SELF DISCOVERY

 

                              

                                                FINDING OURSELVES

                      TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE, YOU MUST GO ON A JOURNEY OF                                  SELF- DISCOVERY.

              SOMETIMES THE WORRIOR FEELS AS IF HE WERE LIVING TWO

              LIVES AT ONCE... THERE IS A BRIDGE THAT LINKS WHAT I DO WITH WHAT 

              I WOULD LIKE TO DO, HE THINKS. SLOWLY, HIS DREAMS TAKE OVER HIS        

              EVERYDAY LIFE, AND THEN HE REALIZES THAT HE IS READY FOR THE THING 

              HE ALWAYS WANTED. THEN ALL THAT IS NEEDED IS A LITTLE DARING, AND 

              HIS TWO LIVES BECOME ONE.

                                                                                                                      ---- PAULO COELHO

                                           UNDERSTANDING OURSELVES

                  WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND OURSELVES TO BE ABLE TO COMPETE WITH OURSELVES. WHAT ARE OUR TENDENCIES? WHAT DO WE LIKE? WHAT DO WE NOT LIKE? WHERE DO WE WANT TO BE IN THE FUTURE? THESE ARE ONLY A FEW PRELIMINARY QUESTIONS WE NEED TO ANSWER TO SUCCEED. AND THIS PROCESS OF INQUIRY BEGINS OUR JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY.

                WE KNOW BY NOW THAT GIVING AND RECEIVING GIFTS CAN STRENGTHEN OUR RELATIONSHIPS. ONE STORY ABOUT GIVING GIFTS WHICH I FIND HILARIOUS IS ABOUT A COUPLE ON THEIR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. A WOMAN TOLD HER HUSBAND AS SHE WISHED HIM, I JUST DREAMT THAT YOU GAVE ME A BEAUTIFUL DIAMOND NECKLACE. WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS? SHE ASKED HIM. YOU'LL KNOW TONIGHT, HE SAID WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE. HER EYES LIT UP IN ANTICIPATION. THAT EVENING THE HUSBAND CAME HOME WITH A BEAUTIFULLY WRAPPED PRESENT AND GAVE IT TO HIS WIFE. COULD IT BE WHAT I DREAM OF? SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF. DELIGHTED, SHE OPENED IT, ONLY TO FIND A BOOK ENTITLED THE MEANING OF DREAMS!

 

                    I USED TO ALWAYS WONDER WHY ONE WOULD PUT IN SO MUCH EFFORT USING FANCY PAPER, BOWS AND RIBBONS TO WRAP A GIFT. WHY CAN WE NOT JUST GIVE THE GIFT UPFRONT TO THE PERSON WHOM WE WANT TO EXPRESS OUR LOVE FOR? I CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT IF WE OFFER A GIFT TO SOMEONE WITHOUT WRAPPING IT, THERE IS NO ELEMENT OF EXCITEMENT INVOLVED. CONCEALING A GIFT CREATES SUSPENSE, AND WHEN IT IS OPENED THERE IS EXCITEMENT AND THUS GREAT JOY. NOT ONLY DOES THE PERSON WHO RECEIVES THE GIFT FEEL HAPPY BUT SP DOES THE ONE WHO GIVES IT.

                  IN THE SAME WAY, EVERYONE HAS BEEN GIFTED WITH SPECIAL TALENTS AN SKILLS. EVERY INDIVIDUAL HAS SOMETHING UNIQUE IN THEM. IF GOD WERE TO REVEAL THAT TALENT TO US STRAIGHT AWAY, FROM THE VERY DAY WE WERE BORN, THERE WOULD BE NO EXCITEMENT IN OUR JOURNEY. GOD COVERS OUR TALENT, SKILLS AND POTENTIALLY ONLY SO THAT WE HAVE THE CHANCE TO DISCOVER IT. AND IN THE PROCESS OF DOING SO, IN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT WE WANT TO DO WITH OUR LIVES, THERE IS A TREMENDOUS SENSE OF SATISFACTION. SELF-DISCOVERY IS NOT A ONE-TIME EVENT BUT AN ONGOING EVOLUTION, AND US LIFE GOES ON WE DISCOVER  HOW MUCH WE ARE CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING.

                    HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED PASS THE PARCEL AS A CHILD? A CLASSIC AT BIRTHDAY PARTIES, THE GAME IS CENTERED AROUND A PRIZE WRAPPED UP IN A LARGE NUMBER OF GIFT WRAPPERS. BETWEEN EACH LAYER OF WRAPPING THERE IS A SMALLER GIFT. AS THE MUSIC STARTS PLAYING, THE PARCEL IS PASSED AROUND A GROUP OF PEOPLE, IN ANTICIPATION FOR THE MUSIC TO STOP. WHEN IT DOES, THE PERSON WHO NOW HAS THE PARCEL IN THEIR HAND REMOVES ONE LAYER OF WRAPPING PAPER AND CLAIMS THE SMALL PRIZE. THE SAME PROCESS CONTINUES UNTIL THE PENULTIMATE WRAPPER, WHEN ALL THE SMALL PRIZES ARE GONE AND FINALLY THE MAIN PRIZE IS REVEALED TO THE ONE WHO HOLDS AND UNWRAPS THE LAST LAYER.

                NOW, WHAT HAS THIS CHILDREN'S GAME GOT TO DO WITH UNDERSTANDING OURSELVES? WE NEED TO UNWRAP MULTIPLE LAYERS BEFORE WE CAN ACTUALLY DISCOVER OUR TRUE POTENTIAL. THE FURTHER WE DELVE TOWARDS REALIZING OUR POTENTIAL, THE MORE LAYERS WE START TO UNCOVER, AND WITH EVERY LAYER WE COME ACROSS SMALLER GIFTS THAT WE WERE HIDDEN WITHIN US. WE DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT TO EXPERIENCE HAPPINESS UNTILL ALL THE LAYERS ARE TAKEN OFF AND THE LARGE GIFT - OUR TRUE POTENTIAL - IS REVEALED TO US. THE JOURNEY ITSELF IS VERY EXCITING AND BRINGS AND BRINGS DEEP SATISFACTION. WHEN I THINK ABOUT THIS, IT REMINDS ME ABOUT THE STORY OF MY YOUNG FRIEND SAIRAJ.

                 SUMMARY

                 * WE SHOULD UNDERSTAND OURSELVES TO KNOW WHAT IS MEANINGFUL TO US, AND WHAT WE WANT TO DEVOTE OUR TIME TO. THIS CAN BE DONE BY UNDERSTANDING OUR PURPOSE, WHICH TAKES DEDICATION AND PATIENCE. 

              

                * DISCOVERING OUR PURPOSE IS EXCITING, JUST AS OPENING A GIFT GIVES THE FEELING OF ANTICIPATION AND JOY. REACHING OUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS A JOURNEY, NOT AN EVENT.

                * THE JAPANESE HAVE A MODEL  CALLED IKIGAI OR A "REASON TO LIVE", WHICH IS COMPOSED OF FOUR TRAITS WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND. WHAT DOES THE WORLD NEED? WHAT CAN WE BE PAID FOR? SAIRAJ AND HIS FAMILY DISCOVERED THAT FOR HIM EARLY ON HIS LIFE.

                * IF WE ARE OLDER AND HAVE NOT YET FIGURED OUT OUR PURPOSE, WE CAN FOLLOW THE PRINCIPLE, LOVE WHAT WE HAVE TO DO AND DO WHAT WE LOVE TO DO.

                        NOTE : TO HELP YOU FIND YOUR IKIGA, YOU CAN COMPLETE AN EXERCISE IN APPENDIX 2 (IKIGAI WORKSHEET).

                                                                 POINTS 

                 * GOOD CHARACTRE HAS THE ABILITY TO CHANGE LIVES. IT HAS TO DO WITH OUR ACTIONS, NOT OUR WORDS. THE STORY ABOUT THE RATHAYATRA IN MUMBAI IS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THIS.

             

               * THE PRINCIPLES OF DEVELOPING CHARACTER ARE:

                         👀 VICHAAR : THE LIFE PHILOSOPHY WE FOLLOW. WE MUST LEARN                                            FROM IT.

                         👀 AACHAAR : THE GOOD CONDUCT THAT IS DISPLAYED TO THE                                           WORLD THROUGH THOSE ACTIONS. WE MUST PRACTICE IT.

                        👀 PRACHAAR : THE GOOD CONDUCT THAT IS DISPLAYED TO THE                                         WORLD THROUGH THOSE ACTIONS. WE MUST PRACTISE IT.

                  * WHAT GREAT MEN DO, COMMON MEN FOLLOW.

                                                                              👀👀👀

 

 

                        

THE JOURNEY BEGINS

   

                    

                           THE JOURNEY BEGINS WHEN YOU START HEAR

 

                   HAVING A FRIEND TO LISTEN TO YOUR PROBLEMS AND DISCUSS THEM

                   WITH YOU IN THE BEGINNING OF FINDING A SOLUTION.

      

        THE JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES BEGINS WITH ONE STEP

                                                                                                                ---- LAO TZU

                  WHAT DO WE DO WHEN PEOPLE WE ARE CLOSE TO ARE SHARING THEIR WORRIES WITH US? I WANTED TO SAY SO MUCH AS HARRY SPOKE OF HIS INNER TURMOIL, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED MY TRAINING AS A MONK, OUR SILENT PRESENCE CAN BE MORE POWERFUL THAN A MILLION EMPTY WORDS. WE ALL HAVE TWO EARS AND ONE MOUTH, THE AMOUNT WE LISTEN AND THE AMOUNT WE SPEAK SHOULD BE DONE PROPORTIONATELY. RARELY DO PEOPLE WANT AN ACTIVE SOLUTION TO THEIR PROBLEMS BEFORE THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGHLY HEARD AND UNDERSTOOD.

                 I REMEMBERED THE EARLY DAYS WHEN PEOPLE USED TO COME AND CONFIDE IN ME. I WAS A YOUNG, EAGER, FRESH-FACED MONK THEN, KEEN TO SAVE THE WORLD WITH MY NEWFOUND SENSE OF PURPOSE. IN MY IMMATURITY, I WOULD POUNCE ON THE SOLUTION AS SOON AS IT CAME TO ME, NOT UNDERSTANDING THAT PEOPLE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU KNOW UNLESS THEY KNOW YOU CARE. INFACT, THE ANSWER TO ALL PROBLEMS RELATED TO THE HUMAN CONDITION SELDOM EXCLUDES A CONSCIOUS, COMPASSIONATE EAR. THE ATTITUDE OF LISTENING ATTENTIVELY IS EQUALLY TO THE SOLUTIONS WE MAY PRESENT. I WAS NOT GOING TO MAKE THAT MISTAKE THIS TIME WITH HARRY.

                I WAS GLAD THAT THE TRAFFIC WAS CLEARING UP, AND SO WERE MY THOUGHTS. A FEW MOMENTS OF SILENCE PASSED BEFORE I SPOKE, HARRY, I AM SO SORRY YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THIS. THANK YOU FOR TRUSTING ME AND SHARING THIS. EVEN WHEN YOU JUST SPEAK TO SOMEONE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS, DO YOU NOT FEEL LIGHTER? DO YOU NOT FEEL LIGHTER? DO YOU NOT FEEL HOPE THAT THINGS WILL GET BETTER?.

 

                  HARRY LOOKED AT ME, UNCONVINCED,  I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS. BUT I DON'T SEE A WAY OUT WITHOUT RUINING MY LIFE COMPLETELY. I 'M NEARLY FORTY YEARS OLD, IT'S TOO LATE TO MAKE ANY DRAMATIC CHANGES. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

                WHAT SHOULD I DO ARE THE FOUR WORDS ANY LIFE COACK HATES, I THOUGHT. THIS IS BECAUSE ANY DIRECT ADVICE GIVEN BY THEM TURNS INTO A "MAGIC SPELL " THAT IF FOLLOWED WILL PROVIDE GUARANTEED RESULTS. BECAUSE GAUR GOPAL DAS SAID SO. BUT THAT IS NOT THE CASE. FOLLOWING BLINDLY LIKE SHEEP CAN LEAD US ASTRAY. MAKING CHOICES IN LIFE IS LIKE BUYING SOMETHING AT A SHOPPING MALL. THE SALES ASSITANT MAY SHOWS US ALL THE PRODUCTS AVAILABLE, TELLING US THE PROS AND CONES OF EACH OF THEM, BUT WE MUST MAKE THE CHOICE IN THE END. THE FINAL DECISION IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY.

                I M NOT YOUR GURU, I AM, YOUR FRIEND, " I ASSERTED, WE MUST MAKE OUR OWN DECISIONS, AND I CAN ONLY HELP YOU WITHIN MY CAPACITY. I DO NOT KNOW IT ALL, NOR  DO I CLAIM TO, BUT FROM MY EXPERIENCE OF BEINGA FRIEND TO THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. MANY PEOPLE ARE GOING THOUGH SIMILAR STRUGGLES AS YOU. HARRY SIGHED AGAIN, BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A SIGH OF RELIEF, AS WE CREPT THROUGH THE MUMBAI TRAFFIC.

               DO YOU SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE STUCK IN THIS TRAFFIC JAM? I ASKED. THEY ARE ALL KIKE US. THEY MAY BE IN DIFFERENT CARS, BUT THEY ARE ALL STUCK. LOOK AROUND YOU, ONE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN THERE IS DRIVING A CAB WITH BRITISH TOURISTS IN THE BACK SEAT, THAT CAB DRIVER OVER THERE JAMMING TO OLD BOLLYWOOD CLASSICS ON THE RADIO AND EVEN THAT ROLLS-ROYCE IN THE DISTANCE. HARRY WINCED AT THE SIGHT OF A CAR BETTER THAN HIS. WE ALL HAVE THREE THINGS IN COMMON. WE ARE ALL STUCK, WE ALL HAVE A JOURNEY TO COMPLETE, AND WE ALL HAVE DESTINATION. NOW IMAGINE THE TRAFFIC JAM ALL CLEARED UP. WE WOULD ALL BE FREE TO COMPLETE OUR JOURNEYS IN PEACE AND REACH THE DESTINATION THAT WE CHOOSE'. 

                         WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH MY SITUATION THOUGH?

                                                              HARRY  RETORTED.

               THERE IS A TRAFFIC JAM WITHOUT OUR MINDS, HARRY. AND THAT TRAFFIC JAM IS STOPPING EACH ONE OF US FROM REACHING OUR TRUE POTENTIAL. IMAGINE IF WE KNEW HOW TO CLEAR THIS DISCRUPTION. NO FUMES OF INSECURITY CAUSING US TO COUGH, NO ONE HONKING AT US, DISTRACTING US FROM WHAT'S  IMPORTANT AND PLENTY OF FUEL TO SUSTAIN US SO THAT WE CAN LIVE A LIFE WORTH LIVING.

                      

                       THERE WERE NO TEARS IN HARRY'S EYES. I COULD ONLY

                                                            DETECT INTEREST.

              THE PROCESS TO CLEAR THE TRAFFIC WITHIN MIND STARTED TWENTY-TWO YEARS AGO. I REGRET THE PAIN I CAUSED MY PARENTS, BUT AT THAT TIME I RAN AWAY FROM HOME TO BECOME A MONK. IT WAS THEN THAT I LEARNT ABOUT THE WHEELS OF LIFE. ALL OF THESE CARS AROUND YOU HAVE FOUR WHEELS EQUALLY WEIGHING DOWN ON THE AXLE. THE LOSS OF AIR IN ANY ONE OF THESE WHEELS DOWN ON THE AXLE. THE LOSS OF AIR IN ANY ONE OF THESE WHEELS CAN SLOW YOU DOWN IN REACHING YOUR DESTINATION, THE LOSS OF ONE CAN BE FATAL. THEREFORE, ITS IMPERATIVE THAT YOUR WHEELS ARE REGULARLY CHECKED AND MAINTAINED. SIMILARLY, THERE ARE FOUR PRINCIPLES THAT FORM THE FOUNDATION OF  HAPPY LIFE. THEY AREN'T BASED ON ANY LABEL WE PLACE ON OURSELVES AND APPLY TO ALL, WHETHER WE'RE MONKS OR MARRIED, YOUNG OR OLD, RICH OR POOR, ATHEIST OR RELIGIOUS. THEY ARE NOT DEPENDENT ON NATIONALITY, RACE, GENDER OR PROFESSION EITHER.

               HARRY LOOKED ME STRAIGHT IN THE YES AS THE CAR HALTED AGAIN IN TRAFFIC. I'M READY TO LEARN THEM. IN FACT, I'YE BEEN READY SINCE I WAS EIGHTEEN.

                BEHIND THE SMILES, EVERYONE IS GOING THROUGH PERSONAL

                STRUGGLES WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

                 

            AS I HAVE SAID, THE FIRST THING IS TO BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE AN IMPACT ON SOCIETY IF YOU HAVE HAVE NOT CHANGED YOURSELF.. GREAT PEACEMAKERS ARE ALL PEOPLE OF INTEGRITY, OF HONESTY, BUT HUMILITY.

                                                                                                             --- NELSON MANDELA

                    SUMMARY

            * FORGIVENESS IS A DEEP AND OFTEN OBSCURE VALUE TO UNDERSTAND.

         

           * THE PRINCIPLES WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT FORGIVENESS ARE 

                      1. LOOK BEYOND THE SITUATION: IF WE ARE HUNT BY SOMEONE'S WORDS, TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY THEY SPOKE THEM. WHEN PEOPLE ACT HARSHLY TOWARDS US, MOST OF THE TIME THEY ARE SUFFERING TOO. THIS IS EMPATHY.

                    2. SEPERATE THE EPISODE FROM THE PERSON. RATHER THAN BEING AFFECTED BY THE EMOTION OF GUILT BY SAYING, I AM WRONG, OR ANGER BY SAYING, YOU ARE WRONG, WE SHOULD SEPARATE THE I OR THE YOU AND DEAL WITH THE WRONG.

                    3. HIGHER PURPOSE: CAN WE FORGIVE BASED ON A HIGHR PRINCIPLE? FOR EXAMPLE, IN MY STORY, THE HUSBAND FORGAVE THE WIFE BECAUSE HE LOVED HER,AND THEY HAD A DUTY TO THEIR COMMUNITY AND SON. IF CHOSEN, THIS APPROACH TAKES SUPPORT AND TIME AND THEY HAD A DUTY TO THEIR COMMUNITY AND SON.

                  4. JUTICE : ON A PERSONAL LEVEL, WE CAN FORGIVE THE PERSON WHO MAY HAVE WRONGED US, BUT ON A SOCIETAL LEVEL, THERE SHOULD BE STRICT JUSTICE TO CREATE AN ORDERLY SOCIETY. NO ONE SHOULD BE ABLE TO BREAK THE LAW AND GET AWAY WITH IN THE NAME OF FORGIVENESS.

                      NOTE : TO HELP YOU REFLECT ON FORGIVING SOMEONE IN YOUR OWN LIFE, PLEASE COMPLETE THE EXERCISE IN APPENDIX 1 (FORGIVENESS WORKSHEET).

                                                                                 👀👀👀

WHY WORRY

 

                                                          DONT WORRY

                   WHAT WE SEE AS BAD AT ONE POINT IN TIME CAN TURN OUT TO BE GOOD FOR US, AND WHAT WE SEE AS GOOD AT ANOTHER POINT IN TIME CAN TURN OUT TO BE BAD FOR US. MOST THINGS IN LIFE ARE BEYOND OUR CONTROL, WE SHOULD NOT JUDGE ANY SITUATION BY ITS FACE VALUE. A VIDEO THAT I THOUGHT WOULD DISRUPT MY LIFE AS I KNEW IT TURNED OUT TO BE THE GREATEST BLESSING. IT ALLOWED ME TO KICK-START MY JOURNEY TO BE ABLE TO TRY TO HELP INSPIRE MILLIONS ACROSS THE GLOBE THROUGH MY SOCIAL-MEDIA PRESENCE AND EVEN BROUGHT ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO CONVEY MY MESSAGE THROUGH THIS CHAPTER.

                   I NOTICED THAT HARRY LOOKED RELIEVED WHEN I TALKED ABOUT THIS, I MEDITATED TO HOW WHEN WE HEAR THINGS THAT ARE MEANINGFUL, OUT DOUBTS ARE DISPELLED. THE EASIEAST WAY TO BRING CLARITY TO OUR LIFE IS TO SEEK GUIDANCE FROM PEOPLE WHO POSSESS CLARITY.

                SPIRITUAL STRENGTH.. HE BROUGHT UP. HIS QUESTIONS WERE NOT FINISHED. TO GET TO THAT LEVEL OF DETACHMENT OR STATE OF GRATITUDE, YOU NEED WHAT YOU CALLED SPIRITUAL  STRENGTH. HOW DO YOU GET THAT? I WAS SURPRISED AT HOW ATTENTIVELY HE HAD BEEN LISTENING EVEN AS HE DROVE. WHEN WE ARE DESPERATE, OUR SENSES BECOME HEIGHTNED AND WE BECOME MORE ATTENTION.

               SOMETIMES WHEN WE GET ENGROSSED IN A PROBLEM, WE FEEL TRAPPED IN OUR OWN MINDS, IN THAT STATE, WE CONSTANTLY REGURGITATE OUR ISSUES,  CAUSING US A LOT OF EMOTIONAL PAIN. A SPIRITUAL PROCESS GIVES US THE ABILITY TO COME OUT OF THIS MENTAL LOOP AND HELPS TRANSFORM THE GREATEST DIFFICULTIES INTO OPPORTUNITIES.

                      SUMMARY

                   * SOME THINGS IN LIFE ARE BEYOD OUR CONTROL, WHEN ARE IN THAT SITUATION, WE FEEL OVERWHELMED AS WE TRY EVERYTHING IN OUR POWER TO CONTROL IT. BUT THAT IS USELESS!.

                 * THE FOUNDERS OF WHATSAPP DID NOT GET JOBS AT TWITTER AND FACEBOOK WHEN THEY APPLIED, WHICH WORKED OUT IN THEIR FAVOUR IN THE FURTHER, WHICH WORKED OUT IN THEIR FAVOUR IN THE FUTURE. HENCE, WHAT WE SEE AS BAD AT ONE POINT IN TIME CAN TURN OUT TO BE THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO US.

              * JUST AS I COULD NOT CONTROL THE VIRALITY OF MY OUT-OF-CONTEXT' VIDEO, SIMILARLY THERE ARE MANY SITUATION IN LIFE THAT ARE OUT OF OUR CONTROL.

             * THINK, IS THIS IN MY CONTROL? IF YES, YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. IF NO, THEN YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. THEREFORE, IN BOTH CIRCUMSTANCES, WHY WORRY?

              WHEN THINGS ARE BEYOND YOUR CONTROL AND THERE IS NOTHING 

              YOU CAN DO, WHY WORRY?

              WORRY NEVER ROBS TOMORROW OF ITS SORROW, IT ONLY SAPS

              TODAY OF ITS JOY.

                                                                                                  ---- LEO BUSCAGLIA

                                                          PRESS PAUSE

                   ❤  STOP AND REFLECT ON YOUR LIFE REGULARLY, PRESSING THE PAUSE BUTTON TO PRACTISE GRATITUDE IS THE WAY TO MAKE IT A CONSTANT IN YOUR LIFE.

                     

                      I LOVE THOSE WHO CAN SMILE IN TROUBLE, WHO CAN GATHER 

                      STRENGTH FROM DISTRESS, AND GROW BRAVE BY REFLECTION. TIS

                      THE BUSINESS OF LITTLE MINDS TO SHRINK, BUT THEY WHOSE

                       HEART IS FIRM, AND WHOSE CONSCIENCE APPROVES THEIR 

                       CONDUCT, WILL PURSUE THEIR PRINCIPLES UNTO DEATH.

                                                                                                                   ---- LEONARDO DA VINCI

 

                                                           👀    POINTS   👀

                   * WE MUST LEARN HOW TO PRESS PAUSE AND REFLECT ON WHAT WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR.  IT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGHT TO SAY THAT WE ARE TOO BUSY TO BE GRATEFUL.

 

                  * IF WE DO NOT PRESS PAUSE, HOW MANY BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS OF OUR LIFE ARE WE MISSING?

                 * THE WAYS TO START PRACTISING GRATITUDE ARE TO RECOGNISE THE GOOD THAT HAS BEEN DONE UNTO US AND SAY "THANK YOU", TO REMEMBER THE GOOD AND MEAN IT, AND TO RECIPROCATE THROUGH ACTIONS OF GIVING BACK AND LIVE BY THE SAME VALUES.

                 * GRATITUDE IS NOT MERELY AN EMOTIONS, IT IS A WAY OF LIFE WHICH CAN BE LEARNT AND PRACTISED.  WE MUST PRIORITIZE THE TIME TO PRACTISE GRATITUDE, AND ONE OF THE MANY WAYS TO DO IT IS BY WRITING A GRATITUDE LOG DAILY.

                                    GROWING THROUGH GRATITUDE

                    

                        WE MUST FIND POSITIVELY IN THE BLEAKEST SITUATIONS AND LIVE                            BY THE PRINCIPLE OF GRATITUDE.

 

                WE LEARNED ABOUT GRATITUDE AND HUMANITY - THAT SO MANY PEOPLE                  HAD A HAND IN OUR SUCCESS, FROM THE TEACHES WHO  INSPIRED US TO THE                JANITORS WHO KEPT OUR SCHOOL CLEAN... AND WE WERE TAUGHT TO VALUE                EVERYONE'S CONTRIBUTION AND TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT.

                                                                                                            --- MICHELLE OBARNA

  

                                                   SEE THE POSITIVE

                    WE ALL BOIL AT DIFFERENT DEGRESS. SOME OF US HAVE TEMPERAMENTS LIKE THE INDIA SUMMER - HOT, STICKY AND EASILY IRRITABLE. YET SOME CAN REMAIN LEVEL-HEADED IN THE WORST OF CALAMITIES, AND AS A MONK, I WAS TAUGHT TO CONTROL MY EMOTIONS. SO NATURALLY, I ASSUMED THAT I WAS IN THE LATTER LEVEL-HEADED CATEGORY. THAT WAS UNTIL THE DAY I REALIZED I WASN'T THERE YET.

             👀    A POEN COMPOSED BY JOHNSON, OATMAN, JR, WHICH WE HAD SUNG IN OUR PRIMARY SCHOOL, SUMMARIZES BY MESSAGE ELOQUENTLY:

                WHEN UPON LIFE'S BILLOWS YOU ARE TEMPEST-TOSSED,

                WHEN YOU ARE DISCOURAGED, THINKING ALL IS LOST,

                COUNT YOUR MANY BLESSINGS, NAME THEM ONE BY ONE,

                AND IT WILL SURPRISE YOU WHAT YOU LORD HAS DONE.

                       ❤  SO GRATITUDE IS THE KEY TO REMAINING POSITIVE AND HAPPY?

                     SUMMARY

                 * WE MUST HAVE A POSITIVE STATE OF MIND WHEN DEALING WITH PROBLEMS. THINK, IS THER ANYTHING POSITIVE ABOUT THIS SITUATION IAM IN ?

                * BEING POSITIVE DOES NOT MEAN WE NEGLECT THE NEGATIVE. WE MUST CONSTRUCTIVELY DEAL WITH NEGATIVE SITUATIONS WHILST SIMULTANEOUSLY FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE.

               * JUST LIKE OUR TONGUE CAN BE OBSESSED WITH SOMETHING STUCK IN OUR TEECH, OUR MIND HAS A DEFAULT SETTING TO BE OBSESSED ABOUT THE NEGATIVE.

              * GRATITUDE IS A STATE OF BEING THAT ALLOWS US TO SEE THE POSITIVE. IT COMES FROM REALIZING THAT THERE IS GOOD IN THE WORLD, THAT SOME OF THAT GOOD IS WITH US AND THAT THOSE GOOD THINGS ARE COMING FROM AN EXTERNAL REALITY. THAT STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS IMBIBES US WITH POSITIVITY.

               * EVEN IN TIMES OF DIFFICULTY AND SORROW, WE CAN FEEL INNER STRENGTH, WHEN WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR THE SUPPORT OF CARING FRIEND AND FAMILY.

                                                                          👀👀👀

                                      

                                

SPIRITUAL PRACTICE FOR HAPPINESS

 

                                THE FOUNDATION OF OUR HAPPINESS

                             

                    SPIRITUAL PRACTICEIS THE FOUNDATION OF OUR HAPPINESS. IT GUIDES US IN TIMES OF TURMOIL AND GROUNDS US IN TIMES OF JOY.

                  MEDITATION CAN HELP US EMBRACE OUR WORRIES, OUR FEAR, OUR ANGER,                         AND THAT IS VERY HEALING. WE LET  OUR WON NATURAL CAPACITY OF                                     HEALING DO THE WORK.

                                                                                 --- THICK NHAT HANH

           SPIRITUALLITY IS BASED ON THE PREMISE THAT WE LIVE IN THIS WORLD, BUT WE ARE NOT FROM IT. MANY OF OUR PROBLEMS LIE IN NOT UNDERSTANDING OUR FUNDAMENTAL IDENTITY, WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS HAVING SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE, WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING HUMAN EXPERIENCES, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO REALIZE THIS PRINCIPLE THEORETICALLY. WE CAN ATTEND HUNDREDS OF LECTURES AND READ VOLUMES OF BOOKS, BUT THIS IS INADEQUATE WITHOUT US COMMITTING TO A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE, OR SADHANA AS IT IS KNOWN IN SANSKRIT.

                 THE SIMPLEST WAY TO EXPLAIN SPRIITUAL PRACTICE IS TO DESCRIBE THE HIERARCHY OF CONNECTIONS. AT ANY MOMENT, WE CAN BE MAKING THREE KINDS OF CONNECTIONS. 

                  OUTSIDE OURSELVES. THE MAJORITY OF OUR TIME IS SPENT IN CONNECTING WITH THE WORLD- NETWORKING, RELATIONSHIPS, OUR WORK. IT'S ALL CRUCIAL, BUT CAN US ASTRAY IF WE HAVE NO INNER DIRECTION. THE FEAR OF MISSING OUR, THINKING THAT THE GRASS IS GREENER ELSEWHERE, AND LIVING A LIFE OUT OF BALANCE ARE ALL SYMPTOMS OF HAVING INCORRECTLY PRIORITIZED HAPPINESS OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES.

                  INSIDE OURSELVES. BEYOND OUR EVERYDAY LIVES, MANY LOOK FOR SALACE WITHIN. PEOPLE STRUGGLING WITH LIFE, THOSE TRYING TO WORK ON THEMSELVES TO CONQUER THE EXTERNAL WORLD, THOSE CURIOUS ABOUT THEIR INNER WORLD, AND OCCASIONALLY, A FEW OF THOSE SEEKING THE TRUTH - THESE ARE THE TYPES OF PEOPLE WHO WILL TAKE THE JOURNEY WITHIN.

                            

                ABOVE OURSELVES. THOSE SIMPLY VOYAGING WITHIN CAN GET FRUSTRATED BY THEIR LACK OF PROGRESS OR DIRECTION. THEY CAN FEEL AS THOUGH  THEY'RE ON A SHIP TRAVELLING A 70 KNOTS PER HOUR, BUT WITHOUT A COMPASS. CONNECTING ABOVE OURSELVES MEANS RE-ESTABLISHING OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, OR SOMETHING HIGHEST THAT OURSELVES. GOD IS ONE, AND IS IDENDIFIED DIFFERENTLY ACROSS DIFFERENT CULTURES. THEREFORE, IT IS NOT ABOUT CONNECTING TO MY GOD OR YOUR GOD, IT IS ABOUT CONNECTING TO OUR GOD. WHEN THIS HAPPENS, IT IS AS IF A LIGHT BULB IS GETTING CONNECTED TO AN ENTIRE POWERHOUSE. A BULB ON ITS OWN IS JUST A PIECE OF GLASS WITH A TUNGSTEN FILAMENT, IT NEEDS AN ELECTRICAL CHARGE TO EXPERIENCE LIGHT AND GIVE LIGHT TO OTHERS. SIMILARLY IT IS OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMETHING HIGHER THAN OURSELVES THAT CAN GIVE US LOVE AND ALLOW US TO GIVE LOVE TO OTHERS.

                   HARRY LISTENED HAS I EXPLAINED FURTHER, JUST AS THERE ARE MANY PATHS TO GET TO OUR DESTINATION, THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF CONNECTING TO GOD THAT TRASCEND RELIGIOUS AND SECTARIAN BOUNDARIES. MANY PEOPLE PRACTISE PRAYER, A SIMPLE YET DEEPLY EFFECTIVE METHOD TO BECOME SELF-RELAIZED. I DO PRACTISE PRAYER, BUT MY PREFERED METHOD FOR DEVELOPING SPIRITUAL STRENGTH IS THROUGH  MEDITATION.

                  OUT OF THE MANY TYPES OF MEDITATION, I PRACTICE MANTRA MEDITATION. THIS MEANS I SPEND SOME TIME DAILY FOCUSING MY MIND ON SACRED SOUNDS, CHANTING THE NAME OF GOD, BY WHICH WE CAN FREE OURSELVES OF ANXIETY. MODERN SCIENCE REGOCNIZES THE HUGE BENEFITS OF MEDITATION. RELIEVING US OF STRESS, GIVING US A SENSE OF PURPOSE, THUS ENABLING US TO BECOME MORE CREATIVE, AMONGST MANY OTHER BENEFITS. HOWEVER, ANCIENT EASTERN LITERATURE GIVES US DEEPER INSIGHT.

             MEDITATION IS LIKE A PLAN, IT FIRST TAKES YOU HIGH, THEN FAR AWAY AND THEN FURTHER AWAY IMPERCEPTIBLY. I SEE MEDITATION LIKE A PLAN BECAUSE WHEN YOU TAKE OFF, YOU IMMEDIATELY START GAINING ALTITUDE. WE EXPERIENCE WORRY AND ANXIETY IN LIFE BECAUSE WE TAKE THINGS OUT OF PERCEPTIVE. MEDITATION ENABLES US TO LOOK DOWN AT ALL OUR ANXIETIES, PROBLEMS AND WORRIES THROUGH A HIGHER VANTAGE-POINT, THUS GIVING US A GREAT SENSE OF PEACE AND CALMNESS.

               THE DEEPER EFFECT  IS THAT MEDITATION CARRIES US FAR.  IT COMPLETELY TRANSFORMS OUR CHARACTER, DEVELOPS THE BEST OF COMPLETELY TRANSFORMS OUR CHARACTER, DEVELOPS THE BEST OF QUALITIES WITHIN US AND ALLOWS US TO EXPERIENCE SELF-REALIZATION. THROUGH MEDITATION WE BECOME THE BEST VERSIONS OF OURSELVES. BUT THIS TAKES TIME AND IS OFTEN IMPERCEPTILE. FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU LOOK OUTSIDE THE WINDOW ON A PLANE IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE YOU ARE MOVING VERY FAST. BUT EIGHT HOURS LATER, YOU'RE LANDING HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD.

              MEDITATION BECOMES DIFFICULT BECAUSE OF OUR MIND. IT IS SAID THAT THE MIND IS LIKE A RESTLESS MONKEY, ALWAYS JUMPING FROM ONE THOUGHT TO ANOTHER. IT DOES NOT BECOME PEACEFUL JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY SO. IT NEEDS TO BE CONTROLLED. THEREFORE,  MEDITATION IS A DISCIPLINE THAT HELPS US CONTROL THE MIND. FOR EXAMPLE, THE TRAINS OF MUMBAI KEEP THE CITY'S ECONOMY MOVING. BUT WHAT KEEPS THEM TRAVELLING IS THE FACT THAT THEY ARE BOUND BY THE TRACKS, SCHEDULE AND DESTINATION. SIMILARLY, THE MIND WITHOUT BEING BOUND BY THE DISCIPLINE OF MEDITATION WILL NOT BE ABLE TO REACH ITS DESTINATION. SOME DAYS IT WILL FEEL LIKE MEDITATING, AND SOME DAYS IT WILL NOT.

              EVEN UNDERSTANDING THE CONCEPT OF MEDITATION TAKES TIME. I KNOW MANY EXECUTIVES AND CELEBRITIES PRACTISE IT, BUT I'VE NEVER FELT LIKE I HAVE THE TIME. HARRY INTERRUPTE. HE SEEMED TO BE FEELING OVERWHELEMED AT THE VARIETY OF CONCEPTS I HAD PRESENTED.

               PEOPLE WITH NO TIME TO SPARE NEED IT THE MOST, I CHUCKED I AM NOW ABLE TO PRACTICE MEDITATION FOR TWO HOURS DAY. IT WAS NOT LIKE THAT IN THE BEGINNING. I COULD COPE WITH ONLY TEN MINUTES A DAY WHEN I INITIALLY STARTED AND THAT DIDN'T SEEM SO DAUNTING.

                  HARRY NOODE, THEN ASKED, "AFTRE ALL THIS TIME, HAVE YOU NOTICED ANY CHANGES IN YOUR CHARACTER". 

                   I HAVE, QUIET HONESTLY, ONE DOESN'T HAVE TO WAIT TO SEE THE EFFECTS OF MEDITTION IN THE AFTERLIFE- WE CAN SEE THEM IN THIS LIFE IF WE PRACTICE IT DILIGENTLY ENOUGH AND UNDER THE RIGHT GUIDANCE.

                  HE SEEMED IMPRESSED WITH THAT ANSWER.

                  DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE IMPORTANT OF GRATITUDE EARLIER? I ASKED .

                  "SURE."

                  PEOPLE WHO MEDITATE WHO MEDITATE DEVELOPS A HABIT OF PRACTISING SINCERE GRATITUDE WHICH HELPS THEM IN ALL THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. IT IS A RELATIONSHIP-STRENGHTHENING  EMOTION "BECAUSE IT REQUIRES US TO SEE HOW WE'VE BEEN SUPPORTED AND AFFIRMED BY OTHER PEOPLE. 

                 HARRY BEGAN TO FIDGET WITH THE STEERING WHEEL AGAIN. WHAT ON YOUR MIND? I ASKED.

                I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MY WIFE AND I TREAT EACH OTHER'. HE SAID, READY TO TAKE OUR CONVERSATION FORWARD, AND I KNEW IT WAS TIME TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE SECOND WHEEL OF LIFE.

                   SUMMARY

                  * WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS HAVING SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE; WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING HUMAN EXPERIENCES, WE ARE NOT THIS BODY, WE ARE A SPIRITUAL BEING.

                 * WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THE HIERARCHY OF CONNECTIONS. ULTIMATELY, WE MUST CONNECT TO SOMETHING ABOVE OURSELVES SUCH AS GOD. THIS CAN GIVE US THE POWER TO SPREAD HAPPINESS AND JOY AROUND THE WORLD.

              * THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO CONNECT TO GOD. WE MAY HAVE OUR OWN, WHICH IS GREAT, AND WE SHOULD GO DEEPER INTO IT. ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHODS THAT HAS WORKED REALLY WELL FOR ME IS MANTRA MEDITATION.

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FORGIVENESS, FAMILY, AFFIRMATION

 

                                                                FAMILY

                            OUR JOURNEY OF SELFLESSNESS FROM AN ICE CREAM TO A CANDLE MUST START SOMEWHERE. OFTEN, PEOPLE CAN DISPLY SELFLESSNESS OUTSIDE THEIR HOME. PEOPLE MAY HELP OUT IN THEIR COMMUNITY, OR AT TEMPLES OR SCHOOLS, AND SOME MAY EVEN MAKE SURE THAT THEY GET A SELFIE TO ANNOUNCE TO THE WORLD THAT THEY HAVE HELPED. BUT AT HOME, THEY MAY NOT EXPRESS THE SAME SERVICE MENTALITY. I BELIEVE THAT SELFLESSNESS STARTS AT HOME, WITH THE ONES WE LOVE THE MOST. ARE WE DOING WHAT WE CAN TO HELP THEM? ARE WE THERE FOR THEM TO HELP THEM PHYSICALLY AS WELL AS EMOTIONALLY? RELATIONSHIPS AT HOME CAN WORK WELL ONLY IF ALL PARTIES HAVE LOW EXPECTATIONS OF EACH OTHER, BUT HIGHG EXPECTATIONS OF THEMSELVES OF EACH OTHER, BUT HIGH EXPECTATIONS OF THEMSELVES TO HELP THE OTHER.

                AT THIS MOMENT, HARRY WAS AN EXAMPLE OF SERVING THE ONE YOU LOVE. ANOTHER THOUGHT THE CAME TO MY MIND WAS OF LATA KHATE, WHOSE STORY OF SACRIFICE FOR HER HUSBAND DEEPLY TOUCHED MY HEART.

                                                      RUNNING MARATHONS

                 LATA BHAGAVAN KHARE WAS A SIXTY-FIVE-YEAR RESIDENT OF A SMALL VILLAGE LOCATED IN THE BUDHANA OF MAHARASHTRA. HER LIFE WAS SIMPLE. SHE AND HER HUSBAND WOULD GO DAILY TO A LANDOWNER'S FAM AND MAKE JUST ENOUGH TO SURVIVE, THEIR HOURSE WE SMALL, BUT THE FOOD THEY GOD FROM THE FARM FILLED THEIR STOMACHS.

              THE SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY THEY HAD SAVED THOUGHOUT THEIR LIVES WAS SPENT ON GETTING THEIR THREE DAUGHTER MARRIED. NOW THAT THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES WERE COMPLETE,  THEY ENJOYED THE SIMPLE PLEASURES OF LIFE AND EACH OTHER'S COMPANY THEY WERE INSEPERABLE AND UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER COMPLETELY. THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS A TESTAMENT OF THE PRINCIPLE THAT YOU DID NOT NEED LUXURY TO BE HAPPY.

           SUMMARY :

              * ON ONE LEVEL, WE PRACTISE SELFLESSNESS IN HELPING OUR FAMILY. OUR DAY-TO -DAY SACRIFICES TO  MAINTAIN OUR FAMILY RELATIONS ARE ACTS OF SELFLESSNESS. WE DO NOT NECESSARILY HAVE TO RUN MARATHONS LIKE LATA KHARE TO DISPLAY OUR DEVOTION TO THOSE WE LOVE.

              * OUR CIRCLE OF SELFLESSNESS SHOULD NOT END WITH OUR FAMILY. WE SHOULD HELP THOSE OUTSIDE OF OUR IMMEDIATE CARE AND AFFECTION TOO.

                                                           FORGIVENESS 

 

                      1. IDENTIFY THE CAUSE

              THINK OF A PERSON YOU WANT TO FORGIVE , AND WHAT YOU WANT TO FORGIVE THEM FOR.

              NOW SIT BACK AND RELAX. BREATHE IN, HOLD YOUR BREATHE FOR A FEW SECONDS, AND BREATHE OUT. THIS EXERCISE MAY RELEASE A LOT OF EMOTION- LET IT ALL COME NATURALLY.

                          2. LOOK AT THE SITUATION FROM THE OTHER 

                                              PERSON'S PERSPECTIVE

             PUT YOURSELF IN THE OTHER PERSON'S SHOES. TRY TO THINK ABOUT THE SITUATION AND UNDERSTOOD WHY THEY HAVE TREATED YOU IN THIS WAY. IT IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THE INTENTION OF THE PERSON AND WHY THEY MAY HAVE ACTED IN THE WAY THEY DID TOWARDS YOU. WHEN WE UNDERSTAND THE REASON WHY THE PERSON MAY HAVE ACTED IN THAT WAY, IT MAY MAKE IT EASIER FOR US TO FORGIVE.

               3. CONFIRM THE OTHER PERSON'S THOUGHTS

 

                 TO CONFIRM WHAT THE PERSON'S THOUGHTS WERE WHEN THEY ACTED TOWARDS YOU IN A CERTAIN WAY, YOU MAY DO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS.

                  A) APPROACH THE PERSON DIRECTLY. USE TACT TO UNDERSTAND THEIR THOUGHT PROCESS. A NORMAL CONVERSATION MAY HELP REVEAL WHY THEY ACTED THE WAY THEY DID. NOTE: YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO INTO THIS MEETING WITH AN ACCUSATORY ATTITUDE, AS IT MAY BACKFIRE IF THINGS GET EMOTIONAL.

                 B) TALK TO SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THAT PERSON'S FRIEND OF THAT PERSON.

                C) IF A AND B ARE NOT POSSIBLE, THEN WAIT UNTIL MORE UNFOLDS. LET TIME REVEAL MORE.

                 4. FORESEE DIFFICULTIES THAT MAY ARISE, 

                                           BUT ALSO TRY TO                      

              SEE THE BENEFITS OF FORGIVING THIS PERSON

                    WHEN TRYING TO FORGIVE SOMEONE, THERE MAY BE SITUATIONS AND EMOTIONS THAT MAY REPLAY IN YOUR MIND AND MAKE IT DIFFICULT TO COMPLETELY LET GO.

                   YOU MAY BE FEELING HURT, ANGER, INJUSTICE, WHATEVER IT IS, WRITE IT DOWN BELOW.'

                   COUNTERACT THE FEELINGS OF HURT, WITH THE BENEFITS OF LETTING THAT FEELING GO.

                      5. REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT PERSON HAS                                    DONE FOR YOU

                      RECALLING ALL THE GOOD THINGS THE PERSON HAS DONE FOR YOU WILL HELP YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY IN FORGIVING THEM.

                     6. THINKOF HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE AFTER FORGIVING

 

                    * FORGIVE AND FORGET. (THEREFORE TRUST THE PERSON AGAIN)

                   * FORGIVE, MONITOR AND THEN TRUST. (LOOK TO SEE IF THE PERSON) HAS IMPROVED THEIR BEHAVIOUR BEFORE TRUSTING THEM AGAIN)

                  * FORGIVE AND NOT TRUST. (YOU CAN FORGIVE THE PERSON BUT DECIDE TO NO LOGER HAVE A TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM)

                * FORGIVE AND TAKE AGAIN. (YOU MAY FORGIVE THE PERSON AND NEED TO TAKE ACTION, EITHER LEGAL OR PRACTICAL. EXAMPLE YOU MAY FORGIVE YOUR SPOUSE FOR CHEATING YOU, BUT YOU MAY STILL DECIDE TO LIVE SEPARATE LIVES)

                  IN THE SPACE BELOW, WRITE HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE AFTER FORGIVING THE PERSON AND WHY YOU WANT TO LIVE IN THIS WAY.

                           7. LOOK AT YOUR FORGIVENESS AFFIRMATION

                YOU SHOUE HAVE NOTED:

               * THE PERSON YOU WANT TO FORGIVE, AND WHAT YOU WANT TO FORGIVE THEM FOR.

           

              * THE SITUATION FROM THE OTHER PERSON'S PERSPECTIVE (IN YOUR OPINION)

              * CONFIRM THE OTHER PERSON'S INTENTION TOWARD YOU.

             * ANY DIFFICULTIES THAT MAY ARISE IN TRYING TO FORGIVE THE PERSON.

            * ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT THE PERSON HAS DONE FOR YOU.

           * WHETHER YOU WANT TO FORGIVE AND FORGET, FORGIVE AND NOT TRUST, FORGIVE, MONITOR ADN THEN TRUST, OR FORGIVE AND TAKE ACTION.

                           CAN YOU TURN YOUR PASSION INTO PURPOSE?

                 THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE ARE THOSE HELPING OTHER. DOES THIS PASSION HELP YOU CONTRIBUTE TO THE WORLD? YOUR PASSION IS FOR YOU, BUT ONCE YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE IT SERVE OTHERS, IT BECOMES YOUR PURPOSE.

                 YOU CAN TURN YOUR PASSION INTO YOUR PURPOSE BY USING ONE OF THE THREE R'S.

                  RELEVANCE : IS YOUR PASSION DIRECTLY RELEVANT TO HELPING OTHER? FOR EXAMPLE, BEING A TEACHER CAN BE A REWARDING PROFESSION: YOU CAN EARN A LIVING, WHILST STIMULTANEOUSLY ENRICHING YOUNG MINDS.

               RESOURCES : DOES YOUR SITUATION ALLOW YOU TO USE ITS BENEFITS TO HELP OTHERS? THIS COULD BE YOUR STATUS TO INFLUENCE CHANGE, YOU MONEY TO HELP WITH PHILANTHROPY OR YOUR NETWORK TO CHANGE HEARTS.

              REMAINDER OF YOUR TIME; YOUR SITUATION MAY GIVE YOU FLEXIBILITY, TO HAVE THE TIME TO CARRY OUT WHAT YOU'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT OUTSIDE OF YOUR DAY-TO-DAY WORK. THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO WORK ALL AT THE OFFICE, BUT COME ALIVE SERVING THE HOMELESS AFTER WARDS.

            I SHOULD STRESS THAT PURPOSE DOES NOT MEAN A GRAND STATEMENT TO CHANGE THE WORLD'. IT COULD MEAN HAVING GRAND INTENTIONS TO CHANGE THE WORLD IN A SMALL WAY. THAT SMALL CONTRIBUTIONS MAY FEED INTO A LARGER NETWORK OF PEOPLE WORKING TOGETHER TO HELP. FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU WANT TO HELP THE HOMELESS, CAN YOU CONNECT WITH AN ORGANIZATION OR GROUP THAT RESONATES WITH YOU?

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SPEAKING SLANG

 

                                                    

                                                           YOUR SLANG

                     WE SHOULD DEAL WITH EACH OTHER SENSITIVELY, OUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE AFFECTS, HOW WE ACT IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS.

                    A GENTLE ANSWER TURNS AWAY WRATH, BUT A HARSH WORD

                    STIRS UP ANGER

                                                                                                                ---- SOLOMON

                       WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW YOU TREAT YOUR WIFE? I ASKED HIM, ALARMED. I HAD BEEN TO THEIR HOUSE AND FOUND NOTHING AMISS. WAS THERE SOMETHING HE WASN'T SHARING?

                      IT'S NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE, HE SAID, BLUSHING, ITS JUST THAT WE ARE CONSTANTLY FIGHTING AND BICKERING. SHE ALWAYS WANTS TO CHANGE THINGS ABOUT ME, AND I END UP LEAVING THE ROOM WHEN SHE STARTS WITH HER SUGGESTIONS.

                    I WAS QUITE TAKEN ABLACK BY HIS COMMENTS. HOW PEOPLE HEHAVE IN PUBLIC CAN BE VERY DIFFERENT FROM HOW THEY ARE IN THEIR PRIVATE LIVES.

                   JUST A FEW MINUTES AGO I WAS EXPERIENCING THE WARMTH IN THE EXCHANGES BETWEEN YOU TWO, I SAID, 

                 I SUPPORSE WE ACT DIFFERENTLY DEPENDING ON WHOSE COMPANY WE ARE IN, HE PAUSED FOR A MOMENT. HOW CAN WE MAINTAIN THE "SPARK" THAT WE ONCE HAD?. WHAT YOU WITNESSED AT MY HOME TODAY WAS WHAT IT WAS CONSTANTLY LIKE IN. AMERICA WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER, BUT IT SLOWLY STARTED TO FIZZLED OUT. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?

               THERE WAS A SERIES OF THINGS I WANTED TO SAY. I STARTED BY COMFORTING HIM, "THIS HAPPENS WITH ALL RELATIONSHIPS , NOT JUST IN MARRIAGES. IF WE ARE NOT PROACTIVE IN OUR RELATIONSHIPS, THEY START TO SEEM DRY AND BECOME CUMBERSOME. WE HAVE TO HAVE RESPECT FOR THE OTHER PERSON, WHICH IS REFLECTED IN HOW SENSITIVELY WE TREAT HIM'.

                I HAD ANOTHER ANECODOTE TO SHARE:

                                                    HARSH WORDS FLY'

                         THE WHEELS OF THE PLANE SCREECHED AS WE LANDED ON THE TARMAC O FHEATHROW AIRPORT, LONDON. AS A CROWD GATHERED IN THE AISLE - WITH PEOPLE QUICK TO DISOBEY THE FASTEN-SEATBELT SIGN, WHICH WE STILL ON - I CLOSED MY EYES STILL SITTING IN MY SEAT, PLANNING FOR WHAT I NEEDED TO DO AT THE TERMINAL. IT WAS MY NINTH TIME IN LONDON. BY NOW I WAS USED TO LONG IMMIGRATION LINES, CHECK-IN BAGS ALREADY  WALTZING AROUND THE BAGGAGE CAROUSEL AND MY FRIENDS WAITING TO PICK ME UP AT THE ARRIVALS.

                        AS THE LINE TO EXIT THE PLANE THINNED, I DEFTLY UNCLIPPED MY SEATBELT (THIS WAS THE ONLY PART OF THE SAFETY DEMONSTRATION WHICH I HAD MASTERED) AND STRETCHED LETHARGICALLY. IT HAS BEEN A TEN-HOUR FLIGHT FROM MUMBAI, TORRENTIAL RAINS MEANS OUR PLANE WAS CIRCLING THE ENGLISH CAPITAL FOR THREE-QUARTERS OF AN HOUR. A MEMBER OF THE CREW BROUGHT MY BAG DOWN FROM THE CABIN ABOVE, EXEMPLIFYING THEIR EXCELLENT SERVICE DURING THE FIGHT. SEEING MY SAFFRON ROBES, I FELT THEY WERE BIASED TOWARDS ME AT TIMES, GIVING ME AN EXTRA PILLOW OR A LARGER TOMATO JUICE. ALTHOUGH I NEVER FELT ENTITLD TO THIS, I THANKED THEM.

                                                                SUMMARY :

                  I TEND TO TRAVEL LIGHT WHEN I GO ABROAD. THE GREAT THING ABOUT BEING A MONKIS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING (ORANGE EVERY DAY), YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT GROOMING YOUR HAIR (YOU DON'T  HAVE ANY) AND YOU BAGS ARE TINY (YOU OWN VERY LITTLE). HAVING FEWER POSSESSIONS FREES ONE OF ANXIETY, GIVING YOU MORE MIND-SPACE FOR THE VITAL THINGS IN LIFE.

                  * WE MUST BE SENSITIVE WITH OUR WORDS AND ACTIONS. BEING SENSITIVE MEANS TO THINK ABOUT HOW THE OTHER PERSON MAY FEEL BEFORE WE SAY OR DO SOMETHING. FOR EXAMPLE, MANASI'S NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE AT THE ASHRAM THAT I RESIDE IN AFFECTED HER OUTLOOK ON THE WHOLE COMMUNITY.

 

                 * HOW DE WE PRACTISE BEING SENSITIVE? WE MUST TREAT EVEN INANIMATE OBJECTS WITH CONSIDERATION AND RESPECT. IF WE DO NOT, THEN THE MENTALITY OF INSENSITIVITY MAY BECOME A PART OF OUR GENERAL ATTITUDE.

               * ONE'S INSTINCT OR GENERAL ATTITUDE DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE BETWEEN THINGS AND PEOPLE. TREATING THINGS BADLY CAN AFFECT OUR ATTITUDE NEGATIVELY, WHICH MAY PERCOLATE INTO OUR RELATIONSHIPS.

               * SEEING THE BEST IN PEOPLE CAN BE CHALLENGING AT TIMES, ESPECIALLY WHEN WE ARE IN CONSTANT PROXIMITY TO THEM.

             * WE CAN PERCEIVE PEOPLE IN THE FOLLOWING FIVE WAYS:

                          👀 SEE ONLY BAD AND MAGNIFY IT.

                          👀 SEE GOOD AND BAD, NEGLECT THE GOOD AND FOCUS ON THE BAD.

                          👀 SEE GOOD AND BAD, AND BE NEUTRAL TO BOTH.

                           👀 SEE GOOD AND BAD, CHOOSE TO FOCUS ON THE GOOD AND                                                      NEGLECT THE BAD.

                          👀 SEE THE GOOD AND MAGNIFY IT.

                 *  THE IDEAL STATE IS THE FOURTH STAGE, IN WHICH ONE'S RELATIONSHIPS                          FLOURISH.

                * REACHING THE FOURTH STAGE TAKES CONSISTENT HARD WORK AND                                  PRACTICE.

 

                                                   BEFORE SPEAK ANY

 

                  ❤ SAYING THINGS IN ANGER DAMAGES OUR RELATIONSHIPS. HENCE, WE SHOULD TRY TO AVOID DOING SO.

                  ❤ IF WE NEED TO GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK, WE SHOULD INVEST TONNES OF PRAISE AND TRUST INTO A PERSON BEFORE DOING SO.

                  ❤ THINK : WITH REGARD TO THE STORY IN NEPAL, I COULD DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONAL HURT BECAUSE I REALIZED HOW MUCH THE INDIVIDUAL CORRECTING ME HAD DONE FOR ME IN THE PAST.

                 ❤ CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK IS AN ART. IT HAS FOUR PRINCIPLES. ASK YOURSELF:

                ❤ AM I THE RIGHT PERSON TO GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK?

               ❤ DO I HAVE THE RIGHT MOTIVE TO GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK?

               ❤ DO I KNOW THE RIGHT WAY TO GIVE CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK?

              ❤ IS IT THE RIGHT TIME?

                 THE SMOOTH IMPLEMENTATION OF THESE FOUR PRINCIPLES TAKES TIME BECAUSE GIVING CORRECTIVE FEEDBACK INSENSITIVELY HAS BECOME AN ADDICTIVE HABIT FOR MANY.

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