THE POWER OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

 

                               ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY, 

                                     SUCCESS IS POSSIBLE

                    YOUR ABILITY AND WILLINGNESS TO DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO ACCEPT PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE ARE ESSENTIAL TO HAPPINESS, HEALTH, SUCCESS, ACHIEVEMENT, AND PERSONAL LEADERSHIP. ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY IS ONE OF THE HARDEST OF ALL DISCIPLINE, BUT WITHOUT IT, NO SUCCESS IS POSSIBLE.

                    THE FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY AND THE ATTEMPTS TO FOIST RESPONSIBILITY FOR THINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAT MAKES YOU UNHAPPY ONTO OTHER PEOPLE, INSTITUTIONS, AND SITUATIONS COMPLETELY DISTORT CAUSE AND EFFECT, UNDERMINE YOUR CHARACTER, WEAKEN, YOUR RESOLVE, AND DIMINISH YOUR HUMANITY. THEY LEAD TO MAKING ENDLESS EXCUSES.

                              MY GREAT REVELATION

                        WHEN I WAS TWENTY-ONE, I WAS LIVING IN A TINY APARTMENT AND WORKING AS A CONSTRUCTION LABORER. I HAD TO GET UP AT 5.00 SO THAT I COULD TAKE THREE BUSES TO WORK IN ORDER TO BE THERE BY 8.00 A.M I DIDN'T GET HOME UNTIL 7.00 P.M, TIRED OUT FROM CARRYING CONSTRUCTION MATERIALS ALL DAY. I WAS MAKING JUST ENOUGH MONEY TO GET BY, AND I HAD NO CAR, ALMOST NO SAVINGS, AND JUST ENOUGH CLOTHES FOR MY NEEDS. I HAD NO RADIO OR TELEVISION.

                   IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF A COLD WINTER, WITH THE TEMPERATURE AT MINUS 35 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT, SO I SELDOM WENT OUT IN MY SMALL APARTMENT AT MY LITTEL TABLE IN MY KITCHEN NOOK AND READ.

               ONE EVENING, LATE AT NIGHT, I WAS SITTING THERE BY MYSELF AT THE TABLE, IT SUDDENLY DAWNED ON ME THAT "THIS IS MY LIFE". THIS LIFE WAS NOT A REHEARSAL FOR SOMETHING ELSE. THE GAME WAS ON, AND I WAS THE MAIN CHARACTER, AS IN A PLAY.

                 IT WAS LIKE A FLASHBULB GOING OFF IN MY FACE. I LOOKED AT MYSELF AND AROUND ME AT MY SMALL APARTMENT, AND I CONSIDERED THE FACT THAT I HAD NOT GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL. THE ONLY WORK THAT I WAS QUALIFIED TO DO WAS MANUAL LABOR. I EARNED JUST ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY MY BASIC EXPENSES, AND I HAD VERY LITTLE LEFT OVER AT THE END OF EACH MONTH.

                     I SUDDENLY KNEW THAT UNLESS I CHANGED, NOTHING ELSE WAS GOING TO CHANGE. NO ONE ELSE WAS GOING TO DO IT FOR ME. IN REALITY, NO ONE ELSE CARED. I REALIZED AT THAT MOMENT THAT, FROM THAT DAY FORWARD I WAS COMPLETLY RESPONSIBLE FOR MY LIFE AND EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME. I WAS RESPONSIBLE. I COULD NO LONGER BLAME MY SITUATION ON MY DIFFICULT CHILDHOOD OR MISTAKES I HAD MADE IN THE PAST. I WAS IN CHARGE. I WAS IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT. THIS WAS MY LIFE, AND IF I DIDN'T DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE IT, IT WOULD GO ON LIKE THIS INDEFINITELY, BY THE SIMPLE FORCE OF INTERIA.

                     THIS REVELATION CHANGED MY LIFE. I WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN. FROM THAT MOMENT ON, I ACCEPTED MORE AND MORE RESPONSIBILITY FOR EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE. I ACCEPTED RESPONSIBILITY FOR DOING MY JOB BETTER THAN BEFORE RATHER THAN DOING ONLY THE MINIMUM THAT WAS NECESSARY TO AVOID GETTING FIRED. I ACCEPTED RESPONBILITY FOR MY FINANCES, MY HEALTH, AND, ESPECIALLY MY FUTURE.

                     THE VERY NEXT DAY, I WENT DOWN TO A LOCAL BOOKSTORE AT MY LUNCH BREAK AND BEGAN THE LIFELONG PRACTICE OF BUYING BOOKS WITH INFORMATION, IDEAS, AND LESSONS THAT COULD HELP ME. I DEDICATED MY LIFE TO SELF-IMPROVEMENT, TO CONTINUOUS LEARNING IN EVERY WAS POSSIBLE.

                 FOR THE REST OF MY BUSINESS LIFE, RIGHT UP TO THE PRESENT MOMENT, WHENEVER I'VE WANTED OR NEEDED TO LEARN SOMETHING TO HELP ME, I HAVE RETURNED TO LEARNING, TO READING, TO LISTENING TO AUDIO PROGRAMS AND ATTENDING COURSES AND SEMINARS. I FOUND THAT YOU COULD LEARN ANYTHING YOU NEED TO LEARN IN ORDER TO ACCOMPLISH ANY GOAL YOU SET FOR YOURSELF.

                   OVER TIME, I LEARNED THAT FULLY 80 PERCENT OF THE POPULATION NEVER ACCEPTS COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR LIVES. THEY CONTINUALLY COMPLAIN, CRITICIZE, MAKE EXCUSES, AND BLAME OTHER PEOPLE FOR THINGS IN THEIR LIVES ABOUT WHICH THEY ARE NOT HAPPY . THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS WAY OF THINKING, HOWEVER, CAN BE DISASTROUS. THEY CAN SABOTAGE ALL HOPES FOR SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS LATER IN LIFE.

                    1. MAKE A DECISION TODAY TO TAKE COMPLETE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCIAL LIFE, GET OUT OF DEBT, AND ACHIEVE FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE. 

                    2. DETERMINE YOUR NET WORTH TODAY. ADD UP ALL YOUR ASSETS, SUBTRACT ALL YOUR DEBTS AND LIABILITIES, AND CALCULATE THE EXACT NUMBER.

                    3. SET UP A SEPERATE BANK ACCOUNT AND BEGIN SAVING AT LEAST 1 PERCENT OF YOUR INCOME AS YOU RECEIVE IT EVERY MONTH OR PAYCHECK.

                   4. MAKE A LIST OF ALL YOUR DEBTS AND BEGIN PAYING THEM OFF, STARTING WITH THOSE CARRYING THE HIGHEST INTEREST RATES.

                   5. CALCULATE THE EXACT AMOUNT THAT YOU WILL NEED TO BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT AT THE END OF YOUR CAREER AND THEN SET THIS AS A GOAL.

                  6. SET SPECIFIC FINANCIAL ACCUMULATION GOALS FOR YOURSELF FOR EACH MONTH, QUARTER, AND YEAR FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

                  7. PRACTICE FRUGALITY IN SPENDING BY PUTTING OFF AND DELAYING EVERY EXPENDITURE YOU POSSIBLY CAN INTIL YOU ACHIEVE YOUR LONG-TERM GOALS.

HOW TO GET SUCCESS IN BUSINESS

 

                            TO BECOME SUCCESSFULL ONE

                     * MAKE A DECISION TODAY THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BECOME ONE OF THE TOP 20 PERCENT OF PEOPLE IN YOU COMPANY AND YOU INDUSTRY. WHAT SHOULD YOU OR COULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY?

                     * MAKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING YOU DO IN YOUR JOB AND THEN IDENTIFY THE THREE THAT CONTRIBUTES THE GREATEST VALUE OF YOUR WORK AND COMPANY.

                     * SET A NEW WORK SCHEDULE FOR YOURSELF AND BEGIN TO START EARLIER, WORK HARDER, AND STAY LATER UNTIL IT BECOMES A HABIT.

                     * IDENTIFY THE MOST IMPORTANT RESULTS YOU ARE EXPECTED TO ACHIEVE IN YOUR JOB, AND THEN WORK ON THOSE RESULTS ALL DAY LONG.

                     * DETERMINE THE PERSON WHO IS THE BEST DRESSED AND GROOMED IN YOUR COMPANY, AND THEN RESOLVE TO USE HIM/HER AS A ROLE MODEL FOR YOUR OWN APPEARANCE.

                     * DECIDE TODAY THAT, FROM NOW ON, YOU ARE GOING TO ACTUALLY WORK ALL THE TIME YOU ARE AT WORK AND THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DEVELOP THE REPUTATION FOR BEING THE HARDEST WORKING PERSON IN YOUR COMPANY.'

 

                     * DEVELOP A SENSE OF URGENCY. RESOLVE TO MOVE FAST WHEN YOU ARE GIVEN A JOB OF OPPORTUNITY. THIS CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

                                    RESOLVE IN ADVANCE

                     WHEN YOU RESOLVE IN ADVANCE THAT YOU ILL NEVER GIVE UP, YOUR SUCCESS IS VIRTUALLY GUARANTEED. IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, NOTHING CAN REALLY STOP YOU BUT YOURSELF.

                       IN LIFE, DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU GET KNOCKED DOWN. ALL THAT MATTERS IS HOW MANY TIMES YOU GET BACK UP. IF YOU CONTINUE TO GET BACK UP AND PRESS ONWARD, YOU MUST EVENTUALLY REACH YOUR GOAL.

                    EACH TIME YOU EXERT YOUR SELF-DISCIPLINE TO PERSIST IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY, YOU ALSO INCREASE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-CONFIDENCE. THEN, AS YOUR SELF-ESTEEM INCREASES, YOU FEEL STRONGER,  MORE POWERFUL, AND MORE UNSTOPPABLE. WHEN YOU FEEL BETTER AND STRONGER, YOU BECOME MORE CAPABLE OF PERSISTING THE NEXT TIME- AND THEN THE TIME AFTER THAT.

                  BY DISCIPLINING YOURSELF TO PERSIST IN THE FACE OF ALL ADVERSITY, YOU PUT YOUR LIFE ONTO AN UPWARD SPIRAL OF SELF-ESTEEM, SELF-DISCIPLINE, AND PERSISTENCE UNTIL YOU EVENTUALLY BECOME LIKE A FORCE OF NATURE.

                  PERSISTENCE IS SELF-DISCIPLINE 

                                          IN ACTION.

                   IN PART TWO, YOU WILL LEARN THE SPECIFIC THINGS YOU CAN DO TO APPLY THESE PRINCIPLES TO THE PRACTICAL AREAS OF LIFE, TO ACHIEVE GRETER SUCCESS IN YOUR WORK AND CAREER, AND TO FULLFILL YOUR POTENTIAL IN THE MONTHS AND YEARS AHEAD.

                     1. IDENTIFY ONE AREA IN YOUR LIFE IN WHICH YOU NEED TO PERSIST EVEN HARDER TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL, AND THEN TAKE ACTION IN THAT AREA.

                     2. IDENTIFY A GOAL IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU DID NOT ACCOMPLISH BECAUSE YOU FAILED TO PERSIST THROUGH TO COMPLETION. WHAT STEPS COULD YOU TAKE TODAY TO SUCCEED IN THAT AREA?

                     3. IDENTIFY ONE BIG GOAL THAT YOU ACHIEVED BECAUSE YOU PERISTED AND REFUSED TO GIVE UP, TO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT IT BECOME.

                     4. DECIDE ON YOUR MAJOR DEFINITE PURPOSE IN LIFE, THE ONE GOAL THAT, IF YOU ACHIEVED IT, WOULD HAVE THE GREATEST POSITIVE IMPACT ON YOUR LIFE.

                     5 WRITE DOWN YOUR GOAL CLEARLY, MAKE A DETAILED PLAN OF ACTION TO ACCOMPLISH IT, AND THEN TELL YOURSELF THAT, "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION".

                    6. MAKE A DECISION TODAY THAT YOU WILL PERSIST UNTIL YOU SUCCEED, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, BECAUSE "I AM UNSTOPPABLE".

                   7. RESOLVE TO SET AND ACHIEVE ONE IMPORTANT GOAL, OVERCOMING THE INEVITABLE DIFFICULTIES, PROBLEMS AND SETBACKS YOU WILL EXPERIENCE, AND TO WORK AT IT UNTIL YOU SUCCEED. REPEAT THIS PROCESS OVER AND OVER UNTIL PERSISTENCE BECOMES A HABIT.

                    CHALLENGE YOUR ASSUMPTIONS

                      MOST BUSINESS IDEAS DO NOT WORK, AT LEAST IN THEIR ORIGINAL FORM. AS PETER DRUCKER SAID, "ERRANT ASSUMPTIONS LIE AT THE ROOT OF EVERY FAILURE". A MAJOR REASON FOR BUSINESS FAILURE IS THAT BUSINESS OWNERS OR EXECUTIVES RELY OR ASSUMPTIONS THAT ARE NOT TESTED. THEY ASSUME THAT THE PRODUCT OR SERVICE IS EXCELLENT IN COMPARISON WITH OTHERS. THEY ASSUME THAT THEY CAN SELL A SUFFICIENT NUMBER OF THOSE PRODUCTS OR SERVICES - AND DO SO AT A PROFIT. THEY FURTHER ASSUME THAT THOSE PROFITS BE SUBSTANTIAL ENOUGH TO MAKE THIS INVESTMENT OF TIME AND MONEY MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN ANY OTHER USE OF THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME OR FUNDS. ALL OF THESE ASSUMPTIONS MUST BE TESTED CAREFULLY BEFORE ANY IRREVOCABLE COMMITMENT IS MADE.

                 ACCORDING TO THE KAUFMAN FOUNDATION ON ENTREPRENEURSHIP, 95 PERCENT OF ENTREPRENEURS AND SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS IN AMERICA EARN LESS THAN $50000 PER YEAR. WHY IS THIS? IT IS NOT BECAUSE THEY LACK THE ENERGY, INTELLIGENCE, OR ABILITY TO EARN MORE. THE VERY FACT THAT A PERSON HAS THE COURAGE AND RESOUCEFULNESS TO START A NEW BUSINESS MEANS THAT HE OR SHE HAS ABOVE-AVERAGE LEVELS OF NATURAL TALENT.

                   THE REASON WHY SO MANY ENTREPRENEURS UNDERACHIEVE AND FAIL IS THAT THEY LACK DISCIPLINE. THEY LACK THE DISCIPLINE TO CAREFULLY STUDY EVEYR ASPECT OF THE BUSINESS BEFORE COMMITTING TO IT. THEY LACK THE DISCIPLINE TO TEST THEIR ASSUMPTION RATHER THAN JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS AND HOPING FOR THE BEST. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU.

HOW TO CHANGE THE NEGATIVE INTO POSITVE

 

                                   HOW TO CHANGE

                            SOMETHING NEGATIVE

                    IF THERE IS SOMETHING NEGATIVE IN YOUR LIFE AND YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT, THE PROCESS IS THE SAME. GIVE LOVE BY IMAGINING AND FEELING THAT YOU HAVE WHAT YOU WANT. REMEMBER THAT ANYTHING NEGATIVE IS A LACK OF LOVE, AND SO YOU HAVE TO IMAGINE THE OPPOSITE OF THE NEGATIVE SITUATION, BECAUSE ITS OPPOSITE IS LOVE! FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU HAVE AN ILLNESS THAT YOU WANT TO BE GONE, GIVE LOVE FOR YOUR BODY BEING HEALTHY.

                 IF YOU ARE USING THE CREATION PROCESS TO CHANGE SOMETHING NEGATIVE, KNOW WHAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TURN THE NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE. THAT FEELS REALLY HARD TO DO AND IT IS NOT HOW CREATION WORKS. CREATION MEANS SOMETHING NEW IS CREATED WHICH AUTOMATICALLY REPLACES THE OLD. YOU DON'T NEED TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO CHANGE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GIVE LOVE FOR WHAT YOU WANT, AND THE FORCE OF LOVE WILL REPLACE THE NEGATIVITY FOR YOU.

                 IF A PERSON IS INJURED AND RECEIVING MEDICAL HELP, BUT THINGS ARE NOT IMPROVING, IT MEANS THEY'RE IMAGINING AND FEELING THE INJURY MORE THAN THEY'RE IMAGINING AND FEELING A FULL RECOVERY. THE WAY TO TIP THE BALANCE TO RECOVERY IS TO IMAGINE AND FEEL HAVING A FULL RECOVERY, MORE THAN NOT HAVING IT. THE FACT YOU CAN IMAGINE A FULL RECOVERY MEANS THAT IT ALREADY EXISTS! IMPREGNANT YOUR MAGNETIC FIELD WITH GOOD FEELINGS ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD. RAMP UP YOUR LOVE IN EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE. FEEL GOOD AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, BECAUSE EVERY MOMENT OF GIVING LOVE BRINGS A FULL RECOVERY.

                                                   YOUR FEELINGS ARE YOUR GOD.

                                                                                                   ---- CHANAKYA

                 WHETHER YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR HEALTH, MONEY, RELATIONSHIPS, OR ANYTHING ELSE, THE PROCESS IS THE SAME! IMAGINE WHAT YOU WANT. IMAGINE AND FEEL THE LOVE OF HAVING IT. IMAGINE EVERY SCENE AND SITUATION YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU WANT, AND FEEL THAT YOU HAVE IT NOW. TRY SPENDING SEVEN MINUTES EACH DAY IMAGINING AND FEELING HAVING WHAT YOU WANT. DO IT EACH DAY UNTIL YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR DESIRE. DO IT UNTIL YOU KNOW YOUR DESIRE BELONGS TO YOU, AS YOU KNOW YOUR NAME BELONGS TO YOU. WITH SOME THINGS MAY TAKE YOU LONGER. THEN SIMPLY GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE, GIVING AS MUCH LOVE AND AS MANY GOOD FEELINGS AS YOU CAN BECAUSE THE MORE LOVE YOU GIVE, THE FASTER YOU WILL RECEIVE WHAT YOU DESIRE.

                AFTER YOU'VE IMAGINED AND FELT HAVING WHAT YOU WANT, YOU'RE LITERALLY IN A NEW WORLD WITH WHAT YOU'VE IMAGINED, SO DON'T CONTRADICT THE NEW WORLD BY TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT AN INJURY THAT'S NOT IMPROVING, BECAUSE THEN YOU ARE IMAGINING THE WORST AGAIN, AND YOU'RE BACK IN THE OLD WORLD. AS YOU IMAGINE THE WORST, THAT'S WHAT YOU WILL RECEIVE BACK. AS YOU IMAGINE THE BEST, THAT'S WHAT'S YOU'LL RECEIVE BACK. IT SOMEBODY ASKS HOW YOUR INJURY IS DOING, YOU CAN SAY, "I AM FEELING ONE HUNDRED PERCENT AGAIN AND MY BODY IS FOLLOWING, "YOU CAN SAY, THIS HAS BEEN A BLESSING BECAUSE IT HAS MADE ME APPRECIATE MY BODY AND HEALTH MORE THAN I EVER HAVE IN MY LIFE". OR IF YOU ARE BOLD ENOUGH CAN SAY, I HAVE A FULL RECOVERY BY THE HORNS.

               YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT WITHOUT FEELING BAD. IT'S SIMPLE, BUT PEOPLE ARE SO USED TO NOT FEELING GOOD A LOT OF TIME, THEY DON'T EVEN NOTICE HOW BAD THEY FEEL WHEN THEY'RE IMAGINING AND TALKING ABOUT WHAT THEY DON'T WANT. WHEN YOU BECOME MORE AWARE OF HOW YOU'RE FEELING, AND YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, YOU WILL GET TO THE POINT WHERE THE SLIGHTEST DIP IN YOUR GOOD FEELINGS WILL BE UNBEARABLE FOR YOU.  YOU WILL BECOME SO USED TO FEELING GOOD, YOU'LL BE SO AWARE OF YOUR FEELINGS, THAT IF THEY DIP YOU WILL FEEL IT AND YOU'LL GET YOURSELF BACK TO FEELING GOOD RIGHT AWAY, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FEEL GOOD AND BE HAPPY MOST OF THE TIME, BECAUSE YOU ARE MEANT TO HAVE AN AMAZING LIFE, AND THERE IS NO OTHER WAY YOU CAN RECEIVE IT!

                I AM STILL DETERMINED TO BE CHEERFUL AND HAPPY.

                IN WHATEVER SITUATION I MAY BE, FOR I HAVE ALSO

                LEARNED FROM EXPERIENCED THAT THE GREATER PART

                OF OUR HAPPINESS OR MISERY DEPENDS UPON OUR

                 DISPOSITIONS, AND NOT UPON OUR CIRCUMSTANCES.

                                                               ---- MARTHA WASHINGTON

THE POWER OF LOVE

 

          

                                       KEYS TO POWER

                 YOUR MOST PRECIOUS, VALUED POSSESSIONS AND YOUR

                 GREATEST POWERS ARE INVISIBLE AND INTANGIBLE.

                 NO ONE CAN TAKE THEM. YOU, AND YOU ALONE, CAN GIVE

                 THEM. YOU WILL RECEIVE ABUNDANCE FOR YOUR GIVING.

                                                                                                    ------- CLEMENT STONE

                 THE KEYS TO POWER ARE THE MOST POWERFUL WAYS TO HARNESS THE FORCE OF LOVE AND RECEIVE THE LIFE YOU ARE MEANT TO LIVE. THEY ARE SO SIMPLE AND EASY ANY CHILD CAN FOLLOW THEM. EACH KEY WILL UNLOCK THE IMMENSE POWER WITHIN YOU.

                                       THE KEY OF LOVE

                            TO USE LOVE AS THE ULTIMATE POWER IN LIFE, YOU MUST LOVE LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER LOVED BEFORE. FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE! HOWEVER MUCH YOU HAVE LOVED IN YOUR LIFE, DOUBLE THAT FEELING, MULTIPLY THAT FEELING TEN TIMES, MULTIPLY IT BY A HUNDRED TIMES, A THOUSAND TIMES, AND A MILLION TIMES, BECAUSE THAT IS THE LEVEL OF LOVE YOU ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING! THERE IS NO CEILING, TO THE AMOUNT OF LOVE YOU CAN FEEL AND IT IS ALL INSIDE YOU! YOU ARE MADE OF LOVE. IT IS THE VERY SUBSTANCE AND NATURE OF YOU, LIFE AND THE UNIVERSE AND YOU CAN LOVE FAR MORE THAN YOU'VE EVER LOVED BEFORE, AND FAR MORE THAN YOU HAVE IMAGINED.

                WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE, EVER LIMITATION DISAPPEAR. YOU BREAK THE LIMITATIONS ON MONEY, HEALTH, HAPPINESS, AND THE LIMITS OF JOY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE, YOU HAVE NO RESISTENCE, AND WHATEVER YOU LOVE APPEARS IN YOUR LIFE ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY. YOUR PRESENCE WILL BE FELT WHEN YOU WALK INTO A ROOM.

                   OPPORTUNITIES WILL POUR INTO YOUR LIFE, AND YOUR SLIGHTEST TOUCH WILL DISSOLVE NEGATIVITY. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER THAN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS POSSIBLE TO FEEL. YOU WILL BE FILLED WITH UNLIMITED ENERGY, EXCITEMENT, AND AN UNQUENCHABLE ZEST FOR LIFE. YOU WILL FEEL AS LIGHT AS A FEATHER, LIKE YOU'RE FLOATING ON AIR, FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE, UNLEASH AND POWER WITHIN YOU, AND YOU WILL BECOME UNLIMITED AND INVINCIBLE.!

                         EVEN AFTER ALL THIS TIME, THE SUN NEVER SAYS TO 

                         THE EARTH,YOU OWN ME, LOOK WHAT HAPPENS WITH

                          A LOVE LIKE THAT! IT LIGHTS THE WHOLE SKY.

                      SO HOW DO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE? THE SAME WITH YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER PERSON - YOU ADORE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM! YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER PERSON BY SEEING ONLY LOVE, HEARING ONLY LOVE, SPEAKING ONLY LOVE, AND BY FEELING LOVE WITH ALL YOUR HEART! AND THAT IS EXACTLY HOW YOU USE THE ULTIMATE POWER OF LOVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE.

                  WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING WHEREVER YOU ARE IN YOUR DAYS. LOOK FOR THE THINGS YOU LOVE. YOU CAN LOOK FOR TECHNOLOGY AND INVENTIONS YOU LOVE. LOOK FOR BUILDINGS YOU LOVE, AND CARS AND ROADS YOU LOVE, CAFES AND RESTAURANTS YOU LOVE, STORES YOU LOVE. WALK DOWN A STREET OR THROUGH AS YOU CAN THAT YOU LOVE. LOOK FOR THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. LOOK FOR EVERYTHING YOU LOVE IN NATURE - BIRDS, TREES, FLOWERS, PERFUMES, AND THE COLORS OF NATURE. SEE WHAT YOU LOVE. HEAR WHAT YOU LOVE. HEAR WHAT YOU LOVE. SPEAK ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE.

                             KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE WORKING WITH YOU A

                            FORCE, WHICH NEVER YET HAS FAILED IN ANYTHING IT

                          HAS UNDERTAKEN, YOU CAN GO AHEAD IN THE CONFIDENT

                         KNOWLEDGE THAT IT WILL NOT FAIL IN YOUR CASE, EITHER

                     THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE. TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE. DO WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO. BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE DOING ALL OF THESE THINGS, YOU ARE FEELING LOVE.

                  TALK ABOUT THE THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUTG YOUR HOME, YOUR FAMILY, YOUR SPOUSE, AND CHILDREN. TALK ABOUT THE THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS. TELL THEM WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT THEM. TALK ABOUT THE THINGS YOU TOUCH, SMELL, AND TASTE THAT YOU LOVE.

                    TELL THE LAW OF ATTRACTION WHAT YOU LOVE EVERY DAY BY SINGLING OUT THE THINGS YOU LOVE AND FEELING THEM. JUST THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH LOVE YOU CAN GIVE IN ONE DAY BY FEELING THE THINGS YOU LOVE. WHEN YOU WALK DOWN THE STREET, LOOK FOR THE THINGS YOU LOVE IN OTHER PEOPLE. WHEN YOU LOOK IN STORES, LOOK FOR THE THINGS YOU LOVE. SAY, "I LOVE THAT OUTFIT". I LOVE THOSE SHOES, I LOVE THAT PERSON'S SMILE, I LOVE THE COLOR OF THAT PERSONS EYES, I LOVE THOSE COSMETICS, I LOVE THAT SMELL, I LOVE THIS STORE , I LOVE THAT TABLE, LAMP,  RUG, SOUND EQUIPMENT, COAT, GLOVES, TIE, HAT, , I LOVE THE SMELL OF SUMMER, I LOVE THE TREES IN FALL, I LOVE THE FLOWERS IN SPRING. I LOVE THAT COLOR, I LOVE THIS STREET , I LOVE THIS CITY.

               LOOK FOR THIS  THINGS YOU LOVE IN SITUATIONS, EVENTS, AND CIRCUMSTANCES AND FEEL THOSE THINGS. I LOVE GETTING PHONE CALLS LIKE THAT. I LOVE GETTING EMAILS LIKE THAT, I LOVE HEARING GOODS NEWS LIKE THAT, I LOVE THIS SONG, I LOVE SEEING PEOPLE HAPPY, I LOVE LAUGHING WITH OTHER PEOPLE. I LOVE LIFE. LOOK FOR THE THINGS YOU LOVE ON EVERY SUBJECT THAT LIGHTS UP YOUR HEART, AND FEEL THE DEEPEST LOVE YOU CAN.

 

LAW OF ATTRACTION

                                  

                                    THE UNIVERSAL LAW

                                      THE KEY OF PLAY

                            THERE IS ONE CERTAIN WAY YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER ABOUT ANY SUBJECT IN YOUR LIFE, AND THAT IS TO CREATE GAMES WITH YOUR IMAGINATION, AND PLAY. PLAY IS FUN, AND SO WHEN YOU PLAY, YOU FEEL REALLY GOOD.

                      AT SOME POINT, WE STOPPED PLAYING AND HAVING FUN LIKE WE DID AS CHILDREN, WITH THE RESULT THAT WE BECAME ADULTS, WE BECAME MORE SERIOUS ABOUT LIFE. WHEN YOU PLAY AND HAVE FUN, YOU FEEL REALLY GOOD, AND - VOILA - REALLY GOOD CIRCUMSTANCES COME INTO YOUR LIFE.

                      LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. PLAY WITH THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, INVENT GAMES WITH YOUR IMAGINATION. BECAUSE THE LAW OF ATTRACTION DOESN'T KNOW OR CARE IF YOU'RE IMAGINING AND PLAYING, OR IF IT IS REAL. WHATEVER YOU GIVE IN IMAGINATION AND FEELING, WILL BECOME REAL!

                                      HOW TO YOU PLAY

                     HOW DO YOU PLAY? YOU DO THE SAME THING AS YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD, AND YOU USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO CREATE MAKE-BELIEVE GAMES.

                         LET'S IMAGINE YOU'RE CYCLIST AND YOU WANT TO BECOME THE BEST CYCLIST IN THE WORLD AND WIN THE TOUR DE FRANCE. YOUR TRAINING IS GOING WELL AND YOU HAVE YOUR DREAM IN YOUR SIGHTS, BUT YOU ARE DIAGNOSED WITH A DISEASE AND GIVEN A 40 PERCENT CHANCE TO SURVIVE. WHILE HAVING TREATMENT, YOU IMAGINE YOU ARE RIDING IN THE TOUR DE FRANCE AND IT IS THE RACE OF YOUR LIFE. YOU IMAGINE THE MEDICAL STAFF IS YOUR TRAINING TEAM GIVING YOU FEEDBACK AT EVERY CHECKPOINT. EACH DAY YOU IMAGINE YOU'RE RACING IN A TIME TRIAL, AND YOUR TIME IS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER! YOU WIN THE RACE WITH YOUR MEDICAL TEAM AND YOU OVERCOME THE DISEASE.

                       ONE YEAR AFTER YOU WIN BACK YOUR HEALTH, YOU WIN THE TOUR DE FRANCE, AND YOU CONTINUE TO WIN IT SEVEN YEARS IN A ROW, BECOMING THE ONLY CYCLIST IN HISTORY TO ACHIEVE THAT! THIS IS WHAT LANCE ARMSTRONG DID. HE USED THE MOST DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES AS PROPS TO CREATE AN IMAGINARY GAME AND REALIZE HIS DREAM.

                       LET'S SAY YOU WANT TO HAVE THE BEST-BUILT BODY IN THE WORLD, AND YOU ALSO WANT TO BECOME A FAMOUS ACTOR IN AMERICA. YOU LIVE IN A TINY VILLAGE IN EUROPE AND COME  FROM A FAMILY THAT HAS STRUGGLED FINANCIALLY, BUT STILL YOU IMAGINE YOUR DREAMS. YOU USE A PICTURE OF A HERO TO SCULPT YOUR BODY, AND YOU IMAGINE WINNING THE EUROPEAN TITLE FOR THE BEST-BUILT BODY. YOU WIN THE TITLE SEVEN TIMES, AND THEN IT IS TIME TO BECOME A FAMOUS ACTOR. YOU TRAVEL TO AMERICA, BUT NO ONE BELIEVES YOU ARE ACTOR MATERIAL, AND THEY GIVE YOU ALL THE REASONS WHY YOU WILL NEVER ACHIEVE YOUR DREAM. BUT YOU HAVE IMAGINED BEING A FAMOUS ACTOR, AND YOU CAN FEEL THE SUCCESS, YOU CAN TASTE IT, AND YOU KNOW IT WILL HAPPEN. THIS IS WHAT ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER DID WHEN HE WON MR.OLYPIA SEVEN TIMES AND THEN BECAME ONE OF THE BIGGEST NAMES IN HOLLYWOOD.

                     IMAGINE YOU WANT TO A GREAT INVENTOR. IN YOUR CHILDHOOD YOUR MIND IS CHALLENGED TO THE EXTREME, YOU ARE OVERWHELMED WITH HALLUCINATIONS AND BLINDING FLASHES OF LIGHT. YOU FAIL TO FINISH UNIVERSITY AND LEAVE JOB DUE T A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. TO GAIN RELIEF FROM THE CRIPPLING HALLUCINATIONS, BREAKDOWN. TO GAIN RELIEF FROM THE CRIPPLING HALLUCINATIONS, YOU TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND BY CREATING YOUR OWN IMAGINARY WORLD. INSPIRED BY THE IDEA OF A BRIGHTER FUTURE, YOU DIRECT YOUR IMAGINATION TO NEW INVENTIONS. YOU BUILD AN INVENTION COMPLETELY IN YOUR IMAGINATION, YOU CHANGE THE CONSTRUCTION, MAKE IMPROVEMENT, AND EVEN OPERATE THE DEVICE, WITHOUT EVER DRAWING A SKETCH. YOU CREATE A LABORATORY IN YOUR MIND AND YOU USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO CHECK NEW INVENTION FOR WEAR AND TEAR, BEFORE TURNING YOUR IDEA INTO A PHYSICAL DEVICE.

                   THIS IS WHAT NIKOLA TESLA DID TO BECOME ONE OF GREATEST INVENTORS. WHETHER IT WAS THE ALTERNATING CURRENT MOTOR, RADIO, AMPLIFIER, WIRELESS COMMUNICATION, FLUORESCENT LIGHT, LASER BEAM, REMOTE CONTROL, OR ANY OF HIS OTHER THREE HUNDRED PLUS PATENTED INVENTIONS, ALL OF THEM HAD BEEN DEVELOPED IN EXATLY THIS WAY- THROUGH THE POWER OF HIS IMAGINATION.

               " LOGIC WILL GET YOU FROM A TO B. IMAGINATION

                  WILL TAKE YOU EVERYWHERE".

                                                                      --- ALBERT EINSTEIN

                 WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT, USE YOUR IMAGINATION, CREATED GAMES, AND PLAY. USE EVERY PROP YOU CAN FIND TO HELP YOU. IF YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT OR HAVE A BETTER BODY, THEN CREATE GAMES SO YOU FEEL AS THOUGH YOU HAVE TH BODY NOW. YOU CAN SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PICTURES OF GREAT BODIES, BUT THE TRICK IS THIS. YOU MUST IMAGINE THOSE BODIES ARE YOURS! YOU MUST IMAGINE AND FEEL THAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT YOUR BODY, NOT SOMEBODY ELSE'S BODY.

               IF YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT OR UNDERWEIGHT, AND YOU HAD THE PERFECT WEIGHT RIGHT NOW, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? YOU WOULD FEEL DIFFERENT FROM HOW YOU FEEL NOW. EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU WOULD CHANGE. YOU WOULD WALK DIFFERENTLY, TALK DIFFERENTLY, AND YOU WOULD DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY. WALK LIKE THAT NOW! TALK LIKE THAT NOW! ACT AS IF YOU HAVE IT NOW! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS THAT YOU WANT, IMAGINE HOW YOU WOULD FEEL WITH IT, AND ACT LIKE THAT NOW IN YOUR IMAGINATION, WHATEVER YOU IMAGINE WITH FEELING, YOU ARE GIVING TO THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, AND YOU MUST RECEIVE IT.

                   POINTS TO UNDERSTAND

                 1. WHEN YOU PLAY YOU FEEL REALLY GOOD - AND REALLY GOOD CIRCUMSTANCES COME INTO YOUR LIFE. SERIOUSNESS BRINGS SERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES.

                 2. LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!

                 3. THE LAW OF ATTRACTION DOESN'T KNOW IF YOU'RE IMAGINATION AND PLAYING, SO WHATEVER YOU GIVE IN IMAGINATION AND PLAY WILL BECOME REAL!

                4. WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT, USE YOUR IMAGINATION, USE EVERY PROP YOU CAN FIND, CREATE GAMES, AND PLAY.

                5. ACT AS IF YOU HAVE IT NOW! WHATEVER YOU IMAGINE WITH FEELING. YOU ARE GIVING TO THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, AND YOU MUST RECEIVE IT.

                6. IF YOU EXPERIENCE IN DELAY IN RECEIVING WHAT YOU WANT, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE OF THE TIME IT TAKES YOU TO GET ONTO THE SAME FEELING FREQUENCY AS YOUR DESIRE.

                 7. WHEN YOU ARE EXCITED ABOUT ANYTHING AND YOU FEEL AMAZING CAPTURE THAT ENERGY AND IMAGINE YOUR DREAM.                

AWAY FROM FEARS

 

               

                       ELIMINATE TWO FERS AT ONCE

                      PSYCHOLOGISTS HAVE FOUND THAT CERTAIN FEARS ARE BUNDLED TOGETHER IN THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, LIKE WIRES ON THE SAME CIRCUIT. IF YOU CAN OVERCOME YEAR FEARS IN ONE OF THESE AREAS, YOU WILL ALSO ELIMINATE OTHER FEARS ON THE SAME CIRCUIT.

                     THE FEAR OF REJECTION, OR CALL RELUCTANCE, SEEMS TO BE BUNDLED TOGETHER WITH THE FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING. WHEN YOU DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO JOIN TOATMASTERS OR TAKE A DALE CARNEGIE COURSE TO LEARN TO SPEAK CONFIDENTLY ON YOUR FEET, YOUR FEARS OF REJECTION DISAPPEAR AS WELL. YOUR LEVEL OF SELF-CONFIDENCE IN ALL YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH OTHERS INCREASES DRAMATICALLY. YOUR WHOLE LIFE CHANGES IN A POSITIVE WAY.

                                CONFRONT YOUR FEARS

               YOUR ABILITY TO CONFRONT, DEAL WITH, AND ACT IN SPITE OF YOUR FEARS IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS. ONE OF THE BEST EXERCISE YOU CAN PRACTICE IS TO IDENTIFY A PERSON OR SITUATION IN YOUR LIFE OF WHICH YOU ARE AFRAID AND RESOLVE TO DEAL WITH THAT FEAR SITUATION IMMEDIATELY. DO NOT ALLOW IT TO MAKE YOU UNHAPPY FOR ANOTHER MINUTE. RESOLVE TO CONFRONT THE SITUATION OR PERSON AND PUT THE FEAR BEHIND YOU.

              A WOMAN IN ONE OF MY SEMINARS TOLD ME THAT HER BOSS WAS A VERY NEGATIVE PERSON. HE WAS CONSTANTLY CRITICIZING AND BERATING HER ABOUT HER WORK, EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ONE OF THE HIGHEST-RATED EMPLOYEES IN THE ORGANIZATION. HE WAS MAKING HER LIFE MISERABLE. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE UP HER JOB, BUT SHE WAS AFRAID OF CONFRONTING HIM. SHE ASKED ME WHAT SHE SHOULD DO.

 

                  I GAVE HER THIS ADVICE, WHICH I HAVE SUBSEQUENTLY GIVEN TO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. THE ONLY REASON THAT ONE PERSON BULLIES ANOTHER IS HE FEELS HE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL WITH A BULLY IS TO CONFRONT HIM. BULLIES ARE ACTUALLY COWARDS AT HEART, AND THEY WILL FLEE FROM A CONFRONTATION.

                   I TOLD HER TO DO THIS, THE NEXT TIME YOUR BOSS CRITICIZES YOU FOR ANY REASON, TURN TO HIM AND SAY, QUITE FIRMLY, "I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS AND STOPS ME FROM DOING MY JOB THE WAY YOU WANT".

                I TOLD HER TO LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AFTER SHE HAD FINISHED MAKING THIS STATEMENT. SHE HAD TREMENDOUS COURAGE. RATHER THAN PUTTING UP WITH THIS SITUATION ANY LONGER, THE NEXT TIME HER BOSS BEGAN TO BERATE HER, SHE SQUARD OFF WITH HIM AND SAID THOSE WORDS.

                 SHE WROTE TO ME AND TOLD ME WHAT HAD HAPPENED. JUST AS I HAD PREDICTED, HE STOPPED DEAD IN HIS TRACKS. HE IMMEDIATELY APOLOGIZED AND MUMBLED AND THEN QUICKLY WENT BACK TO HIS OFFICE. HE NEVER CRITICIZED HER AGAIN. SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE COULD HAVE ENDED HIS BAD TREATMENT OF HER MANY MONTHS BEFORE IF SHE HAD ONLY HAD THE COURAGE TO CONFRONT HIM DIRECTLY THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENED.

                              MOVE TOWARD THE FEAR

                     WHEN YOU IDENTIFY A FEA AND DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO MOVE TOWARD IT, IT GROWS SMALLER AND MORE MANAGEABLE. WHAT'S MORE, AS YOUR FEARS GROW SMALLER, YOUR CONFIDENCE GROWS. SOON, YOUR FEARS LOSE THEIR CONTROL OVER YOU.

               IN CONTRAST, WHEN YOU BACK AWAY FROM A FEAR-INDUCING SITUATION OR PERSON, YOUR FEAR GROWS LARGER AND LARGER. SOON IT DOMINATES YOUR THINKING AND FEELING, PREOCCUPIES YOU DURING THE DAY, AND OFTEN KEEPS YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT.

                               POINTS TO UNDERSTAND 

              1. IDENTIFY YOUR THREE BIGGEST FEARS IN LIFE, RIGHT NOW. WHAT ARE THEY?

             2. DETERMINE WHAT YOU WOULD DO IN EACH OF THESE SITUATION IF YOU WERE GUARANTEED OF COMPLETE SUCCESS. WHAT ACTIONS WOULD YOU TAKE?

              3. WHAT HAVE YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO DO BUT BEEN AFRAID TO ATTEMPT? WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY IF YOU WERE GUARANTEED SUCCESS?

             4. IN WHAT THREE AREAS OF LIFE AND WORK DO YOU MOST EXPERIENCE THE FEARS OF FAILURE AND LOSS? WHAT STEPS COULD YOU GUARANTEED SUCCESS?

             5. IN WHAT THREE AREAS OF LIFE DO YOU MOST EXPERIENCE THE FEARS OF CRITICISM, REJECTION, OR EMBARRASSMENT? HOW COULD YOU CONFRONT THESE FEARS AND OVERCOME THEM?

              6. WHAT ONE GREAT GOAL WOULD YOU SET FOR YOURSELF IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL?

                7. WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY IN LIFE IF YOU HAD $20 MILLION IN THE BANK, BUT ONLY TEN YEARS LEFT TO LIVE?

COMMUNICATION SKILLS

  

                                       MALE-FEMALE 

                          COMMUNICATION SKILLS

                  MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT IN MANY WAYS. ACCORDING TO MRI SCANS, WHEN MEN COMMUNICATE, THEY USE ONLY TWO CENTERS OF THEIR BRAINS. WHEN WOMEN COMMUNICATE, THEY USE SEVEN CENTERS OF THEIR BRAINS. IT IS AS THOUGH MEN HAVE TWO HEADLIGHTS WITH WHICH TO COMMUNICATE, WHEREAS A WOMAN'S BRAIN IS LIKE A FULLY LIT CHRISTMAS TREE.

                  MEN CAN PROCESS ONLY ONE SENSORY INPUT AT A TIME, WHEREAS WOMEN CAN PROCESS ONLY ONE SENSORY INPUTS. WHEN A MAN IS WATCHING TELEVISION, HE DOES NOT SEE OR HEAR ANYTHING ELSE, INCLUDING WORDS SPOKEN TO HIM FROM THE SIDE OR BEHIND. HE BECOMES TOTALLY FIXATED ON THE VISUAL IMAGES AND WORDS ON THE SCREEN.

                  WHEN A MAN IS DRIVING A CAR, HE HAS TO TURN DOWN THE RADIO TO READ THE MAP. HE HAS TO TURN DOWN THE TELEVISION OR RADIO TO ANSWER THE TELEPHONE. HE CANNOT READ AND LISTEN OR WATCH AT THE SAME TIME. MEN CAN DO MANY THINGS EXTREMELY WELL, BUT THEY CAN DO ONLY ONE THING AT A TIME MEN TEND TO BE VERY FOCUSED.

                  WOMEN, ON THE OTHER HAND, CAN TALK, MAKE DINNER, WATCH TELEVISION, READ THE DAY'S MAIL, AND TALK TO HER CHILDREN OR HUSBAND ALL AT ONCE. THEY ARE MULTIMENSIONAL AND CAN PROCESS SEVERAL INPUTS  STIMULTANEOUSLY. THEY CAN TALK AND LISTEN AT THE SAME TIME AND BE AWARE OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE AROUND THEM ARE DOING AND SAYING.

                   WOMEN ARE RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS. THEY ARE VERY SENSITIVE TO OTHER PEOPLE. WHEN A MAN AND WOMAN ATTEND A SOCIAL GATHERING, WITHIN TEN MINUTES, THE WOMAN WILL HAVE DONE AN ANALYSIS AND ASSESSMENT OF THE SITUATION OF EACH OF THER OTHER PEOPLE IN THE ROOM. IN CONTRAST, THE MAN ACCOMPANYING THE WOMAN WILL HAVE NOTICED LITTLE OR NOTHING. THIS IS BECAUSE MEN ARE SIMPLE AND STRAIGHTFORWARD IN THEIR THINKING, WHEREAS WOMAN ARE COMPLEX, AWARE OF SMALL DETAILS, AND EXTEMELY SENSITIVE TO THE DYNAMICS AND NUANCES OF THE RELATIONSHIPS OF THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM.

                   A MAN CAN CALL HIS WIFE ON THE PHONE AND SAY, "HELLO" ALTHOUGH SHE HAS ONLY HEARD ONE WORD, SHE WILL IMMEDIATELY ASK, "WHAT'S WRONG? SHE CAN PICK UP A WEALTH OF MEANING AND EMOTION FROM A SINGLE WORD ON THE PHONE OR A SINGLE GLANCE OR LOOK WHEN HE WALKS IN THE DOOR.

                            RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING

                                     TAKES EFFORT

                  BECAUSE OF THE MANY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN, IT TAKES TREMENDOUNS DISCIPLINE TO BUILD AND MAINTAIN A LONG-TERM, LOVING, AND HAPPY RELATIONSHIP.

               PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT AREA OF MUTUAL COMPATIBILITY HAS TO DO WITH THE DISCIPLINE OF LISTENING. IT IS ONLY WHEN TWO PEOPLE TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN CLOSELY AND CAREFULLY TO EACH OTHER WHEN THEY SPEAK THAT THE LINES OF COMMUNICATIONS STAY OPEN, AND THIS IS WHEN LOVE AND HARMONY CONTINUE IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

                      THERE ARE FOUR SIMPLE DISCIPLINE OF EFFECTIVE LISTENING. THERE ARE MOSTLY OF IMPORATANCE TO MEN, WHO ARE NOTORIOUSLY POOR LISTENERS, ESPECIALLY WITH THE WOMEN IN THEIR LIVES. THIS IS NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED. IT IS SIMPLY BECAUSE THEIR MINDS ARE FOCUSED ON SOMETHING ELSE AND THEY ARE EASILY DISTRACTED.

                       THE DISCIPLINES OF LISTENING

                        LISTEN ATTENTIVELY. THE FIRST DISCIPLINE IS TO LISTEN ATTENTIVELY, WITHOUT INTERRUPTING. LISTEN AS THOUGH THE OTHER PERSON IS ABOUT TO REVEAL GREAT SECRET OR THE WINNING LOTERY NUMBER AND YOU WILL HEAR IT ONLY ONCE.

                        WHEN SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU, IF YOU ARE A MAN, PUT ASIDE ALL POSSIBLE DISTRACTIONS. TURN OFF THE TELEVISION OR RADIO. PUT DOWN THE NEWSPAPER OR MAIL. FACE HER DIRECTLY, LEAN SLIGHTLY FORWARD, AND CONCENTRATE SINGLE-MINDEDLY ON WHAT SHE IS SAYING.

                    AFFECTION IS EXPRESSED BY PAYING TOTAL ATTENTION TO HER WHEN SHE SPEAKS. SINCE YOU ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU MOST VALUE, WHEN YOU PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO ANOTHER PERSON WHILE SPEAKS, YOU TELL THAT PERSON THAT SHE IS OF GREAT VALUE TO YOU. THIS SATISFIES THE DEEPEST SUBCONSCIOUS NEEDS OF A WOMAN - TO FEEL VALUABLE, IMPORTANT, AND RESPECTED.

                  PAUSE BEFORE REPLYING . THE SECOND DISCIPLINE OF LISTENING IS TO PAUSE BEFORE REPLYING. TAKE A FEW SECONDS TO CAREFULLY CONSIDER WHAT HED OR SHE HAS SAID. WHEN YOU PAUSE, YOU AVOID THE RISK OF INTERRUPTING THE OTHER PERSON IF SHE IS JUST REFORMULATING HER THOUGHTS . YOU TELL HER THAT YOU VALUE WHAT SHE SAID AND THAT YOU ARE GIVING HER WORDS CAREFUL CONSIDERATION.

                ANOTHER ADVANTAGE OF PAUSING, OF ALLOWING A SILENCE IN THE CONVERSATION. IS THAT IT ENABLES YOU TO HEAR NOT ONLY WHAT WAS SAID, BUT ALSO WHAT WAS NOT SAID OR WHAT WAS SAID BETWEEN THE LINES. THE ACTUAL MESSAGE SOAKS INTO A DEEPER LEVEL OF YOUR MIND, ENABLING YOU TO UNDERSTAND BETTER AND TO THEREFORE RESPOND WITH GREATER AWARENESS AND SENSITIVITY.

                ASK CLARIFICATION. THE THIRD DISCIPLINE OF EFFECTIVE LISTENING IS TO QUESTION FOR CLARIFICATION. NEVER ASSUME THAT YOU AUTOMATICALLY KNOW WHAT THE OTHER PERSON IS THINKING OR FEELING, INSTEAD, IF YOU ARE AT ALL UNCLEAR SIMPLY ASK, 

                       HOW DO YOU MEAN? OR HOW DO YOU MEAN, EXACTLY? 

                        IT IS WHEN YOU ASK QUESTIONS AND SEEK CLARITY AND MEANING THAT YOU DEMONSTRATE TO THE OTHER PERSON THAT YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT HE OR SHE IS SAYING, AND THAT YOU ARE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN UNDERSTANDING HOW HE OR SHE THINKS AND FEELS.