THE AGE OF EARTH AND SUN

 

                                  THE SIX BILLION 

                                YEARS OF 👀 SUN👀

                  APPROACH OF THE DOOMSDAY IS A PERIOD OF GREAT UPHEAVEL ON THE EARTH. IN THE FOLLOWING SECTON WE SHALL DISCUSS SOME OF THE GREAT EVENTS RELATED WITH THE DOOMSDAY, WHICH COULD BE OF SPECIAL INTEREST IN UNDERSTANDING THIS REALITY, IN REAL TERMS. AN EFFORT HAS BEEN MADE TO ASSIGN CAUSES TO SUCH EVENTS, WHICH SHOULD BE HELPFUL TO THOSE WHO MIGHT LIKE TO PERSUE THIS SUBJECT FOR FURTHER RESEARCH.

                                      OCEANS WILL BOIL

                         HOLY QURAN INFORMS THAT DURING PHASE OF THE EARTH'S DOOMSDAY, OCEANS WILL BOIL OVER. A DIRECT REFERENCE TO THIS PHENOMENON IS FOUND IN VERSE 82 GIVEN BELOW.

                          (CONSIDER THE EVENTS),

                           WHEN THE OCEANS 

                            BOIL OVER

                           BOILING OF OCEANS MAY BE EXPLAINED TO HAPPEN IN SEVERAL WAYS. ONE POSSIBILITY SEEMS DUE TO THE HIGH TEMPERATURES ON THE EARTH, BY HAVING BEEN BROUGHT CLOSER TO THE SUN AS VISUALISED BY THE IMPACT THEORY DISCUSSED ALREADY. UNDER THE COMBINED EFFECTS OF HIGHER ROTATIONAL VELOCITY, TEMPERATURE AND GRAVITATIONAL PULL, THE EARTH WOULD BEGIN TO LOOSE ITS ATMOSPHERE, REDUCING ITS ATMOSPHERIC PRESSURE. CONSEQUENTLY, THE WATER IN THE OCEANS WILL BEGIN TO BOIK AND ULTIMATELY LOST TO SPACE.

                        A MORE LIKELY CAUSE OF THE BOILING OF OCEANS MAY BE SEEN IN THE EXPLOSION THEORY. THIS WILL BE DUE TO THE RELEASE OF INTERNAL HEAT OF THE EARTH. IT MAY ALSO BE ATTRIBUTED TO THE EXCESSIVE VOLCANIC ACTIVITY WHICH, AS TOLD BY THE PROPHET OF ALLAH, ARE GOING TO BE VERY FREQUENT NEAR THE DOOMSDAY. ON A LIMITED SCALE, THE BOILING OF SEA WATER DUE TO THE UNDER-WATER VOLCANIC ACTIVITY IS A WELL OBSERVED PHENOMENON EVEN NOW.

                    ANOTHER POSSIBILITY FOR THE RISE OF TEMPERATURE ON EARTH AND SUBSEQUENT BOILING OF SEAS COULD BE DUE TO THE EXPANSION OF THE SUN. ACCORDING TO ONE SCIENTIFIC HYPOTHESIS IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH THE AGEING OF THE SUN IN FIVE TO SIX BILLION YEARS. THUS WE SEE THAT OCEANS COULD BOIL IN MANY WAYS. ONE OR A COMBINATION OF SOME OF THESE MECHANISMS, COULD BRING ABOUT THIS EVENT NEAR THE DOOMSDAY.

                           ANOTHER INTERPRETATION OF VERSE 82 IS THAT OCEANS WILL OVER FLOW. THIS CAN BE POSSIBLE DUE TO GLOBAL RISE IN TEMPERATURE, WHICH WILL MELT ICE AT THE POLES AND MOUNTAINS AND SUBSEQUENT OVERFLOWING OF THE OCEANS ON LAND MASSES. ALREADY SCIENTIFIC MEASUREMENTS SUGGEST THAT TEMPERATURE IS RISING NOW, WHICH IN TURN IS CAUSING THE RISE IN SEA LEVEL BY FEW CENTIMETERS EVERY YEAR.

                             OCEANS CATCH FIRE

                           OCEANS CATCHING FIRE IS ANOTHER DRAMATIC EVENT OF THE NEW DOOMSDAY EVENTS, TOLD BY THE QURANIC VERSE IN THE FOLLOWING MANNER.

                        (CONSIDER) WHEN THE OCEANS WOULD

                         BURST ON FIRE.

                     ONE CAN IMAGINE THAT CAUSE OF FIRE IN THE OCEANS WOULD BE DUE TO SOME OTHER REASON THAN THE SIMPLE EFFECT OF HIGHER TEMPERATURES ON THE EARTH NEAR ITS DOOMSDAY. IT IS MORE LIKELY TO HAPPEN DUE TO BURSTING OF THE EARTH'S INTERIOR, WHICH IS EXPLAINABLE IN TERMS OF THE EXPLOSION THEORY DISCUSSED ALREADY. TO A LESSER DEGREE, THE SAME IS POSSIBLE BY THE VIOLENT RELEASE OF RED HOT LAVA BENEATH THE SEA DUE VOLCANIC ACITIVITY. THIS PHENOMENON HAS BEEN NOTICED IN THE PAST ALSO WITH SUBMARINE VOLCANIC ACTIVITY SUCH AS THAT OF KARAKATO.

                             HYDROCARBON IN THE 

                           INTERIOR OF THE EARTH

 

                      KNOWING THAT WATER CANNOT CATCH FIRE EASILY, WE MAY DRAW A VERY IMPORTANT COROLLARY FROM VERSES , THAT THE INTERIOR OF THE EARTH MAY CONTAIN LARGE AMOUNTS OF HYDROCARBONS, LIKE METHANE, WHICH NEAR THE DOOMSDAY WILL GUSH OUT FROM BENEATH THE SEA BEDS, AND ON CATCHING FIRE WILL PRODUCE THE EFFECT OF OCEANS BEING ON FIRE. THE SAME IS POSSIBLE THROUGH THE SPLIT OF UNDER-SEA  PETROLEUM RESERVOIRS, WHICH CAN OCCUR WITH THE BREAK OF EARTH'S CRUST BENEATH THE SEAS, THROUGH VIOLENT EARTHQUAKES DURING ITS DOOMSDAY.

                        THE HYPOTHESIS OF HYDROCARBONS TRAPPED IN THE INTERIOR OF THE EARTH, HAS GREAT SIGNIFICANCE IN SOLVING THE FUTURE ENERGY NEEDS OF THE MANKIND. CAPABILITY OF DEEP DRILLING IS A PREREQUISITE TO ESTABLISH THIS THEORY.

HOW OUR EARTH DESTROY (HOLY QURAN)

 

                            THE HOLY QURAN TOLD ABOUT

                                   OUR EARTH DOOMSDAY

                                                      👀

                 THE ARE A NUMBER OF VERSES IN THE HOLY QURAN WHICH VIVIDLY DESCRIBE THE EVENTS OF GREAT UPHEAVAL BEFORE THE EARTH'S DOOMDSAY. FROM THIS INFORMATION , A SCIENTIFIC MIND CAN WORK BACKWARD AND ANALYSE THE ACTUAL MECHANISM OF THESE EVENTS. IT MUST HOWEVER, BE REALIZED THAT THE MECHANISM DESCRIBED HEREIN IS BASED UPON LOGICAL REASONING, AND IS THEREFORE SUBJECT TO CHANGE AND IMPROVEMENT.

                                START OF THE DOOMSDAY

                                                                                👀

                   WE HAVE DISCUSSED IN THE LIGHT OF THE HOLY QURAN THAT START UP OF THE EARTH'S DOOMSDAY IS GOING TO BE IN SOME SUDDEN WAY. IN VERSES 69, IT IS POINTED OUT TO OCCUR WITH A TERRIBLE INTENSE SOUND, REFERRED SO IN ARABIC AS THE SOOR. WHAT WILL BE THE MECHANISM OF THIS SUDDEN SOUNDING OF THE DOOMDSAY? A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF THE RELEVANT VERSES OF THE HOLY QURAN LEADS ONE OF THE FOLLOWING THREE POSSIBLE MECHANISMS OF THIS GREAT EVENT.

                                     A GREAT CRASH

                                                                               ❤

                      MOST LIKELY THE EARTH'S DOOMDSAY WILL BE INITIATED WITH THE STRIKE OF SOME HEAVELY BODY FROM OUTER SPACE SUCH AS A GIANT METEOR. IT IS ALSO POSSIBLE THAT WITH THE IMPACT OF SUCH A LARGE MASS, THE EARTH WILL BE PUSHED OUT OF ITS ORBIT, AND SUBSEQUENTLY WITH EACH CYCLE IT WILL COME CLOSER TO THE SUN UNTILL IT IS FINALLY DESTROYED BY ACTUALLY FALLING INTO THE SUN. THIS MAY ALSO LEAD TO A GRADUAL UPHEAVEL OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM TOO. SUCH A SEVERE IMPACT, IS ALSO LIKELY TO BREATH THE EARTH, HUGE AMOUNT OF LAVA BURSTING OUT OF THE INTERIOR OF THE EARTH.

                                    A GREAT EXPLOSION

                                                       ❤

                          THIS REPRESENTS A MUCH MORE DRAMATIC END TO THE EARTH. INSIDE ITS BODY, THE EARTH CONTAINS MOLTEN LAVA UNDER VERY HIGH PRESSURES. THE EARTH HAS ALSO BEEN CONTRACTING IN SIZE SINCE ITS INCEPTION. IN THE BEGINNIG IT WAS PROBABLY, 100 TIMES ITS PRESENT SIZE. AS THE EARTH CONTRACTS, INTERNAL PRESSURE IN ITS CORE IS ALSO RISING. A STAGE MAY REACH WHEN IT CAN NO LONGER HOLD BACK THAT PRESSURE, AND WILL EXPLODE LIKE A PRESSURE VESSEL, AND BE DESTROYED SUDDENLY. THIS THEORY IS BACKED UP BY THE GENERAL PRINCIPLE OF DOOMSDAY DERIVED FROM VERSE 21 WHICH IS THAT UNIVERSE WILL SEE ITS END WHEN ITS PRESENT MODE OF EXPANSION CHANGES INTO CONTRACTION.

                          AN IMAPACT AND EXPLOSION

                                                                              👀

                        PERHAPS BOTH THE IMPACT MECHANISM AND THE EXPLOSION MECHANISM WILL HE PART OF THE EARTH'S DOOMDSAY. MAY BE THE IMPACT OF A FOREIGN BODY BECOMES THE CAUSES OF THE EXPLOSION, THE GREAT CRASH MAKE THE START OF THE DOOMDSAY, AND THE EXPLOSION MAY THEN COMPLETE IT.

                        IN THE FOLLOWING WE SHALL DISCUSS THESE ISSUES IN GREATER DETAIL, WITH SPECIFIC REFERENCE TO THE HOLY QURAN AND THE CURRENT SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS. IT SHOULD HOWEVER, BE REMEMBERED THAT ALLAH HAS POWER OVER THE PHYSICAL LAWS. HE CAN MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN AT ANY TIME.

                                                            👀

                                "  SURELY HIS COMMAND

                                  WHEN HE INTENDS A THING,

                                  IS ONLY THAT HE SAYS TO IT BE! (KUN)

                                  AND IT IS THERE ".

HOW OUR BRAIN WORKING

 

                              THE INTERESTING POINTS

                                     ABOUT OUR BRAIN

                                       ( OPPORTUNITY )

                            THE HUMAN BRAIN IS BY NO MEANS FULLY FORMED A BIRTH. IT CONTINUES TO SHAPE ITSELF THROUGH LIFE, WITH THE MOST INTENSE GROWTH OCCURING DURING CHILDHOOD. CHILDREN ARE BOTH WITH MANY MO NEURONS THAN THEIR MATURE BRAIN WILL RETAIN, THROUGH A PROCESS KNOWN AS "PRUNING" THE BRAIN ACTUALLY LOSES THE NEURONAL CONNECTIONS THAT ARE LESS USED, AND FORMS STRONG CONNECTION IN THOSE SYNAPTIC CIRCUITS THAT HAVE BEEN UTILIZED THE MOST. PRUNING, BY DOING AWAY WITH EXTRANEOUS SYNAPES, IMPROVES THE SIGNAL-TO-NOISE RATIO IN THE BRAIN BY REMOVING THE CAUSE OF THE "NOISE" . THIS PROCESS IS CONSTANT AND QUICK. SYNAPTIC CONNECTIONS CAN FORM IN A MATTER OF HOURS OR OR DAYS. EXPERIENCE., PARTICULARLY IN CHILDHOOD, SCULPTS THE BRAIN.

                         THE CLASSIC DEMONSTRATION OF THE IMPACT OF EXPERIENCE ON BRAIN GROWTH WAS BY NOBEL PRIZE-WINNERS THORSTEN WIESEL AND DAVID HUBEL, BOTH NEURO SCIENTISTS. THEY SHOWED THAT IN CATS AND MONKEYS, THERE WAS A CRITICAL PERIOD DURING THE FIRST FEW MONTHS OF LIFE FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE SYNAPSES THAT CARRY SIGNALS FROM THE EYE TO THE VISUAL CORTEX, WHERE THOSE SIGNALS ARE INTERPRETED. IF ONE EYE WAS KEPT CLOSED DURING THAT PERIOD, THE NUMBER OF SYNAPSES FROM THAT EYE TO THE VISUAL CORTEX DWINDLED AWAY, WHILE THOSE FROM THE OPEN EYE MULTIPLIED. IF AFTER THE CRITICAL PERIOD ENDED THE CLOSED EYE WAS REOPENED. THE ANIMAL WAS FUNCTIONALLY BLIND IN THE EYE. ALTHOUGH NOTHING WAS WRONG WITH THE EYE ITSELF, THERE WERE TOO FEW CIRCUITS TO THE VISUAL CORTEX FOR SIGNALS FROM THAT EYE TO BE-INTERPRETED.

                       THE HABITS OF EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT THAT ARE REPEATED OVER AND OVER AGAIN DURING CHILDHOOD AND THE TEENAGE YEARS WILL THEMSELVES HELP MOLD THIS CIRCUITRY. THIS MAKES CHILDHOOD A CRUCIAL WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY FOR SHAPING LIFELONG EMOTIONAL PROPENSITIES, HABITS ACQUIRED IN CHILDHOOD BECOME SET IN THE BASIC SYNAPTIC WIRING OF NEURAL ARCHITECTURE, AND ARE HARDER TO CHANGE, LATER IN LIFE. GIVEN THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PREFRONTAL LOBES FOR MANAGING EMOTION, THE VERY LONG WINDOW FOR SYNAPTIC FOR SYNAPTIC SCULPTING IN THIS BRAIN REGION MAY WELL MEAN THAT, IN THE GRAND DESIGN OF THE BRAIN, A CHILD'S EXPERIENCES OVER THE YEARS CAN MOLD LASTING CONNECTIONS IN THE REGULATORY CIRCUITY OF THE EMOTIONAL BRAIN. AS WE HAVE SEEN, CRITICAL EXPERIENCES INCLUDE HOW DEPENDABLE AND RESPONSIVE TO THE CHILD'S NEEDS PARENTS ARE, THE OPPORTUNITIES AND GUIDANCE AND CHILD HAS IN LEARNING TO HANDLE HER OWN DISTRESS AND CONTROL IMPULSE, AND PRACTICE IN EMAPTHY. BY THE SAME TOKEN, NEGLECT OR ABUSE, THE MISATUNEMENT OF A SELF-ABSORBED OR INDIFFERENT PARENT, OR BRUTAL DISCIPLINE CAN LEAVE THEIR IMPRINT ON THE EMOTIONAL CIRCUITRY.

                        ONE OF THE MOST ESSENTIAL LESSONS, FIRST LEARNED IN INFANCY AND REFINED THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD, IS HOW TO SOOTHE ONSELF WHEN UPSET. FOR VERY YOUNG INFANTS, SOOTHING COMES FROM CARETAKERS, A MOTHER HEARTS HER INFANT CRYING, PICKS HIM UP, HOLDS AND ROCKS HIM UNTIL HE CALMS DOWN. THIS BILOGIAL ATTUNEMENT, SOME THEORISTS PROPOSE, HELPS THE CHILD BEGIN TO LEARN HOW TO DO THE SAME FOR HIMSELF. DURING A CRITICAL PERIOD BETWEEN TEN AND EIGHTEEN MONTHS, THE ORBITOFRONTAL AREA OF THE PREFRONTAL CORTEX TEN AND EIGHTEEN MONTHS, THE ORBITOFRONTAL AREA OF THE PREFRONTAL CORTEX IS REPIDLY FORMING THE CONNECTIONS WITH THE LIMBIC BRAIN THAT WILL MAKE IT A KEY ON/OFF SWITCH FOR DISTRESS. 

                          THE INFANT WHO THROUGH COUNTLESS EPISODES OF BEING SOOTHED IS HELPTED ALONG IN LEARNING HOW TO CALM DOWN, THE SPECULATION GOES, WILL HAVE STRONGER CONNECTIONS IN THIS CIRCUIT FOR CONTROLLING DISTRESS, AND SO THROUGHOUT LIFE WILL BE BETTER AT SOOTHING HIMSELF WHEN UPSET.

                      SOME OF THE MOST TELLING OF SUCH LESSONS COME FROM PARENT TO CHILD. THERE ARE VERY DIFFERENT, EMOTIONAL HABITS INSTILLED BY PARENTS WHOSE ATTUNEMENT MEANS IN INFANT'S EMOTIONAL NEED ARE ACKNOWLEDGED AND MET OR WHOSE DISCIPLINE INCLUDES EMPATHY, ON THE ONE HAND, OR SELF-ABSORBED PARENTS WHO IGNORE A CHILD'S DISTRESS OR WHO DISCIPLINE CAPRICIOUSLY BY YELLING AND HITTING MUCH PSYCHOTHERAPY IS, IN A SENSE, A RMEDIAL TUTORIAL FOR WHAT WAS SKEWED OR MISSED COMPLETELY EARLIER IN LIFE. BUT WHY NOT DO WHAT WE CAN TO PREVENT THAT NEED, BY GIVING CHILDREN THE NUTURING AND GUIDANCE THAT CULTIVATES THE ESSENTIAL EMOTIONAL SKILLS IN THE FIRST PLACE?

THE SUPREME POWER (GOD)

                                      THE RECOGNITION 

                                      OF THE CREATOR

                                  THE VERY FUNDAMENTAL CHARATERISTIC OF THINGS IS THAT THEY RECOGNIZE THE WILL OF GOD AND OBEY HIS COMMANDS. THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF LIFE. THE FOLLOWING REVELATIONS DESCRIBE THIS TRUTH.

                        AND UNTO ALLAH PROSTRATES,'

                       WHAT SO EVER IS IN THE HEAVENS

                       AND THE EARTH, 

                       WILLINGLY OR UNWILLINGLY,

                       AND SO THEIR SHADOWS,

                       IN THE MORNING AND THE EVENING HOURS.

                                                                            ❤

                       HAS THOU NOT SEEN, 

                      UNTO ALLAH PAYS ADORATION,

                      WHATSOVER IS IN THE EARTH, 

                      AND THE SUN, AND THE MOON AND THE STARS

                      AND THE HILLS, AND THE TREES,

                       AND THE BEASTS,

                       AND MANY OF THE MANKING".

                       THESE VERSES PROVE THAT ALL THINGS RECOGNIZE THEIR CREATOR, AND ADORE HIM. THIS IS THEIR IN-BUILT INSTINCT. MAY IT BE AN ATOM OR SMALLER THAN THAT, OR BIGGER THAN THAT, ALL THINGS  OBEY THE LAWS FRAMED BY HIM. EXCEPTION CAN BE AMONG THE MANKIND, WHO FOR A LIMITED PERIOD OF THEIR STAY ON THE EARTH ARE BESTOWED WITH THE FREE WILL, TO BELIEVE OR NOT BELIEVE.

                                                                                ❤

                    THE VERSE 17 (44), FURTHER CLARIFIES THIS COMMON CHARACTERISTICS OF THINGS IN THE FOLLOWING FASHION.

                             THE SEVEN HEAVENS AND THE EARTH,

                             AND ALL THAT IS THEREIN,

                              PRAISES HIM,

                             AND THERE IS NOT A THING

                             BUT CELEBRATES HIS PRAISES,

                             YET YOU UNDERSTAND NOT THEIR PRAISE,

                             LO! HE IS EVER CLEMENT AND FORGIVING.

                           THIS VERSE MAKES IT ABSOLUTELY CLEAR THAT WITHOUT EXCEPTION, ALL THINGS HAVE THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE THEIR CREATOR AND AS A MANIFESTATION OF THIS RECOGNITION THEY HYMN HIS PRAISES.

                                                              👀

                              FEAR OF GOD:

                    BESIDES HYMNING THE PRAISES OF GOD, VERSE 2 (74) TELLS US THAT THINGS ALSO FEAR THEIR LORD.

                          " AND INDEED THERE ARE ROCKS,

                           WHICH FALL DOWN FOR THE FEAR OF ALLAH,

                            ALLAH IS AWARE OF WHAT YE DO".

                               

                    

                                                                           👀

                          FALLING OF ROCKS DUE TO THE FEAR FO ALLAH MEANS THAT THEY MUST HAVE A MIND WHICH IS FULLY CONSCIOUS OF THEIR CREATOR. IN THIS RESPECT AS WE SEE FROM VERSE 13, THAT EVEN THE ENERGY SYSTEMS SUCH AS THUNDER, LIGHTNINGS AND ANGLES RECOGNIZE HIM, FEAR HIM AND PRAISE THEIR LORD.

                             

                               THE THUNDER HYMN HIS PRAISE,

                              AND (SO DO) THE ANGELS,

                               FOR AWE OF HIM".

MARIAGE ADVICE FOR MEN AND WOMEN

                    

                                        HIS AND HERS 

                                     MARITAL ADVICE

                         GIVEN THE GRIM POTENTIAL OUTCOME OF THE DIFFERENCE IN HOW MEN AND WOMEN DEAL WITH DISTRESSING FEELINGS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP, WHAT CAN COUPLES DO TO PROTECT THE LOVE AND AFFECTION THEY FEEL FOR EACH OTHER- IN SHORT, WHAT PROTECTS A MARRIAGE? ON THE BASIS OF WATCHING INTERACTION IN THE COUPLES WHOSE MARRIAGES HAVE CONTINUED TO THRIVE OVER THE YEARS, MARITAL RESEARCHES OFFER SPECIFIC ADVICE FOR MEN AND WOMEN, AND SOME GENERAL WORDS FOR BOTH. 

                          MEN AND WOMEN, IN GENERAL, NEED DIFFERENT EMOTIONAL FINE-TUNING. FOR MEN, THE ADVICE IS NOT TO SIDESTEP CONFLICT, BUT TO REALIZE THAT WHEN THEIR WIFEBRINGS UP SOME GRIEVANCE OR DISAGREEMENT, SHE MAY BE DOING IT AS AN ACT OF LOVE, TRYING TO KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP HEALTHY AND ON COURSE (ALTHOUGH THERE MAY WELL BE OTHER MOTIVES FOR A WIFE'S HOSTILITY). WHEN GRIEVANCES SIMMER, THEY BUILD AND BUILD IN INTENSITY THERE'S AN EXPOSION, WHEN THEY ARE AIRED AND WORKED OUT, IT TAKES THE PRESSURE OFF. BUT HUNDREDS NEED TO REALIZE THAT ANGER OR DISCONTENT IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH PERSONAL ATTACK - THEIR WIVES EMOTIONS ARE OFTEN SIMPLY UNDERLINES, EMPHASIZING THE STRENGTH OF HER FEELINGS ABOUT THE MATTER.

                          MEN ALSO NEED TO BE ON GUARD AGAINST SHORT-CIRCUITING THE DISCUSSION BY OFFERING A PRACTICAL SOLUTION TOO EARLY ON - IT'S TYPICALLY MORE IMPORTANT TO A WIFE THAT SHE FEEL HER HUSBAND HEARS HER COMPLAIN AND EMPATHIZES WITH HER FEELINGS ABOUT THE MATTER (THOUGH HE NEED NOT AGREE WITH HER ). SHE MAY HEAR HIS OFFERING ADVICE AS A WAY OF DISMISSING HER FEELINGS  AS INCONSEQUENTIAL. HUSBAND WHO ARE ABLE TO STAY WITH THEIR WIVES THROUGH THE HEAT OF ANGER, RATHER THAN DISMISSING THEIR COMPLAINTS AS PRETTY, HELP THEIR WIVES FEEL HEARD AND RESPECTED. MOST ESPECIALLY, WIVES WANT TO HAVE THEIR FEELINGS ACKNOWLEDGED AND RESPECTED A VALID, EVEN IF THEIR HUSBANDS DISAGREE. MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, WHEN A WIFE FEELS HER VIEW IS HEARD AND HER FEELINGS REGISTERED, SHE CALMS DOWN.

                         AS FOR WOMEN, THE ADVICE QUITE PARALLEL. SINCE A MAJOR PROBLEM FOR MEN IS THAT THEIR WIVES ARE TOO INTENSE IN VOICING COMPLAINTS, WIVES NEED TO MAKE A PURPOSEFUL EFFORT TO BE CAREFUL NOT TO ATTACK THEIR HUSBANDS - TO COMPLAIN ABOUT WHAT THEY DID, BUT NOT CRITICIZE THEM AS A PERSON OR EXPRESS CONTEMPT. COMPLAINS ARE NOT ATTACKS ON CHARACTER, BUT RATHER A CLEAR STATEMENT THAT A PARTICULAR ACTION IS DISTRESSING. AN ANGRY PERSONAL ATTACK WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY LEAD TO A HUSBAND'S GETTING DEFENSIVE OR STONEWALLING, WHICH WILL BE ALL THE MORE FRUSTRATING, AND ONLY ESCALATE THE FIGHT. IT HELPS, TOO, IF A WIFE'S COMPLAINTS ARE PUT IN LARGER CONTEXT OF REASSURING HER HUSBAND OF HER LOVE FOR HIM.

MARRIAGE LIFE

       

         

                                THE RELATIONSHIP OF           

                                   HUSBAND AND WIFE

                                                      ❤

                            👀  INTIMATE ENEMIES 👀

 

                               TO LOVER AND TO WORD, SIGMUND FREUD ONE REMARKED TO HIS DISCIPLE ERIK ENIKSON, ARE THE TWIN CAPACITIES THAT MARK  FULL MATURITY. IF THAT IS THE CASE, THEN MATURITY MAY BE AN ENDANGERED WAY STATION IN LIFE - AND CURRENT TRENDS IN MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE MAKE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MORE CRUCIAL THAN EVER.

                              CONSIDER DIVORCE RATES. THE RATE PER YEAR OF DIVORCES HAS MORE OR LESS LEVELED OFF. BUT THERE IS ANOTHER WAY OF CALCULATING DIVORCES RATES, ONE THAT SUGGESTS A PERILOUS CLIMB. LOOKING AT THE ODDS THAT A GIVEN NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE WILL HAVE THEIR MARRIAGE EVENTUALLY END IN DIVORCE. ALTHOUGH THE OVERALL RATE OF DIVORCE HAS STOPPED CLIMBING, THE RISK OF DIVORCE HAS BEEN SHIFTING TO NEWLYWEDS.

                                                                           ❤

                            THE SHIFT GETS CLEARER IN COMPARING DIVORCE RATES FOR COUPLES WED IN GIVEN YEAR. FOR AMERICAN MARRIAGES THAT BEGAN IN 1890, ABOUT 10 PERCENT ENDED IN DIVORCE. FOR THOSE WED IN 1920, THE RATE WAS ABOUT 18 PERCENT, FOR COUPLES MARRIED IN 1950, 30 PERCENT. COUPLES THAT WERE NEWLY WED IN 1970 HAD A FIFTY-FIFTY CHANCE OF SPLITTING UP OR STAYING TOGETHER. AND FOR MARRIED COUPLES STARTING OUT IN 1990, THE LIKELIHOOD THAT THE MARRIAGE WOULD END IN DIVORCE WAS PROJECTED TO BE CLOSE TO A STAGGERING 67 PERCENT . IF THE ESTIMATE HOLDS, JUST THREE IN TEN OF RECENT NEWLYWEDS CAN COUNT ON STAYING MARRIED TO THEIR NEW PARTNER. 

                        IT CAN BE ARGUED THAT MUCH OF THIS RISE IS DUE NOT SO MUCH TO A DECLINE IN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AS TO THE STEADY EROSION OF SOCIAL PRESSURES - THE SIGMA SURROUNDING DIVORCE, OR THE ECONOMIC DEPENDENCE OF WIVES ON THEIR HUSBANDS- THAT USED TO KEEP COUPLES TOGETHER  IN EVEN THE MOST MISERABLE OF MATCHES. BUT IF SOCIAL PRESSURES ARE NO LONGER THE GLUE THAT HOLDS A MARRAIGE TOGETHER, THEN THE EMOTIONAL FORCES BETWEEN WIFE AND HUSBAND ARE THAT MUCH MORE CRUCIAL IF THEIR UNION IS TO SURVIVE.

                           THESE TIES BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE - AND THE EMOTIONAL FAULT LINE THAT CAN BREAK THEM APART -HAVE BEEN ASSAYED IN RECENT YEARS WITH A PRECISION NEVER SEEN BEFORE. PERHAPS THE BIGGEST BREAKTHROUGH IN UNDERSTANDING WHAT HOLDS A MARRIAGE TOGETHER OR TEARS IT APART HAS COME FROM THE USE OF SOPHISTICATED PHYSIOLOGICAL MEASURES THAT ALLOW THE MOVEMENT-TO-MOVEMENT TRACKING OF THE EMOTIONAL NUANCES OF A COUPLE'S ENCOUNTER. 

                                    SCIENTISTS ARE NOW ABLE TO DETECT  A HUSBAND'S OTHERWISE INVISIBLE ADRENALINE SURGES AND JUMPS IN BLOOD PRESSURE, AND TO OBSERVE FLEETING BUT TELLING MICROEMOTIONS AS THEY FLIT ACROSS A WIFE'S FACE. THESE PHYSIOLOGICAL MEASURES REVEAL A HIDDEN BILOGICAL SUBTYPICALLY IMPERCEPTIBLE TO OR DISREGARDED BY THE COUPLE THEMSELVES. THESE MEASURES LAY BARE THE EMOTIONAL FORCES THAT HOLD A RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER OR DESTROY IT. THE FAULT LINES HAVE THEIR EARLIES BEGINNINGS IN THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE EMOTIONAL WORLD OF GIRSL AND BOYS.

HOW OUR EMOTIONAL WORK (FEAR)

 

                         

                            EMOTIONAL RELEARNING

                                               (FEAR)

                         SUCH TRAUMATIC MEMORIES SEEM TO REMAIN AS FIXTURES IN BRAIN FUNCTION BECAUSE THEY INTERFERE WITH SUBSEQUENT LEARNING - SPECIALLY, WITH RELEARNING A MORE NORMAL RESPONSE TO THOSE TRAUMATIZING EVENTS. IN ACQUIRED FEAR SUCH AT PTSD, THE MECHANISMS OF LEARNING AND MEMORY HAVE GONE AWAY, AGAIN, IT IS THE AMYGDALA THAT IS KEY AMONG THE BRAIN REGIONS INVOLVED. BUT IN OVERCOMING THE LEARNED FEAR, THE NEOCORTEX IS CRITICAL.

                          FEAR CONDITIONING IS THE NAME PSYCHOLOGISTS USE FOR THE PROCESS WHEREBY SOMETHING THAT IS NOT IN THE LEAST THREATENING BECOMES DREADED AS IT IS ASSOCIATED IN SOMEONE'S MIND WITH SOMETHING FRIGHTENING. WHEN SUCH FRIGHTS ARE INDUCED IN LABORATORY ANIMALS, CHARNEY NOTES, THE FEARS CAN LAST FOR YEARS. THEY KEY REGION OF THE BRAIN THAT LEARNS, RETAINS, AND ACTS ON THIS FEARFUL RESPONSE IS THE CIRCUIT BETWEEN THE THALAMUS, AMYGDALA, AND PREFRONTAL LOBE- THE PATHWAY OF NEURAL HIJACKING.

                     ORDINARILY, WHEN SOMEONE LEARNS TO BE FRIGHTENED BY SOMETHING THROUGH FEAR CONDITONING, THE FEAR SUBSIDES WITH TIME. THIS SEEMS TO HAPPEN THROUGH A NATURAL RELEARNING, AS THE FEARED OBJECT IS ENCOUNTERED AGAIN IN THE ABSENSE OF ANYTHING TRULY SCARY. THUS A CHILD WHO ACQUIRES A FEAR OF DOGS BECAUSE OF BEING CHASED BY A SNARLING GERMAN SHEPHERED GRADUALLY AND NATURALLY LOSES THAT FEAR IF SAY, SHE MOVES NEXT DOOR TO SOMEONE WHO OWNS A FRIENDLY SHEPHERED, AND SPENDS TIME PLAYING WITH THE DOG.

                        IN PTSD, SPONTANEOUS  RELEARNING FAILS TO OCCUR. CAHRNEY PROPOSES THAT THIS MAY BE DUE TO THE BRAIN CHANGES OF PTSD, WHICH ARE SO STRONG THAT, IN EFFECT, THE AMYGDALA HIJACKING OCCURS EVERY TIME SOMETHING EVEN VAGUELY REMINISCENT OF THE ORIGINAL TRAUMA COMES ALONG. STRENGTHENING THE FEAR PATHWAY. THIS MEANS THAT THERE IS NEVER A TIME WHEN WHAT IS FEARED IS PAIRED IS PAIRED WITH A FEELING A CALM- THE AMYGDALA NEVER RELEARNS A MORE MILD REACTION, "EXTINCTION" OF THE FEAR, HE OBSERVES, APPEARS TO INVOLVE AN ACTIVE PROCESS", WHICH IS ITSELF IMPAIRED IN PEOPLE WITH PTSD, LEADING TO THE ABNORMAL PERSISTENCE OF EMOTIONAL MEMORIES.

                    BUT GIVEN THE RIGHT EXPERIENCES, EVEN PTSD CAN LIFT, STRONG EMOTIONAL MEMORIES, AND THE PATTERNS OF THOUGHT AND REACTION THAT THEY TRIGGER, CAN CHANGE WITH TIME, THIS RELEARNING, CHARNEY PROPOSES, IS CORTIAL. THE ORGINAL FEAR INGRAINED IN THE AMYGDALA DOES NOT GO AWAY COMPLETELY, RATHER, THE PREFRONTAL CORTEX ACTIVELY SUPPRESSESS THE AMYGDALA'S COMMAND TO THE REST OF THE BRAIN TO RESPOND WITH FEAR.

                       THE QUESTION IS, HOW QUICKLY DO YOU LET GO LEARNED FEAR? ASKS RICHARD DAVIDSON, THE UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN PSYCHOLOGIST WHO DISCOVERED THE ROLE OF THE LEFT PREFRONTAL CORTEX AS A DAMPER ON DISTRESS. IN A LABORATORY EXPERIMENT IN WHICH PEOPLE FIRST LEARNED AS AVERSION TO A LOUD NOISE - A PARADIGM FOR LEANED FEAR, AND A LOWER-KEY PARALLELL OF PTSD - DAVIDSON FOUND THAT PEOPLE WHO HAD MORE ACTIVITY IN THE LEFT PREFRONTAL CORTEX GOT OVER THE ACQUIRED FEAR MORE QUICKLY, AGAIN SUGGESTING A CORTICAL ROLE IN LETTING GO OF  LEARNED DISTRESS.