OUR CAREER

                                             CAREER WILL CHANGE ALL

                 

                    MY OWN CAREER TRANSITION IS ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HOW BENEFITS COME FROM PROBLEMS AND DIFFICULTIES. I WAS NEVER INTERESTED IN SELF-DEVELOPMENT MATERIALS UNTIL I HAD YEARS OF UNHAPPINESS AFTER GRADUATING FROM LAW SCHOOL. I ONLY FOUND THESE PRINCIPLES AFTER I'D REACHED A LOW POINT IN MY LIFE.

                 I NOW REALIZE THAL ALL THE MISERIES I ENDURED I CAN SEE, QUITE CLEARLY, HOW THE EVENTS OF MY LIFE, SET ME UP, FOR WHAT WAS TO COME. I HAD TO GO THROUGH THE TOUGH TIMES AND THE UNHAPPINESS AND TO BREAK THROUGH THAT LOW MOOD SO I WOULD UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF A POSITIVE ATTITUDE.

                SO, WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME THEY'RE DISCOURAGED OR IT'S OBVIOUS THEY HAVE A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE, I KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE. I'VE BEEN THERE! BY GOING THROUGH SOME CHALLENGING TIMES, I LEARNED THINGS THAT ARE INVALUABLE TO ME- AND I CAN RELATE MUCH BETTER TO THOSE WHO HEAR MY PRESENTATIONS AND READ MY WRITINGS.

                 AND THE REALITY IS, IF HADN'T GROWN MORE AND MORE DISSATISFIED WITH MY WORK AS AN ATTORNEY, I NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN OPEN TO SWITCHING CAREERS. IF I HAD RATED JOB AS A 'C' OR 'C', I WOULD HAVE KEPT PRACTICING LAW. I WOULD HAVE SETTLED FOR LIVING A 'C' LIFE. IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I WAS A 'D'... AND HEADING FOR AN 'F' ... THAT I WAS MOTIVATED TO MAKE A CHANGE!

                  WHEN SOMEONE ASKES ME WHY I CHANGED CAREERS, I REPLY, WITHOUT HESITATION, 'LOTS OF PAIN',  - PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY. AND IT'S THAT PAIN - TOO INTENSE TO IGNORE- THAT FORCED ME TO MAKE A DECISION AND MOVE IN ANOTHER DIRECTION. LIFE IS NOW AN 'A' ... AND THINGS ARE ONLY GETTING BETTER!

                 NOW, LET'S LOOK AT YOUR LIFE. CAN YOU THINK OF ANY SITUATION WHERE A SEEMINGLY NEGAYIVE EXPERIENCE TURNED INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE? MAY BE YOU WERE DISMISSED FROM A JOB... AND THEN LADDED A BETTER POSITION, OR, PERHAPS YOU HAD A HEALTH PROBLEM AND IT CAUSED YOU TO CHANGE YOUR DIET OR TO START EXCISING REGULARLY. CAREFULLY REVIEW THE DIFFICULTIES ADN SEBACKS YOU'VE FACED - AND IDENTIFY AND BENEFITS AND LESSONS AND IDENTIFY THE BENEFITS AND LESSONS THAT COME OUT OF THESE EXPERIENCE. THE POSITIVES ARE THERE... IF YOU LOOK FOR THEM!

                                                   HOW ADVERSITY SERVES US

                  AT THIS POINT, LET'S EXAMINE SEVEN WAYS IN WHICH ADVERSITY IN                             SERVE US.

 

               1. ADVERSITY GIVE US PERSPECTIVE. ONCE YOU'VE RECOVERED FROM A LIFE-THREATENING ILLNESS. A FLAT OR A LEAKY ROOF DOESN'T SEEM TO TROUBLING ANYMORE. YOU'RE  ABLE TO RISE ABOVE THE PETTY ANNOYANCES OF DAILY LIVING AND FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON THE TRULY IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR LIFE.

              2. ADVERSITY TEACHES US TO BE GRATEFUL. THROUGH PROBLEMS AND DIFFUCULTIES, ESPECIALLY THOSE WHICH INVOLVE LOSS OR DEPRIVATION, YOU DEVELOP A DEEPER APPRECIATION FOR MANY ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE. IT'S TRITE BUT TRUE - YOU DON'T USUALLY APPRECIATE SOMETHING UNTIL IT'S TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU. WHEN YOU HAVE NO HOT WATER, YOU SUDDENLY VALUE HOT WATER. NOT UNTIL YOU'RE SICK TO DO CHERISH GOOD HEALTH. THE WISE PERSON CONTINUES TO DWELL ON BLESSINGS, EVEN AFTER THE PERIOD OF LOSS OR DEPREVATION HAS PASSED. REMEMBER, WE'RE ALWAYS MOVING IN THE DIRECTION OF OUR DOMINANT THOUGHTS, THEREFORE, CANCENTRATING ON WHAT YOU HAVE TO BE GRATEFUL FOR BRINGS EVEN MORE GOOD THINGS INTO YOUR LIFE.

                     3. ADVERSITY BRINGS OUT OUR HIDDEN POTENTIAL. AFTER SURVIVING A DIFFICULT ORDEAL OR OVERCOMING AN OBSTACLE, YOU EMERGE EMOTIONALLY STRONGER. LIFE HAS TESTED YOU AND YOU WERE EQUAL TO THE TASK. THEN, WHEN THE NEXT HURDLE APPEARS, YOU'RE BETTER EQUIPPED TO HALDLE IT. PROBLEMS AND CHALLENGES BRING OUT THE BEST WITHIN US- WE DISCOVER ABILITIES WE NEVER KNEW WE POSSESSED. MANY OF US WOULD NEVER HAVE DISCOVERED THESE TALENTS IF LIFE HADN'T MADE US TRAVEL OVER SOME BUMPY GROUND. ADVERSITY REVEALS TO YOU YOUR OWN STRENGTHS AND CAPACITIES, AND BECKONS YOU TO DEVELOP THOSE QUALITIES EVEN FURTHER.

                   4. ADVERSITY ENCOURAGES US TO MAKE CHANGES AND TAKE ACTION. MOST PEOPLE CLING TO OLD, FAMILIAR PATTERNS REGARDLESS OF HOW BORING OR PAINFUL THEIR LIVES HAVE BECOME. IT OFTEN TAKES A CRISIS OR A SERIES OF DIFFICULTIES TO MOTIVATE THE TO MAKE ADJUSTMENTS. PROBLEMS ARE OFTEN LIFE'S WAY OF LETTING YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE OFF COURSE AND NEED TO TAKE CORRECTIVE ACTION.

                  5. ADVERSITY TEACHES US VALUABLE LESSONS. TAKE THE EXAMPLE OF A FAILED BUSINESS VENTURE. THE ENTREPRENEUR MAY LEARN SOMETHING THAT ENABLES HIM OR HER TO SUCCEED SPECTACULARLY ON THE NEXT VENTURE.

                 6. ADVERSITY OPENS A NEW DOOR. A RELATIONSHIP TERMINATES AND YOU GO ON TO A MORE SATISFYING RELATIONSHIP. YOU LOSE YOUR JOB AND FIND A BETTER ONE. IN THESE INSTANCES, THE PROBLEM IS NOT A PROBLEM AT ALL, BUT RATHER AN OPPORTUNITY IN DISGUISE. ONE DOOR IN YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN SHUT, BUT THERE IS A BETTER ONE WATING TO BE OPENED.

              7. ADVERSITY BUILDS CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM. WHEN YOU MUSTER ALL OF YOUR COURAGE AND DETERMINATION TO OVERCOME AN OBSTACLE, YOU FEEL COMPETENT AND GAIN CONFIDENCE. YOU HAVE A GREATER FEELING OF SELF-WORTH AND YOU CARRY THESE POSITIVE FEELINGS INTO SUBSEQUENT ACTIVITIES.

             

                                        RELAX  AND INVOLVE YOUR SENSES

                WHAT'S THE BEST METHOD TO USE WHEN CONCENTRATING ON YOUR NEW IMAGES? IT'S BEEN PROVEN THAT YOUR MIND IS MOST RECEPTIVE TO VISUALIZATION WHEN YOU'RE CALM AND NOT THINKING ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS SIMULTANEOUSLY. SO, SIT DOWN IN A COMFORTABLE CHAIR AT HOME, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND DO SOME DEEP BREATHING EXERCISE TO CLEAR YOUR MIND AND RELAX YOUR BODY. NOW DEVELOP IMAGES THAT INVOLVES AS MANY SENSES AS YOU CAN. THE MORE SLIGHTS, SOUNDS, SMELLS, TASTES AND TOUCHES YOU PUT IN YOUR PICTURES, THE MORE POWERFUL THE 'PULL' FOR TOUCHES YOU PUT IN YOUR PICTURES, THE MORE POWERFUL THE TO MAKE YOUR VISION A REALITY.

                HERE'S AN EXAMPLE, LETS SAY YOU'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF OWNING A BEACH-FRONT HOUSE IN THE CARIBBEAN. PICTURE THE WHITE AND PEACH-COLORED HOUSE. SEE THE GREEN PALM TRESS SLOWLY SWAYING IN THE GENTLE BREEZE. SMELL THE SALT AIR. FEEL THE WARM SAND BETWEEN YOUR TOES. FEEL THE SUNSHINE ON YOUR FACE, ISN'T THIS PARADISE?

 

                  AND ALL THIS CAN BE YOURS IF YOU HOLD ONTO THIS IMAGE AND DO WHAT IT TAKES A CHIEVE IT! ALSO, REMEMBER THAT THOSE IMAGES ASSOCIATED WITH STRONG EMOTIONS HAVE ENVEN MORE POWER, SO BE SURE TO ADD POSITIVE FEELINGS TO YOUR VISION. FOR INSTANCE, WHEN VISUAL

IZING YOUR IDEAL JOB, COMBINE THE VIVID MENTAL PICTURE AND THE PHYSICAL SENSES WITH THE TERRIFIC EMOTIONS OF PRIDE AND SATISFACTION YOU'LL HAVE WORKING IN THAT NEW POSITION.

                 FINALLY, DON'T BE CONCERNED WITH THE QUALTIY OF YOUR IMAGES AT THE OUTSET. SOME PEOPLE CAN CREATE LIVELY COLOR PICTURES WHILE OTHERS HAVE TROUBLE GETTING ANYTHING MORE THAN A FUZZY IMAGE. IT'S ALSO POSSIBLE YOU MAY ONLY TO ABLE TO GET A PARTICULAR FEELING AT THE BEGINNING AS OPPOSITE TO A CLEAR IMAGE.

                 IN ANY CASE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. DO THE BEST YOU CAN DO DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE ELSE. YOUR IMAGES WILL BECOME SHARPER OVER TIME. THE KEY IS TO SPEND SEVERAL MINUTES EACH DAY RUNNING THESE NEW MOVIES IN YOUR MIND.

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THE FAILURES

                                     FAILURES MAKES OPPORTUNITY

                 SHE COULDN'T PAY HER CREDIT CARD BILLS FOR 26 YEARS.

                 SHE MOVED 25 TIMES LOOKING FOR WORK.

                 SHE WAS FIRED 18 TIMES.

                 SHE WORKED FOR 26 YEARS BEFORE SHE EARNED AN ANNUAL SALARY OF $22000. SHE OCCASIONALLY LIVED ON FOOD STAMPS AND SLEPT IN HER CAR.

                 YOUR PROBABLY THINKING, IF THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT SUCCESS, WHY YOU ARE DRONING ON AND ON ABOUT A WOMAN WHO HAD SO MANY FAILURES?

               I'LL TELL YOU WHY. THE 'FAILURE,' DESCRIBED ABOVE IN WELL-KNOWN TV TALK SHOW HOST SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL. YOU SEE, DESPITE ALL OF HER SETBACKS, SHE REFUSED TO GIVE UP CHILDHOOD DREAM OF A CAREER IN BROADCASTING.

             SHE WAS WILLING TO KEEP FAILING... AND KEEP FAILING... UNTIL SHE SUCCEEDED. SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL HAS EARNED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND ENJOYED A LONG AND SUCCESSFUL TV CAREER. ALL BECAUSE SHE KEPT A GREAT ATTITUDE DESPITE YEARS OF FAILURES.

                                                       IN THE BEGINNING

                 HOW IS IT THAT SOMEONE LIKE SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL CAN ENDURE 26 YEARS OF FAILURE AND KEEP GOING? IF YOU LOOK BACK TO YOUR OWN CHILDHOOD, I THINK YOU'LL SEE THAT YOU, TOO DEMONSTRATED TREMENDOUS RESILIENCE IN THE FACE OF REPEATED FAILURES.

               REMEMBER WHEN YOU LEARNED HOW TO RIDE A BICYCLE? YOU PROBABLY BEGAN WITH TRAINING WHEELS. EVENTUALLY, WHEN THESE CRUTCHES WERE REMOVED, KEEPING YOUR BALANCE BECAME MORE DIFFICULT. YOU STRUGGLED TO STAY UPRIGHT, MAYBE EVEN FALLING A FEW TIMES AND SCRAPING YOURSELF. YOU WERE LEARNING AN IMPORTANT EARLY LESSON ABOUT FAILURE.

           AS YOU PRACTICED, IT'S LIKELY THAT ONE OF YOUR PARENTS WALKED BESIDE YOU SHOUTING INSTRUCTIONS, ENCOURAGING YOU AND CATCHING YOU AS YOU LOST BALANCE. YOU WERE SCARED... BUT EXCITED! YOU LOOKED FORWARD TO THE TIME WHEN YOU WOULD SUCCEED, WHEN YOU WOULD ATLAST RIDE FREE ON YOUR OWN. SO YOU KEPT AT IT EVERY DAY, AND EVENTUALLY MASTERED THE SKILL OF RIDING A BIKE.

           WHAT CONTRIBUTED TO YOUR ULTIMATE SUCCESS IN LEARNING HOW TO RIDE YOUR BIKE? WELL, PERSISTENCE AND SHEER REPETITION, CERTAINLY. YOU WERE GOING TO STICK WITH IT NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TOOL! IT ALSO HELPED THAT YOU WERE ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT WHAT YOU SET OUT TO ACHIEVE - THAT YOU COULD HARDLY WAIT TO REACH YOUR GOAL. AND FINALLY, LET'S NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPACT OF POSITIVE ENCOURAGEMENT. YOU ALWAYS KNEW YOUR PARENTS WERE IN YOUR CORNER, SUPPORTING YOU, ROOTING FOR YOUR SUCCESS.

           AS A SIX-YEARS LEARNING TO RIDE YOUR BIKE, YOU WERE OPTIMISTIC ...THRILLED... AND EAGER TO MEET THE CHALLENGE. YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO TRY AGAIN. YOU KNEW YOU'D MASTER IT EVENTUALLY.

           BUT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

                                                      YESTERDAY AND TODAY

                                     NOW LET'S EXAMINE HOW MOST ADULTS APPROACH THE DEVELOPMENT OF NEW SKILLS. WOULD YOU SAY THEY'RE OPTIMISTIC... THRILLED... AND EAGER TO MEET THE CHALLENGE? WE BOTH KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION IS "NO".

                               LET'S ASSUME WE ASKED A GROUP OF ADULTS TO LEARN A NEW SOFTWARE PROGRAM OR TO SWITCH TO ANOTHER POSITION IN THE COMPANY. HOW WOULD MOST RESPOND?

                                         👀 THEY'D TRY TO AVOID IT.

                                         👀 THEY'D COMPLAIN.

                                         👀 THEY'D MAKE EXCUSES WHY THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TO                                                        DO  IT.

                                         👀 THEY'D DOUBT THEIR ABILITIES.

                                         👀 THEY'D BE AFRAID.

                         WHAT HAPPENEDTO THAT SIX-YEAR-OLD BRIMMING WITH VITALITY AND A SENSE OF ADVENTURE? HOW DID THAT CHILD TURN INTO AN ADULT MOANING AND GROANING ABOUT LEARNING SOMETHING NEW? AS ADULTS, MOST OF US BECOME A LOT MORE CONCERNED ABOUT EH OPINIONS OF OTHERS, OFTEN HESITATING BECAUSE PEOPLE MAY LAUGH AT UR OR CRITICIZE US.

                           AT THE AGE OF SIX, WE KNEW WE HAD TO FALL OFF THE BIKE AND GET BACK ON TO LEARN A NEW SKILL. FALLING OFF THE BIKE WASN'T A BAD THING, BUT AS WE GOT OLDER, WE STARTED TO PERCEIVE FALLING OFF AS A BAD THING-RATHER THAN AN ESSENTIAL PART OF THE PROCESS OF ACHIEVING OUR GOAL.

                       AS I POINTED OUT IN LESSON 10, IT CAN BE UNCOMFORTABLE TO TRY SOMETHING NEW, PERHAPS EVEN SCARY. BUT IF YOU TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE GOAL AND INSTEAD FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON HOW OTHERS MAY BE VIEWING YOU, YOU'RE DOING YOURSELF A GRAVE DISSERVICE. TO DEVELOP A NEW SKILL OR REACH A  MEANINGFUL TARGET, YOU MUST BE COMMITTED TO DOING WHAT IT TAKES A GET THERE, EVEN IF IT MEANS PUTTING UP WITH NEGATIVE FEEDBACKS OR FALLING ON YOUR FACE NOW AND THEN.

                  SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE HAVE LEARNED TO FAIL, THEIR WAY TO SUCCESS. WHILE THEY MAY NOT NECESSARY PART OF THE ROAD TO VICTORY. AFTER ALL, BECOMING PROFICIENT AT ANY SKILL REQUIRES TIME, EFFORT AND DISCIPLINE ... AND THE WILLINGNESS TO PERSEVERE THROUGH WHATEVER DIFFICULTIES MAY ARISE.

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ATTITUDE AND ACTION

                                                              TRY THIS 

                     1.  PROJECT A WINNING ATTITUDE. WHEN IT COMES TO NETWORKING, ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHIN! IF YOU'RE POSITIVE AND ENTHUSIASTIC, PEOPLE WILL WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU. THEY'LL WANT TO HELP YOU. IF YOU'RE GLOOMY AND NEGATIVE,  PEOPLE WILL AVOID YOU, AND THEY'LL HESITATE TO REFER YOU TO THEIR TO THEIR FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES.
              

                    2. PARTICIPATE ACTIVELY IN GROUPS AND ORGANIZATIONS. EFFECTIVE NETWORKING AND RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING TAKES MORE THAN PAYING DUES, PUTTING YOUR NAME IN A DIRECTORY AND SHOWING UP FOR MEETINGS. YOU MUST DEMONSTRATE THAT YOU'LL TAKE THE TIME AND MAKE THE EFFORT TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE GROUP.

                        WHAT KINDS OF THINGS CAN YOU DO?FOR STARTERS, YOU CAN VOLUNTEER FOR COMMITTEES OR SERVE AS AN OFFICER OR MEMBER OF THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS. THE OTHER MEMBERS WILL RESPECT YOU WHEN THEY SEE YOU ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES AND DO SOME WORK. THEY'LL ALSO LEARN ABOUT YOUR PEOPLE SKILLS, YOUR CHARACTER, YOUR VALUES AND LAST, BUT NO LEAST, YOUR ATTITUDE!

                        LET'S GET BACK TO STU KARMEN FOR A MOMENT. HE WANTED TO BUILD CONTACTS WITHIN ADVERTISING AGENCIES, SO HE JOINED THE LONG ISLAND ADVERTISING CLUB IN 1994. STU IMMEDIATELY BEGAN TO ATTEND THE GROUP'S MEETINGS. WHEN THEY ASKED FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR VARIOUS PROJECTS, STU RAISED HIS HAND. HE GOT ACTIVELY INVOLVED!

                       WITHIN SIX MONTHS AFTER JOINING, SOMEBODY APPROACHED HIM AND SAID, WE HEAR GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOU. YOU'RE A HARD WORKER AND VERY ENERGETIC. WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN OUR BOARD OF DIRECTORS? AS YOU MIGHT GUESS, STU GLADLY ACCEPTED. AND WITHIN A FEW MONTHS, HE BEGAN TO SEE A SIGNIFICANT INCREASE IN HIS BUSINESS. IN EARLY 1999, STY TOLD ME THAT WELL OVER 50 PERCENT OF HIS CURRENT BUSINESS CAN BE TRACED TO PEOPLE HE MET THROUGH THE LONG ISLAND ADVERTISING CLUB - PROVING THAT PEOPLE CAN GET BIG RESULTS IN A SHORT TIME BY NETWORKING EFFECTIVELY.

                      3. SERVE OTHERS IN YOUR NETWORK. SERVING OTHERS IS CRUCIAL TO BUILDING AND BENEFITING FROM YOUR NETWORK! YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE THINKING, HOW CAN I SERVE OTHERS? IF YOU COME ACROSS AS DESPERATE OR AS A TAKER, RATHAN THAN A GIVER, YOU WON'T FIND PEOPLE WILLING TO HELP YOU. GOING THE EXTRA MILE FOR OTHERS IS THE BEST WAY TO GET THE FLOW OF GOOD THINGS COMING BACK TO YOU.

                         HOW CAN YOU SERVE OTHERS IN YOUR NETWORK? START BY REFERING BUSINESS LEADS OR POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS. IN ADDITION, WHENEVER YOU SEE AN ARTICLE OR OTHER INFORMATION THAT MIGHT BE OF INTEREST TO SOMEONE IN YOUR NETWORK, FORWARD THE MATERIAL TO THAT PERSON.

                        WHEN I THINK OF EFFECTIVE NETWORKERS, THE FIRST NAME THAT COMES TO MIND IS MARK LEBLAC. MARK GIVES PRESENTATIONS TO BUSINESS OWNERS WHO WANT TO GROW THEIR BUSINES AND TO SALESPEOPLE WHO WANT TO SEE MORE OF THEIR PRODUCTS AND SERVICES, I'VE REFERED MANY PEOPLE TO MARK. WHY? HE'S A TALENTED. SERVICE-ORIENTED PERSON WHO HAS GONE OUT OF HIS WAY TO ENCOURAGE ME ... AND TO HELP ME BUILD MY BUSINESS.

                      MARK HAS PUT ME IN TOUCH WITH PEOPLE IN HIS OWN NETWORK WHO ARE IN A POSITION TO HELP ME. HE DISTRIBUTES MY MATERIALS AT HIS PRESENTATIONS. MARK IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO JUST KEEPS GIVING.. AND GIVING... THA'S WHY PEOPLE WANT TO HELP MARK- AND THAT'S ONE REASON WHY HIS OWN BUSINESS IS GROWING!

                        AS THE BIBLE SAYS, GIVE AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO YOU. THAT'S THE                          TRUTH!

                                                                        REFERRALS

                    4. IF YOU REFER SOMEONE, MAKE SURE THAT THE PERSON MENTIONS YOUR NAME AS THE SOURCE OF THE REFERRAL. BE EXPLICIT. LET'S ASSUME YOU'RE ABOUT TO REFER JOHN SMITH TO YOUR GRAPHIC DESIGNER. JAN JONES. YOU MIGHT SAY TO JOHN GIVE JANE A CALL, AND PLEASE TEEL HER THAT I REFERRED YOU, IN SOME INSTANCE, YOU MAY EVEN CALL JANE AND LET KNWO THAT JOHN SMITH WILL BE CONTACTING HER.

                       THEN, THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE OR SPEAK TO JANE, REMEMBER TO ASK IF JOHN CALLED AND HOW IT TURNED OUT. YOU WANT TO REINFORCE IN JANE'S MIND THAT YOU'RE LOOKING OUT FOR HER AND HELPING HER TO GROW HER BUSINESS.

                 5. BE SELECTIVE. DON'T REFER EVERY PERSON YOU MEET. RESPECT THE TIME OF THOSE IN YOUR NETWORK. REFERRING 'UNQUALIFIED' LEADS WILL REFLECT POORLY ON YOU. ASK YOURSELF WHETHER OR NOT A PARTICULAR REFERRAL IS REALLY GOING TO BE OF VALUE OF YOUR NETWORK PARTNER. KEEP IN MIND THAT THE KEY IS THE QUALITY, NOT QUALITY, OF THE LEADS YOU SUPPLY.

                 

                                                              COMMUNICATION

 

                6. BE A GOOD LISTENER. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SPEAKING TO SOMEONE WHO GOES ON AND ON ABOUT HIMSELF AND HIS BUSINESS - AND NEVER TAKES A MOMENT TO ASK ABOUT YOU? WE'VE ALL RUN INTO THE ME, ME, ME, TYPES - AND THEY'RE THE LAST PEOPLE YOU WANT TO HELP.

               7. CALL PEOPLE FROM TIME TO TIME JUST BECAUSE YOU CARE. HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN SOMEONE CALLS YOU ON THE PHONE AND SAYS, HEY, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND WAS WONDERING HOW YOU'RE DOING? I'LL BET YOU FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS! IF THAT'S THE CASE, WHY DON'T WE MAKE THESE CALLS MORE OFTEN?

                      EVERY NOW AND THEN, MAKE IT A POINT TO CALL PEOPLE IN YOUR NETWORK SIMPLY TO ASK HOW THEY'RE DOING AND TO OFFER YOUR SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT. THAT'S RIGHT. CALL JUST BECAUSE YOU CARE- AND BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'D LIKE TO BE TREATED.

                      EVERY DECEMBER, I PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL CERTAIN CLIENTS I HAVEN'T SPOKEN WITH FOR A LONG TIME. MANY OF THESE PEOPLE HAVEN'T ORDERED ANYTHING FROM MY COMPANY IN YEARS. MY CALL IS UPBEAT AND MY ONLY AGENDA IS TO BE FRIENDLY. I DON'T TRY TO SELL THEM ANYTHING. I APPRECIATE THE BUSINESS THEY'VE GIVEN ME IN THE PAST, AND I JUST WANT TO HEAR HOW THEY'RE DOING, PERSONALLY AND PROFESSIONALLY.

                         IF BUSINESS COMES FROM THESE CALLS, THAT'S GREAT.

                         IF BUSINESS DOESN'T COME FROM THESE CALLS, THAT'S GREAT.

                           YEAR AFTER YEARS, I DO GET BUSINESS AS A RESULT OF MAKING THESE CALLS. SOMEONE WILL SAY, I NEED TO ORDER MORE OF THOSE ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING LAPEL PINS, OR OUR COMPANY IS HAVING A SALES MEETING IN SIX MONTHS, AND THEY MAY WANT TO DO A PRESENTATION.

                      PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THIS ISN'T MANIPULATION OR A SALES TACTIC ON MY PART. I'M NOT EXPECTING THESE PEOPLE TO GIVE ME BUSINESS. I REALLY CARE ABOUT HOW THEY'RE DOING. BUSINESS IS SIMPLY A BY-PRODUCT OF RECONNECTING WITH THEM.

 

                                                                         ❤❤❤❤❤❤

 

            

                 

WHY AMERICANS ARE THE RICHEST PEOPLES

                                                   THE RICHEST PEOPLES

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            ONE REASON WHY AMERICANS ARE THE RICHEST AND THE FREEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD- AND PERHAPS THIS IS THE ONLY REASON - IS THE FACT THAT WE THINK AND TALK AND ACT IN TERMS OF FREEDOM AND RICHES. OUR NATION WAS LITERALLY BORN OR OUR DESIRE FOR LIBERTY. OUR HISTORY BOOKS ARE FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT OF LIBERTY. WE HAVE TALKED OF LIBERTY SO MUCH THAT WE HAVE IT IN ABUNDANCE. WE SHALL CEASE TO HAVE IT IF WE STOP TALKING AND THINKING ABOUT IT.

              HILL : MR. CARNEGIE, CAN YOU GIVE ME ILLUSTRATION OF HOW PEOPLE GET THAT ABOUT WHICH THEY THINK AND TALK?

             CARNEGIE : WHY JUST GO BACK TO THE HISTORY OF THIS COUNTRY AND STUDY THE EVENTS THAT LET UP TO THE SIGNING OF THE DELARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. HERE YOU WILL DISCOVER SOMETHING THAT NEVER STUDENTS OF HISTORY OVERLOOK ENTIRELY - NAMELY, THE REAL SOURCE OF THE POWER THAT ENBLED GEORGE WASHINGTON'S ARMIES TO WIN OVER VASTLY SUPERIOR AND BETTER EQUIPPED ARMIES.

           THE POWER OF WHICH I SPEAK IS THE POWER THAT BEGAN IN THE ITSELF, THROUGH THE MASTER MIND RELATIONSHIPS OF THESE MEN, UNTIL IT GAVE THIS COUNTRY THE LIBERTY AND FREEDOM WE NOW ENJOY.

            HILL : WELL, MR. CARNEGIE, THIS IS CERTAILY A NEW STORY FOR ME. TELL ME HOW IT CAME ABOUT, IF YOU PLEASE?

             CARNEGIE : IT STARTED DEFINITELY WITH THREE MEN, JOHN HANCOCK, SAMUEL ADAMS, ADN RICHARD HENRY LEE, WHO COMMUNICATED FREELY, MOSTLY BY CORRESPONDENCE, EXPRESSING THEIR VIEWS AND HOPES REGARDING THE FREEDOM OF THE COLONIES.

              FROM THIS PRACTICE SAMUEL ADAMS CONCEIVED THE IDEA THAT A MUTUAL EXCHANGE OF LETTERS BETWEEN THE PROMINENT PEOPLE OF THE THIRTEEN COLONIES MIGHT HELP TO BRING ABOUT THE COORDINATION OF EFFORT SO BADLY NEEDED TO SOLVE THEIR COMMON PROBLEMS.

                 ACCORDINGLY, A COMMITTEE OF CORRESPONDENCE WAS ORGANIZED. THIS MOVE INCREASED THE POWER OF THE MASTER MIND ALLIANCE OF THE THREE MEN BY ADDING TO IT MEN FROM ALL THE COLONIES. THESE THREE MEN DID NOT CONTENT THEMSELVES BY MERELY WRITING LETTERS, BUT THEY KEPT UP THE AGITATION BY CORRESPONDENCE UNTIL IT LED, FINALLY, TO THE HISTORIC MEETING IN INDEPENDENCE HALL, IN PHILADELPHIA, AT WHICH FIFTY-SIX MEN SIGNED THEIR NAMES TO THE DOCUMENT THAT WAS DESTINED TO GIVE BIRTH TO A NEW NATION - THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. THEY WERE MOTIVATED BY AN ACTIVE FAITH.

                     HILL : THIS IS A THRILLING CHAPTER OF OUR HISTORY INDEED, MR. CARNEGIE, WAS IT ACTUALLY THAT SIMPLE?

                    CARNEGIE : IT WAS FAR FROM SIMPLE, BUT THE PRINCIPLE AT WORK ARE SIMPLE. WHILE THE LETTER WRITING PROGRAM WAS GOING ON, SAMUEL ADAMS AND JOHN HANCOCK CALLED A SECRET MEETING OF THEIR CLOSE FRIENDS FOR THE PURPOSE OF OUTLINING THE STEPS NECESSARY TO TRANSLATE THEIR DEFINITE PURPOSE INTO ACTION.

                   WHEN THE MEETING HAD BEEN CALLED TO ORDER, SAMUEL ADAMS LOCKED THE DOOR,  PLACED THE KEY IN HIS POCKET, AND CALMLY TOLD THOSE PRESENT THAT IS WAS IMPERATIVE A CONGRESS OF THE COLONISTS BE ORGANIZED,  AND INFORMED THEM THAT NO MAN WOULD BE PERMITED TO LEAVE THE ROOM UNTIL THE DECISION FOR SUCH A CONGRESS HAD BEEN REACHED. HERE IS MORE EVIDENCE OF ACTIVE FAITH.

                   THROUGH THE INFLUENCE OF HANCOCK AND ADAMS THE OTHERS PRESENT WERE INDEED TO AGREE THAT, THROUGH THE CORRESPONDENCE COMMITTEE, ARRAGEMENTS WOULD BE MADE FOR A METTING OF THE FIRST CONTINENTAL CONGRESS, TO HE HELD IN PHILADELPHIA, SEPTEMBER 5, 1774, ALMOST TWO YEARS BEFORE THE ACTUAL SIGNING OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE.

               REMEMBER THIS DATE, AND REMEMBER THE TWO DETERMINED MEN WHO BROUGHT IT ABOUT, FOR IF THERE HAD BEEN NO DECISION TO HOLD TO CONTINENTAL CONGRESS, THERE COULD HAVE BEEN NO SIGNING  OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. PASSIVE FAITH NEVER WOULD HAVE LET TO THIS DARING MOVE. 

                   HILL : I MUST SAY THAT WE NEED SOME OF THAT BRAND OF FAITH IN OUR NATION TODAY.

                  CARNEGIE : AGITATION WAS KEPT UP,M BY CORRESPONDENCE AND BY SECRET MEETINGS BETWEEN THE MEMBERS OF THE MASTER MIND ALLIANCE ORGANIZED BY HANCOCK, ADAMS, AND LEE, FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS, RESULTING IN THE FAMOS MEETING AT PHILODELPHIA IN 1776, BY THIS TIME THE MASTER MIND HAD GROWN TI FIFTY-SIX MEN. THE MEETING LASTED FOR SEVERAL DAYS, DURING WHICH THOSE MEN ENGAGED IN THE MOST STUPENDOUS ROUND-TABLE CONVERSATIONS KNOWN TO MODERN CIVILIZATION.

                  ON JUNE 7TH, 1776, RICHARD HENRY LEE RECOGNIZED THAT THE TIME FOR MERE CONVERSATIONS HAD COME TO AN END AND THE TIME FOR ACTION HAD ARRIVED. HE ROSE, ADDRESSED THE CHAIR, AND TO THE STARTLED ASSEMBLY  MADE THIS MOTION:

                  GENTLEMEN, I MAKE THE MOTION THAT THE UNITED COLONIES ARE, AND OF RIGHT OUGHT TO BE, FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, THAT THEY BE ABSOVED FROM ALL ALLEGIANCE TO THE BRITISH CROWN, AND THAT ALL POLITICAL CONNECTION BETWEEN THEM AND THE STATE OF GREAT BRITAIN IS, AND OUGHT TO BE TOTALLY DISSOLVED.

                 OUT OF THAT MOTION, BASED ON ACTIVE FAITH, WAS BORN THE WORLDS GREATEST NATION! OUT OF THAT MOTION WAS BORN THE SPIRIT THAT GAVE WASHINGTON'S SOLDIERS THE POWER OF WIN OVER SEEMINGLY INSURMOUNTABLE DIFFICULTIES. STUDY CAREFULLY WHAT HAPPENED AND YOU WILL SEE THAT THESE MEN DEVOTED NEARLY TWO YEARS OF HIGHLY CONCENTRATED EFFORT TO THE PREPARATION OF THEIR MINDS FOR THE PERFORMANCE, THROUGH ACTIVE  FAITH, OF A DIFFICULT AND DANGEROUS TASK.

                HILL : DESCRIBING IT AS A DIFFICULT AND DANGEROUS TASK, IS PUTTING IT MILDLY. EACH OF THOSE MEN WAS LETERALLY "STICKING HIS NECK OUT", AS THE SLANG SAYING GOES, FOR A HANGMAN'S NOOSE AS A TRAITOR TO THE CROWN.

              CARNEGIE : I HAVE TOLD YOU THIS BIT OF HISTORY BECAUSE IT IS IN A SIMILAR MANNER THAT ALL GRET LEADERS CONDITION THEIR MINDS FOR UNUSUAL TASKS. THIS IS HOW MEN ACQUIRE SELF-CONFIDENCE! THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF THE METHOD BY WHICH FAITH IS DEVELOPED THROUGH DEEDS.

             REMEMBER THE FACT THAT ACTION MUST FOLLOW THE ADOPTION OF A DEFINITE PURPOSE. WITHOUT ACTION, PLANS AND AIMS ARE FRUITLESS. THE THREE MEN WHO STARTED AMERICA ON THE ROAD TO LIBERTY AND FREEDOM MADE USE OF THE SELF-SAME PRINCIPLES OF ACHIEVEMENT THAT MUST BE USED BYT THE SUCCESSFUL LEADER IN BUSINESS IN ANY OTHER CALLING.

             IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF SELF-CONFIDENCE, AS IN ALL OTHER WORTHY UNDERTAKINGS, ONE MUST BEGIN WITH A MOTIVE BASED UPON A DEFINITE PURPOSE.             

            HILL : I BELIEVE I NOW UNDERSTAND THE PRODEDURE BY WHICH SELF-CONFIDENCE AMY BE ACQUIRED. NOW, MR. CARNEGIE, WILL YOU, FOR THE PURPOSE OF EMPHASIS, EXPLAIN HOW YOU APPLIED THESE PRINCIPLES IN THE CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT OF YOUR CAREER, WHEN YOU CONVERTED ALL YOUR HOLDINGS INTO THE UNITED STATES STEEL CORPORATION?

             CARNEGIE : FIRST, I APPLIED THE PRINCIPLE OF DEFENETENESS OF PURPOSE OF REACHING A DECISION TO CONSOLIDATE ALL MY STEEL INDUSTRIAL INTERESTS INTO ONE COMPANY AND TO SELL THE COMPANY.

               SECOND, HAVING DECIDED TO SELL, I CALLED CERTAIN MEMBERS OF MY MASTER MIND GROUP TOGETHER AND WE SPENT SEVERAL WEEKS IN ANALYSIS OF THE VALUES OF MY PROPERTIES IN ORDER THAT I MIGHT SET A FAIR BUYERS FOR THE PROPERTIES, AND ARRAGE WAYS AND MEANS OF APPROACHING PROSPECTIVE BUYERS WITHOUT PLACING OURSELVES AT A GREAT DISADVANTAGE, SINCE THE BYERS WOULD KNOW IN ADVANCE THAT WE WERE DESIROUS OF SELLING.

            THE COMPLETE PLAN REPRESENTED THE COMBINED EFFORTS OF THE MEMBERS OF MY MASTER MIND GROUP WHO SAT ON THE DISCUSSIONS, AND MYSELF, AND IT WAS SO DEVISED THAT INSTEAD OF OUR BEING IN THE POSITION OF OFFERING OUR PROPERTIES FOR SALE, WE WOULD BE APPROACHED BY THE BUYERS WITH AN OFFER TO PURCHASE THE PROPERTIES.

                 THIS WE ACCOMPLISHED WITH VERY LITTLE MANEUVERING, BY ARRANGING A DINNER IN NEW YORK CITY AT WHICH MY CHIEF MASTER MIND AID, CHARLIE SCHWAB, AND A GROUP OF WALL STREET BANKERS, WHOM WE HAD CHOSEN AS PROSPECTIVE BUYERS, WOULD BE GUESTS. MR. SCHWAB WAS TO DELIVER A SPEECH PAINTING A VIVID PICTURE OF THE GREAT POSSIBILITIES OF SUCH A CONSOLIDATION OF MY STEEL INTERESTS INTO ONE COMPANY, AS WE HAD PLANNED. THE SPEECH HAD ALL THE EARMARKS OF BEING SPONTANEOUS, AS  SCHWAB MADE IT CLEAR THAT THE PLAN HE OUTLINED COULD BE CARRIED OUT ONLY BY GAINING MY CONSENT, AND GAVE NO INDICATION THAT HE ALREADY HAD THAT.

                   THE SPEECH MADE SUCH AN IMPRESSION THAT THE MEETING LASTED INTO THE LATE HOURS OF THE NIGHT, AND BEFORE SCHWAB LEFT, THE BANKERS PRESENT AT THE MEETING, INCLUDING J.P. MORGAN, GAINED FROM HIM A PROMISE TO PLACE THE PROPOSED PLAN BEFORE ME AND TO DO WHAT HE COULD TO GAIN MY CONSENT TO IT.

                    NOT UNTIL LONG AFTER THE DEAL HAD BEEN CLOSED AND I HAD BEEN PAID OFF DID THE BANDERS LEARN THAT THE SPEECH WAS CAREFULLY PLANNED MONTHS IN ADVANCE.

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YOUR FUTURE IS DEPEND ON YOUR THOUGHTS AND WORDS

                                                THOUGHTS AND WORDS

             WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SERIOUSLY THOUGHT ABOUT THE WORS YOU USE EACH AND EVERY DAY? HOW CAREFULLY DO YOU SELECT THEM? 

               NOW, YOU MIGHT BE THINKING, 'JEFF', WHY ALL THIS FUSS ABOUT WORDS? WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE, YOUR WORDS HAVE INCREDIBLE POWER. THEY CAN BUILD A BRIGHT FUTURE, DESTROY OPPORTUNITY OR HELP MAINTAIN THE STATUS QUO. YOUR WORDS REINFORCE YOUR BELIEFS... AND YOUR BELIEFS CREATE YOUR REALITY.

                         THOUGHT* WORDS * BELIEFS * ACTIONS * RESULTS

         HERE'S HOW IT WORKS. TOM HAS A THOUGHT, SUCH AS I'M NOT VERY GOOD WHEN IT COMES TO SALES, NOW, LET'S REMEMBER THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE THIS THOUGHT ONLY ONCE. OH, NO, HE'S RUN IT THROUGH HIS MIND ON A REGULAR BASIS, MAYBE HUNDREDS OR THOUSANDS OF TIMES IN HIS LIFE!

            THEN, TOM STARTS TO USE WORDS THAT SUPPORT THIS THOUGHT. HE SAYS TO HIS FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES, I'M NEVER GOING TO DO VERY WELL IN SALES', OR I JUST HATE MAKING SALES CALLS OR APPROACHING PROSPECTS', HERE AGAIN, TOM REPEAT THESE PHRASES OVER AND OVER, IN HIS SELF-TALK AND IN HIS DISCUSSIONS WITH OTHERS.

            THIS, IN TURN, STRENGHTHENS HIS BELIEFS - AND IT'S AT THIS STAGE WHERE THE RUBBER REALLY MEETS THE ROAD. YOU SEE,EVERYTHING THAT YOU'LL ACHIEVE IN YOUR LIFE FLOWS FROM YOUR BELIEFS. SO, IN OUR SALES EXAMPLE, TOM DEVELOPS THE BELIEF THAT HE'S NOT GOING TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN SALES AND THAT HE WON'T EARN MUCH MONEY. THIS BECOMES EXBEDDED IN HIS SUBCONSCIOUS MIND.

         WHAT CAN POSSIBLY FLOW FROM THAT BELIEF? BECAUSE, TOM DOESN'T BELIEVE IN HIS SALES ABILITY, HE TAKES VERY LITTLY ACTION, OR HE TAKES ACTIONS THAT AREN'T PRODUCTIVE. HE DOESN'T DO THE THINGS THAT WOULD BE NECESSARY TO SUCCEED IN SALES.

          AND THEN, QUITE PREDICTABLY, TOM GET VERY POOR RESULTS. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, TOM THEN STARTS TO THINK MORE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS... REPEAT MORE NEGATIVE WORDS... REINFORCE NEGATIVE BELIEFS.... AND GET EVEN MORE NEGATIVE RESULTS. IT'S VICIOUS CYCLE!

           

                            OF COURSE, THIS WHOLE PROCESS COULD HAVE HAD A VERY HAPPY ENDING IF TOM HAD SELECTED POSITIVE THOUGHTS.... AND REINFORCED THEM WITH POSITIVE WORDS. IN TURN, HE'D REINFORCE THE BELIEF THAT HE'S SUCCESSFUL IN SALES. AS A RESULT, TOM WOULD TAKE ACTIONS CONSISTENT WITH THAT BELIEF... AND WIND UP WITH OUTSTANDING RESULTS.

                      MY POINT IS DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THE ROLE OF YOUR WORDS IN THIS PROCESS. PEOPLE WHO FEED THEMSELVES A STEADY DIET O NEGATIVE WORDS ARE DESTINED TO HAVE A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE. IT'S A SIMPLE MATTER OF CAUSE AND EFFECT. YOU CAN'T KEEP REPEATING NEGATIVE WORDS AND EXPECT TO BE A HIGH ACHIEVER. AND THAT'S BECAUSE NEGATIVE WORDS WILL ALWAYS LEAD TO THE REINFORCEMENT OF NEGATIVE BELIEFS- AND EVENTUALLY TO NEGATIVE OUTCOMES.

                   WHY YOU DON'T WANT ME TO FIX ANYTHING IN YOUR HOME

                  WHEN IT OMES TO HOME REPAIRS, I'M LOST. YOU WANT ME TO REPLACE A FAUCET OF FIX SOMETHING IN THE TOILET TANK? I'D HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF REACHING THE TOP OF MOUNT EVEREST. CARPENTRY OR ELECTRICAL WIRING? I HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE. YOU WANT TO KNOW MY ULTIMATE ACHILLES HEEL? IT'S THOSE INTRUCTION SHEETS THAT EXPLAIN HOW TO ASSEMBLE SOMETHING THAT YOU'VE JUST TAKEN OUT OF THE BOX. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN- THOSE BLACK AND WHITE BOOKLETS WITH REFERENCES TO "FIGURE 10A" THAT SHOW YOU (OR CLAIM OT SHOW YOU!) WHERE ALL THE NUTS AND BOLDS GO... AND HOW ALL THE PARTS FIT TOGETHER.

            INSTRUCTION SHEETS HAVE THE SAME AFFECT ON ME AS KRYPTONITE HAD ON SUPERMAN. IF YOU RECALL THE OLD SUPERMAN PROGRAMS, THE VILLAIN WOULD SHOOT BULLETS AT SUPERMAN - AND THE BULLERTS BOUNCED OFF HIS CHEST HARMLESSLY. BUT THERE WAS ONE SUBSTANCE THAT SUPERMAN COULD NOT DEFEND AGAINST - KRYPONITE. WHENEVER THE BAD GUY HELD UP A PIECE OF KRYTONITE, SUPERMAN GOT WOBBY AND BEGAN TO LOSE HIS POWER.

            WELL, WHEN I SEE AN INSTRUCTION SHEET, I GET WEAK IN THE KNEES AND LOSE MY POWER, I KUST KNOW IT'S USELESS FOR ME TO EVEN LOOK AT IT. THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING TO UNDERSTAND IT. SO I PUT DOWN THE INTRUCTIONS AND YELL FOR DOLORES TO COME IN AND SHOW ME WHAT TO DO, FOR DOLORES, IT'S A PIECE OF CAKE.

         HOW DID IT COME TO THIS? I DON'T CLAIM TO BE THE SMARTEST GUY IN THE WORLD, BUT I CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE REASONABLY INTELLIGENT. AM I MISSING SOME GENE FOR HOME REPAIR SKILLS THAT OTHER PEOPLE WERE GIVEN? NO, THAT'S NO IT, EITHER.

          THE ANSWER IS QUITE OBVIOUS. FOR THE LAST 40 YEARS, I HAVE REPEATEDLY SAID, I'M NO GOOD AT MECHANICAL THINGS, AND I CAN'T FIX ANYTHING, AND  LO AND BEHOLD AFTER 40 YEARS OF USING NEGATIVE WORDS, I'VE DEVELOPED A STRONG BELIEF THAT I CAN'T DO THESE THINGS.

           DO  YOU SEE HOW I CREATED THIS SITUATION BY NOT BEING CAREFUL ABOUT THE WORDS I USED? AND, THE TRUTH IS I COULD EVENTUALLY REVERSE THIS TIRED IF I'D USING POSITIVE WORDS ABOUT MY ABILITY TO MEK REPAIRS.

SCIENTIST'S WORDS ARE WORTH LOOKING AT

 

                      YEARS AGO, I READ AN ARTICLE ABOUT KENT CULLERS, A SCIENTIST WHO HEADED NASA'S SEARCH FOR EXTRA TERRESTRIAL INTELLIGENCE PROJECT. CULLERS, WHO HAS A DOCTORATE IN PHYSICS, WAS DEVELOPING SOFTWARE THAT SEARCHES FOR RADIO SIGNALS INDICATING THE PRESENCE OF OTHER LIFE FORMS IN THE UNIVERSE.

                 SOUNDS A LITTEL LIKE STAR TREK, DOESN'T IT? BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT, THIS IS SOM PRETTY TECHNICAL SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH.

                 AND YET,CULLERS HAS A PHYSICAL CHALLENGE TO CONTEND WITH. LET ME TELL YOU HOW HE DESCRIBES IT. HE REFERS TO HIS CONDITION AS A TRIVIAL AFFLICTION, AND JUST BARELY AN INCONVENIENCE, WHAT IS CULLERS PARTICULAR PHYSICAL CHALLENGE? A TOUCH OF ARTHRITIS? OR AN OCCASIONAL MIGRAINE HEADACHE?

               KENT CULLERS IN BLIND. THAT'S RIGHT, HE'S BLIND ISN'T IT INCREDIBLE THAT SOMEONE CAN DESCRIBE BLINDNESS AS A TRIVIAL AFFLICTION, OR JUST BARELY AN INCONVINENIENCE?

           BY USING THESE WORDS, KENT CULLERS IS EMPOWERING HIMSELF TO ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS. HE DOESN'T GIVE ANY POWER TO HIS LIMITATIONS AND, AS A RESULT, HE IS ABLE TO TRASCEND THEM AND ACCOMPLISH MORE THAN THOSE WHO HAVE THEIR SIGHT.

         WHAT OBSTACLES ARE YOU FACING IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW? IMAGINE THE POWER YOU COULD UNLESS IF YOU SAW THEM AS "JUST BARELY AN INCONVENIENCE" INSTEAD OF AS AN INSURMOUNTABLE BARRIER.

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SPOUSE, SIBLINGS AND FRIENDS

                                            WHERE IS IN OUR HAPPINESS

                                                               SPOUSE

                  WHILE WE ALL ARE INDIVIDUAL SOULS, ONCE YOU ARE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIED, YOUR SPOUSE HOLDS THE HIGHEST PRIORITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP LIST-IT WILL CLASH WITH YOUR OTHER RELATIONSHIPS OCCASIONALLY BUT THEIR IS NOT THE POINT. THE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER HERE IS THAT YOU CAN MAKE YOUR  LIE A HEAVEN BY CULTIVATING A RICH AND STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE.

              THERE COULD BE AN ENTIRE BOOK ON THIS SUBJECT BUT FOR NOW, LET US TOUCH UPON CERTAIN CRITICAL ELEMENTS. I URGE YOU TO CHECK YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE RIGHT NOW BY ASKING THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS.

            1. DO YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE FEEL HAPPY WHEN YOU ARE TOGETHER?

            2. WHEN DID YOU LASY SAY 'I LOVE YOU' TO YOUR SPOUSE?

            3. DO YOU MISS EACH OTHER WHEN YOU ARE NOT TOGETHER?

            4. ARE YOU CONSTANTLY LOOKING FORWARD TO SPENDING AN EXCLUSIVE DAY WITH EATH OTHER?

            5. IS YOUR SPOUSE ON YOUR MIND WHEN YOU COMMIT TIME TO SOMEONE ELSE, WHICH CLASHES WITH YOUR BEING TOGETHER?

           6. ARE YOU CONSCIOUS OF THE WAY YOU TREAT YOUR SPOUSE IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS OR ANYBODY ELSE?

          7. DO YOU STILL MAKE YOUR SPOUSE FEEL SPECIAL EVERY NOW AND THEM?

          8. IF YOU, LIKE ME, DO NOT KNOW WHAT GIFT TO PICK, DO YOU AT LEAST DO SOMETHING THAT PLEASES YOUR SPOUSE LIKE TEXTING HER A FEW WORDS WHEN YOU ARE AWAY OR WHISPERING THOSE ENCOURAGING WORDS SHE NEES FROM NO ONE IN THE WORLD EXCEPT YOU?

              THE LIST CAN GO ON BUT I KNOW YOU MUST HAVE GO THE POINT BY NOW.

              MY WIFE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME-NO MATTER HOW BUSY OR OCCUPIED I MIGHT BE, I CONSTANTLY LOOK FORWARD TO GETTING BACK TO MY NEST WITH HER. HER FEW ENCOURAGING WORDS CAN PUMP ME UP, AND I NEED NOTHING ELSE. SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHEN TO TAP ME, WHEN TO HUG ME, WHEN TO GIVE ME SPACE, AND WHEN TO BECOME MY FRIEND/PHILOSOPHER/GUIDE. SHE IS THE EPITOME OF BEING NON-JUDGEMENTAL OF ME.

             IN THIS CURRENT PHASE OF MY LIFE. I SPEND MY WEEK ON WORK ASSIGNMENTS IN A NEIGHBOURING CITY AND RETURN TO MY HOME TOWN DURING THE WEEKEND OR HOLIDAYS. THIS PHASE HAS ADDED AN EXTRA DOSE OF ROMANCE IN OUR LIVES- IT'S LIKE WE ARE DATING EACH OTHER ALL OVER AGAIN. WE LOOK FORWARD TO OUR WEEKEND MEETINGS. SHE THINKS SO MUCH ABOUT MY WELLBEING AND TAKES CARE OF EVERY LITTLE THING THAT I MIGHT NEED DURING MY WEEKDAYS - BE IT FOOD, CLOTHES, OR OTHER THINGS I MIGHT NEED. APART FROM THIS, WE ALSO TALK SEVERAL TIMES A DAY.

             WHILE I HAVE SPECIFIED, 'SPOUSE' HERE, I AM AWARE THAT WE LIVE IN MODERN TIMES, AND SOME OF YOU WHO ARE MUCH YOUNGER MAY HAVE DIFFERENT TERM BASED ON YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. YOU CAN REPLACE THE TERM WITH BOY OR GIRL FRIEND, LIVE-IN-RELATIONSHIP PARTNER, WOULD-BE SPOUSE ETC. IN SHORT, I AM REFERRING TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PERSON YOU INTEND TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH.

              THE ABOVE ARE CHECKPOINTS TO DETERMINE THE STATE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP AT THE MOMENT - I AM NOT GOING TO FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIP - IT IS ONLY FOR YOU TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE CURRENTLY, CONSIDER IT CAREFULLY, AND MAKE ANY CHANGES/ CORRECTION IF REQUIRED.

                                                                        SIBLINGS

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                TEAM SPIRIT, SHARING, THE FEELING OF BELONGINGNESS, INNOCENCE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, AND OTHER IMPORTANT ASPECTS OF LIFE ARE LEARNT IN ONE'S EARLY DAYS. I AM SURE THAT ALL OF US WHO ARE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE SIBLINGS KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. FOR THOSE WHO ARE ONLY CHILDREN, YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THESE ELEMENTS IN THE SIBLINGS OF YOUR NEAR AND DEAR ONES.

               I HAVE SEEN THIS IN MY OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH MY TWO SISTERS AND IN MY DAUGHTER AND SON. SIBLINGS PROVIDE UNSPOKEN AND UNCONDITIONAL MENTAL SHELTER TO EACH OTHER. THEY KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSEHOLD FROM A VERY TENDER AGE, AND EVEN THOUGH THEY FIGHT CONSTANTLY FOR LITTLE THINGS, THEY CLEVERLY TEAM UP WHEN IT COMES TO CERTAIN OTHER THINGS. FOR INSTANCE, PROTESTING TO THEIR PARENTS ABOUT SOMETHING THE DON'T AGREE UPON, WHEN AN OUTSIDER WRONGS ONE OF THEM, OR SIMPLY WHEN THEY SEE THAT THE SIBLING IS LEFT OUT OF SOMTHING.

              RIGHT FROM SHARING OR NOT SHARING LITTLE TOYS, EATING FROM EACH OTHER'S PLATE, KEEPING QUIET ABOUT SOME HOUSEHOLD SECRET THEY DISCOVERED, TO FIGURING OUT HOW TO CHANGE THEIR PARENT'S MOODS - THEY LEARN THESE AT A VERY EARLY AGE IN AN UNSTRUCTURED WAY. THIS EVENTUALLY MAKES THEM STRONGER AND MORE CARING INDIVIDUALS READY TO TAKE ON WORDLY FIGHTS LATER ON.

                 IF, FOR ANY REASON, YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR BROTHER AND / OR SISTER IS NOT GOOD AT THE MOMENT, WASTE NO FURTHER TIME AND JUST CATCH UP WITH HIM AND / OR HER RIGHT AWAY. I CAN ASSURE YOU THE BAGGAGE OF A SOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR SIBLINGS IS HEAVIER THAN THE TEMPORARY DISCOMFORT YOU MIGHT FACE IN RECONNECTING. IT WILL DEFINITELY BE WORTH IT- DO NOT LOOK AND THINK BEYOND THIS POINT, JUST DO IT.

                ONCE DONE, YOU WILL FEEL TRANSFORMED, STRONG, AND READY TO FIGHT WORLDLY BATTLES WITH BETTER CONVICTION. FEEL FREE TO WRITE TO ME IF YOU HAVE DONE THIS AND BENEFIETED FROM IT.

                                                                            FRIENDS

                         MY FAMILY WILL BE QUITE SURPRISED TO SEE ME WRITING ABOUT FRIENDS AS THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN ME SPENDING TIME WITH FRIENDS. INFACT, THEY EVEN WONDER IF I HAVE ANY FRIENDS AT ALL. SO. LET ME CLARIFY HERE THAT FRIENDS ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE WITH WHOM YOU SPEND TIME, EAT WITH FREQUENTLY, OR GO OUT WITH EVERY NOW AND THEN.  IF YOU ARE ABLE TO DO THAT, THEN GREAT! HOWEVER, THESE ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE QUALIFYING CRITERIA FOR  GOOD FRIENDSHIP.

                    FRIENDS ARE THOSE WITH WHOM YOU FEEL INSTANTLY  AT HOME, POUT YOUR HEART OUT, SAY ANYTHING WITHOUT BEING JUDGED, AND COMPLETELY BE YOURSELF. YOU GET THAT MUCHNEEDED ENCOURAGEMENT FOR YOUR NEW VENTURES WHEN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS BENT UPON ADVISING YOU TO NOT GET INTO IT. IT IS ONLY TRUE FRIEND WHO ENCOURAGES YOU TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART, IMPORTANT TO YOU HAVE ENDORSED YOUR MOVE.

                 AS FOR ME, I HAVE JUST THREE FRIENDS-MY NEIGHBOURS AND SCHOOL BUDDIES. WE HARDLY MEET- I LOST ONE OF THEM RECENTLY (GOD BLESS HIS SOUL), AND TWO OF THEM LIVE IN DIFFERENT CITIES AND COUNTRIES - BUT, WHENEVER WE DO MEET AND TALK, WE INSTANTLY CONNECT. NOBODY ELSE CAN UNDERSTAND OUR RELATIONSHIP BUT WE KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO US.

             I AM EXTREMELY PASSIONATE ABOUT MY PROFESSIONAL WORK - IN THE LAST THIRTY YEARS OF WORK  EXPERIENCE, I HAVE WORKED  WITH MULTIPLE TEAMS, BUILT SEVERAL TEAMS, CONDUCTED A NUMBER OF TRAINING PROGRAMMES, FORMED STRATEGIES, AND SUCCEEDED TOGETHER WITH THEM.

           WHAT FOR OTHERS IS A PART OF THEIR WORK IS A MATTER OF ACTUALLY DEVELOPING AND NUTURING FRIENDSHIPS FOR ME. IN THIS WAY, I HAVE DEVELOPED FRIENDSHIPS FOR ME. IN THIS WAY. I HAVE DEVELOPED FRIENDSHIPS WITH THE HUNDREDS OF PROFESSIONALS WITH WHOM. I HAVE WORKED IN THE LAST THIRTY YEARS. WITH EVERY INDIVIDUAL I MEET, WE INSTANTLY CONNECT, RESPECT EACH OTHER FOR WHO WE ARE, AND FORM A SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP THAT HELPS US LEARN FROM EACH OTHER.

             IF YOU LOVE SHARING WITHOUT ANY EXPECTATIONS, I ASSURE YOU THAT YOU WILL BE SURROUDED BY PLENTY OF FRIENDS, AND IT WILL ENSURE THAT EXTRA DOSE OF ENZYMES TO BOOST YOUR HAPPINESS AND FEELING OF SATISFACTION.  GO FOR IT - JUST SELFLESSLY SPEND TIME WITH YOUR FRIEND, LEND YOUR EARS TO YOUR FRIEND WITHOUT PROVIDING YOUR "EXPERT" ADVICE, ENCOURAGE THEM IN WHAT THEY ARE DOING, AND SECRETLY PRAY FOR THEM. YOU ARE OPERATING UNDER A UNIVERSAL LAW, AND YOUR GOOD DEEDS WILL DEFINITELY RETURN TO YOU IN PLENTY.

 

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GAYATRI MANTRA STEP SIXTEEN AND SEVENTEEN

                                          STEP SIXTEEN AND SEVENTEEN

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            THIS IS THE ONE STEP THAT'S PERFORMED ONLY ON THE FIRST DAY AND IS NOT REPEATED ON ANY OTHER DAY THROUGHOUT YOUR SADHANA. NOW, WE TAKE A SANKALPA, A VOW. WHEN YOU TAKE A SANKALPA, YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT WITH THE UNIVERSE THAT YOU ARE UNDERTAKING A CERTAIN PRACTICE WITH A PARTICULAR INTENTION. THIS IS DONE ONLY ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE PURUSHCHARANA.

              WHEN YOU TAKE A VOW AND FULFILL IT, IT BOOTS YOUR WILLPOWER. TO TAKE A SANKALPA, JUST POUR A LITTLE WATER FROM YOUR VESSEL INTO YOUR RIGHT PALM.IF YOU HAVE A FLOWER, PUT THE FLOWER WITH IT, A BIT OF RICE IF YOU HAVE IT - IF YOU DON'T HAVE RICE, NO PROBLEM. WITH YOUR UTMOST SENTIMENT, SAY TO THE DIVINE. I SUCH-AND-SUCH PERSON (IF YOUR GURU HAS GIVEN YOU A NAME, THIS IS THE MOMENT TO USE THAT IS THE MOMENT TO USE THAT NAME, BECAUSE THAT WILL IDENTIFY YOU WITH THE LINEAGE TO WHICH YOU BELONG), AM TAKING A VOW OF CHANTING"X" NUMBER OF MANTRAS OVER THE NEXT "N" NUMBER OF DAYS. I'M DOING THIS FOR THE GRACE OF VEDMATA GAYATRI".

              OR, IF YOU HAVE TAKEN A SANKALPA OF CHANTING LET'S SAY, ONE HOUR EVERY DAY OR 50 MINUTES EVERY DAY, THEN YOU WILL SAY, "I, SO-AND-SO, WILL CHANT THE GAYATRI MANTRA FOR "X" MINUTES/HOURS EVERY DAY FOR THE NEXT "N" NUMBER OF DAYS. I'M  DOING THIS FOR THE GRACE OF VEDMATA GAYATRI"

             YOUR SANKALPA MAY BE THAT, "I WILL CHANT THE MANTRA OF VEDMATA GAYATRI OF THE GAYATRI MANTRA "X" NUMBER OF TIMES, OVER THE NEXT "Y" NUMBER OF DAYS. AND I AM DOING DO BECAUSE I WANT "Z". THE BST THING TO SAY IS "I AM DOING SO FOR DEVI'S GRACE, BECAUSE IN THE BEGINNING , YOU SHOULD ACCUMULATE THE ENERGY OF THE MANTRA. DON'T SAY, "I AM DOING IT BECAUSE I WANT TO WIN THE LOTTO", OR WHATEVER. ACCUMULATE THE ENERGY, BECAUSE ONCE YOU HAVE ENOUGH, YOU CAN DO KAMYA PRAYAGA-YOU CAN ACTUALLY USE IT FOR APPLICATION.

                  WHEN YOU VIOLATE YOUR SANKALPA, YOUR SADHANA IS COMPROMISED AND YOU MUST EITHER START FROM THE BEGINNING OR SEEK A REMEDIAL MEASURE FROM YOUR GURU. FOR EXAMPLE, IF IN YOUR SANKALPA, YOU STATE THAT YOU WILL CHANT 4000 MANTRAS EVERY DAY FOR THE NEXT 40 DAYS BUT YOU MISS ONE DAY OR CHANT LESS ONE DAY, THIS COMPROMISES YOUR SADHANA. YOU MUST RESET THE COUNTER AND START ALL OVER AGAIN.

                TO DO THE SANKALPA, SIMPLY TAKE WATER IN YOUR RIGHT PALM, PUT A FEW GRAINS OF RICE AND A FLOWER AND SAY IT IN ANY LANGUAGE YOU KNOW.M FILL IN THE BLANKS:

             I......... (YOUR FULL NAME).... BORN IN...... (STATE YOUR GOTRA. IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR GOTRA, SIMPLY SAY NARAYANA GOTRA FOR EVERYONE IS CHILD OF THE DIVINE).... ON.... (STATE YOUR DATE OF BIRTH) HEREBY VOW TO DO A PURUSHCHARANA OF ..... (THE NAME OF YOUR MANTRA LIKE GAYATRI, SRI SUKTAM, GURU MANTRA, ETC, )..... OVER THE NEXT....(STATE THE NUMBER OF DAYS YOU'LL BE CHANTING THE MANTRA OVER, FOR EXAMPLE, 40,90,100,300, AND SO ON) DAYS .... SO I MAY BECOME A WORTHY RECIPENT OF YOUR GRACE AND ATTAIN THE DESIRED OUTCOME.

           AFTER YOU HAVE MADE YOUR SANKALPA, KEEP THE WATER THAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR PALM, WITH YOUR FLOWER AND RICE, IN A SMALL PLATE IN FRONT OF YOU AND ON THAT VERY DAY POUR IT ON THE BASE OF ANY TREE OR PLAT. AS I HAVE WRITTEN, AVOID CACTUS- ALL OTHER PLANTS ARE FINE.    

                                                                  STEP SEVENTEEN

                       MANTRA SHVASA IS VERY SIMPLE, YOU BREATHE IN WHILE YOU ARE CHANTING YOUR MANTRA,M AND YOU BREATHE OUT WHIL CHANTING, ON THE FIRST DAY, I RECOMMAND DOING 21 TIMES IN THE CASE OF DOING THE SMALL INVOCATION, I ROUND IF YOU ARE DOING THE STANDARD INVOCATION, 3 ROUNDS IF YOU HAPPEN TO PERFORM THE EXTRAORDINARY INVOCATION AND 7 ROUNDS IN CASE YOU ARE DOING THE GRAND INVOCATION. REMEMBER THAT ONE ROUND IS 108 TIMES. THAT'S NOT CHANTING THREE TIMES - IT'S THESE ROUNDS.

                 ON ALL SUBSEQUENT DAYS, DO ONLY 3,11,21,OR 31 TIMES FOR SMALL, STANDARD, EXTRAORDINARY AND GRAND INVOCATIONS RESPECTIVELY.

                 WHILE INHALTING, YOU OBVIOUSLY CANNOT CHANT ALOUD. WHEN YOU ARE INHALING, YOU CAN DO ONE CHANT AND WHILE EXHALING YOU CAN CHANT AS WELL. THIS IS CALLED MANTRA SHVASA. THE COUNTING MENTINED IN THE EARLIER PARAGRAPH IS NOT P SHVASA BUT PER CHANT. SO 7 TIMES MEANS 4 EXHALATIONS AND 3 INHALATIONS. ONE EXHALATION IS EXTRA BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS START WITH EXHALATION.

               IT IS POSSIBLE TO DO AN ENTIRE SADHANA ON JUST MANTRA SHVASA. IF YOU ARE USED TO MANTRA SHVASA, OR LET'S SAY, ALL YOU WISH TO DO IN YOUR SADHANA IS MANTRA SHVASA, THEN YOU TAKE A VOW LIKE, FOR THE NEXT "X" DAYS I AM GOING TO DO MANTRA SHVASA, "Y" ROUNDS EVERY DAY". YOU COULD BE PRACTICING IT WHILE WALKING, COMMUTING OR DOING ANY OTHER ACTIVITY WHERE YOU MAY DO IT WITH MINDFULNESS. MANTRA SHVASA IS A VERY EFFECTIVE PRACTICE, BECAUSE YOU ARE CHANTING YOUR MANTRA IN YOUR DAILY LIFE. THE MORE YOU CHANT WITH FEELING, THE MORE ENERGY YOU ACCUMULATE. BEAR IN MIND THAT IT'S LIKE DOING SHIFT WORK, THE MORE SHIFTS YOU WORK, THE MORE MONEY YOU MAKE. IT WILL TIRE  YOU OUT, BUT YOU WILL GET USED TO MANTRA SHVASA AND YOU WILL CONTINUE TO ACCUMULATE ENERGY.

                                  

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