCAPTED FROM THE FIVE FETTERS, HE IS CALLED OGHATINNA-SAVED FROM THE FLOOD. MEDITATE, O BHIKSHU AND BE NOT HEEDLESS! DO NOT DIRECT THY THOUGHT TO WHAT GIVES PLEASURE, THAT THOU MAYEST NOT FOR THY HEEDLESSNESS HAVE TO SWALLOW THE IRON BALL IN HELL, AND THAT THOU MAYEST NOT CRY OUT WHEN  BURNING "THIS IS PAIN".

          WITHOUT WHO HAS ENTERED HIS EMPTY HOUSE, AND WHOSE MIND IS TRANSQUIL, FEEL A MORE THAN HUMAN DELIGHT WHEN HE SEES THE LAW CLEARLY. AS SOON AS HE HAS CONSIDERED THE ORIGIN AND DESTRUCTION OF THE ELEMENTS OF THE BODY, HE FINDS HAPPINESS AND JOY WHICH BELONG TO THOSE WHO KNOW THE IMMORTAL (NIRVANA). AND THIS IS THE BEGINNING HERE FOR A WISE BHIKSHU, WATCHFULLNESS OVER THE SENSES, CONTENTEDNESS, RESTRAINT UNDER THE LAW, KEEP NOBLE FRIENDS WHOSE LIFE IS PURE , AND WHO ARE NOT SLOTHFUL. LET HIM LIVE IN CHARITY, LET HIM BE PERFECT IN HIS DUTIES, THEN IN THE FULNESS OF DELIGHT HE WILL MAKE AN END OF SUFFERING.

               AS THE VASSIKA PLAND SHEDS ITS WITHERED FLOWERS, MEN SHOULD SHED PASSION THE HATRED, O YE BHIKSHUS!. THE BHIKSHU WHOSE BODY AND TONGUE AND MIND ARE QUIETED WHO IS COLLECTED, AND HAS REJECTED THE BAITS OF THE WORLD. HE IS CALLED QUIET. ROUSE THYSELF BY THYSELF, EXAMINE THYSELF BY THYSELF, THEREFORE CURB THYSELF AS THE MERCHANT CURBS A NOBLE HORSE.

              THE BHIKSHU FULL OF DELIGHT WHO IS HAPPY IN THE DOCTRINE OF BUDDHA WILL REACH THE QUIET PLACE(NIRVANA)  HAPPINESS CONSISTING IN ALL THE CESSATION OF NATURAL INCLINATIONS. HE WHO EVEN AS A YOUNG BHIKSHU, HIMSELF TO THE DOCTRINE OF BUDDHA, BRIGHTENS UP THIS WORLD, LIKE THE MOON WHEN FREE FROM CLOUDS.

                                                          HAPPINESS

             WE LIVE HAPPILY INDEED , NOT HATING THOSE WHO HATE US! AMONG MEN WHO HATE US WE DWELL FREE FROM HATRED!. WE LIVE HAPPILY INDEED, FREE FROM AILMENTS AMONG THE AILING! AMOUNT MEN WHO ARE AILING LET US DWELL FREE FROM AILMENTS! WE LIVE HAPPILY INDEED, FREE FROM GREED AMONG THE GREEDY! AMONG MEN WHO ARE GREEDY LET US DWELL FREE FROM GREED! WE LIVE HAPPILY  INDEED, THOUGH WE CALL NOTHING OUR OWN! WE SHALL BE LIKE THE BRIGHT GODS, FEEDING ON HAPPINESS! VICTORY BREEDS HATRED, FOR THE CONQUERED IS UNHAPPY. HE WHO HAS GIVEN UP BOTH VICTORY AND DEFEAT, HE, THE CONTENED IS HAPPY. THERE IS NO FIRE LIKE PASSION. THERE IS NO LOSING THROW LIKE HATRED, THERE IS NO PAIN LIKE THIS BODY, THERE IS NO HAPPINESS HIGHER THAN REST.

              HUNGER IS THE WORST OF DISEASE, THE ELEMENTS OF THE BODY THE GREATEST EVIL, IF ONE KNOWS THIS TRULY, THAT IS NIRVANA, THE HIGHEST HAPPINESS. HEALTH IS THE GREATEST OF GIFTS, CONTENTEDNESS THE BEST RICHES TRUST IS THE BEST OF RELATIONSHIPS, NIRVANA THE HIGHEST HAPPINESS.

           HE WHO HAS TASTED THE SWEETNESS OF SOLITUDE AND TRANQUILLITY, IS FREE FROM FEAR AND FREE FROM SIN, WHILE HE TASTES THE SWEETNESS OF DRINKING IN THE LAW. THE SIGHT OF THE ELECT (ARIYA) IS GOOD, TO LIVE WITH THEM IS ALWAYS HAPPINESS, IF A MAN DOES NOT SEE FOOLS, HE WILL BE TRULY HAPPY. HE WHO WALKS IN THE COMPANY OF FOOLS SUFFERS A LONG WAY., COMPANY WUTH FOOLS AS WITH AN ENEMY, IS ALWAYS PAIFUL, COMPANY WITH THE WISE IS PLEASURE, LIKE MEETING WITH KINSFOLK.

            THEREFORE, ONE OUGHT TO FOLLOW THE WISE, THE INTELLIGENT, THE LEARNED, THE MUCH ENDURING, THE DUTIFUL, THE ELECT, ONE OUGHT TO FOLLOW SUCH A GOOD AND WISE MAN, AS THE MOON FOLLOWS THE PATH OF THE STARS.

WHEN OUR SOUL MEET THE GOD

                                                      BODY SOUL TO GOD

              DHARANA IS HOLDING THE MIND ON TO SOME PARTICULAR OBJECT, DHARANA (CONCENTRATION) IS WHEN THE MIND HOLDS ON TO SOME OBJECT, EITHER IN THE BODY, OR OUTSIDE THE BODY, AND KEEP ITSELF IN THAT STATE. AN UNBROKEN FLOW OF KNOWLEDGE TO THAT OBJECT IS DHYANA. THE MIND TRIES TO THINK OF ONE OBJECT, TO HOLD ITSELF TO ONE PARTICULAR SPOT, AS THE TOP OF THE HEAD, TO HOLD ITSELF TO ONE PARTICULAR SPOT, AS THE TOP OF THE HEAD, THE HEART, ETC., AND IF THE MIND SUCCEEDS IN RECEIVING THE SENSATIONS ONLY THROUGH THAT PART OF THE BODY, THE THROUGH NO OTHER PART, THAT WOULD BE DHARANA, AND WHEN THE MIND SUCCEEDS IN KEEPING ITSELF IN THAT STATE FOR SOME TIME IT IS CALLED DHYANA(MEDITATION).

               WHEN THAT, GIVING UP ALL FORMS, REFLECT ONLY THE MEANING, IT IS SAMADHI.

             THAT IS, WHEN IN MEDITATION ALL FORMS ARE GIVEN UP, SOPPOSE I WERE MEDITATING ON A BOOK, AND THAT I HAVE GRADUALLY SUCCEEDED IN CONCENTRATING THE MIND ON IT, AND PERCEIVING ONLY THE INTERNAL SENSATIONS, THE MEANING, UNEXPRESSED IN ANY FORM, THAT STATE OF DHYANA IS CALLED SAMADHI.

           (THESE) THREE (WHEN PRACTISED) IN REGARD TO ONE OBJECT IS SAMYAMA.

            WHEN A MAN CAN DIRECT HIS MIND TO ANY PARTICULAR OBJECT AND FIX IT THERE, AND THEN KEEP IT THERE FOR A LONG TIME, SEPARATING THE OBJECT FROM THE INTERNAL PART, THIS IS SAMYAMA, OR DHARANA, DHYANA, AND SAMADHI, ONE FOLLOWING THE OTHER, AND MAKING ONE. THE FORM OF THE THING HAS VANISHED, AND ONLY ITS MEANING REMAINS IN THE MIND.

            BY THE CONQUEST OF THAT COMES LIGHT OF KNOWLEDGE.

         WHEN ONE HAS SUCCEEDED IN MAKING THIS SAMYAMA, ALL POWERS COME UNDER HIS CONTROL. THIS IS THE GREAT INSTRUMENT OF THE YOGI. THE OBJECT OF KNOWLEDGE IS INFINITE, AND THEY ARE DIVIDED INTO THE GROSS, GROSSER, GROSSEST, AND THE FINE, FINER, FINEST, AND SO ON. THIS SAMYAMA SHOULD BE FIRST APPLIED TO GROSS THINGS, WHEN YOU BEGIN TO GET KNOWLEDGE OF THE GROSS, SLOWLY, BY STAGES, IT SHOULD BE BROUGHT TO FINER THINGS.

         THAT SHOULD BE EMPLOYED IN STAGES. THIS IS A NOTE OF WARNING NOT TO ATTEMPT TO GO TOO FAST.

        THESE THREE ARE NEARER THAN THOSE THAT PRECEDE.

     BEFORE THESE WE, HAD THE PRANAYAMA, THE ASANA, THE YAMA AND NIYAMA, THESE ARE EXTERNAL PARTS OF THESE THREE DHARANA, DHYANA, AND SAMADHI. YET THESE LATTER EVEN ARE EXTERNAL TO THE SEEDLESS SAMADHI. WHEN A MAN HAS ATTAINED TO THEM HE MAY ATTAIN TO OMNISCIENCE AND OMNIPRESENCE, BUT THAT WOULD NOT BE SALVATION. THESE THREE WOULD NOT MAKE THE MIND NIRVIKALPA, CHANGELESS, BUT WOULD LEAVE THE SEEDS FOR GETTING BODIES AGAIN, ONLY WHEN THE SEEDS ARE, AS THE YOGI SAYS, FRIED, DO THEY LOSE THE POSSIBILITY OF PRODUCING FURTHER PLANTS. THESE POWERS CANNOT FRY THE SEED.

      BUT EVEN THEY ARE EXTERNAL TO THE SEEDLESS (SAMADHI)

    COMPARED WITH THAT SEEDLESS SAMADHI, THEREFORE, EVEN THESE ARE EXTERNAL. WE HAVE NOT YET REACHED THE REAL SAMADHI, THE HIGHEST, BUT TO A LOWER STAGE, IN WHICH THIS UNIVERSE STILL EXISTS AS WE SEE IT, AND IN WHICH ARE ALL THSE POWERS.

             BY THE SUPPRESSION OF THE DISTURBED MODIFICATIONS OF THE MIND, AND BY THE RISE OF MODIFICATIONS OF CONTROL, THE MIND IS SAID TO ATTAIN THE CONTROLLING MODIFICATIONS-FOLLOWING THE CONTROLLING POWERS OF THE MIND.

          THAT IS TO SAY, IN THIS FIRST STATE OF SAMADHI, THE MODIFICATIONS OF THE MIND HAVE BEEN CONTROLLED, BUT NOT PERFECTLY, BECAUSE IF THEY WERE, THERE WOULD BE NO MODIFICATIONS. IF THERE IS A MODIFICATION WHICH IMPELS THE MIND TO RUSH OUT THROUGH THE SENSES, AND THE YOGI TRIES TO CONTROL, IT THAT VERY CONTROL ITSELF WILL BE A MODIFICATION. ONE WAVE WILL BE CHECKED BY ANOTHER WAVE, SO IT WILL NOT BE REAL SAMADHI, WHEN ALL THE WAVES HAVE SUBSIDED, AS CONTROL ITSELF WILL BE A WAVE. YET THIS LOWER SAMADHI IS VERY MUCH NEARER TO THE HIGHER SAMADHI THAN WHEN THE MIND COMES BUBBLING OUT.

            ITS FLOW BECOMES STEADY BY HAPPIT.

     THE FLOW OF THIS CONTINUOUS CONTROL OF THE MIND BECOMES STEADY WHEN PRACTICED DAY AFTER DAY AND THE MIND OBTAINS THE FACULTY OF CONSTANT CONCENTRATION.

TAKING IN ALL SORTS OF OBJECTS AND CONCENTRATION UPON ONE OBJECT, THESE TWO POWERS BEING DESTROYED AND MANIFESTED RESPECTIVELY, THE CHITTA GETS THE MODIFICATION CALLED SAMADHI.

THE MIND IS TAKING UP VARIOUS OBJECTS, RUNNING INT ALL SORTS OF THINGS AND THEN THERE IS A HIGHER STATE OF THE MIND, WHEN IT TAKES UP ONE OBJECT AND EXCLUDES ALL OTHERS. SAMADHI IS THE RESULT OF THAT.

THE ONE-POINTEDNESS OF THE CHITTA IS WHEN IT GRASPS IN ONE, THE PAST AND PRESENT. 

HOW ARE WE TO KNOW THAT THE MIND HAS BECOME CONCENTRATED? BECAUSE TIME WILL VANISH. THE MORE TIME VANISHES, THE MORE CONCENTRATED WE ARE. IN COMMON LIFE WE SEE THAT WHEN WE ARE INTERESTED IN A BOOK WE DO NOT NOTE THE TIME AT ALL, AND WHEN A LEAVE THE BOOK WE ARE OFTEN SURPRISED TO FIND HOW MANY HAVE PASSED. ALL TIME WILL HAVE THE TENDENCY TO COME AND STAND IN THE ONE PRESENT. SO THE DEFINITION IS GIVEN, WHEN THE PAST AND PRESENT COME AND STAND IN ONE, THE MORE CONCENTRATED THE MIND.

EARNESTNESS AND THOUGHTLESSNESS

                                              NIRVANA AND THE DEATH

                  EARNESTNESS IS THE PATH OF IMMORTALITY(NIRVANA), THOUGHTLESSNESS THE PATH OF DEATH. THOSE WHO ARE IN EARNEST DO NOT DIE, THOSE WHO ARE THOUGHTLESSNESS ARE AS IF DEAD ALREADY. HAVING UNDERSTOOD THIS CLEARLY, THOSE WHO ARE ADVANCED IN EARNESTNESS DELIGHT IN EARNESTNESS, AND REJOICE IN THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE ELECT. THESE WISE PEOPLE, MEDITATIVE, STEADY, ALWAYS POSSESSED OF STRONG POWERS, ATTAIN TO NIRVANA, THE HIGHEST HAPPINESS. IF AN EARNEST PERSON HAS ROUSED HIMSELF, IF HE IS NOT FORGETFUL, IF HIS DEEDS ARE PURE, IF HE ACTS WITH CONSIDERATION, IF HE IS RESTRAINS HIMSELF, AND LIVES ACCORDING TO LAW- THEN HIS GLORY WILL INCREASE. 

                 BY ROUSING HIMSELF, BY EARNESTNESS BY RESTRAINT AND CONTROL, THE WSE MAN MAY MAKE FOR HIMSELF, AN ISLAND WHICH NO FLOOD CAN OVERWHELM. FOOLS FOLLOW AFTER VANITY. THE WISE MAN KEEPS EARNESTNESS AS HIS BEST JEWEL. FOLLOW NOT AFTER VANITY, NOR AFTER THE ENJOYMENT OF LOVE AND LUST! HE WHO  IS EARNEST AND MEDITATIVE, OBTAINS AMPLE JOY. WHEN THE LEARNED MAN DRIVES AWAY VANITY BY EARNESTNESS, HE THE WISE, CLIMBING THE TERRACED HEIGHTS OF WISDOM, LOOKS DOWN UPON THE FOOLS, FREE FROM SORROW HE LOOKS UPON THE SORROWING CROWD, AS ONE THAT STANDS ON A MOUNTAIN LOOKS DOWN UPON THEM THAT STAND UPON THE PLAIN.
            EARNEST AMONG THE THOUGHLESS, AWAKE AMONG THE SLEEPERS, THE WISE MAN ADVANCES LIKE A RACER. LEAVING BEHIND THE HACK. BY EARNESTNESS DID MAGHAVAN (INDRA) RISE TO THE LORDSHIP OF THE GODS. PEOPLE PRAISE EARNESTNESS, THOUGHTLESSNESS IS ALWAYS BLAMED.

              A BHIKSHU(MENDICANT) WHO DELIGHTS IN EARNESTNESS, WHO LOOKS WITH FEAR ON THOUGHTLESSNESS, MOVES ABOUT LIKE FIRE, BURNING ALL HIS FETTERS, SMALL OR LARGE. A BHIKSHU(MENDICANT) WHO DELIGHTS IN REFLECTION, WHO LOOKS WITH FEAR ON THOUGHTLESSNESS, CANNOT FALL AWAY FROM HIS PERFECT STATE-HE IS CLOSE UPON NIRVANA.

                                                                      FLOWERS

                      WHO SHALL OVERCOME THIS EARTH, AND THE WORLD OF YAMA, THE LORD OF THE DEPARTED, AND THE WORLD OF THE GODS? WHO SHALL FIND OUT THE PLAINLY SHOWN PATH OF VIRTUE, AS A CLEVER MAN FINDS THE RIGHT FLOWER? THE DISCIPLINE WILL OVERCOME THE EARTH, AND THE WORLD OF YAMA, AND THE WORLD OF THE GODS. THE DISCIPLINE WILL FIND OUT THE PLAINLY SHOWN PATH OF VIRTUE, ASA CLEVER MAN FINDS THE RIGHT FLOWER. HE WHO KNOWS THAT THIS BODY IS LIKE FROTH, AND HAS LEARNT THAT IT IS AS UNSUBTANTIAL AS A MIRAGE, WILL BREAK THE FLOWER-POINTED ARROW OF MARA AND NEVER SEETHE KING OF DEATH.

                  DEATH CARRIES OFF A MAN WHO IS GATHERING FLOWER, AND WHOSE MIND IS DISTRACTED, AS A FLOOD CARRIES OFF A SLEEPING VILLAGE. DEATH SUBDUES A MAN WHO IS GETHERING FLOWERS, AND WHOSE MIND IS DISTRACTED, BEFORE HE IS SATIATED IN HIS PLEASURE. AS THE BEE COLLECTS NECTAR AND DEPARTS WITHOUT INJURING THE FLOWER, OR ITS COLOR OR SCENT, SO LET A SAGE DWELL IN HIS VILLAGE.

                 NOT THE PERVERSITIES OF OTHERS, NOT THEIR SINS OF COMMISSION OR OMISSION, BUT HIS OWN MISDEEDS AND NEGLIGENCES SHOULD A SAGE TAKE NOTICE OF.  LIKE A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER, FULL OF COLOR, BUT WITHOUT SCENT, ARE THE FINE BUT FRUITLESS WORDS OF HIM WHO DOES NOT ACT ACCORDINGLY. AS MANY KINDS OF WREATHS CAN BE MADE FROM A HEAP OF FLOWERS, SO MANY GOOD THINGS MAY BE ACHIEVED BY A MORTAL WHEN ONCE HE IS HORN. THE SCENT OF FLOWERS DOES NOT TRAVEL AGAINST THE WIND, NOR THAT OF SANDAL-WOOD, OR OF TAGARA AND MALLIKA FLOWERS, BUT THE ODOR OF GOOD PEOPLE TRAVELS EVEN AGAINST THE WIND, A GOOD MAN PERVADES EVERY PLACE. SANDAL-WOOD OR TAGARA, A LOTUS-FLOWER, OR A VASSIKI, AMONG THESE SORTS OF PERFUMES, THE PERFUME OF VIRTUE IS UNSURPASSED. 

                 

               MEAN IS THE SCENT THAT COMES FROM TAGARA AND SANDAL-WOOD THE PERFUME OF THOSE WHO POSSESS VIRTUE RISES UP TO THE GODS AS THE HIGHEST. OF THE PEOPLE WHO PASSES THESE VIRTUES, WHO LIVE WITHOUT THOUGHTLESSNESS, AND WHO ARE EMANCIPATED THROUGH TRUE KNOWLEDGE, MARA, THE TEMPTER, NEVER FINDS THE WAY. AS ON A HEAP OF RUBBISH CAST UPON THE HIGHWAY THE LILY WILL GROW FULL OF SWEET PERFUME AND DELIGHT, THUS AMONG THOSE WHO ARE MERE RUBBISH THE DISCIPLE OF THE TRULY ENLIGHTENED BUDDHA SHINES FORTH BY HIS KNOWLEDGE ABOVE THE BLINDED WORLDLING.

 

KNOW ABOUT MEDITATION

                                                       MEDITATION

        FROM EGOISM ALONE PROCEED THE CREATED MINDS.

              THE THEORY OF KARMA IS THAT WE SUFFER FOR OUR GOOD OR BAD DEEDS, AND THE WHOSE SCOPE OF PHILOSOPHY IS TO APPROACH THE GLORY OF MAN. ALL THE SCRIPTURES SING THE GLORY OF MAN, OF THE GLORY OF MAN. ALL THE SCRIPTURES SING THE GLORY OF MAN, OF THE SOUL, AND THEN, WITH THE SAME BREATH, THEY PEACH THIS KARMA. A GOOD DEED BRINGS SUCH A RESULT, AND A BLAD DEED SUCH A RESULT, BUT, IF THE SOUL CAN BE ACTED UPON BY A GOOD OR BAD DEED, IT AMOUNTS TO NOTHING, BAD DEEDS PUT A BART TO THE MANIFESTATION OF OUR NATURE,OF THE PURUSA, AND GOOD DEEDS TAKE THE OBSTACLES OFF, AND ITS GLORY BECOMES MANIFEST. BUT THE PURUSA ITSELF IS NEVER CHANGED. WHATEVER YOU DO NEVER DESTROYS YOUR OWN GLORY, YOUR OWN NATURE, BECAUSE THE SOUL CANNOT BE ACTED UPON BY ANYTHING, ONLY A VEIL IS SPREAD BEFORE IT, HIDING ITS PERFECTION.

              THOUGH THE ACTIVITIES OF THE DIFFERENT CREATED MINDS ARE VARIOUS, THE ONE ORIGINAL MIND IS THE CONTROLLER OF THEM ALL.

               THESE DIFFERENT MINDS, WHICH WILL ACT IN THESE DIFFERENT BODIES, ARE CALLED MADE-MINDS,  AND THE BODIES, MADE-BODIES, THAT IS, MANUFACTURED BODIES AND MINDS. MATTER AND MIND ARE LIKE TWO INEXHAUTIBLE STOREHOUSES. WHEN YOU HAVE BECOME A YOGI, YOU HAVE LEARNED THE SECRET OF THEIR CONTROL. IT WAS YOURS ALL THE TIME, BUT YOU HAD FORGOTTEN IT. WHEN YOU BECOME A YOGI, YOU RECOLLECT IT, THEN YOU CAN DO ANYTHING WITH IT, MANIPULATE IT ANY WAY YOU LIKE. THE MATERIAL OUT OF WHICH THAT MANUFACTURED MIND IS CREATED IS THE VERY SAME MATERIAL WHICH IS USED AS THE MACROCOSM. IT IS NOT THAT MIND IS ONE THING AND MATTER ANOTHER, BUT THEY ARE DIFFERENT EXISTENCE OF THE SAME THING. ASMITA, EGOISM, IS THE MATERIAL, THE FINE STATE OF EXISTENCE OUT OF WHICH THESE MADE-MINDS AND MADE BODIES OF THE YOGI WILL BE MANUFACTURED. THEREFORE, WHEN THE YOGI, HAS FOUND THE SECRET OF THESE ENERGIES OF NATURE HE CAN MANUFACTURE ANY NUMBER OF BODIES, OR MINDS, BUT THEY WILL ALL BE MANUFACTURES OUT OF THE SUBSTANCE KNOWN AS EGOISM.

               AMONG THE VARIOUS CHITTAS THAT WHICH IS ATTINED BY SAMADHI IS DESIRELESS.

               AMONG ALL THE VARIOUS MINDS THAT WE SEE IN VARIOUS MEN, ONLY THAT MIND WHICH HAS ATTAINED TO SAMADHI, PERFECT CONCENTRATION, IS THE HIGHEST. A MAN WHO HAS ATTAINED CERTAIN POWERS THROUGH MEDICINES, OR THROUGH WORDS, OR THROUGH MORTIFICATIONS, STILL HAS DESIRE, BUT THAT MAN WHO HAS ATTAINED TO SAMADHI THROUGH CONCENTRATION IS ALONE FREE FROM ALL DESIRES.

                   WORKS ARE NEITHER BLACK NOR WHITE FOR THE YOGIS FOR OTHERS THEY ARE THREEFOLD-BLACK, WHITE, AND MIXED.

               WHEN THE YOGI HAS ATTAINED TO THAT STATE OF PERFECTION, THE ACTIONS OF THAT MAN, AND THE KARMA PRODUCED BY THOSE ACTIONS, WILL NOT BLIND HIM, BECAUSE HE DID NOT DESIRE THEM. HE JUST WORKS ON, HE WORKS TO DO GOOD, AND HE DOES GOOD, BUT DOES NOT CARE FOR THE RESULT, AND IT WILL NOT COME TO HIM. BUT FOR ORDINARY MEN, WHO HAVE NOT ATTAINED TO THAT HIGHEST STATE, WORKS ARE OF THREE KINDS, BLACK (EVIL ACTIONS), WHITE (GOOD ACTIONS) AND MIXED.

                   

             FROM THESE THREEFOLD WORKS ARE MANIFESTED IN EACH STATE ONLY THOSE DESIRES (WHICH ARE) FITTING TO THAT STATE ALONE. (THE OTHERS ARE HELD IN ABEYANCE FOR THE TIME BEING)

             SUPPOSE I HAVE MADE THE THREE KINDS OF KARMA-GOOD, BAD, AND MIXED, AND SUPPOSE I DIE AND BECOME A GOD IN HEAVEN, THE DESIRES IN A GOD BODY ARE NOT THE SAME AS THE DESIRES IN A HUMAN BODY. THE GOD BODY NEITHER EATS NOR DRINKS, WHAT BECOMES OF MY PAST UNWORKED KARMAS, WHICH PRODUCE AS THEIR EFFECT THE DESIRE TO EAT AND DRINK? WHERE WOULD THESE KARMAS GO WHEN I BECAME A GOD? THE ANSWER IS THAT DESIRES CAN ONLY MANIFEST THEMSELVES IN PROPER ENVIRONMENTS. ONLY THOSE DESIRES WILL COME OUT FOR WHICH THE ENVIRONMENT IS FITTED, THE REST WILL COME OUT FOR WHICH THE ENVIRONMENT IS FITTED, THE REST WILL REMAINS STORED UP. IN THIS LIFE WE HAVE MANY GODLY DESIRES, MANY HUMAN DESIRES, MANY ANIMAL DESIRES. IF I TAKE A GOD BODY, ONLY THE GOD DESIRES WILL COME UP, BECAUSE FOR THEM THE ENVIRONMENTS ARE SUITABLE. AND IF I TAKE AN ANIMAL BODY, ONLY THE ANIMAL DESIRES WILL COME UP, AND THE GOD DESIRES WILL WAIT. WHAT DOES THE SHOW? THAT BY MEANS OF ENVIRONMENT, WE CAN CHECK THESE DESIRES. ONLY THAT KARMA WHICH IS SUITED TO AND FITTED FOR THE ENVIRONMENTS WILL COME OUT. THIS PROVES THAT THE POWER OF ENVIRONMENT IS A GREAT CHECK TO CONTROL EVEN KARMA ITSELF.

              

 

SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

                                                    RELATIONSHIPS

      AS THE EGOIC MODE OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND ALL THE SOCIAL, POLITICAL, AND ECONOMIC STRUCTURES THAT IT CREATED ENTER THE FINAL STAGE OF COLLAPSE, THE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN REFLECT THE DEEP STATE OF CRISIS IN WHICH HUMANITY NOW FINDS ITSELF. AS HUMAN HAVE BECOME INCRESINGLY IDENTIFIED WITH THEIR MIND, RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT ROOTED IN BEING AND SO TURN INTO A SOURCE OF PAIN AND BECOME DOMINATED BY PROBLEMS AND CONFLICT.

         MILLIONS ARE NOW LIVING ALONE OR AS SINGLE PARENTS, UNABLE TO ESTABLISH AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP OR UNWILLING TO REPEAT THE INSANE DRAMA OF PAST RELATIONSHIPS. OTHERS GO FROM ONE RELATIONSHIP TO ANOTHER, FROM ONE PLEASURE - AND - PAIN CYCLE TO ANOTHER, IN SEARCH OF THE EXCLUSIVE GOAL OF FULFILLMENT THRROUGH UNION WITH THE OPPOSITE ENERGY POLARITY. STILL OTHERS COMPROMISE AND CONTINUE TO BE TOGETHER IN A DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP IN WHICH NEGATIVITY PREVAILS, FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN OR SECURITY, THROUGH FORCE OF HABIT, FEAR OF BEING ALONE, OR SOME OTHER MUTUALLY "BENEFICIAL" ARRAGEMENT, OR EVEN THROUGH THE UNCONSCIOUS ADDICTION TO THE EXCITEMENT OF EMOTIONAL DRAMA AND PAIN.

               HOWEVER EVERY CRISTS REPRESENTS NOT ONLY DANGER BUT ALSO OPPORTUNITY. IF RELATIONSHIPS ENERGIZE AND MAGNIFY EGOIC MIND PATTERNS AND ACTIVITY THE PAIN-BODY, AS THEY DO AT THIS TIME, WHY NOT ACCEPT THIS FACT RATHER THAN TRY TO ESCAPE FROM IT? WHY NOT COOPERATE WITH IT INSTEAD OF AVOIDING RELATIONSHIPS OR CONTINUING TO PURSUE THE PHANTOM OF AN IDEAL PARTNER AS AN ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS OR A MEANS OF FEELING FULFILLED? THE OPPORTUNITY THAT IS CONCEALED WITHIN EVERY CRISIS DOES NOT MANIFEST UNTIL ALL THE FACTS OF ANY GIVEN SITUATION ARE ACKNOWLEDGED AND FULLY ACCEPTED. AS LONG AS YOU DENY THEM, AS LONG AS YOU TRY TO ESCAPE FROM THEM OR WISH THAT THINGS WERE DIFFERENT THE WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY DOES NOT OPEN UP, AND YOU REMAIN TRAPPED INSIDE THAT SITUATION, WHICH WILL REMAIN THE SAME OR DETERIARATE FURTHER. 

                       WITH THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTANCE OF TTHE FACTS ALSO COMES A DEGREE OF FREEDOM FROM THEM. FOR EXAMPLE WHEN YOU KNOW THERE IS DISHARMONY AND YOU HOLD THAT "KNOWING" THROUGH YOUR KNOWING A NEW FACTOR HAS COME IN, AND THE DISHARMONY CANNOT REMAIN UNCHANGED. WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT AT PEACE, YOUR KNOWING CREATES A STILL SPACE THAT SURROUNDS YOUR NONPEACE IN A LOVING AND TENDER EMBRACE AND THEN TRANSMUTES YOUR NONPEACE INTO PEACE. AS FAR AS INNER TRANSFORMATION IS CONCERNED, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. YOU CANNOT TRANSFORM YOURSELF, AND YOU CERTAINLY CANNOT TRANSFORM YOUR PARTNER OR ANYBODY ELSE. ALL YOU CAN DO IS CREATE A SPACE FOR TRANSFORMATION TO HAPPEN, FOR GRACE AND LOVE TO ENTER.  

           SO WHENEVER YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT WORKING, WHENEVER IT BRINGS OUT THE "MADNESS" IN YOU AND IN YOUR PARTNER, BE GLAD. WHAT WAS UNCONSCIOUS IS BEING BROUGHT UP TO THE LIGHT. IT IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR SAVATION. EVERY MOMENT, HOLD THE KNOWING OF THAT MOMENT, PARTICULARLY OF YOUR INNER STATE. IF THERE IS ANGER, KNOW THAT THERE IS ANGER. IF THERE IS JEALOUSLY, DEFENSIVENESS, THE URGUE TO ARUGUE, THE NEED TO BE RIGHT, AND UNNER CHILD DEMANDING LOVE AND ATTENTION, OR EMOTIONAL AND HOLD THE KNOWING . THE RELATIONSHIP THEN BECOMES YOUR SADHANA, YOUR SPIRITUAL PRACTICE. IF YOU OBSERVE UNCONSCIOUS BEHAVIOR IN YOUR PARTNER, HOLD IT IN THE LOVING EMBRACE OF YOUR KNOWING SO THA YOU WON'T REACT. UNCONSCIOUS AND KNOWING CANNOT COEXIST FOR LONG- EVEN IF THE KNOWING IS ONLY IN THE OTHER PERSON AND NOT IN THE ONE WHO IS ACTING OUT THE UNCONSCIOUSNESS. THE ENERGY FORM THAT LIES BEHIND HOSTILITY AND ATTACK FINDS THE PRESENCE OF LOVE ABSOLUTELY INTOLERABLE. IF YOU REACT AT ALL TO YOUR PARTNER'S UNCIOUSNESS, YOU BECOME UNCONSCIOUS YOURSELF. BUT IF YOU THEN REMEMBER TO KNOW YOUR REACTION NOTHING IS LOST.

                  IF YOU ARE CONSISTENLY OR AT LEAST PREDOMINANTLY PRESENT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, THIS WILL BE THE GREATEST CHALLENGE FOR YOUR PARTNER. THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TOLERATE YOUR PRESENCE FOR VERY LONG AND STAY UNCONSCIOUS. IF THEY ARE READY, THEY WILL WALK THROUGH THE DOOR THAT YOU OPENED FOR THEM AND JOIN YOU IN THAT STATE. IF THEY ARE NOT, YOU WILL SEPARATE LIKE OIL AND WATER. THE LIGHT IS TOO PAINFUL FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO REMAIN IN DARKNESS.

THE POWER OF POW

                                    WHICH IS THE POWERFUL TIME - ITS NOW!

               I HAVE LITTLE USE FOR THE PAST AND RARELY THINK ABOUT IT, HOWEVER, I WOULD BRIEFLY LIKE TO TELL YOU HOW I CAME TO BE A SPIRITUAL TEACHER AND HOW THIS BOOK CAME INTO EXISTENCE

            UNTIL  MY THIRTEENTH YEAR, I LIVED IN A STATE OF ALMOST CONTINUOS ANXIETY UNTERSPERSED WITH PERIODS OF SUICIDAL DEPRESSION. IT FEESL NOW AS IF I AM TALKING ABOUT SOME PAST LIFETIME OR SOMEBODY ELSE'S LIFE. 

           ONE NIGHT NOT LONG AFTER MY TWENTY-NINTH BIRTHDAY. I WOKE UP IN THE EARLY HOURS WITH A FEELING OF ABSOLUTE DREAD. I HAD WOKEDN UP WITH SUCH A FEELING MANY TIMES BEFORE, BUT THIS TIME IT WAS MORE INTENSE THAN IT HAD EVER BEEN. THE SILENCE OF THE NIGHT, THE VAGUE OUTLINES OF THE FURNITURE IN THE DARK ROOM, THE DISTANT NOISE OF A PASSING TRAIN-EVERYTHING FELT SO ALIEN, SO HOLTILE, AND SO UTTERLY MEANINGLESS THAT IT CREATED IN ME A DEEP LOATHING OF THE WORLD. THE MOST LOATHSOME THING OF ALL, HOWEVER, WAS MY OWN EXISTENCE. WHAT WAS THE POINT IN CONTINUING OF LIVE WITH THIS BURDEN OF MISERY? WHY CARRY ON WITH THIS CONTINIOUS STRUGGLE? I COULD FEEL THAT A DEEP LONGING FOR ANNIHILATION, FOR NONEXISTENCE, WAS NOW BECOMING MUCH STRONGER THAN THE INSTINCTIVE DESIRE TO CONTINUE TO LIVE.

                     I CANNOT LIVE WITH MYSELF LONGER, THIS WAS THE THOUGHT THAT KEPT REPEATING ITSELF IN MY MIND. THEN SUDDENLY I BECAME  AWARE OF WHAT A PECULIAR THOUGHT IT WAS. AM I ONE OR TWO? IF I CANNOT LIVE WITH MYSELF, THERE MUST BE TWO OF ME,  THE I AND SELF THAT I CANNOT LIVE WITH, MAYBE I THOUGHT ONLY ONE OF THEM IS REAL.

                 I WAS SO STUNNED BY THIS STRANGE REALIZATION THAT MY MIND STOPPED. I WAS FULLY CONSCIOUS, BUT THERE WERE NO MORE THOUGHTS. THEN I FELS DRAWN INTO WHAT SEEMED LIKE A VORTEX OF ENERGY. IT WAS A SLOW MOVEMENT AT FIRST AND THEN ACCELERATED. I WAS GRIPPED BY AN INTENSE FEAR, AND MY BODY STARTED TO SHAKE. I HEARD THE WORDS, RESIST NOTHING, AS IF SPOKEN INSIDE MY CHEST. I COULD FEEL MYSELF BEING SUCKED INT A VOID. IF FELT AS IF THE VOID WAS INSIDE MYSELF RATHER THAN OUTSIDE. SUDDENLY, THERE WAS NO MORE FEAR, AND I LET MYSELF FALL INTO THAT VOID. I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF WHAT HAPPEND AFTER THAT.

                    I WAS AWAKENED BY THE CHIRPING OF A BIRD OUTSIDE THE WINDOW. I HAD NEVER HEARD SUCH A SOUND BEFORE. MY EYES WERE STILL CLOSED. AND I SAW THE IMAGE OF A PRECIOUS DIAMOND. YES, IF A DIAMOND COULD MAKE A SOUND, THIS IS WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE. I OPENED MY EYES. THE FIRST LIGHT OF DRAWN WAS FILTERING THROUGH THE CURTAINS. WITHOUT ANY THOUGHT, I FELT, K KNEW, THAT THERE IS INFINITELY MORE TO LIGHT THAT WE REALIZE. THAT SOFT LUMINOSITY FILTERING THROUGH THE CURTAINS WE LOVE ITSELF. TEARS CAME INTO MY EYES, I GOT UP AND WALKED AROUND THE ROOM. I RECONGNIZED THE ROOM, AND YET I KNEW THAT I HAD NEVER TRULY SEEN IT BEFORE. EVERYTHING WAS FRESH AND PRISTINE, AS IF IT HAD JUST COME INTO EXISTENCE, I PICKED UP THINGS, A PENCIL, AN EMPTY BOTTLE, MARVELLING AT THE BEAUTY AND ALIVENESS OF IT ALL.

                 THAT DAY I WALKED AROUND THE CITY IN UTTER AMAZEMENT AT THE MIRACLE OF LIFE ON EARTH, AS IF I HAD JUST BEEN BORN INTO THIS WORLD.

                  FOR THE NEXT FIVE MONTHS, I LIVED IN A STATE OF UNINTERUPPED DEEP PEACE AND BLISS. AFTER THAT, IT DIMINISHED SOMEWHAT IN INTENSITY, OR PERHAPS IT JUST SEEMED TO BECAUSE IT BECAME MY NATURAL STATE. I COULD STILL FUNCTION IN THE WORLD, ALTHOUGH I REALIZED THAT NOTHING I EVER DID COULD POSSIBLY AND ANYTHING TO WHAT I ALREADY HAD.

                     

            I KNEW OF COURSE, THAT SOMETHING PROFOUNDLY SIGNIFICANT HAD HAPPENED TO ME, BUT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT AT ALL. IT WASN'T UNTIL SEVERAL YEARS LATER, AFTER I HAD READ  SPIRITUAL TEXTS AND SPEND TIME WITH SPIRITUAL TEACHERS. THAT I REALIZED THAT WHAT EVERYBODY WAS LOOKING FOR HAD ALWAYS HAPPENED TO ME. I UNDERSTOOD THAT THE INTENSE PRESSURE OF SUFFERING THAT NIGHT MUSH HAVE FORCED MY CONSCIOUSNESS TO WITHDRAW FROM ITS IDENTIFICATION WITH THE UNHAPPY AND DEEPTY FEERFUL SELF, WHICH IS ULTIMATELY A FICTION FO THE MIND. THIS WITHDRAWAL MUST HAVE BEEN SO COMPLETE THAT THIS FALSE, SUFFERING SELF IMMEDIATELY COLLAPSED, JUST AS IF A PLUG HAD BEEN PULLED OUT OF AN INFLATABLE TOY. WHAT WAS LEFT THEN WAS MY TRUE NATURE AS THE EVER-PRESENT I AM: CONSCIOUSNESS IN ITS PURE STATE PRIOR TO IDENFICATION WITH FORM. LATER I ALSO LEARNED TO GO INTO THAT INNER TIMELESS AND DEATHLESS REALM THAT I HAD ORIGINALLY PERCEIVED AS A VOID AND REMAIN FULLY CONSCIOUS. I DWELT IN STATES OF SUCH INDESCRIBABLE BLISS AND SACREDNESS THAT EVER THE ORIGINAL EXPERIENCE. I JUST DESCRIBED PALES IN COMPARISON. A TIME CAME WHEN, FOR A WHILE, I WAS LEFT WITH NOTHING ON THE PHYSICAL PLANE. I HAD NO RELATIONSHIPS, NO JOB, NO HOME, NO SOCIALLY DEFINED IDENTITY. I SPENT ALMOST TWO YEARS STTING ON PARK BENCHES IN A STATE OF THE MOST INTENSE JOY.

                          BEFORE I KNEW, I HAD AN EXTERNAL IDENTITY AGAIN. I HAD BECOME A SPIRITUAL TEACHER.