HAPPINESS IS THE TRUE MEASURE OF YOUR SUCCESS

                                 

                                          THE HAPPINESS

                        NO HORSE GETS ANYWHERE UNTIL HE IS HARNESSED.

                 NO STREAM OR GAS DRIVES ANYTHIN UNTIL IT IS CONFINED.

                        NO NIAGARA IS EVER TURNED INTO LIGHT AND POWER UNTIL IT IS 

               TUNNELED. NO LIFE EVER GROWS GREAT UNTIL IT IS FOCUSED,

                         DEDICATED, DISCIPLINED".

                                                                                                       --- HARRY EMERSON FOSDICK

                          YOUR ABILITY TO ACHIEVE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS IS THE TRUE MEASURE OF YOUR SUCCESS IN LIFE, NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT. NOTHING CAN REPLACE IT. IF YOU ACCOMPLISH EVERYTHING OF A MATERIAL NATURE, BUT YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, YOU HAVE ACTUALLY FAILED AT FULLFILLING YOUR POTENTIAL AS A HUMAN BEING.

                        I DESCRIBE HOW HUMAN BEINGS ARE PURPOSEFUL,STRIVING TOWARD ACHIEVING GOALS AND END RESULTS. HOWEVER, BEHIND EACH GOAL LIES ANOTHER GOAL, AND THEN STILL ANOTHER GOAL, UNTIL YOU FINALLY ARRIVE AT THE "PRIMUM MOVUM" OR FIRST - MOVING FORCE, IN HUMAN LIFE. THIS ALWAYS TURNS OUT TO BE THE DESIRE TO BE HAPPY. YOU CAN ONLY TRULY BE HAPPY WHEN YOU PRACTICE SELF-DISCIPLINE, SELF - MASTERY, AND SELF-CONTROL, IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE THAT YOU ARE TRULY CONTENT. 

                  ACTION EXERCISE 

 

 

                   1. IDENTIFY THE AREAS OF YOUR LIFE IN WHICH YOU FEEL THE HAPPIEST AND THE MOST IN CONTROL. HOW COULD YOU EXPAND THEM?

                 

                   2. IDENTIFY THE AREAS OF YOUR LIFE IN WHICH YOU FEEL CONTROLLED BY OTHER PEOPLE OR FACTORS. WHAT COULD YOU DO TO RESOLVED THESE SITUATIONS?

                 

                   3. IDENTIFY THOSE AREAS IN YOUR LIFE IN WHICH THERE IS A GAP BETWEEN YOUR CURRENT LEVELS OF ACCOMPLISHMENT AND WHAT YOU WOULD REALLY LIKE TO ACHIEVE . WHAT COULD YOU DO TO BRIDGE THESE GAPS?

                   4. IDENTIFY THE MOST PRESSING NEEDS YOU HAVE TODAY THAT ARE NOT BEING FULLFILLED. HOW COULD YOU BEGIN TO SATISFY THESE DEFICIENCY NEEDS?

           

                    5. IDENTIFY THOSE ACTIVITIES THAT GIVE YOU THE GREATEST FEELING OF PERSONAL HAPPINESS, YOUR "PEAK EXPERIENCE" IN LIFE. WHAT COULD YOU DO TO INCREASE THESE MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS?

                    6. IDENTIFY THOSE AREAS IN LIFE IN WHICH YOU FEEL THE MOST DISCONTENTED. WHAT STEPS COULD YOU TAKED IMMEDIATELY TO RESOLVE THESE FEELINGS OF DISONTENT?

                    7. DEFINE "HAPPINESS" FOR YOURSELF. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHAT WOULD HAVE TO HAPPEN FOR YOU TO FEEL TRULY HAPPY? WHAT COULD YOU DO IMMEDIATELY TO CREATE THIS SITUATION?

YOUR WORK

 

                            THE DISCIPLINE OF WORK

                          " LEADERS AREN'T BORN, THEY ARE MADE. AND THEY ARE MADE 

         JUST LIKE ANYTHING ELSE, THROUGH HARD WORK, AND THAT'S THE PRICE

                            WE'LL HAVE TO PAY TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL, OR ANY GOAL".

                                                                                                           --- VINCE LOMBARDI

                                     THERE IS PERHAPS NO AREA OF YOUR LIFE WHERE SELF-DISCIPLINE HAS A GREATER IMPACT OF YOUR FUTURE THAN IN YOUR WORK. YET, IF YOU'RE LIKE MOST PEOPLE, FROM THE TIME YOU START IN THE MORNING AND THEN CONTINUING THROUGH OUT THE DAY, YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE AND EVENTS THAT DRAW YOU AWAY FROM DOING THE THINGS THAT ARE MOST IMPORTANT. HOWEVER, IT IS THROUGH DOING YOUR MOST IMPORTANT TASKS THAT YOU MOVE ONWARD AND UPWARD, QUICKLY AND DEPENDABLY IN YOUR CAREER.

                               A GROUP OF SENIOR EXECUTIVES WAS ASKED, WHAT ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITIES THAT A PERSON WOULD NEED TO BE PROMOTED IN YOUR COMPANY? OF THESE EXECUTIVES 85 PERCENT AGREED THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITIES ARE 

                             1. THE ABILITY TO SET PRIORITIES AND WORK ON HIGH VALUE TASKS,                                     AND

                             2.  THE DISCIPLINE TO GET THE JOB DONE QUICKLY AND WELL.

                     IT SEEMS THAT THESE TWO QUALITIES ARE MORE HELPFUL FOR CAREER SUCCESS THAN ANYTHING ELSE A PERSON CAN DO. DILIGENT, DISCIPLINED, FOCUSED WORK WILL ENABLE YOU TO CONSISTENTLY AND PREDICTLY GET MORE DONE, GET PAID MORE, AND GET PROMOTED FASTER THROUGHOUT YOUR CAREER THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON.

                              LOOK THE PART DRESS

                                   FOR SUCCESS

                     FINALLY, YOU NEED TO DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO LOOK THE PART. REMEMBER, BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER" WHEN IT COME TO PRESENTATION, THIS MEANS THAT PEOPLE LIKE TO PROMOTE OTHERS  WHO LOOK LIKE THEM. YOUR BOSSESS ARE VERY MORE PEOPLE WHO THEY ARE PROUD TO INTRODUCE TO THEIR IN SUCH A WAY THAT YOUR BOSS WOULD BE PROUD TO TAKE YOU OUT FOR LUNCH AND INTRODUCE YOU TO OTHERS AS A REPRESENTATIVE OF HIS OR HER COMPANY.

                      EACH MORNING BEFORE YOU GO TO WORK, LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ASK YOURSELF, DO I LOOK LIKE ONE OF THE TOP PEOPLE IN MY FIELD? IF YOU DON'T GO BACK AND CHANGE - AND KEEP CHANGING UNTIL YOU LOOK LIKE ONE OF THE TOP PEOPLE IN YOUR BUSINESS.

                          LEARN HOW TO DRESS FOR SUCCESS. READ BOOKS AND ARTICLES, OR ASK OTHERS FOR ADVICE. LOOK AT THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE IN YOUR BUSINESS AND DRESS THE WAY THEY DO. DRESS FOR THE JOB TWO LEVELS ABOVE YOUR CURRENT JOB. REMEMEBER THAT FULLY 95 PERCENT OF THE FIRST IMPRESSION YOU MAKE ON THE OTHER PEOPLE WILL BE DETERMINED BY YOUR DRESS AND GROOMING. MAKE SURE THAT FIRST IMPRESSION - AND THEN THE SECOND AND THIRD IMPRESSIONS - ARE CONSISTENT WITH THE MESSAGE YOU WANT TO SEND.

                           MANY PEOPLE WORK THEIR ENTIRE LIVES WITHOUT REALIZING THAT BY PUTTING FORWARD A LITTLE EXTRA EFFORT, WORKING A LITTLE HARDER, AND FOCUSING ON HIGHER - VLUE TASKS, THEY COULD BECOME ONE OF THE MOST VALUABLE PEOPLE IN THEIR ORGANIZATIONS. WHEN YOU DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO CONTINUALLY  INCREASE THE VALUE OF YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO YOUR COMPANY, YOU WILL PUT YOUR CAREER ON THE FAST TRACK AND VIRTUALLY GUARANTEE YOURSELF A WONDERFUL FUTURE.

                       IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, YOU WILL LEAR THAT YOUR WORK BEHAVIORS NATURALLY DETERMINE YOUR ASCENTION TO LEADERSHIP, AND YOU WILL SEE HOW SELF-DISCIPLINE IS ESSENTIAZL TO FULLFILLING YOUR POTENTIAL AS A LEADER.

                                 ACTION EXERCISES:

                     1. MAKE A DECISION TODAY THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BECOME ONE OF THE TOP 20 PERCENT OF PEOPLE IN YOUR COMPANY - AND YOUR INDUSTRY. WHAT SHOULD YOU OR COULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY.?

                    2. MAKE A LIST OF EVERTHING YOU DO IN YOUR JOB AND THEN  IDENTIFY THE THREE TASKS THAT CONTRIBUTE THE GREATEST VALUE OF YOUR WORK AND COMPANY.

                   3. SET A NEW WORK SCHEDULE FOR YOURSELF AND BEGIN TO START EARLIER, WORK HARDER, AND STAY LATER UNTIL IT BECOMES A HABIT.

                   4. IDENTIFY THE MOST IMPORTANT RESULTS YOU ARE EXPECTED TO ACHIEVE IN YOUR JOB, AND THEN WORK ON THOSE RESULTS ALL DAY LONG.

                  5. DETERMINE THE PERSON WHO IS THE BEST DRESSED AND GROOMED IN YOUR COMPANY, AND THEN RESOLVE TO USE HIM/HER AS A ROLE MODEL FOR YOUR OWN APPEARANCE.

 

                   6. DECIDE TODAY THAT, FROM NOW ON, YOU ARE GOING TO ACTUALLY WORK ALL THE TIME YOU ARE AT WORK AND THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DEVELOP THE REPUTATION FOR BEING THE HARDEST WORKING PERSON IN YOUR COMPANY.

                   7. DEVELOP A SENSE OF URGENCY. RESOLVED TO MOVE FAST WHEN YOU ARE GIVEN A JOB OR OPPORTUNITY. THIS CAN  CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

SELF MOTIVATION

 

                                           MOTIVATION

                       PEOPLE WHO ARE THE MOST SUCCESSFUL AT WHETHER THEY DO ARE THOSE WHO ARE THEIR OWN BEST MOTIVATORS. THEY STAND ON THEIR OWN FEET, GET THEMSELVES MOVING, PUT THEMSELVES IN CHANGE OF THEIR OWN SUCCESS.

                      INSTEAD OF RELYIG ON THE OUTSIDE WORLD TO MOTIVATE YOU, THINK HOW MUCH BETTER IT WOULD BE IF YOU COULD ALWAYS RELY ON YOURSELF FOR THAT SAME MOTIVATION. IF YOU WIRE IN THE RIGHT WORDS TO USE WHEN YOU TALK TO YOURSELF, YOU CAN EASILY LEARN TO GIVE YOURSELF THE MOTIVATION YOU NEED, ANYTIME YOU NEED IT.

                     HERE ARE A FEW EXAMPLES. THIS FIRST SCRIPT OF SELF-TALK FOR MOTIVATION IS THE KIND OF SELF-TALK THAT IS DESIGNED TO GET YOU EMOTIONALLY "UP". IT TAKES TO YOU ABOUT YOU IN A WAY THAT GETS YOU MOVING, WHILE IT SUPPORTS THAT MOTIVATION WITH SELF-TALK THAT GIVES YOU EXTRA BELIEF IN YOURSELF. YOU ARE NOT ONLY PROGRAMING YOURSELF TO MEET THE CHALLENGE, YOU ARE ALSO GIVING YOURSELF THE EXTRA INSURANCE  OF THE ADDED BELIEF THAT YOU CAN AND WILL ACCOMPLISH THE TASK YOU ARE SETTING OUT TO DO.

                THIS IS SELF-TALK THAT ANYONE CAN USE AT ANY TIME. IT IS NOT SPECIFIC TO ANY ONE AREA OF MOTIVATION - MAKING MORE SALES, GETTING UP ON TIME, SCORING POINTS IN A BASKETBALL GAME, OR GETTING CAUGHT UP ON YOUR PAPERWORK -BUT IT WILL WORK FOR ALL OF THOSE AND MORE. THIS IS SELF-TALK THAT WILL GIVE YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND A NEW SET OF DIRECTIONS THAT WILL HELP YOU MOTIVATE YOURSELF IN ANY AREA OF YOUR LIFE.

                                            TALK TO YOURSELF EVERYDAY

                          I CAN DO ANYTHING I BELIEVE I CAN DO. I'VE GOT IT AND EVERY DAY I GET MORE OF IT. I HAVE TALENT, SKILLS, AND ABILITY.

                         I SET GOALS AND I REACH THEM. I KNOW WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE. I GO AFTER IT AND I GET IT.

                         PEOPLE LIKE ME, AND I GEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. I HAVE A SENSE OF PRIDE IN WHO I AM AND I BELIEVE IN MYSELF.

                        NOTHING SEEMS TO STOP ME. I HAVE A LOT OF DETERMINATION. I TURN PROBLEMS INTO ADVANTANGES. I FIND POSSIBILITIES IN THINGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE NEVER GIVE A CHANCE.

                         I HAVE A LOT OF ENERGY - I AM VERY ALIVE I ENJOY LIFE AND I CAN TELL IT TO CAN OTHERS. I KEEP MYSELF UP, LOOKING AHEAD, AND LIKING IT.

                         I KNOW THAT I CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING I CHOOSE, AND I REFUSE TO LET ANYTHING NEGATIVE HOLD ME BACK OR STAND IN MY WAY.

                        I AM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING OR ANYMORE. I HAVE STRENGTH, POWER, CONVICTION, AND CONFIDENCE. I LIKE CHALLENGES AND I MEET THEM HEAD-ON, FACE-TO-FACE  TODAY ESPECIALLY.

                     I AM ON TOP OF THE WORLD AND I'M GOING FOR IT. I HAVE A CLEAR PICTURE IN MY MIND OF WHAT I WANT. I CAN SEE IT IN FRONT OF ME. 

                     I KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I KNOW HOW TO GET IT. I KNOW THAT IT'S ALL UP TO ME AND I KNOW ICAN DO IT.

                      ROADBLOCKS DON'T BETTER ME. THEY JUST MEAN THAT I AM ALIVE AND RUNNING, AND I'M NOT GOING TO STAND STILL FOR ANYTHING.

                      I TRUST MYSELF, I'VE NOT GOING TO STAND STILL FOR ANYTHING. 

                      I TRUST MYSELF, I'VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES - PLENTY OF IT - AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT. TODAY MORE THAN EVER. TODAY I AM UNSTOPPABLE I'VE GOT MYSELF TOGETHER AND I'M GETTING MORE TOGETHER EVERY DAY. AND TODAY - LOOK OUT WORLD, HERE I COME. 

                                 TRY READING TO YOURSELF AND LOUND EACH MORNING. WOULDN'T IT BE WONDERFUL IF WE HAD SOMEONE WHO BELIEVED IN US TO MUCH THAT EACH DAY WE COULD COUNT ON BEING TOLD THOSE INCREDIBLE, MOTIVATING TRUTHS ABOUT OURSELVES? IF WE HAD THAT, WE WOULD CERTAINLY HAVE THE TRUST AND FRIEND WE COULD EVER FIND.

                                THE TRUTH IS, OF COURSE, WE DO HAVE THAT FRIENDS, EACH OF US DOES. RIGHT HERE INSIDE OURSELVES. ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS ASK AND OUR FRIEND WILL BE THERE, WITHOUT FAIL, AT ANY TIMED, ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

                            

IMPORTANT HINT TO OUR RELATIONSHIPS

 

                CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK CAN

                            MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIPS.

                              IT IS STRANGE THAT SWORD AND WORDS HAVE THE SAME LETTERS.

                              EVE  MORE STRANGE IS THAT THEY HAVE THE SAME EFFECT IT

                              NOT HANDLED PROPERLY".

                                                                                                                   --- ANONYMOUS

                          MOST OF THE TIME OUR FRUSTRATION COMES FROM IMPROPER DEALSINGS IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS, I SAID TRYIG TO CONSOLE HARRY. AND THIS STEMS FROM OUR POOR COMMUNICATION, WHETHER IT'S OUR BODY LANGUAGE, ACTIONS OR WORDS, WE MUST TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR RELATIONSHIPS, I CONTINUED.

                             BUT IF I'M ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT WHAT TO SAY TO NOT UPSET, MY WIFE, THAT WOULD MAKE LIFE MISERABLE AND SO CALCULATED, HARRY RETORTED.

                              I SIGNED. HARRY YES, WE MUST CHOOSE OUR WORDS CAREFULLY WHEN WE ARE CORRECTING OTHERS, BUT BEFIRE THAT WE MUST LEARN TO INVES APPRECIATION IN THEM".

                              I SETTLED DOWN TO EXPLAIN IN DETAIL. 

                                          CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK: AN ART

                  BEYOND ANY OTHER NEED, THE GREATEST LONGING OF EVERY INDIVIDUALS IS TO GIVE LOVE AND TO BE LOVED. IT IS OUR RELATIONSHIPS THAT ALLOW THIS MANTRA TO COME TO FRUITION. HOWEVER, IT IS SURPRISING THAT THE RELATIONSHIPS WE CHERISH AND KEEP SO CLOSE TO OUR HEART CAN EASILY BE NEGLECTED AND ABUSED. FOR THE MOST PARTS, THIS IS NOT DONE ON PURPOSE, BUT OUT OF IGNORANCE AND AN INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND HOW ONE SHOULD BEHAVE. WE MAY HAVE THE RIGHT INTENTIONS BUT GIVING ADVICE INAPPROPRIATELY MAY DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD. THAT IS WHAY WE MUST LEARN TO DO IT PROPERLY. AND IT TAKES PRACTICE AND INTROPECTION TO DEVELOP THIS ABILITY. ANY TIME YOU FEEL THE NEED TO GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK TO SOMEONE, THINK OF THESE FOUR QUESTIONS.

                                      AM I RIGHT PERSON TO GIVE 

                                         CORRESTIVE FEEDBACK?

                    IS IT APPROPRIATE FOR YOU TO CORRECT THAT PERSON? THERE IS A JOKE THAT EVERY WOMAN THINKS THAT THE BEST CHILD IN THE WORLD IS HER CHILD, AND EVERY MAN THINKS THAT THE BEST WIFE IN THE WORLD IS THE NEIGHBOUR'S WIFE. WE WOULD ALL SCREAM AT SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD WHO IS ABOUT TO INJURE ITSELF, BUT WE ARE NOT TALKING OF THOSE EXCEPTIONAL SITUATIONS. IN ANY OTHER SITUATION WOULD YOU GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK TO SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD? WOULD YOU GIVE FEEDBACK TO ANOTHER'S SPOUSE? IN MOST SITUATIONS, YOU WOULD NOT. THEREFORE WE HAVE TO THINK, AM I THE RIGHT PERSON TO GIVE THIS FEEDBACK OR IS SOMEONE ELSE BETTER SUITED? AM I A RELATIVE? AM I A FRIEND? AM I AN AUTHORITY IN ANY WAY TO GIVE CORRECT FEEDBACK? IF THE ANSWER TO ANY OF THE QUESTIONS IS YES, THEN YOU CAN PROCEED TO THE NEXT ONE.

                     DO I HAVE THE RIGHT MOTIVE TO 

                                               GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK?

                      IT IS SAID THAT WE CAN CONTROL TWO THINGS IN OUR LIFE, OUR DESIRES AND OUR MOTIVES TELL US WHY WE WANT IT. IN MANY CASES, WE MAY CORRECT OTHERS BECAUSE WE WANT TO SETTLE OLD ACCOUNTS. WE MAY HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST THEM AND WE MAY USE THE OPPORTUNITY TO CORRECT THEM, SIMPLY TO EXACT OUR VENGEANCE. BUT THIS SHOULD NOT BE OUR MOTIVE. IT SHOULD BE TO HELP THEM AS FRIEND. WE SHOULD BE CONSCIENTIOUS THAT OUR MOTIVE IS APPROPRIATE, WE WANT TO HELP THEM COME OUT OF THE WRONG THEY ARE DOING. FEEDBACK FROM A PLACE OF LOVE MAY SEEM UNPALATABLE, BUT IT TASTES THE SWEETEST IF DONE APPROPRIATELY AND HAS THE RIGHT EFFECT.

                         TAKING THE TIME TO ASK THESE FOUR QUESTIONS BEFORE GIVING SOMEBODY CORRECTIONAL FEEDBACK CAN CHANGE ONE'S LIFE. TO UNDERSTAND THEM DEEPLY, CONTEMPLATION AND DISCUSSION WITH SOMEONW MORE EXPERIENCED THAN ONESELF ARE REQUIRED AS EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT. THE PRINCIPLES REMAIN THE SAME IN EVERY SITUATION, BUT THE APPLICATION MAY VARY ON A CASE-TO-CASE BASIS, DEPENDING ON THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION OR EVEN OUR RELATIONSHIPWITH THE PERSON. WE WOULD OUR CHILDREN. ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL, NEITHER DO OUR METHODS TO CORRECT.

                      THIS PRACTICE WILL TAKE SOME TIME TO IMPLEMENT, AND FORM INTO A HABIT, HARRY SAID, AS HE LOOKED AWAY FROM THE STEERING WHEEL MOMENTARILY TO LOOK AT ME.

                        YOU'RE RIGHT , I NODDED. HAVING THE KNOWLEDGE OF SOMETHING IS FAR FROM MASTERING IT. GIVING FEEDBACK BADLY IS AN ADDICTION . JUST AS A SMOKER KNOWS THAT CIGARETTERS CAN KILL HIM BUT SMOKES NONETHELESS, SIMILARLY THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH OTHERS BECOMES AN ADDICTION. WE KNOW WHEN WE ARE CARELESS, BUT OUR HABITS FORCE US TO ACT IN A CERTAIN  WAY.

                         HARRY'S EXPRESSION REVERTED TO ONE I HAD SEEN EARLIER IN THIS CAR JOURNEY. HIS FACE DROPPED AND HIS BREATHING SLOWED. WHEN I RETURN FROM THE OFFICE I AM USUALLY STRESSED, HE WHISPERED IAM NOT LIKE THAT GUY IN THE STORY. I REALLY LASH OUT OVER TRIVIAL COULD LEAD UP TO WHAT HAPPENED THE OTHER NIGHT. LALITA AND I GOT INTO A HUGE ARGUMENT OVER SOMETHING TRIVIAL WHICH I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER NOW. THE FIGHT REACHED ITS CRESCENDO, AND SHE SCREAMED AT ME SAYING SHE WANTED A DIVORCE! DIVORCE? HOW CAN SHE WANT A DIVORCE AFTER ALL WE HAVE BEEN THOUGHT? AT THIS POINT. HARRY WAS TALKING TO HIMSELF, CHURNING HIS EMOTIONS. WHAT WOULD MY FAMILY THINK IF I GOT DIVORCED? WOULD MY FRIENDS JUDGE ME? I SUPPOSE BEING CARELESS ABOUT LITTLE THINGS CAN REALLY PROVE TO BE FATAL. BUT I REALLY DO LOVE MY WIFE, AND I KNOW I NEED TO CHANGE, BUT HOW CAN I EVER FORGIVE HER FOR SAYING SOMETHING SO CRUEL AND HURTFUL?

                            ANOTHER QUESTION LOADED WITH EMOTION, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF. I LOOKED OUT OF THE CAR WINDOW. WE WERE DRIVING PAST COUPLES HOLDING HANDS AND WALKING ALONG WITH COASTLINE. I SAID, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT SOMETHING WORSE".

OUT THOUGHTS MAKES US WHAT WE ARE

 

                             LISTEN OUR THOUGHTS

                     A FEW YEARS AGO, I WAS ASKED TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION ON A RADIO PROGRAM: WHAT IS THE BIGGEST LESSON YOU HAVE EVER LEARNED?

                        THAT WAS EASY. BY FAR THE MOST VITAL LESSON I HAVE EVER LEARNED IS THE IMPORTANCE OF WHAT WE THINK. IF I KNEW WHAT YOU THINK, I WOULD KNOW WHAT YOU ARE. OUR THOUGHTS MAKE US WHAT WE ARE. OUR MENTAL ATTITUDE IS THE X FACTOR THAT DETERMINES OUR FATE. EMERSON SAID, A MAN IS WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT ALL DAY LONG". HOW COULD HE POSSIBLY BY ANYTHING ELSE?

                       I NOW KNOW WITH A CONVICTION BEYOND ALL DOUBT THAT THE BIGGEST PROBLEM YOU AND I HAVE TO DEAL WITH - IN FACT, ALMOST THE ONLY PROBLEM WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH - IS CHOOSING THE RIGHT THOUGHTS, IF WE CAN DO THAT, WE WILL BE ON THE HIGHROAD TO SOLVING ALL OUR PROBLEMS. THE GREAT PHILOSOPHER WHO RULED THE ROMAN EMPIRE. MARCUS AURELIUS, SUMMED IT UP IN EIGHT WORLDS - EIGHT WORDS THAT CAN DETERMINE YOUR DESTINY. "OUR LIFE IS WHAT OUR THOUGHTS MAKE IT".

                          YES IF WE THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS, WE WILL BE HAPPY. IF WE THINK MISERABLE THOUGHTS, WE WILL BE MISERABLE. IF WE THINK FEAR THOUGHTS, WE WILL BE FEARFUL. IF WE THINK SICKLY THOUGHTS, WE WILL PROBABLY BE ILL. IF WE THINK FAILURE, WE WILL CERTAINLY FAIL IT. WE WALLOW IN SELF-PITY, EVERYONE WILL WANT TO SHUN US AND AVOID US. "YOU ARE NOT", SAID NORMAN VINCENT PEALE" YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE, BUT WHAT YOU THINK, YOU ARE".

                          AM I ADVOCATING HABITUAL POLLYANNA ATTITUDE TOWARD ALL OUR PROBLEM? NO, UNFORTUNATELY LIFE ISN'T SO SIMPLE AS ALL THAT. BUT I AM ADVOCATING THAT WE ASSUME A POSITIVE ATTITUDE  INSTEAD OF A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE. IN OTHER WORDS, WE NEED TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT OUR PROBLEMS, BUT NOT WORRIED. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CONCERN AND WORRY? LET ME ILLUSTRATE. EVERY TIME I CROSS THE TRAFFIC-JAMMED STREETS OF NEW YORK, I AM CONCERED ABOUT WHAT I AM DOING - BUT NOT WORRIED, CONCERN MEANS REALIZING WHAT THE PROBLEMS ARE, AND CALMLY TAKING STEPS TO MEET THEM. WORRYING MEANS GOING AROUND IN MADDENING, FUTILE CIRCLES.

                     JUST FOR TODAY I WILL BE UNAFRAID, ESPECIALLY I WILL NOT BE AFRAID TO BE HAPPY, TO ENJOY WHAT IS BEAUTIFUL, TO LOVE, AND TO BELIEVE THAT THOSE I LOVE, LOVE ME.

                     IF WE WANT TO DEVELOP A MENTAL ATTITUDE THAT WILL BRING US PEACE AND HAPPINESS, HERE IS RULE!

              THINK AND ACT CHEERFULLY, AND YOU WILL FEEL CHEERFUL

                        "I AM SO FAR FROM BEING A PESSIMIST-- ON THE CONTRARY,

                        IN SPIRTE OF MY SCARS, I AM TICKLED TO DEATH AT LIFE".

                                                                                                                 --- EUGENE O NEILL

                        IF YOU LOOK INTO YOUR OWN HEART, AND YOU FIND NOTHING WRONG THERE, WHAT IS THERE TO WORRY ABOUT?

                                            WHAT IS THERE TO FEAR?"

                                                                                                                --- CONFUCIUS

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY

 

                            

                                THE POWER OF MONEY

                                         "POVERTY CONSISTS IN FEELING POOR"

                                                                                           --- RALPH WALDO EMERSON

                    

                           HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY? MOST PEOPLE WOULD SAY THEY LOVE MONEY, BUT IF THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH, THEY DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT AT ALL. IF A PERSON HAS ALL THE MONEY THEY NEED, THEN MOST CERTAINLY THEY FEEL GOOD ABOUT MONEY. SO YOU CAN TELL HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HAVE ALL YOU NEED, THEN YOU DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT MONEY.

                           IF YOU LOOK OUT INTO THE WORLD, YOU WILL SEE THAT THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT MONEY, BECAUSE THE MAJORITY OF THE WORLD'S MONEY AND RICHES IS IN THE HANDS OF ABOUT TO PERCENT OF THE PEOPLE. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE WEALTHY PEOPLE AND EVERYONE ELSE IS THAT THE WEALTHY PEOPLE GIVE MORE GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT MONEY THAN THEY DO BAD FEELINGS. IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

                       WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY PEOPLE FEEL BAD ABOUT MONEY? IT'S NOT BECAUSE THEY HAVE NEVER HAD MONEY, BECAUSE MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MONEY BEGAN WITH NOTHING. THE REASON WHY SO MANY PEOPLE FEEL BAD ABOUT MONEY IS THAT THEY HAVE NEGATIVE BELIEFS ABOUT MONEY, AND THOSE NEGATIVE BELIEFS WERE FED INTO THEIR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND WHEN THEY WERE CHILDREN. BELIEFS LIKE "WE CAN'T AFFORD THAT, "MONEY IS EVIL, "RICH PEOPLE MUST BE DISHONEST", WANTING MONEY IS WRONG AND IT'S NOT SPIRITUAL", HAVING PLENTY OF MONEY MEANS HARD WORK".

                       WHEN YOU'RE A CHILD, YOU ACCEPT JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING YOUR PARENTS, TEACHERS, OR SOCIETY TELL YOU. AND SO WITHOUT REALIZING IT, YOU GROW UP HAVING NEGATIVE FEELINGS ABOUT MONEY, THE IRONY IS THAT, AT THE SAME TIME THAT YOU'RE TOLD THAT WANTING MONEY IS WRONG, YOU ARE TOLD THT YOU HAVE TO EARN A LIVING, EVEN IF IT MEANS DOING WORK YOU DON'T LOVE. MAYBE YOU WERE EVEN TOLD THAT THERE ARE ONLY CERTAIN JOBS YOU CAN DO TO EARN A LIVING, THAT IT'S A LIMITED LIST.

                            NONE OF THESE THING IS TRUE. THE PEOPLE WHO TOLD YOU THESE THINGS IS TRUE. THE PEOPLE WHO TOLD YOU THESE THINGS ARE INNOCENT BECAUSE THEY WERE PASSING ON WHAT THEY BELIEVED AND FELT WAS TRUE, BUT BECAUSE THEY BELIEVED IT, THE LAW OF ATTRACTION MADE IT TRUE IN THEIR LIVES. NOW YOU ARE LACK MONEY IN YOUR LIFE, IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE GIVING OUT MORE BAD FEELINGS THAN YOU ARE GIVING GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT MONEY.

                        " WHEN YOU REALIZE THERE IS NOTHING LACKING

                           THE WHOLE WORLD BELONGS TO YOU".

                                                                                    --- LAO LZU

                       HOW TO CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY

 

                          WHEN YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY, THE AMOUNT OF MONEY IN YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE. THE BETTER YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY, THE MORE MONEY YOU MAGNETIZE TO YOURSELF.

                            IF YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH MONEY, THEN RECEIVING BILLS WON'T MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. BUT THE MOMENT YOU REACT NEGATIVELY TO A BIG BILL, YOU GIVE BAD FEELINGS, AND MOST SURELY YOU WILL MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT WHEN YOU PAY YOUR BILLS, YOU FIND A WAY, ANYWAY, TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. NEVER PAY YOUR BILLS WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL GOOD, BECAUSE YOU WILL JUST BRING BIGGER BILLS TO YOU.

                        TO CHANGE WHAT YOU'RE GEELING, YOU NEED TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO TURN YOUR BILLS INTO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER. YOU CAN IMAGINE THEY'RE NOT REALLY BILLS AT ALL BUT INSTEAD YOU'VE DECIDED TO DONATE MONEY TO EACH COMPANY OR PERSON OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF YOUR HEART, BECAUSE OF THE WONDERFUL SERVICE THEY PROVIDE.

                    IMAGINE YOUR BILLS ARE CHECKS YOU'RE RECEIVING. OR USE GRATITUDE AND GIVE THANKS TO THE COMPANY WHO SENT YOU THE BILL, BY THINKING ABOUT HOW YOU'VE BENEFIED FROM THEIR SERVICE FOR ELECTRICITY OR BEING ABLE TO LIVE IN A HOME. YOU CAN WRITE ACROSS THE FRONT OF A BILL WHEN YOU PAY IT, THANK YOU- PAID". IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY THE BILL RIGHT AWAY, WRTE ACROSS THE FRONT OF IT, "THANK YOU FOR THE MONEY". THE LAW OF ATTRACTIO DOESN'T QUESTION WHETHER WHAT YOU IMAGINE AND FEEL IS REAL OR NOT. IT RESPONDS TO WHAT YOU GIVE PERIOD.

                            "YOU ARE REWARED NOT ACCORDING TO YOUR WORK OR

                              YOUR TIME BUT ACCORDING TO THE MEASURE OF YOUR LOVE".    

                                                                                                       -- SAINT CATHERINE OF SIENA

                          WHEN YOU RECEIVE YOUR SALARY, BE GRATEFUL FOR IT SO IT MULTIPLES! MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN FEEL GOOD WHEN THEY ARE PAID, BECAUSE THEY'RE SO WORRIED ABOUT HOW TO MAKE THEIR SALARY LAST. THEY MISS AN INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE LOVE EVERY TIME THEY'RE PAID. WHEN SOME MONEY COMES INTO YOUR HANDS, NO MATTER HOW LITTLE IT IS, GRATEFUL! REMEMBER, WHATEVER YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR MULTIPLIES. GRATITUDE IS THE GREAT MULTIPLIER!

                   POINTS :

                   * IT'S THE ATTRACTIVE FORCE OF LOVE THAT MOVES ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD, AND WHOEVER IS GIVING LOVE BY FEELING GOOD IS A MAGNET FOR MONEY.

                   * YOU CAN TELL YOU FEEL ABOUT MONEY, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HAVE ALL YOU NEED, THEN YOU DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT MONEY.

                   * LOVE IS THE ATTRACTIVE FORCE THAT BRINGS MONEY, AND LOVE IS ALSO THE POWER THAT MAKES MONEY STICK.

                  * WHEN YOU PAY YOUR BILLS, FIND A WAY, ANY WAY, TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL GOOD. IMAGINE YOUR BILLS ARE CHECKS YOU'RE RECEIVING. OR USE GRATITUDE AND GIVE THANKS TO THE COMPANY WHO SENT YOU THE BILL.

                 *WHEN SOME MONEY COMES INTO YOUR HANDS, NO MATTER HOW SMALL IT IS, BE GRATEFUL ! REMEMBER GRATITUDE IS THE GREAT MULTIPLIER.

                 * FEEL LOVE WHEN YOU PAY FOR ANYTHING INSTEAD OF FEELING BAD BECAUSE YOU HAVE LESS MONEY. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO IS THED DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAVING PLENTY OF MONEY, AND STRUGGLING WITH MONEY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

                  *USE PHYSICAL MONEY AS YOUR CUE TO REMEMBER TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT PLENTY OF MONEY. IMAGINE THE FRONT OF EACH BILL AS THE POSITIVE SIDE, WHICH REPRESENTS PLENTY OF MONEY. EACH TIME YOU HANDLE MONEY, DELIBERATELY FLIP THE BILL SO THE FRONT IS FACING YOU.

                    * IF YOU FEEL REALLY OOD ABOUT SUCCESS, NO MATTER WHOSE SUCCESS IT IS YOU STICK SUCCESS TOYOU!

                     * GIVE IN EQUAL VALUE TO THE MONEY YOU RECEIVE THROUG PROFITS OR YOUR SALARY. IF YOU GIVE MORE VALUE THAN THE MONEY YOU'RE RECEIVING YOUR BUSINESS AND CAREER WILL TAKE OFF.

                    * MONEY IS ONLY A TOOL FOR YOU TO EXPERIENCE THE THINGS YOU LOVE IN LIFE. THE ATTRACTIVE FORCE OF LOVE HAS UNLIMITED WAYS FOR YOU TO RECEIVE WHAT YOU WANT, AND ONLY ONE OF THOSE WAYS INVOLVES MONEY.

                    * IMAGINE BEING WITH WHAT YOU LOVE, DOING WHAT YOU LOVE, AND HAVING THE THINGS YOU LOVE, BECAUSE YOU WILL FEEL FOR MORE LOVE THAN YOU WILL IF YOU ONLY THINK ABOUT MONEY.

                     * THE BEAUTY OF LIFE IS THAT WHAT YOU PUT LOVE FIRST, ALL THE MONEY YOU NEED TO LIVE A FULL LIFE COMES TO YOU.

HOW TO SALE YOUR PRODUCT

 

                              THE DISCIPLINE OF SALES

                         THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT IN BUSINESS SUCCESS IS SELLING. NOTHING HAPPENS UNTIL A SALE TAKE PLACE. ALL THE FACTORIES, BUSINESS, OFFICESS, AND PRODUCES OF GOODS AND SERVICES LEAP INTO ACTION ONLY WHEN SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE MAKES A SALE TO SOMEONE.

                         SELLING IS ONE OF THE HARDEST PROFESSIONS IN AMERICA. IT IS ALSO THE ONLY PROFESSION IN WHICH A PERSON CAN START WITH LIMITED SKILLS TO ACHIEVE ONE OF THE HIGHEST INCOMES IN OUR ECONOMY. MOVING ONWARD AND UPWARD IN SALES IS LIKE DRIVING ON THE AUTOBAHN IN GERMANY. THERE ARE NO SPEED LIMITS. YOU CAN GO AS FAR AND AS FAST AS YOU WANT BY STEPPING ON THE ACCELERATOR OF YOUR OWN AMBITION AND DETERMINATION TO EXCEL IN THE PROFESSION OF SALES.

                      DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO MAKE YOUR FIST CALL EARLY IN THE MORNING, 7.00 OR 8.00 AM. WHEN YOU START  YOUR DAY WITH A FACE-TO-FACE SALES CALL, YOU WILL BE MOST ENERGIZED AND MOTIVATED TO CONTINUE SELLING ALL DAY LONG.

                      DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO CLUSTER YOUR CALLS IN A SMALL GEOGRAPHICAL AREA SO THAT YOU CAN GET FACE WITH MORE PEOPLE IN A SHORTER AMOUNT OF TIME. MANY SALES PEOPLE, BECAUSE OF THEIR FEAR OF REJECTION, SPREAD THEIR CALLS OUT BECAUSE OF THEIR FEAR OF REJECTION, SPREAD THEIR CALLS OUT OVER A LARGE GEOGRAPHICAL AREA THEN CONVINCE THEMSELVES THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY WORKING WHEN THEY ARE REALLY SIMPLY DRIVING FROM CALL TO CALL.

 

                        REMEMBER: YOU ARE WORKING ONLY WHEN YOU ARE EAR TO EAR TO FACE TO FACE WITH SOMEONW WHO CAN AND WILL BUY WITHIN A REASONABLE PERIOD OF TIME. AT ALL OTHER TIMES, YOU ARE "UNEMPLOYED".

                                 SET HIGHER STANDARDS FOR YOURSELF

                           DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO ACT EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY AS IF EVERYONE WERE WATCHING YOU. OUTSIDE SALESPEOPLE REQUIRE  A HIGHER LEVEL OF DISCIPLINE THAN PEOPLE WHO WORK IN THE OFFICE WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE THEM. BECAUSE SALESPEOPLE ARE ON THEIR OWN, LIKE GUERILLA FIGHERS IN THE SALES JUNGLE, THE TEMPTATION IS NEVER ENDING TO SLACK OFF, TO TAKE IT EASY, OR TO GO FOR COFFEE OR LUNCH RATHER THAN T MAKE SALES CALLS.

                           TO PERFORM AT YOUR BEST, YOU MUST DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO WORK THROUGHOUT THE DAY - AS THOUGH YOUR SALES MANAGER WAS DOING A "RIDE-ALONG". IMAGINE THAT YOUR SALES MANAGER IS SITTING NEXT TO YOU ALL DAY LONG. HOW WOULD YOUR WORK DIFFERENTLY IF SOMEONW WERE ACCOMPANING YOU AND OBSERVING EVERYTHING YOU DID THROUGHOUT THE DAY? WHATEVER YOUR ANSWER THAT IS HOW YOU SHOULD WORK - EVEN WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS AROUND.

                                 ALL SALES SKILLS ARE LEARNABLE

                  TO BECOME ONE OF THE HIGHEST PAID SALESPEOPLE IN YOUR INDUSTRY, YOU MUST DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO PRACTICE CONTINOUS PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. READ IN YOUR FIELD EVERY DAY. LISTEN TO EDUCATIONAL AUDIO PROGRAMS IN YOUR CARAS YOU DRIVE ALONG. ATTEND EVERY SALES SEMINAR YOU CAN, WHETHER SPONSORED BY YOUR COMPANY OR NOT. DEDICATE YOURSELF TO CONTINOUS LEARNING AS IF YOUR FUTURE DEPENDS ON IT - BECAUSE IT DOES.

                    THE TURNING POINT IN MY LIFE WHEN  I WAS A YOUNG SALESMAN - FRUSTRATED AND UNHAPPY, GOING IN CIRCLES, AND BARELY MAKING A LIVING - WAS WHEN I LEARNED THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT. I LEARNED THAT "IF YOU DO WHAT THE MOST SUCCESSFUL SALESPEOPLE DO, OVER AND OVER, THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN STOP YOU FROM EVENTUALLY ACHIEVING THE SAME RESULTS AND REWARDS THAT THEY DO."

                    I LEARNED THAT EVERY SALESPEOPLE IN THE TOP PERCENT STARTED IN THE BOTTOM  10 PERCENT. EVERYONE WHO IS DOING WELL TODAY WAS AT ONE TIME DOING POORLY. EVERY PERSON AT THE TOP OF YOUR FIELD WAS AT ONE TIME NOT IN YOUR FIELD AT ALL AND DID NOT KNOW THAT IT EXISTED.

                    I LEARNED THAT ALL SALES SKILLS ARE LEARNABLE. YOU CAN LEARN ANY SALES SKILL YOU NEED TO LEARN TO ACHIEVE ANY SALES GOAL YOU CAN SET FOR YOURSELF. THERE ARE NO LIMITS EXCEPT THE LIMITS YOU PLACE ON YOURSELF WITH YOUR OWN THINKING.

                    WHEN YOU DISCIPLINED YOURSELF TO BECOME ONE OF THE TOP SALESPEOPLE IN YOUR FIELD, YOU WILL FIND THAT YOU WILL HAVE TURED AN IMPORTANT CORNER IN YOUR CAREER. MOST SALESPEOPLE DO ONLY WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO TO KEEP THEIR JOBS. BUT THOSE PEOPLE WHO RESOLVE TO BECOME THE BEST IN THEIR FIELDS ACCOMPLISH FAR MORE THAN ANYMORE ELSE.YOUR JOB IS TO BE ONE OF THEM.

                  IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, WE WILL TAKE ABOUT MONEY AND HOW THE PRACTICE OF SELF-DISCIPLINE IN THIS AREA CAN DRAMATICALLY INCREASE YOUR LIKEHOOD OF ACHIEVING ALL YOUR FINANCIAL GOALS.

 

                    POINTS 

                1. SEE YOURSELF AS THE PRESIDENT OF YOUR OWN PERSONAL SALES CORPORATION, COMPLETELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SALES RESULTS. THIS IS THE ATTITUDE OF THE HIGHEST PAID SALESPEOPLE.

                 2. SET CLEAR, WRITTEN INCOME GOALS FOR YOUSELF FOR THE NEXT TWELVE MONTHS AS WELL AS GOALS FOR EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR.

                 3.DETERMINE EXACTLY HOW MUCH OF YOUR PRODUCT OR SERVICE YOU WILL HAVE TO SELL IN ORDER TO EARN THAT DESIRED INCOME. 

                  4. DETERMINE HOW MANY INDIVIDUALS SALES YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE, BASED ON YOUR AVERAGE SIZE OF SALE AND AMOUNT OF COMMISSION EARNED.

                  5. DETERMINE HOW MANY PROSPECTS YOU WILL HAVE TO CALL ON, BASED ON YOUR CURRENT EXPERIENCE, TO MAKE THIS NUMBER OF SALES.

                 6. DEDICATE YOURSELF TO CONTINUOUS IMPROVMENT IN SALES BY READING EACH DAY, LISTENING TO AUDIOS IN YOUR CAR, AND ATTENDING SALES SEMINARS.

                   7. SPEND EVERY MINUTES OF EVERY SALES SAY GETTING FACE TO FACE WITH PEOPLE WHO CAN AND WILL BUY FROM YOU IN THE NEAR FUTURE.