TYPES OF SELF-TALK

 

                         THE DEFINITION OF SELF-TALK

 

                            WHAT IS SELF-TALK, AND HOW DOES IT WORK? THE DEFINITION OF SELF-TALK, AS WE'RE USING IT THROUGHOUT THIS BOOK, CAN BE SIMPLY STATED. SELF-TALK IS A WAY TO OVERRIDE OUR PAST NEGATIVE PROGRAMMING BY ERASING OR REPLACING IT WITH CONSCIOUS, NEW POSITIVE DIRECTIONS. SELF-TALK IS A PRACTICAL WAY TO LIVE OUR LIVES BY ACTIVE INTENT RATHER THAN BY PASSIVE ACCEPTANCE.

                              WITH SELF-TALK, WE HAVE A WAY TO GIVE NEW DIRECTIONS TO OUR SUBCONSCIOUS MINDS BY TALKING TO OURSELVES IN A DIFFERENT WAY, CONSCIOUSLY REPROGRAMMING OUR INTERNAL CONTROLS CENTERS WITH WORDS AND STATEMENTS THAT ARE MORE EFFECTIVE, MORE HELPFUL TO EVERY PART OF US THAT WE WOULD LIKE TO IMPROVE. THE SELF-TALK STATEMENTS PAINT A NEW INTERNAL PICTURE OF OURSELVES AS WE WOULD MOST LIKE TO BE.

                             SELF-TALK GIVES EACH OF US A WAY TO CHANGE WHAT WE WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE, EVEN IF WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO SO IN THE PAST, IT OFFERS US THE CHANCE TO STOP BEING THE OLD SELF AND START BEING A DIFFERENT, BETTER SELF, A SELF THAT IS NO LONGER THE PRODUCT OF CONDITIONED RESPONSE BUT GOVERNED INSTEAD BY PERSONAL CHOICE.

                     ACTUALLY, THERE ARE SEVERAL KINDS OF SELF-TALK. EACH OF US, EACH DAY, MAY USE ANY OF FIVE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SELF-TALK . EACH LEVEL IS SPECIFIC AND DISTINCT FROM THE OTHERS. SOME OF THE LEVELS WORK FOR US, AND SOME WORK AGAINST US. THE MORE YOU KNOW ABOUT EACH OF THEM, THE FASTER AND MORE EASILY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO MASTER USING THE RIGHT KIND OF SELF-TALK FOR YOURSELF.

                THE LEVEL OF NEGATIVE ACCEPTANCE

                  THE FIVE LEVELS OF SELF-TALK AT THE LOWEST, LEAST BENEFICIAL LEVEL. AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST - AND THE MOST HARMFUL SELF-TALK WE CAN USE - IS LEVEL 1, THE LEVEL OF NEGATIVE ACCEPTANCE. THAT IS SELF-TALK BY WHICH YOU SAY SOMETHING BAD OR NEGATIVE ABOUT YOURSELF, AND YOU ACCEPT IT.

                    EARLIER, WE DISCUSSED SEVERAL DOZEN COMMONLY USED SELF-TALK STATEMENTS AND PHRASES. ALL OF THEM WERE LEVEL 1 SELF-TALK. THIS LEVEL IS EASY TO SPOT. IT IS ALMOST ALWAYS CHARACTERIZED BY THE WORDS, "I CAN'T... OR IF ONLY I COULD ... OR I WISH I COULD ... AND SO ON. ALL LEVEL 1 SELF-TALK WORKS AGAINST US, AND UNFORTUNTELY, IT IS THE MOST FREQUENTLY USED SELF-TALK OF ALL.

                    I JUST DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY I USED TO, "I COULD NEVER DO THAT, I JUST CAN'T SEEM  TO LOSE WEIGHT, WELL, I JUST DON'T KNOW, TODAY'S JUST NOT MY DAY, AND I JUST CAN'T ARE TYPICAL OF THE KINDS OF DOUBTS, FEARS, MISGIVINGS, AND HESITATIONS WE PROGRAM OURSELVES WITH WHEN WE SAY ANY LEVEL 1 SELF-TALK PHRASE TO OURSELVES, OUT LOUD, SILENTLY, OR TO SOMEONE ELSE. REMEMBER, THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND IS LISTENING AND WAITING FOR OUR INSTRUCTIONS, AND IT DOESN'T CARE WHAT WE TELL IT, IT JUST DOES WHAT WE INSTRUCT IT TO DO!

                     LEVEL 1 SELF-TALK REPRESENTS EVERYTHING FROM OUR SIMPLEST MISGIVINGS TO THE WORST FEARS WE HAVE ABOUT OURSELVES. IT IS OUR WAY TO TELLING TO HESITATE, QUESTION OUR CAPABILITIES, AND ACCEPT LESS THAN WE KNOW WE COULD HAVE DONE, HAD WE ONLY GIVEN OURSELVES A CHANCE. IT IS OUR WAY OF TIMIDLY HIDING IN THE SHADOWS INSTEAD OF BOLDLY THRIVING IN THE SUNSHINE.

                    THERE IS NO WAY TO ESTIMATE THE AMOUNT OF HAVOC AND MISDIRECTION THAT LEVEL 1 SELT-TALK WREAKS IN OUR LIVES. IT CLUTTERS,BLOCKS, AND CONFUSES. IT TURNS SELF-ASSURANCE INTO SELF-DOUBT AND CHAOS.  IT CRIPPLES OUR BEST INTENTIONS AND SEDUCES US INTO BECOMING SATISFIED WITH MEDIOCRITY. IT IS THE HEART OF A "GET BY" ATTITUDE, ITS SUBTLE WHISPERS TELLING US TO PASSIVELY ACCEPT A FATE FAR LESS GREAT THAN WE HAD ONCE DREAMED OF ATTAINING. IT IS THE MYTHICAL SIREN THAT DRAW US ONTO THE SHORE, DASHING OUR HOPES ON REEFS OF DESPAIR AND COMPLACENCY.

                      IMAGINE GOING THROUGH YOUR LIFE USING THAT KIND OF SELF-TALK ON YOURSELF!

THE KEY OF LIFE

 

                            FORGETTING THE KEYS 

                                  AS YOU BECOME SUCCESSFUL,

                        DO NOT FORGET THE KEYS TO HAPPINESS.

                     HAPPINESS RESIDES NOT IN POSSESSIONS, AND NOT IN GOLD,

                     HAPPINESS DWELLS IN THE SOUL'.

                     IT MAY HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE TO PUBLICLY ANNOUNCE THAT MY FAVOURITE CUISINE COMES FROM THE SOUTH OF INDIA, BECAUSE THE WHOLE YEAR, IT WAS SAMBER FOR BREAKFAST, SAMBAR FOR LUNCH AND SAMBAR FOR DINNER. INFACT, SAMBARS FOLLOWED ME EVERYWHERE I WENT. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW, SAMBAR IS A LENTIL BASED VEGETABLE STEW,  WHICH ACCOMPANIES FAMOUS RICE-BASED DISHES SUCH AS DOSA OR IDLI. FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM TO AUSTRALIA, EVERYONE WHO INVITED ME TO THEIR HOME FED ME THEIR VERSION OF THIS MUCH-LOVED LENTIL SOUP. HAVING HAD SO MUCH OF IT, IT WAS ONLY NATURAL THAT I BECAME A CONNOISSEUR OF THE DISH, I KNEW WHERE TO FIND THE BEST SAMBAR IN ANY TOWN, LET ALONE MY OWN. AND THAT IS WHERE OUR STORY BEGINS.

                     ALTHOUGH I GREW UP IN PUNE, MY HEART LIES IN A SIMPLE ASHRAM, PARADOXICALLY SITUATED AMIDST THE SKYLINE OF DOWNTOWN MUMBAI.. I HAVE LIVED THERE AS A MONK FOR TWENTY-TWO YEARS, WHERE I HAVE NOT ONLY BEEN STUDYING ANCIENT EASTERN WISDOM FOR MY ENRICHMENT, BUT ALSO LEARNING HOW TO SHARE ITS PRACTICAL APPLICATION WITH THE WORLD. PEOPLE WHO ATTEND MY LECTURES REGULARLY INVITE ME TO HAVE LUNCH AT THEIR HOMES BUT, TO THEIR DISSAPPOINTMENT, I USUALLY DECLINE. AS A MONK, I HAVE TO BE CAUTIONS OF OVERINDULGENCE, IT IS ESSENTIAL TO STAY REGULATED IN OUR HABITS. BUT AFTER MONTHS OF PLEADING, I HESITANTLY ACCEPTED AN INVITATION TO GO TO MR. AND MRS IYER'S HOME, A DECISION WHICH WOULD DEEPEN MY UNDERSTANDING OF HAPPINESS IN THE LONG RUN.

                     MUMBAI IS NOTORIOUSLY HUMID IN MID-MAY. IT'S THE TYPE OF STICKY HUMIDITY IN WHICH YOUR SWEAT CAUSES YOUR SHIRT TO STICK TO YOUR BACK. BUT ONE ONLY FELT LIKE THAT AT SEA LEVEL, NOT IN THE CLOUD-BOUND APARTMENT OF HARIPRASAD AND LALITA IYER SITUATED IN A HIGH-RISE IN ELEGANT. WORLI. THIS AREA OF MUMBAI LONDON.  INDEED, IF THERE WERE A VERSION OF THE BOARD GAME MONOPLY FOR MUMBAI, YOU WOULD BE PAYING A HEFTY PRICE IF YOU LANDED ON WORLD'S DISTINGUISHED TOWERS. PALAIS ROYALE OR OMKAR 1973. AND, HERE I WAS, A MONK WITH HARDLY A RUPEE TO MY NAME, ENJOYING THE COOLING BREEZ FROM THE ARABIAN SEA ON THE TWENTY-EIGHTH-FLOOR HOME OF MY GRACIOUS HOSTS. A WORLD OF CAUTIONS I HAVE CHANGED THE NAMES IN THIS STORY. THIS ADJUSTMENTS  IS NOT ONLY TO BE SENSITIVE TOWARDS THE COUPLE WHOSE SECRETS I AM ABOUT TO SHARE, BUT ALSO TO AVOID OFFENDING THOSE WHO HAVE EVER FED ME SAMBAR THAT DIDN'T LIVE UP TO THE STANDARD SET BY THE IYERS.

                        

          

MOTIVATION OF THE DAY (SELF-TALK)

 

                                    

                                            SELF-TALK

                      THE RADIO TALK SHOW HOST WAS SAYING, "MY GUEST TODAY IS A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER AND AN AUTHOR IN THE FIELD OF MOTIVATION". HE CONCLUDED HIS INTRODUCTION TO THE PROGRAM BY TURNING TO ME ACROSS THE MICROPHONE AND SAYING, "SHAD, ARE YOU ONE OF THESE GUYS WHO GETS AUDIENCES JUMPING IN THE AISLES AND READY TO RUN OUT AND CONQUER THE WORLD"?.

                     I THINK MY ANSWER SURPRISED HIM. MY RESPONSES WAS, NO, I'M NOT. IN FACT, I REALLY DON'T BELIEVE IN MOTIVATION".

                      THE NEXT FEW MOMENTS MAY HAVE BEEN THE FIRST TIME THERE WAS THAT MUCH DEAD SILENCE ON HIS RADIO SHOW. HE HAD BEEN PREPARED TO TALK ABOUT EXCITING WORLD OF MOTIVATION, AND HE HAD JUST REALIZED THAT HIS GUEST WAS ABOUT TO SAY IT DOESN'T WORK.

                       BUT LET ME CLARIFY. SOME MOTIVATION WORKS. IT'S JUST THAT MOST OF IT, MAYBE 95 PERCENT OF IT, DOESN'T , I RECALL READING THE COMMENT FROM THE TRAINING DIRECTOR OF A LARGE INTERNATIONAL CORPORATON. HE WAS INTERVIEWED BY A NATIONAL MAGAZINE, AND THE TOPIC WAS ON WHAT IS NEW IN TRAINING - PRINCIPALLY IN THE FIELD OF CORPORATION AND LARGE ORGANIZATIONS. HE SAID THAT HIS COMPANY HAD DECIDED TO STOP HIRING SPEAKERS WHO WERE MOTIVATIONAL WITHOUT BEING INSTRUCTIONAL. A MOTIVATIONAL TALK, HE HAD CONCLUDED, WAS MUCH LIKE THE OLD SAYING ABOUT EATING CHINESE FOOD FOR LUNCH, AN HOUR LATER, YOU'RE HUNGRY AGAIN. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S REALLY TRUE ABOUT CHINESE FOOD, BUT IT IS TRUE ABOUT MOTIVATION. MOST MOTIVATION SIMPLY DOESN'T STICK. IT DOESN'T STAY WITH YOU.

                   THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MOTIVATION, AND DIFFERENT KINDS OF MOTIVATORS, ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR KINDS OF MOTIVATION CONSISTS OF AN AUDIENCE OF LISTENERS, SITTING ENTHRALLED WHILE A DYNAMATICALLY ENTHUSIASTIC SPEAKER WEAVES FOR THEM A WEB OF PURE MAGIC, THE SPUN GOLD OF RICHES AND SUCCESS. FOR AN HOUR OR TWO HE WILL IMBUE HIS LISTENERS WITH A NEW SENSE IF DESTINY, A GRAND NEW VISION OF THEIR UNLIMITED SELVES, ALL OF THEM CAPABLE OF SCALING THE HIGHEST MOUNTAINS OF THIER IMAGINATION, IF ONLY THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY CAN.

                         THE MEMBERS OF THE AUDIENCE ARE GIVEN A NEW LEASE ON LIFE, THE OLY PAYMENT REQUIRED IS THAT THEY BEGIN THE NEXT DAY AS THE NEW PERSON, CONQUERING ALL ODDS, LAYING WASTE TO THEIR LIMITATIONS, FOCUSING ON THE GOAL AND GOING FOR IT. IF YOU HAVE EVER ATTENDED A MOTIVATIONAL TALK SUCH AS I AM DESCRIBING, YOU KNOW THAT I MAY BE UNDERSTANDING THE MAGNITUDE OF THE MESMERIZING THAT TAKES PLACE.

                    COMPANIES AND GROUPS OF ALL SIZES AND DESCRIPTIONS RELY ON THAT KIND OF MOTIVATIONS TO PEP UP THEIR PEOPLE, GIVE A HIGH POINT TO THEIR CONVENTIONS AND SALS MEETINGS, AND SEND THE TROOPS AWAY, READY TO GO OUT AND FIGHT DRAGONS, CLOSE MORE SALES, FIX PROBLEMS FAST, AND REACH NEW HEIGHTS OF ACHIEVEMENT.

                       POPULAR SPEAKERS, DYNAMIC ORATORS, ENLIGHTENING THE FAITHFUL WITH THE CONTAGIOUS ZEAL OF THE GREATEST SUNDAY MORNING SERMONS, CONVINCE THEIR LISTENERS OF THEIR ULTIMATE POTENTIAL. AND THEY DO THEIR BEST TO DO WHAT THEY CAME THERE TO DO, TO MOTIVATE.

                        THESE MOTIVATORS DO A GOOD JOB OF GETTING PEOPLE THINKING. THEY PAINT PICTURES, A GALLERY OF SUGGESTED DREAMS, THAT SHOW OTHERS WHAT THEY CAN BE, AND WHAT THEY CAN DO. THEY PAINT THE PICTURE OF SUCCESS, LEADING THE  AVERAGE WOULD-BE ACHIEVER TOWARD SOMETHING BETTER. THEY STIMULATE MINDS, INSPIRE NEW IDEAS, AND REAFFIRM THE RESOLVE TO GET AT IT, GET SOMETHING DONE, ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING WORTHWHILE, SET SOME GOALS, TACKLE THE PROBLEMS, AND MOVE FORWARD.

                      BUT THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THAT KIND OF MOTIVATION. NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT IS, IT IS EXTERNAL,AND  IT DOES NOT LAST.

                   EXTERNAL TEMPORARY MOTIVATION

                         ALL EXTERNAL MOTIVATION IS TEMPORARY. EXTERNAL MOTIVATION IS THE KIND THAT MAY WAY UP, BUT IT WILL NOT KEEP YOU AWAKE FOR LONG. EXTERNAL MOTIVATION IS MOTIVATION THAT COMES TO YOU FROM THE OUTSIDE. IT MAY INFLUENCE YOU TO MAKE A CHANGE, BUT IT CANNOT MAKE THE CHANGE FOR YOU. AND IT CANNOT KEEP YOU FROM DRIFTING OFF COURSE WHEN THE MOTIVATOR IS GONE. IT IS THE EXTERNAL COACH WHO SUPPORTS, ENCOURAGES, DEMANDS, AND REWARDS. BUT WHEN THE COACH IS GONE, SO ARE THE SUPPORT, THE ENCOURAGEMENT, THE DEMAND, AND THE REWARD.

                    LET'S SAY THAT DURING THE SUMMER MONTHS, YOU PLAY SOFTBALL ON A TEAM THAT HAS THE GOAL OF WINNING THE LOCAL TOURNAMENT. YOUR TEAM IS FORTUNATE TO HAVE AN EXCEPTIONAL COACH. HE EXPECTS A LOT FROM YOU, BUT HE ALSO GIVES YOU A LOT OF ENCOURAGEMENT. HE PICKS YOU UP WHEN YOU GET DOWN, HELPS YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN WIN, AND LETS YOU KNOW IT WHEN YOU'VE DONE A GOOD JOB. HE'S A GREAT MOTIVATOR, AND HE TAKES YOUR TEAM ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP. HE IS YOUR FRIEND, YOUR ALLY, AND YOUR STRONGEST SUPPORTER. YOU RELY ON HIM FOR YOUR MOTIVATION, AND YOU GET IT.

                   THEN THE SEASON IS OVER, AND THE COACH GOES HOME. WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE HE TAKES WITH HIM? YOUR MOTIVATION. HE WAS YOUR MOTIVATION. NOW HE IS NO LONGER AROUND, YOU YOU HAVE TO GET, YOUR MOTIVATION FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE. WHY? BECAUSE THAT MOTIVATION WAS EXTERNAL. IT ALL CAME TO YOU FROM THE OUTSIDE OF YOU. AND IT WAS ALL TEMPORARY MOTIVATION.

                     ALL OF OUR EXTERNAL MOTIVATION WORKS THE SAME WAY. KEEP GIVING US THE MOTIVATION, AND WE WILL DO BETTER. TAKE IT AWAY, AND WE WILL MOVE, MENTALLY, BACK TO WE WERE BEFORE THE MOTIVATION BEGAN. WE MAY HAVE PROGRESSED OR GROWN OR ACHIEVED SOMETHING IN THE PROCESS. BUT WE DID SOWITH SOMEONE ELSE'S ENERGY, IT WAS NOT OUR OWN.

               THAT IS WHY SO MANY OF THE HOPEFUL ATTENDEES AT SO MANY MOTIVATIONAL TALKS GET PUMPED UP FULL OF ENERGY, READY TO CONQUER THE WORLD, AND THEN SLOW DOWN OR STOP DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS WEEKS, DAYS, OR EVEN HOURS AFTER THE SPEECH IS OVER. THE INSPIRATION THEY FELT SO STRONGLY DURING THE MESSAGE IS NO LONGER THERE. THE ENERGY AND ENTHUSIASM THAT WELLED UP INSIDE OF THEM IS GONE. THE MOTIVATOR LEFT TOWN. AND SO DID MOST OF THE DREAM. ALL THAT OFTEN REMAINS IS ENOUGH LEFT OVER TO REMIND THEM OF WHAT THEY COULD HAVE DONE, BUT DIDN'T DO.

DONT DO IT

 

                           WAKE UP WITH POSITIVITY

                  WHILE MOST SELF-TALK IS EITHER UNCONSCIOUS OR GOES UNNOTICED, SOME SELF-TALK IS GLARINGLY OVBIOUS, AND, NOT SURPRISINGLY, CLEARLY, SELF-DEFEATING. ALTHOUGH SOME OF THE SELF-TALK PEOPLE USE IS CONSTRUCTIVE AND BENEFICIAL, MOST OF IT IS THE OPPOSITE - THE KIND OF SELF-TALK THAT IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE AND SELF-DEFEATING.

                   FOR A PERIOD OF TIME DURING MY QUEST FOR A MORE PRACTICAL PATH TO LASTING SELF-IMPROVEMENT, TO SEE JUST HOW PERVASIVE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK MIGHT BE, EACH TIME I HEARD AN EXAMPLE OF THIS KIND OF SELF-TALK, I WROTE IT DOWN. IN TIME, I HEARD AN EXAMPLE OF THIS KIND OF SELF-TALK, I WROTE IT DOWN. IN TIME, MY LIST INCLUDED HUNDREDS OF SELF-TALK STATEMENTS THAT ARE MADE BY PEOPLE - EVERY DAY. MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO USE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK ARE NOT AWARE OF WHAT THEY ARE SAYING. AND FEW, IF ANY, OF THEM ARE AWARE OF THE POWER OF THE PROGRAMMING - THE NEGATIVE PROGRAMMING - THEY ARE GIVING THEMSELVES.

                  IF EVERTHING YOU TELL YOURSELF ABOUT YOURSELF BECOMES A DIRECTIVE TO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, THEN ANYTIME YOU MAKE A STATEMENT ABOUT YOURSELF THAT IS NEGATIVE, YOU ARE DIRECTING YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND TOMAKE YOU BECOME THE PERSON YOU JUST DESCRIBED - NEGATIVELY.

                 HERE ARE JUST A FEW EXAMPLES OF FREQUENCY USED NEGATIVE SELF-TALK. AS YOU READ THEM, SEE IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO SAYS SOMETHING SIMILAR, OR IF YOU HAVE SAID SOMETHING LIKE ANY OF THESE YOURSELF.

                  * I CAN'T  REMEMBER NAMES.

                  * IT'S GOING TO BE ANOTHER OF THOSE DAYS.

                  * IT'S JUST NO USE.

                  * I JUST KNOW IT WON'T WORK.

                  * NOTHING EVER GOES RIGHT FOR ME.

                  * THAT'S JUST MY LUCK.

                  * I'M SO CLUMSY.

                  * I DON'T HAVE THE TALENT.

                  * I'M JUST NOT CREATIVE.

                  * EVERTHING I EAT GOES RIGHT TO MY WAIST.

                  * I CAN'T SEEM TO GET ORGANIZED.

                  * I ALREADY KNOW I WON'T LIKE IT.

                  * NO MATTER WHAT I DO I CAN'T SEEM TO LOSE WEIGHT.

                  * I NEVER HAVE ENOUGH TIME.

                  * I JUST DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR THAT.

                  * THAT REALLY MAKE ME MAD.

                  * ANOTHER BLUE MONDAY.

                  * WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN.

                  * I GET STICK JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.

                  * SOMETIMES I JUST HATE YOURSELF.

                  * I'M JUST NO GOOD.

                  * I'M TOO SHY.

                  * I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

                  * WITH MY LUCK I DON'T HAVE A CHANCE.

                  * THINGS JUST AREN'T WORKING OUT RIGHT FOR ME.

                  * I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY I USED TO.

                  * I AM REALLY OUT OF SHAPE.

                  * I NEVER HAVE ANY MONEY LEFT OVER AT THE END OF THE MONTH.

                  * WHY SHOULD I TRY, IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK ANYWAY.

                  * I'VE NEVER BEEN ANY GOOD AT THAT.

                  * MY DESK IS ALWAYS A MESS.

                  * THE ONLY KIND OF LUCK I HAVE IS BAD LUCK.

                 * I NEVER WIN ANYTHING.

                 * I FEEL THAT I'M OVER THE HILL.

                 * SOMEONE ALWAYS BEATS ME TO IT.

                 * NOBODY LIKES ME.

                 * I NEVER GET A BREAK.

                 * IT SEEMS LIKE I'M ALWAYS BROKE.

                 * EVERYTHING I TOUCH TURNS TO BLEEP.

 

                       IMAGINE SITTING DOWN AT YOUR PERSONAL COMPUTER KEYBOARD AND TYPING ANY ONE OF THOSE DIRECTIONS INTO THE COMPUTER'S PERMANENT MEMORY STORAGE. AND IMAGINE THAT YOUR COMPUTER WILL DO WHATEVER YOU PROGRAM IT TO DO.

                      THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT DO TO OUR BRAINS. NO WONDER THINGS GO WRONG. NO WONDER THINGS DON'T WORK OUT RIGHT! IF YOUR MENTAL COMPUTER - THE ONE THAT FLIES YOUR PLANE - IF PROGRAMMED WITH THE WRONG DIRECTIONS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY BE AS SUCCESSFUL AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE, YOU CANNOT GET WHERE YOU WANT TO GO.

THE USES OF SELF-TALK

 

                         WHENEVER YOUR NEED

                                   OR POSITION IN LIFE

                       WHEN YOU BEGIN TO ACTIVELY PRACTICE SELF-TALK, WHAT YOU FIRST USE IT FOR WILL DEPEND ON WHAT YOU WANT TO FIX FIRE HABIT - THE MORE YOU USE IT, THE MORE YOU USE IT - ITS SUCCESS WILL DEPEND MORE ON GETTING STARTED THAN ON WHAT YOU DECIDE TO USE IT FOR FIRST.

                        IT MAKES TO DIFFERENCE WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING, WHAT YOUR EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND IS, WHAT YOUR PROBLEMS MAY BE, OR WHAT YOUR GOALS ARE. IT DOESN'T WHETHER YOU HAVE SUCCEEDEDOR FAILED IN THE PAST, THE WORKINGS OF THE HUMAN BRAIN ARE COMPLETELY INDIFFERENT TO YOUR SITUATION IN LIFE. ANYONE CAN USE SELF-TALK AND BENEFIT FROM ITS RESULTS.

                 TO GIVE YOU JUST A FEW EXAMPLES OF THE MANY WAYS IN WHICH THE USE OF ACTIVE SELF-TALK CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE, LET'S LOOK AT SOME OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES IN OUR LIVES THAT CAN BE HELPED OR IMPROVED WITH THE KIND OF SELF-TALK WE'RE DISCUSSING. THE POSSIBILITIES FOR USING SELF-TALK ARE LIMITED ONLY BY THE INDIVIDUALS. THERE ARE AS MANY USES AS THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH NEEDS. MOST OF THESE EXAMPLES, AT SOME TIME AND IN SOME WAY, APPLY TO ALL OF US.

                IF YOU WANT TO CONQUER A PROBLEM 

                        OR OVERCOME AN OBSTACLE:

                         CHANGING YOUR SELF-TALK CAN FIX  MANY KINDS OF PROBLEMS. THE PROBLEM CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO CONQUER - LARGE OR SMALL. YOU MAY WANT TO USE SELF-TALK TO CHANGE ATTITUDES OR ACTIONS - OR CHOICES YOU MAKE REPEATEDLY THAT CAUSE YOU PROBLEMS. SOMTIMES EVEN A SMALL AMOUNT OF EXACTLY RIGHT SELF-TALK WILL HELP YOU TAKE A MINOR STEP THAT CREATES MAJOR RESULTS. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEMS OF ANY KIND, ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTIONS, "IS MY OLD SELF-TALK CONTRIBUTING TO THIS PROBLEM? COULD CHANGING MY SELF-TALK HELP ME FIX IT?"

                       IF YOU WANT TO REACH GOALS

            PRACTICING SELF-TALK WHILE YOU'RE SETTING GOOD GOAL IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT MEANS TO ACHIEVING THEM THAT I HAVE EVER FOUND. SETTING GOALS, AND WORKING AT REACHING THEM, IS PART AND PARCEL TO BECOMING HEALTHY, WEALTHY, AND WISE, WORTHY GOALS ARE ESSENTIAL TO TRUE AND LASTING SELF-FULLFILLMENT.

                  IMAGINE SETTING WORTHWHILE GOALS - AND THEN FUELING THEM WITH THE NONSTOP ENERGY OF SELF-TALK. YOU COULD ACHIEVE THEM WITHOUT IT, PERHAPS, BUT THE ROAD WOULD BE HARDER, GIVE LIFE TO YOUR PATH. GRANT YOUR JOURNEY THE ASSURANCE OF A SAFE ARRIVAL. SET YOUR GOALS, WORK AT ACHIEVING THEM, AND TALK TO YOURSELF EVERY DAY ALONG THE WAY.

                SETTING GOALS AND POSITIVE SELF-TALK GO HAND IN HAND. BUT TALK TO YOURSELF IN EXACTLY THE RIGHT WAY, AND YOU WILL FIND THE ROAD EASIER TO FOLLOW. IF YOU ARE NOT YET SETTING GOALS - AND WRITING THEM DOWN - YOU SHOULD. IF YOU ARE NOT ARE ALREADY AN ACTIVE GOAL-SETTER, GIVE TO YOUR GOALS THE GIFT OF YOUR OW SELF-ASSURANCE. ADD THE WORDS OF DAILY DIRECTION AND ENCOURAGEMENT OF SELF-TALK TO YOUR GOALS. AND WELL-SET GOAL DESERVES THE BENEFIT OF WELL-SAID WORDS. 

                 IF YOU WANT TO IMPROVE YOUR JOB

                   IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, WE ARE ALL SUBJECT TO THE DIRECTIONS OF OTHERS. WE ALL HAVE RULES THAT WE HAVE TO FOLLOW. HOW YOU VIEW YOUR JOB, YOUR VOCATION, YOUR ASSOCIATES, AND YOUR EMPLOYER, BOSS, OR SUPERVISOR WILL HAVE AN IMPORTANT EFFECT ON HOW WELL YOU DO AND HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE JOB YOU ARE IN. IF YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU DO NOT LIKE YOUR JOB- YOU PROBABLY WON'T. IF YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE UNHAPPY WITH YOUR MANAGER OR EMPLOYER, YOU PROBABLY WILL BE.

                   GIVE YOURSELF AN ADVANTAGE. TALK TO YOURSELF ABOUT YOUR WORK AND THE PEOPLE YOU WORK WITH IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOUR WORK WORK FOR YOU.

                  IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF FALLING INTO THE HABIT OF FINDING FAULT WITH COMPLAINING ABOUT, CRITICIZING, OR RESENTING YOUR JOB, STEP ASIDE AND TALK TO YOURSELF. THERE ARE OTHERS WHO HAVE IT FAR WORSE, SOME OF THEM WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY THAT YOU NOW HAVE. YOUR JOB, OR YOUR OCCUPATION, DOES A LOT MORE THAN PAY THE BILLS. IT GIVES YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXCEL, TO EXCEPT THE BEST OF YOURSELF AND TO PUT THAT EXPECTATION INTO PRACTICE. YOUR SUCCESS WILL ALWAYS DEPEND ON WHAT YOU THINK, WHAT YOU TELL YOURSELF MOST. EXPECT THE BEST, AND THEN TELL YOURSELF THE BEST. IF YOUR DO, THERE IS A GOOD CHANCE THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL GET.

THE POSITION OF LEADERSHIP

 

                             THE LEADERSHIP QUALITY

                    THE ONLY THING THAT IS INEVITABLE IN THE LIFE OF THE LEADER IS THE CRISIS. WHEN YOU RISE TO A POSITION OF LEADERSHIP, YOU WILL EXPERIENCE CRISES REPEATEDLY - CRISES THAT ARE UNPREDICTABLE, UNBIDDEN, AND OTEN CAPABLE OF SERIOUSLY DAMAGING THE ORGANIZATION.

                     IT IS IN THE CRISIS THAT THE LEADER DEMONSTRATES HIS COMPETENCE. IN TIMES OF CRISIS, THE LEADER BECOMES CALM, COOL, OBJECTIVE, AND COMPLETELY IN CONTROL. THE LEADER ASKS QUESTIONS AND GATHERS INFORMATION. THE LEADER ASSESSES THE SITUATION ACCURATELY AND MAKES WHATEVER DECISIONS ARE NECESSARY TO MINIMIZE THE DAMAGE OR CUT THE LOSSESS.

                GREAT LEADERS DISCIPLINE THEMSELVES TO KEEP THEIR FEARS AND MISGIVINGS PRIVATE. THEY DO NOT SHARE THEIR CONCERNS WITH THEIR STAFFS, KNOWING THAT THIS CAN CAUSE THEIR CONCERNS WITH THEIR STAFFS, KNOWING THAT THIS CAN CAUSE CONFUSION AND LOSS OF MORALE. INSTEAD, THE LEADER ASKS A LOT OF QUESTIONS, PROBES DEEPLY INTO SITUATIONS SO THAT HE OR SHE UNDERSTANDS THEM THOROUGHLY, AND KEEPS HIS OR HER FEELINGS PRIVATE.

                 AS FAR AS THE MEMBERS OF THE ORGANIZATION ARE CONCERNED, THE LEADER IS ALWAYS CALM, POSITIVE RELAXED , AND IN COMPLETE CONTROL - NO MATTER WHAT IS HAPPENING. 

                      SELF-CONTROL AND LEADERSHIP

                   THERE IS A DIRECT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOUR ABILITY TO DISCIPLINE YOURSELF AND YOUR BEHAVIORS AND YOUR READINESS TO LEAD. IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU PROVE TO OTHERS THAT YOU ARE IN COMPLETE CONTROL OF YOURSELF THAT THEY DEVELOP THE CONFIDENCE TO PUT YOU IN A LEADERSHIP POSITION - AND KEEP YOU THERE.

                   THE LEADER REALIZES THAT EVERTHING HE SAYS TO OR ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON IS MAGNIFIED. THE LEADER THEREFORE PRAISES AND ENCOURAGES PEOPLE, BOTH IN THEIR PRESENCE IN THEIR PRESENCE AND WHEN THEY ARE NOT AROUND. HE NEVER SAYS ANYTHING NEGATIVE THAT COULD BE MISINTERPRETED OR THAT COULD DEMOTIVATE OR OFFEND ANOTHER PERSON. IF HE HAS PROBLEMS WITH SOMEONE, HE ADDRESSESS HIM PRIVATELY, OUT OF SIGHT AND EARSHOOT OF ANYONE ELSE.

                               LEADERSHIP QUALITIES 

                         LEADERS DISCIPLINE THEMSELVES TO PLAN, PREPARE, ORGANIZE, AND CHECK EVERY DETAIL. THEY TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED. THEY ASK QUESTIONS TO ENSURE THAT THEY HAVE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF A SITUATION, PROBLEM, OR DIFFICULTY.

                       GREAT LEADERS ACT AS IF THEY OWN THE ENTIRE COMPANY. THEY ACCEPT A HIGH LEVEL OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. THEY LEADER NEVER COMPLAINS, MAKES EXCUSES, OR BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS.

                        LEADERS ARE INTENSELY ACTION-ORIENTED. THEY GATHER INFORMATION CAREFULLY AND MAKE THE DECISIONS THAT ARE NECESSARY. THEY SET MEASURES AND STANDARDS AND HOLD OTHERS TO THEM. THEY INSIST THAT THE JOB BE DONE QUICKLY AND WELL.

                            BECOME ALL YOU CAN BE

                          THERE IS AN EVEN MORE IMPORTANT REASON FOR YOU TO PRACTICE THE SELF-DISCIPLINE THAT LEADS ONWARD AND UPWARD TO THE GREAT SUCCESSESS THAT ARE POSSIBLE FOR YOU. THE PRACTICE OF SELF-DISCIPLINE ENABLES YOU TO CHANGE YOUR CHARACTER, TO BECOME A STRONGER AND BETTER PERSON. THE EXERCISE OF DISCIPLINE HAS A POWERFUL EFFECT ON YOUR MIND AND EMOTIONS, DEVELOPING YOU INTO A DIFFERENT PERSON FROM THE ONE THAT YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN WITHOUT SELF-DISCIPLINE.

                         IMAGINE YOURSELF IN A CHEMISTRY LAB. YOU MIX A SERIES OF CHEMICALS IN A PETRI DISH AND PUT IT OVER A BUNSEN BURNER. THE BUNSEN BURNER HEATS THE CHEMICALS TO THE POINT AT WHICH THEY CRYSTALIZE AND BECOME HARDENED. BUT ONCE YOU HAVE CRYSTALLIZED AND BECOME HARDENED. BUT ONCE YOU HAVE CRYSTALLIZED THESE CHEMICALS USING INTENSE HEAT, THEY CANNOT BE TRANSFORMED BACK INTO LIQUID FORM.

                       IN THE SAME WAY, YOUR PERSONALITY BEGINS LIKE A LIQUID. SOFT, FLUID, AND FORMLESS. BUT AS YOU APPLY THE HEAT OF SELF-DISCIPLINE, AS YOU EXERT YOURSELF TO DO WHAT IS HARD AND NECESSARY RATHER THAN WHAT IS FUN AND EASY, YOUR PERSONALITY CRYSTALLIZES AND HARDENS AT A HIGHEST LEVEL AS WELL.

                      THE GREATEST BENEFIT YOU ENJOY FROM EXERTING SELF-DISCIPLINE IN THE PURSUIT OF YOUR GOALS IN THAT YOU BECOME A DIFFERENT PERSON. YOU BECOME STRONGER AND MORE RESOLUTE. YOU DEVELOP GREATER SELF-CONTROL AND DETERMINATION. YOU ACTUALLY SHAPE AND STRENGTHEN YOUR PERSONALITY AND TRANSFORM YOURSELF INTO A BETTER PERSON.

                      THE RULE IS THAT "TO BECOME SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN BEFORE, YOU MUST DO SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE". THIS MEANS THAT TO DEVELOP A SUPERIOR CHARACTER, YOU MUST EXERT EVER-HIGHER LEVELS OF SELF-DISCIPLINE AND SELF-MASTERY ON YOURSELF. YOU MUST DO THE THINGS THAT AVERAGE PEOPLE DON'T LIKE TO DO.

                        ANOTHER SUCCESS PRINCIPLE IS THAT "TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE NEVER ACHIEVED BEFORE, YOU MUST LEARN AND PRACTICE QUALITIES AND SKILLS THAT YOU HAVE NEVER HAD BEFORE".

                      BY PRACTICING SELF-DISCIPLINE, YOU BECOME A NEW PERSON. YOU BECOME BETTER, STRONGER, AND MORE CLEARLY DEFINED, YOU DEVELOP HIGHER LEVELS OF SELF-ESTEEM, SELF-RESPECT, AND PERSONAL PRIDE. YOU MOVE YOURSELF UP THE LADDER OF HUMAN EVOLUTION AND BECOME A PERSON OF HIGHER CHARACTER AND RESOLVE.

THE IMPORTANT OF BREATH

 

                              THE BREATHING PATTERN

                       THE IMPORTANCE OF THE BREATH CAN BE APPRECIATED BY OBSERVING SOME OF THE MIND'S PROPERTIES, FOR THE MIND TENDS TO FILTER MANY EVENTS OUT OF CONSCIOUS AWARENESS IN ORDER TO AVOID A CONFUSING BARRAGE OF SENSATIONS. THIS ALLOWS IT TO FOCUS ON THE MORE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES. IN OTHER WORDS, A NEW PATTERN OF THOUGHT OR A NEW ACTIVITY INITIALLY ATTRACTS MUCH CONSCIOUS ATTENTION, BUT WITH FREQUENT REPETITION IT BECOMES UNCONSCIOUS AND HABITUAL. FOR EXAMPLE, WALKING IS EFFORTLESS FOR AN ADULT, IT REQUIRES LITTLE OR NO CONSCIOUS ATTENTION ALTHOUGH THE CONSCIOUS MIND CAN EASILY INTERVENE IF NECESSARY. HOWEVER, THE PROCESS OF INTEGRATING THE MOVEMENTS OF WALKING INTO THE MIND TOOK YEARS OF TRIAL AND ERROR BEFORE IT BECAME HABITUAL AND COULD BE RELEGATED TO THE UNCONSCIOUS.

                   THE INTERNAL ORGANS (FOR EXAMPLE, THE HEART, KIDNEY, LIVER) RESPOND IN A SIMILAR MANNER. BIOFEEDBACK RESEARCH HAS SHOWN THAT SOME OF THE PHYSIOLOGICAL ACTIVITIES OF THESE ORGANS, PREVIOUSLY LABELED INVOLUNTARY, CAN BE CONSCIOUSLY CONTROLLED WITH TRAINING, ALTHOUGH MUCH PRACTICE USUALLY REQUIRED TO BECOME PROFICIENT IN CONSCIOUSLY CONTROLLINGV THESE ORGANS.

                    BREATHING IS UNIQUEAS A PHYSIOLOGICAL FUNCTION BECAUSE FEEDBACK SIGNALS FROM THE LUNGS AND FROM OXYGEN AND CARBONDIOXIDE IN THE BLOOD OFFSET THE RATE AND DEPTH OF VOLUNTARY MUSCLES. FOR EXAMPLE, DEPENDING UPON ONE'S PROFICIENCY IN DEALING WITH THE BREATH, THE RATE AND DEPTH OF BREATHING CAN BE ALTERED, BUT INVOLUNTARY REFLEX ACTIVITY LIMITS THE DEGREE TO WHICH THIS CAN OCCUR. THESE REFLEXES ACT AS SAFEGUARDS, AND ARE ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE NEED TO BREATHE IS FUNDAMENTAL. THIS IN PART REFLECTS THE KEY ROLE PLAYED BY OXYGEN IN METABOLISM, FOR WITHOUT OXYGEN THE BODY CANNOT BURN FOOD AND GENERATE ENERGY.

               MODERN SCIENCE HAS COME TO UNDERSTAND MANY OF THE PRINCIPLES INVOLVED IN THE PHYSICAL ASPECT OF BREATHING, FROM THE MUSCLES AND ORGANS WHICH TRANSPORT OXYGEN INTO AND THROUGHOUT THE BODY, DOWN TO THE MOLECULAR REACTIONS OF METABOLISM. HOWEVER, THE PURELY INTELLECTUAL APPEAL OF THESE COMPLEX PHYSIOLOGICAL SYSTEMS HAS LIMITED THE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY'S CONCEPT OF THE BREATH TO THE PHYSICAL LEVEL ONLY, EVEN THOUGH THE MOST CASUAL REFLECTION INDICATES THAT THE SIGNIFICANCE OF BREATH EXTENDS BEYOND ITS PURELY METABOLIC FUNCTIONS. FOR EXAMPLE, OUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE SUGGESTS THAT THERE IS RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN EMOTIONS AND THE BREATH, FOR INTENSE EMOTIONAL STATES APPEAR TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH CHANGES IN BREATHING. THE SOB OF GRIEF AND THE TREMBLING BREATH OF ANGER ARE COMMON EXAMPLES. IN ADDITION, PHYSICAL STIMULI SUCH AS PAIN AND EXERCISE CAN ACT TO CHANGE BOTH THE BREATH AND THE EMOTIONAL STATE.

                    ONCE THESE OBSERVATIONS ARE STUDIED, A WHOLE SERIES OF QUESTIONS ARISES, WHAT IS THE NATURE OF THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE EMOTIONS AND THE BODY AND BREATH? WHAT IS THE UNDERLYING VEHICLE? DOES THE BREATH INTERACT WITH OTHER REALMS OF THE MIND? CAN EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL STATES BE ALTERED BY CHANGING THE BREATHING PATTERNS?

                      THESE ARE SOME OF THE QUESTIONS WHICH SCIENCE OF BREATH ADDRESSES. EACH CHAPTER DEVELOPS ONE ASPECT OF THE CENTRAL THESIS THAT THE BREATH IS THE LINK BETWEEN THE BODY AND MIND, AND THE AUTHORS WEAVE TOGETHER THE DIVERSE SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERIES OF THE WEST AND THE RICH EXPERIENTIAL INSIGHTS OF THE EAST INTO A THOROUGH AND BALANCED EXPOSITION. AFTER THE BASIC TENETS OF THE BOOK ARE OUTLINED IN THE FIRST CHAPTER, DR.ALAN HYMES PRESENTS THE PHYSIOLOGY AND ANATOMY OF THE LOWER RESPIRATORY TRACT FROM AN UNUSUAL PERSPECTIVE, AND EXAMINES THE PHYSIOLOGICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS OF VARIOUS BREATHING HABITS. A DISCUSSION OF THE NOSE (AN OFT-MALIGNED BUT RARELY UNDERSTOOD ORGAN) AND THE UPPER RESPIRATORY TRACT FOLLOWS IN A CHAPTER BY DR.RUDOLPH BALLENTINE. HERE, THIS PORTAL IS EXAMINED IN TERMS OF THE PREPARATORY FUNCTIONS IT EXERTS UPON THE INCOMING AIRSTEAM AND THE COMPLEX PATTERN OF NERVOUS ACTIVITY AND ENERGY FLOW WHICH THIS EVOKES. IN THE FINAL CHAPTER, SWAMI RAMA DESCRIBES THE VEHICLES FOR THE BODY/MIND INTERFACE: PRANA, ACCORDING TO THE ANCIENT YOGIC TEXTS, PRANA IS THE MOST SUBTLE UNIT OF ENERGY. SWAMI RAMA DISCUSSESS ITS ORGANIZATION INTO A PRANIC SHEATH, OR ENERGY FIELD, WHICH UNDERLIES THE PHYSICAL STRUCTURE AND FUNCTIONING OF THE BODY AND WHICH IS POTENTIALLY UNDER THE CONTROL OF THE MIND.

                    THE GOAL OF SCIENCE OF BREATH IS TO PRESENT THEORETICAL KNOWLEDGE REGARDING THE BREATH IN SUCH A WAY THAT IT CAN BE APPLIED AS A TOOL FOR PERSONAL GROWTH. TO THIS END, A SERIES OF PRACTICAL EXERCISE AND TECHNIQUES FOR SYSTEMATICALLY WORKING WITH THE BREATH AND CONTROLLING THE FLOW OF PRANA IS DESCRIBED IN DETAIL. THESE SERVE TO EXPAND BREATH AWARENESS, FOR A WE OBSERVE THE WAY IN WHICH WE USE OUR BREATH, VARIOUS MORE BENEFICIAL ONES. JUST AS A CHILD OVERCOMES HIS CLUMSINESS BY BECOMING AWARE OF HIS BODY AND LEARNING TO WALK, SO DOES BREATH AWARENSS GRADUALLY BRING BREATHING UNDER GREATER CONSCIOUS CONTROL.

                     AS THE BREATH IS THE LINK BETWEEN THE BODY AND MIND, IT CAN INTERVENE IN THE ACTIVITIES OF EITHER LEVEL. WITH INCREASED AWARENSS AND CONTROL OF THE SUBTLE ASPECTS OF BREATHING, THESE INTERVENTIONS CAN AFFECT DEEP PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL CHANGES. SCIENCE OF BREATH, THEN, OPENS UP NEW AVENUES OF BEING TO THE CONSCIOUS MIND,  PROVIDING A POWERFUL TOOL IN THE PURSUIT OF TRULY HOLISTIC HEALTH AND PERSONAL GROWTH.