CHANGE YOUR CHILDHOOD RULE

 

                       FROM CHILDHOOD TO MATURITY

                     WHEN YOU ARE GROWING UP, FROM AN EARLY AGE YOU BECOME CONDITIONED TO SEE YOURSELF AS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE. THIS IS NORMAL AND NATURAL. WHEN YOU ARE A CHILD, YOUR PARENTS ARE IN CHARGE. THEY MAKE ALL YOUR DECISIONS. THEY DECIDE WHAT FOOD YOU WILL EAT, WHAT CLOTHES YOU WILL WEAR, WHAT TOYS YOU WILL PLAY WITH, WHAT HOME YOU WILL LIVE IN, WHAT SCHOOL YOU WILL ATTEND, AND WHAT ACTIVITIES YOU WILL ENGAGE IN DURING YOUR SPARE TIME. BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUNG, INNOCENT, AND UNKNOWING, YOU DO WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO. YOU HAVE LITTLE CHOICE OR CONTROL.

                  AS YOU GROW UP, HOWEVER, YOU BEGIN TO MAKE MORE AND MORE OF YOUR OWN DECISIONS IN EACH OF THESE AREAS. BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR EARLY PROGRAMMING, YOU ARE CONDITIONED UNCONSCIOUSLY TO FEEL THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS STILL RESPONSILBLE FOR YOUR LIFE. THAT THERE IS STILL SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE WHO CAN OR SHOULD TAKE CARE OF YOU.

                  MOST PEOPLE GROW UP BELIEVING, THAT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG, SOMEONE ELSE IS RESPONSIBLE. SOMEONE ELSE IS TO BLAME. SOMEONE ELSE IS GUILTY. SOMEONE ELSE IS THE VILLAIN THE THEY ARE THE VICTIM. AS A RESULT, MOST PEOPLE MAKE MORE AND MORE EXCUSES FOR THE THINGS IN THEIR LIVES, PAST AND PRESENT, THAT MAKE THEM UNHAPPY.

                        GET OVER THE MISTAKES YOUR PARENTS MADE

                         IF YOUR PRENTS CRITICIZED YOU OR GOT ANGRY WITH YOU FOR MISTAKES YOU MADE WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP, YOU BEGAN TO UNCONCIOUSLY ASSUME THATSOMEHOW YOU WERE AT FAULT. IF YOUR PARENTS PUNISHED YOU PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY FOR DOING OR NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT PLEASED OR DISPLEAED  THEM, YOU FELT INFERIOR AND INADEQUATE.

                     WHEN YOUR PARENTS WITHHELD THEIR LOVE TO PUNISH YOU FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING THEY DEMANDED, YOU MIGHT HAVE GROWN UP WITH DEEP FEELINGS OF GUILT, UNWORTHINESS, AND UNDESERVINGNESS. ALL THESE NEGATIVE FEELINGS COULD THEN INTERSECT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A VICTIM, LIKE YOU WRE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF OR YOUR LIFE ONCE YOU BECAME AN ADULT.

                      THE MOST COMMON FEELING THAT WE HAVE AS ADULTS IF WE HAVE BEEN RAISED IN A CRITICAL HOME ENVIRONMENT IS THE FEELING THAT :I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH" BECAUSE OF THIS FEELING, WE COMPARE OURSELVES UNFAVORABLY TO OTHERS. WE THINK THAT OTHER PEOPLE WHO SEEM TO BE HAPPIER OR MORE CONFIDENT ARE BETTER THAN US. WE DEVELOP FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY. THIS CAN BECOME AN EMOTIONAL TRAP.

                                    SELF-DISCIPLINE AND THE GOOD LIFE

                          YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE IS TO ACHIEVE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THIS FOR YOU. THIS PERSONAL DESIRE IS THE MOTIVATION BEHIND ALMOST EVERY BEHAVIOR. MOREOVER, HAPPINESS IS MORE EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL THAN IT IS A MATTER OF ACQUIRING MATERIAL THINGS. IN THIS PART, YOU WILL LEARN HOW THE PRACTICE OF DISCIPLINE IN THE MOST IMPORTANT AREAS OF YOUR LIFE CAN BRING YOU MORE JOY AND SATISFACTION THAN PERHAPS ANY OTHER QUALITY.

                                              THE REASON FOR HAPPINESS

                  IT IS OFTEN THE SIZE OF THE GAP BETWEEN YOUR PRESENT SITUATION AND THE CONDITIONS AND CIRCUMSTANCES THAT YOU FEEL THAT YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY THAT DETERMINES WHETHER YOU ARE HAPPY OR UNHAPPY. THIS IS VERY MUCH A MATTER OF YOUR OWN EVALUATION AND DECISION.              

                    THERE IS AN OLD SAYING THAT "SUCCESS IS GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, HAPPINESS IS WANTING  WHAT YOU GET". WHEN YOUR INCOME AND YOUR LIFE ARE CONSISTENT WITH YOUR GOAL AND EXPECTATIONS AND YOU ARE CONTENT WITH YOUR SITUATION, YOU FEEL HAPPY. IF ON THE OTHER HAND, FOR ANY REASON YOUR CURRENT SITUATION IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU REALLY WANT AND EXPECT, YOU WILL BE DISCONTENED AND UNHAPPY.

                 THIS STATE OF CONTENTMENT CAN BE CONSTANTLY CHANGING, WHEN YOU START OFF IN YOUR CAREER, AN INCOME OF $ 50000 PER YEAR CAN SEEM LIKE A HUGE ACHIEVEMENT. BUT ONCE YOU NOT EARNING $100000 OR MORE. SOME PEOPLE ARE UNHAPPY EARNING A MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR.

                                             HAPPINESS IS A BY-PRODUCT

                   THE INTERESTING THING ABOUT HAPPINESS IS THAT IT IS NOT A GOAL THAT YOU CAN AIM AT AND ACHIEVE IN AND OF ITSELF. HAPPINESS IS A BY-PRODUCT THAT COMES TO YOU WHEN YOU ARE ENGAGED IN DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU REALLY ENJOY WHILE IN THE COMPANY OF PEOPLE WHO YOU LIKE AND RESPECT.

                     EARL NIGHTINGALE, PERHAPS THE MOST FAMOUS AND RESPECTED RADIO COMMENTATOR ON SUCCESS IN HISTORY, SAID THAT "HAPPINESS IS THE PROGRESSIVE REALIZATION OF A WORTHY IDEAL". WHENEVER YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE MOVING, STEP-BY-STEP, TOWARD SOMETHING THAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, TOWARD YOUR MOST IMPORTANT GOALS, YOU AUTOMATICALLY FEEL HAPPY. YOU FEEL SATISFIED AND CONTENT. YOU FEEL A TREMENDOUS SENSE OF PERSONAL GROWTH AND WELL-BEING.

SEFL - DISCIPLINE AND GOALS

 

                               MULTIPLY YOUR CHANCES

                          YOUR ABILITY TO DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO SET CLEAR GOALS FOR YOURSEFL AND THEN TO WORK TOWARD THEM EVERY DAY WILL DO MORE TO GUARANTEE YOUR SUCCESS THAN ANY OTHER SINGLE FACTOR. YOU NEED TO HAVE GOALS TO ACCOMPLISH WORTHWHILE THINGS IN LIFE. YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD IT SAID THAT "YOU CAN'T HIT A TARGET THAT YOU CAN'T SEE".

                         "IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING, ANY ROAD WILL GET YOU                               THERE ".

                       AND AS WAYNE GRETSKY SAID, "YOU MISS EVERY SHOT YOU DON'T TAKE".

                        THE VERY ACT OF TAKING THE TIME TO DECIDE WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN EACH AREA OF YOUR LIFE CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

                     

                                                   THE 3 PERCENT FACTOR

                            IT SEEMS THAT ONLY 3 PERCENT OF ADULTS HAVE WRITTEN GOALS AND PLANS, AND THIS 3 PERCENT EARN MORE THAN ALL OF THE OTHER 97 PERCENT PUT TOGETHER.

                           WHAT IS THIS? THIS SIMPEST ANSWER IS THAT IF YOU HAVE CLEAR GOAL AND A PLANTO ACHIEVE IT, YOU THEREFORE HAVE A TRACK BY DISTRACTIONS AND DIVERSIONS, GETTING LOST OR GOING ASTRAY, MORE AND MORE OF YOUR TIME IS FOCUSED IN A STRAIGHT LINE - FROM WHERE YOU ARE TO WHERE YOU WANT TO GO. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE WITH GOALS ACCOMPLISH SO MUCH MORE THAN PEOPLE WITHOUT THEM.

                       THE TRAGEDY IS THAT MOST PEOPLE THINK THAT THEY ALREADY HAVE GOALS. BUT WHAT THEY REALLY HAVE ARE HOPES AND WISHES. HOWEVER, HOPE IS NOT A STRAGEGY FOR SUCCESS, AND A WISH HAS BEEN DEFINED AS A "GOAL WITH NO ENERGY BEHIND IT".

                       GOALS THAT ARE NOT WRITTEN DOWN AND DEVELOPED INTO PLAN ARE LIKE BULLETS WITHOUT POWDER IN THE CARTRIDGE. PEOPLE WITH UNWRITTEN GOALS GO THROUGH LIFE SHOOTING BLANKS. BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY ALREADY HAVE GOALS, THEY NEVER ENGAGE IN THE HARD, DISCIPLINED EFFORT OF GOAL-SETTING-AND THIS IS THE MASTER SKILL OF SUCCESS.

                                     MULTIPLY YOUR CHANES OF SUCCESS

                     IN 2006, USA TODAY REPORTED A STUDY IN WHICH RESEARCHERS SELECTED A LARGE NUMBER PEOPLE WHO HAD MADE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS. THEY THEN DIVIDED THESE PEOPLE INTO TWO CATEGORIES, THOSE WHO HAD SET NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS AND WRITTEN THEM DOWN AND THOSE WHO HAD SET NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS BUT HAD NOT WRITTEN THEM DOWN.

                    TWELVE MONTHS LATER, THEY FOLLOWED UP ON THE RESPONDENTS IN THIS STUDY, AND WHAT THEY FOUND WAS ASTONISHING. OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAD SET NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS BUT HAD NOT WRITTEN THEM DOWN, ONLY 4 PERCENT HAD ACTUALLY FOLLOWED THROUGH ON THEIR RESOLUTIONS. BUT  AMONG THE GROUP WHO HAD WRITTEN DOWN THEIR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS (AN EXERCISE REDQUIRING ONLY A COUPLE OF MINUTES), 44 PERCENT HAD FOLLOWED THROUGH ON THEM. THIS IS A DIFFERENCE OF MORE THAN 1100 PERCENT IN SUCCESS, AND IT WAS ACHIEVED BY THE SIMPLE ACT OF CRYSTALLIZING THE RESOLUTIONS OR GOALS ON PAPER.

                                             THE DISCIPLINE OF WRITING 

                   IN MY EXPERIENCE OF WORKING WITH SEVERAL MILLION PEOPLE OVER THE PAST TWENTY-FIVE YEARS, THE DISCIPLINED ACT OF WRITING OUR GOALS, MAKING PLAN FOR ACCOMPLISHING THEM, AND THEN WORKING ON THOSE GOALS DAILY INCREASE THE LIKEHOOD OF ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS BY TEN TIMES, OR 1000 PERCENT.

                THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT WRITING OUT YOUR GOALS GUARANTEE SUCCESS, BUT RATHER THAN IT INCREASES THE PROBABALITY OF SUCCESS BY TEN TIMES. THERE ARE VERY GOOD ODDS TO HAVE WORKING IN YOUR FAVOR, ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE IS NO COST OR RISK INVOLVED IN PUTTING PEN TO PAPER - JUST A LITTLE TIME.

                  WRITING IS CALLED "PSYCHO-NEURO-MOTOR ACTIVITY". THE ART OF WRITING FORCES YOU TO THINK AND CONCENTRATE. IT FORCES YOU TO CHOOSE WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU AND YOUR FUTURE. AS A RESULT, WHEN YOU WRITE DOWN A GOAL, YOU IMPRESS INTO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, WHICH THEN GOAS TO WORK TWENTY-FOUR HOURS DAY TO BRING YOUR GOAL TO REALITY.

               SOMETIMES I TELL MY SEMINAR AUDIENCES, "ONLY 3 PERCENT OF ADULTS HAVE WRITTEN GOALS, AND EVERYONE ELSE WORKS FOR THOSE PEOPLE". IN LIFE, YOU EITHER WORK TO ACHIEVE YOUR OWN GOALS OR YOU WORK TO ACHIEVE THE GOALS OF SOMEONE ELSE. WHAT IS IT GOING TO BE?

                                 SUCCEESS VERSUS FAILURE MECHANISMS

                            YOUR BRAIN HAS BOTH A SUCCESS MECHANISM AND A FAILURE MECHANISM. THE FAILURE MECHANISM IS THE TEMPTATION TO FOLLOW THE UNDISCIPLINED PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE, TO DO WHAT IS FUN AND EASY RATHER THAN WHAT IS HARD AND NECESSARY. YOUR FAILURE MECHANISM OPERATES AUTOMATICALLY THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE, WHICH IS THE MAJOR REASON WHY MOST THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE, WHICH IS THE MAJOR REASON WHY MOST PEOPLE FAIL TO FULLFILL THEIR INDIVIDUAL POTENTIALS.

                             WHILE YOUR FAILURE MECHANISM FUNCTIONS AUTOMATICALLY, YOUR SUCCESS MECHANISM IS TRIGGERED BY A GOAL. WHEN YOU DECIDE ON A GOAL, YOU OVERRIDE YOUR FAILURE MECHANISM, AND CAN YOU CHANGE THE DIRECTION OF YOUR LIFE. YOU GO FROM BEING A SHIP WITHOUT A RUDDER, DRIFTING WITH THE TIDE, TO BEING A SHIP WITHOUT A RUDDER,  DRIFTING WITH THE TIDE, TO BEING A SHIP WITH A RUDDER, A COMPASS, AND A CLEAR DESTINATION, SAILING IN A STRAIGHT DIRECTION TOWARD YOUR GOALS.

                                                    THE POWER OF GOALS

                     A CLIENT OF MINE RECENTLY TOLE ME IN INTERESTING STORY. HE SAID HE HAD ATTENTED ONE OF MY SEMINARS IN 1994, WHERE I SPOKE ABOUT THE IMPORTANT OF WRITING DOWN GOALS AND MAKING PLANS FOR ACCOMPLISHING THEM. AT THAT TIME, HE WAS THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, SELLING CARS OF A DEALERSHIP IN NASHVILLE, AND EARNING ABOUT $50000 A YEAR.

                     HE TOLD ME THAT DAY CHANGED HIS LIFE. HE BEGAN WRITING OUT HIS GOALS AND PLANS AND WORKING ON THEM DAILY. TWELVE YEARS LATER, HE WAS EARNING MORE THAN $1 MILLION A YEAR AND WAS THE PRESIDENT OF A FAST-GROWING COMPANY THAT SELLS SERVICES TO SOME OF THE BIGGEST COMPANIES IN THE COUNTRY. HE TOLD ME HE COULD NOT IMAGINE WHAT HIS LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE IF HE HAD NOT TAKEN OUT A PIECE OF PAPER AND WRITTEN DOWN THE GOALS HE WANTED TO ACHIEVE IN THE YEARS AHEAD.

THE KEY TO THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY

 

                     NO LIMITS ON YOUR POTENTIAL

                      THE AVERAGE INCOME INCREASE IN AMERICA IS ABOUT 3 PERCENT A YEAR, JUST ABOUT THE SAME AS THE RATE OF INFLATION AND COST OF LIVING INCREASES. PEOPLE WHOSE INCOME IS INCREASING AT 3 PERCENT A YEAR SELDOM GET AHEAD. THEY HAVE A JOB, WHICH CAN BE THOUGH OF AS AN ACRONYM FOR "JUST OVER BROKE".

                     BUT THE FACT IS THAT NO ONE IS BETTER THAN YOU, AND NO ONE IS SMARTER THAN YOU. IF SOMEONE IS DOING BETTER THAN YOU ARE TODAY, IT IS SIMPLY PROOF THAT HE HAS LEARNED HOW THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT APPLIES TO HIS WORK, AND HE HAS BEGUN DOING THE THINGS THAT OTHER SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE HAVE ALSO DONE. THE APPLICATION OF THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT TO YOUR PERSONAL LIFE IS "LEARN AND DO".

                     THE ACHIEVEMENT OF PERSONAL EXCELLLENCE IS A DECISION YOU MAKE  OR THAT YOU FAIL TO MAKE. BUT IN THE ABSENCE OF A COMMITMENT TO EXCELLENCE IN YOUR CHOSEN FIELD, YOU AUTOMATICALLY DEFAULT TO AVERAGE PERFORMANCE - OR EVEN MEDIOCRITY. NO ONE BECOMES EXCELLENT ACCIDENTALLY OR BY JUST GOING TO WORK EACH DAY. EXCELLENCE REQUIRES A DEFINITE DECISION AND A LIFELONG COMMITMENT.

                             THE KEY TO THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY

                       KNOWLEDGE AND SKILL ARE THE KEYS TO THE TWENTY-FIVE CENTURY. BECOMING THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE AND MOVING TO THE TOP OF YOUR FIELD REQUIRE THE APPLICATION OF SELF-DISCIPLINE THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE. MENTAL FITNESS IS LIKE PHYSICAL FITNESS, IF YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE EITHER, YOU MUST WORK AT IT ALL YOUR LIFE. YOU CAN NEVER LET UP. YOU MUST BE CONTINUALLY LEARNING AND GROWING - EVERY DAY, WEEK, AND MONTH - THROUGHOUT YOUR CAREER (AND IN OTHER AREAS OF YOUR LIFE) IF YOU'RE GOING TO JOIN THE TOP 20 PERCENT AND STAY THERE. TO EARN MORE, YOU MUST LEARN MORE.

                   ABRAHIM LINCOLN ONCE WROTE, "THE FACT THAT SOME HAVE BECOME WEALTHY IS PROOF THAT OTHERS MAY DO IT AS WELL".

                    WHAT OTHERS HAVE DONE, YOU CAN DO AS WELL- IF YOU LEAN HOW. EVERYONE WHO IS AT THE TOP WAS ONCE AT THE BOTTOM. MANY PEOPLE WHO COME FROM AVERAGE OR POOR FAMILIES WITH AVERAGE INCOMES OR WHO GROW UP IN AVERAGE CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE GONE ON TO BECOME SOME OF THE MOST PROMINENT PEOPLE IN THEIR FIELDS. AND WHAT HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS AND EVEN MILLIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE HAVE DONE, YOU CAN DO AS WELL. THE PHILOSOPHER BERTRAND RUSSELL ONCE WROTE THAT "THE VERY BEST PROOF THAT SOMETHING CAN BE DONE IS THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS ALREADY DONE IT.

                                        ORDINARY INTO EXTRAORDINARY

                          VERY OFTEN, YOU SEE PEOPLE WHO DON'T SEEM TO BE AS INTELLIGENT OR AS TALENTED AS YOU ARE WHO ARE NONETHELESS ACCOMPLISHING REMARKABLE THINGS WITH THEIR LIVES. THERE IS NOTHING THAT WILL MAKE YOU ANGRIER THAN TO SEE SOMEONE WHO SEEMS TO BE DUMBER THAN YOU DOING BETTER THAN YOU. HOW CAN THIS BE ?

 

                           THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. AT A CERTAIN POINT IN THEIR LIVES, THEY REALIZED THAT THE KEY TO SUCCESS WAS  PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL GROWTH. IT WAS A DEDICATION TO LIFELONG LEARNING.

                         THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT ALMOST EVERY IMPORTANT SKILL IS LEARNABLE. EVERY BUSINESS SKILL IS LEARNABLE. EVERYONE WHO IS PROFFICIENT IN ANY AREA OF BUSINESS SKILL IS LEARNABLE. EVERYONE WHO IS PROFICIENT IN ANY AREA OF BUSINESS WAS AT ONE TIME COMPLETELY IGNORANT IN THAT AREA. EVERY SALES SKILL IS LEARNABLE. EVERY TOP SALESPERSON WAS ONCE A BEGINNING SALESPAPER AND UNABLE TO MAKE A CALL OR CLOSE A SALE. ALL MONEYMAKING SKILL ARE LEARNABLE AS WELL. ALMOST EVERY WEALTHY PERSON WAS ONCE POOR. YOU CAN LEARN ANYTHING YOU NEED TO LEARN TO ACHIEVE ANY GOAL YOU CAN SET FOR YOURSELF.

     

                                                     MAKE A DECISION

                        THE STARTING POINT OF YOUR MOVING UPWARD AND ONWARD TOWARD BECOMING ONE OF THE MOST COMPETENT, MOST RESPECTED, AND HIGHEST PAID PEOPLE IN YOUR FIELD IS SIMPLE. MAKE A DECISION!

                       IT IS SAID THAT EVERY MAJOR CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE COMES ABOUT WHEN YOUR MIND COLLIDES WITH A NEW IDEA, AND YOU THEN MAKED A DECISION TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. YOU MAKE A DECISION TO COMPLETE YOUR EDUCATION, UPGRADE YOUR SKILLS, OR GET INTO A OOD COLLEGE. YOU MAKE A DECISION TO START A NEW BUSINESS. YOU MAKE A DECISION TO TAKE A PARTICULAR JOB OR START A PARTICULAR CAREER. YOU MAKE A DECISION TO INVEST YOUR MONEY IN A PARTICULAR WAY. AND, ESPECIALLY, YOU MAKE A DECISION TO BE THE BEST IN YOUR FIELD.

                 MANY PEOPLE SAY THAT THEY WOULD LIKE TO BE HAPPY, HEALTHY, THIN, AND RICH. BUT (AS DISCUSSED IN CHAPTER 4) WISHING AND HOPING ARE NOT ENOUGH. YOU HAVE TO MAKE A FIRM, UNEQUIVOCAL DECISION THAT YOU ARE GOING TO PAY ANY PRICE AND GO ANY DISTANCE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO PAY ANY PRICE AND GO ANY DISTANCE IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THE GOALS YOU HAVE SET FOR YOURSELF. YOU HAVE TO MAKE THAT DECISION AND THEN BURN YOUR MENTAL BRIDGES BEHIND YOU. FROM THAT MINUTE ON, YOU RESOLVE TO CONTINUE WORKING ON YOURSELF AND YOUR CRAFT UNTIL YOU REACH THE TOP 20 PERCENT - OR BEYOND.

                          FOLLOW THE LEADERS, NOT THE FOLLOWERS

              WHEN YOU DECIDE TO BE ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE IN YOUR FIELD, LOOK AROUND YOU AND IDENTIFY THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ALREADY AT THE TOP:

                       * WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON?

                       * HOW DO THEY PLAN AND ORGANIZE THEIR DAYS ?

                       * HOW DO THEY DRESS ?

                       * HOW DO THEY WALK, TALK, AND BEHAVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE?

                       * WHAT BOOKS DO THEY READ?

                       * HOW DO THEY SPEND THEIR SPARE TIME?

                      * WHO DO THEY ASSOCIATE WITH ?

                      * WHAT COURSES HAVE THEY TAKEN?

                     * WHAT AUDIO PROGRAMS DO THEY LISTEN TO IN THEIR CARS?

                    THESE ARE JUST A FEW OF THE QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK IN ORDER TO FIND OUT WHAT SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ARE DOING THAT YOU MIGHT ALSO NEED TO DO. AFTER ALL YOU, CAN'T HIT A TARGET THAT YOU CAN'T SEE.

                     YOUR SELECTION OF THE RIGHT ROLE MODELS CAN HAVE AN ENORMOUS IMPACT ON YOUR FUTURE. DR.DAVID MACLELLAND OF HARVARD AND AUTHOR OF THE ACHIEVING SOCIETY CONCLUDED THAT YOUR CHOICE OF A "REFEENCE GROUP" CAN DETERMINE AS MUCH AS 95 PERCENT OF YOUR SUCCESS AND ACHIEVEMENT IN LIFE. YOUR REFERENCE GROUP IS MADE OF THE PEOPLE WHO YOU FEEL ARE "JUST LIKE ME". YOUR NATURAL TENDENCY IS TO ADOPT THE ATTITUDES, STYLES OF DRESS, OPINIONS, AND LIFESTYLES OF THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU IDENTIFY AND ASSOCIATE MOST OF THE TIME.

COURAGE AND FEAR

 

           

                           LEADERS HAVE TWO TYPES 

                                         OF COURAGE

                   IN LEADERSHIP, THE MOST COMMON QUALITY IS THAT OF VISION. LEADERS HAVE A CLEAR VISION OF WHERE THEY WANT TO TAKE THEIR ORGANIZATIONS. LEADERS ALSO HAVE A CLEAR VISION OF WHERE THEY WANT TO BE SOMETIMES IN THE FUTURE IN THEIR PERSONAL LIVES.

                     THE SECOND MOST COMMON QUALITY OF LEADERS IS THAT OF COURAGE. LEADERS HAVE THE COURAGE TO DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY TO FULLFILL THEIR VISION. THEY LEAD FROM THE FRONT AND DARE TO GO FORWARD.

                   THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COURAGE THAT YOU NEED:

                    FIRST, YOU NEED THE COURAGE TO LAUNCH, TO TAKE ACTION, TO TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH. YOU NEED THE COURAGE TO GO "ALL IN" WITHOUT ANY GUARANTEE OF SUCCESS AND WITH A HIGH POSIBILITY OF FAILURE, AT LEAST IN THE SHORT TERM. THE MAJOR FAILING THAT HOLDS MOST PEOPLE BACK IS THAT IN SPITEOF ALL THEIR BEST INTENTIONS, THEY DON'T HAVE THE COURAGE TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP.

                      THE SECOND TYPE OF COURAGE THAT YOU NEED IS CALLED "COURAGEOUS PATIENCE". THIS IS THE ABILITY TO HANG IN THERE AND CONTINUE WORKING AND FIGHTING AFTER YOU HAVE GONE ALL IN AND BEFORE YOU HAVE YET SEEN ANY RESULTS OR REWARDS. MANY PEOPLE CAN MUSTER UP THE COURAGE TO TAKE ACTION TOWARD QUICKLY GOAL, BUT WHEN THEY SEE NO IMMEDIATE RESULT THEY QUICKLY LOSE HEART AND PULL BACK TO SAFETY AND SECURITY. THEY DON'T HAVE STAYING POWER.

                                      DEAL WITH THE FEAR DIRECTLY

                  THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL WITH A FEAR IS A ADDRESS IS HEAD-ON. REMIND YOURSELF THAT "DENIAL" IS NOT A RIVER IN EGYPT. THED NATURAL TENDENCY OF MANY PEOPLE IS TO DENY THAY THEY HAVE A PROBLEM CAUSED BY FEAR OF SOME KIND. THEY'RE AFRAID OF CONFRONTING IT. IN TURN, IT BECOMES A MAJOR SOURCE OF STRESS, UNHAPPINESS, AND PSYCHOSOMATIC ILLNESS.

                     BE WILLING TO DEAL WITH THE SITUATION OR PERSON DIRECTLY. AS SHAKESPEARE SAID, "TAKE ARMS AGAINST A SEA OF TROUBLES, AND IN SO DOING, END THEM.

                   THE COMPANION OF FEAR IS WORRY. LIKE TWIN SISTERS, FEAR AND WORRY GO AROUND TOGETHER. MARK TWAIN ONCE WROTE, I HAVE WORRIED ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS IN LIFE, AND MOST OF THEM NEVER HAPPENED".

                  IT HAS BEEN ESTIMATED THAT 99 PERCENT OF THE THINGS THAT YOU WORRY ABOUT NEVER HAPPEN. AND MOST OF THE THINGS THAT DO HAPPEN, HAPPEN SO QUICKLY THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

                                                 THE DISASTER REPORT

                 WHENEVER YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT SOMETHING, FILL OUT A "DISASTER REPORT" ON THE SITUATION. THIS WILL DESTROY YOUR FEAR AND WORRY ALMOST INSTANTLY. THIS IS OFTEN CALLED THE "WORRY BUSTER". THE DISASTER REPORT HAS FOUR PARTS:

                  * FIRST, DEFINE THE WORRY SITUATION CLEARLY. WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU WORRIEAD ABOUT? VERY OFTEN, WHEN YOU TAKE THE TIME TO BE COMPLETELY CLEAR ABOUT THE WORRY SITUATION, A WAY TO RESOLVE THE SITUATION BECOME IMMEDIATELY EVIDENT.

                * SECOND, IDENTIFY THE WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN IF THIS WORRY SITUATION WERE TO TAKE PLACE. WOULD YOU LOSE YOUR JOB? WOULD YOU LOSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP? WOULD YOU LOSE YOUR MONEY? WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN? BE CLEAR ABOUT THIS. IN MANY CASES, YOU WILL SEE THAT SHOULD THE WORST OCCUR, IT WOULD NOT RUIN YOU. IT MIGHT BE INCONVENIENT OR UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT YOU WOULD EVENTUALLY RECOVER. YOU WILL FIND THAT IT'S PROBABLY NOT WORTH ALL THE WORRY THAT YOU ARE DEVOTING TO IT.

                   * THIRD, RESOLVE TO ACCEPT THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME, SHOULD IT OCCUR. SAY TO YOURSELF, "WELL, IF THAT HAPPENS, IT WON'T KILL ME. I WILL FIND A WAY TO GET ALONG". MOST OF THE STRESS OF WORRY COMES FROM DENIAL, FROM NOT BEING WILLING TO FACE THE WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN. BUT ONCE YOU HAVE RESOLVED TO ACCEPT THE WORST (SHOULD IT OCCUR) ALL THE WORRY AND STRESS SEEM TO DISSAPPEAR.

                   * FOURTH, BEGIN IMMEDIATELY TO IMPROVE ON THE WORST. TAKE EVER STEP THAT YOU POSSBLY CAN TO MAKE SURE THAT THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME DOES NOT OCCUR. TAKE ACTION IMMEDIATELY. DO SOMETHING. GET ON WITH IT. ACT QUICKLY. GET SO BUSY MAKING SURE THAT THE WORST THING DOES NOT HAPPEN THAT YOU HAVE NO TIME TO WORRY.

                                                         THE REAL ANTIDOTE

                        IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, THE ONLY REAL CURE FOR FEAR OR WORRY IS DISCIPLINED, PURPOSEFUL ACTION IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR GOALS. GET SO BUSY WORKING ON YOUR GOALS OR THE SOLUTIONS TO YOUR PROBLEMS THAT YOU HAVE NO TIME TO BE AFRAID OR TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING.

                        WHEN YOU PRACTIVE THE SELF-DISCIPLINE OF COURAGE AND FORCE YOURSELF TO FACE ANY FEAR-INDUCING SITUATION IN YOUR LIFE, YOUR SELF-ESTEEM GOES UP, YOUR SELF-RESPECT INCREASES, AND YOUR SENSE OF PERSONAL PRIDE GROWS. YOU EVENTUALLY REACH THE POINT IN LIFE WHERE YOU ARE NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.

                       ONCE YOU HAVE DEVELOPED THE COURAGE TO STEP OUT IN FAITH, YOU MUST THEN DEVELOP THE SELF-DISCIPLINE OF PERSISTENCE, WHICH WE WILL TALK ABOUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.

KEEP YOUR MIND CLEAR

 

                    THE PROBLEM SOLVING METHODS

                                     TOP PEOPLE HAVE DEVELOPED THE ABILITY TO RESPOND EFFECTIVELY TO A CRISIS, TO REMAIN CALM, RELAXED, AND CLEAR-EYED. THEY DISCIPLINE THEMSELVES TO STAY COOL AND UNEMOTIONAL. THIS ENABLES THEM TO THINK MORE CLEARLY, TO ANALYZE THE SITUATION, OBJECTIVELY, AND TO MAKE BETTER DECISIONS.

                            BUT THE MOMENT YOU BECOME ANGRY AND UPSET, YOUR NEOCORTEX - OR YOUR "THINKING BRAIN" - SHUTS DOWN. ALL YOU HAVE LEFT THEN IS YOUR PALEOCORTEX, YOUR EMOTIONAL BRAIN, WHICH THINKS IN TERMS OF "FIGHT OR FLIGHT". WHEN YOUR EMOTIONAL BRAIN IS IN CHARGE, YOU THINK IN TERMS OF BLACK AND WHITE, YES OR NO, DOING SOMETHING OR DOING NOTHING. YOU LOSE  THE ABILITY TO THINK IN SHADES OF GRAY AND TO LOOK AT ALL THE DIFFERENT POSSIBLE WAYS TO DEAL WITH THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION.

                      TOP PEOPLE REALIZE THAT EVERY PROBLEM IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO GROW IN SELF-CONTROL AND PERSONAL CONFIDENCE. IN FACT, YOU WILL RISE IN LIFE TO THE HEIGHT OF THE PROBLEMS THAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF SOLVING.

                         A NINE-STEP METHOD FOR SOLVING

                                          PROBLEMS EFFECTIVELY

                           STEP 1 : TAKE THE TIME TO DEFINE THE PROBLEM CLEARLY. IN MEDICINE, THEY SAY THAT "ACCURATE DIAGNOSIS IS HALF THE CURE". THEREFORE, YOU NEED TO ASK". WHAT EXACTLY IS THE PROBLEM?". IT IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING HOW SEVERAL PEOPLE CAN BECOME UPSET ABOUT A PROBLEM IN AN ORGANIZATION, BUT EVERY ONE OF THEM HAS A DIFFERENT IDEA OR DEFINITION OF THE EXACT NATURE OF THE PROBLEM THEY'RE FACING. YOUR JOB IS TO ACHIEVE CLARITY AND TO GET EVERYONE TO AGREE ON THE DEFINITION OF THE PROBLEM BEFORE YOU MOVE ON TO THE BUSINESS OF SOLVING IT.

                        STEP 2 : ASK, IS IT REALLY A PROBLEM? REMEMBER, THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT. THEY'RE NOT PROBLEMS, THEY ARE MERELY FACTS OF LIFE. IF INTEREST RATES RISE OR THE SUBPRIME MORTAGE MARKET COLLAPSES, THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM. IT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT IS AMENABLE TO A SOLUTION. INSTEAD, IT IS SOMETHING THAT MUST BE WORKED AROUND AND DEALT WITH.

                         ALSO, VERY OFTEN WHAT APPEARS TO BE A PROBLEM OR A SETBACK IS ACTUALLY AN OPPORTUNITY IN DISGUISE. SOMETIMES, THE PROBLEM DOES NOT NEED TO BE SOLVED AT ALL. INSTEAD, YOU ARE NOW FREE TO DO SOMEHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT - WHICH MIGHT BE EVEN FOR YOU AND YOUR ORGANIZATION.

                       STEP 3 : ASK, WHAT ELSE IS THE PROBLEM?" BEWARE OF ANY PROBLEM FOR WHICH THERE IS ONLY ONE DEFINITION. THE MORE WAYS YOU CAN DEFINE A PROBLEM, THE MORE LIKELY IT IS THAT YOU WILL FIND THE BEST SOLUTION.

                 WHEN WE WORK WITH CORPORATION IN WHICH SALES ARE BELOW A DESIRED LEVEL, WE FORCE THEM TO ASK TWENTY-ONE QUESTIONS, EACH RESTATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM, IF ACCEPTED AS THE CORRECT DEFINITION, LEADS TO A DIFFERENT SOLUTION AND OFTEN TO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DIRECTION FOR THE ORGANIZATION.

                  FOR EXAMPLE, WE WILL ASK,WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? AND THE FIND ANSWER IS " OUR SALES ARE TOO LOW".

                       THE NEXT QUESTION IS "WHAT ELSE IS THE PROBLEM"?

                         ANSWER : OUR COMPETITOR'S SALES ARE TOO HIGH".

                         NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE. IT THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOUR SALES ARE TOO LOW, THE SOLUTION MAY BE TO INCREASE YOUR ADVERTISING AND PROMOTION AND BEEF UP YOUR SALES ACTIVITIES. IF THE DEFINITION IS THAT YOUR COMPETITORS SALES ARE TOO HIGH, THE ANSWER MAY BE TO IMPORVE YOUR PRODUCTS, CHANGE YOUR PRODUCT LINE, LOWER YOUR PRICES, OR GO INTO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BUSINESS ALTOGETHER.

                        BY ASKING AND ANWERING A SERIES OF QUESTIONS LIKE THIS, WE EVENTUALLY FIND THE CORRECT DEFINITION, ONE THAT IS AMENABLE TO A WORKABLE SOLUTION.

                        STEP 4 : ASK, HOW DID THIS PROBLEM OCCUR?" SEEK TO UNDERSTAND THE CAUSES OF THE PROBLEM SO YOU CAN ENSURE THAT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN. IN YOUR LIFE OR BUSINESS, IF A PROBLEM RECURS REPEATEDLY, IT IS A SIGN THAT YOUR BUSINESS IS POORLY ORGANIZED OR OUT OF CONTROL IN THAT AREA. THERE IS A DEFECT TO RECUR. YOUR JOB IS TO FIND OUT WHY THIS HAPPENS REPEATEDLY SO YOU CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM AT ITS ROOT.

                     STEP 5 : ASK, WHAT ARE ALL THE POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS? THE MORE POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS YOU DEVELOP, THE MORE LIKELY YOU WILL COME UP WITH THE RIGHT ONE. THE QUALITY OF THE SOLUTION SEEMS TO BE IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO THE QUANTITY OF SOLUTIONS CONSIDERED IS PROBLEM SOVLING. BEWARE A PROBLE FOR WHICH THERE IS ONLY SOLUTION.

                   STEP 6 : ASK, WHAT IS THE BEST SOLUTION AT THIS TIME ? 

 

                               SOMETIMES , ANY SOLUTION IS BETTER THAN NO SOLUTION. AN AVERAGE SOLUTION VIGOROUSLY EXECUTED IS OFTEN SUPERIOR TO AN EXCELLENT SOLUTION THAT CANNOT BE IMPLEMENTED BECAUSE OF ITS COMPLEXITY OR BECAUSE NO ONE HAS THE ABILITY TO EXECUTE IT.

                              THE RULE IS THAT FULLY 80 PERCENT OF ALL PROBLEMS SHOULD BE DEALT WITH IMMEDIATELY. ONLY 20 PERCENT OF PROBLEMS NEED TO BE PUT OFF TO A LATER TIME. IF YOU MUST PUT OFF A PROBLEM, SET A SPECIFIC DEADLINE FOR MAKING A DECISION ON THAT PROBLEM, AND THEN AMKE YOUR DECISION AT THAT DEADLINE WITH WHATEVER INFORMATION YOU HAVE AT THAT TIME.

                         THERE IS A RULE THAT SAYS THAT EVERY LARGE PROBLEM WAS ONCE A SMALL PROBLEM THAT COULD HAVE BEEN SOLVED EASILY AND INEXPENSIVELY AT THAT TIME. SOMETIMES, THE BEST STRATEGY IS TO "NIP IT IN THE BUD". WHEN IT IS CLEAR THAT THERE IS A PROBLEM AND A SOLUTION, DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE - AND DO IT QUICKLY.

                     STEP 7 : MAKE A DECISION. SELECT A SOLUTION, ANY SOLUTION, AND THEN DECIDE ON A COURSE OF ACTION. ALWAYS ASK, "WHAT IS OUR NEXT ACTION? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?

                   STEP 8 : ASSIGN RESPONSIBILITY : WHO EXACTLY IS GOING TO CARRY OUT THE SOLUTION OR THE DIFFERENT ELEMENTS OF THE SOLUTION? IT IS QUITE COMMON FOR A GROUP TO MEET TO SOLVE A PROBLEM AND TO AGREE ON A SOLUTION, BUT WHEN THE GROUP MEETS AGAIN TWO WEEKS LATER, IT TURNS OUT THAT NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. WHY? NO ONE WAS MADE SPECIFICALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR CARRYING OUT THE DECISION.

                      STEP 9 : SET A MEASURE FOR THE DECISION. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH WITH THIS DECISION, AND HOW WILL YOU MEASURE RESULTS? HOW WILL YOU KNOW THAT IT WORKED? THE MORE ACCURATELY YOU CAN DETERMINE THED RESULT THAT YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE BY THE SOLUTION, THE MORE LIKELY IT IS THAT YOU WILL ACHIEVE IT.

                                                      THE BIG REWARD

                               THE MAIN REWARD YOU GET FOR SOLVING PROBLEMS IS THE OPPORTUNITY TO SOLVE BIGGER AND MORE IMPORTANT PROBLEMS. YOUR RATE OF PAY AND SPEED OF PROMOTION AND THEREFORE YOUR FORWARD MOVEMENT IN YOUR CAREER ARE LARGELY DETERMINED BY YOUR PROBLEM-SOLVING ABILITY. THE MORE YOU FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS, THE MORE SOLUTIONS YOU WILL COME UP WITH, AND THE MORE VALUABLE YOUR CONTIBUTION WILL BE TO YOUR ORGANIZATION.

                       THE FLIP SIDE OF SELF-ESTEEM IS CALLED "SELF-EFFICACY". YOUR LEVEL OF SELF-EFFICACY IS DEFINED AS "HOW COMPETENT YOU FEEL YOU ARE TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS AND ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS".

                       THE MORE COMPETENT YOU FEEL YOU ARE TO SOLVE THE PROBLEMS AND DIFFICULTIES OF DAILY LIFE, THE MORE YOU LIKE YOURSELF. THE MORE CONFIDENT AND COMPETENT YOU BECOME IN SOLVING EVEN LARGER PROBLEMS AND GETTING EVEN MORE IMPORTANT RESULTS.

INGREDIENTS OF HAPPINESS

 

                       FIVE INGREDIENTS OF HAPPINESS

                   SELF-DISCIPLINE IS ESSENTIAL TO HAPPINESS. SELF-DISCIPLINE REQUIRES BOTH THAT YOU DETERMINE CLEARLY WHAT HAPPINESS MEANS TO YOU AND ALSO THAT YOU WORK PROGRESSIVELY EACH DAY TOWARD THE ACHIEVEMENT OF THAT IDEAL CONDITION.

                   IN MY EXPERIENCE AND TEACHINGS, I HAVE FOUND THAT THERE ARE FIVE INGREDIENTS TO HAPPINESS. A SHORTFALL IN ANY OF THESE AREAS CAN CAUSE STRESS, UNHAPPINESS, AND A FEELING OF BEING OUT OF CONTROL.

                                        FIVE INGREDIENTS OF HAPPINESS

                 1. HEALTH AND ENERGY : THIS IS PERHAPS THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT OF A GOOD LIFE. WE STRIVE FOR IT ALL OUR LIVES. IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU ENJOY HIGH LEVELS OF PAIN-FREE HEALTH AND A CONTINUOUS FLOW OF ENERGY THAT YOU FEEL TRULY HAPPY.

                    IN MANY CASES, HEALTH IS A "DEFICIENCY NEED". THIS MEANS THAT YOU DO NOT THIK ABOUT YOUR HEALTH VERY MUCH UNTIL YOU ARE DEPRIVED OF IT. FOR EXAMPLE, YOU DO NOT THINK ABOUT YOUR TEETH UNTIL YOU HAVE A TOOTHACHE. YOU DO NOT THINK ABOUT YOUR BODY UNTIL YOU HAVE ACHES OR PAINS OF SOME KIND.'

             

                  YOU MUST USE DISCIPLINE AND WILL POWER THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE TO ACHIEVE AND MAINTAIN HIGH LEVELS OF HEALTH AND FITNESS. CHAPTERS 16 AND 17 COVER THESE IN MORE DETAIL.

                 HAPPY RELTIONSHIP . FULLY 85 PERCENT OF YOUR HAPPINESS OR HAPPINESS WILL COME FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE. AS ARISTOTLE SAID, 'MAN IS A SOCIAL ANIMAL". WE ARE DESIGNED TO FUNCTION IN SOCIETY, WORKING AND LIVING WITH OTHER PEOPLE AT EVERY STAGE OF OUR LIVES.

                 YOUR ABILITY TO ENTER INTO AND MAINTAIN HIGH-QUALITY RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR SPOUSE, CHILDREN, FRIENDS, COLEAGUES, AND OTHERS IS THE TRUE MEASURE OF THE QUALITY OF YOUR PERSONALITY AND YOUR LEVEL OF MENTAL HEALTH. PEOPLE WITH HIGH LEVELS OF SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-RESPECT GET ALONG BETTER WITH OTHERS AND HAVE MUCH HAPPIER LIVES.

                ONE OF OUR BIGGEST MISTAKES IS TO TAKE OUR RELATIONSHIPS FOR GRANTED, ESPECIALLY OUR MOST IMPORTANT ONES. WE OFTEN DON'T THINK ABOUT THEM UNTIL THERE IS A PROBLEM, AND THEN WE THINK OF NOTHING ELSE.

                  3. MEANINGFUL WORK. TO BE TRULY HAPPY, YOU MUST BE FULLY ENAGAGED WITH LIFE. YOU MUST BE DOING THINGS THAT KEEP YOU ACTIVE AND GIVE YOU A SENSE OF FULFILLMENT. IF YOU ARE MAKING A LIVING, YOU MUST BE DOING WORK THAT YOU ENJOY, DO WELL, AND FOR WHICH YOU ARE WELL PAID.

                PEOPLE ARE TRULY HAPPY ONLY WHEN THEY FEEL THEY ARE MAKING A CONTRIBUTION OF SOME KIND, THAT THEY ARE PUTTING IN MORE THAN THEY ARE TAKING OUT. YOU NEED TO FEEL THAT WHAT YOU DO REALLY MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES AND WORK OF OTHER PEOPLE.

                  IN STUDIES OF EMPLOYEE MOTIVATION, EMPLOYEES THINK THAT PEOPLE ARE PRIMARILY MOTIVATED BY MONEY AND BENEFITS. BUT WHEN EMPLOYEES ARE SURVEYED, AND THREE FACTORS THAT MOTIVATE THEM THE MOST TURN OUT TO BE.

                 CHALLENGING AND INTERESTING WORK,

                 OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH AND ADVANCEMENT, AND 

                 PLEASANT COWORKERS.

               ONE OF YOUR MOST IMPORTANT RESPONSIBILITIES TO YOURSELF IS TO FIND THE RIGHT JOB FOR YOU, AND THEN, ONCE YOU HAVE IT, THROW YOUR WHOLE HEART INTO IT. IF FOR ANY REASON, YOU DO NOT FEEL LIKE PUTTING YOUR WHOLE HEART INTO YOUR WORK, IT MAY BE LACKING ONE OR MORE OF THE THREE ESSENTIALS TO A POSITIVE WORKPLACE. IT MAY BE A SIGN THAT THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR YOU.

              FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE . SOME OF THE GREATEST FEARS WE EXPERIENCE ARE THOSE OF LOSS, FAILURE, AND POVERTY. WE FEAR BEING DESTITUTE, WITHOUT FUNDS, AND DEPENDENT ON OTHERS.

                ONE OF YOUR CHIEF RESPONSIBILITIES TO YOURSELF FREEDOM THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE. THE HAPPIEST OF ALL PEOPLE ARE THOSE WHO HAVED REACHED THE POINT AT WHICH THEY NO LONGER WORRY ABOUT MONEY. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN LEAVE TO CHANCE, BUT RATHER SOMETHING THAT REQUIRES DELIBERATE, PURPOSEFUL ACTION AND TREMENDOUS SELF-DISCIPLINE TO ACHIEVE.

               WHENEVER YOU FEEL THAT THERE IS A BIG GAP BETWEEN WHERE YOU ARE TODAY FINANCIALLY AND WHERE YOU WOULD IDEALLY LIKE TO BE, YOU EXPERIENCES STRESS, WORRY, AND UNHAPPINESS .

                  5. SELF-ACTUALIZATION . THIS IS THE FEELING THAT YOU ARE BECOMING EVERYTHING YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BECOMING. THIS OCCURS WHEN YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE REALIZING MORE AND MORE OF YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL.

                    ABRAHAM MASLOW IS BEST KNOWN FOR HIS HIERARCHY OF NEEDS. HE DETERMINED THAT PEOPLE HAVE BOTH "DEFICIENCY NEEDS" AND "BEING NEEDS". PEOPLE STRIVE EITHER TO COMPENSATE FOR THEIR DEFICIENCIES OR TO REALIZE THEIR POTENTIALS. HE CONCLUDED THAT YOU BEGIN TO EVOLVE AND DEVELOP TO THE HIGHEST LEVELS POSSIBLE FOR YOU ONLY WHEN YOUR DEFICIENCY NEEDS ARE FIRST SATISFIED.

                   DEFICIENCY NEEDS. YOUR FIRST DEFICIENCY NEED IS FOR SAFETY AND SURVIVAL. SATISFYING THIS NEED REQUIRES THAT YOU HAVE SUFFICIENT FOOD, WATER, CLOTHING, AND ACCOMMODATION TO PRESERVE YOUR LIFE AND WELL-BEING. IF FOR ANY REASON YOUR SAFETY OR SURVIVAL IS THREATENED, YOU WILL BECOME TOTALLY PREOCCUPIED WITH SATISFYING THIS NEED. YOU WILL EXPERIENCE TREMENDOUS STRESS, AND YOU WILL BE COMPLETELY UNHAPPY UNTIL YOU ARE SAFE ONCE MORE. FOR EXAMPLE, THINK ABOUT BEING IN A LIFE-THREATENING SITUATION.

                      THE SECOND DEFICIENCY NEED THAT MASLOW IDENTIFIED IS THE NEED FOR SECURITY. THIS NEED EMBRACES FINANCIAL, EMOTIONAL, TO PROVIDE FOR YOURSELF, SECURITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AT WORK AND AT HOME, AND PHYSICAL SECURITY TO ASSURE THAT YOU ARE NOT IN DANGER OF ANY KIND. IF YOUR SECURITY NEEDS ARE THREATENED, YOU BECOME COMPLETELY PREOCCUPIED WITH THEM. FOR EXAMPLE, THINK ABOUT LOSING YOUR JOB SUDDENLY, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

                   THE THIRD DEFICIENCY NEED THAT MASLOW IDENTIFIED IS BELONGINGNESS. EACH PERSON HAS A NEED TO BE IN SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS, BOTH AT HOME AT WORK. YOU NEED TO BE RECOGNIZED AND ACCEPTED BY OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR WORLD. EACH PERSON NEEDS TO BE COMFORTABLE IN HIS OR HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS AND SEEN AND ACCEPTED AS PART OF A TEAM OR GROUP.

               SELF-ESTEEM NEEDS. ONCE YOU HAVE ACHIEVED A SUFFICIENT LEVEL OF EACH OF THESE BASIC NEEDS - SAFETY, SECURITY, AND BELONGINGNESS - YOU THEN TURN OF SATISFY THE HIGHER NEEDS FOR SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-WORTH, YOUR BEING NEEDS. YOUR SELF-ESTEEM  AND SELF-WORTH, YOUR BEING NEEDS. YOUR SELF-ESTEEM IS THE CORE OF YOUR PERSONALITY AND LARGELY DETERMINES HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU. EVERYTHING YOU DO IN LIFE IS EITHER TO INCREASE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM OR TO PROTECT IT FROM BEING DIMINISHED.

                 YOUR SELF-ESTEEM -HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF AND HOW MUCH YOU LIKE AND VALUE YOURSELF- DETERMINES YOUR HAPPINESS MORE THAN ANY OTHER SINGLE FACTOR. YOUR SELF-ESTEEM COMES FROM MANY FACTORS. WHEN YOU ARE LIKED AND ACCEPTED BY OTHERS, LIVING CONSISTENTLY WITH YOUR HIGHEST VALUES, DOING A GOOD JOB AND BEING RECOGNIZED FOR IT, AND MOVING PROGRESSIVELY TOWARD THE ACHIEVEMENT OF YOUR GOALS AND IDEALS, THEN YOU NATURALLY FEEL HAPPY AND SATISFIED. YOU FEEL VALUABLE AND VERY MUCH IN CONTROL.

                   THE HIGHEST HUMAN NEED. THE HIGHEST NEED TAT MASLOW IDENTIFIED WAS FOR SELF-ACTUALIZATION. HE CONCLUED THAT LESS THAN 2 PERCENT OF THE POPULATION EVER REACHES THIS HEIGHT OF PERSONAL FULLFILLMENT. MOST PEOPLE REMAIN SO PREOCCUPIED WITH THEIR DEFICIENCY NEEDS AND PROTECTING OR ENHANCING THEIR SELF-ESTEEM AND THEIR EGO NEEDS THAT THEY GIVE LITTLE THOUGHT OR EFFORT TO SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

                 BUT IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE TREMENDOUS PERSONAL POTENTIAL AND BEGIN STRIVING TO DO, BE, AND HAVE MORE THAN EVER BEFORE IN SOME AREA THAT YOU BEGIN TO EXPERIENCE SELF-ACTUALIZATION AND TRUE HAPPINESS.

                 THE HAPPIEST OF ALL PEOPLE ARE THOSE WHO FEEL THAT THEY ARE DOING SOMETHING WORTHWHILE AND IMPORTANT WITH THEIR LIVES. THEY FEEL THEY ARE STRETCHING AND MOVING BEYOND ANYTHING THEY'RE EVER DONE BEFORE. PEOPLE DEVOTED TO SELF-ACTUALIZATION MAY BE WRITING BOOKS OR CREATING WORKS OF ART. THEY MAY BE CLIMBING MOUNTAINS OR COMPETING IN SPORTS. THEY MAY BE BUILDING BUSINESS OR SCALING THE HEIGHTS OF THEIR PROFESSIONS.

                  THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT SELF-ACTUALIZATION NEEDS IS THAT THEY CAN NEVER BE COMPLETELY SATISFIED. AS YOU CONTINUALLY STRIVE THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE TO BE AND HAVE AND DO MORE THAN EVER BEFORE, YOU EXPERIENCE A STEADY FLOW OF HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT. YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE OF WHAT YOU WERE TRULY MEANT TO BECOME.

                                                  NEVER BE SATISFIED

             IN EACH OF THESE AREAS, WHENEVER YOU EXACT SELF-DISCIPLINE AND WILLPOWER TO OVERCOME THE TENDENCY TO TAKE THE EASY WAY, YOU FEE HAPPIER ABOUT YOURSELF. WHEN YOU TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR DREAMS AND THEN DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO KEEP GOING IN SPITE OF ALL OBSTACLES AND HARDSHIPS, YOU FEEL POWERFUL. YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-CONFIDENCE INCREASE, AND THEN AS YOU MOVE, STEP BY STEP, TOWARD YOUR IDEAS, YOU FEEL GENUINELY HAPPY.

                 IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO INCORPORATE SELF-DISCIPLINE INTO YOUR DAILY HEALTH HABITS TO ENSURE THAT YOU LIVE A LONG, HAPPY, HEALTHY LIFE.

EACH DAY TWO HOURS FOR YOU

                      TWO HOURS EACH DAY 

                            WILL GET YOU TO THE TOP

                    IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT ALL YOU NEED TO INVEST IS ABOUT TWO EXTRA HOURS PER DAY TO MOVE FROM THE AVERAGE TO THE SUPERIOR. ONLY TWO EXTRA HOURS EACH DAY WILL MOVE YOU FROM WORRYING ABOUT MONEY ALL YOUR LIFE TO BEING ONE OF THE HIGHEST PAID PEOPLE IN YOUR FIELD.

                 PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY ASK, WHERE AM I GOING TO GET AN EXTRA TWO HOURS EACH DAY?"

                 IT'S SIMPLE : TALE A OF PAPER AND DO THE FOLLOWING SIMPLE CALCULATION :

               * CALCULATE THE NUMBER OF HOURS IN A WEEK: 7 DAYS TIMES 24 HOURS EQUALS 168 HOURS.

              * IF YOU DEDUCT FORTY HOURS FOR WORK AND FIFTY-SIX HOURS FOR SLEEP, YOU HAVE SEVENTY-TWO HOURS LEFT OVER.

 

              * IF YOU DEDUCT THREE HOURS PER DAY (TWENTY-ONE HOURS) FOR GETTING READY OR AND TRAVELLING TO AND FROM WORK, THAT LEAVES YOU FIFTY-ONE HOURS OF SPARE TIME TO DO WITH AS YOU PLEASE.

              * IF YOU INVEST TWO HOURS PER DAY BACK INTO YOURSELF, FOURTEEN HOURS PERWEEK, YOU STILL HAVE THIRTY-SEVEN HOURS LEFT OVER. THAT'S AN AVERAGE OF MORE THAN FIVE HOURS PER DAY OF FREE TIME.

                 ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS DEVOTE TWO HOURS EACH DAY TO MOVE YOU FROM AVERAGE PERFORMANCE TO SUPERIOR PERFORMANCE AT WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO DO.

                    FORM THE HABIT OF CONTINUOUS LEARNING

                 THE BEST NEWS IS THAT WHEN YOU BEGIN READING PERSONAL OR PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT LITERATURE, LISTENING TO AUDIO PROGRAMS IN YOUR CAR, TAKING ADDIONAL COURSES, AND UPGRADING YOUR SKILLS IN THE EVENINGS AND ON THE WEEKENDS RATHER THAN WATCHING TELEVISION, YOU SOON GET INTO THE HABIT OF CONTINUOUS LEARNING. IN NO TIME AT ALL, IT WILL BECOME AUTOMATIC AND EASY FOR YOU TO LEARN, GROW AND UPGRADE YOUR SKILLS EVERY AY AND EVERY WEEK.

                   THE AVERAGE ADULT WATCHES ABOUT FIVE HOURS OF TELEVISION EACH DAY. FOR SOME PEOPLE, IT IS SEVEN OR EIGHT HOURS. THEY TURN ON THE TELEVISION FIRST THING IN THE MORNING AND WATCH IT UNTIL  THEY LEAVE FOR WORK. THEY TURN IT BACK ON AS SOON AS THEY GET HOME FROM WORK. THEY THEN WATCH TELEVISION UNTIL 11 OR 12 O'CLOCK AT NIGHT, GOING TO BED WITHOUT ENOUGH TIME TO GET A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP. THEY THEN GET UP IN THE MORNING, DRINK COFFEE, AND WATCH TELEVISION FOR AS LONG AS THEY CAN BEFORE THEY GO OFF TO WORK ONCE MORE.

                                           YOU CAN BE RICH OR POOR :

                                                        IT'S YOUR DECISION

                    YOUR TELEVISION SET CAN MAKE YOU RICH OR POOR. IF YOU WATCH IN ALL THE TIME, IT WILL MAKE YOU POOR. PSYCHOLOGISTS HAVE SHOWN THAT THE MORE TELEVISION YOU WATCH, THE LOWER ARE YOUR LEVELS OF ENERGY AND SELF-ESTEEM. AT AN UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL, YOU DON'T LIKE OR RESPECT YOURSELF AS MUCH IF YOU SIT THERE HOUR AFTE RHOUR WATCHING TELEVISION. PEOPLE WHO WATCH TOO MUCH TELEVISION ALSO GAIN WEIGHT AND BECOME PHYSICALLY UNFIT FROM SITTING AROUND TOO MUCH.

                    YOUR TELEVISION CAN ALSO MAKE YOU RICH -BUT ONLY IF YOU TURN IT OFF. WHEN YOU TURN OFF YOUR TELEVISION, YOU FREE UP TIME THAT YOU CAN THEN USE TO INVEST IN BECOMING A BETTER, SMARTER, AND MORE COMPETENT PERSON. WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR TELEVISION OFF WHEN YOU ARE WITH YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF TALKING, SHARING, COMMNUCATING, AND LAUGHING MORE PERIODS OF TIME, YOU BREAK THE HABIT OF WATCHING TELEVISION - AND YOU WILL HARDLY MISS IT AT ALL. YOUR TELEVISION CAN BE AND EXCELLENT SERVANT, BUT IT'S A TERRIBLE MASTER. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.

                                INCREASE YOUR INCOME 1000 PERCENT

                    THERE IS A SIMPLE SEVEN-STEP FORMULA YOU CAN USE IN ORDER TO INCREASE YOUR PRODUCTIVITY, PERFORMANCE, OUTPUT, AND INCOME BY 1000 PERCENT OVER THE NEXT TEN YEARS. IT WORKS FOR EVERYONE WHO TRIES IT. IT IS SIMPLE:

                      FIRST, ANSWER THIS QUESTION : IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO INCREASE YOUR OVERALL PRODUCTIVITY, PERFORMANCE, AND OUTPUT BY 1/10 OF 1 PERCENT (I/1000TH) IN AN ENTIRE WORKING DAY? YOUR ANSWER WILL PROBABLY BE "YES" . IF YOU WERE TO MANAGE YOUR TIME A LITTLE BETTER, AND WORK ON MORE VALUABLE TASKS, YOU WOULD QUITE EASILY INCREASE YOUR OUTPUT BY 1/1000 IN A DAY.

                 HAVING DONE THIS FOR THE FIRST DAY, COULD YOU INCREASE YOUR OUTPUT BY 1/10 OF 1 PERCENT THE SECOND DAY? AND THE ANSWER, OF COURSE, IS "YES".

                    HAVING INCREASED YOUR PERFORMANCE BY 1/10 OF 1 PERCENT ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY, COULD YOU CONTINUE TO DO IT FOR WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, AND FRIDAY? AND AGAIN, THE ANSWER IS "YES".