HOW TO AVOID INTERNAL SINUS PROBLEM

                           NASAL WASH INSTRUCTIONS

                        REGULAR USE OF A NETI POT CLEANSES RESTORES HEALTH TO THE INTERNAL SINUS PASSAGES. IN YOGA, BREATHING FREELY THOUGH BOTH NOSTRILS IS ALSO SAID TO AID IN HARMONIZING THE ACTIVE AND PASSIVE SYSTEMS OF THE BODY, AND SO THE NETI WAS HAS BEEN FOUND TO BE A HELPFUL PRACTICE BEFORE MEDITATION.

                    MIX WELL A HEAPING ONE-QUARTER TEASPOON OF FINELY GROUND SALT, SUCH AS TABLE SALT (USE A SLIGHTLY ROUNDED ONE-HALF TEASPOON WITH COARSE VARIETIES, LIKE KOSHER SALT) AND LUKEWARM WATER IN YOUR NETI POT. (THE AMOUNT OF SALT MAY VARY SLIGHTLY WITH EACH PERSON), MAKE SURE THE SALT IS COMPLETELY DISSOLVED BEFORE USING THE SOLUTION. BRING THE SPOUT TO THE NOSE AND BEND FORWARD OVER THE SINK, WITH THE HEAD TILTED TO THE SIDE AND SLIGHTLY FORWARD. AS THE WATER FLOWS THROUGH THE UPPER NOSTRIL, MAKE SLIGHT ADJUSTMENTS WITH YOUR HEAD AND THE NETRI POT, IF NECESSARY, TO ALLOW THE WATER TO FLOW OUT OF THE OTHER NOSTRIL.

                    AFTER THE POT EMPTIES, BLOW FREELY INTO THE SINK THROUGH BOTH NOSTRILS TO CLEAR THE NOSE OF EXCESS WATER AND MUCUS. DO NOT CLOSE THE WATER BACK INTO THE EAR. IF THERE ARE ANY FURTHER PROBLEMS IN CLEARING THE NOSTRILS, KNEEL DOWN AND BRNG YOUR FOREHEAD TO THE FLOOR SO THAT YOUR HIPS ARE ABOVE THE LEVEL OF THE HEAD. BLOW FREELY THROUGH THE NOSTRILS AS BEFORE. TURNING THE HEAD TO EITHER SIDE WHILE DOING SO COULD AID THIS PROCESS AS WELL. AFTER COMPLETING THE NETI WASH THROUGH THE NOSTRILS IN ONE DIRECTION, REPEAT THE SAME STEPS ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE.

                     AFTER SOME PROFICIENCY IS GAINED IN THIS METHOD, ONE MAY ALSO LEARN TO DIRECT THE WATER FROM THE NOSE OUT THROUGH THE MOUTH, AGAIN BY MAKING SLIGHT ADJUSTMENTS WITH THE POSITION OF THE HEAD AND THE NETI POT, AND USING THE BACK OF THE MOUTH TO DRAW THE WATER IN FOR SPITTING IT OUT. THIS METHOD IS ALSO HELPFUL FOR CLEASING AND RIDDING THE NASAL PASSAGES OF EXCESS MUCUS AND DIRT, AND RESTORING HEALTH TO THE SINUS MEMBRANES.

                  A MUCOUS MEMBRANE ALSO LINES THE PASSGEWAYS THAT CARRY AIR DOWN INTO THE LUNGS AND CHEST, FOR THE BRONCHI ARE FITTED WITH THE SAME KIND OF LINING AS THE NOSE, WHICH SECRETS MUCUS TO KEEP THE PASSAGES MOIST. OTHERWISE THE AIR WOULD DRY AND INJURE THEM. THE MUCUS SECRETED IN THESE PASSAGEWAYS IS MOVED UPWARD BY THE CILIA, ALL THE WAY TO THE THROAT, DAY AND NIGHT. DURING THE DAY THE CILIA ORDINARILY HAVE TO WORK AGAINST GRAVITY, BUT AT NIGHT, WHEN ONE LIES DOWN, THEIR WORK IS EASIER SINCE THEY DON'T HAVE TO PUSH THE MUCUS UPHILL. FOR THIS REASON, AT NIGHT A GREAT DEAL MORE MUCUS COMES UP TO THE THROAT, IS CLEARED, AND SWALLOWED. THAT PROCESS GOAS ON WITHOUT CEASING.

                    NORMALLY, THE MUCUS ENTERING THE GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT IS DISSOLVED BY THE JUICES WHICH ALSO KILL ALL THE MICROBES. THIS IS A SORT OF INTERNAL ECOLOGICAL SYSTEM IN WHICH MUCUS IS BROKEN DOWN AND RECYCLED, AND WHICH PREVENTS A VARIETY OF PROBLEMS. HOWEVER, PROBLEMS WILL DEVELOP AS SOON AS MUCUS IS EXCESSIVE OR WHEN DIGESTIVE JUICES ARE NOT PRESENT. UNFORTUNATELY, THED INTESTINAL TRACT TO QUIET DOWN AD REST DURING THE NIGHT, BECAUSE DIGESTION IS A PROCESS THAT IS NOT NORMALLY ACTIVE AT THIS TIME, LESS DIGESTIVE JUICE IS SECRETED. THEREFORE, IF THE MUCUS IS EXCESSIVE, A STOMACH FULL OF IT CAN ACCUMULATE BY MORNING. FOR THIS REASON MAY PEOPLE WAKE UP FEELING QUITE UNCOMFORTABLE UNTIL THEY EAT SOMETHING. WHICH SERVES TO EITHER DILUTE THE MUCUS OR PUSH IT OUT OF THE STOMACH. THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE OF PEOPLE WITH SUCH PROBLEMS AS LUNG DISEASE, EMPHYSEMA, AND ASTHMA, WHO TEND TO PRODUCE A GREAT DEAL OF MUCUS.

                  FOR SUCH PERSONS, A MORNING WASH IS OFTEN RECOMMENDED. HERE, A LARGE QUANTITY OF SALINE SOLUTION IS SWALLOWED, AND THEN THROWN UP. THIS BRINGS OUT THE MUCUS FROM THE STOMACH- A SIMPLE BUT SOUND HYGIENIC PRINCIPLES. THE TECHNIQUE IS CALLED GAJ KARNI (THE UPPER WASH), AND MOST WELLTRAINED YOGA INSTRUCTORS ARE ABLE TO INSTRUCT OTHERS IN ITS USE. (THIS TECHNIQUE IS PERFORMED ON AN EMPTY STOMACH, INDUCING VOMITING TO EMPTY THE STOMACH CONTENTS AFTER A MEAL, IN ORDER TO PREVENT WEIGHT GAIN, IS AN EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY PRACTICE)

               SMOKERS, ESPECIALLY, TEND TO DEVELOP A GREAT DEAL OF MUCUS. A LOT OF THIS IS MOBILIZED AND THROWN OUT IF THEY STOP SMOKING, AND AFTER THIS CLEANSING PERIOD THE LUNGS BEGIN TO RECOVER. AND AFTER THIS CLEANSING PERIOD THE LUNGS BEGIN TO RECOVER. THE ACCUMULATION OF MUCUS IN SMOKERS (WHICH CREATES THEIR CHARACTERISTIC RATTLING COUGH AND THEIR INABILITY TO BRING OUT THE MUCUS THAT ACCUMULATES) IS DUE TO BOTH THE IRRITATION CAUSED BY SMOKE AND COAL TAR, AND TO THE DESTRUCTION OF CILIA. THE CONTENTS OF CIGARETTE SMOKE TOTALLY DECIMATE THE CILIA IN THE MUCOUS MEMBRANES, AND THIS MEANS OUT OF THE LUNGS TO THE THROAT. SO IT ACCUMULATES. AFTER ONE STOPS SMOKING THE CILIA GRADUALLY BEGIN TO REGENERATE AND TO HANDLE THE MUCUS NORMALLY AGAIN.

THE BRIEF ABOUT OUR NOSE

 

                     

                          THE FUNCTION OF OUR NOSE

                                 FOR SOME REASON PEOPLE DON'T PAY MUCH ATTENTION TO THE NOSE. EXCEPT FOR THE COSMETIC EFFECTS OF ITS SHAPE, IT IS USUALLY REGARDEDAS LITTLE MORE THAN AN OPENING THROUGH WHICH AIR ENTERS. IF THAT WERE ITS SOLE PURPOSE, HOWEVER, PEOPLE MIGHT SUPPOSE THAT IT WOULD BE CONSTRUCTED DIFFERENTLY, IT SHOULD BE WIDE AND OPEN. BUT THE NOSE IS ACTUALLY THE NARROWEST PLACE IN THE RESPIRATORY TRACT. IT IS LIKE A BOTTLENECK, IT IS THE ONE PLACE WHERE THE AIRFLOW IS MOST CONSTRICTED AS THE AIR GOES INTO THE LUNGS. IF YOU COMPARE THE WORK REQUIRED TO PULL THE AIR IN AND OUT OF THE NOSE, IT IS 150 PERCENT OF WHAT IT WOULD BE TO MOVE THE AIR THROUGH THE MOUTH. THIS IS QUITE A DIFFERENCE, AND IT EXISTS EVEN WHEN YOUR NOSE IS NOT STUFFED UP. WHEN WE STOP TO CONSIDER THAT WE BREATHE EIGHTEEN TO TWENTY THOUSAND TIMES A DAY, WE CAN BEGIN TO APPRECIATE THE AMOUNT OF EXTRA WORK DONE IN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS SIMPLY TO GET THE AIR IN AND OUT OF THE NOSE INSTEAD OF THE MOUTH. THIS PROCESS USES A GREAT DEAL OF ENERGY, SO THERE MUST BE A GOOD REASON FOR IT

                    THERE ARE SEVERAL GOOD REASONS. THE NOSE DOES MUCH MORE THAN SIMPLY LET THE AIR IN. MEDICAL SPECIALISTS WHO HAVE STUDIED DISEASE OF THE NOSE (RHINOLOGISTS) CAN LIST NEARLY THIRTY DISCTINCT FUNCTIONS THAT IT FILTERS, MOISTURIZES, DIRECTS IN OXYGEN, CREATES MUCUS, PROVIDES A ROUTE OF DRAINAGE FOR THE SINUSES, AND AFFECT THE NERVOUS SYSTEM. IT HAS A NUMBER OF OTHER FUNCTIONS, TOO, BUT THERE ARE THE BEST UNDERSTOOD.

                   ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY

                                      OF THE NOSE

                    THE WORD NOSE IS ACTUALLY A SOMEWHAT AMBIGOUS TERM. TO THE AVERAGE PERSON IT MEANS THE PROTRUSION VISIBLE ON THE MIDDLE OF THE FACE. BUT TO PHYSICIANS AND PHYSIOLOGISTS IT ALSO MEANS A MYSTERIOUS AND COMPLEX INTERNAL PASSAGEWAY THAT SOMEHOW INVOLVES THE SINUSES AND THE SENSE OF SMELL. FOR THIS REASON IT IS PERHAPS MORE ACCURATE TO THINK OF THERE BEING TWO DISTINCT DIVISIONS OF THE NOSE, THE EXTERNAL AND THE INTERNAL PASSAGEWAYS, WHICH ARE OFTEN INTRICATE AND SERVE A VARIETY OF IMPORTANT PURPOSES, ONLY HUMANS HAVE THIS PECULIAR FACIAL PROTUBERANCE. OTHER ANIMALS HAVE ONLY SIMPLE OPENINGS, OR HOLES, THROUGH WHICH THE AIR ENTERS THE INTERNAL NASAL CAVITY. EVEN OUR CLOSEST RELATIVE, THE APE, DOESN'T REALLY HAVVE A NOSE. WHILE THERE ARE TWO NOSTRILS, THE PROFILE OF A APE SHOWS NOTHING SO PROMINENT AS THE STRUCTURE WE SPORT.

                  THE SHAPE OF THE EXTERNAL NOSE, HOWEVER, PLAYS AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN PREPARING AIR FOR INHALATION. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE WHO ORIGINATED IN DIFFERENT CLIMATES HAVE DIFFERENTLY SHAPED NOSES. A LONG, BIG NOSE THAT HEATS THE AIR BEFORE IT GETS INSIDE IS CHARATERISTIC OF THOSE WHO LIVE IN COOLER CLIMATES AND ALSO OF THOSE WHO LIVE IN CLIMATES, SUCH AS THE MIDDLE EAST, WHERE THE AIR IS VERY DRY. A WARM, MOIST CLIMATE, ON THE OTHER HAND, REQUIRES MUCH LESS PROCESSING OF THE AIR, MAKING THE WIDE, OPEN NOSTRILS OF THE INHABITANTS OF TROPICAL JUNGLES A RECOGNIZABLE TRAIT.

                      THE EXTERNAL NOSE ALSO TO GATHER AIR AND ACCURATE ITS FLOW, FORMING A RAPID JET THAT ENTERS THE CAVITY WITHIN THE FACE, THE INTERNAL NOSE. AS WE SHALL SEE LATER, THE WAY THAT THE STREAM OF AIR IS AIMED INSIDE THE HEAD CAN BE OF EXTEME IMPORTANCE. THERE ARE TWO PARTS TO THE EXTERNAL NOSE. ONE PART IS BONE. IF WE FEEL THE BASE OF THE NOSE WE FIND IT TO BE QUITE HAND AND RIGID. MOVING OUTWARD, WE ENCOUNTER A SOFTER AREA. THIS IS MADE OF CARTILAGE. THE FIRST LITTLE COMPARTMENT IN THE EXTERNAL NOSE IS CALLED THE VESTIBULE, AND IT IS FORMED PRIMILARILY BY THE TWO WINGS, OR ALAE, OF THE NOSE WHICH FLARE OUT ON EACH SIDE OF IT. BECAUSE THEY ARE CARTILAGE, AND RELATIVELY FLEXIBLE, THEY TEND TO BE INFLUENCED BY GRAVITY, SO IF WE LIE ON OUR SIDE THE UPPERMOST NOSTRIL WILL TEND TO BE PULLED DOWNWARD AND PARTIALLY CLOSE IN A VALVE-LIKE WAY.

                   MOVING FURTHER UP THE NOSE, THERE ARE A NUMBER OF SMALL BONES AND CARTILAGES PUT TOGETHER IN AN INTRICATE WAY AND ATTACHED AND CARTILAGES PUT TOGETHER IN AN INTRICATE WAY AND ATTACHED TO A SERIES OF BONES, WHEN THE NOSE IS BROKEN, IT IS ESSENTIALLY THE BONY PARTS AT THE ROOT OF THE NOSE THAT ARE FRACTURED. THE FLEXIBLE PART, HOWEVER, CAN ALSO BE INJURED, PARTICULARLY INTERNALLY. INSIDE AND TOWARD THE TIP OF THE NOSE, THE SETUM, WHICH DIVIDES THE EXTERNAL NOSE INTO TWO PASSEGEWAYS, IS ALSO MADE OF CARTILAGE. FURTHER BACK IT IS BONY. EITHER PART OF IT CAN BE DAMAGED, AND THIS IS MAY RESULT IN THE FAMILIAR "DEVIATED SEPTUM", WHICH TENDS TO CLOSE OFF ONE NOSTRIL AND FAVOR THE OTHER.

BREATH AWARENESS

 

                         DEVELOPING AWARENESS OF

                                                 BREATH

                        HOW TO DEVELOP CONTROL OVER THE PRANIC LEVEL OF ONE'S BEING SEEMS DEEPLY MYSTERIOUS OR OCCULT TO US IN THE WEST. TURNING TO THE INSIGHTS OF THE EAST, WE FIND THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY. SO ACCORDING TO THE YOGIS, THE PRINCIPLES OF PRANA ARE SIMPLE AND SCIENTIFIC. TRAINING IN THE SCIENCE OF BREATH IS TIME-CONSUMING ONLY BECAUSE OUR CULTURE AND HABITS HAVE LED US AWAY FROM A FINE-TUNED LEVEL OF SELF-AWARENESS. HOWEVER, AWARENESS OF THE BREATH CAN EASILY BECOME A CONSTANT PART OF THE WAY WE FUNCTION, ACT, FEEL, AND THINK.

                  CONSIDER YOUR LEFT LEG. ORDINARILY, OF COURSE, YOU ARE NOT PARTICULARLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR LEFT LEG. AT TEH MOMENT YOU ARE PROBABLY NOT THINKING, "OH WHERE SHALL I PUT THIS LEG NEXT? OR MY GOSH, WHEN I GET UP AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO REMEMBER HOW TO MOVE IT? WHEN YOU WALK YOU GENERALLY DON'T HAVE TO STOP AND THINK, "NOW, THE LEFT COMES AFTER THE RIGHT, THE RIGHT COMES NEXT, AND THEN THE LEFT AGAIN, AND I SHOULD REMEMBER TO LIFT THE TOES SO THE WON'T DRAG ON THE GROUND". YOU RARELY THINK ABOUT WHERE EXACTLY YOUR LEFT LEG IS, AND YET YOU DON'T WORRY THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE MISPLACED IT. IN A WAY IT REALLY IS AMAZING THAT YOU CAN SIT THERE READING THIS BOOK, INTERACT WITH THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU, LISTEN FOR THE TELEPHONE, AND STILL KEEP UP WITH THAT LEG.

                   THIS IS POSSIBLE  BECAUSE FOR YEARS AND YEARS YOU'VE  BEEN USING YOUR LEGS. AT FIRST, YOU MAY RECALL, IT WASN'T SO EASY. IT TOOK SEVERAL YEARS FOR US TO GET IT RIGHT. WE STARTED TRYING TO PUT THE LEG, OR AT LEAST AT FOOT, INTO OUR MOUTH AND MAKING INTERESTING DISCOVERIES ALONG THE WAY, WE COULD WIGGLE OUR TOES AND FEEL A SHARP PAIN IF WE BIT INTO THEM. AFTER A GREAT DEAL OF TRAIL ERROR, HOWEVER, WE LEARNED TO WALK, AND BEFORE TOO LONG, WE DIDN'T EVEN NEED TO THINK ABOUT IT.

                   IT MIGHT BE HELPFUL TO LOOK AT THE BREATH IN THE SAME WAY. IT'S A SYSTEM WE'VE GOT RUNNING ON AUTOMATIC NOW, JUST LIKE WALKING. YET THE BREATH IS ALSO SOMETHING OF WHICH WE CAN BE CONSTANTLY AWARE. YOGIS WHO ARE MASTERS OF SVARODAYA, THE SCIENCE OF BREATH, CLAIM TO BE AWARE OF EVERY BREATH THEY TAKE.

                     WE COME NOW TO THE MOST CRUCIAL POINT OF ALL, THE KEY TO YOGA SCIENCE. BREATHING IS THE ONLY PHYSIOLOGICAL PROCESS THAT CAN BE EITHER VOLUNTARY OR INVOLUNTARY. INDIVIDUALS CAN BREATHE CONSCIOUSLY, MAKING THE BREATH DO WHATEVER THEY WISH, OR THEY CAN IGNORE IT, AND THE BODY SIMPLY BREATHES ON ITS OWN. THE BODY CAN'T OPERATE WITHOUT BREATH, SO IF CONSCIOUS PART OF THE MIND REFLEXIVELY BEGINS TO FUNCTION AND STARTS BREATHING FOR US. IN THIS CASE, BREATHING FALLS BACK UNDER THE CONTROL OF PRIMITIVE FALLS BACK UNDER THE CONTROL OF PRIMITIVE PARTS OF THE BRAIN, AN UNCONSCIOUS REALM OF THE MIND WHERE EMOTIONS, THOUGHTS, AND FEELINGS, OF WHICH WE MAY HAVE LITTLE OR NO AWARENESS, BECOME INVOLVED AND CAN WREAK WITH HAVOC WITH THE RHTHMS OF OUR BREATH. THE BREATH MAY BECOME HAPHAZARD AND IRREGULAR WHEN LOSE CONSCIOUS CONTROL OF IT.

                  THE SAME THING, OF COURSE, CAN HAPPEN WITH YOU LEFT LEG. SOMETIMES PEOPLE DEVELOP PROBLEMS WITH THEIR FEET BECAUSE OF THE WAY THEY USE, OR RATHER MISUSE, THEM. IF YOU NEGLECT YOUR LEFT FOOT, THEN INSTEAD OF SENSING, "OH, THERE'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON THE LATERAL INSOLE". AND MAKING AN ADJUSTMENT, YOU SIMPLY GO ON WALKING AS USUAL. EVENTUALLY THE FOOT BECOMES TWISTED AND DISTORTED. THEN YOU PAY A PODIATRIST A HEFTY FEE TO SHOW YOU SOME FOR EXERCISE, SLOWLY BRINGING THE FOOT BACK INTO YOUR AWARENESS SO IT CAN BEGIN TO FUNCTION PROPERLY AND HEAL.

                  THE SAME THING HAPPENS WITH THE BREATH. IT CAN EITHER BE ALLOWED TO RUN HAPHAZARDLY AND CREATE HAVOC IN THE BODY AND MIND, OR IT CAN BECOME A PART OF YOUR CONSTANT AWARENESSS AND BE HARMONIOUSLY COORDINATED. AND ONCE THE BREATH IS INTEGRATED INTO YOUR AWARENESS, YOU'LL WONDER HOW YOU EVER GOT ALONG BEFORE.

                  PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN INJUIRED AND HAVEN'T WALKED FOR SOME TIME MAY DEVELOP THE HABIT OF IGNORING THE LOWER HAFL OF THEIR BODY. THEY LIVE FROM THE WAIST UP. WHAT'S ABOVE THE WAIST IS ALIVE WHEREAS WHAT'S BELOW IS DEAD WEIGHT. AS THESE PEOPLE RECOVER THE FUNCTIONING OF THE INJUIRED HALF, THEY GO THROUGH AN ELABORATE PROCESS OF LEARNING HOW TO USE THEIR LEGS AGAIN. THEY HAVE EXTEND THEIR AWARENSS BACK DOWN INTO THEIR LEGS, WHICH REQUIRES HARD WORK BECAUSE THEY HAD MENTALLY DISAVOWED THAT PART OF THEMSELVES, IGNORING IT, CUTTING IT OFF.

                   AND HERE IS THE PROBLEM WE BEGIN TO CONFRONT WHEN WE LEARN ABOUT BREATHING. WE MUST BRING BACK INTO OUR AWARENESS A WHOLE AREA OF OURSELVES THAT WE'VE CUT OFF, GRADUALLY REINTEGRATING IT OUT CONSCIOUSNESS. THE MORE WE MAKE IT PART OF OUR CONSTANT AWARENSS, THE MORE IT BECOMES A VITAL DIMENSION OF OURSELVES.

                 AT THAT POINT  THE TEACHINGS OF PRANAYAMA (BREATH CONTROL) BEGIN TO MAKE SENSE. THROUGH CONSTANT AWARENESS AND EXPERIENCE WE DISCOVER FOR OURSELVES WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE BREATHE SWITCHES FROM THE RIGHT TO THE LEFT NOSTRIL, THERE IS A SHIFT OF PHYSICAL AND MENTAL TONE. FOR EXAMPLE, HAVING LUNCH TODAY WITH THE LEFT NOSTRIL OPEN IS FOLLOWED BY THE REALIZATION THAT THE FOOD DIDN'T SIT AS WELL AS USUAL. THE SCRIPTURES SAY WE SHOULD EAT ONLY WHEN THE RIGHT NOSTRIL IS OPEN. BECAUSE THE EMOTIONS ARE CLOSELY RELATED TO THE BREATH, BY ALTERING OUR RESPIRATORY RHYTHM WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SHIFT EMOTIONAL GEARS. THIS IS SOMETHING WE CAN TRY OUT, EXPERIMENT WITH FROM MOMENT TO MOMENT. IN THIS WAY THE SCIENCE OF BREATH CEASES TO BE MERE THEORY AND BECOMES PART OF PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE, VASTLY ENRICHING OUR SELF-KNOLEDGE.

                THIS AWARENESS COMES GRADUALLY. THE STAGE FOR THIS SELF-EXPLORATION IS SET BY UNDERSTANDING THE MECHANICS OF PRANA AND BY THE REGULAR PRACTICE OF BREATH AWARNESS AND BREATHING EXERCISES. THE RESULT IS AN AWAKENING OF A WHOLE PART OF OURSELVES THAT WE DIDN'T KNOW WAS THERE BEFORE, A COMPLETELY NEW ASPECT OF OUR BEING TO WHICH OUR EYES HAD BEEN CLOSED. SVARODAY, THE SCIENCE OF BREATH, OPENS OUR INNER AWARENSS TO THE VERY ENERGY THAT GIVES US LIFE AND SHAPES OUR BEING.

THE SCIENCE OF BREATH

 

                       

                                       COSMIC  BREATH

              IN THIS SCIENTIFIC ERA, WE ASSUME THAT THE PHYSICAL BODY GIVES RISE TO THE MIND, THAT THE MIND GROWS OUT OF THE BODY. ACCORDING TO THIS VIEW. THE FECTUS HAS ESSENTIALLY NO MIND. AFTER BIRTH, THOUGHT AND CONSCIOUSNESS GRADUALLY DEVELOP. WE LOOK AT THE COSMOS THE SAME WAY. SOMEWHERE ON THE PRIMORDIAL EARTH, MOLECULES RANDOMLY FELL INTO PLACE AND LIFE APPEARED. OVER MILLIONS OF YEARS, MORE COMPLEX FORMS OF LIFE EVOLVED, AND EVENTUALLY THERE EMERGED A CONSCIOUS, SELF-AWARE BEING.

               BUT IN THE EAST, AS IN MUCH OF THE ANCIENT WORLD, THERE HAS BEEN A DIFFERENT, ALMOST OPPOSITE, VIEW. YOGA PHILOSOPHY INSISTS THAT EACH OF THE LEVELS OF BEING EVOLVES OUT OF THE ONE ABOVE IT. OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS COMES MIND, OUT OF THE MIND COMES THE PHYSICAL UNIVERSE. MIND DESIRED PHYSICAL EXISTENCE AND SO EVOLVED A BODY IN WHICH TO MANIFEST ITSELF.

                 THIS IS VASTLY DIFFERENT WAY OF LOOKING AT THE WORLD. IT IMPLIES THAT THE ESSENCE OF OUR BEING LIES BEYOND THE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL COSMOS. IT IMPLIES THAT WE ARE ALL MANIFESTATIONS OF AN ALMOST INCONCEIVABLE FORM OF CONSCIOUSNESS WHICH LIES BEYOND THE GROSSER LEVELS OF OUR EXISTENCE. IT IS FROM THERE WE CAME AND TO THERE WE WILL RETURN. IT IS FROM THERE WE CAME AND TO THERE WE WILL RETURN. THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE  FLOWS OUT OF THAT CONSCIOUSNESS AND ULTIMATELY FLOWS BACK INTO ITS SOURCE, LIKE A TIDE THAT FLOWS IN AND OUT.

                     ODDLY ENOUGH, SOME ASTRONOMERS HAVE ARRIVED AT A SOMEWHAT SIMILAR CONCLUSION. IT IS THE ASTRONOMER, OF COURSE, WHOSE AREA OF STUDY PUSHES HIM HARD UP UP AGAINST THE IMPONDERABLES. HIS CONCEPTUAZATION OF THE GEOGRAPHY OF THE UNIVERSE FORCE HIM TO DEAL WITH UNCOMFORTABLE OF THE UNIVERSE FORCE HIM TO DEAL WITH UNCOMFORTABLE CONCEPTS LIKE ETERNITY AND INFINITE SPACE. WHERE DOES IT ALL STOP, AND IF TIME AND SPACE TO END, WHAT LIES BEYOND THEM? SUDDENLY WE REALIZE THAT HUMAN RATIONALITY IS A POOR TOOL WITH WHICH TO MEASURE COSMIC REALITY.

                  MANY ASTRONOMERS TODAY BELIEVE THAT THE GALAXIES AND PLANETS ARE PULLING APART FROM EACH OTHER, THAT THE SPACE BETWEEN CELESTIAL BODIES IS EXPANDING DUE TO AN EXPLOSION FROM A DENSE CENTER. THIS IS THE "BIG BAND THEORY". WHICH ALSO HOLDS THAT AFTER A CERTAIN POINT OF EXPANSION, THE COSMOS WILL BEGIN TO CONTRACT AND ALL THE PLANETS, STARTS, AND GALAXIES WILL BE PULLED BACK INTO YET ANOTHER DENSE CENTER - FROM WHICH IT ALL EXPLODES AGAIN.

                    THE PROCESS, THEN, IS A FAMILIAR ONE OF EXPANSION AND CONTRACTION. IN A SENSE, IT IS NOTHING MORE THAN A COSMIC INHALATION AND EXHALATION. ALL THE LEVELS OF OUR EXISTENCE CAN BE SEEN AS FUNCTIONING HARMONIOUSLY IF WE GRASP THE BASIC PHENOMENON LEVEL WE MANIFEST, WE BECOME PEOPLE. WE BECOME PHYSICAL, AND THEN WE RETURN TO CONSCIOUSNESS. HENCE IT IS THAT ONE CAN SPEND DECADES IMPLICATIONS OF THE PROCESS OF BREATHING.

THE BRIEF ABOUT OUR BREATH

 

                           WHY BOTHER WITH BREATH?

                         YOGA  AND THE BODY OF ENERGY

                       MANY READERS WILL BE SURPRISED TO FIND A WHOLE BOOK DEVOTED TO THE SUBJECT OF BREATHING, FOR THE STUDY OF BREATH HAS NOT RECEIVED MUCH ATTENTION IN WESTERN MEDICINE. IN A LETTER TO THE EDITOR PRINTED IN A WELL-KNOWN MEDICAL JOURNAL, A PHYSICIAN WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE TIME AND MONEY WASTED ON RESEARCH IN TRIVIAL AREAS. "THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW", HE LAMENTED, SOMEONE WILL BE WRITING A BOOK LENGTH DISSERTATION ON "HOW TO BREATHE"! HE COULDN'T IMAGINE A SUBJECT MORE TRIFLING OR A PROCESS MORE OBVIOUS THAN BREATHING.

                    OF COURSE, BREATHING IS A VITAL PROCESS. IF YOU DON'T BREATHE, YOU DON'T LIVE, SO EVERYONE WILL AGREE IT'S IMPORTANT IN THAT SENSE. YET MOST OF US WOULD SAY, "EITHER YOU'RE BREATHING OR YOU'RE NOT. IF YOU'RE BREATHING, THERE'S NO PROBLEM. IF YOU'RE NOT BREATHING, YOU'RE DEAD, SO YOU'RE NOT HAVING ANY PROBLEMS EITHER".

                     PERHAPS IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE. IN THE EASTERN TRADITIONS THERE HAVE LONG BEEN THOSE WHO WOULD SPEND DECADES STUDYING THE BREATH. IN FACT, THERE ARE ENTIRE MONASTERIES WHERE MOST OF THE FOCUS CENTERS AROUND BREATHING, AND IT IS SAID THAT MANY OF THE SO-CALLED MIRACLES PERFORMED BY YOGIS ARE BASED PRIMARILY ON CONTROL OF THE BREATH. BUT WHY WOULD SO MUCH EMPHASIS BE PLACED ON AN ORDINARY, EVEYDAY  PROCESS LIKE BREATHING?

                             THE MIND/BODY PROBLEM

                  OUR  DIFFICULTY IN UNDERSTANDING WHY BREATHING NIGHT BE SO STRATEGIC TEMS IN PART FROM OUR WESTERN WAY OF LOOKING AT THE WORLD. OUR PERSPECTIVE IS BASED PRIMARILY ON THE STUDY OF MATERIAL PHENOMENA. WE TAKE SOLID THINGS AND ANALYZE THEM PHYSICALLY AND CHEMICALLY. OUR LABORATORY SCIENCE IS BASED ON THE MEASUREMENT AND MANIPULATION OF MATTER. OUR PHYSICIANS ARE TRAINED IN ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY. OUR PHILOSOPHY IS BASICALLY MATERIALISTIC.

                   IN A SIMILAR WAY, OUR APPROACH TO UNDERSTANDING THE HUMAN BEING A PRIMARILY PHYSICAL. IT'S ESSENTIALLY BASED ON THE STUDY OF THE BODY, THE PART WE CAN TOUCH, THE MEASURABLE ASPECT OF OUR BEING. THE SCIENTIFIC STUDIES WE FEEL MOST COMFORTABLE WITH ARE THOSE WHICH TREAT WHAT IS OBJECTIVELY OBSERVABLE.WHEN OUR RESEARCH STRAYS FROM THE WORLDOF MATERIAL OBJECTS AND ATTEMPTS THE STUDY OF FEEL A BIT LESS SURE OF OURSELVES, AND THE QUESTION INEVITABLY ARISES, IS THIS REALLY SCIENTIFIC.

             THESE DOUBTS ABOUT THE SCIENTIFIC VALIDY OF NONPHYSICAL STUDIES ARE ESPECIALLY EVIDENT WITH RESPECT TO RESEARCH I PSYCHOLOGY, YET THE MIND IS OBVIOUSTLY ANOTHER REAL LEVEL OF OUR EXISTENCE - ON WITH WHICH WE CANNOT AVOID COMING TO TERMS. THE CONTEMPORARY WESTERNER'S INTEREST IN THE MIND IS EQUALED ONLY BY UNCERTAINLY ABOUT HOW TO APPROACH. IT CAN'T BE DISSECTED OR MEASURED OR PUT IN A BOX. IT CAN'T BE PUT ON SLIDES AND VIEWED UNDER A MICROSCOPE. IT CAN'T BE TESTED WITH ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENTS.

                 YET OUR SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE ASSURES US THAT THERE IS SUCH A THING OUR THOUGHTS, WE ARE AWARE THAT SOMETHING IS GOING ON INSIDE, AND WE ADMIT, HOWEVER GRUDGINGLY, THAT THE WORKINGS OR OUR MIND ARE IN SOME WAY BEHIND MOST OF WHAT WE DO WITH OUT PHYSICAL BODY AND HOW WE MANIPULATE THE PHYSICAL WORLD.

              YET IN THE WEST WE REMAIN CONFUSED ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE MENTAL REALM AND THE TANGIBLE WORLD. HOW DOES THE PHYSICAL BODY INTERACT WITH THE MIND? THIS IS MORE THAN A THEORETICAL QUESTION. THE PROBLEM OF MIND/BODY INTERACTION IS ONE THAT PLAGUES OUR MEDICAL SCIENTIST AND BAFFLES OUR PSYCHOLOGISTS. WHEN PHYSICIANS FAIL TO ALTER THE PHYSICAL BODY TO THEIR PATIENTS" SATISFACTION, THEY THROW UP THEIR HANDS AND SAY THE PROBLEM MUST BE "PSYCHOLOGICAL". WHEN PSYCHOLOGISTS ARE UNABLE TO HELP PATIENTS REORGANIZE THEIR MENTAL WORLD, THEY SHRUG AND SAY, "PERHAPS YOU SHOULD SEE A MEDICAL DOCTOR TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NOT SOME PHYSICAL PROBLEM HERE". PATIENTS SHUTTLE BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN FRUSTRATED PSYCHOTHERAPISTS AND PUZZLED PHYSICIANS WHILE THE PSYCHOSOMATIC SPECIALISTS WHO WOULD UNDERSTAND THE INTEGRATION OF MIND AND BODY ARE YET TO APPEAR ON THE SCENE.

                 HOW DO THE MIND AND BODY  CONNECT? WESTERN SCIENCE SEEMS TO HAVE RUN INTO A DEAD AND END ON THE QUESTION. BUT THE PHILOSOPHY OF THE EAST, ESPECIALLY THAT OUT OF WHICH THE SCIENCE OF YOGA GREW, OFFER A CONTEXT WITHIN WHICH SOME ANSWERS MAY EMERGE, FOR YOGA INCLUDES THE STUDY OF BOTH THE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL REALMS. AND THESE TWO LEVELS OF FUNCTIONING CONSTITUTE ONLY A SMALL PART OF THE TOTAL SPECTRUM OF PHENOMENA ENCOMPASSED IN THE STUDY OF YOGA. 

                     SINCE ANCIENT TIMES YOGA MASTERS HAVE SPENT MANY LONG HOURS GOING WITHIN THEMSELVES, STYDYING AND TRYING TO UNRAVEL THE CONNECTIONS EXISTING BETWEEN THEIR VARIOUS LEVELS OF EXISTENCE. THEY DISCOVERED THAT BESIDES THE PHYSICAL BODY AND THE MIND, THERE ARE HIGHER LEVELS OF FUNCTIONING WHICH ARE ALSO IMPORTANT. FOR INSTANCE, THEY UNCOVERED AND EXPLORED AN AREA OF CONSCIOUSNESS BEYOND THOUGHT, A NONCONCEPTUAL LEVEL OF HEIGHTENED AND BROADENED AWARENESS THAT COULD ONLY BE APPROACHED BY STEPPING OUTSIDE THE ARENA OF OUR EVERYDAY THINKING PROCESS. THE TECHNIQUE OF INWARD ATTENTION WHICH ALLOWS ONE TO EXPLORE THIS LEVEL OF CONSCIOUSNESS IS CALLED MEDITATION.

                  MEDITATION IS A METHOD USED TO DEAL WITH THOSE LEVELS OF HUMAN FUNCTION OPERATING BEYOND THE MIND, WHAT WE MIGHT CALL "HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS". MEDITATION IS NOT, HOWEVER THE ONLY ASPECT OF YOGA, YOGA ALSO INCLUDES PHYSICAL POSTURES (ASANAS) WHICH TEACH THE PRACTITIONER TO CONTROL, REGULATE, AND BE AWARE OF HIS OR HER PHYSICAL BODY. THEN THERE ARE PRACTICES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MANIPULATION AND REGULATION OF PURELY MENTAL FUNCTIONS - CONCENTRATION, FOR INSTANCE. YOGA UNDERSTANDS THE HUMAN AS A MULTILEVELED BEING, ONE WITH A SERIES OF DISTINCT LEVELS OF EXISTENCE - THE PHYSICAL, THE MENTAL, AND WHAT LIES BEYOND THE MIND.

                 BUT IN OUR DISCUSSION SO FARWE HAVE ONMITTED MENTION OF ANOTHER IMPORTANT LEVEL WHICH LIES BETWEEN THE MIND AND THE BODY, FOR ACCORDING TO YOGA, THE MIND AND THE BODY DO NOT DIRECTLY INTERACT. RATHER, THEY RELATE TO EACH OTHER BY WAY OF AN IBTERMEDIATE LAYER OF FUNCTIONING. THE INDIFFERENCE OF WESTERN SCIENTIST TO THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH AN INTERMEDIATE STATE IS PERHAPS WHY, FOR THEM, THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN BODY AND MIND IS SO OBSCURE. THIS MAY BE WHY WE'VE BEEN STUCK WITH A "MIND /BODY DUALISM" WHICH SEEMS TO SPLIT OUR SCIENCE OF MAN ASUNDER, LEAVING IT IN TWO SEPERATE AND IRRECONCILABLE CAMPS, THAT OF THE PSYCHOLOGIST OR HUMANIST, AND THAT OF THE PHYSICAL SCIENTIST OR LABORATORY RESEARCHER.

                   ''HARD-NOSED" SCIENTIST ARE SURE THAT ANYTHING WORTHY OF STUDY OS PHYSICAL AND MATERIAL. IF THEY WISH TO DEAL WITH MAN'S ACTIONS AND BEHAVIOR, THEY LIMIT THEMSELVES TO STUDYING AND MEASURING THE MOVEMENTS OF THE BODY, THE PRODUCTION OF SPEECH, OR AN INDIVIDUAL'S TEST PERFORMANCE. IF THEY THINK OF THEMSELVES PSYCHOLOGISTS, THEY PREFER TO LABEL THEMSELVES BEHAVIORAL SCIENTISTS. THE MIND ITSELT THEY DISMISS, CONCINCED THAT IT IS NOT AMERABLE TO STUDY. THIS SEEMS TO BE A TREND OF THE TIMES, THOUGH IN THE PAST DECADE OR TWO THE "HOLISTIC HEALTH" MOVEMENT HAS BEGUN TO PUSH OPEN THE DOOR TO BROADER AWARENESS - A PORTAL THROUGH WHICH  A HANDFUL OF PIONEERING PHYSICIANS AND RESEARCHERS HAVE BEGUN TO STEP.

 

                   FORTUNATELY IN THE EAST, AND IN PARTICULAR BETWEEN THE PRACTITIONERS OF MEDITATION, THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN BODY AND MIND HAS BEEN THOROUGHLY EXPLORED AND FOUND TO CONSTITUTE AN INTERMEDIATE LINK RELATING THE BODY AND THE MIND. IT HAS ITS OWN PROPERTIES AND ITS OWN TOPOGRAPHY. MOREOVER, IT IS EXPLICITY TAUGHT THAT THIS INTERMEDIATE LEVEL HAS TO DO PRIMARILY WITH ENERGY.

THE KEY OF RELATIONSHIP

 

                           

                               SEVEN WAYS TO MAKE

                                    PEOPLE FEEL IMPORTANT

                     THE KEY TO EXCELLENT RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS IS QUITE SIMPLE. MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT. TO THE DEGREE TO WHICH YOU CAN MAKE OTHER PEOPLE FEEL IMPORTANT - STARTING WITH THE MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY AND THEN EXTENDING OUTWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS AND COWORKERS - YOU WILL BECOME ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR PEOPLE IN YOUR WORLD.

                      THERE ARE SEVEN WAYS TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE FEEL IMPORTANT. THESE ARE SIMPLE PRACTICES THAT YOU CAN LEARN THROUGH REPETITION.

                    ACCEPT PEOPLE THE WAY THEY ARE : ONE OF THE DEEPEST CRAVINGS OF HUMAN NATURE IS TO BE ACCEPTED BY OTHER PEOPLE WITHOUT JUDGMENT, EVALUATION, OR CRITICISM. PSYCHOLOGISTS CALL THIS BAHAVIOR "UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD". THIS IS WHEN YOU ACCEPT THE OTHER PERSON COMPLETELY, WITHOUT RESERVATION,FOR EXACTLY THE WAY HE OR SHE IS.

                  BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE JUDGMENTAL AND CRITICAL, TO BE UNCONDITONALLY ACCEPTED BY ANOTHER PERSON RAISES THAT PERSON'S SELF-ESTEEM, REINFORCES HIS OR HER SELF-IMAGE, AND MAKES THAT PERSON FEEL HAPPY ABOUT HIM OR HERSELF.

                  IN THE MOVIE, BRIDGET JONES DIARY, THE ENTIRE FOCUS WAS ON THE DISCOVERY BY BRIDGET THAT SHE HAD FOUND A MAN "WHO LIKES ME JUST THE WAY I AM". THIS WAS CONSIDERED TO BE SUCH AN AMAZING THING TO HAPPEN. ALL HER FRIENDS WERE ASTONISHED THAT ANYONE COULD EVER HAVE A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE BY ANOTHER PERSON.

                  WHEN YOU LOOK AT OTHER PEOPLE AND GIVE THEM A GENUINE SMILE, THEY FEEL HAPPIER ABOUT THEMSELVES. THEIR SELF-ESTEEM GOES UP. THEY FEEL MORE VALUABLE AND IMPORTANT. 

                     WHEN YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF AND THE IMPRESSION YOU ARE MAKING ON OTHERS AND INSTEAD START THINKING ABOUT OTHERS AND THE IMPRESSION YOU ARE MAKING ON OTHERS AND INSTEAD START THINKING ABOUT OTHERS AND THE IMPRESSION THEY ARE MAKING ON YOU, YOU CAN RELAX. YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATHE AND JUST SMILE AT PEOPLE WHEN YOU MEET THEM AND GREET THEM BOTH AT HOME AND AT WORK. IT IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL SELF-ESTEEM AND RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING BEHAVIORS YOU CAN DO. SMILING AT PEOPLE WHEN YOU MEET THEM AND GREET THEM BOTH AT HOME AND AT WORK. IT IS ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL SELF-ESTEEM AND RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING BEHAVIORS YOU CAN DO. SMILING AT PEOPLE MAKES THEM FEEL IMPORTANT AND VALUABLE.

                  SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION FOR OTHERS: WHENEVER YOU APPRECIATE ANOTHER PERSON FOR ANYTHING THAT HE OR SHE HAS DONE OR SAID, YOU RAISE THAT PERSON'S SELF-ESTEEM AND MAKE HIM OR HER FEEL THAT PERSON'S SELF-ESTEEM AND MAKE HIM OR HER FEEL MORE IMPORTANT. EXPRESSIONS OF APPRECIATION - FROM SMALL NODS AND SMILES ALL THE WAY THROUGH TO CARDS, LETTERS, AND GIFTS - RAISE PEOPLE'S SELF-ESTEEM AND CAUSE THEM TO LIKE THEMSELVES MORE. AS A RESULT, BY THE LAW OF INDIRECT EFFORT, THEY WILL LIKE YOU MORE AS WELL.

                     THE SIMPLEST WAY TO EXPRESS APPRECIATION IS TO SIMPLY SAY, THAN YOU. THE WORDS, "THANK YOU" ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED IN ANY LANGUAGE, ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD. I HAVE TRAVELED IN NINETY COUNTRIES, AND THE VERY FIRST THING I DO IS LEARN THE WORDS "PLEASE" AND "THANK YOU" . EACH TIME YOU USE THOSE WORDS, PEOPLE BRIGHTEN UP, SMILE, AND FEEL HAPPY TO BE IN YOUR PRESENCE.

               EVERY TIME YOU SAY THAN YOU, IT HAS AN ALMOST MAGICAL EFFECT ON THE OTHER PERSON. IT MAKES HIM FEEL IMPORTANT AND FAR HAPPIER ABOUT BEING IN YOUR PRESENCE AND HELPING YOU WITH ANYTHING YOU NEED.

                     BE AGREEBLE :THE MOST WELCOMD PEOPLE IN EVERY SITUATION ARE THOSE WHO ARE GENERALLY AGREEABLE AND POSITIVE WHO QUESTION, COMPLAIN, AND DISAGREE ARE SELDOM WELCOM ANYWHERE.

                    WHEN YOU NOD, SMILE, AND AGREE WITH ANOTHER PERSON WHEN HE OR SHE IS TALKING OR EXPRESSION AN OPIONION, YOU MAKE THAT PERSON FEEL INTELLIGENT, RESPECTED, VALUABLE, AND IMPORTANT. WHEN YOU ARE AGREEABLE WITH ANOTHER PERSON, EVERY IF HE SAYS SOMETHING WITH WHICH YOU MAY NOT BE IN COMPLETE ACCORD, YOU MAKE THAT PERSON FEEL HAPPY TO BE IN YOUR PRESENCE.

                  IN MY WORK AS A PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER, I MEET THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE EACH YEAR. THEY COME UP TO ME AND OFTEN EXPRESS OPINIONS ON SUBJECTS ON WHICH I AM OFTEN WELL INFORMED AND THEY OBVIOUSLY ARE NOT. SOMETIMES THEY SAY RIDICULOUS THINGS THAT ARE EITHER NOT TRUE OR MAKE NO SENSE.

                IN EVERY CASE, HOWEVER, I SMILE AND AGREE, NODDING AND ASKING THEM QUESTIONS AND LISTENING TO THEM EXPRESS THEIR IDEAS AND OPINIONS. THEY GO AWAY FEELING THAT THEY HAVE HAD A GOOD CONVERSATION WITH THE SPEAKER AND THAT I PROBABLY AGREE WITH THEM. IT COSTS ME NOTHING AND IT MAKES THEM HAPPY. IT MAKES THEM FEEL IMPORTANT.

                SHOW YOU ADMIRATION : PEOPLE USUALLY INVEST A LOT OF PERSONAL EMOTION IN THEIR POSSESSIONS, TRAITS, AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS. WHEN YOU ADMIRE SOMETHING BELONGING TO ANOTHER PERSON, IT MAKES HIM FEEL HAPPY ABOUT HIMSELF. AS ABRAHAM LINCOLN SAID, 'EVERYBODY LIKE A COMPLIMENT". 

                  EXPRESS YOUR ADMIRATION FOR PEOPLE'S APPEARANCE AND SPECIFIC ITEMS OF THEIR CLOTHING OR DRESS. MEN ARE ESPECIALLY COMPLIMENTED WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT THEIR TIES OR THEIR SHOES. WOMEN ENJOY BEING COMPLIMENTED ABOUT THEIR HAIR OR ANY OTHER ITEM OF THEIR APPEARANCE. PEOPLE SPEND A LOT OF TIME PUTTING THEMSELVES TOGETHER BEFORE THEY GO OUT.

                 YOU CAN ALSO COMPLIMENT A PERSON'S TRAITS OR CHARATERISTICS, SAYING THING SUCH AS, "YOU ARE CERTAINLY PERSISTENT, PEOPLE INVEST THEIR ENTIRE LIVES DEVELOPING TRAITS AND QUALITIES - ESPECIALLY POSITIVE QUALITIES - AND THEY FEEL FLATERED WHEN YOU NOTICE AND COMPLIMENT THEM ON THOSE QUALITIES.

               COMPLIMENT A PERSON'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS. TELL PEOPLE HOW MUCH YOU ADMIRE THEIR HOME OR OFFICE OR THE BUSINESS THEY HAVE BUILT OR THE POSITION THEY HAVE ACHIEVED IN THAT BUSINESS.

THE EFFECT OF FORGIVENESS

 

                         THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

                   ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL VALUES THAT YOU TEACH YOUR CHILDREN IS FORGIVENESS. THE INABILITY TO FORGIVE LIES AT TEH ROOT OF MOST NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. WHEN YOU PRACTICE FORGIVENESS, WHEN YOU FREELY LET THINGS GO, YOUR CHILDREN GROW UP WITH THE ABILITY OF FORGIVE AS WELL. THIS SAVES THEM FROM YEARS OF UNHAPPINESS AS THE RESULT OF SOMEONE HURTING THEM IS OME WAY, WHICH WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN.

                   MY PARENTS WERE ADAMANT AND INFLEXIBLE. THEY HAD LOW SELF-ESTEEM AS THE RESULT OF DIFFICULT DEPRESSION-ERA CHILHOODS. AS A RESULT, ONCE THEY HAD TAKEN A POSITION ON ANY SUBJECT, AS A RESULT, ONCE THEY HAD TAKEN A POSITION ON ANY SUBJECT, HOWEVER WRONG, THEY COULD NEVER BACK DOWN AND ADMIT THAT THEY WERE WRONG.

                I RESOLVED THAT WHEN I HAD CHILDREN, I WOULD DO EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE. FROM THE TIME MY DAUGHTER CHRISTINA WAS THE OPPOSITE. FROM THE TIME MY DAUGHTER CHRISTINA WAS A LITTLE GIRL, IF I SHOUTED AT HER FOR ANY REASON.  I WOULD ALWAYS GO TO HER AND APOLOGIZE. I WOULD SAY, "I SHOULD NOT HAVE SHOUTED AT YOU. I WAS WRONG, WILL YOU FORGIVE ME? 

                WHEN YOU RAISE CHILDREN, THEY WILL MAKE COUNTLESS MISTAKES WHILE THEY ARE GROWING UP. SOMETIMES YOU WILL OVERREACT. UNLESS YOU ARE A SAINT, THIS IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU NOT TO DO. HOWEVER, WHENEVER YOU MAKE A MISTAKE WITH YOUR CHILD, YOU SHOULD HAVE THE COURAGE AND COMPASSION TO REALIZE THAT DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM FROM A PARENT IS EXTREMELY PAINFUL TO A CHILD, GO AND TAKE IT BACK. APOLOGIZE AND ASK YOUR CHILD FOR JUSTIFY REACTING IN A NEGATIVE AND HURTFUL WAY TOWARD YOUR CHILD, JUST SAY, I APOLOGIZE , WILL YOU FORGIVE M?

                    AND THEY ALWAYS WILL. THE MINUTE YOU APOLOGIZE AND ASK YOUR CHILDREN TO FORGIVE YOU FOR ANYTHING THAT YOU MAY HAVE DONE TO HURT THEM, YOU LIBERATE THEM FROM FEELINGS OF NEGATIVITY OR INFERIORITY. BY TAKING IT BACK, YOU ALLOW THEM TO BE HAPPY AND CONFIDENT ONCE MORE.

               TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN

                                 IS NEVER ENDING

                   DEVELOPING PROPER VALUES AND TEACHING PROPER CONDUCT TO YOUR CHILDREN IS A LIFELONG JOB. YOU CANNOT GIVE A SINGLE LECTURE ON TRUTHFULNESS AND COMPASSION AND THEN FORGET ABOUT IT. YOU MUST REPEAT THE LESSON BY DISCUSSION AND EXAMPLE OVER AND OVER, YEAR AFTER YEAR, ALL THE TIME WHILE YOUR CHILDREN ARE WITH YOU.

                 IN A LETTER TO MISS MANNERS, A PARENT ASKED, "HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO TEACH MY CHILDREN TABLE MANNERS? NO MATTER WHAT I SAY, IT SEEMS THAT MY CHILDREN STILL EAT IN AN UNMANNERD AND DISORGANIZED WAY". MISS MANNERS RESPONDED BY SAYING, "BE PATIENT. IT TAKES ABOUT FIFTEEN YEARS OF CONTINUAL REPETITION TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TABLE MANNERS. AND EVEN THEN, THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES THAT YOUR INSTRUCTION WILL BE SUCCESSFUL".

                                 BE THEIR ROLE MODEL

                   OF COURSE, IF YOU ANT CHILDREN TO BEHAVE IN A CERTAIN WAY, YOU MUST MODEL THAT METHOD OF BEHAVIOR CONTINUALLY, YEAR AFTER YEAR. IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO DRESS PROPERLY, YOU MUST DRESS PROPERLY. IF YOU WANT GROOM YOURSELF PROPERLY AS WELL. IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO BE ORGANIZED AND EFFICIENT, YOU MUST SHOW THEM THE WAY BY BEING ORGANIZED AND EFFICIENT YOURSELF.

                 REMEMBER EACH DAY THAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE GOING TO BEHAVE THE WAY THAT YOU BEHAVE FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. WHEN YOU THINK LIKE THIS, IT FORCES YOU TO PRACTICE HIGHER LEVELS OF SELF-DISCIPLINE AND SELF-CONTROL, KNOWING THAT THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR BEHAVIORS ARE GOING TO AFFECT YOUR CHILDREN'S CHANCES IN LIFE MANY YEARS FROM NOW.

                 THE DISCIPLINE OF RAISING CHILDREN SO THAT THEY GROW UP WITH HIGH SELF-ESTEEM, BEING POSITIVE AND CONFIDENT IN THEMSELVES AND THEIR OWN VALUE, IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS EVER DO. THE RESULTS OF YOUR CHILDREARING WILL LAST YOU ALL THE YEARS OF YOUR LIFE.

                                POINTS TO UNDERSTAND

                  1. WHAT TWO QUALITIES WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR CHILDREN TO IDENTIFY WITH YOU BY OBSERVING YOUR BEHAVIOR?

                  2. WHAT TWO QUALITIES WOULD YOU LIKE MOST TO INSTILL IN YOUR CHILDREN, AND HOW COULD YOU ACHIEVE THIS?

                  3. IF YOU WERE AN EXCELLENT ROLE MODEL FOR YOUR CHILDREN, HOW WOULD YOUR BEHAVIOR BE DIFFERENT , STARTING TODAY?

                  4. WHAT MISTAKES HAVE YOUR CHILDREN MADE THAT YOU SHOULD FORGIVE AND FORGET ABOUT, STARTING IMMEDIATELY?

                   5. WHAT ACTIONS ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE IMMEDIATELY TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN?

                   6. WHAT ACTIONS COULD YOU TAKE TO INSTILL THE QUALITY OF TRUTHFULNESS IN YOUR CHILDREN?

                    7. HOW COULD YOU ENCOURAGE AND REWARD YOUR CHILDREN SO THAT THEY PRACTICE GREATER SELF-DISCIPLINE, SELF-CONTROL, AND SELF-MASTERY?