IMPORTANT HINT TO OUR RELATIONSHIPS

 

                CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK CAN

                            MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIPS.

                              IT IS STRANGE THAT SWORD AND WORDS HAVE THE SAME LETTERS.

                              EVE  MORE STRANGE IS THAT THEY HAVE THE SAME EFFECT IT

                              NOT HANDLED PROPERLY".

                                                                                                                   --- ANONYMOUS

                          MOST OF THE TIME OUR FRUSTRATION COMES FROM IMPROPER DEALSINGS IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS, I SAID TRYIG TO CONSOLE HARRY. AND THIS STEMS FROM OUR POOR COMMUNICATION, WHETHER IT'S OUR BODY LANGUAGE, ACTIONS OR WORDS, WE MUST TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR RELATIONSHIPS, I CONTINUED.

                             BUT IF I'M ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT WHAT TO SAY TO NOT UPSET, MY WIFE, THAT WOULD MAKE LIFE MISERABLE AND SO CALCULATED, HARRY RETORTED.

                              I SIGNED. HARRY YES, WE MUST CHOOSE OUR WORDS CAREFULLY WHEN WE ARE CORRECTING OTHERS, BUT BEFIRE THAT WE MUST LEARN TO INVES APPRECIATION IN THEM".

                              I SETTLED DOWN TO EXPLAIN IN DETAIL. 

                                          CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK: AN ART

                  BEYOND ANY OTHER NEED, THE GREATEST LONGING OF EVERY INDIVIDUALS IS TO GIVE LOVE AND TO BE LOVED. IT IS OUR RELATIONSHIPS THAT ALLOW THIS MANTRA TO COME TO FRUITION. HOWEVER, IT IS SURPRISING THAT THE RELATIONSHIPS WE CHERISH AND KEEP SO CLOSE TO OUR HEART CAN EASILY BE NEGLECTED AND ABUSED. FOR THE MOST PARTS, THIS IS NOT DONE ON PURPOSE, BUT OUT OF IGNORANCE AND AN INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND HOW ONE SHOULD BEHAVE. WE MAY HAVE THE RIGHT INTENTIONS BUT GIVING ADVICE INAPPROPRIATELY MAY DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD. THAT IS WHAY WE MUST LEARN TO DO IT PROPERLY. AND IT TAKES PRACTICE AND INTROPECTION TO DEVELOP THIS ABILITY. ANY TIME YOU FEEL THE NEED TO GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK TO SOMEONE, THINK OF THESE FOUR QUESTIONS.

                                      AM I RIGHT PERSON TO GIVE 

                                         CORRESTIVE FEEDBACK?

                    IS IT APPROPRIATE FOR YOU TO CORRECT THAT PERSON? THERE IS A JOKE THAT EVERY WOMAN THINKS THAT THE BEST CHILD IN THE WORLD IS HER CHILD, AND EVERY MAN THINKS THAT THE BEST WIFE IN THE WORLD IS THE NEIGHBOUR'S WIFE. WE WOULD ALL SCREAM AT SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD WHO IS ABOUT TO INJURE ITSELF, BUT WE ARE NOT TALKING OF THOSE EXCEPTIONAL SITUATIONS. IN ANY OTHER SITUATION WOULD YOU GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK TO SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD? WOULD YOU GIVE FEEDBACK TO ANOTHER'S SPOUSE? IN MOST SITUATIONS, YOU WOULD NOT. THEREFORE WE HAVE TO THINK, AM I THE RIGHT PERSON TO GIVE THIS FEEDBACK OR IS SOMEONE ELSE BETTER SUITED? AM I A RELATIVE? AM I A FRIEND? AM I AN AUTHORITY IN ANY WAY TO GIVE CORRECT FEEDBACK? IF THE ANSWER TO ANY OF THE QUESTIONS IS YES, THEN YOU CAN PROCEED TO THE NEXT ONE.

                     DO I HAVE THE RIGHT MOTIVE TO 

                                               GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK?

                      IT IS SAID THAT WE CAN CONTROL TWO THINGS IN OUR LIFE, OUR DESIRES AND OUR MOTIVES TELL US WHY WE WANT IT. IN MANY CASES, WE MAY CORRECT OTHERS BECAUSE WE WANT TO SETTLE OLD ACCOUNTS. WE MAY HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST THEM AND WE MAY USE THE OPPORTUNITY TO CORRECT THEM, SIMPLY TO EXACT OUR VENGEANCE. BUT THIS SHOULD NOT BE OUR MOTIVE. IT SHOULD BE TO HELP THEM AS FRIEND. WE SHOULD BE CONSCIENTIOUS THAT OUR MOTIVE IS APPROPRIATE, WE WANT TO HELP THEM COME OUT OF THE WRONG THEY ARE DOING. FEEDBACK FROM A PLACE OF LOVE MAY SEEM UNPALATABLE, BUT IT TASTES THE SWEETEST IF DONE APPROPRIATELY AND HAS THE RIGHT EFFECT.

                         TAKING THE TIME TO ASK THESE FOUR QUESTIONS BEFORE GIVING SOMEBODY CORRECTIONAL FEEDBACK CAN CHANGE ONE'S LIFE. TO UNDERSTAND THEM DEEPLY, CONTEMPLATION AND DISCUSSION WITH SOMEONW MORE EXPERIENCED THAN ONESELF ARE REQUIRED AS EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT. THE PRINCIPLES REMAIN THE SAME IN EVERY SITUATION, BUT THE APPLICATION MAY VARY ON A CASE-TO-CASE BASIS, DEPENDING ON THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION OR EVEN OUR RELATIONSHIPWITH THE PERSON. WE WOULD OUR CHILDREN. ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL, NEITHER DO OUR METHODS TO CORRECT.

                      THIS PRACTICE WILL TAKE SOME TIME TO IMPLEMENT, AND FORM INTO A HABIT, HARRY SAID, AS HE LOOKED AWAY FROM THE STEERING WHEEL MOMENTARILY TO LOOK AT ME.

                        YOU'RE RIGHT , I NODDED. HAVING THE KNOWLEDGE OF SOMETHING IS FAR FROM MASTERING IT. GIVING FEEDBACK BADLY IS AN ADDICTION . JUST AS A SMOKER KNOWS THAT CIGARETTERS CAN KILL HIM BUT SMOKES NONETHELESS, SIMILARLY THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH OTHERS BECOMES AN ADDICTION. WE KNOW WHEN WE ARE CARELESS, BUT OUR HABITS FORCE US TO ACT IN A CERTAIN  WAY.

                         HARRY'S EXPRESSION REVERTED TO ONE I HAD SEEN EARLIER IN THIS CAR JOURNEY. HIS FACE DROPPED AND HIS BREATHING SLOWED. WHEN I RETURN FROM THE OFFICE I AM USUALLY STRESSED, HE WHISPERED IAM NOT LIKE THAT GUY IN THE STORY. I REALLY LASH OUT OVER TRIVIAL COULD LEAD UP TO WHAT HAPPENED THE OTHER NIGHT. LALITA AND I GOT INTO A HUGE ARGUMENT OVER SOMETHING TRIVIAL WHICH I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER NOW. THE FIGHT REACHED ITS CRESCENDO, AND SHE SCREAMED AT ME SAYING SHE WANTED A DIVORCE! DIVORCE? HOW CAN SHE WANT A DIVORCE AFTER ALL WE HAVE BEEN THOUGHT? AT THIS POINT. HARRY WAS TALKING TO HIMSELF, CHURNING HIS EMOTIONS. WHAT WOULD MY FAMILY THINK IF I GOT DIVORCED? WOULD MY FRIENDS JUDGE ME? I SUPPOSE BEING CARELESS ABOUT LITTLE THINGS CAN REALLY PROVE TO BE FATAL. BUT I REALLY DO LOVE MY WIFE, AND I KNOW I NEED TO CHANGE, BUT HOW CAN I EVER FORGIVE HER FOR SAYING SOMETHING SO CRUEL AND HURTFUL?

                            ANOTHER QUESTION LOADED WITH EMOTION, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF. I LOOKED OUT OF THE CAR WINDOW. WE WERE DRIVING PAST COUPLES HOLDING HANDS AND WALKING ALONG WITH COASTLINE. I SAID, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT SOMETHING WORSE".

OUT THOUGHTS MAKES US WHAT WE ARE

 

                             LISTEN OUR THOUGHTS

                     A FEW YEARS AGO, I WAS ASKED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION ON A RADIO PROGRAM: WHAT IS THE BIGGEST LESSON YOU HAVE EVER LEARNED?

                        THAT WAS EASY. BY FAR THE MOST VITAL LESSON I HAVE EVER LEARNED IS THE IMPORTANCE OF WHAT WE THINK. IF I KNEW WHAT YOU THINK, I WOULD KNOW WHAT YOU ARE. OUR THOUGHTS MAKE US WHAT WE ARE. OUR MENTAL ATTITUDE IS THE X FACTOR THAT DETERMINES OUR FATE. EMERSON SAID, A MAN IS WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT ALL DAY LONG". HOW COULD HE POSSIBLY BY ANYTHING ELSE?

                       I NOW KNOW WITH A CONVICTION BEYOND ALL DOUBT THAT THE BIGGEST PROBLEM YOU AND I HAVE TO DEAL WITH - IN FACT, ALMOST THE ONLY PROBLEM WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH - IS CHOOSING THE RIGHT THOUGHTS, IF WE CAN DO THAT, WE WILL BE ON THE HIGHROAD TO SOLVING ALL OUR PROBLEMS. THE GREAT PHILOSOPHER WHO RULED THE ROMAN EMPIRE. MARCUS AURELIUS, SUMMED IT UP IN EIGHT WORLDS - EIGHT WORDS THAT CAN DETERMINE YOUR DESTINY. "OUR LIFE IS WHAT OUR THOUGHTS MAKE IT".

                          YES IF WE THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS, WE WILL BE HAPPY. IF WE THINK MISERABLE THOUGHTS, WE WILL BE MISERABLE. IF WE THINK FEAR THOUGHTS, WE WILL BE FEARFUL. IF WE THINK SICKLY THOUGHTS, WE WILL PROBABLY BE ILL. IF WE THINK FAILURE, WE WILL CERTAINLY FAIL IT. WE WALLOW IN SELF-PITY, EVERYONE WILL WANT TO SHUN US AND AVOID US. "YOU ARE NOT", SAID NORMAN VINCENT PEALE" YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE, BUT WHAT YOU THINK, YOU ARE".

                          AM I ADVOCATING HABITUAL POLLYANNA ATTITUDE TOWARD ALL OUR PROBLEM? NO, UNFORTUNATELY LIFE ISN'T SO SIMPLE AS ALL THAT. BUT I AM ADVOCATING THAT WE ASSUME A POSITIVE ATTITUDE  INSTEAD OF A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE. IN OTHER WORDS, WE NEED TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT OUR PROBLEMS, BUT NOT WORRIED. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CONCERN AND WORRY? LET ME ILLUSTRATE. EVERY TIME I CROSS THE TRAFFIC-JAMMED STREETS OF NEW YORK, I AM CONCERED ABOUT WHAT I AM DOING - BUT NOT WORRIED, CONCERN MEANS REALIZING WHAT THE PROBLEMS ARE, AND CALMLY TAKING STEPS TO MEET THEM. WORRYING MEANS GOING AROUND IN MADDENING, FUTILE CIRCLES.

                     JUST FOR TODAY I WILL BE UNAFRAID, ESPECIALLY I WILL NOT BE AFRAID TO BE HAPPY, TO ENJOY WHAT IS BEAUTIFUL, TO LOVE, AND TO BELIEVE THAT THOSE I LOVE, LOVE ME.

                     IF WE WANT TO DEVELOP A MENTAL ATTITUDE THAT WILL BRING US PEACE AND HAPPINESS, HERE IS RULE!

              THINK AND ACT CHEERFULLY, AND YOU WILL FEEL CHEERFUL

                        "I AM SO FAR FROM BEING A PESSIMIST-- ON THE CONTRARY,

                        IN SPIRTE OF MY SCARS, I AM TICKLED TO DEATH AT LIFE".

                                                                                                                 --- EUGENE O NEILL

                        IF YOU LOOK INTO YOUR OWN HEART, AND YOU FIND NOTHING WRONG THERE, WHAT IS THERE TO WORRY ABOUT?

                                            WHAT IS THERE TO FEAR?"

                                                                                                                --- CONFUCIUS

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY

 

                            

                                THE POWER OF MONEY

                                         "POVERTY CONSISTS IN FEELING POOR"

                                                                                           --- RALPH WALDO EMERSON

                    

                           HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY? MOST PEOPLE WOULD SAY THEY LOVE MONEY, BUT IF THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH, THEY DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT AT ALL. IF A PERSON HAS ALL THE MONEY THEY NEED, THEN MOST CERTAINLY THEY FEEL GOOD ABOUT MONEY. SO YOU CAN TELL HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HAVE ALL YOU NEED, THEN YOU DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT MONEY.

                           IF YOU LOOK OUT INTO THE WORLD, YOU WILL SEE THAT THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT MONEY, BECAUSE THE MAJORITY OF THE WORLD'S MONEY AND RICHES IS IN THE HANDS OF ABOUT TO PERCENT OF THE PEOPLE. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE WEALTHY PEOPLE AND EVERYONE ELSE IS THAT THE WEALTHY PEOPLE GIVE MORE GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT MONEY THAN THEY DO BAD FEELINGS. IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

                       WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY PEOPLE FEEL BAD ABOUT MONEY? IT'S NOT BECAUSE THEY HAVE NEVER HAD MONEY, BECAUSE MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MONEY BEGAN WITH NOTHING. THE REASON WHY SO MANY PEOPLE FEEL BAD ABOUT MONEY IS THAT THEY HAVE NEGATIVE BELIEFS ABOUT MONEY, AND THOSE NEGATIVE BELIEFS WERE FED INTO THEIR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND WHEN THEY WERE CHILDREN. BELIEFS LIKE "WE CAN'T AFFORD THAT, "MONEY IS EVIL, "RICH PEOPLE MUST BE DISHONEST", WANTING MONEY IS WRONG AND IT'S NOT SPIRITUAL", HAVING PLENTY OF MONEY MEANS HARD WORK".

                       WHEN YOU'RE A CHILD, YOU ACCEPT JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING YOUR PARENTS, TEACHERS, OR SOCIETY TELL YOU. AND SO WITHOUT REALIZING IT, YOU GROW UP HAVING NEGATIVE FEELINGS ABOUT MONEY, THE IRONY IS THAT, AT THE SAME TIME THAT YOU'RE TOLD THAT WANTING MONEY IS WRONG, YOU ARE TOLD THT YOU HAVE TO EARN A LIVING, EVEN IF IT MEANS DOING WORK YOU DON'T LOVE. MAYBE YOU WERE EVEN TOLD THAT THERE ARE ONLY CERTAIN JOBS YOU CAN DO TO EARN A LIVING, THAT IT'S A LIMITED LIST.

                            NONE OF THESE THING IS TRUE. THE PEOPLE WHO TOLD YOU THESE THINGS IS TRUE. THE PEOPLE WHO TOLD YOU THESE THINGS ARE INNOCENT BECAUSE THEY WERE PASSING ON WHAT THEY BELIEVED AND FELT WAS TRUE, BUT BECAUSE THEY BELIEVED IT, THE LAW OF ATTRACTION MADE IT TRUE IN THEIR LIVES. NOW YOU ARE LACK MONEY IN YOUR LIFE, IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE GIVING OUT MORE BAD FEELINGS THAN YOU ARE GIVING GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT MONEY.

                        " WHEN YOU REALIZE THERE IS NOTHING LACKING

                           THE WHOLE WORLD BELONGS TO YOU".

                                                                                    --- LAO LZU

                       HOW TO CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY

 

                          WHEN YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY, THE AMOUNT OF MONEY IN YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE. THE BETTER YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY, THE MORE MONEY YOU MAGNETIZE TO YOURSELF.

                            IF YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH MONEY, THEN RECEIVING BILLS WON'T MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. BUT THE MOMENT YOU REACT NEGATIVELY TO A BIG BILL, YOU GIVE BAD FEELINGS, AND MOST SURELY YOU WILL MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT WHEN YOU PAY YOUR BILLS, YOU FIND A WAY, ANYWAY, TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. NEVER PAY YOUR BILLS WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL GOOD, BECAUSE YOU WILL JUST BRING BIGGER BILLS TO YOU.

                        TO CHANGE WHAT YOU'RE GEELING, YOU NEED TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO TURN YOUR BILLS INTO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER. YOU CAN IMAGINE THEY'RE NOT REALLY BILLS AT ALL BUT INSTEAD YOU'VE DECIDED TO DONATE MONEY TO EACH COMPANY OR PERSON OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF YOUR HEART, BECAUSE OF THE WONDERFUL SERVICE THEY PROVIDE.

                    IMAGINE YOUR BILLS ARE CHECKS YOU'RE RECEIVING. OR USE GRATITUDE AND GIVE THANKS TO THE COMPANY WHO SENT YOU THE BILL, BY THINKING ABOUT HOW YOU'VE BENEFIED FROM THEIR SERVICE FOR ELECTRICITY OR BEING ABLE TO LIVE IN A HOME. YOU CAN WRITE ACROSS THE FRONT OF A BILL WHEN YOU PAY IT, THANK YOU- PAID". IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY THE BILL RIGHT AWAY, WRTE ACROSS THE FRONT OF IT, "THANK YOU FOR THE MONEY". THE LAW OF ATTRACTIO DOESN'T QUESTION WHETHER WHAT YOU IMAGINE AND FEEL IS REAL OR NOT. IT RESPONDS TO WHAT YOU GIVE PERIOD.

                            "YOU ARE REWARED NOT ACCORDING TO YOUR WORK OR

                              YOUR TIME BUT ACCORDING TO THE MEASURE OF YOUR LOVE".    

                                                                                                       -- SAINT CATHERINE OF SIENA

                          WHEN YOU RECEIVE YOUR SALARY, BE GRATEFUL FOR IT SO IT MULTIPLES! MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN FEEL GOOD WHEN THEY ARE PAID, BECAUSE THEY'RE SO WORRIED ABOUT HOW TO MAKE THEIR SALARY LAST. THEY MISS AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE LOVE EVERY TIME THEY'RE PAID. WHEN SOME MONEY COMES INTO YOUR HANDS, NO MATTER HOW LITTLE IT IS, GRATEFUL! REMEMBER, WHATEVER YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR MULTIPLIES. GRATITUDE IS THE GREAT MULTIPLIER!

                   POINTS :

                   * IT'S THE ATTRACTIVE FORCE OF LOVE THAT MOVES ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD, AND WHOEVER IS GIVING LOVE BY FEELING GOOD IS A MAGNET FOR MONEY.

                   * YOU CAN TELL YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HAVE ALL YOU NEED, THEN YOU DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT MONEY.

                   * LOVE IS THE ATTRACTIVE FORCE THAT BRINGS MONEY, AND LOVE IS ALSO THE POWER THAT MAKES MONEY STICK.

                  * WHEN YOU PAY YOUR BILLS, FIND A WAY, ANY WAY, TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. IMAGINE YOUR BILLS ARE CHECKS YOU'RE RECEIVING. OR USE GRATITUDE AND GIVE THANKS TO THE COMPANY WHO SENT YOU THE BILL.

                 *WHEN SOME MONEY COMES INTO YOUR HANDS, NO MATTER HOW SMALL IT IS, BE GRATEFUL ! REMEMBER GRATITUDE IS THE GREAT MULTIPLIER.

                 * FEEL LOVE WHEN YOU PAY FOR ANYTHING INSTEAD OF FEELING BAD BECAUSE YOU HAVE LESS MONEY. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO IS THED DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAVING PLENTY OF MONEY, AND STRUGGLING WITH MONEY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

                  *USE PHYSICAL MONEY AS YOUR CUE TO REMEMBER TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT PLENTY OF MONEY. IMAGINE THE FRONT OF EACH BILL AS THE POSITIVE SIDE, WHICH REPRESENTS PLENTY OF MONEY. EACH TIME YOU HANDLE MONEY, DELIBERATELY FLIP THE BILL SO THE FRONT IS FACING YOU.

                    * IF YOU FEEL REALLY OOD ABOUT SUCCESS, NO MATTER WHOSE SUCCESS IT IS YOU STICK SUCCESS TOYOU!

                     * GIVE IN EQUAL VALUE TO THE MONEY YOU RECEIVE THROUG PROFITS OR YOUR SALARY. IF YOU GIVE MORE VALUE THAN THE MONEY YOU'RE RECEIVING YOUR BUSINESS AND CAREER WILL TAKE OFF.

                    * MONEY IS ONLY A TOOL FOR YOU TO EXPERIENCE THE THINGS YOU LOVE IN LIFE. THE ATTRACTIVE FORCE OF LOVE HAS UNLIMITED WAYS FOR YOU TO RECEIVE WHAT YOU WANT, AND ONLY ONE OF THOSE WAYS INVOLVES MONEY.

                    * IMAGINE BEING WITH WHAT YOU LOVE, DOING WHAT YOU LOVE, AND HAVING THE THINGS YOU LOVE, BECAUSE YOU WILL FEEL FOR MORE LOVE THAN YOU WILL IF YOU ONLY THINK ABOUT MONEY.

                     * THE BEAUTY OF LIFE IS THAT WHAT YOU PUT LOVE FIRST, ALL THE MONEY YOU NEED TO LIVE A FULL LIFE COMES TO YOU.

HOW TO SALE YOUR PRODUCT

 

                              THE DISCIPLINE OF SALES

                         THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT IN BUSINESS SUCCESS IS SELLING. NOTHING HAPPENS UNTIL A SALE TAKE PLACE. ALL THE FACTORIES, BUSINESS, OFFICESS, AND PRODUCES OF GOODS AND SERVICES LEAP INTO ACTION ONLY WHEN SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE MAKES A SALE TO SOMEONE.

                         SELLING IS ONE OF THE HARDEST PROFESSIONS IN AMERICA. IT IS ALSO THE ONLY PROFESSION IN WHICH A PERSON CAN START WITH LIMITED SKILLS TO ACHIEVE ONE OF THE HIGHEST INCOMES IN OUR ECONOMY. MOVING ONWARD AND UPWARD IN SALES IS LIKE DRIVING ON THE AUTOBAHN IN GERMANY. THERE ARE NO SPEED LIMITS. YOU CAN GO AS FAR AND AS FAST AS YOU WANT BY STEPPING ON THE ACCELERATOR OF YOUR OWN AMBITION AND DETERMINATION TO EXCEL IN THE PROFESSION OF SALES.

                      DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO MAKE YOUR FIST CALL EARLY IN THE MORNING, 7.00 OR 8.00 AM. WHEN YOU START  YOUR DAY WITH A FACE-TO-FACE SALES CALL, YOU WILL BE MOST ENERGIZED AND MOTIVATED TO CONTINUE SELLING ALL DAY LONG.

                      DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO CLUSTER YOUR CALLS IN A SMALL GEOGRAPHICAL AREA SO THAT YOU CAN GET FACE WITH MORE PEOPLE IN A SHORTER AMOUNT OF TIME. MANY SALES PEOPLE, BECAUSE OF THEIR FEAR OF REJECTION, SPREAD THEIR CALLS OUT BECAUSE OF THEIR FEAR OF REJECTION, SPREAD THEIR CALLS OUT OVER A LARGE GEOGRAPHICAL AREA THEN CONVINCE THEMSELVES THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY WORKING WHEN THEY ARE REALLY SIMPLY DRIVING FROM CALL TO CALL.

 

                        REMEMBER: YOU ARE WORKING ONLY WHEN YOU ARE EAR TO EAR TO FACE TO FACE WITH SOMEONW WHO CAN AND WILL BUY WITHIN A REASONABLE PERIOD OF TIME. AT ALL OTHER TIMES, YOU ARE "UNEMPLOYED".

                                 SET HIGHER STANDARDS FOR YOURSELF

                           DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO ACT EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY AS IF EVERYONE WERE WATCHING YOU. OUTSIDE SALESPEOPLE REQUIRE  A HIGHER LEVEL OF DISCIPLINE THAN PEOPLE WHO WORK IN THE OFFICE WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE THEM. BECAUSE SALESPEOPLE ARE ON THEIR OWN, LIKE GUERILLA FIGHERS IN THE SALES JUNGLE, THE TEMPTATION IS NEVER ENDING TO SLACK OFF, TO TAKE IT EASY, OR TO GO FOR COFFEE OR LUNCH RATHER THAN T MAKE SALES CALLS.

                           TO PERFORM AT YOUR BEST, YOU MUST DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO WORK THROUGHOUT THE DAY - AS THOUGH YOUR SALES MANAGER WAS DOING A "RIDE-ALONG". IMAGINE THAT YOUR SALES MANAGER IS SITTING NEXT TO YOU ALL DAY LONG. HOW WOULD YOUR WORK DIFFERENTLY IF SOMEONW WERE ACCOMPANING YOU AND OBSERVING EVERYTHING YOU DID THROUGHOUT THE DAY? WHATEVER YOUR ANSWER THAT IS HOW YOU SHOULD WORK - EVEN WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS AROUND.

                                 ALL SALES SKILLS ARE LEARNABLE

                  TO BECOME ONE OF THE HIGHEST PAID SALESPEOPLE IN YOUR INDUSTRY, YOU MUST DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO PRACTICE CONTINOUS PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. READ IN YOUR FIELD EVERY DAY. LISTEN TO EDUCATIONAL AUDIO PROGRAMS IN YOUR CARAS YOU DRIVE ALONG. ATTEND EVERY SALES SEMINAR YOU CAN, WHETHER SPONSORED BY YOUR COMPANY OR NOT. DEDICATE YOURSELF TO CONTINOUS LEARNING AS IF YOUR FUTURE DEPENDS ON IT - BECAUSE IT DOES.

                    THE TURNING POINT IN MY LIFE WHEN  I WAS A YOUNG SALESMAN - FRUSTRATED AND UNHAPPY, GOING IN CIRCLES, AND BARELY MAKING A LIVING - WAS WHEN I LEARNED THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT. I LEARNED THAT "IF YOU DO WHAT THE MOST SUCCESSFUL SALESPEOPLE DO, OVER AND OVER, THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN STOP YOU FROM EVENTUALLY ACHIEVING THE SAME RESULTS AND REWARDS THAT THEY DO."

                    I LEARNED THAT EVERY SALESPEOPLE IN THE TOP PERCENT STARTED IN THE BOTTOM  10 PERCENT. EVERYONE WHO IS DOING WELL TODAY WAS AT ONE TIME DOING POORLY. EVERY PERSON AT THE TOP OF YOUR FIELD WAS AT ONE TIME NOT IN YOUR FIELD AT ALL AND DID NOT KNOW THAT IT EXISTED.

                    I LEARNED THAT ALL SALES SKILLS ARE LEARNABLE. YOU CAN LEARN ANY SALES SKILL YOU NEED TO LEARN TO ACHIEVE ANY SALES GOAL YOU CAN SET FOR YOURSELF. THERE ARE NO LIMITS EXCEPT THE LIMITS YOU PLACE ON YOURSELF WITH YOUR OWN THINKING.

                    WHEN YOU DISCIPLINED YOURSELF TO BECOME ONE OF THE TOP SALESPEOPLE IN YOUR FIELD, YOU WILL FIND THAT YOU WILL HAVE TURED AN IMPORTANT CORNER IN YOUR CAREER. MOST SALESPEOPLE DO ONLY WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO TO KEEP THEIR JOBS. BUT THOSE PEOPLE WHO RESOLVE TO BECOME THE BEST IN THEIR FIELDS ACCOMPLISH FAR MORE THAN ANYMORE ELSE.YOUR JOB IS TO BE ONE OF THEM.

                  IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, WE WILL TAKE ABOUT MONEY AND HOW THE PRACTICE OF SELF-DISCIPLINE IN THIS AREA CAN DRAMATICALLY INCREASE YOUR LIKEHOOD OF ACHIEVING ALL YOUR FINANCIAL GOALS.

 

                    POINTS 

                1. SEE YOURSELF AS THE PRESIDENT OF YOUR OWN PERSONAL SALES CORPORATION, COMPLETELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SALES RESULTS. THIS IS THE ATTITUDE OF THE HIGHEST PAID SALESPEOPLE.

                 2. SET CLEAR, WRITTEN INCOME GOALS FOR YOUSELF FOR THE NEXT TWELVE MONTHS AS WELL AS GOALS FOR EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR.

                 3.DETERMINE EXACTLY HOW MUCH OF YOUR PRODUCT OR SERVICE YOU WILL HAVE TO SELL IN ORDER TO EARN THAT DESIRED INCOME. 

                  4. DETERMINE HOW MANY INDIVIDUALS SALES YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE, BASED ON YOUR AVERAGE SIZE OF SALE AND AMOUNT OF COMMISSION EARNED.

                  5. DETERMINE HOW MANY PROSPECTS YOU WILL HAVE TO CALL ON, BASED ON YOUR CURRENT EXPERIENCE, TO MAKE THIS NUMBER OF SALES.

                 6. DEDICATE YOURSELF TO CONTINUOUS IMPROVMENT IN SALES BY READING EACH DAY, LISTENING TO AUDIOS IN YOUR CAR, AND ATTENDING SALES SEMINARS.

                   7. SPEND EVERY MINUTES OF EVERY SALES SAY GETTING FACE TO FACE WITH PEOPLE WHO CAN AND WILL BUY FROM YOU IN THE NEAR FUTURE.

TIME MANAGEMENT TIPS

 

                                YOU CAN'T SAVE TIME

                         THERE IS PERHAPS NO AREA OF YOUR LIFE IN WHICH SELF-MANAGE YOUR TIME. TIME MANAGEMENT IS A CORE DISCIPLINE  THAT LARGELY DETERMINES THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE. AS PETER DRUCKER SAID, "YOU CANNOT MANAGE TIME, YOU CAN ONLY MANAGE YOURSELF".

                          TIME MANAGEMENT IS REALLY LIFE MANAGEMENT, PERSONAL MANAGEMENT, MANAGEMENT OF YOURSELF RATHER THAN OF TIME OR CIRCUMSANCES.

                          TIME IS PERISHABLE, IT CANNOT BE SAVED. TIME IS TRUE IRREPLACEABLE, NOTHING ELSE WILL DO. TIME IS IRRESTRIEVABLE, ONCE IT IS GONE OR WASTED, YOU CAN NEVER GET IT BACK. FINALLY, TIME IS INDISPENSABLE, ESPECIALLY FOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF ANY KIND. ALL ACHIEVEMENT, ALL RESULTS, ALL SUCCESS REQUIRES TIME. 

                          THE FACT IS THAT YOU CANNOT SAVE TIME, YOU CAN ONLY SPEND IT DIFFERENTLY. YOU CAN ONLY REALLOCATE YOUR TIME USAGE FROM AREAS OF LOW VALUE TO AREAS OF HIGH VALUE. HEREIN LIES THE KEY TO SUCCESS, AND THE REQUIREMENT FOR SELF-DISCIPLINE.

                         TIME MANAGEMENT IS THE ABILITY TO CHOOSE THE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS. BY EXERTING YOUR SELF-DISCIPLINE WITH REGARD TO TIME, YOU CAN CHOOSE WHAT TO DO FIRST, SECOND, AND NOT AT ALL. AND YOU ARE ALWAYS FREE TO CHOOSE.

                      YOU REQUIRE TREMENDOUS SELF-DISCIPLINE TO OVERCOME THE PROCRASINATION AND DELAY THAT HOLDS MOST PEOPLE BACK FROM GREAT SUCCESS. A NATIVE INDIAN ONCE TOLD ME THAT "PROCRASTINATION IS THE THIEF OF DREAMS".

                       THE PARETO PRINCIPLE, THE 80/20 RULE, SAYS THAT 20 PERCENT OF THE THINGS YOU DO ACCOUNT FOR 80 PERCENT OF THE VALUE WHAT YOU ACCOMPLISH. THIS MEANS THAT 80 PERCENT OF WHAT YOU DO IS WORTH 20 PERCENT OR LESS OF THE VALUE OF WHAT YOU ACCOMPLISH.

                                             ACCESS THE TRUE VALUE 

                                                      OF EVERYTHING YOU DO

                        SOME THINGS YOU DO ARE FIVE TIMES AND EVEN TEN TIMES MORE VALUABLE THAN OTHER THINGS, EVEN THOUGH THEY TAKE THE SAME NUMBER OF MINUTES AND HOURS. THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS YOU DO- THE TO 20 PERCENT - ARE USUALLY BIG, DIFFICULT, AND DAUNTING. IN CONTRAST, THE 80 PERCENT OF THINGS THAT YOU DO THAT MAKE OR NO DIFFERENCE TO YOUR LIFE ARE USUALLY FUN, EASY, AND ENJOYABLE,

                          YOU CAN TELL THE VALUE THAT SOMETHING HAS TO YOU BY THE AMOUNT OF YOUR TIME YOU INVEST IN IT. YOU ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO AND SPEND TIME ON WHAT YOU MOST VALUE, WHETHER IT IS YOUR FAMILY, YOUR HEALTH, YOUR SOCIAL OR SPORTS ACTIVIITIES, OR YOUR MONEY AND  CAREER. IT  IS ONLY BY LOOKING AT HOW YOU SPEND YOUR TIME THAT YOU (AND EVERYONE ELSE) KNOW WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO YOU.

                      SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT CAREER SUCCESS IS MOST IMPORTANT TO THEM, AND THEN THEY GO HOME AND WATCH TELEVISION SEVERAL HOURS PER DAY. SOME PEOPLE SAY THEIR FAMILIES ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM, AND THEN THEY GO OUT SOCIALIZING OR PLAYING GOLF. ONLY YOUR ACTIONS TELL YOU - AND OTHERS - WHAT YOU TRULY VALUE.

                     THE ESSENCE TO TIME MANAGEMENT IS FOR YOU TO DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO SET CLEAR PRIORITIES - AND THEN SICK TO THOSE PRIORITIES. YOU MUST CONSCIOUSLY AND DELIBERATELY SELECT THE MOST VALUABLE AND IMPORTANT THING THAT YOU COULD BE DOING AT ANY GIVEN TIME, AND THEN DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO WORK SOLELY ON THAT TASK.

                                         PERSONAL STRATEGIC PLANNING

                          IN CORPORATE STATEGIC PLANNING, THE MAIN FOCUS IS ON INCREASING THE "RETURN ON EQUITY". EQUITY IN A BUSINESS IS DEFINED AS THE AMOUNT OF MONEY INVESTED IN THE BUSINESS BY THE OWNERS (ASIDE FROM DEBT AND MONEY HORROWED). THE PURPOSE OF STRATEGIC PLANNING IS TO FIND WAYS TO ORGANIZE AND REORGANIZE THE BUSINESS IN SUCH A WAY THAT THE COMPANY IS ACHIEVING A HIGHER RATE OF RETURN ON THIS EQUITY THAN IT WOULD BE IN THE ABSENCE OF THE PLANNING PROCESS. 

                      COMPANIES INVEST FINANCIAL CAPITAL, BUT INDIVIDUALS INVEST "HUMAN CAPITAL". COMPANIES DEPLOY FINANCIAL ASSETS, BUT YOUR MOST VITAL ASSETS ARE YOUR MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, AND PHYSICAL ENERGIES. HOW YOU INVEST THEM DETERMINES YOUR ENTIRE QUALITY OF LIFE.

                       IN PERSONAL STRATEGIC PLANNING, YOUR GOAL IS TO GET THE HIGHEST, "RETURN ON ENERGY" FROM YOUR ACTIVITIES. KEN BLANCHARD REFERS TO THIS AS GETTING THE HIGHEST "RETURN ON LIFE".

                    JUST AS YOU WOULD BE CAREFUL ABOUT INVESTING YOUR MONEY SO AS TO ENSURE THAT YOU GET THE HIGHEST RATE OF RETURN, YOU MUST BE EQUALLY CAREFUL WHEN YOU INVEST YOUR TIME. YOU MUST BE SURE THAT YOU EART THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF RESULTS, REWARDS, AND SATISFACTION FROM THE LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME YOU HAVE.

PRACTICE FORGIVENESS

 

                             THE LAW OF FORGIVENESS

                     THE HEIGHT OF SELF-DISCIPLINE IN SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT IS THE PRACTICE OF FORGIVENESS. THE LAW OF FORGIVENESS SAYS THAT "YOU ARE MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY TO THE DEGREE THAT YOU CAN FREELY FORGIVE ANYONE WHO HAS HURT YOU IN ANY WAY".

                    EVERY PERSON - INCLUDING YOU - HAS EXPERIENCED, DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, NEGATIVE TREATEMENT, UNKINDNESS, RUDENESS, UNFAIRNESS, BETRAYAL, AND DISHONESTY FROM OTHERS OVER THE YEARS. THESE EVENTS, ARE UNFORTUNATE, BUT THEY ARE AN INEVITABLE AND UNAVOIDABLE PART OF BEING A MEMEBER OF THE HUMAN RACE. THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN AVOID THE PROBLEMS AND DIFFICULTIES OF LIVING IN A BUSYT SOCIETY WITH MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF PEOPLE IS TO LIVE IN A CAVE.

                     THE ONLY QUESTION YOU NEED TO ASK AND ANSWER AFTER YOU HAVE HAD A NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE IS , "HOW LONG WILL IT TAKED ME TO GET OVER THIS EVENT AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE?, THIS IS A DECISION ONLY YOU CAN MAKE IT. IT IS ONE OF THEM IMPORTANT TYPES OF DECISIONS THAT YOU MAKE IN YOU OWN LIFE IF YOU TRULY WANT TO BE HAPPY. WHAT'S MORE, IT IS A TRUE TEST OF YOUR MENTAL AND SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE.

                                                    THE FORGETTING CURVE

                       EACH PERSON HAS A "FORGETTING CURVE", OR WHAT IS OFTEN CALLED A "FORGIVENESS CURVE". THIS CURVE MEASURES HOW QUICKLY YOU FORGIVE AND FORGET A NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE, AND IT DETERMINES HOW MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY YOU REALLY ARE.

                      IMAGINE A RECTANGLE WITH A SCALE FROM ZERO TO ONE HUNDRED ASCENDING THE LEFT SIDE OF THE RECTANGLE. THIS IS THE SCALE OF THE INTENSITY OF THE NEGATIVE EMOTION YOU EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU ARE HURT OR OFFENDEND IN SOME WAY. ACROSS THE BOTTOM OF THIS GRAPH ARE THE MONTHS AND YEARS OF YOUR LIFE.

                    YOU CAN HAVE EITHER A FLAT FORGIVENESS CURVE OR A STEEP, DOWNWARD SLOPING FORGIVENESS CURVE. IF YOUR FORGIVENESS CURVE IS FLAT, THIS MEAS THAT YOU CONTINUES TO BE ANGRY FOR LONG TIME, SOMETIMES FOR YEARS OR EVEN DECADES AT THE SAME LEVEL AS WHEN THE EVENT OCCURED.

                   THERE ARE COUNTLESS PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING ONE OF THEIR PARENTS DID OR SAID TO THEM DECADES AGO. FURTHERMORE, THEY WILL TELL YOU ABOUT IT AT THE DROP OF A HAT. THEY WILL REACH INTO THEIR GUNNUYSACK OF UNFORGIVENESS EVENTS AND PULL OUT THEIR CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES AND SHARE THEM WITH YOU.

                  

                     EVERY PSYCHOLOGIST AND PSYCHIATRIST WHO DEAL WITH UNHAPPY PEOPLE ARE EMPLOYED BECAUSE THEIR PATIENTS HAVE FLAT FORGIVENESS CURVES. THEIR PRIMARY CONVERSATION IN THERAPY IS TALKING ABOUT WHAT SOMEONW DID OR DIDN'T DO TO THEM OR FOR THEM AT SOME POINT IN THE PAST - AND HOW UNHAPPY THAT PERSON STILL FEELS ABOUT IT TODAY.

                                        GET OVER IT AND GET ON WITH IT

                            TRULY HEALTHY PEOPLE, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAVE DOWNWARD SLOPING FORGIVENESS CURVES. THEY HAVE HAD JUST BUT MANY DIFFICULTIES AND PROBLEMS INLIFE AS ANYMORE ELSE, BUT THEY HAVE DISCIPLINED THEMSELVES BY RESOLVING TO FORGIVE AND FORGET QUICKLY SO THEY CAN GET ON WITH THEIR LIVES.THEY REFUSE TO GUNNYSACK LET THEM GO AND TURN THEIR ATTENTION TO THE THINGS THAT MAKE THEM HAPPY.

 

                           THE DISCIPLINE OF FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY TO THE SPIRITUAL KINGDOM. IT IS ONLY POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO ENJOY HIGH LEVELS OF PEACE MIND WHEN YOU DEVELOP THE HABIT AND DISCIPLINE OF FREELY FORGIVING OTHER PEOPLE FOR EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING THAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HURT YOU.

                                                  FORGIVENESS IS SELFISH

                 SOME PEOPLE ARE CONFUSED ABOUT THE CONCEPT OF FORGIVENESS. THEY THINK THAT FORGIVING SOMEONE ELSE FOR HAVING HURT THEM IS THE SAME AS CONDOMING THAT BEHAVIOR, OR EVEN APPROVING OF IT.  QUITE THE CONTRARY. FORGIVNESS IS A PURELY SELFISH ACT. FORGIVENESS HAS NOTHING WHATEVER TO DO WITH THE OTHER PERSON. YOU FORGIVE OTHERS SO THAT YOU YOURSELF CAN BE EMOTIONALLY FREE, SO THAT YOU NO LONGER CARRY THAT BAGGAGE AROUND WITH YOU. 

               YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL MIND. YOU ARE INCREDIBLY INTELIGENT AND INSIGHTFUL. YOU CAN USE YOUR MIND ON YOUR BEHALF IN ORDER TO HELP YOU TO BE JOYOUS AND HAPPY OR YOU CAN USE IT AGAINST YOURSELF. THE WAY YOU USE YOUR MIND AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL IS TO FIND REASONS TO FORGIVE OTHERS. INSTEAD OF REHASHING AND DISSECTING A PAST EVENT, LOOKING FOR REATIONZALIZATION, JUSTIFICATIONS, AND REASONS TO TAKE SOMETHING PERSONALLY, USE YOUR INTELLIGENTS TO FIND REASONS TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY AND LET GO OF THE NEGATIVE SITUATION.

                                  ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY AND FORGIVE 

                                      THE INSTANT YOU ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY AND FORGIVE EVERYONE FOR AYTHING THAT THEY EVER DID TO HURT YOU IN ANYWAY, YOU LIBERATE YOURSELF COMPLETELY. ALL YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS DISSAPEAR. INPLACE OF INNER PEACE, LOVE, HAPPINESS, AND JOY.

                                    THE PAYOFF FOR USING YOUR SELF-DISCIPLINE TO PRACTICE FORGIVENESS ON AN ONGOING BASIS IS EXTRAORDINARY. WHEN YOU USE YOUR INCREDIBLE ABILITIES OF SELF-CONTROL, SELF-MASTERY, AND DETACHMENT TO SEPERATE YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY FROM SITUATIONS THAT WOULD OTHERWISE MAKE YOU UNHAPPY, THE ENTIRE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE IMPROVES IN A WONDERFUL WAY.

                            POINTS :

                1. TAKE THE FORGIVENESS TEST. DO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY?

                2. IDENTIFY THE PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST WHO YOU FEEL HAVE HURT YOU IN ANY WAY, AND THEN MAKE A DECISION TODAY TO FORGIVE THEM AND LET GO OF THOSE NEGATIVE FEELINGS.

                3. FIND REASONS NOT TO JUSTIFY YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS OF BLAME OR ANGER, AND INSTEAD, USE YOUR INTELLIGENCE TO ACCEPT EMOTIONS.

                 4. SET PEACE OF MIND AS YOUR HIGHEST GOAL, AND THEN RESOLVE TO LET GO OF ANY THOUGHTS OR EMOTIONS THAT DISTURB YOU IN ANY WAY.

                 5. BEGIN TODAY TO READ SOMETHING SPIRITUAL AND UPLIFTING EACH MORNING BEFORE YOU BEGIN YOUR DAY.  THIS HABIT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

                  6. FROM NOW ON, REFUSE TO TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY. ASK YOURSELF HOW MUCH IT WILL MATTER FIVE YEARS FROM OTHERS.

                  7. PRACTIVE THE BUDDIST METHOD OF DETACHMENT FROM MONEY AND MATERIAL THINGS, AND REFUSE TO BECOME UPSET OR WORRIED ABOUT ANYTHING.

PEACE OF YOUR MIND

                                         SELF-DISCIPLINE

                         " MEN ARE ANXIOUS TO IMPROVE THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT ARE UNIWILLING TO IMPROVE THEMSELVES, THEY THEREFORE REMAIN BOUND. THE MAN WHO DOES NOT SHRINK FROM SELF-CRUCIFIXON CAN NEVER FAIL TO ACCOMPLISH THE OBJECT UPON WHICH HIS HEART IS SET. THIS IS TRUE OF EARTHLY AS OF HEAVENLY THINGS. EVEN THE MAN WHOSE OBJECT IS TO ACQUIRE WEALTH MUST BE PREPARED TO MAKE GREAT PERSONAL SACRIFICES BEFORE HE CAN ACCOMPLISH HIS OBJECT, AND HOW MORE SO HE WHO WOULD REALIZE A STRONG AND WELL-POISED LIFE."

                                                                                                   ---- JAMES ALLEN

                                  YOU REQUIRE HIGH LEVELS OF SELF-DISCIPLINE IF YOU TRULY DESIRE TO DEVELOP ALL YOUR INNER RESOURCES AND FULLFILL YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL. THROUGHOUT THE AGES, IN ALL RELIGIONS AND PHILOSOPHIES THE HIGHEST HUMAN GOOD OR IDEA HAS BEEN PEACE OF MIND. YOUR ABILITY TO ACHIEVE YOUR OWN PEACE OF MIND IS THE TRUE MEASURE OF YOUR SUCCESS AND THE KEY DETERMINE OF YOUR HAPPINESS.

                            TO DEVELOP SPIRITUALLY, AND TO BECOME A FULLY FUNCTIONING PERSON, YOU MUST REGULARLY APPLY SELF-DISCIPLINE AND SELF-CONTROL TO YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND ACTIONS, AND ACTIONS. SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT, INNER PEACE, AND THE EXPERIENCE OF JOY ALL REQUIRE SELF-MASTERY AND SELF-CONTROL.

                                               OUTER VERSUS INNER SUCCESS

                        TO SUCCEED IN THE "OUTER WORLD" YOU MUST DISCIPLINE YOURSELFTO FOCUS AND CONCENTRATE, WORK HART AT YOUR JOB, TAKE CONTINOUS ACTION TOWARD YOUR GOALS, AND BECOME BETTER AND MORE CAPABLE AS YOU MORE ONWARD AND UPWARD IN LIFE.

                         TO SUCCEED IN THE "INNER WORLD", HOWEVER, REQUIRES ALMOST THE OPPOSITE ABILITIES. TO ACHIEVE INNER PEACE, YOU MUST DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO LET GO OF EVERYTHING THAT CAN DISRUPT YOUR SENSE OF INNER PEACE AND CONTENTMENT.

                       ZEN BUDDHISM TEACHES THAT THE MAIN CAUSE OF HUMAN SUFFERING AND UNHAPPINESS IS " ATTACHMENT", PEOPLE BECOME ATTACHED TO IDEAS, OPINIONS, AND MATERIAL THINGS, AND THEN THEY ARE RELUCTANT TO LET GO OF THEM. SOMETIMES PEOPLE BECOME SO PREOCCUPIED WITH THESE EXTERNAL FACTORS THAT IT AFFECTS THEIR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH - EVEN KEEPING THEM AWAKE AT NIGHT.

                      WHEN YOU PRACTICE DETACHMENT, SEPARATING YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY FROM THINGS OR OUTCOMES, THE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS INVOLVED STOP AS WELL, LIKE UNPLUGGING A LIGHT FROM THE SOCKET.

                                                    THE NEED TO BE RIGHT

                   MOST PEOPLE HAVE A DEEP DOWN NEED TO BE RIGHT. HOWEVER, WHEN YOU STOP CARING IF YOU ARE RIGHT OR WRONG, ALL THE EMOTIONS SURROUNDING THIS NEED FOR RIGHTNESS DISAPPEAR. DR.GERALD JAMPOLSKY ASKED THE GREAT QUESTION, "DO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT, OR DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY?

                   SOME PEOPLE BECOME PASSIONATE ABOUT THEIR POLITICAL OR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS, ALL OF WHICH HAVE BEEN LEARNED FROM SOMEONE ELSE IN SOME WAY. BUT WHEN YOU PUT THOSE BELIEFS ASIDE FOR A WHILE, THEY LOSE THEIR ABILITY TO STIR YOUR EMOTIONS OR TO INFLAME YOUR ANGER.

                    I HAVE FRIEDS AND MEET PEOPLE AND MEET PEOPLED WITH IDEAS AND OPINIONS THAT RANGE ALL OVER THE POLITICAL AND RELIGIOUS SPECTRUMS. IN MOST CASES, WE GET ALONG WELL TOGETHER BECAUSE WE SIMPLY PUT ASIDE THE DELIBERATELY DISCIPLINE OURSELVES TO DETACH FROM THESE IDEAS, WE FOCUS INSTEAD ON SUBJECTS THAT WED AGREE ON AND IN WHICH WE SHARE COMMON INTERESTS.

                                 REFUSE TO BLAME ANYONE FOR ANYTHING

                            THE CHIEF CAUSE OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND THE PRIMARY DESTROYER OF INNER PEACE IS BLAME. AS I MENTIONED EARLIER IN THE BOOK, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A NEGATIVE EMOTION WITHOUT HAVING SOMEONE OR SOMETHING TO BLAME IS SOMEWAY OR FOR SOMETHING.

                            BLAME REQUIRES ONE OR BOTH OF TWO FACTORS TO EXIST. THE FIRST IS IDENTIFICATION. THIS OCCURS WHEN YOU TAKE SOMETHING PERSONALLY. YOU IDENTIFY WITH IT. AS SOON AS YOU DECIDE TO FEEL THAT SOMEONE HAS DONE OR SAID SOMETHING NEGATIVE THAT AFFECTS, YOUR PERSONAL INTERESTS IN SOME WAY, YOU IMMEDIATELY BECOME ANGRY AND BLAME THAT PERSON.

                             EVEN IF SOMEONE WHO IS HURRYING TO WORK, COMPLETELY PREOCCUPIED, AND WHO MAY HAVE JUST HAD A FIGHT WITH HIS OR HER SPOUSE ACCIDENTLY CUTS YOU OFF IN TRAFFIC, YOU CAN IMMEDIATELY, BECOME ANGRY AT THAT PERSON, A COMPLETE STRANGER, BECAUSE YOU TOOK HIS DRIVING BEHAVIOR PERSONALLY.

                          BUT WHEN YOU DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO DETACH AND STOP TAKING THINGS PERSONALLY, THE NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL CHARGE CONNECTED WITH THE PERSON OR INCIDENT STOPS ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN SOMEONE CUTS YOU OFF IN TRAFFIC, YOU CAN DETACH FROM THE SITUATION EMOTIONALLY BY SAYING TO YOURSELF, "OH WELL, HE'S PROBABLY IN A HURRY TO GET TO WORK. MAYBE HE'S LATE".

                                 THE MINUTE YOU SAY THAT TO YOURSELF, ALL NEGATIVITY ASSOCIATED WITH THE EVENT VANISHES AND YOU BECOME CALM, RELAXED, AND POSITIVE ONE MORE.