SELT-TALK IN PRESENT TENSE

 

                                        PRESENT TENSE

      

                                  ALL POSITIVE SELT-TALK, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF SITUATIONAL SELF-TALK, IS WRITTEN, READ, RECORDED, LISTENED TO, THOUGHT, AND SPOKEN IN THE PRESENT TENSE. IT IS ALWAYS STATED AS THOUGH THE DESIRED CHANGE HAS ALREADY TAKEN PLACE. BY DOING THIS, YOU ARE GIVING YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND A COMPLETED PICTURE OF THE ACCOMPLISHED TASK, YOU ARE PRESENTING YOUR CONTROL CENTER WITH THE COMMAND THAT SAYS, "THAT IS WHAT I CHOOSE. THIS IS THE 'ME' I WANT YOU TO CREATE FOR ME". THE MORE FINISHED OR COMPLETE THE PICTURE, THE MORE SPECIFIC THE DIRECTIONS YOU ARE GIVING YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND WILL BE.

                        WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE NEW DIRECTIONS TO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS YOU WOULD NOT SAY, AS AN EXAMPLE, " I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT". WHEN YOU SAY, "I AM GOING TO... WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY TELLING YOUR CONTROL CENTER? TOMORROW, LATTER, SOME OTHER TIME, I'LL LOSE WEIGHT IN THE FUTURE (I'M GOING TO) BUT FOR NOW, KEEP ME LIKE I AM". AND TOMORROW NEVER COMES.

                        STATE YOUR GOAL OR THE RESULT YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE IN THE PRESENT TENSE. BECAUSE THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS TRUE AND WHAT IS NOT, IN  TIME IT WILL ACCEPT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING IT AND ACT ON IT. BUT REMEMBER, IT WILL ATTEMPT TO FOLLOW THE EXACT WORDING OF THE DIRECTIONS YOU ARE GIVING IT.

                      I ALWAYS DO EVERYTHING I NEED TO DO, WHEN I NEED TO DO IT.

                      I NEVER ARGUE OR LET MY EMOTIONS WORK AGAINST ME.

                      I DON'T SMOKE.

                      I HAVE A GOOD MEMORY. I EASILY AND AUTOMATICALLY REMEMBER ANY                          NAME OR ANYTHING THAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME.

                      I EAT ONLY WHAT I SHOULD.

                      I AM A GOOD LISTENER. I HEAR EVERYTHING THAT IS SAID. I AM                                            ATTENTIVE, INTERESTED, AND AWARE OF EVERYTHING THAT IS                                         GOING ON AROUND YOU.

                     I HAVE THE COURAGE TO STATE MY OPINIONS. I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY                            FOR  MYSELF AND EVERYTHING I SAY AND DO.

                     I NEVER SPEND MORE THAN I EARN. I AM FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE,                                 BOTH FOR MY PRESENT AND FOR MY FUTURE.

                    I SET GOALS AND I FOLLOW THEM. I SET MY SIGHTS, TAKE THE                                             APPROPRIATE ACTION, AND ACHIEVE MY GOAL.

                    I SPEND TIME WITH MY FAMILY AND MY LOVED ONE, I ENJOY SHARING                              THEIR LIVES WITH MINE AND MY LIFE WITH THEIRS.

                       EACH OF THESE EXAMPLES OF POSITIVE SELF-TALK DEALS DIRECTLY WITH "HABITS" - CONDITIONED STYLES OF BEHAVIOR THAT FRUSTRATE US OR HOLD US BACK. IN EACH CASE, THE EXAMPLES STATE THE CHANGE IN THE PRESENT TENSE, AS THOUGH THE DESIRED RESULT HAS ALREADY TAKEN PLACE, BUT EACH EXAMPLE STATES ONLY A SINGLE SELF-TALK PHRASE OR TWO OUT OF MANY THAT, IN ACTUAL PRACTICE, YOU WOULD USE TO CREATE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO MAKE.

                   WHEN YOU ARE USING SELF-TALK TO CHANGE A HABIT, AFFECT AN ATTITUDE, OR CREATE INTERNAL MOTIVATION, IT WORKS MOST EFFECTIVELY WHEN YOU BUILD A SOLID BODY OF SELF-TALK AROUND THE SUBJECT YOU ARE WORKING ON. ONE PHRASE OF THE RIGHT KIND OF SELF-TALK CAN HAVE AN EFFECT ON YOUR BEHAVIOR, BUT IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU PAINT AN ENTIRELY NEW PICTURE FOR YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND THAT YOU WILL DERIVE THE FULL BENEFIT FROM YOUR SELF-TALK.

                 IF YOU WERE TO CHOOSE ONE OF THE EXAMPLES WE JUST USED, AND WANTED TO CHANGE AN OLD HABIT BY USING JUST ONE SELF-TALK PHRASE ONLY, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU REPEATED THAT BIT OF SELL-TALK, IT WOULD HAVE ONLY LIMITED RESULTS, INSTEAD, START WITH THAT ONLY PHRASE AND EXTEND IT, AND TO IT, AND COVER EVERY PART OF THE PROBLEM BY INCLUDING SELT-TALK PHRASES THAT COVER EVERY HIDDEN CORNER.

               REMEMBER, YOUR NEW SELF-TALK IS THE NAVIGATION SYSTEM YOU'RE USING TO CHART YOUR NEW DESTINATION AND DETERMINE YOUR COURSE, DIRECTION, ALTITUDE, AND SPEED. SO BE SPECIFIC AND BE THROUGH. DON'T EXPECT VAGUE DIRECTIONS, HINTS OF SOLUTIONS, AND SHADOWS OF EXPECTATIONS TO GET YOU WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

                                                      BE SPECIFIC

                    WHEN YOU USE SELF-TALK, LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED. ISOLATE THE PROBLEM, LOOK AT IT FROM EVERY ANGLE, MAKE A LISTG OF EVERY AREA WITHIN THAT PROBLEM, AND ADD A LINE OF SELF-TALK TO COVER IT. WHILE I HAVE FOUND FEW PROBLEMS THAT CAN BE SOLVED WITH A SINGLE PHRASE OR TWO OF SELF-TALK, I HAVE FOUND THAT IN MOST CASES ANY SPECIFIC PROBLEM OR GOAL CAN BE COVERED WITH AS FEW AS A DREAM OR SO WELL-WORDED SELF-TALK PHRASE.

                  LET'S LOOK AT AN EXAMPLE OF SELF-TALK FOR CHANGING HABITS. IN THIS INSTANCE WE'LL USE SELF-TALK TO TACKLE A HABIT THAT HOLDS A LOT OF PEOPLE BACK FROM REACHING THEIR FULL POTENTIAL - THE HABIT OF WASTING TIME ON WORRY. CONQUERING JUST THIS ONE NEGATIVE HABIT HAS TURNED UNDERACHIEVERS INTO WINNERS AND GIVEN THEM EXTRA TIME, PEACE OF MIND, AND A FRESH NEW OUTLOOK ON LIFE.

                      ONCE AGAIN, WHEN YOU READ THE EXAMPLES OF HABIT-CHANGING SELF-TALK, NOTICE THAT THE SELF-TALK DOESN'T HUST TALK ABOUT THE SYMPTOMS - IT BREAKS THE OLD HABIT DOWN AND GETS AT ITS ROOTS. THE NEW POSITIVE SELF-TALK COVERS THE PROBLEM FROM EVERY ANGLE. YOU SHOULD, BY READING THESE FEW PHRASES OF SELF-TALK COVERS THE PROBLEM FROM EVERY ANGLE. YOU SHOULD, BY READING THESE FEW PHRASES OF SELF-TALK, VERY QUICKLY RECOGNIZE THAT  THE DIFFERENCE IT CAN MAKE IS NOT ONE THAT WILL OCCUR BY USING JUST A SIMPLE PHRASES OR TWO.

                    SELF-TALK IS AT ITS STRONGEST AND MOST EFFECTIVE WHEN IT IS COMPOSED OF A SPECIFIC SET OF CONCISELY WORDED DIRECTIONS - USUALLY A GROUP OF DOZEN OR MORE COMBINED PHRASES, LINKED OF THE BETTER YOU THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO BECOME, OR THE CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE YOU WOULD LIKE TO CREATE.

                     IN THIS EXAMPLE THE OLD HABIT HAS BEEN SUPPORTED WITH DAILY NEGATIVE SELF-TALK - THE KIND WE TALKED ABOUT EARLIER. "NO MATTER WHAT I DO, IM STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME". I JUST CAN'T RELAX, OR THE PROBLEMS IN MY LIFE NEVER STOP. I CAN'T GET A BREAK!, THAT'S THE OLD PROGRAMMING. BUT THE NEW HABIT CHANGING SELF-TALK LOOKS AT ALL OF THOSE THINGS DIFFERENTLY.

                   IN THE FOLLOWING SELF-TALK, WATCH EVERY PHRASES FOR THE PICTURE IT PRESENTS, NOTE THE INSTRUCTIONS THAT ARE BEING GIVEN, WORK FOR WORD, THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND OF THE INDIVIDUALS WHO USED TO THINK THAT STRESS AND WORRY WERE DESTINED TO BE A PERMENT PROBLEM.

                  THIS IS THE KIND OF POWERFUL SELF-TALK THAT CREATES  A COMPLETELY, NEW, BETTER MENTAL ENVIROMENT. IN THIS EXAMPLE, IT SHOWS YOU A NATURAL, NEW PICTURE OF YOURSELF ACTUALLY BEING THE WORRY-FIRE, MORE PRODUCTIVE PERSON PERSON YOU WOULD LIKE TO BECOME.

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TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

 

                                                         ABOUT YOURSELF

                          PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IS AT THE ROOT OF EVERYTHING WE THINK, DO, CONCEIVE, FAIL AT, OR ACHIEVE IN OUR LIVES. IT IS THE BEDROCK OF ALL INDIVIDUAL ACTION. RESPONSIBILITY DOES NOT MEAN "DUTY" BURDE". IT IS NOT THE MEASURE OF OUR LIABILITY OR OUR ACCOUNTABILITY. IT IS THE BASIS OF OUR INDIVIDUAL DETERMINATION TO RESPOND TO LIFE AND TO FULLFILL OURSELVES WITHIN IT.

                    THE DAY YOU WERE BORN, THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THERE WERE FEW OTHER PEOPLE AROUND HELPING YOU INTO THE WORLD. YOUR MOTHER WAS THERE, PROBABLY A DOCTOR, AND MAYBE A NURSE TO TWO. BUT NO MATTER WHO PATTED YOU ON THE BACKSIDE WHEN YOU CAME STRUGGLING INTO HUMAN LIFE, YOU TOOK YOUR FIRST BREATH ALONE. NO MATTER WHAT HELP YOU MAY HAVE RECEIVED, YOU TOOK THAT FIRST BREATH BY YOURSELF. AND THE NEXT BREATHE, AND THE NEXT. YOU DID THAT. YOU MAY HAVE HAD SOME HELP ALONG THE WAY, BUT THE BREATHS YOU TOOK WERE YOUR OWN. NO ONE BREATHED THEM FOR YOU.

                   ONE DAY, EACH OF US WILL DIE. IF YOU HAVE EVER STOOD AT THE BEDSIDE OF SOMEONE WHO WAS PASSING OUT OF THIS WORLD, YOU KNOW THAT NO MATTER HOW TIGHTLY YOU MIGHT HAVE HELD THAT LOVED ONE'S HAND, THEIR LAST BREATH WAS BREATHED ALONE. WHEN YOU OR I TAKE OUR LAST BREATH, IN EARTHLY MATTERS, WE WILL BREATHE IT ALONE.

                     IN SPIRIT OF EVERYTHING THAT ANYONE CAN DO TO HELP, IN SPITE OF THE DOCTORS AND THE ASSISTANTS, IN SPITE OF THE NEEDS AND TEARS OF THOSE WHO STAY BEHIND, WHEN WE LEAVE, WE WILL LEAVE ALONE. THERE MAY BE ABUNDANT SPIRITS TO GUIDE US, BUT OF THOSE WE LEAVE ON EARTH BEHIND US, NOT ONE OF THEM CAN SHARE THAT JOURNEY WITH US. WE TAKE OUR FIRST BREATH BY OURSELVES, AND WE TAKE OUR LAST BREATH BY OURSELVES.

                 HOW, THEN, IT IS THAT SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN, IN THAT TIME WE CALL LIFE, WE EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO OUR BREATHING FOR US?

                NO ONE WILL EVER BREATHE ONE BREATH FOR US. NO ONE WILL EVER THINK ONE THOUGHT THAT IS OURS. NO ONE WILL EVER STAND IN OUR BODIES, EXPERIENCE WHAT HAPPENS TO US, FEEL OUR FEARS, DREAM OUR DREAMS, OR CRY OUR TEARS. WE ARE BORN, LIVE AND LEAVE THIS LIFE ENTIRELY ON OUR OWN. THAT "SELF" AND THE DIVINE SPIRIT THAT DRIVES IT, ARE WHAT WE HAVE. NO ONE ELSE CAN EVER A SINGLE MOMENT OF OUR LIVES FOR US. THAT WE MUST DO FOR OURSELVES. THAT IS RESPONSIBILITY.

                  HYPNOSIS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A REPLACEMENT FOR THE RESPONSIBILITY EACH OF US HAS TO MANAGE OUR OWN MINDS. IT IS, RATHER, A TOOL THAT MAY HELP US, AT LEAST TEMPORARILY, OVERRIDE SOME OF THE PROGRAMME WE HAVE THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO CHANGE QUICKLY.

                BUT PRACTICING POSITIVE SELF-TALK AS A WAY OF LIFE PLAYS A GREATER ROLE THAN THAT. WITH ACTIVE, DAILY SELF-TALK, YOU, PERSONALITY, ARE TAKIG COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF. YOU ARE CONSCIOUSLY IN CONTROL AND IN CHARGE OF THE MUCH BROADER SCOPE OF PROGRAMS THAT AFFECT EVERY FACET OF YOUR ATTITUDES AND YOUR BEHAVIOR.

                                     THE CHALLENGES TO CHANGING

                 THERE ARE TWO CHALLENGES IN CHANGING FROM THINKING NEGATIVELY TO THINKING POSITIVELY. THE FIRST CHALLENGE CONFRONTS THOSE WHO BELIEVE THAT POSITIVE THINKING, BY ITSELF, FIXES EVERYTHING. IT DOESN'T JUST "BELIEVING" EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT, WITHOUT CREATING AN ACTION PLAN TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM, WILL ONLY END IN DISAPPOINTMENT, AND ANY NOTION OF BECOMING A TRUE POSITIVE THINKER WILL SOON FADE AWAY. (WE EVEN HAVE TERM FOR THINKING THAT IS TOO POSITIVE. POLLYANNA THINKING) BUT THE KIND OF POSITIVE THINKING, AND THE POSITIVE SELF-TALK WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IN THIS CHAPTER, IS ALSO RESPONSIBLE THINKING. IT MAY BE OPTIMISTIC,  BUT IT IS ALSO PRACTICAL AND REALISTIC. THANKS TO THE LEFT PREFRONTAL CORTEX, YOUR BRAIN LOOKS FOR THE BEST SOLUTION UNTIL IT FINDS IT.

                  THE SECOND CHALLENGE IN CHANGING FROM NEGATIVE THINKING TO POSITIVE THINKING IS THAT JUST TELLING YOURSELF YOU'RE GOING TO BE MORE POSITIVE IN THE FUTURE DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY REWIRE YOUR BRAIN TO BE THAT WAY. YOU CAN SET A GOAL TO BE MORE OPTIMISTIC, YOU TAKE THE TIME TO REWIRE YOUR BRAIN WITH NEW POSITIVE PROGRAMS. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.

THE NEW TECHNNIQUE

 

                                               THE WAY YOU ARE THINK

                    THE TECHNIQUE THAT MAKE SELF-TALK WORK SO WELL ARE SIMPLY, AND THEY ARE SURPRISINGLY EASY TO USE. SOME OF THE  TECHNIQUE REQUIRE SPENDING TIME USING THEM, BUT SOME OF THE TECHNIQUE REQUIRE NO TIME ALL. THERE ARE FIVE DIFFERENT METHODS FOR USING SELF-TALK , YOU MAY CHOOSE TO USE SOME OF ALL OF THEM.

        

                                                     SILENT SELF-TALK

 

                   THIS IS THE SELF-TALK THAT GOES ON ALL THE TIME, ALTHOUGH WE ARE USUALLY NOT AWARE OF IT. SILENT SELF-TALK CAN BE EITHER TO CONSCIOUS OR ANCONSCIOUS INTERNAL DIALOGUE. WHEN YOU BEGIN TO REPLACE OLD NEGATIVE SELF-TALK WITH NEW POSITIVE SELF-TALK, THIS IS ONE OF THE EASIEST AND MOST NATURAL TECHNIQUE TO USE.

                      EVEN NOW, AFTER JUST BECOMING AWARE OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK OF LEVEL 1 AND LEVEL 2, THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS STARTING TO USE THE POSITIVE SELF-TALK OF LEVEL3 AND LEVEL4 WHEN YOU SILENTLY TALK TO YOURSELF. IT IS AN EASY CHANGE TO MAKE. IT TAKES MORE AWARENESS THAN EFFECT, AND SOON BECOMES A NATURAL AND AUTOMATIC SELF-TALK HABIT.

                 SILENT SELF-TALK INCLUDES ANYTHIG AND EVERYTHING YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF OR ANYTHING ELSE AROUND YOU. IT IS THAT SUBTLE SHIFT IN YOUR ATTITUDE FROM EVER AGAIN LOOKING AT THINGS IN A NEGATIVE, WAY TO LOOKING AT EVERYTHIG IN A MORE POSITIVE, PRODUCTIVE WAY.

                  INSTEAD OF WALKING UP IN THE MORNING AND TELLING YOURSELF YOU WISH YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GET OUT OF BED,YOUR NEW SELF-TALK SHOULD TELL YOU THAT IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE - AND IT'S TIME TO GET AT IT. SINCE MOST OF THOSE THIGS WE CALL PROBLEMS ARE REALLY ONLY PERCEIVED AS PROBLEMS, THE WAY YOU LOOK AT EACH OF THEM DETERMINES WHETHER THEY REALLY ARE NOT, YOU NEED ONLY TELL YOURSELF TO SEE THEM IN A BETTER WAY. I YOU THINK AND MIGHT SOUND A LITTLE TOO EASY, IT IS FOR A DAY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

                 REMEMBER, WHEN YOU BEGIN REPHRASING YOUR SELF-TALK FROM THE OLD TO THE NEW, YOUR OLD PROGRAMMING WILL TRY TO TALK YOU OUT OF IT. SO WHEN YOU GET STARTED, START FIRST WITH THE DECISION TO NOT LISTEN TO THE EARLIER NEGATIVE PROGRAM, WHICH TRIES TO TELL YOU THAT IT WON'T WORK. REMEMBER, TOO, THAT YOUR OLD SELF-TALK IS A HABIT. IT FEELS NATURAL AND IT FEELS COMFORTABLE. EVEN IF IT IS NEGATIVE. BY KNOWING WHAT TO EXPECT, YOU WILL BE READY TO MEET THAT OLD SELF-TALK HEAD ON, OVERRIDE IT, AND BEGIN BUILDING A NEW HABIT.

                 WITHIN EVEN A DAY OR TWO, YOU WILL START TO NOTICE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BEEN SAYING TO YOURSELF THAT COULD WORK AGAINST YOU. WHEN YOU HAVE MADE THE DECISION TO THROW THE OLD FURNITURE OUT OF YOUR MENTAL APARTMENT, YOU'LL KOW WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO BRING IT BACK IN. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. GET TOUGH! KEEP IT OUT. 

                AS YOU GET STARTED, DURING EACH DAY, LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU SAY WHEN YOU TALK TO YOURSELF. MAKE MENTAL NOTE OF ANYTHING YOU THINK OR SAY TO YOURSELF THAT SOUND LIKE THE WRONG KIND OF SELF-TALK, AND IMMEDIATELY TURN IT AROUND AND REPHRASE IT IN THE POSITIVE. I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET ORGANIZED TODAY. IMMEDIATELY BECOME "I AM ORGANISED AND IN CONTROL, TODAY ESPECIALLY. WHEN YOU HEAR YOURSELF SAY SOMETHING LIKE. I'VE REALLY GOT A PROBLEM WITH THIS. TURN IT AROUND AND SAY, "I CAN HANDLE THIS! I'M CAPABLE PERSON AND I HANDLE PROBLEMS WELL". I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO LOSE WEIGHT". BECOMES "LOSING WEIGHT IS NEVER A PROBLEM FOR ME. I EAT EXACTLY WHAT I SHOULD AND ONLY THE RIGHT HEALTHY AMOUNT - I 'M LOSING WEIGHT AND LOOKING GREAT!.

                INSTEAD OF TELLING YOURSELF THT YOU'RE TIRE - AT A TIME OF THE DAY WHEN YOU CAN'T AFFOR TO BE TIRED - IMMEDIATELY TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU HAVE PLENTY OF ENERGY ENTHUSIAM. AND IF IT DOESN'T SUDDENLY MAKE YOU JUMP UP AND DOWN WITH ENERGY, THAT'S OKAY, YOU'RE WORKING ON A WHOLE NEW WAY TO TALK TO YOURSELF, AND YOU ARE STARTING TO GIVE YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND A NEW SET OF DIRECTIONS. JUST KEEP DOING IT EVERY CHANCE YOU GET, AND IT WILL START TO WORK FOR YOU. HOW WE FEEL". TIRED OR ENERGETIC, LISTLESS OR ENTHUSIASTIC- IS MENTAL AMD CHEMICAL, IT IS PHYSIALOGICAL.

                THINK OF A TIME WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO EVEN GET UP OUT OF THE CHAIR. IT HAS BEEN A LONG DAY, YOU WORKED HARD AND YOU ARE PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY EXHAUSED. THEN THE PHONE RINGS, AND IT IS JUST THE RIGHT PHONE CALL AT JUST THE RIGHT MOMENT, SOMEONE CALLING WITH GOOD NEWS, OR SOMEONE WHO IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD TO YOU. WHAT SUDDENLY HAPPENS TO YOUR ENERGY? WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR ENTHUSIAM? A SURGE OF ADRENALINE HITS YOUR SYSTEM AND BRINGS YOU BACK TO LIFE INSTANTLY.

                  HAS ANYTHING REALLY CHANGED? JUST THE SIGNALS YOU SENT TO YOUR BRAIN, AND , IN TURN, THE SWITCHES YOUR BRAIN TURNED ON FOR YOU, SENDING MESSAGE TO EVERY PART OF YOUR BRAIN TURNED ON FOR YOU, SENDING MESSAGS TO EVERY PART OF YOUR SYSTEM TELLING YOU TO SUDDENLY FEEL GREAT, WHEN ONLY MOMENTS BEFORE YOU COULN'T GET OUT OF THE CHAIR.

                 MANY OF THE MESSAGES YOU GIVE YOURSELF THROUGH YOUR SILENT SELF-TALK MAY NOT BE US OBVIOUS. BUT THE BRAIN RESPONDS JUST AS IMMEDIATELY AND PRODUCES RESULTS, WHETHER THEY ARE NOTICED OR NOT, THAT ARE JUST AS POWERFUL. REMEMBER, THE THOUGHTS YOU THINK ARE ELECTRICAL IMPULSES THAT DIRECT THE BRAIN TO TURN IMPORTANT SWITCHES IN YOUR MENTAL CONTROL CENTER ON OR OFF. BY REPLACING YOUR EARLIER NEGATIVE OR NEUTRAL SELF-TALK WITH NEW COMMANDS, YOU ARE ACTIVATING HEALTHY, PRODUCTIVE CHEMICAL AND ELECTRICAL CONTROL CENTERS IN YOUR BRAIN THAT WILL AUTOMATICALLY WORK FOR YOU INSTEAD OF AGAINST YOU.

                  WE HAVE ALL EXPERIENCED TIMES ONE ARGUMENT IN THE MORNING CAN RUIN THE WHOLE DAY, CHANGE THE PROGRAMMING. REPHRASE YOUR SILEN THOUGHT TO YOURSELF. INSTEAS OF LOSING A DAY TO DEPRESSION OR DEJECTION, YOU WILL GAIN ONE MORE PRECIOUS DAY OF WORTH WHILE ACCOMPLISHMENT. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER EMOTIONALLY, YOU WILL BE HEALTHIER, BOTH MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY, AND YOU WILL GET ALONG BETTER WITH OTHERS. INSTEAD OF CHALKING THE DAY UP AS A LOSS, YOU WILL HAVE EARNED YOURSELF ANOTHER WIN.

 

                                                                    

SELF TALK

 

                                               BY IMPROVING YOURSELF 

                                                        WITH SELF TALK

               A TYPICAL EXAMPLE OF THE STORIES I 'M TOLD IS FOUND IN A LETTER I RECEIVED FROM A WOMAN WHO, AFTER ATTENDING A SEMINAR ON SELF-TALK HAD DECIDED TO LISTEN TO RECORDED SELF-TALK TO HELP HER WITH HER "FAMILY RELATIONSHIP"- IN PARTICULAR, HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER HUSBAND. THINGS HADN'T BEEN GOING TOO WELL FOR THEM, FINANCIALLY OR OTHERWISE, AND SHE WANTED TO PUT THINGS STRAIGHT, MEANWHILE, HER HUSBAND WAS SHOWING ALL THE SIGNS OF MAKING A SHOW BUT PREDICTABLE DEPARTURE FROM THE RELATIONSHIP.

                THE WOMAN HAD GRADUATED FROM WRITING SELF-TALK CARDS AND READING THEM TO HERSELF, TO LISTENING TO RECORDED SELF-TALK. SHE LISTENED TO A SESSION ON IMPROVING PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS, A SESSION ON SELF-ESTEEM, A SESSION ON GOAL-SETTING, AND ANOTHER SESSION ON TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF. SHE LISTENED TO SELF-TALK EACH MORNING, WHEN SHE COULD DURING DAY, AND EACH NIGHT HUST BEFORE SHE WENT TO SLEEP. TO LISTEN TO THE SELF-TALK, SHE LET THE SESSIONS PLAY ALOUD, BUT IN THE BACKGROUND. ACCORDING TO HER, WHEN SHE FIRST BEGAN PLAING THE POSITIVE SELF-TAKE INT HE BACKGROUND, HER HUSBAND COULD NOT HAVE CARED LESS.

                  BUT AFTER A WEEK OR TWO, HER HUSBAND TOOK HER TO DINNER ONE EVENING, AND DURING DINNER THEY DISCUSSED THE SELF-TALK SHE WAS LISTENING TO. HE STILL SHOWED EVERY SIGN OF DISINTEREST IN THE SELF-TALK THE NEXT DAY, BUT AS SHE HAD LEARNED IN THE SEMINAR. DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR SELF-TALK. JUST KEEP DOINT IT.

             BY THE END OF THE THIRD WEEK, HER HUSBAND ASKED HER TO REPLAY ONE OF THE SESSION SHE HAD BEEN PLAYING WHILE THEY WERE GETTING DRESSED ONE MORNING. EARLIER, SHE HAD NOTICED THAT THEY WERE ARGUING LESS, BUT UNTIL THAT MORNING, HE HAD NEVER SHOWN ANY ACTIVE INTEREST IN THE SELF-TALK SHE WAS LISTENING TO EACH DAY. SHORTLY THEREAFTER,THE HUSBAND BEGAN TO EXHIBIT NOTICEABLE PROBLEMS THE HAD BEEN HAVING ON HIS JOB.

                  THE END RESULT WAS THAT BOTH OF THEM BEGAN TO TALK MORE, STARTED MAKING SOME NEW PLANTS, AND STARTED WORKING TOGETHER AGAIN. HER SELF-TALK  HAD THE SAME EFFECT ON HIM AS IT DID ON HER! IT MADE NO DIFFERENCE WHETHER HE BELIEVED IN THE SELF-TALK OR NOT. HIS SUBCONSCIOUS  MIND DIDN'T CARE IT SIMPLY ACTED ON THE NEW INFORMATION HE WAS UNCONSIOUSLY PROGRAMMING. HE WAS, WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT, ACCEPTING THE NEW, MORE POSITIVE PROGRAMMING THAT BEING PLAYED AS A BACKGROUND TO THIER DAILY LIVES. INITIALLY, ONE OF THEM, 'BELIEVED' AND THE OTHER DID NOT. IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

                  IN YOUR OWN PRACTICE OF SELF-TALK, THE IMMEDIATELY HELPING THING YOU CAN DO IS TO LISTEN TO SELF-TALK. MANY PEOPLE START WITH LISTENING TO THE SELF-TALK SESSION THAT ARE DESIGNED TO HELP THEM REACH THEIR GOALS. THAT'S BECAUSE THE ARE OF GOAL-SETTING AND GOAL ACHIEVEMENT IS WHERE ISTHE EXTERNAL RESULTS OF THE INTERNAL CHANGES YOU'RE MAKING ARE LIVED OUT IN EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR DAY, AND YOU CAN SEE THE FIRST RESULTS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. SINCE SELF-TALK SESSIONS CAN NOW BE STREAMED DIRECTLY TO YOUR SMARTPHONE OR ANY LISTENING DEVICE, LISTENING IN THIS WAY HAS BECOME VERY POPULAR, AND IT'S ALSO PRACTICAL.

                   LISTENING TO RECORDED SELF-TALK SESSIONS HAS SOME ADVANTAGES GOING FOR IS THAT ARE AS YET UNRIVALED IN THE SELF-DEVELOPMENT FIELD. THE FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT ADVANTAGES IS THAT YOU CAN LISTEN TO PASSIVE SELF-TALK THAT IS WRITING YOUR BRAIN AND IMPROVING YOUR LIFE WHILE YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING ELSE. YOU DONT HAVE TO FOCUS ON LISTENING. BECAUSE THE SELF-TALK IS BEING PLAYED LOUD ENOUGH TO BE HEARD, AND IT'S CLEARLY AUDIBLE, EVEN IF IT'S PLAYING SOFTLY IN THE BACKGROUND, YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND WILL BE LISTENING, AND IT WILL BE BUSILY PROGRAMMING THE NEW POSITIVE INFORMATION ABOUT YOU WHETHER YOU'RE CONNSCIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT IT OR NOT.

                   ANOTHER ADVANTAGE TO LISTENING IS THAT DOING SO WITH TODAY'S, TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANTAGES IS ESPECIALLY CONVENIENT - SO ITS A TOOL YOU ACTUALLY END UP USING. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TAP ON THE MENU OF SELF-TALK SESSIONS LISTED ON THE SCREEN OF YOUR SMARTPHONE, SELECT THE SUBJECT YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO THAT DAY, AND START LISTENING. WRITING OUT SCRIPTS OF SELF-BELIEF, READING AND REREADING A BOOK, OR TRYING TO STUDY A COURSE IN SELF-ACHIEVEMENT.

                   YET ANOTHER IMPORTANT ADVANTAGE IS THAT THE RECORDED SESSION, BECAUSE  THEY ARE AVAILABLE ANYTIME WE WANT TO LISTEN OR ANYTIME WE NEED THEIR HELP, GIVE US A "COACH" THAT USES THE RIGHT SELF-TALK TO GIVE US IMMEDIATE EXTERNAL MOTIVATION WHEN WE MINDS WITH A WINNING SCRIPT OF INTERNAL MOTIVATION TO GIVE US LISTENING RESULTS.

                   ONE OF MY FAVORITE SELF-TALK SESSION SIS TITLED, "BELIEVING IN INCREDIBLE YOU". IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LISTEN TO THAT SESSION WITHOUT FEELING OF LISTENING. AND WHILE IT IS GEARING ME UP AND GETTING ME GOING, FILLING ME WITH THE KIND OF ENTHUSIASM THAT TURNS AN AVERAGE DAY INTO AN EXCEPTIONAL DAY, IT IS ALSO CAREFULLY AND BUSILY REPROGRAMMING ME TO MAKE EVERY DAY MORE EFFECTIVE, MORE PRODUCTIVE, MORE SELF-FULFILLING IN EVERY WAY. 

                      LISTENING TO THAT KIND OF SELF-TALK SESSION IS LIKE HAVING, A PERSONAL COACH, A BEST FRIEND, STANDING AT YOUR SIDE, ENCOURAGING, MOTIVATING, UPLIFTING, BELIEVING, AND PUSHIBG YOU FORWARD THAT DAY, THAT MOMENT, HELPING YOU EXTRACT AND ACHIEGVE THE BEST FROM YOURSELF.

                   IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO AVAIL YOURSELF OF ONE OF THE MOST WORTHWHILE METHODS OF SETTING UP YOUR OWN FUTURE TO THE GOOD, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO LISTEN TO SELF-TALK. OF ALL THE WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF-TALK LISTENING TO THE RIGHT SELF-TALK IS THE MOST IMMEDIATELY HELPFUL AND THE MOST ENDURING. JUST TAP THE SCREEN, GO ABOUT YOUR DAY, AND LET IT PLAY. YOUR SUBCONSIOUS MIND WILL BE LISTENING.

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THE SELF - MANAGEMENT SEQUENCE

 

 

                            THE FIVE STEPS THAT CONTROL OUR

                                       SUCCESS OR FAILURE

                                      1. BEHAVIOR

                      THE STEP THAT MOST DIRECTLY CONTROLS OUR SUCCESS OR FAILURE IS OUR BEHAVIOR - WHAT WE DO OR DO NOT DO. BEHAVIOR OUR ACTIONS. HOW WE ACT, WHAT WE DO, EACH MOMENT OF EACH DAY WILL DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT WE WILL BE SUCCESSFUL THAT MOMENT OR THAT DAY IN ANYTHING THAT WE DO. THE RIGHT SERIES OF THE RIGHT ACTIONS WILL ALWAYS END UP MAKING THINGS WORK BETTER THAN THE WRONG SERIES OF THE WRONG ACTIONS. IN MOST CAUSES, IF YOU DO THE RIGHT THING, YOU'RE GOING TO ACHIEVE THE RIGHT RESULTS.

                 THIS STEP INVOLVES EVEN THE SIMPLEST LEVEL OF BEHAVIOR. AS AN EXAMPLE, IF YOU LIKE YOUR JOB,DO THE RIGHT THING AT THE RIGHT TIME, AND KEEP AT IT, THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THAT YOUR JOB WILL DO WELL FOR YOU. IF, ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU DO NOT LIKE YOUR WORK AND DO THINGS THAT WORK AGAINST YOU ON THE JOB, IT WON'T WORK AS WELL FOR YOU.

                 LET'S USEANOTHER EXAMPLE, IF A STUDENT IN SCHOOL REFUSES TO STUDY, NEVER PAYS ATTENTION, AND MISSES A LOT OF CLASSS (ALL BEHAVIOR) WILL THE STUDENT DO WELL IN SCHOOL? PROBABLY NOT. IF THAT STUDENT BEHAVIOR IN A WAY THAT SAYS, "I DONT LIKE BEING WHERE I AM, HIS OR HER BEHAVIOR WILL ULTIMATELY CAUSE A PROBLEM. THE GOOD GRADES WON'T SHOW UP, AND IF SOMETHING DOESN'T CHANGE, EVENTUALLY NEITHER WILL THE STUDENT.

                 THE SAME IS TRUE OF YOUR HOME LIKE. IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHERE YOU ARE IN YOUR HOME LIFE, WHAT WILL YOU DO? IF YOU ARE LIKE MOST OF US,IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER , YOUR BEHAVIOR, YOUR ACTIONS WILL ALERT THOSE AROUND YOU THAT YOU ARE UNHAPPY. THE RESULT WILL BE AN UNHEALTHY HOME LIFE, OR AT A MINIMUM YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH DISAGREEMENTS, ARGUMENTS, AND UNHAPPINESS IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER.

                     ON THE OTHER HAND, IF YOUR ACTIONS ARE THOSE THAT WORK FOR YOU INSTEAD OF AGAINTS YOU, THE LIKEHOOD IS THAT THINGS AROUND YOU WILL HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF WORKING FOR YOU INSTEAD OF AGAINST YOU.

                   BUT IT GOES FAR BEYOND THAT. HOW YOU MANAGE YOUR SELF, WHAT YOU DO, HOW YOU ACT EACH AND EVERY MOMENT, EVERY WORK YOU SPEAK, MOTION YOU MAKE, AND ACTION YOU TAKE OR DO NOT TAKE WILL DETERMINE HOW WELL ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE WORKS FOR YOU. IT DOES NOT TAKE A WIZARD TO TELL US WHEN WE DO THE RIGHT THINGS, THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER CHANCE THAT THINGS WILL WORK BETTER FOR US THAN WHEN WE DO THE WRONG THINGS.

                BUT WHY DO WE DO WHAT WE DO?WHY DO WE NOT TO THE THINGS WE KNOW WE SHOULD NOT? WHAT MAKES US DO WHAT WE DO? WHAT MAKES US ACT THE WAY WE ACT, BEHAVE THE WAY WE BEHAVE? WHY DO WE EVER DO ANYTHING THAT WORKS AGAINST US INSTEAD OF ALWAYS DOING EXACTLY THAT WHICH FOR US ? IT IS BEHAVIOR WE DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER? NO. WE USUALLY KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT AND WHAT'S WRONG.

                     THE REASON WE DON'T HEED EVEN OUR OWN ADVICE IS BECAUSE OF SOMETHING ELSE THAT AFFECTS, DIRECTS, INFLUENCES, OR CONTROLS ALL OF OUR ACTIONS. THAT SOMETHING THAT MAKES US DO WHAT WE DO IS CALLED OUR.

                  

                                 2. FEELINGS

                        EVERY ACTIONS WE TAKE IS FIRST FILTERED THROUGH OUR FEELINGS. HOW WE FEEL ABOUT SOMETHING WILL ALWAYS DETERMINE OR AFFECT WHAT WE DO AND HOW WELL WE DO IT.

                      IF WE FEEL GOOD OR POSITIVE ABOUT SOMETHING, WE WILL BEHAVE MORE POSITIVELY ABOUT IT. OUR FEELINGS WILL DIRECTLY INFLUENCES OUR ACTIONS. HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED CHILDREN WHO WERE MADE TO EAT SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T LIKE? HOW DID THEY ACT? I'VE SEEN CHILDREN WHO LOOKED AS THOUGH THEY WERE GOING TO DIE RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT. BUT SET A FAVORITE DESSERT IN FRONT OF THE SAME CHILDREN AND WHAT WILL THEY DO? THEY MAY LOOK AS THOUGH THEY'RE GOING TO DIVINE INTO IT HEADFIRST.

                   WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE ONE PLATE OF FOOD AND THE OTHER? IT'S NOT THAT ONE TYPE OF FOOD IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER. THE DIFFERENCE IS IN HOW THOSE CHILDREN HAVE COME TO FEEL ABOUT THE FOOD. THE WAY THE CHILDREN FELT DETERMINED WHAT ACTIONS THEY TOOK. IN ONE INSTANCE THEY FOUGHT IT, IN THE OTHER THEY RELISHED IT.

                   I HAVE A FRIEND WHOSE FEAR IS THAT OF FLYING. ORDINARYILY, SHE IS LEVEHEADED AND POSSESS AN EVEN DISPOSITION, BUT BECAUSE OF HER FEAR OF BEING IN AN AIRPLANE, SHE WOULD RATHER DRIVE A CAR FROM HER HOME IN THE MIDWEST TO VISIT HER FAMILY ON THE EAST COAST, AND LOSE TWO OR THREE DAYS GETTING THERE, THAN HOP ON A PLANT AND BE WITH HER FAMILY IN TWO OR THREE SHORT HOURS. WHEN CIRCUMSTANCES DEMAND THAT SHE DOES FLY, SHE LOSES HER WELL-MANNERED, EVEN TEMPERAMENT, HER STREES LEVEL TRIPLES,HER ENXIETIES TAKE OVER,  AND SHE GETS SICK EVEN BEFORE THE FLIGHT BEGINS.

             IS IT THE FLYING? NO. IT IS HER FEELINGS ABOUT FLYING THAT CAUSE HER TO ACT THE WAY SHE DOES. IN THIS EXAMPLE, YOU'LL NOTICE THAT, ONCE AGAIN, IT MADE NO DIFFERENT IT THE INDIVIDUALS FEELINGS WERE "RATIONAL", HER FEELINGS NONETHELESS DIRECTLY CONTROLLED, INFLUENCED, AND SEVERELY AFFECTED THE WOMAN'S ACTIONS.

                      YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT ANYTHING YOU DO WILL AFFECT HOW YOU DO IT. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE FEELINGS OF LIKE OR DISLIKE, JOY OR FEAR, ALL OF YOUR  FEELINGS AFFECT YOUR ACTIONS. HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR JOB, YOUR MATE, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR MONEY, YOUR HEALTH, YOURSELF, AND YOUR SUCCESS WILL DETERMINE HOW YOU HEHAVE IN EACH OF THESE AREAS. IF YOUR FEELINGS ARE POSITIVE AND PRODUCTIVE, YOUR ACTIONS WILL FOLLOW.

                     BUT WHAT CAUSES YOU TO HAVE THE FEELINGS THAT ARE SO MUCH A PART OF YOU? DID YOU GET THEM BY ACCIDENT? WHAT CREATES THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT ANYTHING? CHANCE? NEVER. YOUR FEELINGS ARE CREATED, CONTROLLED, DETERMINED, OR INFLUENCED BY YOUR.

                        3. ATTITUDES

                YOUR ATTITUDES ARE THE PERSPECTIVE FROM WHICH YOU VIEW LIFE. SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE ABOUT MOST THINGS. SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE ABOUT EVERYTHING. BUT WHEN YOU LOOK CLOSER, YOU WILL FIND THAT MOST OF US HAVE A COMBINATON OF ATTITUDES, SOME GOOD, SOME NOT SO GOOD.

                WHATEVER ATTITUDE WE HAVE ABOUT ANYTHING WILL AFFECT HOW WE FEEL ABOUT IT, WHICH IN TURN DETERMINES HOW WE'LL ACT ABOUT IT, AND THAT IN TURN DETERMINES WHETHER OR NOT WE WILL DO WELL. SO, OUR ATTITUDE PLAY A VERY IMPORTANT PART IN HELPING US BECOME SUCCESSFUL.

                INFACT, AS WE CAN SEE, A GOOD ATTITUDE IS ESSENTIAL TO ACHIEVEMENT OF ANY KIND. WE SO OFTEN HEAR OF SOMEONE WHO SAID TO HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE, THE TERM IS OFTEN APPLIED TO YOUNG  PEOPLE , ESPECIALLY TO TEENAGERS WHO FREQUENTLY GET INTO TROUBLE, BUT WE OFTEN HEAR IT ABOUT ADULTS, TOO. THE IMPLICATION IS ALWAYS THAT THE INDIVIDUALS IN QUESTION ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT IF THEY DON'T CHANGE THEIR ATTITUDES.

               I WOULD AGREE. WTHOUT A GOOD ATTITUDE, A PERSPECTIVE THAT ALLOWS US TO SEE THE OPPORTUNITIES AHEAD AND SET OUR SIGHTS TO REACH THEM, WE NEVER WILL. BUT EVEN MORE IMPORTANT IS THE FACT THAT IN ORDER TO POSSESS THE KINDS OF FEELINGS THAT WORK FOR US, WE'VE GOT TO HAVE THE RIGHT ATTITUDES TO START WITH.

                 BUT WHERE DO WE GET OUR ATTITUDES? ARE WE BORN WITH THEM? OR DO THEY JUST APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE?

               OUR ATTITUDES ARE NO ACCIDENT . THEY DON'T JUST HAPPEN. OUR ATTITUDES ARE CREATED, CONTROLLED, OR INFLUENCED ENTIRELY BY OUR.

                            4. BELIEFS

                    WHAT WE BELIEVE ANYTHIING WILL DETERMINE OUR ATTITUDES ABOUT IT, CREATE OUR FEELINGS, DIRECT OUR ACTIONS, AND IN EACH IN. STRANCE, HELP US TO DO WELL OR POORLY, SUCCEED OR FAIL. THE BELIEF THAT WE HAVE ABOUT ANYTHING IS SO POWERFUL THAT IT CAN EVEN MAKE SOMETHING APPEAR  TO BE SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN WHAT IT REALLY IS, "BELIEF" DOES NOT REQUIRE THAT SOMETHING ACTUALLY BE THE WAY WE SEE IT TO BE. IT REQUIRES US TO BELIEVE THAT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.

                    BELIEF DOES NOT REQUIRE SOMETHING TO  BE TRUE. IT ONLY REQUIRES US TO BELIEVE THT IT'S TRUE. THAT'S POWERFUL STUFF! THAT MEANS MOST OF WHAT REALITY IS, TO EACH OF US, IS BASED ON WHAT WE HAVE COME TO BELIEVE - WHETHER IT'S TRUE OR NOT.

                   IT IS POSSIBLE THAT TOMORROW MORNING, IN SOME CLASSROOM IN A FOREIGN NATION, THERE WILL SIT A LITTLE BOY OR GIRL WHO BELIEVE THAT OUR COUNTRY IS BAD. IT IS ALSO LIKE THAT TOMORROW MORNING, IN SOME CLASS ROOM IN OUR COUNTRY, THERE WILL SIT A YOUNG BOY OR GIRL WHO BELIEVE THAT THE OTHER NATION IS BAD. IT MAKS NO DIFFERENCE WHETHER IT IS TRUE OR NOT. IT IS WHAT THEY BELIEVE. AND WHAT THEY BELIEVE WILL AFFECT THEIR ATTITUDES, FEELINGS, AND ACTIONS, ONE DAY WHEN THEY GROW OLDER, THEY COULD SEE EACH OTHER AS A ENEMY, AND TRY TO KILL EACH OTHER. TO EACH OF THEM IT WOULD BE RIGHT. IT WOULD BE WHAT THEY BELIEVE.

                  WHEN I WAS A CHILD, SITTNG ON A CHURCH BENCH, TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE MAN IN THE PULPIT WAS TALKING ABOUT, I REMEMBER HIM TELLING S TO "BELIEVE". I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. I THOUGHT THAT SOME PEOPLE WERE LUCKY AND SOME WERE NOT. SOME JUST NATURALLY GOT TO BELIEVE, AND SOME DIDN'T. I DID NOT KNOW YET WHERE BELIEF COMES FROM, AND I CERTAINLY DIDN'T KNOW THE POWER THAT BELIEF WOULD HAVE IN MY LIFE AND THE POWER BELIEFS HAD HELD IN THE LIVES OF EVERY HUMAN BEING WHO HAD EVER LIVED.

               AS AN EXAMPLE OF HOW IMPORTANT BELIEF CAN BE, IMAGINE BELIEVING SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF, SOMETHING THAT WAS WORKING AGAINST YOU BUT THAT WAS NOT TRUE.

             LET'S SAY YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU HAD TROUBLE MAKING FRIENDS EASILY, OR BEING ACCEPTED EASILY AND NATURALLY BY OTHERS. YOU BELIEVED YOU TOOK A SOCIAL BACKSEAT TO PEOPLE WHO SEEMED TO BE MORE POPULAR. AS A  RESULT, YOU FOUND YOURSELF STANDING BACT AT SOCIAL GATHERINGS, SELF-CONSCIOUS AND UNSURE OF WHAT TO SAY. AT YOUR WORK YOU OFTEN MISSED OPPORTUNITIES BECAUSE YOU DID NOT SPEAK UP - EVEN WHEN YOUR IDEA WAS BETTER THAN THE IDEA THAT WAS ACCEPTED FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO DID SPEAK UP. LET'S SAY YOU KNEW THAT YOU WANTED TO BE INTELLIGENT AND WITTY AND FUN, BUT YOU BELIEVED THAT YOU WANTED TO BE INTELLIGENT AND WITTY AND FUN, BUT YOU BELIEVED THAT THE OUTSIDE YOU JUST DIDN'T MEASURE UP.

              SINCE WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE ABOUT YOURSELF WILL END UP AFFECTING WHAT YOU DO, YOU CAN BE SURE THAT IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE NOT AS SOCIALLY SUCCESSFUL AS YOU WOULD TO BE, YOUR BELIEF ABOUT YOURSELF WILL TURN OUT TO BE CORRECT- WHETHER IT WAS TRUE OR NOT. BEYOND TENDENCIES TOWARD ASSERTIVENESS SHYNESS, ETCETERA, MOST SOCIAL BEHAVIORS ARE CONDITIONED TO BEGIN WITH - NO ONE I BORN POPULAR AND SOCIALLY ADEPT. EVERY SOCIAL GRACE, SKILL, AND COMFORT LEVEL THAT WE HAVE, SUCCESSFUL OR UNSUCCESSFUL, IS BASED ON WHAT WE LEARN TO BELIEVE ABOUT OURSELVES. IF YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU CANNOT, WHAT CAN THE ONLY OUTCOME BE? 

                    WE ALL HAVE THOUSANDS OF BIG AND LITTLE BELIEFS ABOUT OURSELVES. SOME OF THEM PROBABLY ARE TRUE. I SUSPECT THAT MOST OF THEM ARE NOT. BUT YOUR MIND WILL ACT AS THOUGH THEY ARE TRUE, IF YOU BELIEVE THEM.

                   WHAT MAKES US BELIEVE? DO OUR BELIEFS JUST ONE DAY SPRING OUT OF NOWWHERE? WERE OUR BELIEFS HANDED TO US ON THE DAY OF OUR BIRTH, LIKE BIRTHMARKS OF OUR HEREDITY TO BE KEPT FOREVER? DO WE CREATE THEM OURSELVES? WHERE DO WE GE THEM? OUR BELIEFS ARE NOT ACCIDENTS OF NATURE. OUR BELIEFS ARE CREATD AND DIRECTED ENTIRELY BY OUR.

                          5. PROGRAMMING

                     WE BELIEVE WHAT WE ARE PROGRAMMED TO BELIEVE. OUR CONDITIONING, FROM THE DAY WE WERE BORN, HAS CREATED, REINFORCED, AND NEARLY PERMANENTLY CEMENTED MOST OF WHAT WE BELIEVE ABOUT OURSELVES AND WHAT WE BELIEVE ABOUT MOST OF WHAT GOES ON AROUND US. THE RESULT OF IT IS WHAT WE BELIEVE.

                   IT ALL STARTS WITH OUR PROGRAMMING. WHAT WE HAVE ACCEPTED FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD, OR FED TO OURSELVES, HAS INITIATED A NATURAL CAUSE-AND-EFFECT CHAIN REACTION SEQUENCE THAT LEADS US EITHER TO SUCCESSFUL SELF-MANAGEMENT, OR TO THE UNSUCCESSFUL MISMANAGEMENT OR OURSELVES, OUR RESOURCES, AND OUR FUTURE.

               IT IS OUR PROGRAMMING THAT SETS UP OUR BELIEFS, AND THE CHAIN REACTION BEGINS, IN LOGICAL PROGRESSION, WHAT WE BELIEVE DETERMINES OUR ATTITUDES, AFFECTS OUR FEELINGS, DIRECTS OUR BEHAVIOR, AND DETERMINES OUR SUCCESS OR FAILURE.

                1. PROGRAMMING CREATES BELIEFS.

                2. BELIEFS CREATE ATTITUDE.

                3. ATTITUDES CREATE FEELINGS.

                4. FEELINGS DETERMINES ACTIONS.

                5. ACTIONS CREATE RESULTS.

                       THAT'S HOW THE BRAIN WORKS. IT YOU WANT TO MANAGE YOURSELF IN A BETTER WAY, AND CHANGE YOUR RESULTS, YOU CAN DO SO AT ANY TIME YOU CHOOSE. START WITH THE FIRST STEP. CHANGE YOUR PROGRAMMING.

                                                                            👀👀👀

     

                                                                               

               

 

THE UNIVERSAL LOVE

 

                                                      ASK FOR GUIDANCE

                 THE MOMENT YOU PRAY FOR GUIDANCE, YOU RECONNECT WITH YOUR INNER WISDOM, THE VOICE OF LOVE. IN AN INSTANT YOU CAN RELEASE THE TEACHER OF FEAR AND CHOOSE THE TEACHER OF LOVE BY WELCOMING SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE. THINK OF THIS SPIRITUAL CONNECTION AS A LOVING FRIEND, AN INTERMEDIARY, GUIDING YOUR THOUGHTS FROM FEAR OF LOVE.

                 THAT'S HOW SIMPLE THIS IS. JUSK ASK FOR HELP.

                 TRY IT NOW.

                  PICK ANY AREA OF YOUR LIFE THAT FEELS BLOCKED.

               NOW ASK FOR GUIDANCE. "THANK YOU, UNIVERSE, FOR GUIDING ME TO PERCEIVE THIS FEAR THROUGH THE TEACHER OF LOVE". 

              NOTICE HOW YOU FEEL AFTER SAYING THIS PRAYER. IT'S POSSIBLE THAT YOU MAY HAVE FELT IMMEDIATE RELIEF. CONTINUE TO USE THIS PRAYER THROUGHOUT YOUR DAY AND PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY MOMENT OF RELIEF AND THE GUIDANCE THAT YOU RECEIVE. MY HOPE IS THAT THIS PRAYER PROCESS WILL HELP YOU SEE HOW EASY IT TO REALIGN WITH THE ENERGY OF THE UNIVERSE AND CHOOSE THE PERCEPTION OF LOVE.  IN ANY MOMENT,  NO MATTER HOW FAR DOWN THE NEGATIVE PATH OF LOVE YOU'VE GONE, YOU CAN CHOOSE AGAIN. YOU CAN ALWAYS CHOOSE AGAIN.

                                          PRACTICE THE HOLY INSTANT

                  WHEN YOU PRAY TO LEARN THROUGH THE TEACHER OF LOVE EVER THE TEACHER OF FEAR, YOU EXPERIENCE WHAT A COURSEIN MIRACLES CALLS THE "HOLY INSTANT". THE HOLY INSTANT IS THE MOMENT THAT YOU SURRENDER YOUR FEAR TO THE CARE OF THE UNIVERSE AND ACCEPT THE PERSPECTIVE OF LOVE. IT'S NOT TEMPORAL, OR BASED IN TIME. RATHER, IT'S INSTANT OUT OF TIME AND SPACE IN WHICH OUR DECISION-MAKING MIND REALIZES IT MADE A MISTAKE (THE UNHOLY INSTANT) AND INVITES THE LOVING PERCEPTION OF THE UNIVERSE TO REINTERPRET THE SITUATION. THE SHIFT IN PERCEPTION ENABLES US TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE WORLD SHIFT IN PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD WE CREATED IN OUR MIND.THAT THE PROBLEM IS NOT OUTSIDE, BUT WITHIN, WE'RE REMINDED THAT THERE'S A LOVING SPIRITUAL PRESENCE THAT CAN RESTORE US TO SANITY. THA'S THE HOLY INSTANT. AND WHEN WE WITNESS THE HOLY INSTANCE, WE EXPERIENCE A MIRACLE.

                THROUGH YOU NEW PRAYER, YOU CAN PRACTICE THE HOLY INSTANT ALL THE TIME. THE MORE PERCEPTUAL SHIFTS YOU CREATE, THE MORE YOU WILL FEEL CONNECTED TO THE FLOW OF THE UNIVERSE. THIS PRACTICE IS CRUCIAL AS WE MOVE FORWARD WITH THE WORK IN THIS CHAPTER.

                I RECENTLY WITNESSED A BEATIFUL EXAMPLE OF THE HOLY INSTANT IN ACTION. MY FRIEND WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW MUCH HE DESPISED HIS BOSS. HE WENT ON AND ON ABOUT HOW HIS BOSS LED WITH AN IRON FIST, CONSTANTLY PUT EVERY ONE DAY, AND CREATED A NEGATIVE WORK ENVIROMENT. MY FRIEND WAS ANGRY AND DISTRAUGHT ABOUT HE SITUATION, BUT (AND THIS IS CRUCIAL) HE WAS WILLING TO SEE  IT DIFFERENTLY. HIS WILLINGNESS LED HIM TO SAY THE MAGIC WORDS TO ME. I NEED HELP. I WANT TO SEE THIS DIFFERENTLY. THIS REQUEST FOR HELP OPENED THE INVISIBLE DOOR TO THE UNIVERSAL REALM OF SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE. 

                SPIRIT WORKS THROUGH PEOPLE, AND ON THIS DAY SPIRIT WORKED THROUGH ME. I RESPONDED TO HIM BY TEACHING HIM THE HOLY INSTANT. I EXPLAINED TO HIM THAT THROUGH THE PRACTICEOF TURNING YOUR FEAR OVER TO LOVE, YOU COULD SHIFT YOUR PERCEPTION OF YOUR ENEMY INTO THE PERCEPTION OF A BROTHER. TOGETHER WE SAID A PRAYER. WE SAID, "THANK YOU, SPIRIT FOR YOUR GUIDANCE. WE SURRENDER THIS GRIEVANCE TO YOU, AND WE WELCOME YOU IN TO REORGANIZE ALL LIMITING BELIEFS BACK TO LOVE'.

                  INSTANTLY MY FRIEND FELT BETTER. I COULD SEE THE RELIEF COME OVER HIS FACE. WE SAID OUR GOOD-BYES AND ACCEPTED THE MIRACLES OF THE HOLY INSTANT. THEN AN HOUR LATER I GOT A CALL FROM HIM. HE SAID, THE COOLEST THING HAPPENED WHEN I GOT HOME, I STOOD INMY HALLWAY REMEMBERING WHAT YOU SAID. I HEARD YOUR VOICE SAY, CHOOSE TO SEE HIM AS A BROTHER, THEN I LOOKED DOWN AT THE MAIL IN MY  HAND, AND AT THE TOP OF THE PILE WAS A CHRISTMAS CARD FROM BY BOSS. IN THAT INSTANT I FELT A RUSH OF LOVE COME OVER ME, AND I WAS ABLE TO SEE HIM AS MY BROTHER. I FELT CONNECTED TO HIM IN A DIFFERENT WAY. I FORGAVE HIM AND PRAYED HIM TO BE HAPPY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON. WOW! I RESPONDED THIS IS THE HOLY INSTANT, MY FRIEND, IT'S AVAILABLE TO YOU ALL THE TIME".

                                                     FAST COMBACK

                  THE HOLY INSTANT IS AVAILABLE TO US ALL. WE JUST HAVE TO CHOOSE IT. THE MORE WE PRACTICE THE HOLY INSTANT, THE FASTER WE RETURN TO LOVE.

  

                                     RESTORE OUR FEAR BACK TO LOVE

                    THIS IS WHAT I CALL THE COMEBACK RATE. HOW QUICKLY CAN YOU COME BACK TO LOVE? THE WORLD WE PERCEIVE WILL GIVE US COUNTLESS OPPORTUNITIES TO DISCONNECT FROM LOVE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TURN ON THE NEWS, STEP INTO A PACKED SUBWAY, OR GET STUCK DRIVING IN TRAFFIC IN ORDER TO FEEL HOOKED INTO NEGATIVITY AND FEAR. THE MIRACLE ISN'T HOW WELL WE AVOID FEAR, THE MIRACLE IS HOW QUICKLY WE RETURN TO LOVE.

   

                 REMEMBER, THE GOAL ISN'T TO AVOID FEAR. FEAR WILL NEVER GO AWAY ALTOGETHER, AND IF YOU POUR YOUR ENERGY INTO TRYING TO AVOID IT, YOU MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXPERIENCE THE HOLY INSTANT. INSTEAD THE GOAL IS TO NOT BELIEVE IN FEAR.

                 COMMIT TO PRACTICING THE HOLY INSTANT. WHENEVER YOU NOTICE YOURSELF STUCK IN THE FEAR-BASED STORY, USE YOUR PRAYER. THANK YOU, UNIVERSE FOR GUIDANCE ME TO PERCEIVE THIS FEAR THROUGH THE TEACHER OF LOVE.

                 WHENEVER WE ALIGN OUR THOUGHTS WITH LOVE, WE CAN TRULY FEEL THE PRESENCE OF THE UNIVERSE BEHIND US. AS YOU BEGIN TO SHIFT YOUR PERCEPTIONS OUT OF FEAR. IT'S IMPORTANT TO GET CLEAR ABOUT THE WORLD YOU WANT TO SEE. MAY FOLKS CAN GET HUNG UP ABOUT THIS CONCEPT BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE WILLING TO SURRENDER FEAR, A DEEP-ROOTED FEELING THEY ARE WILLING TO SURRENDER FEAR, A DEEP-ROOTED FEELING THAT THEY DON'T DESERVE LOVE REMAINS. THIS MENTALITY BLOCKS THE CAPACITY TO STEP INTO THE FLOW.

               IN EVERY SITUATION YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES, WILL YOU, LEARN THROUGH FEAR OR WILL YOU LEARN THROUGH LOVE?

                THE SIMPLEST SHIFTS CAN RECONNECT YOU IN AN INSTANT. AS YOU GET INTO THE PRACTICE OF MINDFULLY MAKING THESE SHIFTS, YOU'LL IN TURN BEGIN TO EXPERIENCE LOVE, FLOW, SYNCHRONICITY, AND A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF GUIDANCE. TAKE THESE UNIVERSAL LESSONS SERIOUSLY, AND YOUR HIGH VIBE ENERGY WILL CLEAR THE PATH FOR A LIFE BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS.

                  * MEDITATION AND PRAYER OPEN YOU UP TO THE POWER OF THE UNIVERSE.

                  * THE PRESENCE OF FEAR SHOWS UP WHEN YOU'RE NOT RELYING ON THE                             UNIVERSE.

                 * YOUR PROJECTION IS YOUR PERCEPTION. BECOME AWARE OF THE FEAR-                            BASED STORIES YOU'VE BEEN PROJECTING ON YOUR INTERNAL MOVIE                               SCREEN.

                  * YOUR PRESENCE IS YOUR POWER. BE MINDFUL OF HOW YOU FROM THE                             UNIVERSE. AND KNOWTHE DIFFERENT BETWEEN WHAT IF FEELS LIKE TO                           BE CONNECTED BETWEEN WHAT IF FEELS LIKE TO BE CONNECTED TO THE                         PRESENCE OF YOUR POWER VERSUS WHAT IF FEELS LIKE WHEN YOU'RE                             NOT. 

                  

                   * WHEN YOU NOTICE YOURSELF DISCONNECT FROM THE PRESENCE OF LOVE, SAY THIS PRAYER TO COME BACK TO PEACE'. I WITNESS THAT I'M OUT OF ALIGNMENT WITH MY POWER. I CHOOSE TO SEE PEACE INSTEAD OF THIS.

                           I HELP YOU BECOME MORE AWARE OF HOW YOUR INTENTIONS CREATE YOUR REALITY. THIS WORK CAN FEEL A BIT OVERWHELMING AT FIRST. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE WORLD WE'VE CREATED CAN SEEM SCARY. BUT REMEMBER, YOU CAN CHOOSE HOW YOU WANT TO PERCIEVE EVERY SITUATION IN YOUR LIFE, INCLUDING YOUR HEALING PROCESS. LET'S SET THE INTENTION TO MOVE INTO THE NEXT CHAPTER WITH ENTHUSIASM FOR YOUR JOURNEY AND A DESIRE TO EXPAND YOUR INNER AWARENESS WITH SELF-FORGIVENESS AND GRACE. THIS PROCESS IS MEANT TO BE JOYFUL. LET YOURSELF OFF THE HOOK, AND SURRENDER TO THE GUIDANCE YOU'RE RECEIVING. HAVE FUN!

 

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BECOME SUCCESS WITH SPIRITUAL

 

                                                        SPIRITUAL SUCCESS

          

                   * THERE ARE MANY MISCONCEPTIONS WHEN IT COMES TO BEING A SPIRITUAL-MINDED PERSON AND BEING SUCCESSFUL IN THE WORLD.

                   * ONE IS THAT SPIRITUALITY KILLS OUR AMBITIONS AND ZEST TO ACHIEVE. THIS IS FALSE BECAUSE SPIRITUALLY JUST CHANGES OUR MOTIVE TO ACHIEVE. IT MAKES US WANT TO BE HUNGELY SUCCESSFUL SO THAT WE CAN HAVE THE RESOURCES TO HELP OTHERS. THE STORY OF KRISHNA AND ARJUNA IN THE GITA EXPLAINS MORE. FIGHT AND ACHIEVE TO HELP OTHERS, BUT BE INTERNALLY CONTENT IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE.

                  * ANOTHER IS THAT SPIRITUAL PEOPLE GET WALKED OVER IN BUSINESS BECAUSE OF THEIR VALUES. THE STORY OF THE SAGE AND THE SNAKE DESCRIBE HOW WE SHOULD STICK TO OUR VALUES BUT BE METICULOUS AND STRAIGHTFORWARD IN BUSINESS.

                 * THOUGH WE CAN MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS WE DESIRE,AND USE IT TO SERVE, WE SHOULD BE WARY OF ITS POTENTIAL OF DISTRACT US FROM OUR PURPOSE. 

                              AT WORK WE TEND TO COMPARE AND COMPETE WITH OTHERS,

                              INSTEAD OF COMPARING AND COMPETING WITH OURSELVES.

                    BEING THE RICHEST MAN IN THE CEMETERY DOESN'T MATTER TO ME. GOING TO BED AT NIGHT SAYING WE'VE DONE SOMETHING WONDERFUL... THAT'S WHAT MATTER TO ME.

                                                                                                         ---- STEVE JOBS

                 SUMMARY

                       👀 THERE ARE TWO CAUSES OF UNHEALTHY COMPETITION, BEING ENVIOUS OF SOMEONE OR UNCONTROLLED AMBITION.

                        👀 WE COMPETE WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE SAME SKILLS OR OUTLOOK IN LIFE AS US. WHEN ANOTHER PERSON'S SKILLS HAVE NO BEARING ON OUR LIFE, WE RARELY FEEL THREATENED. 

                         👀 COMPETITION IS FOUND IN ALL SPHERE OF LIFE. SOME EXAMPLES INCLUDE SPORTS, BUSINESS, POLITICS AND THE WORKPLACE.

                          👀 JAYMIN'S STORY IS AN EXTEME CASE-STUDY OF UNHEALTHY COMPETITION.

                          👀 HEALTHY COMPETITION IS ABOUT COMPETING WITH OURSELVES RATHER THAN OTHERS TO BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF OURSELVES.

                          👀 THERE WILL ALWAYS BE WORKPLACE POLITICS BUT WE SHOULD LEARN HOW TO MANAGE IT IN A CLEAN WAY.

                                              ASSOCIATION MATTERS

                          OUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE STRONGER WHEN THEY CONTAIN A SPIRITUAL COMPONENT. THERE ARE THREE DIFFERENT WAYS TO BECOME GOOD FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE.

                      TRUTH IS, I'LL NEVER KNOW ALL THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT YOU JUST AS YOU WILL NEVER KNOW ALL THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT ME. HUMANS ARE BY NATURE TOO COMPLICATED TO BE UNDERSTOOD FULLY. SO WE CAN CHOOSE EITHER TO APPROACH OUR FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS WITH SUSPICION OR TO APPROACH THEM WITH A OPEN MIND, A DASH OF OPTIMISM AND A GREAT DEAL OF CANDOUR.

                                                                                                                --- TOM HANKS

                         IT IS HARD TO IMAGINE A LIFE WITHOUT RELATIONSHIPS.THE PRINCIPLE OF RELATIONSHIPS IS AN INHERENT UNIVERSAL ONE THAT GUIDES OUR LIVES. WHAT WOULD LIFE BE IF WE DID NOT HAVE OTHERS TO SHARE IT WITH? THEREFORE, WE MUST LEARN HOW TO DO IT CORRECTLY. ALTHOUGH THIS SKILL IS SELDOM TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS, IT HAS BEEN DOCUMENTED IN ANCIENT SPIRITUAL TEXTS FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS,

                    YOUR ASSOCIATION, CALLED SANGA IN SANSKRIT, IS CRUCIALTO YOUR SUCCESS, IN THIS WORLD AND BEYOND.

                     A MAN OR A WOMAN IS KNOWN BY THE COMPANY THEY KEEP, A FAMOUS ENGLISH PROVERB STATES. THERE IS A FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE EFFECT OF ASSOCIATION. BEFORE THE INDUSTRIAL AGE, A MAN IN A VILLAGE WENT OUT TO PERFORM HIS MORNING ABLUTIONS BECAUSE IN INDIA, IN THOSE DAYS, THEY WOULD NOT HAVE RESTROOMS IN THE HOUSE. AFTER HE WAS DONE, HE GOT UP AND PUT ON HIS DHOTI, TURNED AROUND AND LOOKED AT THE STUFF, AND SAID, DISGUSTING!, I AM SO GOOD-LOOKING AND HANDSOME. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT SOMETHING SO OBNOXIOUS AND NASTY COUL COME FROM ME. TO HIS SURPRISE, THE STUFF SPOKE BACK TO HIM AND SAID, YOU'RE CALLING ME OBNOXIOUS? LAST NIGHT, I WAS  A DELICIOUS SAMOSA. LOOK WHAT A FEW HOURS OF ASSOCIATION WITH YOU HAS DONE TO ME!.

                        OUR ASSOCIATION CAN UPLIFT OR DEPRESS US TO THE LOWEST, LEVELS. WHEN  I TALK ABOUT ASSOCIATION IN THIS CONTENT, I DO NOT MEAN GENERAL INTERACTIONS. IN OUR DAY-TO-DAY LIFE, ALL OF US WILL HAVE TO INTERACT WITH PEOPLE WHO MAY NOT NECESSARILY BE THE BEST INFLUENCE ON US. YET, WE WILL HAVE TO DO THE NEDDFUL AND SUCH INTERACTIONS ARE SIMPLY NEUTRAL DEALINGS HARDLY CAUSING US ANY HARM. ASSOCIATION IS BEYOD OUR NEUTRAL HI-HELLO DEALINGS- IT HAS TO DO WITH THE LEVEL OF INTIMACY WE SHARE WITH OTHERS.

                    ONE ANCIENT TEXT ON RELATIONSHIPS DESCRIBES SIX EXCHANGES THAT CAN CREATE INTIMACY IN PERSONAL DEALINGS:

                  OFFERINGS GIFTS AND ACCEPTING GIFTS, OPEING ONE'S MIND AND INQUIRING IN CONFIDENTS, SHARING FOOD AND RECEIVING FOOD ARE THE SIX EXCHANGES THAT DEVELOP LOVING RELATIONSHIPS.

                 SUMMARY :

                   * OUR ASSOCIATION IS POWERFUL, IT CAN UPLIFT US OR BRING US DOWN.

                  * GENERAL INTERACTIONS ARE DEALINGS MEANT TO DO THE NEEDFUL AND ARE SIMPLY NEUTRAL.

                 * INTIMATE DEALINGS ARE BUILT THROUGH THE EXCHANGE OF THINGS, FOOD, THOUGHTS,  VALUES AND BELIEF SYSTEMS. OUR LIFESTYLE IS AFFECTED MORE BY ANOTHER PERSON'S VALUE SYSTEMS THAN THEIR HABITS.

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