SELF-DISCIPLINE AND COURAGE

 

                                        YOUR COURAGE

                         YOU NEED LARGE AMOUNTS OF SELF-DISCIPLINE TO DEAL COURAGEOUSLY WITH ALL THE FEAR-INDUCING EVENTS OF YOUR LIFE. THIS IS PROBABLY WHY CHURCHILL SAID, "COURAGE IS RIGHTLY CONSIDERED THE FOREMOST OF THE VIRTUES, FOR UPON IT, ALL OTHERS DEPEND".

                           THE FACT IS THAT EVERYONE IS AFRAID - AND USUALLY OF MANY THINGS. THIS IS NORMAL AND NATURAL, OFTEN, FEAR IS NECESSARY TO PRESERVE LIFE, PREVENT INJURY, AND GUARD AGAINST FINANCIAL MISTAKES.

                        SO IF EVERYONE IS AFRAID, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE BRAVE PERSON AND THE COWARD? THE  ONLY DIFFERENCE IS THAT THE BRAVE PERSON DISCIPLINES HIMSELF TO CONFRONT, DEAL WITH, AND ACT IN SPITE OF THE FEAR. IN CONTRAST, THE COWARD ALLOWS HIMSELF TO BE DOMINATED AND CONTROLLED BY THE FEAR. SOMEONE ONCE SAID THAT - WITH REGARD TO WARFARE, ALTHOUGH IT APPLIES TO ANY SITUATION - "THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE HERO AND THE COWARD IS THAT THE HERO STICKS IN THERE FIVE MINUTES LONGER".

                                             FEARS CAN BE UNLEARNED

                    FORTUNATELY, ALL FEARS ARE LEARNED, NO ONE IS BORN WITH FEARS. FEARS CAN THEREFORE BE UNLEARNED BY PRACTICING SELF-FEARS. REPETEDLY WITH REGARD TO FEAR UNTIL IT GOES AWAY.

                 THE MOST COMMON FEARS THAT WE EXPERIENCE, WHICH OFTEN SABOTAGE ALL HOPE FOR SUCCESS, ARE THE FEARS OF FAILURE, POVERTY, AND LOSS OF MONEY.  THESE FEARS CAUSE PEOPLE TO AVOID RISK OF ANY  KIND AND TO REJECT OPPORTUNITY WHEN IT IS PRESENTED TO THEM. THEY ARE SO AFRAID OF FAILURE THAT THEY ARE ALMOST PARALYZED WHEN IT COMES TO TAKING ANY CHANCES AT ALL.

                  THERE ARE MANY OTHER FEARS THAT INTERFERE WITH OUR HAPPINESS. PEOPLE FEAR THE LOSS OF LOVE OR THE LOSS OF THEIR JOBS AND THEIR FINANCIAL SECURITY. PEOPLE FEAR EMBARRASSMENT OR RIDICULE. PEOPLE FEAR REJECTION AND CRITICISM OF ANY KIND. PEOPLE FEAR THE LOSS OF RESPECT OR ESTEEM OF OTHERS. THESE AND MANY FEARS HOLD US BACK THROUGHOUT LIFE.

                                                   FEAR PARALYZES ACTION

                      THE MOST COMMON REACTION IN A FEAR SITUATION IS THE ATTITUDE OF, "I CAN'T!" THIS IS THE FEAR OF FAILURE AND LOSS THAT STOPS US FROM TAKING ACTION. IT IS EXPERIENCED PHYSICALLY, STARTING IN THE SOLAR PLEXUS. WHEN PEOPLE ARE REALLY AFRAID, THEIR MOUTH AND THROAT GO DRY, THEIR HEART STARTS POUNDING. SOMETIMES THEY BREATHE  SHALLOWLY AND THEIR STOMACH CHURNS. OFTEN THEY FEEL LIKE GETTING UP AND RUNNING TO THE BATHROOM.

                      THESE ARE ALL PHYSICAL MANIFESTATIONS OF THE INHIBITIVE NEGATIVE HABIT PATTERNS, WHICH WE ALL EXPERIENCE FROM TIME TO TIME. WHENEVER A PERSON IS IN THE GRIP OF FEAR, HE FEELS LIKE A DEER CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS OF A CAR. THIS FEAR PARALYZES ACTION. IT OFTEN SHUTS DOWN THE BRAIN AND CAUSES THE INDIVIDUAL TO REVERT TO THE FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT" REACTION. FEAR IS A TERRIBLE EMOTION THAT UNDERMINES OUR HAPPINESS AND CAN HOLD US BACK THROUGHOUT OUR HAPPINESS AND CAN HOLD US BACK THROUGHOUT OUR LIVES.

                                                       DO THE OPPORSITE

                    ARISTOTLE DESCRIBED COURAGE AS THE "GOLDEN MEAN" BETWEEN THE EXTREMES OF COWARDICE AND IMPETUOUSNESS. HE TAUGHT THAT "TO DEVELOPE A QUALITY THAT YOU LOOK, ACT AS IF YOU ALREADY HAD THAT QUALITY IN EVERY SITUATION WHERE IT IS CALLED FOR". IN MODERN TERMS, HOWEVER, WE SAY, "FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT".

                     YOU CAN ACTUALLY CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR BY AFFIRMING, VISUALIZING, AND ACTING AS IF YOU ALREAD HAVE THE QUALITY YOU DESIRE. BY AFFIRMING, BY REPEATING THE WORDS, " I CAN DO IT"! EMPHATICALLY WHENEVER YOU FEEL AFRAID FOR ANY REASON, YOU CAN CANCEL THE FEELING OF "I CAN IT".

                 EVERY TIME YOU REPEAT THE WORDS " I CAN DO IT!" WITH CONVICTION, YOU OVERRIDE YOUR FEAR AND INCREASE YOUR CONFIDENCE. BY REPEATING THIS AFFIRMATION OVER AND OVER AGAIN, YOU CAN EVENTUALLY BUILD YOUR COURAGE AND CONFIDENCE TO THE POINT WHERE YOU ARE UNAFRAID.

                                       VISUALIZE YOURSELF AS UNAFRAID

                         BY VISUALIZING YOURSELF PERFORMING WITH CONFIDENCE AND COMPETENCE IN AN AREA WHERE YOU ARE FEARFUL, YOUR VISUAL IMAGE WILL EVENTUALLY BE ACCEPTED BY YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND AS INSTRUCTIONS FOR YOUR PERFORMANCE. YOUR SELF-IMAGE, THE WAY YOU SEE YOURSELF IS EVENTUALLY ALTERED BY FEEDING YOUR MIND THESE POSITIVE MENTAL PICTURES OF YOURSELF PERFORMING AT YOUR BEST.

                    BY USING THE "ACT AS IF" METHOD, YOU WALK, TALK, AND CARRY YOURSELF EXACTLY AS YOU WOULD IF YOU WERE COMPLETELY UNAFRAID IN A PARTICULAR SITUATION. YOU STAND UP STRAIGHT, SMILE, MOVE QUICKLY AND CONFIDENTLY, AND IN EVERY RESPECT ACT AS IF YOU ALREADY HAD THE COURAGE THAT YOU DESIRE.

                   THE LAW OF REVERSIBILITY SAYS THAT "IF YOU FEEDL A CERTAIN WAY, YOU WILL ACT IN A MANNER CONSISTENT WITH THAT FEELING, EVEN IF YOU ACT IN A MANNER CONSISTET WITH THAT FEELING. BUT IF YOU ACT  IN A MANNER CONSISTENT WITH THAT FEELING, EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL IT, THE LAW OF REVERSIBILITY WILL CREATE THE FEELING THAT IS CONSISTENT WITH YOUR ACTIONS.

                  THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST BREAKTHROUGHS IN SUCCESS PSYCHOLOGY. YOU DEVELOP THE COURAGE YOU DESIRE BY DISCIPLINING YOURSELF REPEATEDLY TO DO THE THING YOU FEAR UNTIL THAT FEAR EVENTUALLY DISSAPPEARS - AND IT WILL.

CHILDREN GROWTH

 

                   YOUR GREATEST RESPONSIBILITY

                            WHEN YOU HAVE A CHILD, A HIGH LEVEL OF SELF-DISCIPLINE IS ESSENTIAL IN ORDER TO FULFILL YOUR COMMITMENT AND DELIVER ON YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. THE DAY YOUR FIRST CHILD IS BORN, YOU HAVE TAKEN ON A MINIMUM TWENTY-YEAR COMMITMENT TO DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO RAISE YOUR CHILD AS A HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND SELF-CONFIDENT ADULT.

                         AT EVERY STAGE OF YOUR CHILD'S LIFE, YOUR WORDS, ACTIONS, NONACTIONS, AND BEHAVIORS ARE SHAPING AND INFLUENCING THAT CHILD AND DETERMINING HOW HE OR SHE WILL TURN OUT AS AN ADULT.

                        THE GREATEST NEED THAT A CHILD HAS IS FOR AN UNBROKEN FLOW OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE FROM HIS OR HER PARENTS. CHILDREN NEED LOVE ALMOST AS MUCH AS THEY NEED OXYGEN. THE AMOUNT OF LOVE THAT A CHILD RECEIVES, ESPECIALLY IN HIS OR HER FORMATIVE YEARS, IS THE CRITICAL DETERMINANT OF HOW HEALTHY AND HAPPY HE OR SHE BECOMES AS AN ADULT.

                                         HOW CHILDREN SPEEL "LOVE"

                   HOW DOES A CHILD SPELL "LOVE"? T-I-M-E . CHILDREN DETERMINE HOW VALUABLE AND IMPORTANT THEY ARE AND DEVELOP THEIR SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-WORTH BY MEASURING THE AMOUNT OF TIME THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN THEIR LIVES SPEND WITH THEM WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG. THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR TIME, AND ONCE GONE, YOU CANNOT MAKE IT UP. PERHAPS THE GREATEST REGRET REPORTED BY PARENTS IS THAT "I DIDN'T SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH MY CHILD WHEN HE OR SHE WAS YOUNG".

                    WHEN YOU BECOME A PARENT, YOU MUST DISCIPLINE YOURSELF AND ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE SO YOU CAN SPEND AMPLE TIME WITH YOUR CHILD THROUGHOUT HIS OR HER GROWING YEARS. YOU MUST DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO CUT BACK, REDUCE, DOWNSIZE, AND ELIMINATE OTHER ACTIVITIES THAT PREVENT YOU FROM BEING AND  EXCELLENT PARENT.

                                             SETTING NEW PRIORITIES'

                          WHEN YOU GET MARRIED, YOUR LIFE GOES THROUGH A MAJOR SHIFT. YOUR LIFESTYLE CHANGES, AND MANY OF YOUR COMMON ACTIVITIES LOSE THEIR IMPORTANCE AND URGENCY.

                     WHEN YOUR FIRST CHILD IS BORN, YOUR LIFE SHIFTS AGAIN, IT OFTEN FEELS AS IF THE FIRST STAGE OF A ROCKET, AND YOU ARE NOW ON A DIFFERENT TRAJECTORY IN LIFE. INFACT, IT IS NOT UNCOMMON FOR COUPLES TO CHANGE THEIR LIVES COMPLETELY WHEN THEIR FIRST CHILD IS BORN. THEY CUT BACK OR DISCONTINUE MANY OF THEIR PREVIOUS SOCIAL ACTIVITIES. THEY STOP DINING AND DRINKING WITH FRIENDS, AND THEY STOP GOING OUT SOCIALLY ON THE WEEKENDS.

                    THEY BEGIN TO BUILD A DIFFERENT LIFE TOGETHER AROUND THEIR HOME AND CHILDREN. THE CHILDREN BECOME THE FOCUS OF THEIR TIME AND ATTENTION. THE CHILDREN BECOME THE PRIMARY SUBJECT OF THEIR CONVERSATIONS.

                  RESPONSIBLE PARENTS APPROACH  CHILDREARING AS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THEIR LIVES. THEY PLAN AND ORGANIZE THEIR TIME AND ACTIVITIES SO THEY CAN FULLFILL THIS RESPONSIBILITY AT A HIGH LEVEL.

                       

                                                 LONG-TERM THINKING

                      CHILDREN FORCE YOU TO THINK LONG-TERM. WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO OR FAIL DO WITH YOUR CHILDREN IN THEIR FORMATIVE YEARS WILL HAVE A LASTING IMPACT FOR GENERATIONS TO COME, YOU BECOME FAR MORE THOUGHTFUL AND SENSITIVE TO THE THINGS YOU SAY AND THE WAY YOU TREAT THEM. 

                        WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG AND SINGLE, YOU CAN "LET IT ALL HANG OUT". YOU CAN BLOW UP, GET ANGRY, EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS FREELY, AND "BE YOUR OWN PERSON". BUT WHEN YOU HAVE A CHILD, YOU NEED TO IMPORSE A HIGHER LEVEL OF DISCIPLINE AND SELF-CONTROL ON YOURSELF.

                     CHILDREN ARE HYPERSENSITIVE TO THE INFLUENCE OF THEIR PARENTS DURING THEIR FORMATIVE YEARS. THEY SEE AND EXPERIENCE EACH WORD AND REACTION OF THERI PARENTS, AND THEY INCORPORATE THOSE WORDS AND ACTIONS INTO THEIR WORLD VIEW AND SELF-IMAGE.

                    IN ALMOST EVERY CASE, WHEN YOU SEE A DYSFUNTIONAL ADULT, YOU CAN TRACE IT BACK TO DYSFUNCTIONAL PARENTING. WHEN THAT DYSFUNCTIONAL ADULT WAS A CHILD, THEIR PARENTS DID OR SAID THINGS TO THEM THAT HURT THEM, CONFUSED THEM, SCARED THEM, AND CREATED WITHIN THEM FEELINGS OF INSECURITY, ANGER, AND INFERIORITY.

                                               THE GREATEST GIFT IS LOVE

                      THE GREATEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE CHILDREN IS TO LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU LOVE THEM 100 PERCENT OF THE TIME AND THAT YOUR LOVE FOR THEM NEVER CHANGES, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS.

                         THERE IS NO GREATER BLESSING FOR CHILDREN THAN TO KNOW WITH COMPLETE CONFIDENCE THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN THEIR LIFE - THEIR PARENTS - LOVE THEM COMPLETELY AND ACCEPT THEM TOTALLY, NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO OR WHAT MISTAKES THEY MAKE.

                        CHILDREN ARE NOT LITTLE ADULTS. THEY DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO MAKE GOOD JUDGMENTS ABOUT THE RIGHT OR WRONG THINGS TO DO. IT TAKES THEM MANY YEARS OF TRIAL AND ERROR AND SOMETIMES BITTER EXPERIENCES TO DEVELOP THE WISDOM AND JUDGMENT THAT ENABLE THEM TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR THEMSELVES AND THEIR FUTURES.

                         THE KINDEST WAY TO TREAT YOUR CHILDREN WHEN THEY MAKE MISTAKES IS TO BEHAVE WITH CALMNESS AND COMPASSION AND TO HELP THEM LEARN THE LESSONS CONTAINED IN THE PROBLEM OR DIFFICULTY.

EXPLANATION OF MARRIAGE LIFE

 

                        

                                BE WILLING TO CHANGE

                  EVERY MARRIAGE IS A "WORK IN PROGRESS" . AS TIME PASSES, THE NATUREOF YOUR MARRIAGE WILL CHANGE, USUALLY IN POSSITIVE AND CONSTRUCTIVE WAYS.

                   TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP HAPPY, HARMONIOUS, AND GROWING, YOU MUST BE WILLING TO CHANGE IN RESPONSE TO CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES, ESPECIALLY HAVING CHILDREN AND WATCHING THEM GROW UP. YOU NEED TO BE PREPARED TO CHANGE WITH AGE, NEW JOBS AND CAREERS, PHYSICAL MOVES FROM ONE PART OF THE COUNTRY TO ANOTHER, CHANGES IN FINANCIAL CIRCUMSTANCES, AND CHANGES IN HEALTH. FLEXIBILITY IS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL TO A LONG, HAPPY MARRIAGE.

                 THERE ARE FOUR WAYS THAT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE. FIRST, YOU CAN DO MORE OF SOME THINGS. SECOND, YOU CAN DO LESS OF OTHER THINGS. THIRD, YOU CAN START SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE. AND FOURTH, YOU CAN STOP CERTAIN THINGS ALTOGETHER. WHENEVER YOU ARE EXPERIENCING RESISTANCE OR FRUSTRATION OR YOU ARE CONFRONTED WITH THE NEED FOR CHANGE, ASK YOURSELF, "IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I NEED TO DO MORE OF, LESS OF, START, OR STOP DOING"?

                                 THE FOUR QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK

                    ON A REGULAR BASIS, YOU SHOULD SIT DOWN WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND LATER WITH YOUR CHILDREN TO HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK THEM THESE FOUR QUESTION:

                    1. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I AM DOING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO DO MORE OFF?

                    2. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I AM DOING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO DO LESS OF?

                   3. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO START DOING THAT I AM NOT DOING TODAY?

                  4. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I AM DOING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO STOP DOING ALTOGETHER?

                   WHEN YOU HAVE THE COURAGE AND DISCIPLINE TO ASK THESE QUESTION OF YOUR SPOUSE AND YOUR CHILDREN ON A REGULAR BASIS, YOU WILL BE AMAZED AT THE QUALITY AND DEPTH OF THE ANSWERS YOU RECEIVE. YOU WILL GET CONTINUAL GUIDANCE ON HOW YOU CAN MODIFY AND ADJUST YOUR BEHAVIOR TO MAINTAIN HIGHER LEVELS OF HARMONY, HAPPINESS, AND LOVE WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND THE OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY.

                         YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD BE YOUR BEST FRIEND

                          LOVE AND MARRIAGE ARE PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENTS OF A HAPPY, FULFILLING LIFE. THEY REQUIRE A LIFELONG EXERCISE OF SELF-DISCIPLINE AND WILLPOWER TO CREATE AND MAINTAIN HARMONY. THEY REQUIRE THAT YOU BE OPEN, HONEST, AND CANDID AT ALL TIMES.

                   MOST OF ALL, A HAPPY, A LOVING MARRIAGE REQUIRES THAT YOU SEE YOUR SPOUSE AS YOUR BESTFRIEND. THERE SHOULD BE NO ONE IN THE WORLD WHO YOU WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME  WITH MORE THAN HIM OR HER. THERE SHOULD BE NO ONE WITH WHOM YOU ARE MORE OPEN AND HONEST THAN WITH HIM OR HER. WHEN YOU SEE YOUR SPOUSE AS YOUR BEST FRIEND AND TREAT HIM OR HER AS SUCH, YOU CAN CREATE A LOVING RELATIONSHIP THAT LASTS ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIVES.

                   AS EMMER FOX, A SPIRITUAL WRITER AND TEACHER, WROTE,

                    LOVE IS BY FAR THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL. IT CASTS OUT FEAR. IT IS THE FULFILLING OF THE LAW. IT COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SINS. LOVE IS ABSOLUTELY INVINCIBLE.

                    THERE IS NO DIFFICULTY THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT CURE, NO DISEASE THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT HEAL, NO DOOR THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT OPEN, NO GULF THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT BRIDGE, NO WALL THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT THROW DOWN, NO SIN THAT ENOUGH LOVE WILL NOT REDEEM.

                    IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE HOW DEEPLY SEATED MAY BE THE TROUBLE, HOW HOPELESS THE OUTLOOK, HOW MUDDLED THE TANGLE, HOW GREAT THE MISTAKE, A SUFFICIENT REALIZATION OF LOVE WILL DISSOLVE IT ALL.

                     IF ONLY YOU COULD LOVE ENOUGH YOU WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST AND MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE WORLD.

                      IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, YOU WILL LEARN SPECIFICALLY WHY SELF-DICIPLINE IS SO IMPORTANT WHEN RAISING HAPPY, HEALTHY, AND SELF-CONFIDENT CHILDREN.

                                                      ACTION EXERCISES :

                      1. WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SINGLE ACTION YOU COULD TAKE, RIGHT NOW, TO INCREASE THE LOVE AND HARMONY IN YOUR MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP?

                     2. WHAT DISCIPLINES OR PRACTICES COULD YOU DEVELOP THAT WOULD IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF YOUR MARRIAGE FOR THE OTHER PERSON?

                    3. IDENTIFY ONE BEHAVIOR YOU COULD ENGAGE IN THAT WOULD IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATIONS IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

                    4. SIT DOWN WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND ASK HIM/HER FOR IDEAS FOR THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD DO MORE OF , LESS OF, START, OR STOP DOING.

                    5. IDENTIFY THE TWO QUALITIES THAT YOU MOST ADMIRE IN YOUR PARTNER.

                    6. IDENTIFY THE AREAS IN WHICH YOU AND YOUR PARTNER ARE THE MOST COMPATIBLE.

                   7. IDENTIFY THE MOST IMPORTANT VALUES THAT YOU AND YOUR PARTNER SHARE.

ABOUT MARRIAGE LIFE

 

                         THE KEY TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

                   PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS COMPATIBILITY. THE TWO PEOPLE ARE IDEALLY BALANCED WITH EACH OTHERS, WITH EACH ONE POSSESSING COMLPLEMENTARY QUALITIES AND CHARACTERISTICS THAT COMBINE COMFORTABLY TO FORM A PERFECT BALANCE.

                  PEOPLE OFTEN SAY THAT "OPPOSITE ATTRACT". THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING. OPPOSITES ATTRACT IN ONLY ONE AREA, AND THAT IS TEMPERAMENT. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MOST COMPATIBLE WITH A PERSON WHO HAS AN OPPOSITE OR COUNTERBALANCING TEMPERAMENT TO YOUR OWN.

                       FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU ARE OUTGOING AND EXTROVERTED, YOU WILL BE MOST COMPATIBLE WITH A PERSON WHO IS MORE RESERVERD AND SELF-CONTAINED. IF YOU ARE VOLUBLE AND EXPRESSIVE, YOU WILL BE MOST COMPATIBLE WITH A PERSON WHO IS RELAXED AND GOOD LISTENER. NATURE DEMANDS A BALANCE IN TEMPERAMENT FOR TWO PEOPLE TO BE COMPATIBLE AND HAPPY TOGETHER.

                                                     BIRDS OF A FEATHER

                 IN ALL OTHER AREAS, ESPECIALLY IN THE AREA OF VALUES, IT IS SIMILARITIES THAT ATTRACT. BIRDS OF A FEATHER, DO FLOCK TOGETHER. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE AND MOST COMPATIBLE WITH THOSE WHO HAVE THE GREATER NUMBER OF FUNDAMENTAL VALUES IN COMMON WITH YOURSELF.

                ALL OF LOVE, OF ANY KIND, IS A RESPONSE TO VALUE. WE LOVE WHAT WE MOST VALUE, REGARDING, THEY SEEM TO HAVE VERY MUCH THE SAME VALUES REGARDING FAMILY, MONEY, ETHICS, WORK, CHILDREN, POLITICS, RELIGION, AND PEOPLE.

             PEOPLE WILL OFTEN POINT OUT THAT THERE ARE HAPPY COUPLES WHO VOTE FOR DIFFERENT PARTIES OR COME FROM DIFFERENT RELIGIOUS BACKGROUNDS. BUT THE CRITICAL ISSUE IN BALANCE AND HARMONY REVOLVES AROUND THE UNTENSITY WITH WHICH A PERSON VALUES SOMETHING. THIS INTENSITY DETERMINES IF A PERSON VALUES SOMETHING. THIS INTENSITY DETERMINES IF A PERSON IS ABSOLUTE AND UNBENDING OR RELAXED AND FLEXIBLE IN HIS OR HER ADHERENCE TO A PARTICULAR BELIEF ABOUT A PARTICULAR PART OF LIFE.

               PEOPLE CAN LOVE AND LIVE TOGETHER HAPPILY FOR MANY YEARS EVEN THOUGH THEY SUPPORT DIFFERENT POLITICAL PARTIES, AS LONG AS POLITICAL BELIEF IS NOT SO IMPORTANT TO EITHER OF THEM THAT IT TAKES PRECEDENCE OVER MORE IMPORTANT ELEMENTS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP SUCH AS CHILDREN, FAMILY, AND VALUES.

                                   LOVE IS OUR GREATEST NEED IN LIFE

                IT IS SAID THAT "EVERYTHING WE DO IN LIFE IS EITHER TO GET LOVE, OR TO COMPENSATE FOR A LACK OF LOVE". PSYCHOLOGISTS GENERALLY AGREE THAT THE ROOT CAUSE OF PERSONALITY PROBLEMS IN ADULT LIFE CAN BE TRACED BACK TO "LOVE WITHHELD" IN INFANCY AND CHILDHOOD.

                PEOPLE NEED LOVE LIKE ROSES NEED RAIN. WITHOUT SUFFICIENT LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE, INDIVIDUALS EXHIBIT ALL KINDS OF PERSONALITY AND PHYSICAL PROBLEMS. IT IS ONLY POSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY WHEN YOUR NEEDS FOR LOVE ARE COMPLETELY FULFILLED.

                 A HAPPY MARRIAGE REQUIRES TREMENDOUS SELF-DISCIPLINE AND SELF-CONTROL. LOVE REQUIRES SELF-DENIAL AND SACRIFICE. WHEN YOU ARE TRULY IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER PERSON, THAT PERSON'S HAPPINESA AND WELL-BEING BECOME MORE IMPORTANT THAT YOUR OWN. YOU ARE WILLING TO PAY WHATEVER PRICE AND MAKE WHATEVER SACRIFICE IN ORDER TO ENSURE THE WELL-BEING OF THE PERSON YOU LOVE.

                 IN THE CHRISTIAN BIBLE IN A LETTER TO THE CORINTHIANS,THE APOSTLE PAUL SAYS, "LOVE SUFFERETH LONG, AND IS KIND, LOVE ENVIETH NOT, LOVE AVENGETH NOT ITSELF, IS NOT PUFFED UP.

                " LOVE DOTH NOT BEHAVE ITSELF UNSEEMLY, SEEKETH NOT HIS OWN, IS NOT EASILY PROVOKED, THINKETH NO EVIL.

                   LOVE REJOICES NOT IN INIQUITY, BUT REJOICES IN THE TRUTH, 

                    LOVE BEARETH ALL THINGS, BELIEVETH ALL THINGS, HOPETH ALL THINGS, ENDURETH ALL THINGS. LOVE NEVER FAILS".

                                   DIFFERENT STROKES REQUIRE

                                          TOLERANCE AND UNDERSTANDING

                      EACH PERSON IS AN INDIVIDUAL, WITH UNIQUE AND SPECIAL CHARACTERISTICS THAT MAKE HIM OR HER DIFFERENT FROM ALL OTHER PEOPLE. EACH PERSON HAS DIFFERENT IDEAS, TASTES, DESIRES, HOPES, DREAMS, AND EXPECTATIONS. EACH PERSON HAS HAD DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES AND DEVELOPED DIFFERENT WAYS OF SEEING AND DEALING WITH THE WORLD AROUND HIM OR HER.

                    WHEN YOU COME TOGETHER WITH ANOTHER PERSON IN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP, NO MATTER HOW CLOSE YOU FEEL TO EACH OTHER AND NO MATTER HOW COMPATIBLE YOU MAY BE IN MANY WAYS, YOU WILL STILL HAVE AREAS OF DIAGREEMENT, DISSATISFACTION, AND DISCONTENT. THIS IS NORMAL AND NATURAL AND SOMETHING TO BE WORKED THROUGH BY PRACTICING SELF-DISCIPLINE WHENEVER THESE DIFFERENCES OCCUR.

                  SELF-DISCIPLINE IN A RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES THAT YOU BE COMPLETELY HONEST AND OPEN, THAT YOU BE YOURSELF AND NEVER TRY TO BE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE. SELF-DISCIPLINE AND HONESTY REQUIRE THAT YOU STATE CLEARLY WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AND FEELING, WITHOUT ANGER OR IRRITATION, AND THAT YOU LISTEN CALMLY AND PATIENTLY TO THE FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, AND OPINIONS OF THE OTHER PERSON.

PERSONAL HEALTH

 

        

                            SEVEN KEY HEALTH HABITS

                        THE ALAMEDA STUDY, COVERING MANY THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE FOR MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS, CONCLUDED THERE WERE SEVEN KEY HEALTH HABITS THAT CONTRIBUTED THE MOST TO LONG LIFE.

                   1. EAT REGULARLY RATHER THAN FASTING, STARVING, OR GORGING. EAR NORMAL, HEALTHY MEALS, PREFERABLY FIVE OR SIX TIMES PER DAY, WITH YOUR LAST MEAL FULLY THREE HOURS BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP. 

                   2. EAT LIGHTLY : OVEREATING MAKES YOU TIRED AND SLUGGISH, WHEREAS EATING LIGHTLY MAKES YOU FEEL HEALTHY AND ALERT. AS THOMAS JEFFERSON WROTE, "NO ONE EVER REGRETTED EATING TOO LITTLE AFTER A MEAL".

                  3. DON'T SNACK BETWEEN MEALS : WHEN YOU EAT, YOUR BODY HAS TO BREAK DOWN AND DIGEST THE FOODS IN YOUR STOMACH SO THAT THEY CAN MOVE INTO YOUR SMALL INTESTINE. THIS REQUIRES FOUR TO FIVE HOURS. IF YOU PUT FOOD IN ON TOP OF FOOD THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY EATEN, THE DIGESTIVE PROCESS MUST START OVER AGAIN, WITH PART OF YOUR FOOD THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY EATEN, THE DIGESTIVE PROCESS MUST START OVER AGAIN, WITH PART OF YOUR FOOD AT ONE STAGE OF DIGESTION AND ANOTHER PART OF YOUR GOOD AT ANOTHER STAGE. THIS LEADS TO UPSET STOMACH, HEARTBURN, DROWSINESS (ESPECIALLY IN THE AFTERNOON) AND CONSTIPATION.

                  4. EXERCISE REGULARLY : THE IDEAL IS ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES A DAY, OR TWO HUNDRED MINUTES PER WEEK. YOU CAN ACHIEVE THIS BY WALKING, RUNNING, SWIMMING, AND / OR USING EXERCISE EQUIPMENT. YOU SHOULD FULLY ARTICULATE EVERY JOINT EVERY DAY.

                   5. WEAR A SEATBELT : RIGHT UP TO AGE THIRTY-FIVE, THE MOST COMMON CAUSE OF PREMATURE DEATH IS TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS.

                 6. DON'T SMOKE : SMOKING IS CORRELATED WITH THIRTY TWO DIFFERENT ILLNESS INCLUDING LUNG CANCER, ESOPHAGEAL CANCER, THROAT CANCER, STOMACH CANCER, HEART DESEASE AND A VARIETY OF OTHER AILMENTS.

                7. DRINK ALCOHOL IN MODERATION : STUDIES SHOW THAT ONE TO TWO GLASSESS OF WINE PER DAY AID DIGESTION AND SEE TO BE BENEFICIAL TO YOUR OVERALL HEALTH. ANYTHING IN EXCESS OF THAT CAN LEAD TO ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS, INCLUDING OVEREATING, TRAFFIC ACCIDENTS, PERSONALITY PROBLEMS, AND ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOR.

                  EACH OF THESE SEVEN FACTORS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO LONG LIFE ARE COMPLETELY A MATTER OF SELF-DISCIPLINE. THESE SEVEN FACTORS ARE A MATTER OF CHOICE. THEY ARE ACTIONS THAT YOU CAN CHOOSE TO TAKE OR NOT TAKE DELIBERATELY. THEY ARE COMPLETELY UNDER YOUR CONTROL.

                                THE FIVE PS OF EXCELLENT HEALTH

                    IN MY PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT SEMINARS, WE TEACH THE FIVE "PS" OF EXCELLENT HEALTH;

                       1. PROPER WEIGHT : THIS REQUIRES THE REGULAR EXERCISE OF DISCIPLINE AND WILLPOWER IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE YOUR PROPER WEIGHT AND THEN TO MAINTAIN IT THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE, BUT THE PAYOFF IS TREMENDOUS. YOU LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD, AND GENERALLY FEEL MORE POSITIVE AND IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE.

                      2. PROPER DIET : AS BENJAMIN FRANKLIN SAID, "EAT TO LIVE, RATHER THAN LIVE TO EAT". ACCORDING TO STUDIES OF OLYMPIC ATHLETS FROM MORE THAN 120 COUNTRIES, THE THREE FACTORS THEIR DIETS HAVE IN COMMON ARE

                            * LEAN-SOURCE PROTEIN;

                            * A WIDE VARIETY OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES; AND 

                            * LOTS OF WATER, ABOUT EIGHT GLASSESS PER DAY.

                    WHEN YOU BEGIN THIS "OLYPIC DIET" , YOU WILL FEEL MORE ALERT, AWAKE, AND AWARE ALL DAY LONG.

                       3. PROPER EXERCISE : THE MOST IMPORTANT EXERCISE FOR LONG LIFE IS AEROBIC EXERCISE. THIS REQUIRES THAT YOU GET YOUR HEART RATE UP TO A HIGH LEVEL FOR THIRTY TO SIXTY MINUTES THREE TIMES PER WEEK. YOU CAN ACHIEVE THIS THROUGH BRISK WALKING, RUNNING, CYCLING, SWIMMING, OR CROSS-COUNTRY SKING.

                     EXERCISE PHYSIOLOGISTS HAVE DETERMINED THAT THE "EXERCISE EFFECT" CLICKS IN AT ABOUT TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES OF VIGOROUS EXERCISE. AT THIS POINT, YOUR BRAIN RELEASES ENDORPHINS THAT GIVE YOU A FEELING OF ELATION, OR WHICH IS CALLED A "RUNNER'S HIGH". THIS NATURAL DRUG PRODUCED BY YOUR BODY CAN BECOME ADDICTIVE IN A VERY POSITIVE WAY.

                    PEOPLE WHO DEVELOP THE HABIT OF REGULAR, VIGOROUS EXERCISE FIND THAT IT BECOMES EASIER AND EASIER TO DO. THEY BEGIN TO LOOK FORWARD TO THE FEELING OF HAPPINESS THEY ENJOY AS THE RESULT OF EXERCISING AEROBICALLY.

                   4. PROPER REST : THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. MORE THAN 60 PERCENT OF ADULTS DO NOT GET ENOUGH SLEEP. THEY ARE SUFFERING FROM WHAT IS CALLED A "SLEEP DEFICIT". THEY GO TO BED A LITTLE BIT TOO LATE, SLEEP POORLY, ARISE A LITTLE BIT TOO EARLY, AND GO THROUGH THE DAY IN A FORM OF "FOG". THIS PHENOMENON OF NOT BEING SUFFICIENTLY RESTED LEADS TO POOR PERFORMANCE, MORE MISTAKES, INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENTS, CAR CRASHES, SHORT TEMPERS, PERSONALITY PROBLEMS, AND MANY OTHER DIFFICULTIES.

                  IF YOU ARE LIVING AND WORKING A NORMAL LIFE, YOU REQUIRE ABOUT EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP EACH NIGHT. IF YOU GET ONLY SIX OR SEVEN HOURS OF SLEEP WHEN YOU ACTUALLY REQUIRE EIGHT, YOU BEGIN TO BUILD UP THIS SLEEP DEFICIT. BY THURSDAY OR FRIDAY, WHEN YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING, THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF IS HOW SOON YOU CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP AGAIN THAT NIGHT. WHEN YOU START THINKING ABOUT GOING TO SLEEP AGAIN AT THE MOMENT THAT YOU ARE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP.

              IN ADDITION TO EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP OR NIGHT, YOU  NEED  REGULAR BREAKS FROM WORK, BOTH WEEKENDS AND VACATIONS. WHEN YOU TAKE TIME OFF FROM WORK, YOU ALLOW YOUR MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL BATTERIES TO RECHARGE. AFTER A TWO - OR THREE - DAY WEEKEND, WHEN  YOU GO BACK TO WORK, YOU WILL BE FULLY RESTED AND READY TO PERFORM AT YOUR BEST.

                 5. PROPER ATTITUDE : THIS IS PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL. THE QUALITY THAT IS MOST PRDICTIVE OF HEALTH, HAPPINESS, AND LONG LIFE IS "OPTIMISM". AS YOU BECOME MORE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT YOURSELF AND YOUR LIFE, YOUR HEALTH WILL ALSO BETTER IN EVERY AREA.

                   PEOPLE WHO ARE POSITIVE AND OPTIMISTIC USUALLY HAVE STRONGER IMMUNE SYSTEM, AND AS A RESULT, THEY ARE SELDOM SICK. THEY SELDOM GET COLDS OR FLU. THEY BOUNCE BACK QUICKLY FROM HARD WORK OR FAILURE. AN OPTIMISTIC PERSON HAS A BUILT-IN "TEFLON SHIELD" AGAINST MANY OF THE DISEASES AND AILMENTS THAT AFFECT THE AVERAGE PERSON.

THE SEVEN-STEP METHOD TO ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS

 

      

                  FEW STEPS TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS

                        THERE ARE SEVEN SIMPLE STEPS THAT YOU CAN FOLLOW TO SET AND ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS FASTER. THERE ARE MORE COMPLEX AND DETAINLED GOAL-ACHIEVING METHODOLOGIES, BUT THIS SEVEN-STEP METHOD WILL ENABLE YOU TO ACCOMPLISH TEN TIMES MORE THAN YOU HAVE EVER ACCOMPLISHED BEFORE, AND YOU WILL DO SO FAR FASTER THAN YOU CAN CURRENTLY IMAGINE.

                           STEP 1 

                                  DECIDE EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT

                       BE SPECIFIC. IF YOU WANT TO INCREASE YOUR INCOME, DECIDE ON A SPECIFIC AMOUNT OF MONEY RATHER THAN TO JUST "MAKE MORE MONEY".

                             STEP 2

                                       WRITE IT DOWN

                       A GOAL THAT IS NOT IN WRITING IS LIKE CIGARETTE SMOKE. IT DRIFTS AWAY AND DISAPPEARS. IT IS VAGUE AND INSUBSTANTIAL. IT HAS NO FORCE, EFFECT, OR POWER. BUT A WRITTEN GOAL BECOMES SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN SEE, TOUCH, ROAD, AND MODIFY IF NECESSARY.

                              STEP 3

                                        SET A DEADLINE FOR YOUR GOAL

                          PICK A REASONABLE TIME PERIOD AND WRITE DOWN THE DATE WHEN YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE IT. IF IT IS BIG ENOUGH GOAL, SET A FINAL DEADLINE AND THEN SET SUBDEADLINES OR INTERIM STEPS BETWEEN WHERE YOU ARE TODAY AND WHERE YOU WANT TO BE IN THE FUTURE.

                        A DEADLINES SERVES AS A "FORCING SYSTEM" IN YOUR BRAIN. JUST AS YOU OFTEN GET MORE DONE WHEN YOU ARE UNDER THE PRESSURE OF A SPECIFIC DEADLINE, YOUR SUBCONSIOUS MIND WORKS FASTER AND MORE EFFICIENTLY WHEN YOU HAVE DECIDED THAT YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE A GOAL BY A SPECIFIC TIME.

                     THE RULE IS "THERE ARE NO UNREALISTIC GOALS, THERE ARE ONLY UNREALISTIC DEADLINES".

                     WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU DON'T ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL BY YOUR DEADLINE? SIMPLE. YOU SET ANOTHER DEADLINE. A DEADLINES IS JUST A "GUESSTIMATE". SOMETIMES YOU WILL ACHIVE YOUR GOAL BEFORE THE DEADLINES, SOMETIMES AT THE DEADLINE, AND SOMETIMES AFTER THE DEADLINES.

                    WHEN YOU SET YOUR GOAL, IT WILL BE WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF A CERTAIN SET OF EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES. BUT THESE CIRCUMSTANCES MAY CHANGE, CAUSING YOU TO CHANGE YOUR DEADLINES AS WELL.

                              STEP 4

                     MAKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL

                       AS HENRY FORD SAID, "THE BIGGEST GOALS CAN BE ACCOMPLISHED IF YOU JUST BREAK IT DOWN INTO ENOUGH SMALL STEPS"

                     * MAKE A LIST OF THE OBSTACLES AND DIFFICULTIES THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO OVERCOME, BOTH EXTERNAL AND INTERNAL, IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL.

                     * MAKE A LIST OF THE ADDITIONAL KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS THAT YOU WILL NEED IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL.

                     * MAKE A LIST OF THE PEOPLE WHOSE COOPERATION AND SUPPORT YOU WILL REQUIRE TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL.

                   * MAKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU CAN THINK OF THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO DO, AND THEN ADD TO THIS LIST AS NEW TASKS AND RESPONSIBILITIES OCCUR TO YOU. KEEP WRITING UNTIL YOUR LIST IS COMPLETE.

                      STEP 5

                              ORGANIZE YOUR LIST BY BOTH SEQUENCE AND PRIORITY

                             A LIST OF ACTIVITIES ORGANIZED BY SEQUENCES REQUIRES THAT YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FIRST, WHAT YOU NEED TO DO SECOND, AND WHAT YOU NEED TO DO LATER ON. IN ADDITION, A LIST ORGANIZED BY PRIORITY ENABLES YOU TO DETERMINE WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT AND WHAT IS LESS IMPORTANT.

                         SOMETIMES SEQUENCES AND PRIORITY ARE THE SAME, BUT OFTEN THEY ARE NOT. FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU WANT TO START A PARTICULAR KIND OF BUSINESS, THE FIRST ITEM IN ORDER OF SEQUENCE MIGHT BE FOR YOU TO PURCHASE A BOOK OR ENROLL IN A COURSE ON THAT BUSINESS.

                      BUT WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IS YOUR ABILITY TO DEVELOP A BUSINESS PLAN, BASED ON COMPLETE MARKET RESEARCH, THAT YOU CAN USE TO GATHER THE RESOURCES YOU NEED AND ACTUALLY START THE BUSINESS YOU HAVE IN MIND.

                            STEP 6

                 TAKE ACTION ON YOUR PLAN IMMEDIATELY

                           TAKE THE FIRST STEP - AND THEN THE SECOND STEP AND THE THIRD STEP. GET GOING, GET BUSSY. MOVE QUICKLY. DON'T DELAY. REMEMBER: PROCRASTINATION IS NOT ONLY THE THIEF OF TIME, IT IS THE THIEF OF LIFE.

                         THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SUCCESSESS AND FAILURES IN LIFE IS SIMPLY THAT WINNERS TAKE THE FIRST STEP. THEY ARE ACTION-ORIENTED. AS THEY SAID IN STAR TREK, THEY "GO BOLDLY WHERE NO MAN HAS EVER GONE BEFORE. "WINNERS ARE WILLING TO TAKE ACTION WITH NO GUARANTEES OF SUCCESS. THOUGH THEY'RE WILLING TO FACE FAILURE AND DISAPPOINTMENT, THEY'RE ALWAYS WILLING TO TAKE ACTION.

                       STEP 7

                               DO SOMETHING EVERY DAY THAT MOVES YOU IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR MAJOR GOAL

                          THIS IS THE KEY STEP THAT WILL GUARANTEE YOUR SUCCESS. DO SOMETHING, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, 365 DAYS A YEAR. DO ANYTHING THAT MOVES YOU AT LEAST ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE GOAL THAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU AT THAT TIME.

                       WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING EVERY DAY THAT MOVES YOU IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR GOAL, YOU DEVELOP MOMENTUM. THIS MOMENTUM, THIS SENSE OF FORWARD MOTION, MOTIVATES, INSPIRES, AND ENERGIZES YOU. AS YOU DEVELOP MOMENTUM. YOU WILL FIND IT INCREASINGLY EASY TO TAKE EVEN MORE STEPS TOWARD YOUR GOAL.

                      IN NO TIME AT ALL, YOU WILL HAVE DEVELOPED THE DISCIPLINE OF SETTING AND ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS. IT WILL SOON BECOME EASY AND AUTOMATIC. YOU WILL SOON DEVELOP THE HABIT AND THE DISCIPLINE OF WORKING TOWARD YOUR GOALS ALL THE TIME.

                                                          MAKE A PLAN

                     ONCE YOU HAVE WRITTEN OUT THIS GOAL, CLEARLY AND SPECIFICALLY, AND MADE IT MEASURABLE, SET A DEADLINE ON YOUR GOAL. YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND NEEDS A DEADLINE SO THAT IT CAN FOCUS AND CONCENTRATE ALL YOUR MENTAL POWERS ON GOAL ATTAINMENT.

                   MAKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU CAN THINK OF THAT YOU COULD DO TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL. ORGANIZE THIS LIST BY SEQUENCE AND PRIORITY.

                    SELECT THE MOST IMPORTANT OR LOGICAL NEXT STEP IN YOUR PLAN AND TAKE ACTION ON IT IMMEDIATELY. TAKE THE FIRST STEP. DO SOMETHING. DO ANYTHING.

                   RESOLVE TO WORK ON THIS GOAL EVERY SINGLE DAY UNTIL IT IS ACHIEVED. FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD, AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED, "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION". ONCE YOU HAVE DECIDED THAT THIS ONE GOAL CAN HAVE THE GREATEST POSITIVE IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE AND YOU HAVE SET IT AS YOUR MAJOR DEFINTE PURPOSE, RESOLVE THAT YOU WILL WORK TOWARD THIS GOAL AS HARD AS YOU CAN, AS LONG AS YOU CAN, AND THAT YOU WILL NEVER GIVE UP INTIL IT IS ACHIEVED. THIS DECISION ALONE CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

ABOUT MONEY, RESPONSIBILITY AND SITUATION

 

                         

                                MONEY AND EMOTIONS

                    MANY OF OUR BIGGEST PROBLEMS AND CONCERNS IN LIFE HAVE TO DO WITH MONEY, EARNING IT, SPENDING IT, INVESTING IT, AND ESPECIALLY, LOSING IT. AS A RESULT, MANY OF OUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ARE ASSOCIATED WITH MONEY IN SOME WAY. HOWEVER, THE FACT IS THAT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FINANCIAL LIFE. YOU CHOOSE. YOU DECIDE. YOU ARE IN CHARGE. YOU CANNOT BLAME YOUR FINANCIAL PROBLEMS OR SITUATION ON OTHER PEOPLE. YOU ARE IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT.

                   SO IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR INCOME (WHO CHOSE TO ACCEPT THE JOB YOU ARE WORKING AT?) YOUR BILLS (WHO SPENT THE MONEY THAT PUT YOU INTO DEBT?) AND YOUR INVESTMENTS (WHO MADE THOSE DECISIONS?) CAN YOU MOVE FROM BEING AN "ECONOMIC CHILD" TO AN "ECONOMIC ADULT".

                                           RESPONSIBILITY AND CONTROL

                            

                 THERE IS A DIRECT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE ACCEPTANCE OF RESPONSIBILITY AND THE AMOUNT OF PERSONAL CONTROL YOU FEEL YOU HAVE OVER YOUR LIFE. THIS MEANS THAT THE MORE YOU ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY, THE GREATER SENSE OF CONTROL YOU EXPERIENCE.

                     THERE IS ALSO A DIRECT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE AMOUNT OF CONTROL YOU FEEL YOU HAVE AND HOW POSITIVE YOU FEEL. THE MORE YOU FEEL THAT YOU HAVE A HIGH "SENSE OF CONTROL" IN THE IMPORTANT AREAS OF YOUR LIFE, THE MORE POSITIVE AND HAPPY YOU ARE IN  EVERYTHING YOU DO.

                    WHEN YOU ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY, YOU FEEL STRONG, POWERFUL, AND PURPOSEFUL. ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY ELIMINATES THE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS THAT ROB YOU OF HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT.

                   IN EVERY SITUATION, THE ANTIDOTE TO NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IS TO SAY, "I AM RESPONSIBLE" . THEN LOOK INTO THE SITUATION TO FIND THE REASONS WHY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED OR FOR WHAT IS GOING ON.

                 YOUR INTELLIGENCE IS LIKE A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD. IT CAN CUT IT EITHER DIRECTION. YOU CAN USE YOUR INTELLIGENCE TO REATIONALIZE, JUSTIFY, AND BLAME OTHER PEOPLE FOR THINGS YOU ARE NOT HAPPY ABOUT, OR YOU CAN USE YOUR INTELLIGENCE TO FIND REASONS WHY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENDED AND THEN TAKE ACTION TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM OR RESOLVE THE SITUATION. YOU CAN MAKE EXCUSES OR YOU CAN MAKE PROGRESS. YOU CHOOSE.

                EVEN IF AN ACCIDENT HAS OCCURED, SUCH AS YOUR CAR BEING DAMAGED IN THE PARKING LOT WHILE YOU ARE AT WORK, YOU MAY NOT BE LEGALLY AT FAULT FOR THE ACCIDENT. BUT YOU ARE STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR RESPONSES, FOR HOW YOU BEHAVE AS A RESULT OF WHAT HAPPENED.

                                       NEVER COMPLAIN, NEVER EXPLAIN

                       THE MARK OF THE LEADER, THE TRULY SUPERIOR PERSON, IS THAT HE OR SHE ACCEPTS COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE SITUATION. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO IMAGINE A TRUE LEADER WHO WHINES AND COMPLAINS RATHER THAN TAKING ACTION WHEN PROBLEMS AND DIFFICULTIES ARISE.

                       THIS SENSE OF "RESPONSIBILITY" IS THE MARK OF THE HIGHLY DEVELOPED PERSONALITY. YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE BY RESOLVING, IN ADVANCE, THAT YOU WILL NOT BECOME UPSET OR ANGRY OVER SOMETHING THAT YOU CANNOT AFFECT OR CHANGE. JUST AS YOU DO NOT BECOME ANGRY ABOUT THE WEATHER, YOU DO NOT BECOME ANGRY OVER CIRCUMSTANCES AND SITUATIONS OVER WHICH YOU HAVE NO CONTROL.

                        FUTHERMORE, YOU ESPECIALLY DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE ANGRY AND UNHAPPY IN THE PRESENT BECAUSE OF UNHAPPY EXPERIENCES OR SITUATIONS FROM THE PAST. YOU SAY, "WHAT CANNOT BE CURED MUST BE ENDURED".

                    IT IS AMAZING HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE UNHAPPY TODAY BECAUSE OF A PAST EVENT, SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED MANY YEARS AGO. EACH TIME THEY THINK OF THE NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES, THEY BECOME ANGRY OR DEPRESSED ONCE AGAIN. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT AT ANY TIME, YOU CAN STOP THINKING ABOUT, DISCUSSING, AND REHASHING THE PAST. YOU CAN LET IT GO AND BEGIN THINKING INSTEAD ABOUT YOUR GOALS AND YOUR UNLIMITED FUTURE. AS HELEN KELLER SAID, "WHEN YOU TURN TOWARD THE SUNSHINE, THE SHADOWS FALL BEHIND YOU".