FINANCIAL FAILURES

 

                THE REASONS FOR FINANCIAL FAILURE

 

                             THE PRIMARY REASON WHY MOST ADULTS HAVE FINANCIAL PROBLEMS IS NOT LOW EARNINGS. IN THIS CHAPTER THE MILLIONAIRE NEXT DOOR, THOMAS STANLEY AND WILLIAM DANKO SHOW THAT TWO FAMILIES LIVING ON THE SAME STREET, IN THE SAME SIZE OF HOUSE, AND WORKING AT THE SAME JOB CAN HAVE COMPLETELY DIFFEENT FINANCIAL SITUATIONS. BY THE AGE OF FORTY FIVE OR FIFTY, THE COUPLE IN ONE HOUSE WILL BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT WHILE THE COUPLE NEXT DOOR IS DEEPLY IN DEBT AND HAVING TROUBLE MAKING THE MINIMUM PAYMENTS ON THEIR CREDIT CARDS.

                          THE REASON FOR THIS IS NOT THE AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT THEY EARN. THE REASON IS LACK OF SELF-DISCIPLINE AND THE INABILITY TO DELAY GRATIFICATION. WHY IS THIS WEAKNESS OF CHARACTER SO PREVALENT AMONG THE MAJORITY OF ADULST IN SOCIETY TODAY? IT GOES BACK TO EARLY CHILDHOOD.

                     WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD AND YOU RECEIVED MONEY (WHETHER IT WAS YOUR ALLOWANCE OR A GIFT FROM A FRIEND OR RELATIVE) THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF DOING WAS TO SPEND THAT MONEY ON CANDY. CANDY IS SWEET. CANDY IS DELICIOUS. CANDY FILLS YOUR MOUTH WITH A WONDERFUL, SUGARY FLAVOR. YOU LIKED CANDY WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD, AND YOU PROBABLY COULD SELDOM GET ENOUGH OF IT. MANY CHILDREN WILL EAT CANDY UNTIL THEY BECOME PHYSICALLY ILL BECAUSE IT TASTES SO GOOD.

                      AS YOU GREW OLDER, YOU DEVELOPED WHAT PSYCHOLOGISTS CALL A "CONDITIONED RESPONSE" TO RECEIVING MONEY FROM ANY SOURCE. LIKE PAVLOV'S DOG, WHEN YOU RECEIVE MONEY, YOU MENTALLY SALIVATE AT THE THOUGHT OF SPENDING THIS MONEY ON SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, AT LEAST TEMPORARILY.

                                        SPENDING MAKES YOU HAPPY

                      WHEN YOU BECOME AN ADULT YOU EARN OR RECEIVE. MONEY, THIS AUTOMATIC REACTION CONTINOUS. YOUR FIRST THOUGHTS IS, "HOW CAN I SPEND THIS MONEY TO ACHIEVE IMMEDIATE PLEASURE?

                      WHEN YOU GET YOUR FIRST JOB, THE VERY FIRST THING YOU THINK ABOUT IS HOW YOU CAN SPEND NOT ONLY THE MONEY YOU EARN, BUT ALSO EVERY PENNY YOU CAN BORROW ON A CREDIT CARD ON CLOTHES, CARS, COSMETICS, SOCIALIZING, ENTERTAINMENT, TRAVEL, AND EVERYTHING ELSE. YOUR MENTAL EQUATION IS MONEY = ENJOYMENT. 

                      WHEN YOU GO ON VACATION TO A RESORT OF ANY KIND, YOU FIND THAT THE HOTELS AND STREETS ARE LINED WITH SHOPS SELLING USELESS TRINKETS, BOBBLES, AND TRASH, PLUS CLOTHES, ARTWORK, AND OTHER ITEMS THAT YOU WOULD NEVER THINK OF BUYING AT HOME. WHY IS THIS? SIMPLE. WHEN YOU ARE ON VACATION, YOU FEEL HAPPY. YOU HAVE A CONDITIONED RESPONSE TO ASSOCIATE HAPPINESS WITH SPENDING MONEY. THE HAPPIEAR YOU ARE, THE MORE UNCONSCIOUSLY COMPELLED YOU ARE TO GO OUT AND SPEND MONEY ON SOMETHING - OR, RATHER ON ANYTHING.

                    AS AN ADULT, WHENEVER YOU RECEIVE YOUR PAYCHECK, A BONUS, A COMMISSION, AN IRS REFUND, A PRIZE, OR A INHERITANCE, THE VERY FIRST THING YOU THIK ABOUT IS HOW YOU CAN SPEND THIS MONEY AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE AND ON AS MANY PLEASURE AS POSSIBLE.

                                 REWIRE YOUR RESPONSES ABOUT MONEY

                       THE STARTING POINT OF ACHIEVING FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE IS TO DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO REWRITE YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD MONEY. YOU NEED TO REACH INTO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND AND DISCONNECT THE WIRE LINKING, "SPENDING" AND "HAPPINESS". YOU NEED TO THEN RECONNECT THAT "HAPPINESS" WIRE TO THE "SAVING AND INVESTING" WIRE.

                   FROM THE MOMENT ON , INSTEAD OF SAYING, "I FEEL HAPPY WHEN I SPEND MONEY", YOU WILL SAY, I FEEL HAPPY WHEN I SAVE MONEY.

                  TO REINFORCE THIS SHIFT IN THINKING, OPEN UP A "FINANCIAL FREEDOM ACCOUNT" AT YOUR LOCAL BANK. THIS IS THE ACCOUNT IN WHICH YOU DEPOSIT MONEY FOR THE LONG TERM. ONCE YOUR MONEY GOES INTO THIS ACCOUNT, YOU RESOLVE THAT YOU WILL NEVER SPEND IT ON ANYTHING EXCEPT THE ACHIEVEMENT OF FINANCIAL FREEDOM.

                   IF YOU WANT TO SAVE MONEY TO BUY BOAT OR A CAR, YOU OPEN UP A SEPARATE ACCOUT SOLELY FOR THAT PURPOSE. BUT YOUR FINANCIAL FREEDOM ACCOUNT IS INVIOLABLE. YOU NEVER TOUCH IT EXCEPT TO INVEST THOSE FUNDS SO THAT THEY CAN YIELD A HIGHER RATE OF RETURN.

                                   ASSOCIATE HAPPINESS WITH SAVING

                  WHEN YOU BEGIN SAVING IN THIS WAY, SOMETHING MIRACULOUS HAPPENS WITHIN YOU. YOU START TO FEEL HAPPY ABOUT THE IDEA OF HAVING MONEY IN THE BANK. EVEN IF YOU OPEN YOUR ACCOUNT WITH ONLY $10, THIS ACTION GIVES YOU A FEELING OF GREATER SELF-CONTROL AND PERSONAL POWER. YOU FEEL HAPPIER ABOUT YOURSELF. THE VERY ACT  OF DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO SAVE MONEY YOU FEEL STRONGER AND MORE IN CONTROL OF YOUR DESTINY.

                   EACH TIME YOU GET SOME EXTRA MONEY YOU PUT IT INTO YOUR FINANCIAL FREEDOM ACCOUNT. EVENTUALLY, YOUR FINANCIAL FREEDOM ACCOUNT WILL BEGIN TO GROW. THEN, AS IT GROWS,    YOU ACHIEVE TWO LAWS, THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND THE LAW OF ACCUMULATION.

                   BECAUSE THE MONEY IN YOUR ACCOUNT IS EMOTIONALIZED BY YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS, IT SETS UP A FORCE FIELD OF ENERGY THAT BEGINS TO ATTRACT MORE MONEY INTO IT. IF YOU SAVE $10 A MONTH FOR A YEAR, YOU WILL BE ASTONISHED TO FIND THAT WITH THE EXTRA BITS OF MONEY THAT YOU HAVE PUT INTO THAT ACCOUNT, YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE MORE THAN $200 RATHER THAN JUST $120. IF YOU SAVE $100 PER MONTH, YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE MORE THAN $2000.

                  THE LAW OF ACCUMULATION SAYS THAT "EVERY GREAT ACHIEVMENT IS AN ACCUMULATION OF MANY SMALL ACHIEVEMENTS". THE LAW OF ATTRACTION SAYS THAT "YOU ATTRACT INTO YOUR LIFE THOSE THINGS THAT ARE IN HARMONY WITH YOUR DOMINANT THOUGHTS. BECAUSE OF THESE LAWS, YOUR FINANCIAL FREEDOM ACCOUNT BEGINS TO GROW WITH THE MIRACLES OF COMPOUND INTEREST.

                  THE MORE MONEY YOU HAVE IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, THE MORE ENERGY IT GENERATES AND THE MORE MONEY IS ATTRACTED INTO YOUR LIFE . YOU HAVE HEARD IT SAID THAT "IT TAKES MONEY TO MAKE MONEY". THIS IS TRUE. AS YOU BEGIN TO SAVE AND ACCUMULATE MONEY, THE UNIVERSE BEGINS TO DIRECT MORE AND MORE MONEY TOWARD YOU THAT YOU CAN SAVE AND ACCUMULATE.

                 EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER PRACTISED THIS PRINCIPLE OF REGULAR SAVING IS ABSOLUTELY ASTONISHED AT HOW QUICKLY THEIR FINANCIAL FOTUNES CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.

                   THE RULE FOR FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE, ONCE YOU HAVE REWIRED YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD MONEY, IS TO "PAY YOURSELF FIRST". MOST PEOPLE SAVE WHATEVER IS LEFT OVER AFTER THEIR MONTHLY EXPENSES - IF THERE IS ANYTHING LEFT OVER AT ALL. THE KEY, IS TO PAY YOUSRSELF FIRST, OFF THE TOP, FROM EVERY AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU RECEIVE.

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR TIME

 

 

                              KEEP YOURSELF FOCUSED

                     THE LAW OF FORCED EFFICIENCY SAYS, "THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH TIME TO DO EVERYTHING , BUT THERE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH TIME TO DO THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS.

                       HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS THAT YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF, TO HELP KEEP YOU FOCUSED AND WORKING ON YOUR TOP TASKS, ACTIVITIES, AND RESPONSIBILITIES.

                     1. WHY AM I ON THE PAYROLL? EXACTLY WHAT HAVE I BEEN HIRED TO DO ? WHAT RESULTS ARE EXPECTED OF ME?

                          YOU MUST BE CLEAR ABOUT ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION. DISCUSS IT WITH OTHERS. ASK YOUR BOSS.

                      2. WHAT ARE MY KEY RESULT AREAS ? OF ALL THE THINGS I DO, WHAT ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT RESULTS THAT I AM EXPECTED TO ACHIEVE IN MY POSITION?

                       THERE ARE SELDOM MORE THAN FIVE TO SEVEN KEY RESULT AREAS IN ANY JOB. IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT YOU IDENTIFY YOURS AND THEN WORK IN THOSE AREAS ALL DAY LONG.

                   3. WHAT ARE MY HIGHEST VALUE ACTIVITIES ? OF ALL THE THINGS I DO, WHICH ACTIVITIES CONTRIBUTE THE GREATEST VALUE TO MY COMPANY AND TO MYSELF?

                  YOU HAVE CORE COMPETENCIES THAT ENABLE HOU TO MAKE A VALUABLE CONTRIBUTION. WHAT ARE THEY?

                 4.WHAT CAN I - AND ONLY I - DO, IF DONE WELL, WILL MAKE A REAL DIFFERENCE?

                   THERE IS ONLY ONE ANWER TO THIS QUESTION AT ANY GIVEN TIME. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOU AND ONLY YOU CAN DO. IF YOU DONT DO IT, NO ONE ELSE WILL DO IT INSTEAD. BUT IF YOU DO IT - AND YOU DO IT WELL - IT CAN MAKE A TREMENDOUS DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE AND WORK.

                5.  WHAT IS THE MOST VALUABLE USE OF MY TIME RIGHT NOW?

                  THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL QUESTION FOR SETTING PRIORITIES AND OVERCOMING PROCRASTINATION. AT EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY, THERE IS AN ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION. YOUR ABILITY TO ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE AND TO SELECT YOUR HIGHEST PRIORITY IS A KEY MEASURE OF YOUR INTELLIGENCE AND YOUR EFFECTIVENESS.

 

                                                            START TODAY

                    STARTING TODAY, YOU SHOULD APPLY THESE KEY TIME MANAGEMENT PRINCIPLES TO EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE. APPLY THEM TO YOUR WORK, FAMILY, HEALTH, EXERCISE, ROUTINE, AND FINANCIAL DECISIONS AND ACTIVITIES. NO EXCUSES.

                  YOU REQUIRE TREMENDOUS DISCIPLINE TO SET PRIORITIES AND THEN STICK TO THOSE PRIORITIES. YOU REQUIRE THE CONTINUOUS EXERTION OF DISCIPLINE AND WILLPOWER TO OVERCOME THE PROCRASTINATION THAT HOLDS MOST PEOPLE BACK. HOWEVER, THE MORE YOU DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO USE YOUR TIME WELL, THE HAPPIER YOU WILL FEEL AND THE BETTER WILL BE THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE IN EVERY AREA.

                WHAT STANDS BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR GOALS ARE ALMOST ALWAYS PROBLEMS AND DIFFICULTIES OF SOME KIND. YOUR ABILITY TO EFFECTIVELY SOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF DAILY LIFE CAN HAVE  AN ANORMOUS IMPACT ON YOUR RESULTS AND REWARDS. WE WILL TALK ABOUT THIS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.

                   ACTION EXERCISES :

                   1. MAKE A DECISION TODAY TO BECOME ABSOLUTELY EXCELLENT AT TIME MANAGEMENT. WORK AT IT UNTIL BECOMES A HABIT.

                   2. BEFORE YOU BEGIN EACH DAY, MAKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO DO THAT DAY. AS NEW TASKS ARISE, WRITE THEM DOWN BEFORE YOU ACT ON THEM.

                 3. ORGANIZE YOUR WORK LIST BY PRIORITY BY USING THE A B C D METHOD OVER AND OVER UNTIL IT BECOMES A HABIT.

                 4. IDENTIFY YOUR A-1 TASK EACH DAY AND RESOLVE TO WORK SINGLEMINDEDLY ON THAT TASK UNTIL IT IS TOTALLY COMPLETE.

                 5. IDENTIFY THE ONE TASK THAT ONLY YOU CAN DO AND THAT, IF YOU DO IT WELL, CAN MAKE A REAL DIFFENRENCE.

                6. DETERMINE THE 20 PERCENT OF YOUR TASKS THAT CAN ACCOUNT FOR 80 PERCENT OF YOUR RESULTS, AND THEN DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO WORK ON THEM MOST OF THE TIME.

               7. EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY, ASK YOURSELF, WHAT IS THE MOST VALUABLE USE OF MY TIME, RIGHT NOW? AND THEN DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO WORK ON ONLY THAT TASK UNTIL IT IS COMPLETE.

TIME MANAGEMENT TIPS

 

                             THINK BEFORE YOU ACT

                            BEFORE YOU COMMTI TO ANY TIME-CONSUMING ACTIVITY, YOU MUST ALWAYS ASK, "IS THIS THE VERY BEST USE OF MY TIME"?

                         LACK OF SELF-DISCIPLINE IN TIME MANAGEMENT LEADS PEOPLE TO PROCRASTINATE THEIR TOP ASKS CONTINUALLY, CAUSING THEM TO SPEND MORE AND MORE AND MORE TIME ON TASKS OF LOVE OR NO VALUE. AND WHATEVER YOU DO REPEATEDLY EVENTUALLY BECOMES A HABIT.

                      MANY PEOPLE HAVE DEVELOPED THE HABIT OF PROCRASTINATION, OF PUTTING OFF THEIR MAJOR TASKS AND INSTEAD SPENDING MOST OF THEIR TIME ON ACTIVITIES THAT MAKE VERY LITTLE DIFFERENCE IN THE LONG RUN.

                      

                                      PRIORITIES VERSUS POSTERIORITIES

                  SETTING PRIORITIES REQUIRES SETTING POSTERIORITIES AS WELL. A PRIORITY IS SOMETHING THAT YOU DO MORE OF AND SOONER, WHEREAS A POSTERIORITY IS SOMETHING YOU DO LESS OF OR LATER. YOU ARE PROBABLY ALREADY OVERWHELED WITH TOO MUCH TO DO AND TOO LITTLE TIME. BECAUSE OF THIS, FOR YOU TO EMBARK ON A NEW TASK, YOU MUST DISCONTINUE AN OLD TASKGETTING INTO SOMETHING NEW REQUIRES GETTING OUT OF AN OTHER ACTIVITY. BEFORE YOU COMMIT TO A NEW UNDERTAKING, ASK YOURSELF, "WHAT AM I GOING TO STOP DOING SO THAT I HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO WORK ON THIS NEW TASK?

                  GO THROUGH YOUR LIFE REGULARLY AND PRACTICE " CREATIVE ABANDONMENT". CONSCIOUSLY DETERMINE THE ACTIVITIES THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DISCONTINUE SO THAT YOU HAVE MORE TIME TO SPEND ON THOSE TASKS THAT CAN REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO YOUR FUTURE.

                                              IDENTIFY THE CONSEQUENCES

                          ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT WORDS IN DEVELOPING THE DISCIPLINE OF TIME MANAGEMENT IS "CONSEQUENCES". SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO THE DEGREE THAT IT HAS SERIOUS POTENTIAL CONSEQUENCES FOR COMPLETION OR NONCOMPETION. A TASK OR ACTIVITY IS UNIMPORTANT TO THE DEGREE THAT IT DOES NOT MATTER IF IT IS DONE OR NOT.

                      FOR EXAMPLE, COMPETING A COURSE OF STUDY AT THE UNIVERSITY CAN HAVE ENORMOUS CONSEQUENCES THAT CAN IMPACT YOUR LIFE FOR THE NEXT FIFTY YEARS. COMPLETING A MAJOR TASK OR PROJECT AT WORK OR MAKING AN IMPORTANT SALE CAN HAVE SIGNIFICANT CONSEQUENCES FOR YOUR JOB AND YOUR INCOME.

                  ON THE OTHER HAND, DRINKING, COFFEE, CHATTING WITH COWORKERS, READING THE NEWSPAPER, SURFING THE INTERNET, OR CHECKING EMAILS MAY BE ENJOYABLE, BUT THESE ACTIVITIES HAVE FEW OR NO CONSEQUENCES. IN OTHER WORDS, WHETHER YOU DO THEN OR NOT MAKES LITTLE TO NO DIFFERENCE TO YOUR WORK OR YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER, IT IS PRECISELY ON THESE ACTITIVITIES THE MOST PEOPLE SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME.

                                                 MANAGING YOUR TIME

                        THERE IS A SIMPLE TIME MANAGEMENT SYSTEM THAT YOU CAN USE TO OVERCOME PROCRASINATION. IT REQUIRES SELF-DISCIPLINE, WILLPOWER, AND PERSONAL ORGANIZATION, BUT THE PAYOFF IS HUGE. WHEN YOU USE THIS SYSTEM, YOU CAN DOUBLE OR EVEN TRIPLE YOUR PRODUCTIVITY, PERFORMANCE, OUTPUT, AND INCOME.

                  BEFORE YOU BEGIN EACH DAY, STARY BY MAKING A LIST OF EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO DO THAT DAY. THE BEST TIME TO MAKE THIS LIST IS THE EVENING BEFORE, AT THE END OF THE WORKDAY, SO THAT YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND CAN WORK ON YOUR LIST OF ACTIVITIES WHILE YOU SLEEP. YOU WILL OFTEN WAKE UP WITH IDEAS AND INSIGHTS FOR HOW TO MORE EFFECTIVELY COMPLETE THE TASTKS OF THE DAY.

                        THEN APPLY THE A B C D METHOD TO YOUR LIST :

                         * A = MUST DO - SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES FOR NONCOMPLETION,

                         * B = SHOULD DO - MILD CONSEQUENCES FOR DOING OR NOT DOING

                         * C = NICE TO DO - NO CONSEQUENCES WHETHER YOU DO IT OR NOT

                        * D = DELEGATE - EVERYTHING YOU POSSIBLY CAN TO FREE UP MORE                                            TIME FOR THOSE THINGS THAT ONLY YOU CAN DO.

                        * E = ELIMINATE - DISCONTINUE ALL TAKS AND ACTIVITIES THAT ARE NO                                      LONGER ESSENTIAL TO YOUR WORK AND TO ACHIEVIN YOUR                                                GOALS.

                    REVIEW YOUR LIST OF ACTIVITIES FOR THE COMING DAY AND WRITE AN A,B,C,D, OR E NEXT TO EACH TASK BEFORE YOU START.

                       IF YOU HAVE SEVERAL "A" TASKS, AND SO ON. DO THIS WITH YOUR B AND C TASKS AS WELL.

                       THE RULE IS THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER DO A B TASK WHEN YOU HAVE AN A TASK LEFT UNDONE. YOU SHOULD NEVER DO A LOWER VALUE TASK WHEN YOU HAVE A HIGHER-VALUE TAKS BEFORE YOU.

                        ONCE YOU HAVE ORGANIZED YOUR LIST USING THIS SYSTEM, DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO START OR YOUR A-1 TASK FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE.

CHANGE YOUR CHILDHOOD RULE

 

                       FROM CHILDHOOD TO MATURITY

                     WHEN YOU ARE GROWING UP, FROM AN EARLY AGE YOU BECOME CONDITIONED TO SEE YOURSELF AS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE. THIS IS NORMAL AND NATURAL. WHEN YOU ARE A CHILD, YOUR PARENTS ARE IN CHARGE. THEY MAKE ALL YOUR DECISIONS. THEY DECIDE WHAT FOOD YOU WILL EAT, WHAT CLOTHES YOU WILL WEAR, WHAT TOYS YOU WILL PLAY WITH, WHAT HOME YOU WILL LIVE IN, WHAT SCHOOL YOU WILL ATTEND, AND WHAT ACTIVITIES YOU WILL ENGAGE IN DURING YOUR SPARE TIME. BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUNG, INNOCENT, AND UNKNOWING, YOU DO WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO. YOU HAVE LITTLE CHOICE OR CONTROL.

                  AS YOU GROW UP, HOWEVER, YOU BEGIN TO MAKE MORE AND MORE OF YOUR OWN DECISIONS IN EACH OF THESE AREAS. BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR EARLY PROGRAMMING, YOU ARE CONDITIONED UNCONSCIOUSLY TO FEEL THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS STILL RESPONSILBLE FOR YOUR LIFE. THAT THERE IS STILL SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE WHO CAN OR SHOULD TAKE CARE OF YOU.

                  MOST PEOPLE GROW UP BELIEVING, THAT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG, SOMEONE ELSE IS RESPONSIBLE. SOMEONE ELSE IS TO BLAME. SOMEONE ELSE IS GUILTY. SOMEONE ELSE IS THE VILLAIN THE THEY ARE THE VICTIM. AS A RESULT, MOST PEOPLE MAKE MORE AND MORE EXCUSES FOR THE THINGS IN THEIR LIVES, PAST AND PRESENT, THAT MAKE THEM UNHAPPY.

                        GET OVER THE MISTAKES YOUR PARENTS MADE

                         IF YOUR PRENTS CRITICIZED YOU OR GOT ANGRY WITH YOU FOR MISTAKES YOU MADE WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP, YOU BEGAN TO UNCONCIOUSLY ASSUME THATSOMEHOW YOU WERE AT FAULT. IF YOUR PARENTS PUNISHED YOU PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY FOR DOING OR NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT PLEASED OR DISPLEAED  THEM, YOU FELT INFERIOR AND INADEQUATE.

                     WHEN YOUR PARENTS WITHHELD THEIR LOVE TO PUNISH YOU FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING THEY DEMANDED, YOU MIGHT HAVE GROWN UP WITH DEEP FEELINGS OF GUILT, UNWORTHINESS, AND UNDESERVINGNESS. ALL THESE NEGATIVE FEELINGS COULD THEN INTERSECT TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A VICTIM, LIKE YOU WRE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF OR YOUR LIFE ONCE YOU BECAME AN ADULT.

                      THE MOST COMMON FEELING THAT WE HAVE AS ADULTS IF WE HAVE BEEN RAISED IN A CRITICAL HOME ENVIRONMENT IS THE FEELING THAT :I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH" BECAUSE OF THIS FEELING, WE COMPARE OURSELVES UNFAVORABLY TO OTHERS. WE THINK THAT OTHER PEOPLE WHO SEEM TO BE HAPPIER OR MORE CONFIDENT ARE BETTER THAN US. WE DEVELOP FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY. THIS CAN BECOME AN EMOTIONAL TRAP.

                                    SELF-DISCIPLINE AND THE GOOD LIFE

                          YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE IS TO ACHIEVE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. NO ONE ELSE CAN DO THIS FOR YOU. THIS PERSONAL DESIRE IS THE MOTIVATION BEHIND ALMOST EVERY BEHAVIOR. MOREOVER, HAPPINESS IS MORE EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL THAN IT IS A MATTER OF ACQUIRING MATERIAL THINGS. IN THIS PART, YOU WILL LEARN HOW THE PRACTICE OF DISCIPLINE IN THE MOST IMPORTANT AREAS OF YOUR LIFE CAN BRING YOU MORE JOY AND SATISFACTION THAN PERHAPS ANY OTHER QUALITY.

                                              THE REASON FOR HAPPINESS

                  IT IS OFTEN THE SIZE OF THE GAP BETWEEN YOUR PRESENT SITUATION AND THE CONDITIONS AND CIRCUMSTANCES THAT YOU FEEL THAT YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY THAT DETERMINES WHETHER YOU ARE HAPPY OR UNHAPPY. THIS IS VERY MUCH A MATTER OF YOUR OWN EVALUATION AND DECISION.              

                    THERE IS AN OLD SAYING THAT "SUCCESS IS GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, HAPPINESS IS WANTING  WHAT YOU GET". WHEN YOUR INCOME AND YOUR LIFE ARE CONSISTENT WITH YOUR GOAL AND EXPECTATIONS AND YOU ARE CONTENT WITH YOUR SITUATION, YOU FEEL HAPPY. IF ON THE OTHER HAND, FOR ANY REASON YOUR CURRENT SITUATION IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU REALLY WANT AND EXPECT, YOU WILL BE DISCONTENED AND UNHAPPY.

                 THIS STATE OF CONTENTMENT CAN BE CONSTANTLY CHANGING, WHEN YOU START OFF IN YOUR CAREER, AN INCOME OF $ 50000 PER YEAR CAN SEEM LIKE A HUGE ACHIEVEMENT. BUT ONCE YOU NOT EARNING $100000 OR MORE. SOME PEOPLE ARE UNHAPPY EARNING A MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR.

                                             HAPPINESS IS A BY-PRODUCT

                   THE INTERESTING THING ABOUT HAPPINESS IS THAT IT IS NOT A GOAL THAT YOU CAN AIM AT AND ACHIEVE IN AND OF ITSELF. HAPPINESS IS A BY-PRODUCT THAT COMES TO YOU WHEN YOU ARE ENGAGED IN DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU REALLY ENJOY WHILE IN THE COMPANY OF PEOPLE WHO YOU LIKE AND RESPECT.

                     EARL NIGHTINGALE, PERHAPS THE MOST FAMOUS AND RESPECTED RADIO COMMENTATOR ON SUCCESS IN HISTORY, SAID THAT "HAPPINESS IS THE PROGRESSIVE REALIZATION OF A WORTHY IDEAL". WHENEVER YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE MOVING, STEP-BY-STEP, TOWARD SOMETHING THAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, TOWARD YOUR MOST IMPORTANT GOALS, YOU AUTOMATICALLY FEEL HAPPY. YOU FEEL SATISFIED AND CONTENT. YOU FEEL A TREMENDOUS SENSE OF PERSONAL GROWTH AND WELL-BEING.

SEFL - DISCIPLINE AND GOALS

 

                               MULTIPLY YOUR CHANCES

                          YOUR ABILITY TO DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO SET CLEAR GOALS FOR YOURSEFL AND THEN TO WORK TOWARD THEM EVERY DAY WILL DO MORE TO GUARANTEE YOUR SUCCESS THAN ANY OTHER SINGLE FACTOR. YOU NEED TO HAVE GOALS TO ACCOMPLISH WORTHWHILE THINGS IN LIFE. YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD IT SAID THAT "YOU CAN'T HIT A TARGET THAT YOU CAN'T SEE".

                         "IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING, ANY ROAD WILL GET YOU                               THERE ".

                       AND AS WAYNE GRETSKY SAID, "YOU MISS EVERY SHOT YOU DON'T TAKE".

                        THE VERY ACT OF TAKING THE TIME TO DECIDE WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN EACH AREA OF YOUR LIFE CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE COMPLETELY.

                     

                                                   THE 3 PERCENT FACTOR

                            IT SEEMS THAT ONLY 3 PERCENT OF ADULTS HAVE WRITTEN GOALS AND PLANS, AND THIS 3 PERCENT EARN MORE THAN ALL OF THE OTHER 97 PERCENT PUT TOGETHER.

                           WHAT IS THIS? THIS SIMPEST ANSWER IS THAT IF YOU HAVE CLEAR GOAL AND A PLANTO ACHIEVE IT, YOU THEREFORE HAVE A TRACK BY DISTRACTIONS AND DIVERSIONS, GETTING LOST OR GOING ASTRAY, MORE AND MORE OF YOUR TIME IS FOCUSED IN A STRAIGHT LINE - FROM WHERE YOU ARE TO WHERE YOU WANT TO GO. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE WITH GOALS ACCOMPLISH SO MUCH MORE THAN PEOPLE WITHOUT THEM.

                       THE TRAGEDY IS THAT MOST PEOPLE THINK THAT THEY ALREADY HAVE GOALS. BUT WHAT THEY REALLY HAVE ARE HOPES AND WISHES. HOWEVER, HOPE IS NOT A STRAGEGY FOR SUCCESS, AND A WISH HAS BEEN DEFINED AS A "GOAL WITH NO ENERGY BEHIND IT".

                       GOALS THAT ARE NOT WRITTEN DOWN AND DEVELOPED INTO PLAN ARE LIKE BULLETS WITHOUT POWDER IN THE CARTRIDGE. PEOPLE WITH UNWRITTEN GOALS GO THROUGH LIFE SHOOTING BLANKS. BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY ALREADY HAVE GOALS, THEY NEVER ENGAGE IN THE HARD, DISCIPLINED EFFORT OF GOAL-SETTING-AND THIS IS THE MASTER SKILL OF SUCCESS.

                                     MULTIPLY YOUR CHANES OF SUCCESS

                     IN 2006, USA TODAY REPORTED A STUDY IN WHICH RESEARCHERS SELECTED A LARGE NUMBER PEOPLE WHO HAD MADE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS. THEY THEN DIVIDED THESE PEOPLE INTO TWO CATEGORIES, THOSE WHO HAD SET NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS AND WRITTEN THEM DOWN AND THOSE WHO HAD SET NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS BUT HAD NOT WRITTEN THEM DOWN.

                    TWELVE MONTHS LATER, THEY FOLLOWED UP ON THE RESPONDENTS IN THIS STUDY, AND WHAT THEY FOUND WAS ASTONISHING. OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAD SET NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS BUT HAD NOT WRITTEN THEM DOWN, ONLY 4 PERCENT HAD ACTUALLY FOLLOWED THROUGH ON THEIR RESOLUTIONS. BUT  AMONG THE GROUP WHO HAD WRITTEN DOWN THEIR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS (AN EXERCISE REDQUIRING ONLY A COUPLE OF MINUTES), 44 PERCENT HAD FOLLOWED THROUGH ON THEM. THIS IS A DIFFERENCE OF MORE THAN 1100 PERCENT IN SUCCESS, AND IT WAS ACHIEVED BY THE SIMPLE ACT OF CRYSTALLIZING THE RESOLUTIONS OR GOALS ON PAPER.

                                             THE DISCIPLINE OF WRITING 

                   IN MY EXPERIENCE OF WORKING WITH SEVERAL MILLION PEOPLE OVER THE PAST TWENTY-FIVE YEARS, THE DISCIPLINED ACT OF WRITING OUR GOALS, MAKING PLAN FOR ACCOMPLISHING THEM, AND THEN WORKING ON THOSE GOALS DAILY INCREASE THE LIKEHOOD OF ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS BY TEN TIMES, OR 1000 PERCENT.

                THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT WRITING OUT YOUR GOALS GUARANTEE SUCCESS, BUT RATHER THAN IT INCREASES THE PROBABALITY OF SUCCESS BY TEN TIMES. THERE ARE VERY GOOD ODDS TO HAVE WORKING IN YOUR FAVOR, ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE IS NO COST OR RISK INVOLVED IN PUTTING PEN TO PAPER - JUST A LITTLE TIME.

                  WRITING IS CALLED "PSYCHO-NEURO-MOTOR ACTIVITY". THE ART OF WRITING FORCES YOU TO THINK AND CONCENTRATE. IT FORCES YOU TO CHOOSE WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU AND YOUR FUTURE. AS A RESULT, WHEN YOU WRITE DOWN A GOAL, YOU IMPRESS INTO YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, WHICH THEN GOAS TO WORK TWENTY-FOUR HOURS DAY TO BRING YOUR GOAL TO REALITY.

               SOMETIMES I TELL MY SEMINAR AUDIENCES, "ONLY 3 PERCENT OF ADULTS HAVE WRITTEN GOALS, AND EVERYONE ELSE WORKS FOR THOSE PEOPLE". IN LIFE, YOU EITHER WORK TO ACHIEVE YOUR OWN GOALS OR YOU WORK TO ACHIEVE THE GOALS OF SOMEONE ELSE. WHAT IS IT GOING TO BE?

                                 SUCCEESS VERSUS FAILURE MECHANISMS

                            YOUR BRAIN HAS BOTH A SUCCESS MECHANISM AND A FAILURE MECHANISM. THE FAILURE MECHANISM IS THE TEMPTATION TO FOLLOW THE UNDISCIPLINED PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE, TO DO WHAT IS FUN AND EASY RATHER THAN WHAT IS HARD AND NECESSARY. YOUR FAILURE MECHANISM OPERATES AUTOMATICALLY THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE, WHICH IS THE MAJOR REASON WHY MOST THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE, WHICH IS THE MAJOR REASON WHY MOST PEOPLE FAIL TO FULLFILL THEIR INDIVIDUAL POTENTIALS.

                             WHILE YOUR FAILURE MECHANISM FUNCTIONS AUTOMATICALLY, YOUR SUCCESS MECHANISM IS TRIGGERED BY A GOAL. WHEN YOU DECIDE ON A GOAL, YOU OVERRIDE YOUR FAILURE MECHANISM, AND CAN YOU CHANGE THE DIRECTION OF YOUR LIFE. YOU GO FROM BEING A SHIP WITHOUT A RUDDER, DRIFTING WITH THE TIDE, TO BEING A SHIP WITHOUT A RUDDER,  DRIFTING WITH THE TIDE, TO BEING A SHIP WITH A RUDDER, A COMPASS, AND A CLEAR DESTINATION, SAILING IN A STRAIGHT DIRECTION TOWARD YOUR GOALS.

                                                    THE POWER OF GOALS

                     A CLIENT OF MINE RECENTLY TOLE ME IN INTERESTING STORY. HE SAID HE HAD ATTENTED ONE OF MY SEMINARS IN 1994, WHERE I SPOKE ABOUT THE IMPORTANT OF WRITING DOWN GOALS AND MAKING PLANS FOR ACCOMPLISHING THEM. AT THAT TIME, HE WAS THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, SELLING CARS OF A DEALERSHIP IN NASHVILLE, AND EARNING ABOUT $50000 A YEAR.

                     HE TOLD ME THAT DAY CHANGED HIS LIFE. HE BEGAN WRITING OUT HIS GOALS AND PLANS AND WORKING ON THEM DAILY. TWELVE YEARS LATER, HE WAS EARNING MORE THAN $1 MILLION A YEAR AND WAS THE PRESIDENT OF A FAST-GROWING COMPANY THAT SELLS SERVICES TO SOME OF THE BIGGEST COMPANIES IN THE COUNTRY. HE TOLD ME HE COULD NOT IMAGINE WHAT HIS LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE IF HE HAD NOT TAKEN OUT A PIECE OF PAPER AND WRITTEN DOWN THE GOALS HE WANTED TO ACHIEVE IN THE YEARS AHEAD.

THE KEY TO THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY

 

                     NO LIMITS ON YOUR POTENTIAL

                      THE AVERAGE INCOME INCREASE IN AMERICA IS ABOUT 3 PERCENT A YEAR, JUST ABOUT THE SAME AS THE RATE OF INFLATION AND COST OF LIVING INCREASES. PEOPLE WHOSE INCOME IS INCREASING AT 3 PERCENT A YEAR SELDOM GET AHEAD. THEY HAVE A JOB, WHICH CAN BE THOUGH OF AS AN ACRONYM FOR "JUST OVER BROKE".

                     BUT THE FACT IS THAT NO ONE IS BETTER THAN YOU, AND NO ONE IS SMARTER THAN YOU. IF SOMEONE IS DOING BETTER THAN YOU ARE TODAY, IT IS SIMPLY PROOF THAT HE HAS LEARNED HOW THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT APPLIES TO HIS WORK, AND HE HAS BEGUN DOING THE THINGS THAT OTHER SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE HAVE ALSO DONE. THE APPLICATION OF THE LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT TO YOUR PERSONAL LIFE IS "LEARN AND DO".

                     THE ACHIEVEMENT OF PERSONAL EXCELLLENCE IS A DECISION YOU MAKE  OR THAT YOU FAIL TO MAKE. BUT IN THE ABSENCE OF A COMMITMENT TO EXCELLENCE IN YOUR CHOSEN FIELD, YOU AUTOMATICALLY DEFAULT TO AVERAGE PERFORMANCE - OR EVEN MEDIOCRITY. NO ONE BECOMES EXCELLENT ACCIDENTALLY OR BY JUST GOING TO WORK EACH DAY. EXCELLENCE REQUIRES A DEFINITE DECISION AND A LIFELONG COMMITMENT.

                             THE KEY TO THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY

                       KNOWLEDGE AND SKILL ARE THE KEYS TO THE TWENTY-FIVE CENTURY. BECOMING THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE AND MOVING TO THE TOP OF YOUR FIELD REQUIRE THE APPLICATION OF SELF-DISCIPLINE THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE. MENTAL FITNESS IS LIKE PHYSICAL FITNESS, IF YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE EITHER, YOU MUST WORK AT IT ALL YOUR LIFE. YOU CAN NEVER LET UP. YOU MUST BE CONTINUALLY LEARNING AND GROWING - EVERY DAY, WEEK, AND MONTH - THROUGHOUT YOUR CAREER (AND IN OTHER AREAS OF YOUR LIFE) IF YOU'RE GOING TO JOIN THE TOP 20 PERCENT AND STAY THERE. TO EARN MORE, YOU MUST LEARN MORE.

                   ABRAHIM LINCOLN ONCE WROTE, "THE FACT THAT SOME HAVE BECOME WEALTHY IS PROOF THAT OTHERS MAY DO IT AS WELL".

                    WHAT OTHERS HAVE DONE, YOU CAN DO AS WELL- IF YOU LEAN HOW. EVERYONE WHO IS AT THE TOP WAS ONCE AT THE BOTTOM. MANY PEOPLE WHO COME FROM AVERAGE OR POOR FAMILIES WITH AVERAGE INCOMES OR WHO GROW UP IN AVERAGE CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE GONE ON TO BECOME SOME OF THE MOST PROMINENT PEOPLE IN THEIR FIELDS. AND WHAT HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS AND EVEN MILLIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE HAVE DONE, YOU CAN DO AS WELL. THE PHILOSOPHER BERTRAND RUSSELL ONCE WROTE THAT "THE VERY BEST PROOF THAT SOMETHING CAN BE DONE IS THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS ALREADY DONE IT.

                                        ORDINARY INTO EXTRAORDINARY

                          VERY OFTEN, YOU SEE PEOPLE WHO DON'T SEEM TO BE AS INTELLIGENT OR AS TALENTED AS YOU ARE WHO ARE NONETHELESS ACCOMPLISHING REMARKABLE THINGS WITH THEIR LIVES. THERE IS NOTHING THAT WILL MAKE YOU ANGRIER THAN TO SEE SOMEONE WHO SEEMS TO BE DUMBER THAN YOU DOING BETTER THAN YOU. HOW CAN THIS BE ?

 

                           THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. AT A CERTAIN POINT IN THEIR LIVES, THEY REALIZED THAT THE KEY TO SUCCESS WAS  PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL GROWTH. IT WAS A DEDICATION TO LIFELONG LEARNING.

                         THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT ALMOST EVERY IMPORTANT SKILL IS LEARNABLE. EVERY BUSINESS SKILL IS LEARNABLE. EVERYONE WHO IS PROFFICIENT IN ANY AREA OF BUSINESS SKILL IS LEARNABLE. EVERYONE WHO IS PROFICIENT IN ANY AREA OF BUSINESS WAS AT ONE TIME COMPLETELY IGNORANT IN THAT AREA. EVERY SALES SKILL IS LEARNABLE. EVERY TOP SALESPERSON WAS ONCE A BEGINNING SALESPAPER AND UNABLE TO MAKE A CALL OR CLOSE A SALE. ALL MONEYMAKING SKILL ARE LEARNABLE AS WELL. ALMOST EVERY WEALTHY PERSON WAS ONCE POOR. YOU CAN LEARN ANYTHING YOU NEED TO LEARN TO ACHIEVE ANY GOAL YOU CAN SET FOR YOURSELF.

     

                                                     MAKE A DECISION

                        THE STARTING POINT OF YOUR MOVING UPWARD AND ONWARD TOWARD BECOMING ONE OF THE MOST COMPETENT, MOST RESPECTED, AND HIGHEST PAID PEOPLE IN YOUR FIELD IS SIMPLE. MAKE A DECISION!

                       IT IS SAID THAT EVERY MAJOR CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE COMES ABOUT WHEN YOUR MIND COLLIDES WITH A NEW IDEA, AND YOU THEN MAKED A DECISION TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. YOU MAKE A DECISION TO COMPLETE YOUR EDUCATION, UPGRADE YOUR SKILLS, OR GET INTO A OOD COLLEGE. YOU MAKE A DECISION TO START A NEW BUSINESS. YOU MAKE A DECISION TO TAKE A PARTICULAR JOB OR START A PARTICULAR CAREER. YOU MAKE A DECISION TO INVEST YOUR MONEY IN A PARTICULAR WAY. AND, ESPECIALLY, YOU MAKE A DECISION TO BE THE BEST IN YOUR FIELD.

                 MANY PEOPLE SAY THAT THEY WOULD LIKE TO BE HAPPY, HEALTHY, THIN, AND RICH. BUT (AS DISCUSSED IN CHAPTER 4) WISHING AND HOPING ARE NOT ENOUGH. YOU HAVE TO MAKE A FIRM, UNEQUIVOCAL DECISION THAT YOU ARE GOING TO PAY ANY PRICE AND GO ANY DISTANCE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO PAY ANY PRICE AND GO ANY DISTANCE IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THE GOALS YOU HAVE SET FOR YOURSELF. YOU HAVE TO MAKE THAT DECISION AND THEN BURN YOUR MENTAL BRIDGES BEHIND YOU. FROM THAT MINUTE ON, YOU RESOLVE TO CONTINUE WORKING ON YOURSELF AND YOUR CRAFT UNTIL YOU REACH THE TOP 20 PERCENT - OR BEYOND.

                          FOLLOW THE LEADERS, NOT THE FOLLOWERS

              WHEN YOU DECIDE TO BE ONE OF THE BEST PEOPLE IN YOUR FIELD, LOOK AROUND YOU AND IDENTIFY THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ALREADY AT THE TOP:

                       * WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO THEY HAVE IN COMMON?

                       * HOW DO THEY PLAN AND ORGANIZE THEIR DAYS ?

                       * HOW DO THEY DRESS ?

                       * HOW DO THEY WALK, TALK, AND BEHAVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE?

                       * WHAT BOOKS DO THEY READ?

                       * HOW DO THEY SPEND THEIR SPARE TIME?

                      * WHO DO THEY ASSOCIATE WITH ?

                      * WHAT COURSES HAVE THEY TAKEN?

                     * WHAT AUDIO PROGRAMS DO THEY LISTEN TO IN THEIR CARS?

                    THESE ARE JUST A FEW OF THE QUESTIONS YOU SHOULD ASK IN ORDER TO FIND OUT WHAT SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ARE DOING THAT YOU MIGHT ALSO NEED TO DO. AFTER ALL YOU, CAN'T HIT A TARGET THAT YOU CAN'T SEE.

                     YOUR SELECTION OF THE RIGHT ROLE MODELS CAN HAVE AN ENORMOUS IMPACT ON YOUR FUTURE. DR.DAVID MACLELLAND OF HARVARD AND AUTHOR OF THE ACHIEVING SOCIETY CONCLUDED THAT YOUR CHOICE OF A "REFEENCE GROUP" CAN DETERMINE AS MUCH AS 95 PERCENT OF YOUR SUCCESS AND ACHIEVEMENT IN LIFE. YOUR REFERENCE GROUP IS MADE OF THE PEOPLE WHO YOU FEEL ARE "JUST LIKE ME". YOUR NATURAL TENDENCY IS TO ADOPT THE ATTITUDES, STYLES OF DRESS, OPINIONS, AND LIFESTYLES OF THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU IDENTIFY AND ASSOCIATE MOST OF THE TIME.

COURAGE AND FEAR

 

           

                           LEADERS HAVE TWO TYPES 

                                         OF COURAGE

                   IN LEADERSHIP, THE MOST COMMON QUALITY IS THAT OF VISION. LEADERS HAVE A CLEAR VISION OF WHERE THEY WANT TO TAKE THEIR ORGANIZATIONS. LEADERS ALSO HAVE A CLEAR VISION OF WHERE THEY WANT TO BE SOMETIMES IN THE FUTURE IN THEIR PERSONAL LIVES.

                     THE SECOND MOST COMMON QUALITY OF LEADERS IS THAT OF COURAGE. LEADERS HAVE THE COURAGE TO DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY TO FULLFILL THEIR VISION. THEY LEAD FROM THE FRONT AND DARE TO GO FORWARD.

                   THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF COURAGE THAT YOU NEED:

                    FIRST, YOU NEED THE COURAGE TO LAUNCH, TO TAKE ACTION, TO TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH. YOU NEED THE COURAGE TO GO "ALL IN" WITHOUT ANY GUARANTEE OF SUCCESS AND WITH A HIGH POSIBILITY OF FAILURE, AT LEAST IN THE SHORT TERM. THE MAJOR FAILING THAT HOLDS MOST PEOPLE BACK IS THAT IN SPITEOF ALL THEIR BEST INTENTIONS, THEY DON'T HAVE THE COURAGE TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP.

                      THE SECOND TYPE OF COURAGE THAT YOU NEED IS CALLED "COURAGEOUS PATIENCE". THIS IS THE ABILITY TO HANG IN THERE AND CONTINUE WORKING AND FIGHTING AFTER YOU HAVE GONE ALL IN AND BEFORE YOU HAVE YET SEEN ANY RESULTS OR REWARDS. MANY PEOPLE CAN MUSTER UP THE COURAGE TO TAKE ACTION TOWARD QUICKLY GOAL, BUT WHEN THEY SEE NO IMMEDIATE RESULT THEY QUICKLY LOSE HEART AND PULL BACK TO SAFETY AND SECURITY. THEY DON'T HAVE STAYING POWER.

                                      DEAL WITH THE FEAR DIRECTLY

                  THE ONLY WAY TO DEAL WITH A FEAR IS A ADDRESS IS HEAD-ON. REMIND YOURSELF THAT "DENIAL" IS NOT A RIVER IN EGYPT. THED NATURAL TENDENCY OF MANY PEOPLE IS TO DENY THAY THEY HAVE A PROBLEM CAUSED BY FEAR OF SOME KIND. THEY'RE AFRAID OF CONFRONTING IT. IN TURN, IT BECOMES A MAJOR SOURCE OF STRESS, UNHAPPINESS, AND PSYCHOSOMATIC ILLNESS.

                     BE WILLING TO DEAL WITH THE SITUATION OR PERSON DIRECTLY. AS SHAKESPEARE SAID, "TAKE ARMS AGAINST A SEA OF TROUBLES, AND IN SO DOING, END THEM.

                   THE COMPANION OF FEAR IS WORRY. LIKE TWIN SISTERS, FEAR AND WORRY GO AROUND TOGETHER. MARK TWAIN ONCE WROTE, I HAVE WORRIED ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS IN LIFE, AND MOST OF THEM NEVER HAPPENED".

                  IT HAS BEEN ESTIMATED THAT 99 PERCENT OF THE THINGS THAT YOU WORRY ABOUT NEVER HAPPEN. AND MOST OF THE THINGS THAT DO HAPPEN, HAPPEN SO QUICKLY THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

                                                 THE DISASTER REPORT

                 WHENEVER YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT SOMETHING, FILL OUT A "DISASTER REPORT" ON THE SITUATION. THIS WILL DESTROY YOUR FEAR AND WORRY ALMOST INSTANTLY. THIS IS OFTEN CALLED THE "WORRY BUSTER". THE DISASTER REPORT HAS FOUR PARTS:

                  * FIRST, DEFINE THE WORRY SITUATION CLEARLY. WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU WORRIEAD ABOUT? VERY OFTEN, WHEN YOU TAKE THE TIME TO BE COMPLETELY CLEAR ABOUT THE WORRY SITUATION, A WAY TO RESOLVE THE SITUATION BECOME IMMEDIATELY EVIDENT.

                * SECOND, IDENTIFY THE WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN IF THIS WORRY SITUATION WERE TO TAKE PLACE. WOULD YOU LOSE YOUR JOB? WOULD YOU LOSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP? WOULD YOU LOSE YOUR MONEY? WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN? BE CLEAR ABOUT THIS. IN MANY CASES, YOU WILL SEE THAT SHOULD THE WORST OCCUR, IT WOULD NOT RUIN YOU. IT MIGHT BE INCONVENIENT OR UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT YOU WOULD EVENTUALLY RECOVER. YOU WILL FIND THAT IT'S PROBABLY NOT WORTH ALL THE WORRY THAT YOU ARE DEVOTING TO IT.

                   * THIRD, RESOLVE TO ACCEPT THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME, SHOULD IT OCCUR. SAY TO YOURSELF, "WELL, IF THAT HAPPENS, IT WON'T KILL ME. I WILL FIND A WAY TO GET ALONG". MOST OF THE STRESS OF WORRY COMES FROM DENIAL, FROM NOT BEING WILLING TO FACE THE WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN. BUT ONCE YOU HAVE RESOLVED TO ACCEPT THE WORST (SHOULD IT OCCUR) ALL THE WORRY AND STRESS SEEM TO DISSAPPEAR.

                   * FOURTH, BEGIN IMMEDIATELY TO IMPROVE ON THE WORST. TAKE EVER STEP THAT YOU POSSBLY CAN TO MAKE SURE THAT THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME DOES NOT OCCUR. TAKE ACTION IMMEDIATELY. DO SOMETHING. GET ON WITH IT. ACT QUICKLY. GET SO BUSY MAKING SURE THAT THE WORST THING DOES NOT HAPPEN THAT YOU HAVE NO TIME TO WORRY.

                                                         THE REAL ANTIDOTE

                        IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, THE ONLY REAL CURE FOR FEAR OR WORRY IS DISCIPLINED, PURPOSEFUL ACTION IN THE DIRECTION OF YOUR GOALS. GET SO BUSY WORKING ON YOUR GOALS OR THE SOLUTIONS TO YOUR PROBLEMS THAT YOU HAVE NO TIME TO BE AFRAID OR TO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING.

                        WHEN YOU PRACTIVE THE SELF-DISCIPLINE OF COURAGE AND FORCE YOURSELF TO FACE ANY FEAR-INDUCING SITUATION IN YOUR LIFE, YOUR SELF-ESTEEM GOES UP, YOUR SELF-RESPECT INCREASES, AND YOUR SENSE OF PERSONAL PRIDE GROWS. YOU EVENTUALLY REACH THE POINT IN LIFE WHERE YOU ARE NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.

                       ONCE YOU HAVE DEVELOPED THE COURAGE TO STEP OUT IN FAITH, YOU MUST THEN DEVELOP THE SELF-DISCIPLINE OF PERSISTENCE, WHICH WE WILL TALK ABOUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.