DEVELOP SELF CONFIDENT
HILL AND THE CARNEGIE
HILL : MR. CARNEGIE, WE COME NOW TO THE THIRD OF THE SEVENTEEN PRINCIPLES OF INDIVIDUAL ACHIEVEMENT, WHICH YOU HAVE NAMED "ATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY". I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE SEPERATED THE FACTORS BEHIND PERSONALITY INTO DISTINCT TRAITS, ALL BUT ONE OF WHICH MAY BE DEVELOPED ANY NORMAL PERSON. NOW, SIR, WILL YOU DESCRIBE THESE CHARACTERISTICS OF PERSONALITY, WITH SPECIAL EMPHASIS ON THOSE WHICH YOU CONSIDER OF GREATEST IMPORTANCE TO AN INDIVIDUAL IN SELLING HIS WAY THROUGH LIFE SUCCESSFULLY?
CARNEGIE : I WILL NOT ONLY DESCRIBE THE TRAITS OF AN ATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY, BUT BEFORE I HAVE FINISHED, I WILL ALSO GIVE YOU A SIMPLE FORMULA WITH WHICH ALL BUT ONE OF THESE TRAITS MAY BE DEVELOPED AND MAINTAINED. THE MERE NAMING OF THESE PERSONALITY TRAITS WILL BE OF LITTLE VALUE TO ANYONE UNLESS HE APPROPRIATES AND USES THEM.WE WILL BEGIN THE OUTLINE OF THE FACTORS WITH A DESCRIPTION OF THE MOST IMPORTANT OF THESE, WHICH IS POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE. ONE MAY GET A FAIR IDEA OF THE IMPORTANT PART MENTAL ATTITUDE PLAYS IN THE AFFAIRS OF AN INDIVIDUAL'S LIFE BY CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT IT INFLUENCES THE TONE OF VOICE, THE EXPRESSION OF THE FACE, THE POSTURE OF THE BODY, AND MODIFIES EVERY WORD THAT IS SPOKEN AS WELL AS DETERMINING MODIFIES EVERY THOUGHT ONE RELEASE, THEREBY EXTENDING ITS INFLUENCE TO ALL WITHING ITS RANGE, THROUGH THE PRINCIPLE OF TELEPATHY.
FOR THE SAKE OF CONTRAST, LET US LIST SOME OF THE DISAGREEABLE THINGS THAT A BAD MENTAL ATTITUDE CAUSES. IT DAMPENS A MAN'S ENTHUSIAM, CURTAILS HIS INITIATIVE, OVERTHROWS HIS SELF-CONTROL, SUBDUES HIS IMAGINATION, UNDERMINES HIS DESIRE TO BE COOPERATIVE, MAKES HIM SULLEN AND INTOLERANT, AND AS IF THESE WERE NOT ENOUGH DAMAGE TO INSURE A MAN'S IT PUTS ON THE FINISHING TOUCH BY THROWING HIS REASONING POWER OUT OF GEAR. THERE ARE BUT A FEW OF THE WAYS IN WHICH NEGATIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE MAY DAMAGE THE INDIVIDUAL HIMSELF, QUITE APART FROM THE DAMAGE HE DOES TO OTHERS, THROUGH HIS NEGATIVE INFLUENCES.
❤ HERE SOME POINTS ❤
1. CARELESSNESS IN THE TONE OF THE VOICE, OFTEN SPEAKING IN GRUFF, ANTAGONISTIC TONES THAT OFFEND.
2. SPEAKING OUT OR TURN, WHEN SILENCE WOULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE.
3. INTERRUPTING OTHERS WHO ARE SPEAKING.
4. OVERWORKING THE PERSONAL PRONOUN.
5. ASKING IMPERTINENT QUESTIONS, GENERALLY TO IMPRESS OTHERS WITH THE QUESTIONER'S OWN IMPORTANCE.
6. INJECTING INTIMATELY PERSONAL SUBJECTS INTO THE CONVERSATION WHERE SUCH ACTION IS EMBARRASSING TO OTHERS.
7. GOING WHERE ONE HAS NOT BEEN INVITED.
8. BOASTFULNESS.
9. FLAUNTING THE RULES OF SOCIETY IN MATTERS OF PERSONAL ADORNMENT.
10. MAKING PERSONAL CALLS AT INCONVENIENT HOURS.
11. HOLDING PEOPLE ON THE TELEPHONE WITH NEEDLESS CONVERSATION.
12.WRITING LETTERS TO PEOPLE WHOM ONE HAS NO REASONABLE EXCUSE FOR ADDRESSING.
13. VOLUNTEERING OPINIONS WHEN NOT REQUESTED, ESPECIALLY ON SUBJECTS WITH WHICH THEY ARE NOT FAMILIAR.
14. OPENLY QUESTIONING WHEN NOT REQUESTED, ESPECIALLY ON SUBJECTS WITH WHICH THEY ARE NOT FAMILIAR.
15. DECLINING REQUESTS FROM OTHERS IN AN ARROGANT MANNER.
16. SPEAKING DISPARAGINGLY OF PEOPLE IN FRONT OF THEIR FRIENDS.
17. REBUKING PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE WITH ONE ON ANY SUBJECT.
18. SPEAKING OF PEOPLE'S PHYSICAL AFFLICTIONS IN THEIR PRESENCE.
19. CORRECTING SUBORDINATES AND ASSOCIATES IN THE PRESENCE OF OTHERS.
20. COMPLAINING WHEN REQUESTS FOR FAVORS ARE REFUSED.
21. PRESUMING UPON FRIENDSHIP IN ASKING FAVORS.
22. USING PROFANCE OR OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE.
23. EXPRESSING DISLIKES TOO FREELY.
24. SPEAKING OF ILLS AND MISFORTUNES.
25. CRITICIZING OUR FORM OF GOVERNMENT OR SOME
PERSON'S RELIGION.
26. OVER - FAMILIARITY ON ALL OCCASIONS WITH PEOPLE.
HILL : THE PERSON WHO CHECKS HIS PERSONALITY AGAINST THAT LIST AND FINDS HIMSELF NOT TO BE A VIOLATOR IN ANY OF THOSE WAYS, IS INDEED FORTUNATE AND HE IS A RARE INDIVIDUAL. I CAN SEE THAT TACTFULNESS IS ANOTHER TRAIT OF PERSONALITY WHICH IS RELATED TO MENTAL ATTITUDE. NOW, MR.CARNEGIE, WHAT IS COMING UP AS NUMBER TEN?
CARNEGIE : TENTH PLACE GOES TO TOLERANCE. LET US DEFINE TOLERANCE SIMPLY AS OPEN - MINDEDNESS. THE TOLERANT PERSON IS ONE WHO HOLDS MIND OPEN FOR NEW FACTS AND NEW KNOWLEDGE AND NEW VIEWPOINTS ON ALL SUBJECTS. I HAZARD THE GUESS THAT THIS DEFINITION CLASSIFIES MOST OF US BEING INTOLERANT.
OBSERVE, TOO, BEFORE WE GET TOO FAR INTO THE ANALYSIS OF THIS SUBJECT, HOW CLOSELY RELATED ARE TOLERANCE AND TACTFULNESS, AND ALSO HOW DEFINITELY HOTH ARE RELATED ARE TOLERANCE AND TACFULNESS, AND ALSO HOW DEFINITELY BOTH ARE RELATED TO MENTAL ATTITUDE. TRY AS YOU MAY, THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM CONSIDERATION OF THE SUBJECT OF MENTAL ATTITUDE. IT CROPS UP EVERYWHERE, IN EVERY HUMAN RELATIONSHIP!
BEFORE LEAVING THIS SUBJECT, I WISH TO ENUMERATE A FEW OF THE SPECIFIC HANDICAPS WHICH MEN SET UP FOR THEMSELVES THROUGH THEIR INTOLERANCE.
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1. IT MAKES ENEMIES OF THOSE WHO WOULD LIKE TO BE FRIENDS.
2. IT STOPS THE GROWTH OF THE MIND, BY LIMITING THE SEARCH FOR
KNOWLEDGE.
3. IT DISCOURAGE IMAGINATION.
4. IT PROHIBITS SELF-DISCILINE.
5. IT PREVENTS ACCURACY IN THINKING AND REASONING.
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