MOTIVATING AND DEMOTIVATING EFFECTS

                                                            MOTIVATORS

               WHAT WE REALLY WANT TO ACCOMPLISH IS SELF-MOTIVATION, WHEN PEOPLE DO THINGS FOR THEIR REASONS AND NOT YOURS. THAT IS LASTING MOTIVATION.

             REMEMBER THE GREATEST MOTIVATOR IS BELIEF. WE HAVE TO INCULCATE FOR OUR ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR. WHEN PEOPLE ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY, EVERYTHING IMPROVES, QUALITY, PRODUCTIVITY, RELATIONSHIPS AND TEAMWORK.

                                           A FEW STEPS TO MOTIVATE OTHERS:

                 👀 GIVE RECOGNITION

                👀 GIVE RESPECT

                👀 BE A GOOD LISTENER

                👀 ENCOURAGE GOAL SETTING

                👀 PROVIDE OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH

                👀 PROVIDE TRAINING

                👀 THROW A CHALLENGE

                👀 HELP, BUT DON'T DO FOR OTHERS WHAT THEY SHOULD DO FOR                                                THEMSELVES

                                                                    CONCLUSION

                             

             PEOPLE DO THINGS FOR THEIR OWN REASONS, NOT YOURS. THIS IS ILLUSTRATED BY A STORY ABOUT RALPH WALDO EMERSON. HE AND HIS SON ONCE WERE STRUGGLING TO GET A CALF INTO THE BARN. BOTH FATHER AND SON WERE EXHAUSED, PULLING AND PUSHING. A LITTLE GIRL WAS PASSING BY. SHE PUT HER LITTLE FINGER INTO THE CALF'S MOUTH, ALLOWING IT TO SUCK, AND THE CALF LOVINGLY FOLLOWED HER TO THE BARN.

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                                                    MOTIVATED INEFFECTIVE

                   WHEN IS AN EMPLOYEE MOST MOTIVATED IN THE CYCLE OF EMPLOYMENT? WHEN HE JOINS AN ORGANIZATION. WHY? BECAUSE HE WANTS TO PROVE THAT BY HIRING HIM. THE EMPLOYER MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. HE IS MOTIVATED BUT BECAUSE HE IS NEW TO THE ENVIRONMENT. BUT HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO, SO HE IS INEFFECTIVE.

                THIS IS THE STAGE WHEN THE EMPLOYEE IS MOST OPENMINDED, RECETIVE AND EASY TO MOLD TO  THE CULTURE OF THE ORGANIZATION. TRAINING AND ORIENTATION BECOME IMPERATIVE.

                UNPROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATIONS HAVE NO, OR VERY POOR, ORIENTATION PROGRAMS. THE FIRST DAY AT THE JOB, THE SUPERVISOR SHOWS THE NEW EMPLOYEE HIS PLACE OF WORK AND TELLS HIM WHAT TO DO THE LEAVES. HE TEACHES ALL THE BAD ALONGWITH THE GOOD THAT HE IS DOING. THE NEW EMPLOYEE QUICKLY LEARNS ALL THE MISTAKES THE SUPERVISOR IS MAKING BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HE HAS BEEN TAUGHT. THE ORGANISATION LOSES THE OPPORTUNITY TO MOLD THE INDIVIDUAL TO ITS CULTURE.

                 PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATIONS ON THE OTHER HAND, TAKE SPECIAL CARE TO INDUCT PEOPLE THEIR ORGANIZATIONS. THEY EXPLAIN TO THEM, AMONG OTHER THINGS, THE FOLLOWING:

                     

                               ❤ THE HIERARCHY

                              ❤ EXPECTATIONS OF EACH OTHER

                              ❤ DO'S AND DONT'S

                              ❤ PARAMETERS AND GUIDELINES

                              ❤ WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE AND WHAT IS NOT

                              ❤ THE RESOURCES 

                  HOW CAN ONE EXPECT PERFORMANCE UNLESS EXPECTATIONS ARE MADE CLEAR UP FRONT?  IF INDUCTION AND ORIENTATION ARE DONE WELL, MANY POTENTIAL PROBLEMS WOULD NOT SURFACE AT ALL.

                                                           DEMOTIVATED EFFECTIVE

                AFTER SOME TIME THE MOTIVATION LEVEL GOES DOWN AND THE EMPLOYEES STARTS LEARNING THE TRICKS OF THE TRADE. THIS IS THE STAGE WHEN THE EMPLOYEE IS NOT MOTIVATED. HE CONTINUES DOING JUST ENOUGH SO THAT THE EMPLOYER HAS NO REASON TO FIRE HIM BUT HE IS REALLY NOT MOTIVATED.

                 THIS STAGE IS DETRIMENTAL TO GROWTH-MOST PEOPLE IN ORGANIZATIONS FALL INTO THIS THIRD STAGE. A MOTIVATED PROFESSIONAL LEARNS THE TRADE AND LEAVES THE TRICKS TO CHEATS AND CROOKS, BUT A DEMOTIVATED EMPLOYEES STARTS SABOTAGING THE COMPANY. HIS PERFORMANCE IS MARGINAL. HE MAKES FUN OF THE GOOD PERFORMANCE IS MARGINAL. HE MAKES FUN OF THE GOOD PERFORMERS. HE REJECTS NEW IDEAS AND SPREADS THE NEGATIVITY ALL AROUND.

               OUR OBJECTIVES IS TO BRING THEM BACK TO THE SECOND STAGE OF MOTIVATED EFFECTIVE THROUGH TRAINING. AN EMPLOYEE OUGHT NOT TO SAY IN THE THIRD STAGE TOO LONG, BECAUSE FROM HERE EITHER MAY MOVE BACK TO THE SECOND STAGE, WHICH IS BEING MOTIVATED AND EFFECTIVE, OR THEY MOVE INTO THE FOURTH STAGE.

                                                        DEMOTIVATED INEFFECTIVE

                    AT THIS STAGE, THE EMPLOYER DOES NOT HAVE MUCH CHOICE BUT TO FIRE THE EMPLOYEE, WHICH MAY BE THE MOST APPROPRIATE THING TO DO ANYWAY AT THIS POINT.

                 REMEMBER EMPLOYEES WANT THE SAME THING AS EMPLOYEES DO. THEY WANT TO SUCCEED AND IMPROVE BUSINESS, AND IF EMPLOYEES HELP IN THIS OBJECTIVE, THEN THEY MAKE THEMSELVES VALUABLE AND ACHIEVE THEIR WON SUCCESS.

                                                      DEMOTIVATING FACTORS

                      WHY DO PEOPLE MOVE FROM INITIALLY MOTIVATED STAGE TO DEMOTIVATED? SOME OF THE DEMOTIVATING FACTORS ARE:

                  

                                 👀 UNFAIR CRITICISM

                                 👀 NEGATIVE CRITICISM

                                 👀 PUBLIC HUMILIATION

                                 👀 REWARDING THE NON-PERFORMERS(WHICH CAN BE                                                                     DEMOTIVATING FOR THE PERFORMERS)

                                 👀 FAILURE OR FEAR OF FAILURE

                                 👀 SUCCESS (WHICH LEADS TO COMPLACENCE)

                                 👀 LACK OF DIRECTION

                                 👀 LACK OF MEASURABLE OBJECTIVES

                                 👀 LOW SELF-ESTEEM

                                 👀 LACK OF PRIORITIES

                                 👀 NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

                                 👀 OFFICE POLITICS

                                 👀 UNFAIR POLITICS

                                 👀 UNFAIR TREATMENT

                                 👀 HYPOCRISY

                                 👀 POOR STANDARDS

                                 👀 FREQUENT CHANGE

                                 👀 RESPONSIBILITY WITHOUT AUTHORITY

                             A SATISFIED PERSON IS NOT NECESSARILY A MOTIVATED PERSON. SOME PEOPLE ARE SATISFIED WITH VERY LITTLE. IN THIS CASE, SATISFACTION MAY LEAD TO COMPLACENCE. MOTIVATION COMES FROM EXCITEMENT AND EXCITEMENT DOES NOT COME UNLES THERE IS FULL COMMITMENT.

                                  NEW METHODS OF MOTIVATION WILL NOT WORK TILL THE DEMOTIVATING FACTORS ARE REMOVED. MANY TIMES, JUST REMOVING THE DEMOTIVATING FACTORS CAN SPARK MOTIVATION.

                                                                        ❤❤❤❤❤

                       

 

GIVE APPRECIATION

                                               GIVE HONEST APPRECIATION

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              THE PSYCHOLOGIST WILLIAM JAMES SAID, ONE OF THE DEEPEST DESIRES OF HUMAN BEINGS IS THE DESIRE TO BE APPRECIATED. THE FEELING OF BEING UNWANTED IS HURTFUL. 

              EXPENSIVE JEWELS ARE NOT REAL GIFT THEY ARE APOLOGIES FOR SHRTCOMINGS. MANY TIMES WE BUY GIFTS FOR PEOPLE TO COMPENSATE FOR NOT SPEDING ENOUGH TIME WITH THEM. REAL GIFTS ARE WHEN YOU GIVE A PART OF YOURLSELF.

               SINCERE APPRECIATION IS ONE OF THE GREATEST GIFTS ONE CAN GIVE TO ANOTHER PERSON. IT MAKES A PERSON FEEL IMPORTANT. THE DESIRE TO FEEL IMPORTANT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST CRAVINGS IN MOST HUMAN BEINGS. IT CAN BE A GREAT MOTIVATOR.

THE TRUST RELATIONSHIPS

                                                                         TRUST 

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                   ALL RELATIONSHIP ARE TRUST RELATIONSHIPS. RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN EMPLOYER AND EMPLOYEE, PARENT AND CHILD, HUSBAND AND WIFE, STUDENT AND TEACHER, BUYER AND SELLLER, AND CUSTOMER AND SALESPERSON ARE ALL TRUST RELATIONSHIPS. HOW CAN WE HAVE TRUS WITHOUT INTEGRITY? CRISIS IN TRUST REALLY MEANS CRISIS IN TRUTH. TRUST RESULTS FROM BEING TRUSTWORTHY.

                WHAT ARE THE FACTORS THAT BUILD TRUST?

             👀 RELIABILITY - GIVES PREDICTABILITY AND COMES FROM COMMITMENT.

             👀 CONSISTENCY- BUILDS CONFIDENCE.

             👀 RESPECT - TO SELF AND OTHERS GIVES DIGNITY AND SHOWS A CARING ATTITUDE.

             👀 FAIRNESS - APPEALS TO JUSTICE AND INTEGRITY.

             👀 OPENNESS - SHOWS A WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN AND SHARE YOUR VIEWS.

            👀 CONGRUENCE - ACTION AND WORDS HARMONIZE. IF A PERSON SAYS ONE THING AND BEHAVES DIFFERENTLY, HOW CAN YOU TRUST THAT PERSON?

           👀 COMPETENCE - COMES WHEN A PERSON HAS THE ABILITY AND THE ATTITUDE TO SERVE.

           👀 INTEGRITY - INSPITE OF OUR EFFORT TO IMPROVE WE NEED TO ACCEPT EACH OTHER WITH OUR PLUSES AND MINUSES.

           👀 CHARACTER - A PERSON MAY HAVE ALL THE COMPETENCE BUT IF HE LACKS CHARACTER HE CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

            👀 COURAGE - A PERSON WHO LACKS COURAGE WILL LET YOU DOWN IN A CRISIS.

                       TRUST IS MANY WAYS IS A MUCH GREATER COMPLIMENT THAN LOVE. THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WE LOVE BUT WE CAN'T TRUST THEM. RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE BANK ACCOUNTS. THE MORE WE DEPOSIT, THE LARGER THEY BECOME, THEREFORE, THE MORE WE CAN DRAW FROM THEM. HOWEVER, IF YOU TRY TO DRAW WITHOUT DEPOSITING, IT LEADS TO DISAPPOINTMENT. 

                     MANY TIMES WE FEEL WE ARE OVERDRAWN BUT, IN REALITY, WE MAY BE UNDER-DEPOSITED.

                      BELOW ARE SOME OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF POOR RELATIONSHIPS AND THE LACK OF TRUST.

                    👀 STRESS                                                           👀 POOR HEALTH

                   👀 LACK OF COMMUNICATION                     👀 DISTRUST

                   👀 IRRITATION                                                    👀 ANGER

                   👀 CLOSEMINDEDNESS                                   👀 PREJUDICE

                   👀 NO TEAM SPIRIT                                          👀 BREAKDOWN OF MORALE

                   👀 LACK OF CREDIBILITY                              👀 UNCOOPERATIVE BEHAVIOR

                   👀 POOR SELF-ESTEEM                                   👀 CONFLICT

                   👀 SUSPICION                                                    👀 FRUSTRATION

                   👀 LOSS OF PRODUCTIVITY                           👀 UNHAPPINESS

                   👀 ISOLATION 

                                  YOUR CONSCIOUS AND SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

             THE CONSCIOUS MIND HAS THE ABILITY TO THINK. IT CAN ACCEPT OR REJECT. BUT THE SUBCONSCIOUS ONLY ACCEPTS. IT MAKES NO DISTINCTION REGARDING INPUT. IF WE FEED OUR MIND WITH THOUGHTS OF FEAR, DOUBT AND HATE, THE AUTO-SUGGESTIONS WILL ACTIVATE AND TRANSLATE THOSE THINGS INTO REALITY. THE SUBCONSCIOUS IS LIKE A DATABANK. THE SUBCONSCIOUS IS LIKE THE AUTOMOBILE WHILE THE CONSCIOUS IS LIKE THE DRIVER. OF THE TWO, THE SUBCONSCIOUS IS MOR POWERFUL. THE POWER IS IN THE AUTOMOBILE BUT THE CONTROL IS WITH THE DRIVER. 

               THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND CAN WORK FOR US OR AGAINST US. IT IS NOT RATIONAL. IF WE ARE NOT SUCCESSFUL, WE NEED TO REPROGRAM THE SUBCONSCIOUS.

                 THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND IS LIKE A GARDEN, IT DOESN'T CARE WHAT WE PLANT. IT IS NEUTRAL, IT HAS NO PREFERENCES. IF WE PLANT GOOD SEEDS, WE WILL HAVE A GOOD GARDEN, OTHERWISE, WE WILL HAVE A WILD GROWTH OF WEEDS, I'D GO A STEP FURTHER TO SAY, EVEN WHEN WE PLANT GOOD SEEDS, WEEDS STILL GROW AND THE WEDDING PROCESS MUST CONTINUE CONSTANTLY.

                    THE HUMAN MIND IS NO DIFFERENT. POSITIVE AND NEGATIVVE THOUGHTS CAN'T OCCUPY THE MIND SIMULTANEOUSLY.

                    IN ORDER TO SUCCEED, WE NEED TO GET PROGRAMMED IN A POSITIVE WAY.

                                                   RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

                  WHEN PEOPLE RECOGNIZE OR BECOME AWARE OF THEIR NEGATIVE HABITS, WHY DON'T THEY CHANGE?

                   THE REASON THEY DON'T CHANGE IS BECAUSE THE REFUSE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY. THE PLEASURE OF CONTINUING IS GREATER THAN THE PAIN. THEY MAY:

                   👀 LACK THE DESIRE TO CHANGE

                   👀LACK THE DISCIPLINE TO CHANGE

                   👀 LACK THE BELIEF THAT THEY CAN CHANGE

                   👀 LACK THE AWARENESS FOR THE NEED TO CHANGE

                                   

                  ALL OF THESE FACTORS PREVENT US FROM GETTING RID OF OUR NEGATIVE HABITS. WE ALL HAVE A CHOICE. WE CAN IGNORE NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR AND HOPE IT WILL GO AWAY- THE OSTRICH APPROACH - OR FACE UP TO IT AND OVERCOM IT FOR LIFE. BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION COMES FORM OVERCOMING IRRIATIONAL FEARS AND GETTING OUT OF THE CONFORT ZONE. REMEMBER, FEARS AND GETTING OUT OF THE CONFORT ZONE. REMEMBER, FEAR IS A LEARNED BEHAVIOR AND CAN BE UNLEARNED. 

             THE FOLLOWING EXCUSES ARE THE MOST COMMON EXPLANATIONS FOR NOT CHANGING NEGATIVE HABITS.

             1. I HAVE ALWAYS DONE IT THAT WAY.

             2. I HAVE NEVER DONE IT THAT WAY.

             3. THAT IS NO NOT MY JOB.

            4. I DON'T THINK IT WILL MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

            5. I'M TOO BUSY.

                                                                          ❤❤❤❤

TEACH YOUR CHILDRENS TO THIS HABITS

                                         CHILDRENS WITH GOOD HABITS

                ❤ TEACH HIM TO PUT A PRICE TAG ON EVERYTHING AND HE WILL PUT HIS INTEGRITY FOR SALE.

                ❤ TEACH HIM NEVER TO TAKE A STAND AND THEN HE WILL FALL OR ANYTHING.

                ❤ MAKE HIM BELIEVE THAT WINNING IS NOT EVERYTHING, THAT IT IS THE ONLY THING AND HE WILL MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO WIN BY HOOK OR BY CROOK.

                ❤ GIVE A CHILD EVERYTHING HE WANTS RIGHT FROM INFANCY AND HE WILL GROW UP BELIEVING THAT THE WORLD OWES HIM A LIVING AND EVERYTHING WILL BE HANDED TO HIM ON A PLATTER.

                ❤ WHEN HE PICKS UP BAD LANGUAGE, LAUGH AT HIM. THIS WILL MAKE HIM THINK HE IS CUTE.

                ❤ DON'T EVER GIVE HIM ANY MORAL OR ETHICAL VALUES. WAIT UNTIL HE IS 21 AND LET HIM DETERMINE HIS OWN.

               ❤ GIVE HIM CHOICES HAS A CONSEQUENCE.

              ❤ NEVER TELL HIM HE IS WRONG HE MIGHT DEVELOP A COMPLEX. THIS WILL CONDITION HIM TO BELIEVE THAT SOCIETY IS AGAINST HIM WHEN HE GETS ARRESTED FOR DOING SOMETHING WRONG.

             ❤ ALWAYS PICK UP THINGS THAT HE LEAVES LYING AROUND - BOOKS, SHOES, CLOTHES, AND SO ON. DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM SO THAT HE WILL LEARN TO PUSH ALL RESPONSIBILITIES ONTO OTHERS.

            ❤ LET HIM READ, WATCH AND HEAR ANYTHIG HE WANTS, BE CAREFUL WHAT HE FEEDS HIS BODY, BUT LET HIS MIND FEED ON GARBAGE.

            ❤ IN ORDER TO BE POPULAR WITH HIS PEERS, HE MUST GO ALONG TO GET ALONG.

            ❤ QUARREL FREQUENTLY WHEN HE IS PRESENT. THIS WAY HE WON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN THINGS FALL APART AT HOME.

           ❤ GIVE HIM AS MUCH MONEY AS HE WANTS. NEVER TEACH HIM RESPECT FOR THE VALUE OF MONEY. MAKE SURE HE DOES HAVE THINGS AS TOUGH AS YOU DID.

          ❤ PROVIDE INSTANT GRATIFICATION FOR ALL SENSUAL DESIRES SUCH AS FOOD, DRINK AND COMFORT. DEPRIVATION CAN CAUSE FRUSTRATION.

          ❤ SIDE WITH HIM AGAINST NEIGHBORS AND TEACHERS, AS THEY ARE PREJUDICED AGAINST HIM.

          ❤ WHEN HE GETS INTO REAL TROUBLE, EXCUSE YOURSELF BY SAYING, I TRIED MY BEST BUT COULD NEVER DO ANYTHING WITH HIM.

          ❤ DON'T PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE DISCIPLINE TAKES AWAY FREEDOM.

                                            CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH CRITICISM, HE LEARNS TO CONDEMN.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH PRAISE, HE LEARNS TO APPRECIATE.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH HOSTILITY, HE LEARNS TO FIGHT.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH TOLERANCE, HE LEARNS TO BE PATIENT.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH RIDICULE, HE LEARNS TO BE SHY.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ENCOURAGEMENT, HE LEARN CONFIDENCE.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SHAME, HE LEARNS TO FEEL GUILTY.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH APPROVAL, HE LEARNS TO LIKE HIMSELF.

                  IF A CHILD LIVES WITH SECURITY, HE LEARNS TO HAVE FAITH.

                   IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ACCEPTANCE AND FRIENDSHIP,

                  HE LEARNS TO FIND LOVE IN THE WORLD.

                                    WHAT CHILDREN GET, THEY GIVE TO SOCIETY.

                                                                             ❤

                                                 BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE

 

               A YOUNG COUPLE USED TO LEAVE THEIR DAUGHTER AT A DAYCARE CENTER EVERY DAY BEFORE GOING TO WORK. AS THEY PARTED COMPANY, THE PARENTS AND CHILD KISSED EACH OTHER'S HAND AND THEN PUT THE KISSES IN THEIR POCKETS. ALL DURING THE DAY WHEN THE LITTLE GIRL GOT LONELY SHE WOULD TAKE OUT A KISS AND PUT IT ON HER CHEEK. THIS LITTLE ROUTINE MADE THEM FEEL TOGETHER EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE PHYSICALLY APART. WHAT A WONDERFUL THOUGHT.

                                                                   EDUCATION

                 BEING IGNORANT IS NOT SHAMEFUL, BUT BEING UNWILLING TO LEARN IS. ROLE MODELS CAN TEACH THROUGH EXAMPLE. CHILDREN WHO ARE TAUGHT THE IMPORTANT OF INTEGRITY DURING THEIR FORMATIVE YEARS GENERALLY DON'T LOSE IT. IT BECOMES A PART OF LIFE, WHICH IS WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR IN ANY PROFESSIONAL, WHETHER A CONTRACTOR, ATTORNEY, ACCOUNTANT, POLITICIAN, POLICE OFFICER OR JUDGE, INTEGRITY IS A LOT STRONGER THAN HONESTY. IN FACT IT IS THE FOUNDATION OS HONESTY.

              YOUTH ARE IMPRESSIONABLE, WHEN THEY SEE THEIR MENTORS - SUCH AS PARENTS, TEACHERS OR POLITICAL DISHONESTY SUCH AS STEALING A TOWEL IN A HOTEL OR CUTLEY FROM THE RESTAURANTS, THE FOLLOWING HAPPENS.

               👀THEY ARE DISAPPOINTED.

              👀 THEY LOSE RESPECT FOR THEIR MENTORS.

              👀 CONSTANT EXPOSURE BREEDS ACCEPTANCE IN THEM. 

                                                                     👀👀👀👀👀

ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY

                                  RESPONSIBILITY GIVES YOU PROMOTION

                                               

             RESPONSIBILITIES GRAVITATE TO THE PERSON WHO CAN SHOULDER THEM.

                  WHEN PEOPLE ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY THEY ARE ACTUALLY GIVING THEMSELVES A PROMOTION. 

                   RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR IS TO ACCEPT ACCOUNTABILITY. THAT REPRESENTS MATURITY. ACCEPTANCE OF RESPONSIBILITY IS A REFLECTION OF OUR ATTITUDE AND THE ENVIRONENMENT WE OPERATE IN. MOST PEOPLE ARE QUICK TO TAKE CREDIT FOR WHAT GOES RIGHT BUT VERY FEW WOULD READILY ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY WHEN THINGS GO WRONG. A PERSON WHO DOES NOT ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY IS NOT ABSOLVED FROM BEING RESPONSIBLE. YOUR OBJECTIVE IS TO CULTIVATE RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR.

          STOP THE BLAME GAME

         AVOID PHRASES SUCH AS :

       👀 EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT

       👀  OR NO ONE DOES IT, OR

       👀  IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

                      PEOPLE WHO DON'T ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY SHIFT THE BLAME TO THEIR PARENTS, TEACHERS AND GENES. GOD, FATE, LUCK OR THE STARS. RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR SHOULD BE INCULCATED CERTAIN DEGREE OF OBEDIENCE.

                    JOHNNY SAID, MAMA, JIMMY BROKE THE WINDOW, MAMA ASKED, HOW DID DO IT? JOHNNY REPLIED, I THREW A STONE AT HIM AND HE DUCKED.

                   PEOPLE WHO USE THEIR PRIVILEGES WITHOUT ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY USUALLY END UP LOSING THEIR PRIVILEGES. RESPONSIBLE INVOLVES THOUGHFUL ACTION.

                 PETTINESS CAUSES IGNORE OUR RESPONSIBILITIES

                         THINK ABOUT IT. PETTY MINDS ARE BUSY PASSING THE BUCK RATHER THAN DOING WHAT NEED TO BE DONE.

               

                                              SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

                         ANCIENT INDIAN WISDOM TEACHESUS THAT OUR FIRST RESPONSIBILITY IS TO THE COMMUNITY, SECOND TO OUR FAMILY, AND THIRD TO OURSELVES. WHEN THIS HIERARCHY IS REVERSED, A SOCIETY STARTS DEGENERATING. SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY OUGHT TO BE THE MORAL OBLIGATION OF EVERY CITIZEN. RESPONSIBILITY AND FREEDOM GO HAND IN HAND. A SIGN OF A GOOD CITIZEN IS THAT HE IS WILLING TO PULL HIS OWN WEIGHT.

                                THE PRICE OF GREATNESS IS RESPONSIBILITY.

                   SOCIETIES ARE NOT DESTROYED SO MUCH BY THE ACTIVITIES OF RASCALS BUT BY THE INACTIVITY OF THE GOOD PEOPLE. WHAT A PARADOX! IF GOOD PEOPLE CAN TOLERANT DESTRUCTION BY BEING INACTIVE, HOW CAN THEY BE GOOD? THE QUESTION IS, ARE THEY DISCHARGING THEIR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY?

                       FOR EVIL TO FLOURISH, GOOD PEOPLE HAVE TO DO NOTHING AND                                   EVIL SHALL FLOURISH.

                             

                                          CHOOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULL

                     A PERSON WHO SAYS WHAT EVER HE LIKES USUALLY ENDS UP HEARING WHAT HE DOESN'T LIKE. BE TACTFUL. TACT CONSISTS OF CHOOSING ONE'S WORDS CAREFULLY AND KNOWING HOW FAR TO GO. IT ALSO MEANS KNOWING WHAT TO SAY AND WHAT TO LEAVE UNSAID. TALENT WITHOUT TACT MAY NOT ALWAYS BE DESIRABLE. WORDS REFLECT ATTITUDE. WORDS CAN HURT FEELINGS AND DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS. MORE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN HURT BY AM IMPROPER CHOICE OF WORDS THAN BY ANY NATURAL DESASTER. CHOOSE WHAT YOU SAY RATHER THAN SAY WHAT YOU CHOOSE. THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WISDOM AND FOOLISHNESS. 

                  EXECESSIVE TALKING DOES NOT MEAN COMMUNICATION. TALK LESS, SAY MORE.

               A FOOL SPEAKS WITHOUT THINKING, A WISE MAN THINKS BEFORE SPEAKING.

               WORDS SPOKEN OUT OF BITTERNESS CAN CAUSE IRREPARABLE DAMAGE. THE WAY PARENTS SPEAK TO THEIR CHILDREN IN MANY INSTANCES SHAPES THEIR CHILDREN'S DESTINY.

                                                         ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY

                    WE  NEED TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR BEHAVIOR AND OUR ACTIONS AND INSULATE OURSELVES FROM EXCUSES. DON'T BE LIKE THE STUDENT WHO FAILED JUST BECAUSE HE DIDN'T LIKE THE TEACHER  OR THE SUBJECT. WHO IS HE HURTING THE MOST? WE  HAVE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY AND STOP BLAMING OTHERS. THEN, AND ONL THEN, WILL PRODUCTIVITY AND QUALITY OF LIFE IMPROVE.

                 OUR PRIVILEGES CAN BE NO GREATER THAN OUR OBLIGATIONS. THE PROTECTION OF OUR RIGHTS CAN ENDURE NO LONGER THAN THE PERFORMANCE OF OUR RESPONSIBILITIES.

                    EXCUSES MAKE THE PROBLEM WORSE THAN THE PROBLEM ITSELF.

                 WE OWE RESPONSIBILITY

                ❤ TO SELF

                ❤ TO FAMILY

                ❤ TO WORK

                ❤ TO SOCIETY

                ❤ TO THE ENVIRONMENT

                 WE CAN ADD TO THE GREENERY BY PLANTING TREES, STOPPING SOIL EROSION AND PRESENTING NATURAL BEAUTY.

                WE CANNOT LIVE AS IF WE HAVE ANOTHER EARTH WE CAN MOVE ON. ON A DAILY BASIS, WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE. WE ARE CUSTODIANS FOR THE FUTURE GENERATIONS. IF WE DO NOT BEHAVE RESPONSIBLY, HOW CAN FUTURE GENERATIONS FORGIVE US?

                IF THE AVERAGE LIFE EXPECTANCY OF A PERSON IS 75 YEARS AND IF YOU ARE 40 YEARS OLD, YOU HAVE 365 DAYS * 35 YEARS, TO LIVE. ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THIS TIME? WHEN WE ACCEPT OR ADD RESPONSIBILITY, WE MAKE OURSELVES MORE VALUABLE.

                                                           ❤   ❤   ❤   ❤   ❤

BE GRATEFUL BUT DO NOT EXPECT GRATITUDE

                                              GRATEFUL AND GRATITUDE

                                                                         ❤

                                                                                    ❤

               GRATITUDE IS A BEAUTIFUL WORD. GRATITUDE IS A FEELING. IT IMPROVES OUR PERSONALITY AND BUILDS CHARACTER. GRATITUDE DEVELOPS OUT OF HUMILITY. IT IS A FEELING OF THANKFULNESS TOWARDS OTHERS. IT IS CONVEYED THROUGH OUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS OTHERS AND REFLECTS IN OUR BEHAVIOR. GRATITUDE DOES NOT MEAN RECIPROCATING GOOD DEEDS GRATITUDE IS NOT GIVE AND TAKE. KINDNESS, UNDERSTANDING AND PATIENCE CANNOT BE REPAID. WHAT DOES GRATITUDE TEACH US? IT TEACHES US THE ART OF COOPERATION AND UNDERSTANDING. GRATITUDE MUST BE SINCERE. A SIMPLE THAN YOU CAN BE GRACIOUS. MANY TIMES WE FORGET TO BE THANKFUL TO THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO US, SUCH AS OUR SPOUSE, OUR RELATIVES, OUR FRIENDS. GRATITUDE WOULD RANK AMONG THE TOP QUALITIES THAT FORM THE CHARACTER AND PERSONALITY OF AN INDIVIDUAL WITH INTREGRITY. EGO STANDS IN THE WAY OF SHOWING GRATITUDE. A GRACIOUS ATTITUDE CHANGES OUR OUTLOOK IN LIFE. WITH GRATITUDE AND HUMALITY, RIGHT ACTIONS COME NATURALLY.

               GRATITUDE OUGHT TO BE A WAY OF LIFE, SOMETHING THAT WE CANNOT GIVE ENOUGH OF. IT CAN MEAN A SMILE, OR A THANK YOU, OR GESTURE OF APPRECIATION.

              THINK OF YOUR MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSIONS. WHAT MAKES THEM SPECIAL? IN MOST CASES, THE GIFT IS LESS SIGNIFICANT THAN THE GIVER. SELDOM ARE WE GRATEFUL FOR THE THINGS WE ALREADY POSSESS.

                THINK BACK AND TRY TO RECALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAD A POSITIVE INFLUENCE ON YOUR LIFE. YOUR PARENTS, TEACHERS, ANYONE WHO SPENT EXTRA TIME TO HELP YOU. PERHAPS IT APPEARS THAT THEY JUST DID THEIR JOB. NOT REALLY. THEY WILLINGLY SACRIFICED THEIR TIME, EFFORT, MONEY AND MANY OTHER THINGS FOR YOU. THEY DID IT OUT OF LOVE AND NOT FOR YOUR THANKFULNESS. AT SOME POINT, A PERSON REALIZE THE EFFORT THAT WENT IN TO HELP THEM SHAPE THEIR FUTURE. PERHAPS IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO THANK THEM.

                                                         THE STORYOF CHRIST

                         AS THE STORY GOES, CHRIST HEALED TEN LEPERS AND WHEN HE TURNED BACK THEY WERE ALL GONE EXCEPT ONE WHO HAD THE COURTESY TO THANK HIM. CHRIST SAID, I DIDN'T  DO A THING, WHAT IS THE MORAL OF THE STORY?

                    1. HUMAN BEINGS ARE UNGRATEFUL.

                    2. A GRATEFUL PERSON IS THE EXCEPTIONAL PERSON.

                    3. CHRIST LITERALLY GAVE THEM A NEW LIFE AND SAID, I DIDN'T DO A                              THING.

                    4. LIKE CHRIST WE SHOULD NOT EXPECT GRATITUDE.

         

                  HOW DOES THIS TRANSLATE IN OUR BAHAVIOR AND PERSONALITY? WE FEED OR GIVE SHELTER TO SOMEONE FOR A FEW DAYS AND SAY, LOOK WHAT I DID FOR THE OTHER PERSON, IT IS NOT UNCOMMON TO HEAR PEOPLE SAYING, IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, THIS PERSON WOULD BE ON THE STREET, WHAT AN EGO!

                                                                      BY THE WAY

                    WHEN PEOPLE ASK OTHERS TO DO SOMETHING FOR THEM BY USING THE PHRASE, BY THE WAY, CAN YOU DO THIS FOR ME? THEY UNDERMINE THE IMPORTANCE OF DOING OR NOT DOING. I HAVE FOUND THAT IF WE HAVE DO TO ANYTHING FOR ANYONE IT IS NEVER BY THE WAY, IT IS ALWAYS OUT OF THE WAY.

                  THIS DOES NOT AMOUNT TO DOING FAVORS FROM THE DOER'S PERSCEPTIVE. IF ONE DOESN'T DO THINGS THAT CAN BE DONE TO HELP ANOTHER PERSON, THEN IT SAD. BUT I AM CONVINCED  THAT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BY THE WAY, IT IS ALWAYS OUT OF THE WAY, AND IT IS WORTH IT.

 

                                                STEPS TO OPENING A DISCUSSION

         1. BE OPEN-MINDED.

         2. DON'T BE DRAGGED INTO AN ARGUMENT.

         3. DON'T INTERRUPT.

         4. LISTEN TO THE OTHER PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW BEFORE GIVING YOUR                      OWN.

         5. ASK QUESTIONS TO CLARIFY. THAT WILL ALSO SET THE OTHER PERSON                         THINKING.

         6. DON'T EXAGGERATE.

         7. BE THUSIASTIC IN CONVINCING, NOT FORCEFUL.

         8. BE WILLING TO YIELD.

         9. BE FLEXIBLE ON PETTY THINGS BUT NOT ON PRINCIPLES.

        10. DON'T MAKE IT A PRESTIGE ISSUE.

        11. GIVE YOUR OPPONENT A GRACEFUL WAY TO WITHDRAW WITHOUT                                  HURTING HIS PRIDE. REJECTION CAN BE HURTFUL.

        12. USE SOFT WORDS BUT HARD ARGUMENTS RATHER THAN HARD WORDS                          AND SOFT ARGUMENTS.

                 IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DEFEAT AN IGNORANT MAN IN AN ARGUMENT. HIS STRONG AND BITTE WORDS ONLY WORDS ONLY INDICATE A WEAK CAUSE.

                            

                   AN OPEN EAR IS THE ONLY BELIEVABLE SIGN OF AN OPEN HEART.

                                        ❤ IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD LISTENER:❤

 

           ❤ ENCOURAGE THE SPEAKER TO TALK.  

           ❤ ASK QUESTIONS. IT SHOWS INTEREST.

           ❤ DON'T INTERRUPT.

           ❤ DON'T CHANGE THE TOPIC.

           ❤ SHOW UNDERSTANDING AND RESPECT.

           ❤ PAY ATTENTION, CONCENTRATE.

           ❤ AVOID DISTRACTIONS.

           ❤ SHOW EMPATHY.

           ❤ BE OPEN-MINDED. DON'T LET PRECONCEIVED IDEAS AND PREJUDICES PREVENT YOU FROM LISTENING.

           ❤ CONCENTRATE ON THE MESSAGES AND NOT ON THE DELIVERY.

           ❤ RECOGNIZE THE NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION, SUCH AS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, EYE CONTACT, ETC. THEY MIGHT BE COMMUNICATING A DIFFERENT MESSAGE FROM THE VERBAL.

           ❤ LISTEN TO FEELINGS AND NOT JUST WORDS.

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BUDGET YOUR TIME AND MONEY

                                                  FINANCIAL RESOURCES

               ANDREW CARNEGIE HIS ENTIRE LIFE BY A STRICT BUDGET THAT COVERED BOTH HIS TIME AND HIS FINANCIAL RESOURCES. HIS ACHIEVEMENTS QUALIFIED HIM TO SPEAK AS AN AUTHORITY ON THIS SUBJECT, FOR AMERICA HAS NEVER PRODUCED A MAN WHO MADE BETTER USE OF HIS OPPORTUNITIES UNER THE AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE THAN DID HE.

              ECONOMIC AND SOCIAL CONDITIONS HAVE CHANGED GREATELY SINCE MR. CARNEGIE'S DAY, BUT THE PRINCIPLES OF PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENT HAVE NOT CHANGED. THEY ARE THE SAME TODAY AS THEY WERE WHEN HE WAS WORKING HIS WAY UP FROM THE BOTTOM TO AN ENVIABLE POSITION, AND THEY SERVE AS EFFECTIVELY TODAY AS THEY DID WHEN HE WAS BUILDING HIS CAREER.

                HILL : MR. CARNEGIE, YOU HAVE NAMED THE BUDGETING OF TIME AS ONE OF THE ESSENTIALS FOR INDIVIDUAL ACHIEVEMENT. WILL YOU INDICATE WHAT METHODS ONE SHOULD ADOPT TO MAKE THE BEST USE OF HIS TIME?

                CARNEGIE : EVERY SUCCESSFUL PERSON PLANS HIS LIFE AS CAREFULLY AS SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS MAN PLANS HIS BUSINESS. HE BEGINS BY ADOPTING A DEFINITE MAJOR PURPOSE, AND THE FOLLOWS THROUGH BY DEVOTING A DEFINITE PROPORTION OF HIS TIME TO ATTAINING THE OBJECT OF THAT PURPOSE.

                HILL : WHAT PROPORTION OF ONE'S TIME SHOULD BE DEVOTED TO THE ATTAINMENT OF HIS MAJOR PURPOSE?

               CARNEGIE : TO BEGIN WITH LET US RECOGNIZE THAT THE AVERAGE PERSON COMES INTO THE WORLD WITH NOTHING BUT TIME AS AN ASSET!

                EACH PERSON HAS TWENTY-FOUR HOURS OF TIME EACH DAY- NO MORE, NO LESS.

           WHEN A PERSON REACHES THE AGE OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY HE SHOULD DIVIDE HIS TIME INTO THREE PERIODS, (1) EIGHT HOUR FOR SLEEP, (2) EIGHT HOURS FOR WORK, (3) EIGHT HOURS FOR RECREATION. SOME PEOPLE, PERHAPS A MAJORITY OF THEM, FIND IT NECESSARY TO WORK TEN HOURS PER DAY IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN THE PRESENT STANDARD OF LIVING,  WHILE THEY DEVOTE BUT SIX HOURS PER DAY TO RECREATION. THE AVERAGE PERSON CANNOT GET ALONG ON LESS THAN EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP.

                                    

                        HILL : WHICH OF THESE THREE PERIODS OF THE DAY DO YOU CONSIDER TO BE THE MOST IMPORTANT?

                        CARNEGIE : THAT DEPENDS ALTOGETHER ON WHAT YOU CONSIDER TO BE IMPORTANT. SOUND HEALTH DEMANDS AT LEAST EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP. AN EVERAGE LIVING, UNDER OUR PRESENT STANDARD OF LIVING, DEMANDS AT LEAST EIGHT TO TEN HOURS A DAY FOR WORK. THIS LEAVES FROM SIX TO EIGHT HOURS A DAY OF FREE TIME WHICH ONE MAY USE AS HE PLEASES, AND I WOULD SAY THAT IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERIOD OF THE DAY, AS FAR AS PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENT IS CONCERNED, BECAUSE IT PROVIDES ONE WITH AN OPPORTUNITY TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL EDUCATION, PLAN NEW MEANS OF RENDERING SERVICE, AND CREATE GOOD WILL.

                        HILL : WHAT ABOUT THE PERSON WHO USES THIS PERIOD FOR NONE OF THESE PURPOSES, BUT DEVOTES IT ENTIRELY TO PERSONAL PLEASURE WHICH IN NO WAY BRINGS HIM ADDITIONAL INFLUENCES OR FRIENDS?

                      CARNEGIE : THAT PERSON WHO USES HIS FREE TIME IN THIS MANNER WILL NEVER BE A SUCCESS IN ANYTHING, EXCEPT BY SOME RARE STROKE OF GOOD FORTUNR WHICH FAVORS HIM WITHOUT HIS OWN EFFORTS.

                      THE SLEEP PERIOD PRODUCES NO RESULTS EXCEPT THAT OF MAINTAINING SOUND HEALTH. THEREFORE ONE CAN TAKE NO LIBERTIES WITH IT, AND IT HOLDS NO SEED OF OPPORTUNITY FOR SELF-PROMOTION, OR FOR THE ACCUMULATION OF MATERIAL THINGS.

                    THE WORK PERIOD REQUIRES ALL OF ONE'S THOUGHTS AND EFFORTS FOR SPECIFIC DUTIES. THEREFORE IT HOLDS BUT SLIGHT OPPORTUNITIES FOR EXTRA EFFOT, ALTHOUGH ONE MAY SO USE IT AS TO LAY THE FOUNDATION FOR OPPORTUNITIES BY MODIFYING THE QUALITY AND THE QUANTITY OF THE WORK HE PERFORMS.

                     THE MORE SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE COMBINE THEIR FREE-TIME WITH THEIR WORK-TIME, BY DEVOTING ALL OF IT TO SOME SORT OF ACTION WHICH AIDS THEM IN ATAINING THE OBJECT OF THEIR MAJOR PURPOSE. THUS, THEY WORK ABOUT TWO-THIRDS OF THEIR TIME AND SLEEP  THE OTHER THIRD.

HILL : BUT, ISN'T IT NECESSARY FOR A MAN TO TAKE TIME OFF FOR RECREATION AND PLAYIF HE IS TO MAINTAIN SOUND HEALTH?

 

CARNEGIE : YES, SOUND HEALTH DEMANDS A CHANGE OF PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HABITS, BUT SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE HAVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE THESE CHANGES BY SO ARRANGING PEOPLE HAVE LEANRNED HOW TO MAKE THESE CHANGES BY SO ARRANGING THEIR WORK-TIME AND THEIR FREE-TIME THAT THE FREE-TIME PROVIDES RECRETION ALONG LINES THAT CONTRIBUTE TO AND HARMONIZE WITH THE DUTIES THEY PERFORM DURING THEIR WORK-TIME.

HILL : I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN. A MAN MAY SO USE HIS FREE-TIME THAT IS BRINGS HIM OPPORTUNITIES DEFINITELY RELATED TO HIS WORK, SUCH AS ASSOCIATION WITH PEOPLE WHO CAN BE OF BENEFIT TO HIM IN CONNECTION WITH THE ATTAINMENT OF HIS MAJOR PURPOSE, ALTHOUGH HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM MAY BE ENTIRELY OF A SOCIAL NATURE FORM WHICH HE GET HIS RECRETION.

CARNEGIE : THAT'S  THE IDEA, PRECISELY! BUT, YOU SHOULD RECOGNIZE THE FACT THAT MOST PEOPLE DO NOT SPEND THEIR FREE-TIME IN THIS MANNER. THEY USE IT FOR EXCITEMENT, WHICH TOO OFTEN THEY MISTAKE FOR PLEASURE, AND FOR ASSOCIATION WITH PEOPLE WHO INFLUENCE THEM BY DESTRUCTIVE HABITS, SUCH AS DRINKING AND GAMBLING, OR PEOPLE WHO INFLUENCE THEM BY JUST PLAIN LAZINESS.

                WHILE ONE'S FREE-TIME MAY BE PROPERLY CALLED "OPPORTUNITY-TIME, IT USUALLY PROVES TO BE ONE'S MISFORTUNE-TIME, FOR IT IS DURING THIS PERIOD THAT MOST PEOPLE ACQUIRE NEGATIVE HABITS WHICH VITALLY AFFECT THEIR WORK-TIME. SUCH HABITS, FOR EXAMPLE, AS CUTTING INTO THEIR SLEEP-TIME AND THEREBY REDUCING THE EFFICIENCY OF THEIR WORK-TIME AS WELL AS IMPAIRING THEIR PHYSICAL HEALTH.

                         

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